Episode 002 - "Building the SandCastle: Running a Business while Married and Pregnant"

I'm working, you know, 16 to 20 hours a day.

I'm terrified when it comes to my workflow. I'm terrified. I am going through one of the biggest company changes in the history of me ever doing anything in business. But then I also have this life change that I've never been through before.

Yeah, I feel like he's been crazy lately.

The variation is really good.

If we can get it put together this week and start marketing it next week.

A certain amount of proactivity that says, look, our market gets around 200 roofing days a year.

We better put these away before you start drooling. Hey. And I'm going to show you the world.

Get off.

Get off.

How did it not pop off? Allison, before your food gets cold, please.

I watched this on TikTok. I get a lot of skills on TikTok. So you gotta. You gotta like this. Then you get this, like, gross part at the top, so you gotta rip it off. I'm pretty sure this is how Taco Bell does it.

There you go. You're not strong. Oh, big game, mayor. Let's go pull some tea leaves, Ellie. When I met Allison, she had a lot of plants. And that's how, you know you pick a winner. Because if they can keep this many useless things alive, what's one more? So me and Thanos found a great companion. Come on. That's one of my best jokes. In a way, it's kind of peaceful. You know, it's just working, meditation. Like, there's something to be said for that.

Sometimes if you have a really hard day, it's nice to just come out.

You just kind of get a definition of done. It's just really, like. You just know when you've completed something and it feels good. It's like, something that people don't appreciate about, like, labor jobs. So when I worked on, like, oil rigs, or I fed wood into a saw for eight hours a day at one job, and in those jobs, it was nice because you got to think. You know what I mean? You got to think inside your head. And with the work that we do, it's so out, out, out. You're constantly putting out and absorbing, and you never get to just think.

You get really good ideas actually out here. Like, if you can't, if you're staring at your computer, you can get overwhelmed with, like, slack messages and text messages and email messages because, like, there really is no personal life here. And there's always something to do as a business owner. So this is kind of something where, like, You've disconnected and like, we're in nature, you know?

Get it. Get it down. It's right here. Get it.

There we go. There we go. I'm gonna get.

That's my stick. That's my stick.

So you can put him on this task, and then every day he'll come out and work on it.

Tricked you. Okay. All right. Sit. Sit. Stay.

Stop.

Good boy, fanny.

I think that it's probably smarter to create a process here so that we can add it into the handbook later. This is the one thing that if you can do, like, this is the one thing that it will actually move the needle in the company. At the beginning of my career, like, before I even worked at rbp, money motivated me. How much can I earn in a year? And then that kind of went away, which was weird because I've been dreaming about money since I was 5 years old. That kind of eroded away because money comes and money goes. And what keeps me going is probably I would love to know who I can become in the character development. I want to help real world issues and real world problems in. In an impactful way, not just in a what's in it for me way. It sounds probably so cheesy, but, like, the character development of, like, the person that I am and the knowledge that I can consume at an expedited rate because I'm up and I'm working twice as long as the average human being. My midwife said that I should only be working, you know, a couple hours a day, but I'm working, you know, 16 to 20 hours a day still, just trying to get everything that needs to be done, done. I'm terrified. We weren't planning on having a baby, and it's been kind of just a struggle every single day trying to decide what I can get done and what I can't. There's certain days where I just absolutely have to take a break. And then there are certain days where I sit at my computer all day. And so I think my body is definitely taking a toll. But at the same time, it's just the business is so demanding. Is it sustainable? Everybody around me tells me no. Everybody around me tells me that this isn't normal. Everybody tells me I need to sleep more. But I have this bad habit of only taking advice from people that are where I want to be. I'm so stubborn that I'm not going to take advice from someone who doesn't have the financial freedom, doesn't have the balance that I necessarily want, because I love what I do. It's hard. Some days I cry. Some days I am extremely emotional. Some days I have to fight back tears. But I absolutely love what I do. I love the people that I work with. I love the organization that we're creating. And I don't. Honestly, like, I don't know what I would do if I only worked eight hours a day. I. What do you do with the rest of your time?

When it comes to my workflow, I'm terrified. I am going through one of the biggest company changes in the history of me ever doing anything in business. I have an enormous amount of financial obligations to make good on. But then I also have this life change that I've never been through before. Like, this isn't moving. This isn't getting a puppy. Like, this is another human. And apparently the first six months are crucial to building a connection with this child. And I'm terrified that I'm not going to find the balance, that I'm going to fail one thing or both, trying to make both succeed. And so I will just not be the man who's unprepared. And I am trying to do everything I can to be there. Oh, and by the way, get through the birthday. Now. It's like trying to balance growing a business, dealing with pregnancy, doctor's appointments, getting groceries, taking care of dogs, cleaning up the house. It's just the workouts become the sacrificial lamb. So I'm getting this, like, pregnancy puffiness. And I worked really hard earlier this year to lose a bunch of weight because I wanted to be in shape for my kid. It just became the sacrificial lamb. It's like just now, that's all it is. It's just. It's like maintenance and stress relief and like, guilt. Now we're gonna start loading up some weight and actually trying to get some blood pumping. Because the thing that I do find and the thing that I have to remind myself of is to keep prioritizing this because I've worked out a lot my whole life, and I just know that, like, getting that oxygen makes the brain work a little bit better, and it really breaks down the stress. If I want to be able to enjoy my kids teen years, I have to be able to get out there and do things, you know, if I want to ski with them, you know, or surf with them or hike with him or teach him how to play football. Right? Or anything that he wants to do, right? If I want to go enjoy that with him, I'm gonna have to take care of my health and a Lot of my friends, they had kids at 20. You know, I'm 39. Their kids are, like, getting ready to leave the house, and I'm just now having a baby. I think that when you're about to become a father, you think a lot about what is my son gonna be or who is he gonna be, what is he gonna like, what am I gonna want him to do? You also have this, like, legacy piece where you want to say, I want him to be like this, or I want him to make all these moves that I didn't get to make faster than I got to make them. So I thought a lot about what I'd like for Atlas, but I also want to temper it with this. Like, I also want to give him the freedom to become who he is. I don't know what the right thing to do as a parent is. I'm hopefully going to figure it out on the job and just be a good dad, and he's going to grow up and find something to do that makes him feel valued and puts him in a position where he can have access to all the choices that he wants to make, where people don't make decisions for him. That's all I really want. And I just want to unlock all those mysteries for him. And so I just want to earn enough trust that he'll come to me with a question and he'll believe the answer.

We had an appointment on the North Shore with the midwife, and so we decided to grab breakfast and coffee and then head to the beach.

Yeah, it was a good opportunity to have some really good avocado toast. And for some reason, I managed to order the wrong coffee. Coconut konamoke, no whip, please.

May I do the Hawaiian honey latte? I want to open the one that's pulled.

It's cold.

15 year olds are doing backflips in the Olympics and we're still pushing on the pull doors. Ever eaten 4k before?

No, but I'd like to try your sandwich.

I bet he would.

Thanks. Your food always looks better than mine.

Let me take it. I'm just gonna wreck it if I don't.

I have to be able to pull it back because you sometimes take bites that are too big.

So what's it like to get out and see Hawaii? Look at it.

I think it's cool to know that even from your office like this exists.

And it's so close, it gets easy to forget, you know, there's so much that's, like, appealing about the idea of, like, oh, work from home. Right. But the challenge, of course, is then, you know, it gets very easy to just see that your world is the thousand square feet or whatever that you live in. Some of the nicest shores and the nicest beaches in the world are here. And we get to live here.

Hawaii is one of the only places in the States where people are like, oh, my gosh, you get to live there. But it also. It also has that aspect or element that where people are like, you can't complain about it or else. You look like a huge asshole.

Yeah, you're the biggest.

You're the biggest dick that has ever existed. It's like, I've been to the beach five times. I've been to the beach and ha. And gone in the water three times. Right? So it's like.

But people think you're down here.

People think I probably here every single weekend. And some people would take advantage and good for them. But it's like my passion and my. My passion is like my computer. You know, it's like, I like, what's your team like?

You're lying when you say that your team is your passion.

Yeah, but my team, my computer is the way that I connect with them.

Yeah, you're. Because, like, for you, you're so obsessed with the culture. You're so obsessed with the employee. Like, the internal and external customer experience. Like, you look at the employees like customers. They're just internal customers. And you're always talking about, like, we need to create safety, we need to create stability. We need to create security. You can't do it that way.

I don't like tossing. I was trying to think of the analogy. I'm so terrible at men. Male analogies. I was going to say, like, iud, but then I think that's like something you put inside so you don't get pregnant. I don't like lobbying. Like, I don't like lobbying.

Tossing a grenade into people's blood.

What is that thing called in war?

An ied.

Okay, that's what I was gonna say.

An improvised explosive device is buried in the ground.

I'm not gonna toss IUDs at people.

I hope not. Biohazards. I don't like that. You don't like, like that. That grenade would be better rather than tossing biohazards at people.

No, I just don't like lobbing like things at people and being like, setting them up for failure. It's like, I think. I think as a business owner, like, you gotta set up, set them up for success, and you have to give them predictability. And stability. Because where you live, who you live with and then where you work or what you do for work, those things have the biggest impact on their lives. And now it's like remote work, too. It's like they're bringing one of those stressors into their house. So there's no escaping it. Right. So it's like God forbid they live with their husband too.

Let's hypothesize for a second that we're going to live in Hawaii forever. Right. How do you think Atlas would grow up differently than how we grew up? What would be different for him? What are some positive things you think Atlas would get from growing up here instead of, say, Edmonton, living near the ocean?

I think that's positive.

What do you think his life would be like living so close to the ocean?

I think there's just more to do outside. Right. Like, I don't. I don't see a lot of iPad kids here. Like, they go outside.

Would you want him to surf?

I think I want to. I think I want him to do whatever he wants to do. If he wants to serve, like, absolutely. I want him to have a relationship or a connection with nature, whatever that is.

So now we're going off to the midwife. So she's actually on the north shore right nearby here, so it's a great excuse to get down to the beach. And so because we don't have Social Security numbers, we're still fresh immigrants to the country. We don't have health care. For us, it felt like the best thing to do was actually use the midwife and do a home birth. So we're going to have the full thing where the baby's born at home in the living room in a pool. And so we're off to go see her now.

Well, how are you doing today?

Hot. I'm hot today down the beach.

I'm hot. It's hot. But the good news is that it's. It's going to be winter in Hawaii.

Yeah, it's going to go down. Temperature 6 degree.

It's better than middle of September.

How are you taking the dogs in the water?

I found that I'm a little bit more limited because of. I just get so fatigued so quickly and my lower, my lower back just tightens up. So it's like after a certain point, it's like, it's like I feel really great. And then like a few minutes later I feel so exhausted, my lower back is just like killing me. And as an athlete, I feel like. I feel. I feel like I'M failing, you know, so it's like I just feel like I just haven't. It's so tough because I'm used to being able to like have stamina and like longevity and like be able to like actually work out. And now it's like my body just is like so limiting.

So. So maybe think of it because I know, you know, the athlete thing for labor, when you're in labor, athletes that it's, it's a blessing and a little bit of a challenge.

Okay.

Because as an athlete, like you just said it, you used to be like, I'm doing this thing and I'm going to succeed. And then if I don't, you know, like do the finish line or whatever it is like the way I want.

It to, it's like, yeah.

And you know, labor or birth is a very different thing.

Right? It's finding that out firsthand.

It's a big mystery. And it's not like a goal. It's a process and it's a continual process.

I think that's the part that is tough. Cuz it's like there's no. Like I just kind of want to ram it through and just like get it, get like as much work as I can do. But then it's. Yeah, my, my hips are.

Yeah, we moved.

Her hips are really tired.

We moved her out to the. We moved her out of the office. We cut her working hours. We put like. So she's like, oh, good, you come, you come.

Yeah, yeah. I'm only working 40 hours a week now, so for a cutting, we cut, cut from. We cut from 150 in a pay period. 140 in a pay period.

Maybe from 40 we get.

You know what? Next week. For next week I'll cut, I'll cut a little bit more.

Check your blood pressure.

Perfect.

120 over 68. It's a really good blood pressure. Let's see that beautiful belly. Share that baby with us.

It's. We're sweaty today. Oh, no.

Hi, baby. It's a beautiful, beautiful, perfect size belly for 36 weeks.

If you follow the butt down like this is very firm on this side.

And if you feel this side, it's squishier.

Okay, that's squishier. I can feel it better now than ever, right?

It's wonderful and it's really good.

It's like one.

That was maybe the reason. Little slower, little faster than the variation is really good. Beautiful job.

Yeah. I feel like he's been crazy lately. Moving like crazy moving.

I am so proud of you. Good job. I'm so proud of you. You like delivered on every expectation for the team, for me, for everyone. I love Atlas. The CRM is not so right now in this moment I'm feeling super anxious that we're still gonna fail.

November 1st is coming along. I'm now lying to my midwife about being part time when the baby's here. Like I have to focus on him. It's like very concerning seeing you in the office from 3, 4, 5am until 11:12:1 and then getting up first thing in the morning again when it's the.

Fourth quarter and you you're down by 17 points. Players make plays. We will find our all star teammates who are going to do the montage of the comeback. I have faith, right? So I'm feeling behind. I'm feeling like we're going to fail. Everything on the board right now says we're losing the game but I have faith that what we did today will make it go.