Episode 004 - "Building the SandCastle: Crying in the Shower"

I know that Adam and I haven't been the greatest with the fact that there's a baby at any point in the day or something and it looks like someone got diarrhea. And I got it on my hand. I'm so grossed out right now, physically.

I'm just ridiculously drained. Like, I have no impulse control around food, around vaping.

One of the biggest issues, too, is that we still have to run the company. And I need you to be more engaged in meetings because when you're staring at another screen when someone addresses you and. And then it's like, Adam. And you're like, yep.

I'm feeling a little bit defensive because lately I've been getting told I'm too engaged and too active. My body hurts, my internal organs feel off. You, as an owner, have to have the leadership skills and the tenacity, get rid of bad people, reach out to him.

Because right Now I have 300 emails in my personal inbox, 900 emails in my career zine. I hope I go into labor. Ow. I gotta wash the dog. Cassie didn't hug. Come on. We're gonna attempt not to get soaking wet.

Demos.

Get in.

I have this part of my course where I'm talking with the data model for Rivers and I kind of open it by saying, furrows are your most expensive leads.

I'm having some contractions. They're not labor contractions, but they're starting. Pregnancy is just kind of pain. You're just uncomfortable. Exhaustion. I mean, we're going to bed at three o' clock in the morning. Come here, thou. Let's use some $70 shampoo on you. Good boy.

Tara, just so you know, Allison went from cleaning feet to cleaning a whole dog, so she's just drying him off now.

Rocket and Thanos stepped in dog poop last night, so to clean it up. Oh, my gosh. This is really hard. This is one of the hardest things that I've ever done. The contractions are starting to get a little bit more frequent. When he moves, he rearranges my organs. There has been zero nesting, zero cleaning, zero any maternity, anything. It has just been straight up work. And so my back is sore. Yeah, everything is hard right now. Everything is hard and everything is very heavy.

We're getting down to the crunch time of like 26. We got to go live with, with the Atlas CRM on the 1st. We're going to go live with platform on the 1st. We have all these webinars we have to practice for. And of course, Allison, you know, is like any minute now with this baby, like, we got to get the week finished strong. We have to keep pushing. You know, I've been pushing a little hard. I've had to make some apologies to the company because I've been leading like a tyrant a little bit. As a CEO, I should really just be spending all my time casting the vision. Like, we can take Normandy. But when you don't have like certain roles in place, it's just like I end up having to be the manager that's like has to come down on people because of the nature of the position. I end up doing it publicly. And so you end up feeling like an asshat afterwards because you know it's the wrong thing to do. Calling somebody out in front of the whole team. What, you're just trying to do things in bulk. So I did an apology to everybody just to like reset with everyone. So I just want to apologize for like the public excoriation. It was wrong, but I have excuses. It doesn't matter. I just wanted to apologize because it's not who I want to be. It's not the company I want to build. I have to go in there and be less, talk, more listen, let the team intermingle and make stuff happen. How do I continue to reach out to enterprise sized clients without ignoring them and leaving them in the dust once we launch Atlas? Not that we don't do enterprise builds anymore. I understand how tough the communication is when you're trying to sell an enterprise. Five days before we're going to release power, after it's on the market, it's all fair game. So right now I'm hearing an answer that I flip flopped on a few times. And so I have said in the past, like, no, we're not going to be selling to these enterprise clients anywhere. I have said that so I understand where his confusion is coming from. My fear is that if we still sell the enterprise clients and we sell platform Atlas to the, to the lower market, we might end up getting ourselves into a bind. But I'm also trying to let the team make some decisions together and maybe that means they say we can do it and then am I supposed to let that happen? Maybe I think I'm supposed to. This might be an okay thing that this conversation's happening and I have to try and let it happen. Both of the things we've sold before are still going to be in place after this release. Just the way we go to the market to drive people towards those is different. With that in mind, do we have any delays in Service, or is it business as usual for our enterprise clients? Let's say they signed in six days. If a guy wants to start in two weeks, he'll start in two weeks. If he wants to start next week, I'll make it happen. They came up with a perfectly workable solution. They have to execute on it, right? There's idea risk, and then there's, like, execution risk. I had to mute myself. It was terribly difficult to keep my mouth shut. I'm a consultant by nature. That was how this business started. I have an unlimited amount of energy for interjecting myself into a problem to try and solve it. When you hear a problem and you don't get to solve it, it's like putting a piece of bacon in front of a dog and expecting them not to eat it. But it's what needs to be done. And ultimately, my life gets better as a result of other people solving the problems, not me. Because this isn't Adam consulting. This is RBP consulting. We're in this, like, dip before the launch. I have to try and hold strong. That's my challenge. I'm facing on that.

I know that Adam and I haven't been the greatest with the fact that there's a baby at any point in the day or something. And I'm just so proud of all of you. You guys are, like, embodying the core values every day. You guys are living up towards the mission and vision, and it's like a dream for Adam and I to just see, like, the team has our back.

So what's going on?

You chew, like, 15 pieces of gum a day, and they don't all make it to the garbage, right?

And then rock could put one on a blanket.

This is the third time that I've taken gum out of a carpet or a rope.

Sometimes you just. You're on a zoom, and you got to get rid of a piece of gum. I apologize.

Swallow it.

Then I would gain weight, do that.

I'm building an applicant tracking system. I'm also helping with hiring a DOO with two CSMs, two AES, two MDRs, a graphic designer, and a point solutions engineer.

Gosh, we got, like, 2,000 applicants in two days, and it charges you, like, 18 to $22 per applicant if you don't reject them in 72 hours. Just one role. It would have taken us 8.9 hours if we spent one minute on each applicant or the consequences, like, $6,000 just for that one role. So Allison and I have been up until 3am every single day trying to reject These roles and trying to. But you're also trying to go through them.

It's a lot of work to evaluate them and then interview them. And I just know that at some point I am going to have a baby and I'm going to have to pass it off. So I'm also having to write the sops for that. I think we're just going to go into this birth without any preparation or planning or anything. I just, I don't, I don't see where my life allows that or the business allows that or the team allows that. I'm a little bit stressed about that and a little bit stressed about everything else too, but just trying to figure it out. The dogs continue to step in their own feces and it looks like someone got diarrhea. And I got it on my hand. I am so grossed out right now.

A movie. Emotionally, I'm fine because I just understand that this is the work that needs doing. Physically is where I'm troubled. Like I have no impulse control around food, around vaping around, like drinking enough water, eating healthy. My body hurts. Like my internal organs feel off. You just have to believe that it's worth it.

Sorry. It is an early morning, so you have to go to sleep early tonight, but you have nothing this afternoon. What does need to happen from a people aspect is the fact that like when we're having a conversation, I need other people to actually input into the conversation.

Yeah. And this comes down to me sitting back a little more in the meetings when nobody says they have issues. Like today I just put myself on mute and made the silence awkward until like you talked for a bit.

You didn't because you put yourself on mute. And then you had a full out conversation. So then it looks like you're not engaged or, or active. Like if you would have done this right.

I was also trying to explain the journey that I was on to the camera. So right now I'm hearing, I'm hearing an answer that I flip flopped on a few times.

It was ineffective in what you thought it was doing. What you thought it was doing was the same as what you do here.

Well, the outcome of the meeting was.

Far better because you have a number two that always makes you look good.

I still heard every word. Like I even said, I want to go quiet here and see who talks first. I was still very engaged, but I get it when I. And I was trying to like just have like a slight aside conversation. But I'm trying to accomplish two goals.

I think one of the, one of the biggest Issues too, is that we still have to run the company. And I need you to be more engaged in meetings. Because when you're staring at another screen or on your phone or like not paying attention, or when someone addresses you and then it's like, adam, Adam. And you're like, yup.

I'm feeling a little bit defensive because I feel like lately I've been getting told I'm too engaged and too active. And I don't think I've been looking at my phone or being disengaged in meetings at all.

I'm going to start screenshotting it and sending them to you.

I've had private conversations with all these people to say, adam, we are too active in meetings. We need to sit back and let your team do stuff you do.

But here's the thing. You still have to be attentive. Just because we need you to stop talking doesn't mean that you need to distract yourself and then make it look like you're being inconvenienced. Cuz you don't get to talk the entire time.

Okay, if that. If that's the feedback that I need, then. Then I will take it. I'll try and do better. So we had a tough day yesterday. Alison was on a Zoom call with a customer. She had to move out here because she's just too pregnant to sit at a desk all day. So we settled this trap up. Thanos started trying to walk across her to basically sit on top of her belly, which made her super scared. So he's trying to push the dog off while holding the laptop. The dog ended up jumping around, turning around, knocked her brand new coffee that she had one sip out of fell down, got over the drapes. I'm on a Zoom call. She asked me for help, but I thought it was about something else. But next thing, I hear crash, bang, and all this stuff moving. Her yelling at the dogs and the door slapping. I come in here, this piece of the couch is flipped up against the wall like she had pregnant Hulk lady strength. And now she's like, cleaning up the mess. We had this, like, really intense moment.

I just paid $25 for a coffee that I had to sip out of Adam.

You're getting emotional. And that's okay.

Wouldn't you be? I'm gonna go dump yours out.

It's already drinking. It's already draining. Like, Allison, I'm not the enemy here. You said you had a question about a guy that you've been working, working on for a month, and then you said, I need Help. I know something will.

I'm in the middle of the meeting. Thanos crawls across me and sits on the baby. I'm trying to hold my computer. My legs are going numb. And I'm trying to say, get off, get off, get off, get off, get off, get off, get off. And then. And then he turns around, knocks the coffee over. I lose my. Because I just waited 45 minutes for a coffee and I got to have a sip out of it. And then I'm like, hey, I need some help. And then it's like, why didn't you type?

More like, adam, the dog's on me. I'm getting crushed. Not, I need help immediately after talking about people ops. Like, I don't know that the second that you are talking about a document that the help that you need is like, that you're being crushed. Like, give me some grace and forgiveness here.

I snap.

Okay, so now we're here. We're snapped. Let's unsnap. This is the stuff that nobody sees.

You know what I mean?

That, like, you just don't get about building a business while you're, you know, dealing with a pregnancy business from home, 150 pound dog. Like, you're just dealing with the intensity of the situation. And our goal of this is to give people hope because they get to see when it sucked. And when it sucked, it was even harder to capture it. But we wish the we had this when other people were there, so we had to show that this happens.

Because I'm sitting here alone with so much work that I don't even know what to do with, and I don't see the reward.

Sometimes when you want the money or your wife wants the stability or the security, it's really hard to maintain focus there because it would be so easy to just pay yourself more. Fire people, shrink your dream. Today is the first day of launch has gone to effect. It's been super crazy. We have, like, 75 people reaching out to us within an hour. Like, it's just bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. So the whole team is just excited and there's action and there's energy.