I Died and Went To .. (Testimony)

Hey, what's up y'all? Today I want to share with you a very critical part of my testimony. Now I know you all love, you know, my songs and you engage with my posts and everything, and I'm so thankful for that. But today I want to share some of my testimony, and it's a very You know, a part of my testimony that I have— I've kept to myself a lot. I don't talk a lot about, but today I'm feeling led by the Lord to share it in hopes that it will help someone else and encourage those of you who are watching this video. In 2013, while being married to someone that I had no business marrying, all of the red flags were there. God told me not to, and, um, I chose to not listen to God. I chose to rebel against God. And you can get to such a place of rebellion in God where he will turn you over to yourself and he will remove his hand. And when you get to that place, there is no safety and protection for you because it's a deliberate decision that you're not going to listen or yield to the Lord. And that was my experience. I'm not a person who has like a rap sheet of a health history that is just, you know, wild and crazy, but I did decide that I was going to rebel against God. And when you're in rebellion, curses come upon you. And so one night while I was volunteering at a place that I love to volunteer at with children Um, I started feeling very sick, and so I went to the bathroom and I was losing large amounts of blood at one time. And so I called my ex-husband and I was like, hey, can you come pick me up because I'm feeling really sick, I'm losing large amounts of blood, I'm gonna need a towel, this, that, and the third to even sit down in the seat. Um, Until we make it home. And so we get home, and all throughout the night I'm tossing and turning, in and out of the bathroom, still losing blood, still losing blood, still losing blood. So then the next morning, I start coughing up blood, and my body's very weak. It feels like I can't breathe. Everything is just— it just feels like life is leaving me by the minute. And so my ex-husband drives me to the ER. We get to the ER and I can feel and hear everything that the people in the ER are doing to me to try to see if I have a pulse, if I'll respond to them and everything, and I don't have one. And so it's almost like I was trapped inside of my body, and it's the scariest thing ever because I don't even know how to explain that. But if you feel trapped inside of your body and you can feel and hear everything that somebody's doing, and you're trying to tell them that you're not dead, you are still breathing, you're all— you are still alive. Like, it's really wild. Okay, let me just leave it there because I'm not even going to try to explain that. It's really wild. And so, um, they rolled me. I remember being rolled inside of a wheelchair, and again, I can feel and I can hear everything that they are saying and that they're doing. But I cannot respond. So then they put me on the table to try to bring me back, and I'm not— I'm just simply— my body just is numb, and it doesn't have any response to them whatsoever. I'm just not able to respond to them at all. And meanwhile, I'm still losing blood, but I cannot respond to them and tell them that, hey, I'm still alive. I'm still alive in here. I'm not dead. You know, there's nothing that is going on whatsoever. Like, I— hello, don't pronounce me dead, you know. But I can't communicate these things out of my mouth to them. And so I remember there was a period of time where I left my body and I was gone. And I didn't have some wild, crazy heavenly experience where I met Jesus and John the Baptist and Roses and all of them. And I'm not saying that people who have had those experiences, that it's not real, but I'm saying that that wasn't the case for me. Okay, so I do remember being in this space where it was completely, completely wiped and, um, nothing but light there. And I heard and saw things That I had never seen before. I heard sounds that I had never heard before. I saw colors that I had never seen before. And I was just like, where am I? You know? Um, and I heard the voice of God tell me that it's not time yet. And I woke up. And I was able to communicate again. This was for 30 whole minutes I was out. And the doctors in the room, the nurses in the room, and everyone in the room did not want to let me die. And I think that that was the grace of God, the mercy of God telling them to keep trying, to keep trying, to keep trying. And I remember looking up and I saw this doctor who had Sea blue-green eyes. Okay, I will never forget those eyes. He had sea green-blue eyes, and he looked up at me and he just had this sense of panic in his face while also feeling relieved that I wasn't gone. And so he— they take me to the room to recover, and they tell me that I have to get an emergency blood transfusion because I lost all of the blood out of my body except for 10%. And this doctor, I remember like seeing his face. It was so white and his eyes were so blue. I remember him panicking across my floor like, what can we do to save this girl's life? What can we do to bring her back to life? Because she can't leave here. It's time for her. She has to stay. And I remember just like thinking to myself, like, is this an angel of the Lord? Like, what? What? Like, is this— is this an angel of the Lord? Like, am I really having an encounter with an angel, like, in the form of a human being? Like, this is crazy. So, um, I remember from that moment, like, just like, God, like, I'm so tired of being This deep in rebellion? Like, how did my life end up in this place, right? And I, I'm aware of who you are, God. I know that you speak to me, but my life is just— this is just not it, right? So long story short, we check out of the hospital and, um, I wasn't supposed to make my way to the music room. on campus at the time. But I did. I made my way to the piano room, and that's where I wrote the song Dry Bones that so many of you love here. And I wrote that song, and I began to sing it to the Lord. And I was just sitting in there, and I was like feeling like the Lord was saying to me, you know, look at the death you just experienced. And how I stepped into that and showed you mercy, gave you grace, brought you back to life. So when I write songs like, and I sing Dry Bones, it's a real-life testimony of seeing God bring me back to life.

So when I sing, only you can awake these dry bones. And bring them back to life. Your breath fills my lungs to breathe. Your strength becomes my covering. Awake. Oh my soul, awake these dry bones. I need you, I need you, I need you to lift my head 'cause I can't take my eyes off where I've been.

I'm telling you, like Pen to the paper. I mean everything that it is that I write. And lately I just been spending time like telling God, thank you for saving my life. Because like I look at so many people and their testimonies here on this channel and I just be like, man, had it been another way 11 years ago None of y'all would know, you know, who I am or even be able to listen to this music. Like, I'm just like, God, like, thank you for saving my life. Like, I owe Jesus everything. He don't owe me nothing. I owe Jesus everything. And so, like, I'm so thankful that Jesus saved my life. I'm so thankful that 11 years ago God did not allow sin— me to die in my sin and go to hell. I'm so thankful that, that 11 years ago God did not allow me to die in my rebellion and lift my eyes up in hell. I owe Jesus everything, and I'm going to keep giving him everything, no matter the cost. I'm so thankful that that that God saved my life, that God decided not to let me die in my rebellion and in my sin. I'm so thankful. So yeah, that's just a little bit of my testimony. So thank y'all for being here. Um, I'm just gonna keep on keeping on until Jesus returns.