In this episode of The Speaking Club Podcast, Sarah Archer explains why speakers should avoid dramatizing emotions and instead focus on evoking them in the audience. She identifies common pitfalls—over‑acting, naming emotions, and trying to make the audience feel a specific feeling—and shows how these tactics can alienate listeners. Archer introduces the concept of emotional layers and guides listeners through reflective questions to uncover authentic feelings and the concrete behaviours that followed those feelings. She demonstrates how to replace emotion labels with vivid, relatable actions (e.g., “sat in the car for 45 minutes” instead of “I was devastated”). The episode outlines storytelling tools such as pacing, silence, contrast, and humor, likening the speaker to an orchestra conductor who leads the audience on an emotional journey. Real‑world examples from RAF pilot Jon Peters and actor Andrew Garfield illustrate how powerful, understated storytelling can evoke deep audience responses. Archer stresses the need for sufficient distance from the event and the value of an external director to shape moments where speakers unintentionally tell the audience what to feel. She promotes her in‑person two‑day “Stagecraft to Show Real Experience” workshop, detailing its structure, dates, and outcomes, and also offers a free “Blank Page to Stage” guide to help experts craft compelling talks quickly. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to subscribe, review, and apply the techniques.
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Saying, I was devastated, in an overly dramatic voice will turn your audience off. But sharing, I had to sit in the car for 45 minutes before I could go back in, puts them right there with you. A lot of speakers feel that they've got to perform or name an emotion. Because they're scared the audience won't get it, but naming and performing emotions are exactly the things that kill the connection. I'm Sarah Archer and this is The Speaking Club Podcast. My mission? To boldly go where no other speaking-related podcast has gone before in helping you to become the highlight of any event you speak at. And land you more gigs. A few weeks back, I was working with a client, and I noticed that whenever they came to one particular section of the talk, they would— it was a poignant moment in the story and in their life— they would go quiet and put on this overly dramatic voice, and it was like she was trying to recreate the emotion that she felt during the conversation that she was sharing about, or more to the point, what she thought the emotion was. But instead of drawing me in, it had the opposite effect. And this is a mistake that I see a lot of speakers make. They think that in order to communicate an upsetting or important experience, they need to relive that emotion for the audience, but instead of connecting the audience to the emotion, it can actually make them feel uncomfortable or awkward. So why do speakers do this? Firstly, I think it's because they're afraid the audience won't get how important the moment was. I also think that they're confusing authenticity with intensity. And lastly, because they care so much about landing the message. The trouble is that these things can show up in lots of ways, like lowering their voice, pausing dramatically, getting tearful, over-explaining or signposting the emotion that they're talking to the audience or trying to share with the audience, and they're acting out of generosity. They want to help the audience, but they end up doing it in the wrong way. And I want to pick on— up on a word I used there: acting. And this is a key distinction because speaking audiences aren't like TV or film or theatre audiences. In those spaces, they are expecting the character to experience something in real time, in the moment, but as a speaker, you are inviting us back to something that's already happened, and they're different disciplines. You're not asking the audience to believe it's happening now, you're inviting them back into that memory. Effectively, you're the narrator, and your job isn't to perform the emotion. Your job is to evoke the emotion in the audience. So whenever I'm working with a speaker or an actor or a comedian, the question I'm asking isn't, how can we make this feel more emotional? I'm asking, What do we have to do to get the audience there? So how do you do this? Well, first we need to talk a little bit about emotions because the first thing to say about emotions is that they have layers, and I wanted to give you an example. I was working with the same client I mentioned at the start of the episode, and she was sharing this story. She'd been out walking her dog a few days before and a truck pulled up alongside her. The guy rolled down the window and beckoned her over. I don't know why I overdid that, he's probably got electric windows to be fair. Anyway, he rolled down the window, pressed the button and beckoned her over. And she'd seen him around But there was something about him that made her body go on high alert, so she walked over and he handed her something and drove off. She smelt what it was before she saw what it was— a bag of dog poo. Now her first emotion was shock and confusion. This was super weird. But then came fear. And she said, I was scared. And I said to her, right, you know, what— because of you feeling scared, what did you do differently? And she said, I haven't walked that same route ever since. And that is the way that you can really convey the emotion of fear Without actually having to name it. But the point I was making here was that we have layers of emotion. It's not like there's one, and, you know, it can be complicated. So how do we get in touch with the authentic emotions, the layers, and the experience that we had? So, a couple of things. First, when you are thinking about a story that you want to share with your audience, I want you to first ask yourself, what did I feel in the moment? What did I feel afterwards? And what do I understand now about that experience? So going through that process will enable you to access the authentic emotions rather than just what you think the emotion should be. Should be. And that's often why it can feel so inauthentic, is because we are performing. It's not, it's not what we really felt at the time. Okay, the next question that will help you find the line that shares the emotion without naming it, allowing the audience to see it for themselves, are these ones. Taking an emotional moment from your talk, or ask yourself this: What— where was I? Who was there? What could I see? What happened next? What did I not say? What did I do differently afterwards? And what tiny details tell the story? And thinking through those things will enable you to get that thing. Did you stop taking a route? Like, My client. Did you avoid calls? Were there rooms that you didn't go into? Or were there sentences you kept replaying over and over in your head? In the nighttime, you maybe you couldn't sleep. These behaviours as a consequence of the emotion become more concrete for the audience. They become more relatable and they enable the audience to complete it for themselves. And if you can find that behaviour, you can really bring it to life for them rather than getting all dramatic or signposting or over-explaining. Okay, so I wanted to give you some examples of what I mean by that line. Okay, instead of saying, I was devastated, you could say, I sat in the car for 45 minutes Before I could go back in. Instead of, I was terrified, I could say, I realised I'd been holding my breath for so long that my chest hurt. Instead of, I was embarrassed, I could say, I spent the next 10 minutes looking at my phone pretending to check it because I couldn't face looking up. And we've all been there, I bet. I know I have. Our big aim, as I said here, right, is to, to say or do something that evokes the emotion in the audience because we need them to see it for themselves, to connect with it themselves. And as a, as a speaker, you're like the conductor of an orchestra. Taking the audience on an emotional journey through your talk, and that's using all the tools that you've got at your disposal. First of all, this concept of behavioural storytelling, you know, showing the behaviours and letting them get the emotion. Pacing, you know, how you pace the words that you say, will create that emotion for the audience. Silence, contrast, you can use unexpected humour too, especially when we're telling a story that's difficult or challenging. Audiences need that light relief. And sometimes also it means speeding up, slowing down, adding a pause to give them space to get it, changing the energy. Or as I said, adding humour to give them relief. But all of this is in service of the audience making the connection themselves, and it's kind of like what comedians do. You know, when I was a comic, I didn't explain jokes. I wanted to lead the audience to see it for themselves. Because the audience enjoys filling in the gap, and in some ways that gives them what the IKEA feeling, you know, where you, you really love a bit of furniture more because you made it yourself. And if you can get the audience to complete it, to get that emotion for themselves, then they will feel like they co-created the moment, and that's when they become more invested, and engaged in you and your message. That's exactly what we want. And I wanted to share some great examples of this so that you could see it for yourselves. Last year, I watched a brilliant talk by a guy called Jon Peters. Now, he was an RAF fighter pilot who was shot down and held hostage for 7 weeks during the Gulf War, and he conveyed the desperation of what he'd been through, the, the torture and everything else, without ever making it feel melodramatic. But the audience was captivated, hanging on his every word. And obviously he told that story many, many times. That was a long time ago, but his delivery was sublime. It was just him on stage, no slides, no theatrics. He recreated that experience for us and evoked the emotions in us without ever losing control himself. And he was exactly like that orchestra conductor, leading the audience through a whole range of emotions in a way that was captivating, surprising, and inspiring. Now, he was interviewed recently on CNN after another pilot was shot down in Iran, and you can get a flavour of what I mean from this clip. Now, I just wanted to give you a quick heads up that in this clip, John does talk about his, uh, time as a hostage, and some of the things that he shares may be triggering Or disturbing. It's not overly graphic or gratuitous, but I just wanted to give you a heads up that it can be difficult to hear. Unfortunately, we can't show that clip due to copyright reasons, but I would encourage you to go to the show notes, click the link, have a look at it so you can see exactly what I'm sharing about, and then come right back to finish listening to the rest of the show. Another lovely example of this is Andrew Garfield. Talking about losing his mum. His emotions are obviously much closer to the surface. It had happened more recently, but notice how calm he is, how he even laughs at points, because he wants the audience to get something from his experience. Remember that 3rd question, what do you understand now? That's the message that he's trying to communicate, and it's an uplifting message. So he tries to share, even though it's emotional, in an uplifting way to get the intention of that emotion across. And it's that contrast that makes it so moving. Unfortunately, we can't show that clip due to copyright reasons, but I would encourage you to go to the show notes Click the link, have a look at it so you can see exactly what I'm sharing about, and then come right back to finish listening to the rest of the show. So I hope you can see from what I've shared already today, those clips, that being able to share an experience in the right way so that you give the audience the space to complete the emotion, to feel it and connect with it themselves, rather than being pushed away by some sort of amateur dramatic idea of the emotion that the— that you should be sharing, is an art. And it also requires, and this is an important point, sufficient distance from the event so that you're able to have that level of detachment. We don't want you losing control and making the audience feel awkward and uncomfortable and upset for you. It's not what you want to be doing as a speaker, so we want to have that distance so that we're able to share it in the right way. And it can be super challenging to get this right. We're often too close to our stuff We need someone to have a look at it and share how we're coming across, or we need someone to facilitate revisiting that emotion to pull out some of those feelings and some of the behaviours that came afterwards or as a result of that experience. And that's where an external director can really help you with these moments. And these, these are exactly the type of things that I'm going to be directing a small group of speakers on at my live Stagecraft to Show Real Experience. It's an in-person 2-day speaker experience. We're going to be looking at the moments in your talk where you're accidentally trying to tell the audience what emotion to feel and replacing them with moments that allow the audience to feel it for themselves. And this isn't about rewriting your talk, it's about directing it, shaping it so that the audience feels more, remembers more, and connects more deeply with you and your message. And then on day 2, a professional filmmaker is going to come in, film the strongest sections of your talk that we've been working on developing, and filming that in front of a live audience. And so you've got real asset of your new shaped keynote that you can use for your speaker showreel, for award entries, or to share with event bookers. So there's a couple of dates, one in September, one in November. I will put the link, it's actually saraharcher.co/keynote. And if you hurry, you'll be able to pick up one of the super early bird prices and get that experience for a song. And I can't wait to work with some of you live. It's brilliant doing the podcast, but if you're able to come to this event and work with me live, it's in the UK by the seaside, lovely, lovely location. And we're going to be working together to absolutely get that talk to be a highlight of the event. So anyway, let's wrap things up. The big message is that when you're sharing emotional stories and moments, remember your job is not to perform the emotion, it's to evoke the emotion in the audience. So next time you're rehearsing a story or you're talk, don't ask, how can I sound more emotional? Ask, what do I need to do to get my audience there? Cool, so that's it from me. Thank you so much for tuning in to The Speaking Club. If you are watching on YouTube, amazing if you subscribe, leave a comment, ask a question, see if, you know, did this resonate with you? Uh, and you know, there's loads of other great videos that we've got to help you on your speaking journey. If you're listening on the podcast app or Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon, it'd be amazing if you could leave a review, rate the podcast so that other people can find it. Um, as always, thanks so much for tuning in. It's been a blast. I look forward to being with you next time. But in the meantime, you know what I'm gonna say. Don't forget to go out, grab your life by the nuts, and get cracking. Bye-bye. It's a nightmare. You're an expert with so much to say, but now that you've been booked to speak, you're struggling to know exactly what to talk about. You want a talk that engages the audience and wins you new clients, without you losing your personality or anyone feeling pitched to. But what happens when you sit down to create that talk is that you end up staring at a blank page for ages, or worse, surrounded by hundreds of sticky notes with content that you could include. With so much material, you just don't know where to start or finish. Don't worry, because many experts like you face exactly the same challenge, and that's why I created the Blank Page to Stage Guide. In just 15 minutes, this breakthrough resource is going to help you identify the big idea of your message, make it relatable for the audience that you're speaking to, and convey it all in a way that gets the audience inspired and on board with your idea. And it works even if you have tons of material or your subject feels less than exciting. If you want to cut through swathes of content and get a talk that you're excited to share, your audience loves, and wins you new clients, then grab your Blank Page to Stage guide from saraharcher.co.uk/newguide-tsc. Oh, I forgot to say, it's completely free. Enjoy!
