You're Not Behind: Here's Why

Bingo and huzzah! We are live. Welcome to Creative on Purpose Live. This is a broadcast dedicated to navigating the intersection of work that matters and the art of living. And I am thrilled to be with my old friend Nick. Not that he's old, I'm old. And Nick and I have been doing some things together for the last, oh, I don't know, 3, 4, 5 years maybe. And I'm excited to see him back. On Substack. He is doing a lot of stuff and things. I'm going to let him catch you up on who he is, what he's been up to, and where you can go to learn more. So Nick, great to collide with you here on Substack again, and tell everyone who you are, what you're up to these days, and where they should go to learn more.

Yeah man, happy to be here. Obviously we've been, uh, like you said, we've been working on stuff for about 4 or 5 years at night. I kind of went, uh, recluse, which I do sometimes, you know. I have this very cyclic nature. And, uh, the whole, the whole mission for me and what I'm doing is how do we, uh, remove suffering from ourselves and others and do it in a way that's not, uh, being a total recluse, that's not, uh unreasonable for others. So I, like, you talk a lot about Stoicism, and at first glance, immediately people are like, oh, that sounds horrible, that sounds like torture. It's not. Uh, and so when you, when you look at like removing suffering from yourself and others and being honest about it, it's like in today's world, for most people, that's going to require a lot of money, right? So we can't, we can't just renounce, we can't be renunciate. Um, and so that's the balance, is saying, okay, how do we, uh, make enough money to pay our bills? Because if we're suffering because we can't pay our electric bill, then we're lying to ourselves. If we're saying, oh, you know, I renounce stuff, I'm happy— you're not. We know you're not because you're suffering. And so it's the— it's this balance between how do we make enough money to do the things we want do in our life? How do we draw a line where we know what is enough? How do we know when we've removed our own suffering enough to focus on other people? Because that's the other thing, right, is, uh, sometimes it's too difficult and we don't want to face what we see in the mirror, so we just start helping other people. And what we're doing is we're causing suffering, we're leaving a wake of destruction behind us. So Uh, most of what I do on the Operator side, a lot of business development and stuff, and on the Gray Wolf side, which is more self-mastery, it's just trying to find that balance, and there's no answer. So, uh, that's what I spend most of my time doing, is just trying to find out, get closer and closer to that balance of how do we, uh, build a business, if that's what you're into, uh, not burn ourselves out, because if we burn ourselves out We're suffering and we're causing suffering. Where's the line between getting what we want, which we should, you know, there's something very real about being honest about what you want and providing enough value to the world to be able to acquire it. Sorry, my dogs, my little wolves are running around like maniacs. So that's what I spend my time doing. And what that looks like is I wrote a lot. I think I published like 12 books in the last couple months. Uh, and the, the goal was to lay down the foundational stuff and try to make it as accessible, deliverable as possible. So a lot of books floating around and now, uh, trying to be as connected to people as possible and do stuff like this again. It's been a couple years since I've been active on interviews and social media and stuff. So that's me. As far as learning more, go to— my recommendation is go to Creative On Purpose, go to the little bookstore, and that's probably where you're going to find the most interesting thing to you because it's Scott's recommendations and you're following him. So I would do that. I would grab a book. Scott Perry has them categorized real nice. And if something resonates or sounds good, buy it. It's like $5, and then, uh, you can follow a rabbit hole from there if you really want to.

Yeah, well, I, I, I will just, uh, first highlight that I have purchased every book that is available to be purchased, uh, on Amazon, and they are all excellent. I have listed the 4 that I recommend based on where a lot of the folks in my community are. So go to the Creative On Purpose bookstore link in the— on the Substack or the website. You'll find some, uh, something that will interest you. And for those of you that are here, I recognize, I see Claire and Jeff, uh, are here. Member— other members of the Circle and Inner Circle community of paid subscribers of the Creative On Purpose Substack will be having a exclusive private Q&A with Nick next Monday at this very time. So if that sounds interesting, go ahead and check out the benefits of joining the Circle or Inner Circle. And I guess I'd like to just pull a little bit, tug on one of the threads that you mentioned, Nick, because it is something that, uh, that I explored in part through through what I was learning from you and back in, in the days of the Arena and the Success Circle. And it's something that I'm unpacking in a book that I'm releasing next month about Stoic philosophy and a Stoic approach to living a good life, or the good life. And it's a word that you mentioned a couple times, and that's, uh, enough. Like, what? I mean, there is, there is the cynic or renunciate view of enough is all you need to do is, is be a virtuous person and you can sell all your possessions and live in a barrel, and, and that is how you live a good life. And then there's the hedonist view of, you know, just avoid all suffering and pain and surround yourself with friends and indulgence. But I have a feeling that you're— the way that you would encourage us to explore our enoughness or sufficiency would be slightly slightly different. What's your, what's your take? And I'll just, I'll just quickly highlight another book that I actually told you was my favorite, and that's the book Small, which I think is a book that is a lot about sufficiency and enoughness.

Yeah. Oh, that's a, that's a complicated— that's a great question, complicated answer. Uh, so if I walked up behind you and knocked you out and you woke up in a warehouse somewhere. Intuitively, you're— the first two things we figure out when we come to is, uh, where am I and what time is it? Like, so that, that's because you can't move, you're paralyzed until you know where you are, what time it is. Now most people don't know where they're at or what time it is, but they're unconscious of that fact. So the first one is Uh, just knowing where you're at and what time it is, meaning where you're at in your life, you know, are you 30, are you 20, are you 60? Uh, so if you can get an honest look at where you're at and what time it is, that's very close to enough, which is weird, right? But that's like, because then you can orient yourself, you have options, you can, you can feel very secure in the fact that, uh Okay, this is how much time I have and this is where I'm at. At least I have a path forward. The second bit is enough is very difficult to find. And until you have found it, in my opinion, what happens is you have a tremendous anxiety. So you're either trying to acquire more stuff. Or you become renunciate. And the problem is, when you become renunciate, most people stop growing. It's kind of an excuse to not contribute or do anything hard. So your growth is done, uh, and more than likely you can lie to yourself your whole life, but you're looking over your shoulder on your deathbed. And that's like the— that's, that's what enough is. Enough is not looking over your shoulder on your deathbed. And so my— the way I encourage people to find enough is, uh, be honest about what you want. And if you want a Ferrari, figure out how to get a Ferrari ethically and legally and all that stuff. And anybody here that owns a business knows this, or works a job, does a bunch of overtime Uh, you're gonna go through a lot of pain, heat, and pressure in order to do what it takes to acquire that Ferrari or whatever it is you want. And the trick is, uh, can you acquire it and not let it acquire you? And so I find, and in my experience, uh, you set your sight on something, be honest, do you really want it? But if yes, acquire it. And that's going to take a lot of work and time and long hours. And then when you acquire it, be open to letting it go. And if you can do that, you'll probably kind of find that enough. And once you find that enough, you can create what we would consider a sanctuary, meaning here's my enough, I have it, cool. Now you could spend the rest of your— you can go do whatever you want, go travel the world, go take crazy bets, make crazy investment, it doesn't matter. If it all that blows up you go back to your sanctuary, you still have enough. And so it's less Stoic versus Epicurean, you know, and it's more like, in my opinion, did you establish enough? Because that's hard. The amount of work that takes to know yourself that well and do the work to acquire enough is all the growth you'll ever need. So can you establish that and then, uh, go do whatever the hell you want? And it's risk-free, it really is. So you made $10 million and you lost it, who cares? You have enough. Uh, you know, it's— you had a reputation, you were a rock star, and now nobody cares who you are. Who cares? You have enough. And so I think it's a process. It's not a, uh, in my opinion, it's not sitting here and going, you know what, I don't need the Ferrari, I'm good. Well, maybe you don't, but be honest with yourself. And if you do, uh, figure out how to contribute enough value to society that you are rewarded with enough money to buy the Ferrari. You did well. Like, that— you, you did more good, in my opinion, than had you renounced the Ferrari and convinced yourself somehow that was, I don't know, better for the world. So that's how I think about enough. And, uh, the Stoic part is because I'm also— I'm a big fan of Stoicism. And to me, it's really just the component of not letting the thing own you. Who cares? I don't care if you own a bunch of stuff. I'm not a stuff person, but I don't care if somebody owns a bunch of stuff. The real question is that, does that stuff own them? And that's where I think the Stoic philosophies can be the most useful, is, uh, giving you the perspective and almost like a frame to not let things own you. So that's a very long-winded way of establishing enough.

Yeah, well, it's a, it's a great way of putting it because that's exactly what the ancient Stoics did, is they, they found the middle path between being a complete hedonism, be— being a complete renunciate. And they said, yes, being a good person is all that's required to live a good life, and it's okay to engage in the world, and, uh, it's preferable to have things that, that, that make life more fun or interesting or etc. So they just call them preferred indifference.

You—

the thing that matters most is virtue, and if if you can get a little health, wealth, and happiness along the way, that is something that would be preferred over the opposite. So totally on board with that. I also, uh, love one of the— because it's a filter I look at the world through, and I have been looking at the world through for a long time, I, I see a lot of what appear to me to be kind of Stoic philosophical influences on, on some of, some of your work. And that may or may not be intentional. It might just be, you know, truth is truth. But, um, one of the ex— the— I was introduced to you and your work by our mutual friend Laurel Portier, who delivered me an early copy of Bumpers. I highly recommend that, that book. I know you've rewritten it several times now, but you know, there is that element of, yes, it's okay to pursue the things that you want, but it's also a good idea for you to decide what's worth wanting for you. And there's an exercise in Bumpers, I think it was in chapter 5 of the— right around page 50 of the edition that I first saw it in. Where you suggest that you start with what's your current definition of success? What, you know, what does success mean to you? What's your current priority? And that was a really helpful frame and has probably been a centerpiece of the way I approach the work that I do with, with the community and clients is before I help you get clearer about and closer to building this business that funds and fits the life that you want. Let's just— let's make sure that you understand what the life worth wanting is that you're going to try to build a business to fund and fit around. I'd love to hear you just expand on, on how you arrived at that exercise. Again, game changer, uh, along with the kind of audit of what you're currently doing and what you can stop doing. Also reliability stuff. How, how did that all, uh, find its inspiration in your work, and, and how has it iterated and changed over time?

So there's a little bit of, uh, you know, what came as a— what, what, what got made as a byproduct of kind of me being me. And but most of it is I've been very fortunate. I've had good teacher karma. They would call it. I've been around, I spent a lot of time with people much, much smarter than I am, and, uh, from different angles. Like, you know, over here you got the spiritual person, over here you got this holistic medicine person, over here you got this, uh, scientist. And, uh, the, the realization sitting in the middle of all them that I had is they're all saying the same thing. They're, they're arguing, but they're saying the same thing. And, uh, I have an extreme orientation and everybody's different, you know. I have an extreme orientation toward form— or function, sorry, it's function, which means I, I don't make pretty stuff, you know, like form. I don't think about form. I don't see form. I don't have an aesthetic eye, but I rotate very heavily toward function. And so what stands out to me when I'm looking at stuff is the function. I'm always thinking about what is the function of this thing? What is the reason you even did this? And so what happens, it's very similar to, you know, own a thing but don't let it own you. Uh, I've watched a lot of people get— say yes to a job or start a business, and the function was to get them the life they wanted. And it just creeps in slowly that all of a sudden the function of your life is to serve the business or the job. And so just years of observing, uh, and just watching it go from, I'm going to do this because it's going to give me the life I want, and slowly it shifts to, I'm going to live my life so my business can exist. Uh, and again, I've heard it explained to me and it demonstrated to me so many different angles that, uh, that's kind of a benefit that I think, you know, being around smart people in many different domains. So yeah, looking at it, you say, okay, but what is the purpose of this thing? It's always what's the purpose of this thing? If the purpose of this thing is to be a decoration, then we have to make sure it is always a decoration. Don't turn it into a tool. The value will drop precipitously because that's not the— in this its system, its function is decoration. If it's a tool, do not let it become a decoration, primarily because the value to this system will drop precipitously. And so that's kind of like the whole, okay, well, why are you getting into this business? Uh, if Elon says, I'm getting into this business because I want to populate Mars, okay, well then his quality of life is not really a consideration. But he also forfeits the right to complain about the quality of his life, you know. And so there's like these trade-offs that we're not always aware of. Uh, most people get in the business because it represents something to them in their life, and they lose sight of it. And so when we look at the bumpers, like, what is your priority? There's, there's one more piece to this too. It's— I was at dinner about a year and a half ago now, and, uh, I don't know where everybody's political leaning is, but Jordan Peterson was there and RFK Jr. was there, and somebody asked, how do you get over the fear of speaking your mind knowing you're gonna get shot at, you're gonna get your license taken, you're gonna get— uh, how do you overcome the fear? And Jordan Peterson said, you know, you imagine angry Jordan Peterson, uh, he said, I don't get over the fear. What do you mean? There's no getting over the fear. I'm just more afraid of losing my tongue— and he was speaking to his freedom of speech— than I am of losing my license. And so what that is, is that's a prioritization, saying, no, I don't want to lose my license, but if I zoom out, I prioritize my freedom of speech over this license. And that's all we're doing with bumpers, is saying, okay, look, you can— maybe you can have your cake and eat it all too, sure. Maybe you can keep your freedom of speech and your license, maybe. But if not, you better be really clear on which one you're more afraid of losing. And that's all the prioritization is doing. It's not— I find people have a hard time prioritizing because if you say, "I want these two things," they believe they can get them, and maybe it's true. And if they say, "But this is the priority," they think that means they won't get this second thing. And that's not the case. We just need to know when push comes to shove, if we come to a fork in the road, we have to, in a state of calm and sobriety, we have to identify what's more important. Because if you make that decision in a state of panic, fear, greed, you're gonna— you may go down the wrong path, and who knows how long it'll go down that path before you recognize it. So That's like, I, I kind of came to that realization just watching, uh, and I was fortunate that I was spending all of my time with a— he got his PhD in biochemistry, really smart dude, and we, we weren't talking as business owners, we were just watching business owners, so we could be pretty objective and surgical about it. We didn't get all caught up in the stuff, uh, And it was just like, wow, uh, we're looking at these people going, man, they're really successful, they own their own practice, they're doctors, this is amazing. And then we would talk to them and they're just like, God, I wish I never became a doctor, I hate this. And so it's just that over and over and over. So wow, uh, we should probably be very intentional about what we're doing and weigh it very strongly against where we actually want to be in 10, 20 years. And that kind of became the foundation of Bumpers.

Yeah, Bumpers is one of the titles that's available at the bookstore. It's a really excellent starting point. I know it— I mean, in part it was Nick's first book, but that, um, that idea of priorities is really interesting to me because it's something that You helped me understand, uh, and it's also just because I'm kind of a geek when it comes to etymology. Prior— until the 1900s, we never thought of priorities in the plural. A priority was the one and only important thing, and it doesn't mean it's the only thing that's ever important. It just means this is the thing that's most important now. One of the things that I learned from you was you can have, uh, you know, a handful of things that are important to you. You just have to waterfall them. Like, what's the most important thing now? Go ahead and lock that one in first, because then you can move on to the second one and the third one. Whereas, you know, again, something I learned from you is if you're chasing after 3 different quote-unquote priorities, if something terrible happens, you can end up getting nothing. You know, if you're one-third the way towards 3 priorities, that means you could have invested all that time, attention, money, and effort in getting one of them, and you would have been 100% the way towards the one thing that matters. And one of the things that Bumpers— another lesson I took from Bumpers, um, that I'd love for you to just expand on a little bit is, and it taught this to me in a way better than it's It's a concept we all understand when it comes to boundaries or guardrails or non-negotiables. You call them non-negotiables, but you have a really specific way of helping highlight the importance of what are the things that are truly out of bounds, like what are the— like, and, and the clarity and bandwidth that it frees up when you are absolutely clear on, on what your actual boundaries are.

Yeah, I find that the non-negotiables is probably the thing that people struggle with the most, which is funny because if you talk like, uh, a non-negotiable, for those that haven't read Bumpers, is basically can we identify 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 that we just decide we're not going to do no matter what, and So somebody could pop up to me and say, hey, did you, uh, what do you think about what Donald Trump said about— it's like, yeah, I don't talk about politics. And the reason I don't talk about politics is there's nothing to be gained from it, and all you can do is polarize. So you don't have to accept that non-negotiable, but by making that one decision, I've saved myself hours and hours and hours and hours of discourse or trying to decide, ooh, do I engage in this or not. No, I don't talk about politics. I'm not doing it. And people are afraid to do that. But my question is, what do I lose? What am I losing by refusing to talk about politics? Uh, I will not publicly— if it's in a serious conversation with a business partner, or, you know, we're trying to make a decision— but even then, another non-negotiable is I won't spend a lot of time trying to prove that I'm right. So I'll make my case and I'll give my evidence, but I'm not going to do it. So once I— oh gosh, I'm just trying to prove I'm right— I won't do it. And so, uh, I encourage people to establish your non-negotiables. And one of the best ways to do it, in my opinion, is rearview mirror. You just look and you say, where am I wasting? Where do I work? This keeps happening. I wish this didn't happen. Okay, then make a decision you're not going to do anymore. And for some reason, it's like, uh, people have a hard time establishing, deciding ahead of time, I'm not going to do this, even though they can look back and every single time they've engaged in this activity, it's ended poorly. You know, it's kind of like being in college, uh, and it's like, man, I'm never drinking again. Then the next night you do it again. You know, it's like, you know, this has never ended well, but for some reason you can't not do it. And a lot of pain and suffering comes from just not being able to identify the things that you should not do. So, uh, I encourage everybody, at least one, establish one non-negotiable. And it's best if you make it something— if you look back and you say, yeah, okay, every time I engage in this kind of conversation, or every time I do this thing, every time I allow this, it ends poorly. Then just make a decision. Write it down. I'm not doing this anymore. Uh, and for those of you that care about this kind of thing, uh, you're an adult. You don't have to explain it to anyone. I don't talk about politics right now because we're on this, you know, I'm explaining why. But out in the wild, I'm not explaining why. I'm just gonna say I don't talk about politics. And guess what? I'm an adult, so I don't have to explain myself. And so it also empowers you, and it starts to— the thing that I find is, uh, when you establish non-negotiables like that, first you get a little bit of pushback because everybody wants you to do whatever they want you to do, uh, but generally they start to respect more of your boundaries because it's like, okay, he said he doesn't do this and he doesn't do this. All right. And so a lot of my relations have gotten better just by having non-negotiables. And when it comes up, uh, making them explicit— I don't do that. You can do that, I don't care, like no judgment. I don't think it's wrong to do that, I just don't do it. And, uh, now the benefits are insane, and it's— you just recapture a lot of time, a lot of bandwidth, and, uh, people learn your non-negotiables. And in my experience, they respect them. They don't really— doesn't really cause any problems. So it's a tough one, though. People really struggle with the non-negotiables. It's like, nobody wants to commit to not doing something.

Well, it speaks to another really early lesson that I learned from you, which is the human default programming. To crave and chase more. And that's, you know, the back— circling back to the enoughness conversation. We, we struggle to define what enough is to us because enough feels like scarcity and it feels like the antithesis of abundance. But if you are clear about what enough is, you'll find out that you actually end up with more than enough. And that— this speaks a little bit to Jeff. Jeff Smith has dropped a question in here, Nick, I'm gonna throw at you, which is, uh, he says, I'm curious where the phrase or the principle of you're not behind came from, from In Come Home. Uh, he says it's been really helpful for— what's your take? What's the, the principle of you're not behind?

Uh, When somebody says to me, I feel like I'm behind, the only response I could possibly have is, behind who? Never been met with an answer that made any sense, right? So it's like, I feel like I'm behind. Behind who? You're right where you are, and it's not a race. If it were a race, right? Like the Olympics. Guess what? Everybody starts at the exact same starting line at the exact same time, and that didn't happen. So unless you're competing with somebody that was born into your exact situation at the exact same time, there is no measure. There's no measuring stick. What are you behind? Uh, and so it's that, like, it's kind of a phantom feeling. It's like, oh God, I'm way behind Behind what? But maybe you're behind schedule at work, but that's an arbitrary schedule, so who cares, you know? Uh, so that's fair to say, I'm behind schedule, uh, but that's an acute short-term thing. That's not who you are. That's not an identity to assume as somebody that's behind. Uh, so you're not behind. You are experiencing a feeling of being behind. And you should probably figure out behind who, behind what, you know, measured by who. Like, what are we using to measure? Like, if you can zoom out enough to say, look, I'm not behind— that's not who you are, that's not your identity, uh, I'm currently experiencing a feeling of being behind— and then examine it. Behind what? Behind who? And if you can answer all that and it makes sense, cool, then you're behind that thing. Uh, okay. But we are all— and you see it, and you know, you see it in all the stories. Instagram does this all the time now, shows all these success stories where, you know, someone was broke until they're 55 and now they're billionaire and all that stuff. And so like, it hasn't played out. You don't know the story arc. You may not be where you want to be, but what you want to be, again, is an arbitrary thing. The Stoics would tell you to change where you want to be. Don't move. Like, you don't have to move as far. You could just want less. And so that's kind of the idea. Is, uh, how, how can you be behind? There's no, there's no way you can say you're behind because there's no measuring stick. There's no universal regulation way to measure the distance you've covered, uh, by and large. Because, uh, let's say Scott Perry and I leave my house at the same time and we're We're driving, I don't know, somewhere. We're driving to, uh, across the country, and we got to get all the way from Arizona to Florida. Cool. Uh, 3 days later, he's closer to Florida than I am. Am I behind? Uh, if you— yeah, on paper I am, but I wanted to take my girlfriend sightseeing and go the scenic route. He didn't. Or maybe he did, but he got stuck measuring distance. So really, he's behind. I'm getting more scenery than he is. I'm getting more of what we want. And so you have to, like, work in the preferences. Your preferences matter. It's not just, I want to go from here to here. Even Google Maps will ask you, do you want to avoid toll roads? Like, there's preferences built in. So you can't— I mean, you can. It doesn't make a lot of sense to just measure the distance. Uh, you know, maybe you prefer to enjoy the ride. Maybe there's some stops you want to make. Maybe you just want to get there as fast as possible. Uh, any of those things could be true. And so how would you measure who's behind who? The only way to measure it is how, uh, it's not even how much of what you're, what you want are you getting, because there's randomness, right? It's like the universe is karma. Um, but how often do your decisions increase the probability you get what you want? That's what I would measure. And so if you keep making decisions, they get you further away from what you want, then you're not behind, but your decision-making could certainly be improved to get a hell of a lot closer to what you want over time. Uh, but we have to account for preferences, we have to account for time, we have to account for randomness, we have to account for, uh, your decisions, which you control. We have to account for other people's decisions, which you don't control. You can't control if somebody else runs a red light, gets in an accident in front of you, and now you're late. Yeah, so we have to account for that. And we have to account for the universe's karma, which is You know, if we act like idiots for 50 years, the next generation has to deal with a lot of stuff that they didn't do.

So it's—

we're not in a race situation in an isolated, you know, all the variables are controlled and when the gun goes you run and whoever finishes finishes. So there's really no behind. There's just— I am where I am, I know where I want to go, hopefully, and how often are my decisions getting me closer And how often can I prioritize my long term over my short term? And that's it. So I don't have a hard time with wrapping my mind around the concept of I feel like I'm behind. Because I can't visualize it. And I'm a visual thinker.

Well, something I heard you say many times that I think is originated with our mutual friend Jeff Moore. You can't win a race that you don't want to be in. And, uh, that speaks a lot to the idea of priorities and that whether or not that feeling of behind is, is actually, uh, true or not. Seth Godin uses the phrase 'compare to what' oftentimes, and I've also heard you often respond to questions with 'it depends.' ends because there's no one dogmatic answer to, to these very personal, idiosyncratic, uh, questions that we're all trying to address in our day-to-day lives. Nick, we've been at it for about 30 minutes. I don't want to take up too much more of your time, but if you have a minute, a lot of what we have talked about also speaks to an idea that I, um, love your articulation about, and that is, um, the, the idea of clarity, certainty, and collapsing time. And I wonder if you would just take us home with, with a riff and a rant about that principle.

Yeah, I think again, if, uh, it's, it's kind of like a tip of, tip of the iceberg thing, you know. It's always like what you see is not what makes it work. So I'm feeling behind. Okay, what happens when you feel behind? You, you try to get there faster, right? That's kind of like, why do you feel behind? Because I'm not getting there fast enough. I want to go faster. That's collapsing time. I want to collapse time from where I'm at to where I'm going, to from start to outcome. But you cannot collapse time right, from here to Florida. If you don't have a set of directions, you can try, but you at least need to know I got to go east at bare minimum. You know, if I go east long enough, I'll hit water. Then if I go south long enough, I'll probably hit Florida. Still, you have to have some direction right now. So you, you have to have certainty on the, the set of directions, or at least the general direction, before you can collapse time. So certainty precedes collapsing time. So anytime you go, okay, I got to get there faster— stop. Do you have the freaking map? If not, you're going to run in circles like a maniac. So you want to collapse time, that's the feeling we get. What do I need? I need certainty. I need to know I'm going in the right direction. Right, so I'm not running in circles, or even worse, in the wrong direction for some amount of time. So you need certainty before you can collapse time, and that certainty is just— we'll just call it that you're pointed in the right direction. You can get pretty granular, but just point in the right direction. And then once again, you can't point in the right direction if you don't have clarity on where you're starting and where you want to go. Like, I know I have to go east and then south because I know I'm in Arizona and I know where Florida is and I know that's where I want to go. And so you can kind of back into this— well, I feel behind, I have this urgency. Okay, which direction do you need to point? And the only way you know which direction you need to point is if you take the time to get the— like, you pull up your Google Maps first thing it asks you, what's your destination? And if your Google Maps is 5 degrees off, you know, you're gonna end up in the wrong place and you're gonna be pissed. So if you expect that kind of precision out of your Google Maps, you should probably expect it out of everything you do. And then it's gonna— you're gonna click the button and it's gonna get a pin on your current location. Once again, if the current location is 2 miles off, it'd be pretty hard to get started. Can you imagine? You're looking at it and it's just a little bit off, like, wait, that— so it tells you to turn left on Bell and you don't see Bell. What the hell? And so you need a pretty precise, uh, representation of where you're at and where you want to go. And that's the clarity piece. So we all want to collapse time, which we must have certainty to do first, and we must have clarity to get certainty. So the, the process is clarity first. Where am I at? Where do I want to be? Do the work, get as precise as you can. Certainty is like printing off the MapQuest directions back in the day, right? You just need that, like, okay, this— I understand that these roads will close and traffic and the route will change. It will. But we at least need to know, okay, I know I'm going this way. I'm pointed in the right direction. And then the collapsing time is really like shifting your MapQuest print-off to a Google Maps that pings satellites all the time. It's the iterations and the adjustments. It's the insider knowledge. It's the friend that knows the back alleys. It's the, you know, all the ways— oh yeah, your buddy knows the cops, so go ahead, go 90 through here, you're fine. You know, like, those are all things that help you collapse time. And the ability, like Google Maps, to ping the satellite and check, because I made this plan 3 hours ago and things have changed since then. So the ability to iterate and adjust in real time when roads close, when traffic is bad, and all that stuff. So, uh, you're feeling behind, you want to get there faster, great. What direction are you pointing? Make sure it's the right direction. If you're not sure it's the right direction, stop. Figure out where you're at. Figure out where you want to go. Uh, clarity, certainty, collapsing time, in that order. And it's the highest probability to get to where you want to go. And the ability to stay receptive. Uh, hire coaches, mentors. You know, you want to get— this is a weird place, I don't know my way around— hire a guide. You'll get around, you know, with less— you'll get robbed less often, you'll stay out of the bad neighborhoods, all that stuff. And so that's the collapsing time piece, is, uh, you can absolutely help— people can help you get clarity. There's a lot of coaches, consultants, programs, and resources to do that. Uh, certainty is more mentorship. It's more, hey, I've done what you're trying to do, so let me give you the map. And collapsing time is generally more, uh, like corner man wisdom, like, okay, I've seen that, I've been around the world 60 times, I know the shortcuts. And, you know, that's kind of the process. So hopefully that was helpful, made sense.

Yeah, no, it's super helpful. It's a great framework, great heuristic for making sure that you know where you're actually going and that you're on the right path and, uh, and collapsing time as you go based on the data and the insight that reality is providing. Well, we're gonna wrap it up here for, for now. For Jeff and Anna and Claire and all the rest that are members of the Circle and Inner Circle community of paid subscribers, Nick is going to be hosting an exclusive Q&A just for you all next Monday. There's details about how to connect with that event coming up. And, um, you know, as you were speaking, Nick, it— I'm going to go ahead and recommend that anybody that wants to explore more of Nick's work and the principles and concepts that he talks about so well, that are all designed to help you get clear about closer to what you really want in life, I would suggest starting with either Bumpers or Coming Home. You can find both those titles in the Creative On Purpose bookstore on Substack or the site, because a lot of this really is done well or done better when you know thyself. And those books, probably more than any other, will reveal things about you that you probably didn't know and really do need to know before you build a business that get you there faster. So with that, Nick, any final words of wisdom as we sign off here and look forward to seeing you next week?

Words of wisdom aren't really my thing, but I do think this is really cool. I just looked at the screen and it's always fun when this happens. You see the big black book behind me? I don't know if you can see that. Oh yeah. Yeah.

I recognize that.

It's a monster. It's a monster of a book. But the, the guy that actually illustrated it and authored it all— my name's on it, but I didn't really do anything, uh, he just joined the chat.

Oh, that's really great.

Jim Molten. Yeah, it's pretty funny. And I'm looking at his book in my background.

Uh, serendipity.

No words of wisdom, but I do think, uh, if this is— if there's a replay, go back and You know, pull out what is useful to you and what resonates, and, uh, that's about it. You know, like, if it resonates, it resonates, uh, and there's a reason it resonates. So, uh, wrestle with it. And if you have any questions, ask Scott, don't ask me.

Well, there will definitely be a replay. This has been, uh, loaded with insight to inspire intentional action, and I will share words of wisdom that Nick Scott Perry has shared with me many times that I have stolen and repurposed many times, and that is, you become the thing by doing the thing. So read the books, but more important, engage the field, apply the principles, and it will help you get clear about closer to who you are and who you want to become. Nick, it's been, it's been a privilege to reconnect here in, in public. I look forward to seeing you next week for the exclusive Q&A, and, uh, thanks for the difference you make and all the great work that you're doing. It's great to see you back in the world.

Yeah, man, appreciate you. Thank you.