A top performer who bullies colleagues isn't worth the damage to your team's trust. The speaker explains the difference between skill gaps you can coach and boundary breaches you can't, then gives scripts for having the conversation that protects both the employee's value and your culture.
Chapters
What do you do when one of your top performers in your team becomes one of your biggest problems for your team? They hit the targets, they know their stuff, they get results, but their communication, sometimes their conduct, sometimes it's abrasive, it's disrespectful, and it's crossing lines that you know your organisation wouldn't want to be crossed. Now here's the challenge for you as a leader or manager. Do you hold the line or do you look the other way because They're valuable. They're fabulous. Let's be really clear. In every team, there are what we call allowable weaknesses. These are things like learning curves, developing new competence, or needing support in specific areas to develop that confidence and competence. That's normal. That's human. But profanity, aggression, and bullying, hostile tone, eye rolling, raised voices, intimidating language, dismissive behaviour— those aren't allowable weaknesses. Those are boundary breaches, and if you as a leader let them slide, you become complicit in enabling them to continue. Because whether you notice or not, your team sees it. They see who gets away with what. They notice inconsistencies in your approach. And nothing erodes trust in leadership faster than a leader who doesn't lead when it matters most. And that means having the difficult conversations. So what do you do? You have the conversation early, directly, respectfully, and you can say something along the lines of, "I value your contribution to the team and the business. Performance speaks for itself. It's important though that you and I talk about aspects of your communication and conduct which aren't acceptable for the business." That's not a bullshit sandwich. It's saying what you value and what deserves attention. Another one is, "What I observed in this morning's management meeting 'from you doesn't align with the standard I expect from you as your manager, or what the business will accept from you as an employee from today. Let's talk about it.' If they say, 'I didn't know it was an issue,' now they do. Maybe they didn't, but they've been informed. They can choose to adjust if they wish to. If they did know, now they're absolutely clear on the boundary and the expectation from you and the business of them from today. So this is about equality of standards, consistency of decisions, and indeed the courage to act. That's what real leadership looks like, because if you don't step towards the conversations that deserve to happen, are you really leading? Don't protect performance at the expense of your team's trust and well-being and engagement. Don't reward results by ignoring unacceptable behavior or communication. Hold the line fairly, firmly, and with clarity. The culture you risk walking past is the culture that you accept. So please choose to lead. Be consistent, be clear, and be candid for everyone's benefit.
