EP 558 – Developing A Major League Mindset To Get What You Want With Shirley Baldwin Owens

This is the no Closer show where you get the latest developments in distressed note investing and learn the secrets of how you can control millions of dollars worth of property for pennies on the dollar. Get educated and entertained by someone who has closed thousands of deals and lives to support you in achieving the same. Now here's your host, CEO of We Close notes, Scott Carson.

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening everybody. Welcome to this episode of the Noclose Show. As always, Scott Carson. Excited to be here with you today. And I'm just jacked up because, you know, over the last couple years we've done a really good job in helping provide content and great interviews from people. And we've got another really awesome interview lined up for you. From talking with so many people over the last really quarter and in 2020, people really struggle with this time of year trying to figure out what their message, what their motivation is and really what their direction. And I think it all comes down to knowing exactly what you want out of life, out of your business. And so I'm really honored to have a friend of mine that I met, golly over a year ago at the New Media Summit. Our buddy Steve Ulcer puts on an amazing event and this lady was just coming out with a book as a bestseller, getting booked out, but now she's got her own podcast so she's actually kicking butt and taking names. And I was honored to be a guest on her show recently. But one of the things that hit it off for us is we're huge baseball fans. I'm gonna be honest, I'm a little bit of peanut butter and jelly from some of her experiences and what she's done in the past. I'll let her tell you more about it, but our guest today is awesome Shirley Bowler Owens. Shirley is a best selling author, relationship expert in the host for own podcast get what you want with Shirley. Over the past 15 years, her clients have included major league baseball players, celebrities, children, women in transition and couples. She loves empowering individuals to look inside themselves as to who they are being in their relationship. In her book, get what yout Want from youm man, shirley speaks directly to women. She has a passion for inspiring women to embrace their feminine and to use that energy to create anything they want in their relationships from place of love and without manipulation. On her get what you want with Shirley podcast, she talks to individuals who have gotten what they wanted and tell how they did it. She's been featured on many radio show podcasts, news shows and other major media outlets. She's currently working on her second and third books in her get what yout Want series. So without further ado, the lady, the awesome, I would say get what you want icon out there, Ms. Shirley Owens is Martin. What's going on, Shirley? How you doing today?

Hey, good. Can I have you introduce me all the time?

You know what? If we need to, we'll record this and you can use that as, like.

Your play in Seriously, like, my personal.

Good morning. How's your morning going for everything? Going rocking all right for you?

Beautiful. It's raining in Arizona, and I love it.

That's a rarity, kind of for the most part. Now, you call Phoenix home, is that correct?

Yeah. Gilbert, south of Phoenix.

Gilbert, south of Phoenix. So talk a little about your 15 years of background and working with professionals. How'd you kind of get started in that? How did you get to where you're at today? Wow.

Okay. Crazy life growing up. So I won't start all the way back, but we moved a lot. I'm moving into my last and final hopefully house, which will be number 60. And I, yeah, just kind of had a crazy life. Had to make friends really quickly. Learned how to, through many, many mistakes, learned how to build relationships, and I learned how important they are. And so going back 15 years to baseball, I hosted an independent baseball player. And my kids had just brought home this, like, newspaper home from school, and there was a player on the front that said, we'll play for housing. And I was like, wait, what is this? Because I love baseball. Super excited to have the Golden Baseball League come to Mesa, which is just north of us. And I decided to go meet a kid. And he moved in with us for four months. And so as a result of that, we had front row seats at every game. And I went to 60 games that summer.

Wow.

And got to know all of the 19 teams that were there at that point. And the coaches were all former independent league players. And they were like, some were hall of Famers, and it was just a really good opportunity to learn a lot more about the game that I was already in love with. And towards the end of the season, one of the players on our team, not the one that was living with me, but one of the players on our team, I just kept thinking he was the best closer. And I. And I was like, he has five really solid pitches. Why is no one looking at him? So I saw a scout at a game, and he was like this crotchety old man. Sorry if you're listening, but true. Yeah. And I saw him down there, and he Was just like you would see in the movies, just, like, not willing to talk to me. I was a girl. I tapped him on his shoulder, and he was a scout for the Padres. And I. And I just was like, hey, how do I get this guy seen by you? And he said, oh, you're. And my conversation's over. And that was like, the third inning. By seventh inning, we were best friends. I got the coach to switch rotation. This guy stayed an extra day, invited, loved him, invited him to the Padre tryouts. And while we were at the tryouts, they had 181 players at that signing camp, something like that. And he kind of slipped a piece of paper through the fence, and he said, I want you to pick six players out of these, however many that were there. And so I stayed most of the day, and on my way out, I had written my six players down and handed them through the fence. And he said, called me that night, and he's like, how did you do this? You picked four of the six that we signed. And so it was really just like some kind of weird presence that I see. And I did that. They also signed my player, and he was minor league rookie of the year that year, and he played for the Padres for six years. So.

What's his name?

Manny Ayala. He ended up having some. Yeah, he ended up having some family. His. His dad died. He had some rough times, but he now owns a barber shop in California, and he's super successful, and I love watching him pass this. He's married and has a couple little girls, and anyway, she's beautiful, but it was my way. And somehow I ended up being like, they still call me 007. And it's just like. It was a. I had a group of friends, and they're still lifelong friends. They were. I started watching players and letting them know if somebody had what it took, that, you know, they always call it moxie. So anyway, that's the quick story on how I got into baseball. And then it just took off from there.

Awesome. Now, one of the things I think, baseball is such a mental game a lot of times. I think you would agree to that, too.

Oh, for sure.

Is that what you've seen is really. I mean, everybody has great skills and, you know, hitting the baseball is one of the hardest things to do and being great on your location with baseball. But we start getting into the minor leagues and things like that, everybody's pretty much a good player. I think it probably comes down to not being a head case. How the time are, knowing how to deal with those ups and downs because everybody goes through them. You know, I've got some friends that played in the major leagues, and they say that's one of the things that separates a lot of those that are good versus those that are great is the. Is the mind game. Would you agree to that?

I would agree. I mean, life is a. Is a mental game. You know, everything is with professional athletes. So I have a daughter that's a D1 scholarship Pac 12 athlete at ASG. She's a gymnast, and I had a son that played college basketball, and so I kind of knew that mind anyway. And they're. They're just superhuman to me. And working with, like, the best of the best, it's hard because something will happen on the field and they're trying to do everything they can to fix this on field performance, when honestly, a hundred percent of the time, there's something going off the. On off the field. And so I would just step in and help them work through what was going on off the field so that they could focus on what's going on the field. And more times than not, in anything that people are really, really good at, they usually come from struggle because we don't learn in a comfort zone. And then they also are really good at one thing. And so when other things enter their life, like family and. Or friends or kids or drugs or, you know, just whatever it is that enters their life, they don't know how to handle it because they've focused their whole life on one thing that goes with everyone but baseball. I know. So that was. You know, we would have struggles and there would be a kid that's going 104 miles an hour, but they're like, I go talk to him and see if he's even someone that we'd want to work with. And if they're not okay when they get in the big leagues and they have all that pressure, they're not going to be okay there.

I think a lot of the same thing on entrepreneurial side. We all have to kind of grow into that headspace that we want to get into. We always say, hey, if you want to make a million bucks, you make 100 grand first. Right? And that's the kind of the minor leagues of entrepreneurship growing up. The single double, triple aaa and a lot of similarities there. I think we all see that. We always talk about how. I know there's so many employers and offers try to separate personal life from their business life.

Right?

We know that's impossible, right?

It's so impossible.

What are some of the things that you love sitting down? Are there any specific questions you love to sit down or what's kind of your keys to success? When you're sitting down and talking with somebody, is there a process or questions that you're asking to see what they're dealing with or anything?

Yeah, I ask them how they think that they occur to other people. Like, first of all, like, who are you to yourself? Like, what do you think you are? What kind of a person do you think you are? And then. And then how do you occur to other people? So how do other people see you? And I think that's a huge thing because a lot of times there's a discrepancy. And if there's a discrepancy, then that means there's something going on with their alignment with themselves. And so, you know, that's a huge thing. A lot of people see themselves as honest, but then they'll be like, I don't think people see me that. Or so there's gotta be something that they're being that would have others see them a certain way, if that makes sense.

It does make sense where they think of one way, but then they think everybody else sees them as differently. It's not necessarily a chip on the shoulder, but they. They kind of. It's out of focus. I think when you can be exactly as you people see it, that makes it a lot easier. Right? Versus this inner conflict of people doing stuff that they. It's kind of the same thing. Hey, I'm going to a job and I don't really want to do what I'm doing. And maybe what I'm doing, that's why I'm not going to have success in it. Right.

I used to get really nervous about speaking, being on camera, and that's becoming less and less. And sometimes I'm even nervous, like by default, because that's how I've always been. But then once I get on, I'm a little bit easier. But what I learned is if I'm always myself 100% of the time, and I just talk about what I know and then, you know, there's not anything that I have to cover up or worry about. I'm just getting to have conversations with people. And so I think it's kind of like everything. If we are living the same all the time, and we are. We're coming from a place of alignment and integrity with ourselves, then when we show up in the world, it's the same way to everyone. So everybody sees us the Same if they don't and you're in that place and it's their stuff, not yours.

That's really great counsel there, you know, because that's the thing is showing up and being yourself. So many people try to be something else or trying to find out who they are. And I'm like, I tell people all the time, like, you can't. You don't be me. You're not gonna be Scott Carson. I gotta be Shirley. Go be Steph. Go be Dan. Go be Sebastian. You know, there's a reason that you're who you are. Just share who you are. Get that message out. Don't try to fake it, because then it'll come across and be double sided, right?

Well, yeah. And it's so crazy because I've always thought, you know, I'm kind of weird, I'm different. And then. But then people want to be like me, but I'll be like, oh, wait a minute, you want to be like me? Let me go see how so and so does it so that I can let you know how to be like me. Right? And so even the like the life coach word. I was never a life coach. That's what people call me, but I was never that. I just was a person who had been through a bunch of stuff and figured out how to get through it and was helping other people get through that same stuff. And so. But then it's like, oh, now you, oh, your title is life coach. So now you have to act like a life coach. You have to ask certain questions or you have to be this certain way. And then there's their schools on life coaching. But it's like so and so does it this way. So you go to her school. I love looking at the world differently. And that is like every single one of us are here for a purpose. We're all just our own selves and we're all trying to figure out and that's why one diet doesn't work or one plan doesn't work or, you know, and so entrepreneurialism so hard, you know, this. It's hard because we're not following in the path of someone else. We're like in this jungle cutting down trees and, you know, making our own path and then walking it and then being worried and not knowing when you're going to get done. But like, instead of create, you know, following someone else's path. So there are good things to following others paths like yours and mine, but you find what resonates with you and then that's where you Go. And a lot of what I do, it has come from someone else's forged path, whether good or bad or, you know, I've learned, I put it in my toolkit. So yeah, I love it. I think we're all trying to be something that we can't be because we're us.

I agree totally. As you're talking there, I'm literally thinking about my favorite quote out there from Ralph Waldo Emerson, you know, and I think you probably enjoy that quote as well too, based on everything you said. You almost quoted it directly. You want to go where there's a path to go. There's no path. And leave a trail, you know. Yeah, it's one of the things that I think, especially the last 10 plus years and doing what I do since we were in very niche aspect, didn't really exist over 10 years ago. And that's one of the things I'm like, listen, hey, you got to go out. And we made our mistakes plenty along the way. And you learn more from mistakes. Now with you sitting down and working with and coaching, we use the, I'm going to say mind coaches versus life coach. I think a little bit here. Where do you see people that you're sitting down with? Entrepreneurships or women or men too, because I know you work with both. But where do you see the two biggest gaps when they're not getting what they want or they're struggling or they're frustrated with what's going on in life? I mean, obviously the alignment is the important thing, but is there something else that you see a lot of the time?

Well, I think integrity, like we think of integrity as what the world has told us is integral instead of what. What is integral for ourselves. So that's one of the things people maybe don't even understand it. And then commitment, I think commitment's a huge thing and that's just doing whatever it takes to get what you want or to get to that place. And oftentimes we commit kind of haphazardly to people or and not really think about what we can really commit to ourselves. And for instance, I've talked about this a lot lately. I don't even know why, but two years ago I went on a keto diet. I wanted all the benefits that I heard that came from that. And I made a commitment to myself and I started my keto diet. And then I started reading about it after I started it. And then I realized there was no food in my house that I could eat. And I remember like it was probably like 4 o' clock in the afternoon. And I don't remember why I couldn't get to the store. My husband and others were like, why would you do that? Like, why don't you just start tomorrow? But I had committed to myself, and I didn't want to go back on that commitment. And then I ended up doing that for a year and a half, eating that way. And I didn't ever cheat because I had committed to myself. But I often hear people say, oh, I need a diet or I need to do this or I need to do that, but I can't because I'm home alone a lot and I'll cheat, or because, you know, there's all these excuses and it's so easy when you commit to something. And I'm not saying that I haven't had things that I have done that with, because I have, but that's why I learned that, right? So commitment gives us power to continue to add things to our plate that we can commit to. And, you know, just so from that place of that diet, I had all this power. I was like, oh, I have power over food. And now I'm going to write a book, and then I'm going to, you know, go learn how to be a podcaster. And then I'm going to. I start writing articles and became the expert. And so now I'm like relationship expert, you know, And I thought a lot of that came from a place where I was really low and down, but I committed to one thing. And so I think oftentimes that's what's missing is just that commitment to ourselves.

Oh, I think that's such valuable insight there because I think that's a lot of people. A lot of people struggle with patience and waiting for stuff to work out. I mean, we're in such an instant gratification diet or world, you know, get it straight on my phone or get delivered directly to me. Before too long, we're going to have Spooner. You know, it's a new app. I'm going to have, like, rides along with the Uber guy, and then they're going to feed you.

I love it.

But that's the thing nobody wants to put in is not. It's being committed. It means being in for the long haul. I mean, you're going to trip up, but not killing yourself or getting down yourself because you're not having the success that you want. And I think so many people struggle with that. I think we see that in relationships. We see that with people on that journey. People want to get straight To I've seen it with a lot of interns. I've had people like, well, I want to make 70 grand a year. I'm like, well, you have no work experience. Yeah. You have a degree but you have no work experience. Or we deal that with investors. Like, I want to close on 50 deals in the first year. I'm like, well, wait a second, you need to close on one first.

Right. And here's the thing. Commitment doesn't necessarily mean that the results are going to be there. We have to commit regardless of the results. I actually did not lose very much weight on that diet that I was on for a year and a half. But I had committed and I felt better. And I don't know that it was felt better because of that, the food I was eating or if I felt better because I was committed to myself. So commitment doesn't mean that the results are going to be there. And I think oftentimes we pair those two together.

Yeah, I think that we expect one thing. If I keep doing this, it's going to show up. Well, you know, you gave it anyway. It doesn't, you know, everybody has a different timeline for success and things like that. So it's also not just about being committed. It's committed is not just an action thing. It's a mindset thing. I think a lot of people are weak minded because they want to lose weight or they want to go to the gym and we let excuses kind of dive into what we want to accomplish and it's just not a priority for us.

Right, Right. I have my daughter that's a gymnast. She's taught me a lot. She's 21, she just turned 21. But she always says there's no excuses. Like she would wake up at 104 temperature and would not. She still like, I have to go to school, mom, and I have to go to gym and I have to, I have to, I have to. And I. And I would tell her, you have 104 fever, you can't. And she like, that's just an excuse. Like I can go there. And oftentimes she would go to gym and lay on the floor with a high temperature, but she wanted to get her 97% there. And you know, that got her to being 14th in the nation at one time and that got her this scholarship and she wasn't a natural. This came hard for her. And I see that in a lot of athletes, you know, going back to just, even baseball players. Like, it's a commitment what I'm doing right now is a commitment. What you're doing right now is a commitment. I'm excited about, you know, your. The things that you have coming up to teach other podcasters too. I think it's super. It's important that we learn all these little things along the way, and we all have something to offer and something that might resonate with someone. So.

So I have been pushing that off for a little while. You know, like the whole go. I look at my calendar and I have a big calendar here, and I had, okay, we're going to do an online podcasting summit. We're going to do it in November. No, actually October. We're doing the end of October. Oh, I wasn't committed to it. It got pushed back to December. Oh, no, not committed to it. And I was finally over the holidays. December 27th is like, I got to quit putting this off. I want to do this. I want to add to it. So December 27, I started the website on an afternoon during the holidays watching, and I was like, okay, I am committed now to this. And every day I've spent time being committed on that, along with other things that we're working on. But that's the thing is people ask, you know, talk about the podcast and how did we get to 500 plus episodes? I'm like, that's because I'm committed. Every day when I come in, I'm committed to my craft. Just like your daughter was. She wanted to be there 97% of the time or more. Committed that you're committed to showing up for those players. You're committed to talking with them. You're committing to working with people. You have to just not go 50% and meet you halfway. You've got to go the full way with anything that you're looking at doing. You can't. I make the analogy. Can't learn how to swim by just dipping your toe in the pool. You've got to dive in.

Exactly. And there's always something. There's always something that comes up. My son is 5, 9, and he played college basketball, but he was out there every day in rain, or I would say snow, but we don't have snow here. But in rain or heat, 120 degree heat. Yeah. Throwing his thousand hoops a day. And so I launched my podcast the same day that I had a full hip replacement. And so many people were like, why are you doing this? Is it like some publicity thing? Or. I'm like, no, I committed to launching my podcast on that day, and I committed to surgery on that day. And I kept thinking of all the different ways around this husband on my phone next to my bed, you know, typing in all of my thank you so much heart. He's like, oh, my gosh, you wanted me to put a heart after every single person, and it didn't matter. Like, I kind of don't remember that day, but I do know that I committed to doing it. So it was like, all right, we do whatever it takes. And there will always be something that comes up that gets in your way unless you set your mind on it and do what it takes to achieve it. I think that's one of the biggest things that we can learn. I know that, like, we kind of got in a huge segue, and that's what we've been talking about, but that's super important. Just commitment.

I agree. One of the things that I'm a big fan of, a local Arizona author out there who's well known across the country, who is a co author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Sharon Lechter Calls Arizona Home. But she wrote a book or was given a book by the Napoleon Hill Foundation. You know, think and Grow Rich. But this is Quitting the Devil, which is basically rereading it. Talks a lot about that focus. Oh, yeah. Love it. I mean, I think those that are most successful. We get so much stuff thrown at us. Different opportunities, different events, different excuses, different hardships, different hurdles that we have happening, and it's hard to stay focused. I mean, we've gone through some issues here in the last six months with things. We've had some deals that have gone south that we've worked through. And just keep plugging at it. Just keep plugging at it. Just keep plugging at it. Just being committed to the process and knowing that, hey, there's light at the end of the tunnel. Our goal, where we want to get is there. The tunnel might end up being a little bit longer than we expected, but we're committed to making things work and coming out a better person, a better entrepreneur on the back end side. And I think a lot of people, in the face of adversity, they just fold. They just give up. Oh, I can't do that. That's sad. And you see that with relationships, too. People, they're not mirror images. We don't date or we're not with the person that's exactly like us, because then it would be conflict. Right?

Right. And I. I see relationships. So I've been in many. I have failed many times. And the thing that I've learned is that there Needs to be workability. And so it doesn't matter. Like, if you think about Elon Musk, Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs, like, name anyone who is insanely successful in life and then go look at their backstory, right? There's a lot. You cannot grow from a place of comfort. And the other thing that people say to me all the time is, you know, this whole grass is greener thing. And I'm like, yeah, but what makes grass green? Because in Arizona, what makes our grass green is manure. We have to have a lot of manure on our grass to make it green, especially in the winter. And so you have to put in the time, right? You have to put in the time and energy. But super important is to just know that we're always looking at this. As soon as this gets done, I'll be better. I'll be good. As soon as this gets over. As soon as we get past this, I just gotta get past this week, or I just gotta get past this day or just gotta get past this month. And we look at it as, like, there's something. There's some, like, you say this tunnel. The light at the end of the tunnel, and you're like, the light at the end of the tunnel. What even is that? It's just like a break before the next tunnel. You know, there. There's always something. And when we can come from a place of just realizing that we just need to take each day at a time or take each month at a time, and there's always gonna be something. So it's. How quick can we get through that something? And who do we ch to be in our life that can work through that with us? And so in relationships, and you and I have a relationship, you know, like, everything in our life is a relationship. With our cars, even, like, I have crazy stories that, you know, with your animal, with your. With your cat, we have relationships with every single thing. And so when you can learn to navigate relationships, you learn to navigate life.

That's really great stuff there. I like the first part, too. Are you saying that we all have to deal with shit?

Yeah, pretty much.

To make the grass green? Exactly. Right? But that's the thing. And I was talking to somebody other day, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, life's so hard. Like, hey, it's. Life is, in the words of a full metal Jacket, life is a big shit sandwich, and sometimes we all got to take a bite.

And life is what you want it to be. If you want it to be hard, just say it's hard every day. You know, we can find evidence in every single thing. I had two hip surgeries last year. I was on crutches for seven months. My daughter got married. One of my kids went through something super hard. Two of my kids went through something really hard in their life. Like, there were so many things going on. Oh, yeah, I launched a podcast. I got to go to Scotland. Then I got to go to Ireland. Like, yeah, we have all these really positive things mixed with negative things, and we can find evidence in whatever we want to find evidences in. So when you say, oh, life is hard and you live in that place of life is hard, then guess what? Life is going to be really hard. I feel like I have the most blessed life of all time, but I hear all the time, oh, my gosh, how do you do it? Like, how do you get. How are you doing this? And it's just like, what do you mean? Like, how am I living happy and enjoying my life every single day? Yeah, it's easy. It's just a choice. And so, yeah, all of the things that come out of at us, like the adversity, I just take it and bring it and like, eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and then just enjoy life. And so, yeah, you can find evidence in whatever you're searching for. And that's how it is in relationships too. If you can want to find bad your spouse or in your significant other, you're going to find it. And if you want to find good, you're going to find it. So what do you choose to focus.

On that's such a. That's a really good start because everybody has good, everybody has bad. And those that focus on the bad, you can tell that they just have a rough time with life and everything else every day, you know, and those every day, you know, you're just. Those are the toxic people that really take energy out of there and they take the, you know, they take the air with you.

Yeah.

You know, if you find yourself honing to that, what are some things that you would recommend for those that maybe aren't a Debbie Downer, but they kind of, kind of have that little bit of that mindset a little bit.

Sometimes I would say, like, look at your life, like, look at your mindset. Because the other thing is biologically, endorphins are released in hard times and in positive times. Right. Some people tend to get addicted to that drama, to the negativity, to that victim mentality. And when you're addicted to that, you're still. You're wanting that release all the time. Just. Just like people that are high on life and, you know, just constantly looking for adventures and fun and excitement. And so I would say, like, take a look at your life. If it's not what you want it to be, look, go inside. You know, what are you looking for? How are you creating? Where are you creating? Because if you're not creating, you're creating. So if you don't wake up in the morning and you don't have to do it exactly like me, but if you don't wake up in the morning and set an intention of, today's gonna be an amazing day. Regardless, that day is gonna come. The sun's gonna rise, the hours are gonna pass, the sun's gonna set, the night's gonna come. It anyway, what do you choose to do with it? And if you do nothing, life happens to you. So you can happen to life or life can happen to you. So I would say if you are not getting what you want and you're not happy with where you are, take a look inside because you have all the power. And I really believe that I can speak from a place of. I have had so many negative hardship. You know, things happen and they're happening anyway, right? We can enjoy it or we cannot enjoy it. We can be happy or sad in that place. And so I think that's super important to just look at yourself. Who are you being that would have the world around you be the way it is?

That's true. Because, I mean, we have bad things happen in the office here. And I'm like, hey, okay, you got 30 seconds to bitch about it. And let's move on. Let's find that line in.

Yeah, I'm not saying to shove it down either, because that just, like, creates a whole nother thing. Like, get it up, bring it up, go through it, feel the pain. When my son was 10, he came home and he was just, like, bleeding all down his leg. And I was like, you got to come in and let me clean that up. And are you okay? And he's like, mom, it's just pain. Pain is just another feeling. And I've had to feed that back to him over the years. But it is like, it's just another feeling. How are we going to deal with it? What are we going to. You know, how, How. What are we going to learn? Learn fast. Because I'm like, just learn it. I tell people all the time, you're going to learn the hard way or the easy way, whatever you choose. Because if you don't learn it by looking at someone else or watching someone else. The universe is going to hand you something and you're going to learn it anyway. So how many times you have to go through something to learn it?

Yeah, it's always easier to kind of learn it from somebody who's been down that path or take that versus trying to do it yourself. And school of hard knocks is an expensive tuition.

Oh, I know. I've been there.

So going around Ireland on crutches was that.

Oh, no. I went through Scotland and England on crutches for 10 days. And in Europe, you can't. You have. You pretty much walk everywhere. Right. And it's my first time. I had no clue. So, I mean, I did stairs. I did every single rickety street, miles and miles a day, and I loved every minute of it. It was just fun. Easy to get through the airport. Ireland, I forgot my crutches. I know that sounds like completely, completely dumb and it was. But I ended up. I don't know, there's just magic there. So that's the other thing is I'm always just like, hey, I'm just gonna be one with the earth or, you know, like, be one with whatever's happening. I'm just gonna live through the pain. And I. I'll tell you, like, I was struggling getting through Costco here, but I went to Ireland and I hiked stairs and haunted castles. I hiked through woods to get to them. And the whole. And there were times where I was like, I don't know if I can go anymore, but if I don't, then I'm just stuck in the middle of the woods next to Haunted Castle. So I got it, you know, and I just pushed through and I learned so much. They're just pushing through pain and, oh, yeah, it was one of the best things I've ever done in all my life, so.

Well, that's the thing, is that sometimes we experience pain or the fear would keep people from doing anything. And a lot of times the fear is less than we. It actually turns out to be a false evidence. Appearing real is what you. They always say fear runs for it. And oftentimes we die a million times in our mind or give up in our mind. When we get down to actually taking action, it's a whole lot easier than we think it is to. To be out there. I think that's a lot of relationship struggle going that next level or taking it because, like, oh, they won't, you know, they won't talk to me or they won't deal with me, you know, what matter it is, you know, they won't sell to me, you know, or they won't fund my deal. You know, you've just got to reach out and ask and take that action. Right.

So you've heard, like, fear of the pain of the past, fear of the future, right? Everyone's heard that. Well, I would go like, one step further, that if you do not deal with what's present, it gets filed in the future, not the past. So we think about, oh, it's just the past. Well, it's not the past until you deal with it. When you deal with it, you can file it in the past, but if you don't deal with gets filed to the future and it comes up again and again and again. And so I love living in the present, but I also love going to, you know, going in the past and pulling things up and like, cleaning up, like sweeping out your corners, cleaning up any situation or a lot of times in relationships, it's, you know, there's years of infidelity or unintegral, you know, behavior. And it's interesting because I try to, like, I do everything in visuals in my mind, pictures. And so I imagine a room, and I think of a pile of clothes in the room, and that's, like, overwhelming. But if you take, like, one piece of clothing and in the end you have a clean room and you sweep out the corners and you vacuum it, you bleach it, and then you. You two get to go in and decorate anything any way you want. If I had Learned this, like, 20 years ago, life would be different. But it's working through. It's just working through that. Demi Moore recently and Ashton Kutcher, they're kind of a big. Right. Well, she talked about bricks on her shoulders, and I. And I thought about this whole thing, and like, every time we have something, we pile this brick on our shoulder. We pile a brick. We pile a brick. And then we're always, like, one brick away from everything crashing down on us. So if we can work through each thing at a time or take one brick off at a time by cleaning up your stuff, like just cleaning up all of that integral stuff. Then when a big, heavy brick comes, we're like, oh, this is light, because it's the only one on my shoulders, and so we can work through it. That was something that was hard for me to learn over the years because I had a lot of stuff from childhood and a lot of things that I was just carrying. But to be able to Let it all go. And then just do one thing at a time. It's like procrastinating our problems. When we just work through each one, then our future is just so clear and bright. And then anything that comes up that seems super hard, it just isn't that hard anymore.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh, that's so great. If you can reach. That's such a great analogy of cleaning out your room. One thing at a time, one relationship. Just to reaching out. I mean, hey, I'm sorry sorry went wrong, or sorry it went this way. And life is so much better, you know, when you can actually look a person in the eye. You've been through trials and tribulations because everybody knows everybody's not perfect. I won't say confessing to it, but vocalizing it. Hey, I'm sorry. You're sorry. Hey, let's just move on. Goes a long way to healing. Sleeping better at night and not having to carry all this extra baggage with you or bricks with you as you're walking down the road.

Right, Right. For sure. I believe that we can create whatever we want in our life. And I know that I have. And I've seen others around me do that. And I've seen others who've been through even way harder things than I've been through be able to clean up their life and create something going forward. That's just beautiful.

Tell us about the book, the get what you want book. And then you've got two more coming out. So tell us about the first one.

So it is get what you want from your man. And I did not want that title. It really kind of describes who I'm not more than who I am. And. But I remember I hired a book coach, Angela Lauria. She's awesome. Anyway, I. She just wanted me to have this title. I was like, oh, it just feels so. It was just, like, so painful for me to have this title. But what I realized is I meet women where they're at, right? So we're all kind of like, well, what can I get? I need more. I want more. And, oh, this is the book. And I'll tell you what, this is the book on how to get more, but it's not what you think. So I meet people where they're at, and I take them on this journey. Women in this book. I take them on a journey on how they can get what they want from a place of love and kindness and not manipulation and head games. So that title has got me a ton of sales, and I've realized that it's been a really good hook grabber for people. And then when people take the journey, they're not just like, oh, I got what I want, they're like, thank you. Because this helped me get what I want in everything. And not just from my man, my husband. I remember him first saying like, I feel like this is the playbook on me, but I'm okay with it because he loves who I am. And so it's more fun to hear him talk about it than me because. But. And so then my next two books. I'm actually in the process of writing a few, but my publisher wanted me to write two this year. And so one of them is on business and we haven't quite come up with whether it's get what you want from your job, career, employer, employee, we don't know yet. But it's about creating relationships in business and getting what you want ultimately. And then the other is get what you want from your kids. And I have some online programs coming up about getting to be able to speak to your teenagers. We all want to have good relationships. I love teenagers. Most people think that I'm crazy, but I loved them and I'm super close with my kids and I think that it's super important to be able to create that relationship. Those are like in our home are the most important relationships we can create. Which going back to the beginning in baseball creates everything better in the world. With our jobs, with our sports, with our hobbies, with anything that we do when we what's going on off the field is taken care of, then on field performance is better.

Did you find that providing a place for somebody to crash is a lot better than splitting an apartment? Sleeping on air mattresses? We've heard stories like that where they're splitting an apartment and they're just barely getting by on the off times when they're not at the park, working out or anything like that?

Yeah, for sure. Like having a family around them and meals and yes, for sure. And independent baseball is really, you know, their own little niche, but they definitely have host families and depending on the league, it's different. Sometimes they will set them up in like hotels and for sure they do better when they're living with families. And yeah, feeling a little love. Everybody feels better with love. Right? Right.

Well, that's what I say. As an entrepreneur, it's often a lonely journey of going and hunting your craft and getting better. But if you can surround yourself with like minded people or even people that are different from you a little bit, get that Outside the box kind of view on your instead of being hit by the trees, you can have somebody look at the forest.

Yeah, you and I talked about that on my show and I expanded on my next show after that. But I think networking is huge and that's what we are doing right now. Right. We met at a networking event and we are networking with each other and yeah, surrounding yourself by like you say like minded people or people that level us up. It's so important.

Totally is. Shirley, what's the now do you just work with people in Arizona? You work with people all across the country?

I work with people I even have in other place in the world. So yeah, I work with anybody now that we have zoom. It used to be that I'd have to fly places or I could keep it really remotely. But yeah, now it's everywhere and I work with a lot of people in a lot of different aspects.

Awesome. What's the best way for them to get ahold of if our audience in notenation and crossword radio networks want to reach out to you to work with you or talk with you a bit more about their situations and see if.

It'S a fit, they're welcome to send me a message on my email which is shirleyetwhatyouantguru.com My website is www.getwyouwantguru.com Facebook Shirley Baldwin Owens Instagram SF Baldwin 1 I have messages coming from all different places. I'm so happy to answer. Talk to anybody and free consult all the time too.

Yeah, get what you want guru.com make it the easiest one there for everybody out there. And I guys and gals out there highly recommend you go check out her podc so well worth it. You'll get so many great nuggets from it. Get what you want with Shirley. It's on anywhere that there's your podcasts are played. And then of course go out and check the book. Buy out the book. It's not just a playbook for Shirley's husband to help you out there and really dive into it. Just it's a value valuable tool. I know one things a lot of people want to focus on is taking things to the next level, doing things bigger and you can't do it alone. You've got to grow yourself. You've got to grow your network. And the more the way I look back, the most growth I've had and experience and continue to do is when I've really leveraged great relationships and made it win. And so if you're struggling with relationships. I don't care if it's with vendors, investors, people, friends, family. Reach out and talk to Shirley to see and she'll help you get what you want. Shirley, thank you so much for coming on the Nook Closure show and sharing so many great stories and nuggets out there. And you just keep rocking it, really kicking ass and taking names. Okay?

Thank you, Scott. You're the best. I'm so grateful to be in your network, too. I love it. You're wonderful.

Well, we gotta. We gotta figure out. Because we've got networks of people all across the country. We gotta figure out a time we just get together and hang out some, don't we do.

We do. For sure.

Awesome. All right, guys and gals, that's going to be all for this episode, like you said. Check out getwhatyouwantguru.com to Schedule A, as she said, a complimentary consultation to talk to, see if it fit. Take advantage of that. She is awesome, what she does. You can tell she's got a big passion. Probably, if anything, it's just good 30 minutes of talking about baseball. Why not, right? We'll see you on the top, everybody. Have a great day. Bye, Sam.