Leaders often avoid difficult conversations, but avoidance damages the organization more than honest dialogue. Before you talk, clarify what you want the other person to do and how it serves the organization's values. Then be direct: name the issue, state the standard, explain what needs to change, and offer support.
Chapters
You've been dreading this conversation that really deserves to happen, running through the worst-case scenarios, perhaps too often, and talking yourself out of the conversation rather than into it. But here's an awkward truth: avoidance costs the organisation more than honesty. And it's what isn't said that tends to be more problematic than what is said. Let me give you a practical reframe. Before the conversation, ask yourself and perhaps write down, what's my intention for this person? What do I want them to do? What do I want them to understand? What to do differently, better, stop doing, start doing, whatever it may be. Then from that, what's the value that the organisation wants to achieve from this conversation? The value, because you're not just speaking as a leader on your own behalf, you're speaking for the organisation. The conversation is not about the other person, actually it's for the other person and perhaps for you as well. If you look at these two questions and answer them, you'll shift from concern, worry, and potential blame to solution and benefits. You won't have to hope people figure things out. Then lead with this. Use a person's name. Scott Watson, the purpose of this discussion is for me to help you be aware of the standard, the boundary, what needs to change, why it needs to change, and what support, if any, is there to help it change. Not only have you initiated the conversation, you've begun to build a bridge, a bridge of understanding, and shared understanding creates clarity, and clarity can create commitment. So, being direct does not mean being harsh or aggressive. It means being clear, and being clear can also be partnered with being kind as well as candid. This is a vital leadership skill. Honest talk with the proper impact can enable, equip, and encourage others to think, to own things, to communicate with you, because there may be one or two things that they want to share with you as well. It's a real leadership move, one I encourage you to actively move forward with.
