Breath, Tone, and the Art of Not Sounding Boring with Bailey Massey - 321

Hello, you are watching and listening to Sarah Archer and episode 321 of The Speaking Club podcast. And I want to open this show with a quote from author Diana Hardy: It only takes one voice at the right pitch to start an avalanche. I started this podcast for 2 reasons: because I want to help people recognise the power of stories and humour in speaking, and Because I believe it's your message that counts, not the number of ums and ahs you use. There are some organisations that want to create robot speakers. They want you to sacrifice your personality in order to speak perfectly. I want to let you know that you can be yourself and a sensational speaker. So if you want to be a speaker that connects and engages authentically through stories, a speaker that gives value as well as a great performance, Then welcome home. Hey, welcome to the show!

How are you?

I'm very well. It is very warm in the UK right now, and I'm enjoying the hot weather.

I'm fortunate because I live by the coast, so there's a bit of a breeze that I get here.

But you know what, tomorrow I'm off up the smoke, as we call London, and I can't say that I'm looking forward To going on the Tube, which is the underground train system that runs underneath London. And I want you to imagine if London was a person, then the Tube would be the sweaty armpit of said person. And unfortunately, because I am short and the Tubes are often full, what that means is that I'm actually adjacent to a number of real-life sweaty armpits. But you know what?

I'm braving it all.

I'm heading to London, to our nation's capital, to go to the Speaker Summit and the Speaker Awards, and I'm really excited actually. As you know, I've mentioned in the last episode that I was a judge, and I know that there is going to be a lot of great speakers there, some tips and insights that I'm going to pick up to share with you. In upcoming episodes and with the people that I work with. So, um, yeah, really excited about that. I'm also running an Ask the Expert panel on how to create an experience for your audience, and obviously I'm going to share some of that stuff with you in upcoming episodes too. But let's not talk about the future when we've got an amazing show for you today. Now, As you may all know, as a speaker, your voice is one of the most important tools that you've got, and this episode is all about unleashing your voice. And if you can use your voice in the best way possible, then it's really going to make an impact on your speaking and also the audience. And this isn't just about sounding nice, because your voice is also a signal to your audience About your confidence, about your clarity around the message, and also your credibility. And, you know, whether you've got it or whether you haven't. So, um, I was chuffed to bring on my guest today, Bailey Massey, who started out as a speech therapist, but got into, uh, living in California and ended up working with actors and became a voice and dialect coach. And she's— yeah, she's helped many actors, and execs find their vocal power without losing their authenticity, which, you know, is a big thing for me. And she's worked with clients who felt that their accent was holding them back, leaders struggling to be taken seriously, and speakers who were unintentionally sabotaging their message with vocal habits that they didn't even know they had. So I've got Bailey on to bring a refreshing and practical approach to voice work, and in this conversation she's going to break down what makes a voice sound trustworthy, what you should do about fixing your accent, and why developing your voice might be the missing link to show your expertise in the right way on stage. So if you want to communicate the best version of yourself, whether it's on stage, on a meeting, a virtual meeting, or on a video, then listen up because there are gems in this here episode for you. Without further ado, let's head over to my chat with Bailey Massey.

Welcome to The Speaking Club, Bailey Massey.

Thank you. I'm so excited to chat with you.

Yeah, I'm excited to chat with you too. Now we're kind of in the same field, but you have a bit of a specialism, which I think I'm really excited to dig into, which is around mostly about voice and dialect and all that good stuff. And one of the things that I know that you've said in the past is that all communication starts with breathing. And why do you think that breath is so important for clear, confident speech?

Yeah, I do say that a lot. A couple of reasons. First is just the basic Scientific side of it in that we need it to live. We need it to just activate our vocal folds and even just make sound. We also need it to think clearly to figure out what we wanna say. So there's just the scientific side of it, but then there's also the control side of being able to use the breath effectively to make sure that what we are thinking and what we want to be coming out is actually what other people are hearing. And it, like, if I had showed up today and was not using my breath and just Said, hi, Sarah, it's so great to see you. Um, it would be a terrible conversation. It'd be really hard to get stuff across. So I think in order to have that control, to know what you want to deliver, you have to just be prepared and have what you need internally to get the message external.

Cool. And I noticed you mentioned it in that answer, and it also comes across on your website as well, this, the pairing of science with the art stuff. Why do you, why are you so keen to make that reference clear to people to bring that in?

Yeah, I think that's just my background. I started as a speech therapist and so I just happened to start my practice as a speech therapist somewhere in Los Angeles and Hollywood, right where all the action was happening and had a mentor who was like, hey, let's, do accent dialect work, voice work, all of that. So my background is just all things brain related and the anatomy, physiology. So I can't just do things just because. I need to make sure that there is a reason and that it works so that there's a science to it and more people are able to benefit.

Cool. So when, when it comes to the words tried and tested, that is, is, is applying to you. That's a big thing for you. Okay, cool.

Right, good.

Thank you for sharing that.

Sure.

Now, what is the biggest misconception about accent training? Do we get rid of accents? Do we reshape them? I know I've got clients who are concerned about their accent. I think it's actually interesting, but good to get your, your sort of take on this.

Yeah. And I would say the biggest misconception is that it's something that needs to be hidden or Done away with.

Mm-hmm.

And unless you are somebody who is an actor who needs to sound like you were born and raised in Ohio, you do not need to completely get away from it because it is such an important part of who people are, where they come from, their experiences. So my perspective on it is much more of the goal should be clarity. And as long as you can be understood within the community that you are in, the company you're in, whoever it is that you need to communicate with, that's where the goal should be. So highlighting and addressing Wherever things fall apart, maybe it's a couple single words, maybe it's the rhythm, but not thinking that it needs to disappear.

Yeah, I think that's my feeling as well, because I think it brings flavour and like you said, authenticity into the mix. And I would imagine it's pretty tough to be authentic and try and mask something that is kind of part of you. So, yeah. Now you talked briefly there about actors and stuff. As a performer myself, I was just like, ding, ding, ding. So I've had to do accents in the past. Have you trained people to do different accents?

Yeah, that is so much fun because it's really the same process, but instead of working with somebody to adopt the stand— for me, Standard American English dialect, it's okay, so you're going to sound Jamaican, you're going to sound like you're from the South. In the US, you're gonna sound like you're from Australia, like wherever it is. It's just taking their sides, their audition, their lines, whatever, and just swapping the sounds around and teaching them how to do that.

Did you get into that through— you mentioned you were in LA. Would you have gone down that route if you hadn't have been in LA, do you think? Or—

Oh, probably not. It was very much the mentor that I had and the fact that we were there and a lot of the clients were actors who either needed to get rid of or build on an accent. So, it's something that I don't do it a ton, but I always have somebody here or there that we're working on something, and it tends to be like a quick thing where it's like, oh my gosh, I have an audition tomorrow. I need to sound like this. And it's just, it's so fun. Yeah, I've had that.

We need you to do a self-tape for tomorrow and you need to have an American accent. And then I'm like, oh my goodness. All right, I'll go and listen to loads of— now I know where to come. Um, is there anyone that hasn't got it? Like just either cannot get the accent? Because I've seen a lot of actors, not a lot, a few who have got a terrible either British accent or American accent. And you're just like, you didn't do enough work on that. Or maybe they just couldn't get it.

So I think there's a couple parts to this. I think that one, a lot of the time when I see the breakdown on an audition where it says general American, general British, and And it's like, okay, it's just, let's see where we go with this because general means nothing. So part of it is like poor guidance, uh, but then the other part of it is there are truly some people whose ears really fight them. Like going back to the science of it all, we all, you know, I can't sing to save my life. I can hear dialects and sounds and all of that, but not a great singer. Uh, so there's that ear training. And so some people just really, really struggle with it and For whatever reason, the native sounds, their brain thinks they're doing them favors and it's just like, oh, you think you're saying cat? Nope, we're changing that. We're going to do cot and switch it, like, and they don't even realize half the time. So it's, it kind of depends. So some people really, really struggle and other people are able to bypass that and really focus more on the placement and the feel as opposed to what their ear is hearing.

Interesting. I like the different ways to skin a cat. Now, voice and dialect coaching, as we've been talking about, has often been seen as kind of a theatrical thing, but it applies to business leaders and speakers. Can you share why it's so important in that sphere too?

Yeah, I think the biggest is technology. The fact that technology has allowed us to be such a global society where you could be— I could be sitting right here in Colorado and talking with someone in Japan. I could be talking with someone in India, and we have such diverse teams within corporations that it's important that everybody understands. So, not even diving into the cultural differences and how to merge and understand that side of things, but just the clarity. Like, if you can't get the point across in the way that it's understood, that you're trusted, you can't move forward. So, it's really helpful not only for leaders to be able to communicate with their teams, but also to have somebody trust you, to invest in your company, like your idea. Doesn't matter how great the idea is if nobody gets it.

That's really interesting because I wanted to ask about the way that your voice can shape how approachable people feel you are, how trustworthy people feel that you are. Could you give us a glimpse into, you know, the things that don't work in that and do work? So, what tips and things to avoid in order to make your voice sound trustworthy and approachable? Yeah.

So, first I think is trying not to fake anything or force anything because that's quite obvious. And even if you're good at it for a little bit, you can't sustain that. So, Finding a way to make it genuine. Another part is stopping your voice, like listen a little bit more, be a more, be more aware of the reactions that you get. Like right now you just nodded your head, so I'm like, okay, she's following along. If you kind of gave me a weird look, I'd be like, okay, she's not following along, and I could adjust. So I think there's that, that listening component, that awareness. And then from there, Figuring out how your voice is received. So making sure that I'm not saying, hi, how you doing? Where it sounds like, ugh, like whatever, here we go. Even if inside I think I'm saying, hey, how's it going? I'm so excited to talk to you, but my voice might not convey that. So needing to know what goes wrong, but then if it does go wrong often, finding ways to soften, add a little bit more breath, stretch those vowels a little bit so that it sounds a little bit more warm and has a curious tone as opposed to an accusatory or something that's just sharp And short and doesn't sound welcoming.

Yeah.

That's really interesting. Have you heard, I dunno if it's a term that's in America as well as in the UK, but have you heard the term resting bitch face?

Oh yes. It's very much here.

Yes.

It makes me think like some people might have like a resting bitch voice.

You know what? Yes. Oh my gosh. And I'm so glad you said that. I'm gonna share that with a couple clients who are struggling with resting bitch voice.

Yeah, I just, that just occurred to me. I was like, oh yeah. So, which kind of leads me into like, some people do have a monotone or like downward dragging delivery. And it is so important to, from my perspective as a speaker at a speaking occasion and from yours as well, no doubt, like to treat your voice as an instrument and a tool when you are communicating to people. And if people do have that, like, can we just go a little bit deeper? You said a few things there, like stretching vowels and stuff like that, but could you give a few, a little bit more insight how people, A, do they, how can they notice it for themselves? Because sometimes we've got blind spots as well. We don't, I mean, I guess the listening and the response is one thing, but definitely, yeah, some more on this would be really useful because I know that I've seen a lot of it with some speakers.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, I guess first in terms of building that awareness, because you don't know what to fix until you know what's going wrong. So ask. We have people all around us. You could pop on and talk to somebody through Zoom. Ask those questions. Hey, when I'm saying this, please be real with me. How am I sounding? What is the message you're getting? Get that feedback or record yourself and send it to somebody, because if you're not identifying it and recognizing it, somebody else probably will. And then that gives you a goal.

Mm-hmm.

To actually move towards. So first, getting good information on what to change. And then the second component, things to think about, is creating space in your mouth, literally. So if I had my mouth really small right now, my voice is getting flatter and it's gonna be more monotone, more just flat. But as soon as I open my mouth, there's more room for the sound to resonate, for it to change. It becomes more dynamic. And it creates that movement. It also is going to make it sound a little bit slower and controlled, and it's going to give it just a lighter, more pleasant sound than if I'm really tight and short altogether.

That's cool. And I guess I'm just recalling as well, you know, there's always the people in sales that, especially when they're talking to people who are on the telephone a lot, that say, smile. Because it affects the tonality of your voice. From your perspective, do you think that's a reasonable thing to do or is it a fallacy?

I absolutely think that helps. I think if we break down how much the words we're using, the tone we're using, our body language, I mean, even as simple as I kind of just slouched my whole body and like everything gets it again, it's structural. Like my lungs are collapsing. My Breath isn't gonna be as big as opposed to having everything open and being able to project. But also, if your mouth is flat and you're kind of looking down and really small, it sounds that way.

Yeah.

So really like thinking about how do I wanna sound? Because it's really hard to sound sad if you have a smile. It's also really hard to sound joyful and positive and encouraging if you're like incredibly flat with your face and miserable. So it all really goes together.

Interesting.

The other thing that just came to me was around, I don't know why, like wines, you know, when the wines are described as like fruity or, you know, warm tones and stuff like that. I think like that's, you know, if your voice was a bottle of wine, how would people describe it?

Oh, mother of a smile, eh?

That might be a sort of, if you want to get some feedback on your voice, but maybe in a, like a playful way that people feel comfortable, maybe ask them to do that. I don't know. What do you think? That might be something for people to try.

That would be really fun. I like that. I am definitely not very cultured when it comes to wine. I will drink anything red, but I'm sure some people, I have some friends who could really give you a good description.

Excellent. There's some fun ways to get feedback on your voice, but I think tone is such, you know, I talk about pitch. Pace, volume, tone is so important in terms of attitude. Like you said, like, especially for leaders with teams, how you, how you come across will absolutely affect how your team feels with each other as well as with you. Because you actually, they say set the tone. And I don't know what you think. It's just, yeah, it's so important.

Yeah, and I think tone can be viewed in so many different ways because we have the tone of it in the culture of an organization, but then you have the tone of literally how your voice is coming across, but it should never be an extreme, and it should also never be completely stuck in one place because we do need to be aware of, you know, read the room, know your audience. In some situations, you can be more casual and just, hey, how's it going? In other situations, you're going to need to be a little bit more together, more organized, more structured. And, you know, is it a humorous tone? Is it more serious? Where, where are those going? And you need to be able to, be able to balance and have a range that you're comfortable in so that you're not all of a sudden being like, hello everybody, it is so— where you're like obviously fake and not comfortable there. So that balance, that zone is really important to find and have a feel for it so that it can be genuine.

And it's, and it, and it does really feel like if you can get control over your voice and be intentional, not fake, but intentional for situations, it can really affect your own confidence, but also the, your, your authority, your brand, and all of that stuff as well.

Yeah, absolutely. I refer to it as it's not fake, it's strategic. Because yeah, many people struggle with— because it's a little bit different, it feels uncomfortable, it requires some vulnerability to be able to like change the way you're speaking. It's such a personal thing, so people get very resistant and uncomfortable, but reframing the perspective of how they're approaching it really helps as well to be able to find how they can be present and genuine in their interpretation of what's coming out.

Yeah, definitely. And I think also if people, like anyone listening that's thinking perhaps down this route that it's fake or whatever, you know, I think that anytime you learn a skill like time management, if you go from being disorganized and you learn time management and suddenly you are a better manager, leader, you know, team member for being, you know, organized and whatever, this is the same thing. It's a business skill. That you need to work on in order, especially as you move up the corporate ladder and you're required to communicate more. It's something that you absolutely need to train and invest in as much as any other, you know, skill that you use in the workplace. So, yeah, it's important.

I agree. I feel like there's not a single problem that can't be at least made a little bit better with better communication.

Yeah, absolutely. And we're on the same page there. That's for sure. Okay. Now let's talk a little bit about vocal projection. And this again is something else that applies to people that are speaking as part of their job and also speakers who are filling big spaces or need to fill big spaces. Obviously, people are mic'd up, but nevertheless, what's your view here? What's your go-to techniques for this stuff?

Yeah, so I guess first I would say if you are mic'd up, which is always, especially in a large space, better for your vocal folds and health-wise. But if that's the case, just make sure that you have the right distance so that you don't have to do anything other than what you would do across the table from a good friend to get comfortable and be in your normal voice. In terms of when there is that projection that is needed in a very, very large room, From that, I would say there is the space that you need to create in order to have that breath coming through to make the air change. I always give the analogy of you would never see a stage actor saying Romeo Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo? Their mouth is gonna be big and projecting. So the space, I think there is the making sure that there is the stretch in the voice so that you the airflow is actually coming through. And then the third part of that would be the delay. delivery of not trying to say all of your things all at once on one breath and then running out and fizzling. So really breaking up, having more space to take those breaths continually, just piece by piece by piece. You can say as many things as you want, but you need to have the replenished breath as you go.

Oh, that's really, that's really cool. I had my pic— a picture in my head of You know, you, you don't know if you are on LinkedIn much, but sometimes on LinkedIn you can see these posts that are like someone's just written one paragraph of like a page and it's kind of like that, but for your voice, like, you know, almost think about how this is going to be delivered in the same way almost you would consider constructing a written message in order for it to land with your audience. So yeah, that's really cool.

Yes. I always call that thinking, start to think in bullet points. Because if you can think in the isolated pieces, not only does that clear your brain, get rid of a lot of the filler words, but it's also really great to, okay, I'm breathing and doing the next thing and maintaining it. It just gives so much more control.

Absolutely. Now we have talked about technology and Zoom. Now I get accused often by my other half of shouting on Zoom like some old person. No offence, old people, but that's what they say about me. What have you got advice-wise for when we're doing virtual talks or virtual presentations?

Yes. So, I would say, try to talk to your computer, the boxes in front of you, as if it's just a person. You wouldn't want to scream at them. So, in terms of voice there, but I would say the The Zoom world, the virtual world tends to make it feel— things feel distant, and it's easy to become flat and monotone, especially if you're staring at a whole bunch of black boxes with no faces, and you're not getting feedback. So what I always encourage people to do is to envision the perfect audience. Like, who is somebody that loves to talk with you, who like leans in and is so interested, and speak to that person. Throughout the whole time. If you don't have those people giving you feedback, interacting, that's who you're talking to because then your voice is going to have that, oh, they care, they're interested, that motivation behind it, as opposed to that, oh my God, I need to hurry up and be done because everybody hates this. Do they think that was funny? Do they get it? I don't know. Because you, you just can't even start to second-guess yourself.

Absolutely. That's one of the worst things you can do is go into that critical second-guessing and then you've made up a whole story about what people are thinking about you and it's put you right off. So yeah, that's really cool. One other thing I used to do, especially when we were sort of transitioning into this world, was put a dot on where my camera is on the screen. But I was just thinking like we could level it up and actually get a photograph of the person that we like, you know, like a passport-sized photo and put that there.

Oh, yeah.

As a reminder, that'd be so cool. I like that. Have a picture of your favourite person.

Yeah.

Good. Excellent.

Yeah. Brilliant.

Okey-doke. Next question. Okay. How, we've kind of covered it a little bit, and, but maybe from a speaker angle, we need to just check this one off. How can speakers identify and tweak vocal habits that might be undermining their message? Yeah.

So yes, we definitely kind of chatted about how adding an outside eye, an outside ear is really going to help with that. So finding somebody, but also if you feel like, okay, I know how I do. I know what's— maybe I've already identified the goals, and I'm on that path towards making progress, record yourself. We have cell phones with great cameras. We have Zoom where we could make it look like we're practicing the work meeting. Record yourself, watch it back, even though for most people it feels very painful to have to watch yourself.

Cringe.

Yeah, exactly. But do it because then you're gonna become your own self-coach, and you're gonna be able to identify what you're doing well, what you're not, and we do tend to be most critical to ourselves. So, you're going to notice something if you have that goal in mind already.

Yeah, definitely. So, I think we need to, might need to pair this with something that I once heard, which is be your own best friend whilst you're doing this as well. That's cool. Yeah. Recording yourself is such an important part of the process as a speaker, just because, you know, there are things that we do that we don't, besides the voice, Actions, body language, all of that stuff. We've got tics, which, you know, we want your personality to come across, but if it's like you said earlier, if anything becomes distracting to the audience, then we need to address it, I think. So, yeah. Which leads me into, when you start working with someone who is new to dialect work, what would be the blueprint? How would you approach Working with them?

Yeah, so I always start with recognizing goals, so figuring out what they want, why those are their goals, what are the pain points that they've had. I then expand onto what is their learning style, like, are they somebody that can really hear it? Probably not, otherwise they wouldn't need to come to me, they'd be able to do it on their own. So are they a visual learner? Do they really need to do things repetitively? Like, what type of practice works for them? So I ask a lot of questions to get an idea of that, and it, it changes over time. And then from there, I do quick little assessments of how are they pronouncing words, where are the big inter— where's the interference, what are the sounds or the changes or the rhythm that is getting in the way. And from there, I can establish a plan of what sounds we want to change, what patterns we want to work on. And really, it tends to be more rhythm-focused that gets in the way, because once they slow down, have control, are sequencing things, are putting emphasis in certain places to no importance and having that flow, the accent doesn't seem to be as big of a deal in terms of the sound changes. So I'll work on that, and then we just build, expand in controlled conversation and practice, and then eventually, oh, what do you have to present on next week? Let's use that. Let's practice that. Let's role-play a networking meeting. So whatever their goal is, we then just tailor the language and the communication to Excellent.

Cool. That's really, that's really good. And do you find like there's a lot of people that have a lack of confidence around their voice? Is it, is it a common thing, do you think?

Yes. And this is actually one of my favourite things is that it's, I can't tell somebody your accent is fine. You just need to work on slowing down, controlling, because unfortunately there is The, oh no, I shouldn't have this accent, where it's like, no, you should, and it's totally fine, but there does tend to be a slight negative thought to it often, and so people really want to address that. And my favorite is that over time, we're see— I'll be working with people and we're making a couple adjustments to the clarity, but then they start to have control and awareness of what they're doing, and they'll say something to me like, You know, I realized my accent's not really the big issue and I'm like, yeah, subscriber there. Oh great, we have made it there. And then it becomes like, okay, it is the control, it is the message framing and organization and like, yes, there's some sounds we might need to change, but moving forward with just the clear messaging.

Cool. And can you give me a sort of a success story where someone with your dialect help, you know, basically they've shifted and got new opportunities as a result.

Yeah, I think in addition to what I just shared, which I find to be my favourite success because there's that true confidence there, there's also so many people that they're working with me because they want to get a job. They're having trouble interviewing because they can't connect with somebody. They really want to get a promotion, but they need to connect with their team. They need to show that they can Be effective when they're pitching their idea or sharing information with clients. And so when they're able to reach that goal that they have set, feel confident in going forward with that, and be able to not only achieve it, but also develop friendships, because I encourage people to communicate with their team. So the relationships that they build internally and externally within their workplace is so helpful for them. And then they also feel part of that community, which is also a huge component for somebody. Obviously, if they have an accent, they definitely didn't grow up next door to all the people they're working with. So, it helps for that understanding.

Breaking down any cultural or barriers and other assumptions.

Yeah.

Excellent. That's really, it must be quite uplifting to have someone, you know, especially like not being able to get a job because you can't, or you feel you can't, or maybe People said they don't understand you or something like that. And making that shift must just be game complete, you know, so many opportunities, so, so much confidence as a result. Must be brilliant. I love it.

It is so much fun to see the progress and I cheer and celebrate and I'm like, please tell me how everything is going because I truly am so invested. It's so fun to see the change and the progress that comes with it. Yeah.

And I guess the more that we have global companies, global teams, remote working, this does become more important for organisations and for anyone that sort of wants to move up or, you know, elsewhere in an organisation to absolutely feel confident that they're getting understood where they need to be. Yeah, absolutely.

Cool.

Okey-doke. Now, I've asked you all the questions that I had planned. If there's 3 things that you want to share with people about how they can improve their voice, what would those 3 things be?

So I would say being able to first understand the goals. So take some time and really think about where you are.

Mm-hmm.

Then I would say the whole calming yourself, taking your time, creating some space. Don't try to rush it. Change takes time. And then talking out loud. So we tend to get stuck in our heads for so many reasons, but it's oftentimes whether before a big meeting or a presentation that people are thinking and thinking and thinking and rehearsing internally. And the more that people can get comfortable with hearing their voice and getting things out, not only are they going to feel more in control in doing so, but they're also practicing and creating those neural pathways of where that message is gonna go from start to finish. So they don't have to have that panic of like, oh my gosh, what if I forget? You're not gonna forget. You've already said it. So never have the first time you're practicing that voice or that change or that delivery be in a high-stakes situation, but get comfortable and Talk in the car, talk in the shower, talk as much as you can.

That's brilliant. That's brilliant. And it's one thing that it brought up for me, and I think this is something that I read from one of the sort of testimonials on your site, was around someone who really struggled. And it, this is how with a lot of people is the same, doing video, live video, anything like that. Do you find that coming up an awful lot for people?

In terms of having to record themselves?

Yeah.

Like doing, I don't know if you're a coach or consultant or something like that, or a speaker and you wanna record, or you're doing a live or something like that. I find people find video so intimidating. And we've talked about one tactic around making it, you know, to a best friend or your favorite person. Is there anything else that you've seen come up and that you've coached people on to help them with this?

Yeah. So I think with the filming, it feels uncomfortable because it's not another human. So there's that aspect, but I think it becomes, if you can, actually, I'm gonna rewind for a second. I'm gonna use myself as an example for this and what I had to take my own advice for, which is always the hardest thing to do. So I, Broke down and I was like, okay, I have to do social media. Ugh, I hate it. So I was like, people need to know that I'm a real person, that I exist. I need to film myself. And the first time I did it, I showed it to my husband and he was like, I love you, but this is terrible.

Oh, nice.

And I was like, why? And he's like, this isn't you. Like, this isn't you at all. This is like a very like overly forced, like, like just Talk, talk to it. And so I had to really think about, okay, how can I just be me? And so what I did is I practiced and I would have conversations by myself with the intention of what that was. And so I got, had to get comfortable with it. And it, you know, maybe it's, I'm doing my hair and I'm having a conversation and I would practice those things so that I can then sit down in front of the camera and just do those. It's kind of like a muscle memory thing where you flip a switch and you're that version of you, and then you can, okay, and now I'm done with that, and move on. So I think know what you need, get comfortable in it, turn it on, and then let it go. But it's just a very diff— we're not supposed to talk to screens. We're supposed to talk to people. So it's hard, and don't— give yourself some grace. Don't feel bad about it, and just find your way there.

I love that. That's some really good advice there. Thank you for sharing that. Now, I'm going to come back in a little bit to talk about your website, where people can find you if they want to book you to work one-to-one or with an organisation. But first, I have some standard questions to ask you, Bailey. The first one is, what has speaking, what's the best thing that speaking has done for you?

It has shown me or taught me things that I never even wanted to learn about, and in terms of the clients that I get to work with, but it has also forced my incredibly Type A personality to be flexible and go in directions that I did not ever think I was going in. And it is lovely and it's so fun.

Oh, brilliant. I like that it's pushed you. Out of your comfort zone as well as pushing other, helping to get other people outside of their comfort zone. Cool. And let's talk about speaking gigs. Has there been a gig that you've done, an event that you've done where it didn't go to plan, things went wrong? Has that happened to you? And what did you do afterwards?

Yeah. So, knock on wood. So far, nothing has been catastrophic. Uh, I think there's definitely times where I stumble on something, make a mistake, say the wrong thing, need to fix it, but I don't view those as detrimental, awful things. And if anything, the little mistakes that I've made or the, oh man, why did you say it that way type of a thing, I just look at that as, okay, well, next time don't. Next time, do that differently. And so thankfully nothing has been terrible, but the little things, they're just ways to tweak. But also, I also tell my clients this all the time, you're gonna make mistakes. If you make it a huge big deal and you're like, oh my God, I'm so sorry, and like draw attention to it, it's gonna be a bigger mistake. But if you just, well, whoops, that happened, and carry on, nobody's remembering that 8 seconds later. So I try to give myself that grace as well. And as long as the majority of it goes well and I have addressed what that organi— the organizer, the team, whoever it is that I'm speaking to has asked me to prepare and communicate with them, I have done it. And could it be better? Of course. But am I gonna beat myself up about any little things? No, that's not helpful.

Good. I like that. And it is about failing forward, or maybe not even failing, but just, you know, falling, you know, tripping up slightly forward. And I think the other thing is that it is true, to err is human. And in a world that's increasingly fake, that it's good to have some, some human on there. And it is just like, hey, it's, it's not even about styling it out. It's just move like you know it. But they don't know it. And that's the biggest thing, isn't it? Your audience doesn't know exactly what you're meant to say or what you were meant to do at that point. So, you can just move on with grace, but just mentally sort of do it next time. So, yeah, cool. Okay. What is the book that's had most impact on your life and why?

Oh gosh. This is so hard. Because I read a lot. I'm in 3 book clubs. Um, um, oh man. Okay, so this is like asking for a favorite child. Um, I'm just gonna share some of my favorites, my top, my top favorites, and I'll share a statement or 2. So one of my favorites is, and they're not nonfiction self-help books, but they're ones that have made me really think and they have that human component that I think is so important. So one is All the Light You Cannot See. Oh, I love that one.

Yeah.

Because there is the communication back and forth and stress and different, very, very different lifestyles and existence. And so the communication that comes from that, but also just the beauty that it comes from finding some sort of a similarity. I love that. And then I would say another one that is one of my favorites, is actually, it's a recent one, is Project Hail Mary.

Okay.

A new one, and Ryan Gosling's gonna be in the movie. So super fun. But it is also, it's kind of the world is about to end and somebody has to save the world, but there's also this really beautiful human connection piece to it, and also not human connection piece to it, that is Strangely Human. And I don't wanna give any spoilers because there's a movie coming out, but it is just very beautiful and has a wonderful human message to it. So, I like things that connect people and feel real.

Cool. I will look that one up 'cause I haven't read that one.

Listen to it. Do the audiobook. It's way better.

Oh, really?

Okay, cool. I will do that.

I will do that.

Is that it?

Any others?

I mean, how much time do we have? Because I could keep going on and picking the favourites, but—

No, that's cool. We'll put links in the show notes to those ones, but no, thank you for sharing. I also, I just love books and yeah, I just love the way that they open up worlds in ways that movies sometimes can't for you because there is that imagination that's going on and—

You see it in your own. personally relates more in your own mind. Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. Cool. Okay. Next question. What's the best bit of business advice you've had and why?

The best advice I got was to find a team, ask questions, never try to assume that you've got it. And I think that we have so much information available to us all the time, but it's hard to piece through it. And so what I started, because I think I mentioned I did not plan on going in this direction, it just happened, and here I am, and I have not gotten where I am by assuming that I know best or just pushing forward saying, well, I read something and I know what to do. I have talked to so many people and asked so many questions and have been okay with not knowing. And Seeking somebody that does. So building a community of people that support me and encourage me, but also can guide me and call me out, like my husband, for example. That was terrible. Sometimes you need to hear that. So the establishing a team around you, even if you are the only person in your business, you can create a community.

I love that. And I think there's not enough of that that goes around. That And there's a kind of humility there, but likelihood is that you've grown faster and further because you've had that attitude than someone who thinks that they know it all. Which is, it's lovely to hear. And, oh, there was something that I had in my mind then, but it's gone. Maybe it'll come back around Oh yeah. So there's, there's this thing which is around, don't ask how, ask who. I think there's even a book called that.

Okay.

Which, which feels like that's the attitude that you've sort of embodied here, um, where, where there are things that you've needed to shift into that you haven't always had the answers for, but I love that. So thank you for, for sharing that and being, you know, vulnerable enough to share That's great.

Of course.

Great. Okay. Last question. If you could have one mentor and they can be alive or dead, fictional or non-fictional, who would you choose and why?

In terms of mentors, I really have approached my entire life in that every single person that I meet is a version of a mentor in the sense that there is something in everybody that I can admire, and then there's probably something in everybody that I could say, I don't want to do that. And so I, in every interaction that I have, like, I try to be really present and aware. And so I think that I have a world full of mentors just because I really take a lot out of every interaction that I have. So I couldn't even pick one of them that was the best because I definitely have benefited from every single conversation and interaction and relationship.

That's brilliant. That's brilliant. Okay. I'm going to ask if, I'm going to ask this slightly differently then. Okay. If you could pick anyone to have a one-to-one, to have an interaction with that you haven't yet, who would that be?

Let's see. I would, I would pick Susan B. Anthony.

Okay.

And I think that would be because I, in what I'm doing, I have, obviously I'm a woman, and there's been situations where I have felt like, grrr, very frustrated by things. And I think that I admire the people who have come before me and the fight that they have done. And so, I think it would be really interesting and inspiring to sit down and just be like, how did you keep pushing through? How did you do what you did? Uh, and just listen to the source of her resilience and what pushed her forward.

Cool.

Thank you.

That's brilliant. That's brilliant. I love, I loved your first answer. I think it's really refreshing, but I also wanted to push and just see where we could get to.

Force me to make a choice. Do you see how hard that is?

There you go. But well, she, she, yeah, you never know. You never know. It's good. That's good. Brilliant. Well, look, Bailey, thank you so much for coming onto the show, for sharing honestly, openly, authentically, and powerfully about the voice. And what you can do with it to make you a better leader, a better speaker, a better communicator, and also that you don't have to get rid of your accent. It can be a source of strength and it also can help you stand out as well, I think. So, thank you for sharing all of that. Of course. If people want to work with you, find out more about what you do, where is the best place for them to go?

Yeah. So probably my website, which is baileymasseyglobal.com. Everything in terms of the social media platforms I am on, the scheduling links, the testimonials, all the services I provide, information about me. It's, it's all there.

Excellent.

So baileymasseyglobal.com. We'll put a link in the show notes to that. Just, are you on LinkedIn as well?

I am. So I'm on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, all the things, all the things. Okay.

All the things. Cool. Excellent. Well, thank you so much again for coming on. I really appreciate it. And I wish you the best of luck with everything that you're up to.

Thank you so much. It has been so lovely to talk with you.

Likewise.

Well, what did you think of that? There were some great tips there.

And do you know what I'm really chuffed about?

Is that Bailey agreed that if you have an accent, it can actually be a strength and not a weakness. And I have had multiple clients of mine who worry about this, and as long as people can understand you clearly, right, and, and obviously you're using the language in the right way, then having an accent can actually make you stand out, make you more memorable, more exotic, if you like. So, don't see it as a disadvantage, see it as a superpower. So, I hope that you did find some great tips and there's lots, I think, to put into practice here and if you had an aha, then do go and let Bailey know. She's all over the place, as she said, all over the socials and do also check out her website, and other resources if you want to go deeper into working with your voice. So all there's left for me to say is thank you so much again for choosing to watch or listen to the Speaking Club podcast. If you're watching and you enjoyed the show and you haven't yet subscribed, it'd be amazing if you did that. And if you want to leave a comment below, leave some feedback or ideas for future episodes, then I'm open for that. And if you're listening on a podcast, I really appreciate you. And if you didn't mind taking 2 minutes to leave a rating or review, which you can do over at ratethispodcast.com/tsc, that'd be amazeballs. Or you can do it wherever you're listening to the podcast— Amazon Music, Spotify, wherever, all the good podcast apps. But yeah, it's great to have you listen to the show. Really appreciate you choosing to listen to the Speaking Club, and I will see you and speak to you next time. But in the meantime, you know what I'm gonna say? Don't forget to go out, grab your life by the nuts, and get cracking.

Bye-bye!

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