EP 541 – Messing With The Monkey Mind With Kim Chiarello

Foreign this is the no Closer show where you get the latest developments in distressed note investing and learn the secrets of how you can control millions of dollars worth of property for pennies on the dollar. Get educated and entertained by someone who has closed thousands of deals and lives to support you in achieving the same. Now, here's your host, CEO of We Close notes, Scott Carson. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, everybody. Welcome to this episode of the no Closer Show. As always, Scott Carson jacked up and excited to be here today. I'm extremely excited for this episode. I think so many people out there, entrepreneurs, we come to the end of the year, it's kind of a mixture of happiness but also stressfulness. And people are excited about the holidays when it comes to the holidays, but they're also stressful about finances or deals getting closed out or hitting their numbers or also times many people reflect back on, oh my God, where did the year go? And am I going to do the same thing next year? And how do I kind of affect what I make? How do I make changes correctly to what I'm doing to help me succeed in the new year? And so I'm really excited to have a friend of mine that I met at the New Media Summit a while back and we've been exchanging emails, working on each other's schedule and I'm so excited to have her on. I think it's an appropriate time because I think so many people struggle with the energy of where they're at right now and this time of the year. And like I said, all the seasons of the holidays and having to deal with in laws and your family, the fun stuff there. And I'm just honored to have her joining us on the show today. So I think you guys are going to get a lot of it. It's not our usual nuts and bolts show. I think this is, you know, guys know me. I like to bring on people that help with the mind game, help with where your thoughts are kind of going. And so I'm really excited to have Kim Chiarello join us today. She's a spiritual teacher and intuitive energy healing facilitator. Now Kim has been providing spiritual workshops and intuitive energy healing facilitation for over 15 years. She's been a frequent speaker at metaphysical conferences and a frequent guest on popular podcast shows. Kim's passion is to teach people how to create their heart desires as well to help them identify and heal what's blocking them from attaining it. And I know many people out there have mind blocks of whether things that they want to do, but they just can't seem to get over their mind blocks. So she's helped clients do things like find money in two weeks to pay off debt they came due unexpectedly, sell property after being on the market for over a year, get an executive corporate job or two years of job searching and just to name a few of some of her success stories. So we are honored to have the one, the only, the resident spiritual teacher, badass Kim Shirello joining us today. So let's give her a big round of applause for Jamie Pair. What's going on today, Kim?

Thank you, Scott. It's great to be here. I wish I had noisemakers like you did.

Well, I have been told next time I show up to new media, somebody need to bring a bunch for everybody because people have a tendency to enjoy them, right?

Yeah, they're a blast.

Let's start first kind of how did you get into what you're doing now? I mean, you've been doing it for a few years. We won't tell you exactly, but you've been doing it and really helping a lot of people out with their mind blocks and blocks to kind of what they're looking to get through for years. How do you get into something like that?

Yeah. Well, my story is actually a hilarious one. I'll tell you the short version and if you want more details. But I used to be an engineer working on a payload on the NASA space shuttle.

Wow.

Years and years ago and masters in electrical engineering and the whole nine yards. I was very, as they said, an engineered instead of an engineer and techie and geeky and all of that fun stuff. And I geeked out over tech and was working on cutting edge stuff and one day started to have some medical stuff start happening. And long story short, we started with the easy things and kept progressing through specialists and specialists. And this took months. As everyone knows, it takes weeks to get on the special schedule and then weeks to get the results. And every time the results came back negative, I would cry and my doctor would say, why are you crying? I'm like, because it means it's something worse. And they did tell me I potentially had a brain tumor.

Oh, wow.

That was a potential but the last resort and let's test out other things first. So we just kept getting closer and closer to that. And the crazy thing is they finally ruled that out. My symptoms were getting worse and they had no other ideas, no other specialists, no other tests, no other anything to try. And I said, well, now what? The doctor said, well, you'll just Go see the neurologist next year and if symptoms get worse, give us a call. It was kind of a wait and see game. And at the time I just had this feeling like, yes, it's not a brain tumor, but I feel there's something that I'm going to die before they figure this out. And at that time I realized, if I'm going to die, better know, like, what's the purpose of life and why am I here and figure that out before I'm going to go. And this is in my 20s, this was happening, and pretty scary, Pretty scary stuff. And so I started searching but wasn't finding anything that was giving me answers. Long story short, I started dating a guy and it went bad. And he'd been telling me about this spiritual teacher and how great she was and how you should go see her. Everyone knows the more you push, the more people push back. So I was like, no, no, no, no, no, thank you. But ended the relationship via text, which was really just, that's a crappy thing to do. And I got angry. And it was the first time in my life I stood up for myself after like a breakup or for anything. Unfortunately, I started acting out, so I got angry and that was not helpful. But long story short is I decided to go to the teacher's class with the idea of telling her she was insane because I was an engineer. If you can't prove it, that's that.

Right, Right.

And then telling him that he misunderstood what she was teaching. And again, it's immature, it's acting out. I don't recommend it. But the crazy thing is I went to the class as a whole, all day class. It ended up there was a class like that weekend kind of thing.

Nice, right?

It's crazy how the universe, right, exactly.

Puts things in front of us all the time like that. Yeah.

And so not only did I not leave the class early, I stayed for the whole day.

Wow.

Going like, hey, like this makes sense. And hey, I've learned concepts like this in corporate America, in leadership classes and in communication classes, in conflict resolution classes, but they're just using spiritual language. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. And so not only did I not walk out at the end of the class, she said, well, part two is coming up and there's space in the class. Would you like to take it? And I'd like to. It was like I heard myself, it was like a bubble, right? And I heard myself going, oh, yeah, I'll take class. And the rest is history. Basically those classes taught me all the skills I needed to know, to find my answers, my own answers as to what is the purpose of life, what is the meaning of life, and what's my purpose in it, and I believe so much in it is that I teach them today. That's what I teach as well as energy healing classes like Reiki and other things like that, and then share what I know in private sessions as well.

So, yeah, that's really good stuff. So let's get into. You're teaching people how to create the life their heart desires, helping heal what they're blocking them. What do you see? I'm sure it's different across the board here, but what are some. Probably the most common mind blocks or things that are blocking people from finding success or finding happiness with what they're doing?

Yeah, that's a good question. So there's many blocks out there. Most people are their own block, Right. And there's a story that went around the Internet years ago, so I don't know who wrote it, but it's a great story that exemplifies what's going on. So the story goes, a hurricane is coming, and they're evacuating the neighborhood. And people combine a truck to Joe's house, and Joe. And they said, get in the truck. You know, we're evacuating the neighborhood. The hurricane's coming. And Joe said, no, no, God will save me. I'm staying. And then the water starts rising, so people come by in a boat and say, joe, get in the boat. Water's rising, the hurricane's bad. And he said, no, no, God will save me. And the water level keeps rising to the point where now it's at the roof level. So he's standing on his roof, and a helicopter comes by. Joe, grab the roof. The water's rising, the hurricane's bad. He's like, no, no, God will save me. And then he dies and he goes to heaven. He's like, God, like, why didn't you save me? And God said, I sent you a truck, I sent you a boat, and I sent you a helicopter. Right. And most people, there are things in life there to support you, and you are not seeing it. Right. So it's learning to be aware of those things. Right. That's why the buzzword of mindfulness is such a buzzword right now. Right. Can you be present? Can you be aware of, oh, here's an opportunity that's come into my life and let me take it? Or in thinking about your Halloween episode and all the nightmares that you shared, right. There was some point in it where you went, ah, I probably shouldn't be doing this. Right? You had this feeling, but you discounted it and you went forward anyway and you went, oh. And then you found out like, oh, this was not a good idea. Does that make sense?

It totally makes sense that we take for granted things that are sent our way or relationships or we maybe distrust our gut when our gut is giving you the right, the right answer that we kind of go against a lot of times there's a lot of those, I don't want to say six senses, but it's kind of. That aspect of intuition kicks in and we know we probably should be doing things a little bit different. Like, like, well, Thanksgiving. I know I probably should go back for the third plate of dressing and stuff like that if I'm working on a diet, right? But I'm going to pay for it the next week when I don't feel so good and sluggish and stuff like that. You know, we have those internal conversations, but I think a lot of times our mind blocks that things like we. Oh, no, I'll get to that later. I don't want to do that. I don't want to deal with that person because I don't like that person. Even though that person is probably put into our life for a reason of some sort. Right?

Definitely. It's learning, even with the simple things. I mean, a simple example is I was wanting to go to the food store and it was like, okay, well, I want to go to the food store on Sunday because Saturday is going to be great. I want to go hiking. And I got this feeling like, no, you need to go to the food store on Saturday. I'm like, no, I don't. Food store on Saturday. And so I just went hiking. And then when I went to the food store on Sunday, five of the main things I really needed, they were out of. Right? And that's just a minor example. Right. But there's so many more. There's been times, I've already mentioned one where it was like, I shouldn't date this person. And you go forward. Oh, they're nice or they're this or they're that. No, no, that's okay. Right. And you double think yourself and it's learning to quiet, as the Buddhists say, the monkey mind. And really kind of hear that intuition. There is that saying that you mentioned, what's your gut feel? And I teach your gut definitely get. Gives you some information. Usually that's kind of your lower self, right? Saying like, have another hot Fudge sundae, have another helping of dressing or whatever. When you know, like, oh, I'm gonna be overstuffed and I'm not gonna feel good. Whereas we talk about how does it feel in your heart? And the saying goes, right, the heart is the seat of the soul. And no matter what your belief system is, whether it's, you want to say the universe talking to you or God talking to you or your inner self, doesn't matter. It's like, how does it feel there? And that's the most important piece. And there's lots of different exercises you can do to help yourself kind of get centered and get present. We can talk about some of them if you would like.

No, I think it's a great thing. I mean, that's our listeners out there across notenation, across the radio networks and those that listen to the podcast. I'm sure they're. They're thinking that as well. It's like, what are some things? If I'm so scatterbrained. I hate to say that word, but a lot of us find ourselves, like, trying to do multiple things and not having success in anyone trying to do more than one. How can we kind of silence that? The monkey brain. I love that silence. The monkey mind. Monkeying around with a monkey mind might be the title of this episode, actually. But that's the thing is we all run in different areas. And this is one thing I talk with so many entrepreneurs and real estate investors. We see this happen on time and time again. It's the whole like squirrels, like, squirrel syndrome, chasing this squirrel. I'm gonna run over to this thing, or I'm running over and do this thing, or I'm gonna be an expert in a variety of different topics. We try to get people to focus on that one. Hey, focus on one thing. You'll find a lot better success getting that done before you start something else. And most people want, I want to be an expert in senior living, but I'm going to run over and be student housing. I'm going to run over and do fix and flips in the note business. And they never get anywhere. But then they get frustrated because they're not giving time or they're letting their monkey brain run them all over the place versus just kind of silencing everything and figuring out that focus.

Definitely. And I also do some consulting with corporations on these types of things as well. Right. If you're going after everything, you're not going to get anything done. And it's quite a common theme that's understood now, in corporations is you need to focus in. Let your listeners go and look up the concept of context switching that can help them. And there's science about that of when you're doing too many things, you're switching your context and you lose a lot of overhead. It shows, basically, if you're focusing on three things, it will take you actually three times as long to get all three things done, versus if you focus on one, then the next, and the next, you will get it done faster.

Hang on. That's a good thing. I want you to repeat that for everybody listening, because that was a golden nugget there for everybody out there. Aha. Moment. Say it again.

So if you focus on, for example, three things, it will actually take you three times longer to complete those three things versus doing one and completing it, then the second and completing it, then the third, then completing it.

Now, that's not just your engineering mindset kicking in and telling that, is that?

No, no, there's actually. There's a lot of science out there. I incorporate science, my consulting for. Combined with the spiritual when I'm consulting for corporations. So there's a lot of data out there. So there's a lot of talk about. We need to not only prioritize because we could have three priority ones, right? I have to get all three done, but you can only work on one thing at a time. So let's rank them. And the way to think about it is, if I'm to go out of business today, what do I need to get done that's going to potentially bring me some income?

I love it. Because we talk about doing the most productive thing in any given moment. That's what you've got to focus on. Instead of having to do lists, maybe having a big rocks list like you just said, and then ranking those things to get the most important thing done at any given time. Oh, I'm getting chills. I'm loving this.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, even Stephen Covey with 10 Habits of Highly Effective people. One of his habits is called First Things first, and he gives a great example. It's in a video somewhere where he has a bucket on a table. He's presenting with a bunch of rocks. And they're all shapes, right? You have to put the big rocks in first and then put the medium rocks in and then the small rocks in for everything to fit in the bucket. If you start with the small things, and people like to start with the small things, oh, I can get this done in 15 minutes. I can get this done in a Couple hours. And it feels good to check that off my list. But how important is that to you and how much is that getting you to your goals? Right. So I guess a little aside there.

No, it's not. It's not an aside because we agree that we've talked about that before in an episode before of focusing on the big rocks. It's been a while since we've talked about it, so I'm glad you bring it up. But that's such a big thing because I think so many people run around like a chicken with their head cut off trying to get multiple things done. I know a few people that I'm close with, they struggle with this.

Me as well. Me as well. I still struggle with it. I still do.

I think everybody does. I think everybody does at some point. Yeah.

So it's like the things I'll share are simple to explain and probably simple to do. Simple techniques. But it takes a while to master it. It takes that inner dedication to say, like, no, I need to focus on this now. Right. And some things that can help you kind of get that clarity is breathing exercises. And there's a lot of science behind it as well as, well, spiritual stuff to it. But the basic science is right. Breathing is helping to bring oxygen to your brain so your brain can figure things out. And these specific breathing exercises switch you from that primal brain, the reptilian brain, the fight or flight. And when you're in fight or flight, you cannot rationally or logically think you are not in that frontal cortex. So these breathing exercises help get you there. Probably why so many different spiritual paths. Focus on breathing.

It helps you center, it helps you taking that deep breath. It's the same thing in working out. You want to be more. If you want to be a good Olympic builder or an athlete, the first thing you've got to get underway is your breathing down and keep it in a flow because that way you can act more controlled, you can act diligently versus stressing your system out. And that's honestly the fight or flight comes from a stressed out system. Oh my God, I'm stressed out. I'm not gonna make the right decision.

Exactly.

You got to breathe and kind of center focus yourself before you can take aim and go from there. So those things make a lot of sense.

So there's a lot of neuroscience on this and your folks can delve into it. But here's a great breathing example, a great one to start with. It's maybe an intermediate ish level, but I think everyone can do It. It's called box breathing, where you breathe in, inhale, starting with a count of four, you hold it for a count of four, you exhale completely for a count of four, and you hold it out for a count of four. Does that make sense? Hence the box. And the gist is the longer you can do it. Can you start with that? And I don't know if people are actively listening right now. Want to try it right now? I can guide everyone through it, but eventually you want to say, can I go to a count of five for my box? Can I go to a count of six? Right. And when you're really stressed, you can't do longer counts. You'll be able to do one part of the box longer and not the others. Right. So we're trying to balance the breathing.

Is this something that they should be doing on a daily basis or hourly basis or as things pop up? What do you find works really well for people with a box breathing?

Yeah. So basically, whenever you're needing it, and what I love about it is one, it's quick. Two, it's like if you're in a workplace, you can go to the bathroom and be in the bathroom stall and practice this for even 30 seconds. Right. It doesn't have to take long. It's not like, oh, we have to do this for half an hour or something like that, Which I really love about it. You can do it even while you're driving. Keep your eyes open, please. But you can do it, right? You can do it while you're doing something else if you'd like. It's better to be sitting and focusing on it. You'll get better results. But that's what I like about it. You can do it anywhere, anytime, and it's super quick. And yeah, I mean, starting off your day with it and ending your day with it is awesome. Starting your day with it will help you clear and rank your day. Right. How many of us have our plan for the day and then the first thing happens and that whole plan goes out the window? Right.

Such a great point. Yeah. We react to things, we come in and we get sucked into our email on something fire we've got to put out, and that puts our whole day behind. And the more. I think that's such a great point there for people to accomplish more things is to make sure, start your day off centered, have a plan where you want to focus on, and then fit the small rocks, like email voicemail, around the bigger rocks in your schedule to be more productive and make things happen.

Definitely, definitely. Now I was gonna say, are you wanting to try this one now with.

The time that we've got here, I want to dive in a couple other things here for. Because I love that definitely thing. But talking about people that are having more of the blocks, maybe they're juggling two or three things, juggling a full time career, full time job, and they're wanting to do something on their spare time side, 10, 15 hours a week, or really struggling to find that focus of things. What are some of the things that you're working with besides the breathing to help them kind of identify their ideal life? Are there things that people can do like right now, before the New Year's, to help them kind of help identify and put them in past to where they want to start living their dream life?

Yeah, definitely. I mean we all have want to do it all. We have the work life, we have the family life, we have the social life, we have our everything vacations. And it's getting that clarity. And two of the ways, one is with that kind of breathing, doing that for an extended period of time and then stopping and asking the question like, what's the most important thing for me to do in this coming year and getting that, allowing that intuition to come through like, I want it all. But yeah, I'm really feeling like I should start with this, right? This person came into my life and they can help with that. It's perfect timing, right? Those types of things. There's a lot of people who believe in creating the vision board. So everyone says they want everything, but a lot of times they're saying what they don't want. I don't want a crappy boss like I have. I don't want the awful long hours that I have in my job. I don't want to have the toxic relationship I have with my parents, my sibling, my spouse, whatever, right? I don't, I don't, I don't. But you got to get clear on what you want and take time to write that down, right? Thinking about it, you're not going to get as clear as if you're writing down the specifics of what do I want in my life. And there's a great example of one of my colleagues had a client that was needing a car and couldn't afford a car. She had two children, a single mom, and was needing a car to drive them to school, drive them to practice. We live in Colorado. There's not great bus systems. So you need the car to get buses, right? So she focused on the car not the money to get the car. So she focused on, okay, I need a car that's safe because I'm driving my kids. I need a car that's reliable because I'm driving my kids right to school to practice and all of that. And you know what? I've never had a luxury car. That would be awesome. Why not? I'm going to ask the universe for that. And the next day, a friend of hers called and said, hey, my husband and I are being relocated internationally for my husband's business for just a year. Do you mind keeping our car so that it doesn't sit idle? And that can actually destroy a car. And it was a Mercedes, and you just need to keep gas in it and keep up with the oil changes and that kind of thing. And she was just like, great, right? But if she was focusing on getting the money to get the car, she would have never gotten the car. She would have never seen. It would have been like that example of we sent a boat and a truck and the helicopter to save Joe. Right. Does that make sense?

Totally makes sense. You want to focus on the object versus trying to get there. It's like the same thing with people saying, hey, I want to pay their credit card debt off. I want to pay my credit card debt off. That attracts credit card debt versus the fact of a, you need to go focus on, I'm going to make more money, hence, pay that off. You're attracting what you're really focused on. Correct?

Right. You're making me remember some clients of mine, they were husband and wife school teachers. So as we know, school teachers are not well compensated. And they had applied for some kind of federal loan for their home and got it and got their first payment or two. And then all of a sudden, the government came back and said, that was a mistake and you need to repay us in two weeks. Oh, wow, $10,000. And they're schoolteachers. Even if it was $1,000, they wouldn't have been able to handle that. Two little kids working to make ends meet. Right. So it was getting clear on, okay, here's what I need, and can we get clear on how that can come into my life versus how it's not going to come into my life. Right. And it went through some of my spiritual process with them as well. And not only did that money come into their lives, it actually, they got $15,000 in two weeks. They decided, if I'm going to try to create this money in our lives, we actually have some other bills we want to pay Off. So let's go for it. Let's see what we can do. And so they were able to pay off that loan and their extra bills, Right. I'm focusing on allowing it. And it wasn't some like, woo woo miracle, whatever. No, you can explain it, right? One of them had been doing some contract teaching work and the company was behind on paying them and all of a sudden paid them everything all at once. Right? So there's those kinds of things. A family member just out of the blue said to them, hey, I know you have two little kids and you're struggling. I want to give you this amount of money out of the blue within those two weeks. Right. And it's allowing that and not saying, oh no, family, I don't feel I have to pay you back. And they're like, no, you don't have to. And so can you accept that right into your life? Does that make sense?

Totally makes sense. It really kind of opening up to receive those things. Because I think if people have a negative or a closed opinion of things are not open to receiving, things will pass them by or things will never appear out of the blue. Right.

And thank you for saying that. We always talk about opening to receive in the spiritual world, but it's also knowing that from neuroscience, which I've really gotten into a lot lately, it is known that our brain has a negativity bias. And the negativity bias is from caveman days, right? Where if you see something through the trees and you're not sure what it is, you need to go into the reptilian brain and go fight or flight versus get curious and go, let me go study that, let me get closer. Then we find out it's a dinosaur and then you're eaten. Right? So it is the body's protective mechanism. So if you are constantly focusing on what's going wrong and what I don't have and what I don't want, not only are you not clear on what you want, you're not going to see it. When it comes to you, I am thinking back on, I want everyone to get clear on what they're wanting and stating it in what you want versus a negative thing, right? So instead of saying, I want to lose X amount of pounds, I want to be healthy or I want to be able to coach my kids little league game, right? Be physically fit enough to do that.

It's like instead of saying I want to lose 50 pounds, I want to be, hey, I want to be more active, I want to start hiking more, or I Want to make it to the gym, you know, twice a week, as that's my goal. It's just how you rephrase it and how your mind absorbs it. Right?

Yeah. And for like a. I'm not sure about all of the deals you all do, but instead of saying, I don't want this deal to go bad, I want this deal to be successful, I want this deal to be timely. I want this deal to have a lot of ease and flow. Right. Versus stress and struggle and delays. Right. Let's say the positive words and get specific. I can give you examples about specific. This is a funny one. So I decided I wanted to manifest my next romantic partner. So I made my list of everything and did my spiritual practice for that. And the next day, I actually met this guy in a coffee shop. And when I met him, I was just like, wow, he's really great, but I'm not attracted to him. And I forgot on my list, I didn't put that I was attracted to him. So the universe gave me what I asked for.

That's a critical, very specific point. Hey, blue eyes. Tall, dark, and handsome, and I want to be wowed by them. Versus tall, dark, and handsome. Hey, nice to meet you. Not really attractive, you know, So, I.

Mean, I put things like financially stable and nice and funny and full of integrity. And all of those pieces were there. Interesting. It's helpful. At the time, I just laughed and I'm like, okay, so let me go modify my list. Redo this one process again. Right. So you do want to take some time to reflect doing that breathing exercise. There's other ones you can do as well to help you really get centered and get clear. And the good news is, if you don't list everything, you'll see what's coming to you in your life. And you're like, okay, I'm missing something. Like, this isn't quite right.

I think that's why we see a lot of people attract the same thing over and over and over again. They get in those ruts of negativity, or they get in the ruts where it's the Debbie Downer syndromes that we see in life. Like, aw, shucks, the same thing. Eeyore method. All shucks, same things happening again and again because we've programmed it and that's what we're receiving. Versus, like, no, I need to break the trend. I need to mess around with a monkey mind and really physically almost NLP ourselves because we had Matt Browning on here a couple episodes ago talking about reprogramming our computer brain to think differently and actively and see different things. I make the joke. I was making a joke the other day about, hey, hey, some people, one person I know, I have rose colored glasses. They've got like death colored glasses. You know, everything's in a, like, wow. And I'm like, well, look at the positive, you know, and go that route.

Yeah. And you're bringing up like so many good pieces. I'd love to dive a little bit deeper in on. Start with the rose colored glasses first. So I'm not saying that you should believe that, you know, the world is all rainbow and unicorns and whatnot. There are a lot of people out there that misunderstand some of these teachings and will do that. I'm not going to watch the news, I'm not going to talk to this person because I don't like them. And it kind of brings us to the next thing about creating and bringing things into our lives. Why there's something for us to learn there. And we might have a false belief. Right. So potentially the. If I'm watching the news and it's depressing me, it's. This is actually a mainstream corporate tool for problem solving called the five whys. So you keep asking why? Why does this keep happening to me? Because of X. Why is X happening to me? Because of Y? Why is Y happening to me? Because of Z? And you keep. I guess I didn't do that well, for an example. But you do it five times. And usually within the five times you get to the core of, oh, I just believe that I have to suffer and I don't deserve to have things go smoothly or I don't deserve to have this level of income. Right. It's finding those false beliefs that you might have from some event that probably happened in childhood. Right. You don't have to find out exactly where it happened in childhood, although it probably will come to you. And it's just like, okay, well, that's silly. That's not true.

When you say that I don't deserve to be loved, I don't deserve to be successful. And I almost start thinking of the old Saturday Night Live Stuart Smalley sketches that like, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me, kind of affirmations of saying to ourselves almost as a way to kind of counterbalance those things. Right?

Yeah. Well, first you have to find it. What is that? False belief. Right. And sometimes it's just simply finding it going, well, that's ridiculous. I don't Believe that or having something else of like, why am I not deserving? Everyone is deserving, Right. Something to that, to that effect. So getting clear on those pieces, that's kind of like the, the next level of bringing something into your life and creating something in your life. So I'm not saying to put on rose colored glasses and pretend like everything is fine because the problems don't go away that way either. If something's bothering you now, you're avoiding, repressing, denying it, and it'll come out. You've seen people who just explode because they were like, I have to be nice, I have to play nice. And you know, a lot of women in Western culture are taught that, right? You're the mom, you need to help the kids, you need to help your spouse, you need to work, you need to help everyone, you need to just keep going. And then all of a sudden it's just like, because what about me? I haven't been dealing with me. Right?

I love that because I think a lot of people do that. A lot of will keep it interior versus expressing it or communicating that with their spouse or loved ones or friends. And the more you can communicate it and kind of air out those feelings, the less likely you're going to have an explosion, the less likely you're going to be stressed out, less likely you're making a bad decision because you're not accessing the right parts of your brain, because you're in a stressful fight or flight syndrome, because now you're all stressed out because you let it get that way and it kind of builds and builds and builds versus like, okay, let's start breathing, let's start asking why I'm feeling this way. As you talked about, let's figure out what those things that we're ignoring and reprogram what we're trying to put out there in our daily basis so that we attract the right things versus attracting the wrong things. Hopefully everybody on there is seeing those dots starting to connect with everybody out there doing a great job. Kim. Yeah.

So you're making me think of another powerful exercise. It's really simple to explain and a lot of people discount it because it's so simple, but it is life changing. And you're talking about, yeah, we don't want to stuff whatever you're feeling, so write it down. And why I'm saying write it down. I, for a long time I'm just like, I'm not going to write it down. I'm just going to think about it. Like I can, I Can think about it, whatever. But when you write it down, you're getting the specifics. And writing it down makes you think about more things. Of, no, I'm not feeling angry. I'm feeling frustrated, and I'm feeling irritated, and I'm feeling impatient, and I'm feeling like, what are you? What's going on? And a great, great, powerful exercise is what is the opposite of that to me? So, for example, for me, if I feel angry, for me, the opposite of angry is happiness. Right? Okay, I identified that. Awesome. And I would go down my list of everything I said I was feeling irritated, I'm feeling impatient, I'm feeling what's the opposite? And make that list. Once I have that list, here's the exercise, and I will call it a breathing exercise. But to get a little on the spiritual side, what's on the breath is the prana. The qi is our life force. We cannot live without breathing. So it is actually an energy healing exercise. We all know, even physicists say everything is energy. We learn in school, molecules moving fast is a gas. When they're moving slower, it's a liquid. When they're moving even more slowly, it's a solid. But everything is moving. Everything has energy, right? Our bodies. I'm a former biomedical engineer as well. Our bodies are electrical chemical beings, right? Their energy currents go up and down our spine. That's our nervous system sending messages so that our heart pumps and our muscles tense and our digestive system digests. Right? All of us is energy. So doing this specific exercise that I'm going to share right now is, you can call it a breathing exercise, but it's helping you shift the energy. Helping you shift, you can say your brain, but it's also helping you shift in your own body physically. So once I say, okay, I'm feeling angry, and the opposite to me is happiness, now I am going to get in a quiet place where I can close my eyes safely, right? Not while I'm driving. Let's be specific to all the listeners out there. And I'm going to do relaxation breathing. So that's that deep, even slow breathing you do when you first wake up in the morning or before you go to bed at night. So we're not hyperventilating, right? We want to do some breathing. And you want to focus on feeling like I'm breathing in happiness. I'm filling up my body from my toes to the top of my head to my fingertips. I'm feeling every cell of my body with happiness, breathing it in and no, Right. You Breathe in. For all of my techies out there, you're breathing into your lungs. I know that. Right. So this is an exercise that you want to, whether you want to feel it or visualize it, that you're breathing into every cell of your body. I'm breathing in happiness. And you keep doing that until you feel happy. And the crazy thing, and the wonderful thing is that sometimes it only takes like 10 or 20 seconds.

Breathing in happiness and bringing in what I want to feel the opposite of the negative that I'm feeling. I want to feel angry, I want to feel happy that I'm not punching the guy in the face. Is that what we're saying? Kind of. Right? Yeah. I want to stab my partner in the throat, you know, because they're just driving me bonkers this holiday season. But I want to feel happy and happy. We got a chance to see Deepak Chopra a few months back here. And Even in Frozen 2, it talks about how the water flows through us. And every water bit of water we drink has flown through four or five people before it's shown up to us. Yucky. But anyway, it falls in line with that. We are energy. We are a living, moving battery and can adjust how our energy reacts, positive or negatively with our circumstances in our environment by simply taking the time to counter back, as you say that, breathing in your spirituality, breathing in your energy and where you want to feel. Right.

Right. And you're being specific to whatever the feeling is opposite. So instead of stuffing, repressing, you know, it's a family gathering. I have to be nice. And they're, oh, my God, I just want to rant right now. Right. Excuse yourself to the bathroom. Go take a walk outside. Go get into a room by yourself. That's. No one else is in the house. And figure out what the opposite is to you. I'm feeling really impatient with this person. Focus on patience. I'm feeling really irritated. Let's focus on being calm. Calmness. I'm going to breathe in calmness. And there's so many stories on how quick and how powerful this is. I guess I should give the money example first. A client of mine was going to get a loan at a bank, and they're, you know, they're leaving her and going back to the back room and like, no, we can't really do this. And she's like, but I really want this. And they're going back again, and she's waiting and she's realizing, like, this is not turning out how I'd like they were left or Waiting. And she's focused on breathing in the energy of abundance. I'm breathing in abundance and I'm breathing in ease because this is taking a long time. There's a lot of back and forth. There's no ease here in that. And did a couple of those different ones. The next time the bank manager came back, it was like, well, we couldn't get the computers to do this, but we figured how to do this manually and here. So we can do everything you're asking when it had been over an hour back and forth of like, well, maybe we can do this piece, but we can't. And now here's all we can do. Shifted like that odor of 5, 10 minutes.

Wow. That's the thing of recentering it and finding. You know, sometimes we just got to let nature find its own solution to things versus trying to force something. A lot of times I think a lot of people get stressed. I know. I've seen people, they try to force it one way and it's not gonna work. The minute they give up on trying to force it, suddenly it just happens.

Exactly, exactly. Well, like the saying goes, pushing the river upstream, but when you're forcing it, you're now saying this is what must happen. And you're getting angry about it, you're getting demanding about it, versus, like you mentioned before, allowing yourself to receive. Right.

So let's talk about this here. I mean, I love this. We could talk hours and hours and.

Hours back and forth.

And I'm loving this. Hopefully everybody out there listening this is enjoying this as well too. We talk about manifesting new things. So I think one of the biggest things we talk about new goals, new things. As everybody's studying New Year's resolutions, I think we've already discussed making sure you're stating exactly what you want to accomplish and focus on what you really want to accomplish, not the problems, because you'll attract more problems at that point. Being very, very specific in your goals. We did an episode a few weeks ago about smart goal setting, so it kind of falls in line with that. But also doing the little things to help you overcome those stressful situations and inviting success, inviting happiness in. Into you by simply just sitting there. I'm inviting happiness, I'm inviting calmness, I'm inviting success into my system and go on that route. And that's. I love that. I love that. I'm gonna. I'm gonna do some more of that stuff. I like it. I really love this stuff.

And like I said, everyone who hears this, even people who come to my spiritual classes. Think like, oh yeah, that's nice, I'll try it sometime. And it's like, do not underestimate the power of this and the power of this to shift things on a dime. I have multiple, multiple stories of people just, you know, at work going into taking a bathroom break and shifting things from boss being mad at me to boss thinking I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Right? Examples of a client whose college age daughter had been struggling with depression for years and even suicidal tendencies learning this technique and you made a list together of here's how I feel. What's the opposite? This is what you focus on every time you start into that downward spiral. And not only did it shift for her immediately, but over the course of years she had less episodes. She was able to catch herself faster to the point where she had no more episodes and didn't need medication anymore. Right. And this only course of two or three years, it shifted huge, let alone it shifting that day. So able to function and get out of bed, those types of things. Super, super powerful of taking the time to write down what I'm feeling to find out the opposite versus sometimes you just jump, okay, that deal fell through and now I feel poor. So I'm going to focus on abundance or I'm going to focus on wealth or I'm going to focus on success. It's like get specific on what you are actually needing right then because all those words are helpful but you want to do one at a time and do some of that again. It can take only 10 or 20 seconds. If it's something that that family member has been really irritating you for decades, you might need more like 10, 15, 30 minutes.

We've all got those, we've all got those people like that. Kim, what's the best way for people to follow up with your, connect with you to find out more information and talk with you about some of the coaching and things that you're doing to help people and entrepreneurs all across the country really change their lives. What's the best way for people to reach out to you have anything that's going on or upcoming that you'd like to share with our listeners?

Well, thank you. Yeah, the best way is through my website, which is bethechangenow.com from Gandhi's quote, we can't make change in our life unless we're taking action steps every day, no matter how little they are. And yeah, on the site you can definitely schedule to have a free complimentary 20 minute discovery session with me. So we can go over any questions you might have and get a game plan together for what you might like to do in your life. And we can go forward from there.

I love it. Thank you so much, guys and gals. You're listening out there struggling with anything. Do yourself a favor, reach out to Kim. BeTheChangeNOW.com take her up on it. If you've enjoyed this hour like I have, trust me, get another 20, 30 minutes. Focus solely on, on where you're at, what struggles you're dealing with. And Kim is just an awesome person, helped so many people. That's why we have her on here. She's been a great guest in other people's podcasts that I'm friends with. And we've been honored to have you on here today, Kim. So much great stuff. We're going to continue the conversation at a later date on another episode, definitely. Okay.

Yes, that would be fun. I had a blast. Thank you so much, Scott. And there's so many things we can talk about and we can delve into more of these pieces as well, so.

Oh, glad to have you. Glad to have it. It's been a pleasure and definitely an awesome time. I'm taking some things that I'm applying immediately actually, as well too, for you guys. So, guys and gals out there, as we always say, opportunity surrounds you all the time. It's up to you whether you want to reach out and grab a hold of it. And some of the things we discussed here today, some of the simple things, the box breathing and the, you know, just taking a second to breathe in success and how you feel and stuff like that. Do yourself a favor, reach out to her, reach out to Kim. Take her up on an easy free session for you. And if you can do anything in the new year, don't make hindsight 20 20. Make 2020 foresight this year towards success by taking actions now and going out and being the best that you can be. So go out, take some action, everybody. And we look forward to seeing you all at the top.

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