EP 584 – Unearthing Your Inner Superpower In A Time Of Chaos With Michelle Pierson Young

Foreign this is the no Closers show where you get the latest developments in distressed note investing and learn the secrets of how you can control millions of dollars worth of property for pennies on the dollar. Get educated and entertained by someone who has closed thousands of deals and lives to support you in achieving the same. Now here's your host CEO of We Close Notes, Scott Carson. Hey, Note Nation, thank you as always for listening and subscribing to the Note Closer podcast. While you're at it, go ahead and click on over and leave us a five star review if you don't mind. But honored to have on this episode our good friend Michelle Pearson Young, who's a life coach who works with entrepreneurs, male and female entrepreneurs all across the country. And she's going to come on today and talk about how to discover and use your superpower in a time of chaos. I know Michelle for years. She's been through several chaotic times in her life and has evolved into really this beautiful creature who's really doing a great job of helping others cope with their issues, their stress and everything that's going on in the world these days. So definitely you'll want to listen in if you are going through a tough time, take some notes. If you know somebody who's going through a tough time, this would be a great episode for them to listen to. So listen, subscribe and we look forward to seeing you on the top, everybody, thanks. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, everybody. Welcome to this episode of the Note Closure Show. As always, Scott Carson, Excited to be here today and I know many of you guys are in quarantine land and that we could be doing this from like a rubber suit with mask and gloves if you're in person. A lot of people are stressed the F out because of a variety of things. They're either a can't go to work, they've been laid off, their companies have shut down temporarily, or they're just kind of suffering from the stress of this whole thing. They're too busy, I say programming their minds with negativity versus like, okay, realize what's going on, realize the situation and make the best of it. So I was really excited for today's guest. She's a good friend, known her for years. She is an amazing individual and I wanted to bring her on hopefully to share a little bit insight how people can overcome their fears and really kind of maybe make some lemonades out of the lemons that we're all dealing with right now. So this lady is awesome. She spent her life learning people personality Types and entrepreneurialism. Michelle Pearson Young is our special guest. She's got a 30 year career running various organizations and working with diverse teams. Has informed her teaching and coaching style extensively. Today her clients are women as well as men. Her communication bridges the differences between sexes and brings groups and teams to common ground. And I think that's what a lot of us need. We need to kind of come together wherever we're at in the country or in the world and come together in common ground. So she's got experience in collaborative 33 plus years of marriage informs her work at the core level. Together, she and her husband Aaron share four children, children's partners, and six yes, sassy grandchildren and also a herd of goats. So you've got a female goat herder right here on the call today, which I always like to joke a little about things. So welcome to the no Clues show for the second time. Michelle.

This is the second time I'm super excited to be invited back. And the goats aren't a joke. We are now milking the goats.

You don't want to give the baby kids too much milk because they can get sick and go from there. I learned that from Erin.

There's a whole goat lore. You got to know your goat lore.

That's awesome. Well, greatest of all time lore. Let's talk about that a little bit. So welcome, Michelle. We're excited to have you here. I'm sure you're probably dealing with your coaching and talking with clients and I don't want to say talking them off of ledges a little bit, but I think there's a lot of scare and fear going on out in the country in the world right now. Huh.

So I'm super fascinated because I actually kind of want to hear what you're hearing too. And this is. Okay, so first of all, this is going to be a. It's just hilarious. But I got on the phone with one of my clients last week and I said, okay, I haven't talked to you in a couple of weeks. Things are changing at a. I mean, we thought life was changing a rapid pace before today. It's like, how are we today? Because things have changed since yesterday. So anyway, so last week I get on the phone with a client or I got on a zoom call with a client and I said, okay, tell me how you're doing. I gotta, gotta have that neutral voice. And she goes, I'm doing fine. And I was like, well, I know your husband has a disease that makes him susceptible, but you're feeling okay about things and she goes, meh. I figure you'll tell me if I should worry. And I'm like, this is not a good plan. This is not a good emergency plan. I mean, thank you for the vote of confidence, but no. Yeah. So, Scott, it's really been an interesting couple of weeks for everybody. But as I talk with people, there's actually a lot less fear than I expected, especially from my clients. So what about you?

So we deal with a lot of people that are like, Austin, we just went down on lockdown, basically at midnight last night in quarantine. San Antonio did the same thing. Dallas did it a week ago. I've got so many small business owner friends around the area here from the local Chinese restaurant that they're really stressed out. They can't afford to pay their rent because it's been so slow. They're trying to do anything they can to drive business in. I walked in my office yesterday really fast before the quarantine, and the two girls at the front desk were stressed out because they basically laid. The company, laid off staff statewide except for them in Austin. And so they had to let people go because they're going to be closed down for a month and the company doesn't want to pay salaries.

You know, let's drill down on that, shall we? So, okay, so this is my entry. And you know how I like to. I love to talk and I love to talk about this stuff because bad stuff happen sometimes. And that's. I think that's one of the, like, the most thing. Most important thing that we can say is bad things happen sometimes. And it's not fair and it's super scary. Those. What I just said, I'm speaking purely from fact. And a lot of times we. I remember years ago, I'd gone to Guatemala, to a place called Antigua, Guatemala. And every day I would walk, like, through alleys and lanes and places to go to school because I was studying Spanish. This is when I was in my 30s. And because most people in their 30s think, hey, I've got four kids. Why don't I go to Guatemala for two weeks? But anyway, so I go there. And every day on the way to the school, I passed a coffin store. It was literally a store full of coffins. And one day during the process of that two weeks, there was this tiny coffin. It was like the top one, right? It was all like an ascending order. The very top one is this very small, I mean, for a baby coffin. And one day it was gone. And the reality of it struck me, and I thought in the American culture, we will a lot of times hear people say things like, wow, I almost died. I never want to get that close to death again. And it kind of makes you giggle because it's like, no one rides for free, friend. No one's getting off this ride for free. So that's the first thing that I think is really important to go. Bad stuff happens sometimes and people aren't okay. And it's not okay that bad things happen, except for it is because they just do. So when we can just go, this is a thing that is happening and I don't like it. It's not fair that the Chinese restaurant's having to hustle or people have been laid off because they didn't have seniority for whatever reason. I know my son is happily working hardcore hours right now and he's on staff. He is actually a beer distributor, but brewery that he does distribution for fired all of the hourly staff and it's only people that were on. What am I trying to say, Valerie? So he's very happy to be working his tail off, but it's not fair. Half of their tips are going through to the staff. That's not working at all. So that scary thing is happening. And scary. Being scared is a thing. And in addition to that, I think it's really important that nobody get on and go. We're going to be okay. What a great opportunity. Except for where there is some. And let's say it gently and kindly and honestly, whenever something happens, there is an opportunity in it. And as difficult as an opportunity as this is. So while people are in the midst of suffering, and there is suffering, there was a woman. So we live like you said, we have goats. So you can imagine it's not really a one lot house we live on. We've got all this property and neighbors are far, far away. And as I drove here to my husband's private office, just for the record, my son, who lives with us, and my husband and I are here. So no rul broken. There was a woman on the side of the road gathering cans. And at the risk of tooting my own horn, I actually turned my car around. I'd gone about another half a mile and I turned around and I got. Do I want to turn around? And I did. And she did need help. And it's not okay. She's not okay. So we noticed that that happens. But for all those of us who have a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs, and we're well, we're well, that gets a Little bit of a shift because it is difficult for everybody. You know, you and I just talked about our circumstances, of where we are in changing routines. And when I had a client say, I need to pause this morning, she let me know, and I was happy to work with her. But as difficult as things are, there's always an opportunity in them. They're, you know, the Chinese restaurant can look at it and go, how do we shave off the fat, if you will? Because there's always. I know that it's happening in my bank accounts. I've got more time on my hands. So I'm like, look at all those subscriptions to random stuff that I don't use. So I'm spending $20 a month on O Magazine, which I've literally never read in the seven years that I've had a subscription to it. How about, it's time to save 20 bucks a month? This isn't like stopping my spending, but there's shaving things that aren't serving us. And that's what this period of time for those of us who are fortunate enough to have the energy to listen to a podcast or record a podcast or whatever, it is great. There's a lot of opportunity going on right now.

Oprah thanks you for your donation for seven years.

Right. She's like, things are tough here. And just so glad that you find quality things in me. And if you could just keep it coming even if you don't read it. No, sorry, Oprah.

Well, that's the thing, too. So you have to give it a look at things. Try to do something that's different. Like, you've got to. You know, we've been reaching out to friends that are struggling, that are in the service industry. So we're not just waiting tables and restaurants, but also the dog walkers, the people that are working at the different parks or in tourism. We've all got friends and family members there. We've all had to probably take a look at your summer vacation plans and push them out. You said something. It's not fair. Life isn't fair.

It's straight up not fair. It's not fair that I'm relatively comfortable and there are people who are relatively uncomfortable. It's not fair. It just is. It is a fact. So this is where it gets super exciting. Is that so? It's a fact. So what do we want to do with those facts? And when we take all of the emotion out of facts and just look at them and say, yes, okay, absolutely. I agree with you. This isn't fair. I wonder. And I'll tell you what, those two words, Scott, those two words are solid freaking gold. And I'll tell you what, people invest in themselves with me all the time and I'm giving my best stuff away for free, and I'm giving it right now. Those two words, I wonder, have so much power and magic in them. So I wonder what I can do with this period of time. I wonder I've not been enjoying my job. I wonder what opportunities there are out for me. I have a very, very good friend and I don't want to give any details because I haven't been given permission to share, who's looking at some really unusual alternatives that are a significant improvement from the job that she lost and was suffering over. So it's not that it's easy. It's not that we're all like, what a great time to be alive team. It's just putting ourselves in a position where we can get neutral enough to go. I wonder how I can have a better life coming out of this than the one I had going in. And yeah, for a lot of people out there, it's going to take a lot of work, but. Okay, do you mind that I'm just like yammering on because I have more stuff to say. You're good. Okay?

You're good. People get enough of me on the podcast. That's why you're here.

I kid you not, Scott. My kids and my in law kids will call me and they'll be like, hey, can I talk to you about something? And I will genuinely ask, which version of are you looking for, like a poor baby? Are you looking for a mom? What can I do? Or are you looking for a coach? Because I got all three and most times it's mom or I just want to complain. And sometimes it's coach. So that's. Of course she didn't come call me here. I could be a mom.

So anyway, you know, you are, you are. Every time we're around, you're the proverbial mom. You know, I am the mom.

I am.

Steph's always get the bag with like the medicinal, you know, let me pull this out. And I'm like. And I have to ask her that too. It's like, do you want me just to listen? Do you want Scott Carson the entrepreneur, or do you want me to be the boyfriend, you know, the significant other? What's the. How do you. How am I supposed to. What should I ask her before I respond?

I have to tell you one day. Aaron, Aaron Young for those of you who've listened to him, he's been on more than twice. Am I right? The day he said to me, we sat down at lunch together at a restaurant that is just behind me and he said, I really need you to be my coach right now. And I was like, ok, hold on, don't mind if I do. I was very excited. Ok, so what I was going to say is when we can get to that neutral zone. So when we are in scared out of our wits zone, really we can only be scared out of our wits. And that is what we are going to do. And it is ok, if you want to, if anybody wants to do that for a bit, absolutely do that. Absolutely, we do that. And then whenever you get bored of it, whenever you're tired of that, that neutral zone, that I wonder zone, and anything can happen there. The I wonder zone is where we get to look at it and go, I love my job, except for this one thing. I love my job, but there's this monster commute going on. Or I loathe my job, but I've never known how to make money at what I love doing. These are all questions that we can ask ourselves. Want to know one of my very favorite times to ask myself these questions? And it really goes to show the different ego states that people have. Because just before, like as I'm getting kind of sleepy and I'm laying in bed and I like that I don't fall asleep as soon as I get in bed, but I'm getting kind of sleepy and I'm all snuggled up in my favorite probably in utero position, laying in bed, and I think, I wonder. And that's when I start playing with the ideas. Because when I make myself the queen of England, I don't have that, like critical thinking. That's like, that's not a thing, sweet pea. You don't have the right pedigree. But just laying there and we get to play with all sorts of things, especially right before bed. Writing questions down before bed and then waking up in the morning and writing down answers, solutions, ideas. That I wonder piece puts us in a place where we become aware of, and this is really important, we become aware that there are more options out there. My mentor said to me, when you can only think of two alternatives, right, it's either I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. That's the classic two scenario. You know that you're thinking in a script and you're not thinking about what's Actually possible. So that I wonder thing is the next step for all of us to go. I wonder how I can not pay my mortgage for these two months and not have me really take it in the shorts or whatever it is. And then the second piece really is somebody said it. And honestly, she had way more street cred than I do. So it's going to sound a little off in my mouth, but she said, girl, I asked for something and she said, no, I think it was a server. And she goes, girl, she was Latina girl, close mouth, don't eat. You had to ask. And I was like. She simultaneously turned me down and encouraged me for saying it. So we have to ask what is possible? Hey, I can't pay my car payment this month. I wonder.

I love that. And that's the thing, is you have to try to look at different things. And really, I think one of the best things you can do is try to, I mean, even though you're quarantined, get out of the situation, get out of that script as you talked about, get out of your own mind a little bit. Go for a walk. You can still do that walking around the neighborhood.

Did you know there's literally something called nature deprivation?

Oh, I don't doubt that. Nature deprivation. I could see that.

Yeah, yeah. It's actually, it's a clinical issue, so. And I found, because honestly. Okay, so this is full disclosure. I actually called an old friend. I've known him since second grade, so basically for 100 years. And I, and I called him, it was his birthday yesterday, and I'd invited him into this meditation practice thing. And he said, hey, I'm going to get back into that. And I was like, was that a cluster or what? And he sits back and he goes, it was what you didn't do perfectly. I said, no, everything went haywire on me. We went to Spain. I was highway robbed, you know, I mean, and then all of a sudden I was like, it's 3 o' clock in the morning and I'm in Spain. And I'm like. And I'm going to say the D word, damn it, I have to do the meditation thing again. And so, and he goes, he says to me, you mean you're admitting that it didn't go well? And I was like, I was all over the place. I was just like a total screaming mess. So. And I think it's important that healthcare provider and screaming is an overstatement, that healthcare providers, coaches, people, people like yourself that are strong leaders in the community. It's okay for us to admit, hey, I kind of lost it a little bit. I think it's a relief for people to go, oh, you mean you got a little crazy? And it's like, yeah, I surely did. Mm. I straight up got a little weird.

Yeah, I'd agree to that. It's okay to admit that shit ain't going right all the time. Like, I had. My thing was Saturday. I had, like, morning. I got up, I'm like, I'm gonna go, let's go see if we can't find a chest freezer. And I go in, like, okay, first go by Best Buy. Now they're like, you can't come into the store. You gotta order online. And then we'll go get it for you. And like, okay, it looks like they sold out. Okay, let's go. Let's go to Lowe's. I go to Lowe's, the guy's like, ah, we've only got this one. It's a floor model, but you can't buy it. Although the guy yesterday sold a couple of floor models. And I'm like, why would you tell me that? You know what I mean? Tell me I can't have it. But somebody else, if I come and talk to some other idiot there, they can do it. And then I go to Home Depot. And the guy was just a smart ass, and he's like, yeah, till June, July. What are you thinking?

And I'm like, oh, no.

And Steph's like, being nice. And I'm like, I'm gonna leave before I say something ugly. Let's just get the F out of here. And I came home. I'm just pissed off. And Steph's downstairs. I'm like, do I feel like day drinking at noon? And she's like, I don't want to drink with you. I've already ordered you a chest freezer. It'll be here in, like, four days. I was like, oh, shit. I should have done to begin with. But I was like, I really got mad. I got irritated. And I really like what I dislike. And I think many people is all the over blowing it out of proportion. Yes, people are sick. Yes, people are dying, But I'm literally like the guy.

Also, 99.9% of the planet is not. And that's not that we don't love the 0.1%. It's not that we don't care. It's not that I'm not willing to stay home to protect the 0.1%. It's yes. So here's the thing. You Want to know what my Achilles hill in this whole thing is? I can't stand to go to the grocery store because I feel like I'm shopping in the Hunger Games, right? There's these, you know, these, like, squinty eyes. And I try. I tried to get. So my daughter was home with sick children, single mom. And I went to Costco, and I needed to get stuff for my household and for her household, and they just straight up would not let me. And I understood. I didn't get mad at. Out of them because they're like, it's policy, ma'. Am. And I'm like, not even a little bit. Do I look like I'm that person that's gonna go sell this bag of flour online? And they're like, we cannot allow it. So I. That's my. Like, I come home and I'm like, okay, I know it's only 10:30 in the morning, but day drinking, like you said. And I didn't. But it doesn't. It doesn't feel good. And I think it's important that we talk about that and go. When I come home from the grocery store or when I get mocked by the sales. The chest freezer sales guy, I feel bad inside. It doesn't feel very good. So just that acknowledgement of just going, yeah, we're all feeling weird. And I always say this is. You want to know if you hear something, I'm going to say it. You ready? You want to know what my superpower is? When shit gets weird, I'm on. Put Michelle on stage. Shit got weird. She's going to manage this. And that's what's happening right now, is that I'm having a lot of people call me. A lot of clients coming to me and going, hey, are you okay? And going, yeah, you know, most days I'm really good. You know, let's set some structure in place for you so you can feel good as much as you want.

Let's talk about that. Because I think that is what affects more people than anything we get. It's like, little kids do good with structure, right? They get up in the morning, they go into bed at specific times, they get a nap in the middle of the day, and structure is just blown all out the window. And parents are like, oh, my God, I gotta educate, entertain my kid. I just can't hire the school to drop it off.

Are those the best memes right now? It's like, I saw one of my cousins who has younger children. She's like, are you kidding me? The stores are out of toilet paper, but you can buy booze. Do parents not know what's gonna happen? Do you not see the writing on the wall to you?

Well, that's the thing. But I've seen people overcoming things. Like, I saw somebody the other day, a friend of mine who had a virtual play date for her, like 4 year old with her best friend via a MacBook. They did a zoom call like we're doing, and they had a virtual blender playing Barbie's on the coloring together. You know, Steph had the idea, like, hey, if all these parents are freaking out, why don't they do a zoom call with their kids and have one teacher teach math for the day or for an hour and they go on with reading or math or like, yeah.

I know some schools are doing that. And that's, that's. So here's the thing. When we talk about structure and we talk about the magic words, I wonder what, what we're really talking about. So when this all started going on, all of this, we started to see writing on the wall, right? It was like a big avalanche and we're like that ball rolling down the hill and we can see it gaining snow as it starts to roll down. We can all toward us. So I started to have, I've had in the past, anxiety issues. It's the reason, it's one of the most important reasons that I teach what I teach because I needed to learn it for me. Because I'll tell you what, I can spin any scenario out like no one's business. It's like Scott and Steph are coming into town. I wonder. And then I can be like, what if they come and they don't like the fact that there are stains in my carpet in that one bedroom? But why would they even go in there? And who are they to touch me? I can.

Or the stains on the couch from the cat pissing on it, or the fact that the Christmas tree is still up and it's freaking March 25th.

Which Christmas tree? So I've been able to spin these out so when we could see the writing on the wall, we could see something was coming toward us. I'm sitting on my couch. I can visualize it now. I'm sitting on my couch in our bedroom with Aaron. And I start to ask questions. I start to go, what do you think is happening? And I go all the way to. I told you Cormac McCarthy's the road. I go all the way there and it's like post apocalyptic. And I'm starting to Think about who would have bunkers. And I'm like, okay, why don't we reel that back in, Michelle? Why don't we reel that in? Because I don't think anybody really can prepare for that. But what can we prepare for? And that's when it started getting interesting. And so when we talk about structure and we talk about having a really good feeling, or not even a good feeling, but a solid ground, asking ourselves the question. So it's really, it's very, very methodical. And I was not a methodical person. Honestly, I had this real wackadoo childhood and it actually injured my brain. And so as I've done the work that I've done, as I've practiced the things that I preach, these sort of like, logical process sort of things come in for me and I love teaching them to people because anybody who's had some wonky stuff has kind of some injuries in there. And this kind of thing, this situation where we're out of control just explodes those things. It's really why I've had to bring myself back in going, nope, you're all good. You know the process. So talking about structure, it gets to look like anybody wants it to look. And that's the important thing. If I said, Scott, just have them go to my website, which I'll promote right now, michelle youngcoaching.com just have them go to my website and I'm going to give them a whole planner. I'm going to give them a planner on an apocalypse planner. I don't know if any of you were ever 14 in middle school and you got those planners and you're like, that is adorable. That is something else for me to write my next boyfriend's name on with my last name, too. And that's what we did with them. We don't want somebody else's planner. We want our own plan. So giving yourself structure that feels good to you and giving it to yourself in increments is number one. So number one, when you're providing structure for yourself, don't go to the magazines. I mean, unless you want to. Don't go to Pinterest unless you want to get ideas. Absolutely, do what you want to do. But that's exactly my point. Do go to Pinterest if you want and don't if you don't do. Get up at 6am if you want and get up at 10 if you want. There's not any moralistic experience that happens at 6:00am that does not happen at 10:00am there's just not there's no proven, there's no science behind that. So you get to make a structure. You get to make a schedule that feels good to you and is working toward the areas that you want to work toward. Listening to some, having somebody else give you a great idea, that's awesome. But you get to choose. So number one, make your own structure and number two, start making incremental steps. So remember, I went all the way to apocalypse and I'm like, okay, we're going to need to, we're going to need to trade in all the goats and get some maybe packing mules. I don't know. I don't know what would happen in that case. So once. So whatever, whatever it is that you think you would be your next best step. And let's be clear, this is a slow burn, team. Everybody listening to this knows this is a slow burn because we're all sitting at home going, it turns out I have time to learn how to poach the perfect egg and I'm going to take now two hours to do that. We didn't have those two hours. We didn't have them three weeks ago. We didn't have those two hours and now we do. So it's all changing and it's not all changing for the worst. Yeah, you might have some financial concerns, but what can you do about that right now? Oh, nothing you say. Then put it on your calendar for tomorrow morning when you can.

That's good. Yeah, and that's the thing with all the different jobs that are available out there right now, because you do have a transfer, not a wealth, but transfer of workforce from the tourism industry and the service industry going, hey, grocery stores are hiring. Amazon's hiring. I mean, Uber Eats is hiring. Those are not great yet. Maybe they're not great paying jobs, but at least something is better than nothing. And a lot of those things can be set off hours, especially at later in the day or in the evening for stocking or things like that. It still gives you the day to get some things done.

Exactly.

Put your plan in place to start embracing the suck of starting something new and failing forward on things and connecting with others that are in the same session.

It used to be that the success somebody was considered successful if they spent 50 years at a company and then they got their goals. Watch. And actually, this was actually many years ago. So my generation, I'm older than Scott. He's a young kid compared to me. Okay, youngish, you are, you're actually, you're in your 40s, right? Yeah, 42 yeah, I'm 10 years older, so different generation. Okay, whatever. Anyway, point is that like 10 years ago I read this article that said that was what success used to look like. And success now looks like two years in multiple industries over a period of time, giving you this broad base of experience. And that's what people are looking for right now is, well. And the truth is that broad base of experience is what makes us genius. We go, oh, you know, when I was working in the food industry, we used to do this, and now I'm working in the automotive industry. And we can transfer that experience over to this. And that's what makes people very valuable. So I do a program. When you go to my website, michelle youngcoaching.com there's actually a free program called 21 Day Life by Design. And I'm gonna tell you the juice behind it, because what studies show, this goes to you talking about people working for Uber Eats or working for a grocery store stocking, those kinds of things. So what studies show is that people get into a rut, or even, they might even call it their structure. I get up at this time, I make this for my meal, I exercise. This is the route that I take to work. When I go to work, I do these things. I come home, I make dinner, whatever the routine is, right? And people say that's my structure. But what it is is that it's their comfort zone that's not actually structured at all. And 21 Day Life by Design is really just a very easy 21 day program where you have 21 assignments to do different things. And those 21 assignments are specifically designed to have you do things differently. Well, guess what? The universe just handed everybody a 21 day life by design because you cannot do things the way you did things three weeks ago. You simply have been shoved out of the nest and it's time for us to fly. So when we look at that and go, isn't that interesting? A completely different animal than oh my Lord, what am I going to do? I don't know. How am I going to pay my bills? This is a different animal. And there's a time for that. We've already established that. But when we go to, I wonder what I could do that I would enjoy more than what I was doing, or the only thing that I can do is work these three hours a day. I wonder what I would want to do, what would I enjoy doing? What would bring value? I'll tell you what, I'm talking to a lot of coaches right now because I trained Coaches as well. I'm talking to a lot of them right now who are like, how do I start right now? Right now in this industry? And I'm going, this is a beautiful time to start because you start giving away. You just. I've been doing it for years. Give away your best stuff because right now people need it. They're not looking at necessarily buying it, but they need it. So give it away. You're then a resource. This is for. Actually, I'm got to give Karen Leland some credit here because I learned this from her this week. This is a good time for the people that come to you that you're normally supplying to come to you as a resource. There may not be money involved, but this will. This will change. We will get back in our zone. This is a great time to change lanes because nobody's making money. So why not start doing what you want to do and not make money instead of keep doing what you don't want to do and not make money?

Yeah, that's the big thing is, I mean, one of the things that we've been talking with people a lot on a regular basis, like, listen. Yes. Every full circle, trim your. You talked about this. Get rid of the O subscription. You look, I'm telling you right now, you don't have to worry about your mortgage or your rent payment for the most part, for the probably next 30 to 60 days.

Yep.

The while you're worried about paying that, it's probably more so that you're worried, hey, what do I do in 60 days? What I do in 90 days? What do I do in 6 months? This drags on and you can constantly keep waiting for Viggo Mortensen to show up at your door dragging a cart. Skeletor man with a little kid. Yeah, exactly. From the movie the Road. Or you can do, like you just said, start giving away stuff. If you've got a superpower or a talent, get online, share it with people. Share the resources, help out. If there's other people in your industry. A lot of people are looking for some sort of help because they maybe don't have people in their office anymore. They need somebody to do it virtually the va, get out and be a gopher. But we all have different superpowers. This is just the time that we're going through a toxic dump to figure out and grow those superpowers so that we don't end up looking like Deadpool and like a rotted avocado for a head. You know what I mean?

It really is. It's important that we note that there are people that are really suffering. It's important that we don't go, this is the best thing that ever happened because it's not for everybody. And that being said, it's recently come into really clear focus for me that two different things can happen at the same time, and they seem like they're opposing things, but they're not. And so the book A Tale of Two Cities starts out with, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. And I believe wholeheartedly that that's what we're looking at right now. And for those of us who are not struggling to stay al or to get the next meal in our mouths, we might be struggling to keep a roof over our heads, or we might be struggling in some other way. But for those of us who have those two things, this is a really beautiful time. I've talked to so many people who are like, you know what? My house is really clean. And I've been meaning to do this for years. I know that I'm doing projects. I would have been doing this podcast from home, but our Internet's too bad. But I changed my whole backdrop. I've had a terrible backdrop. And so I hung some stuff up, and I was like, I feel like a million bucks. I feel like I can podcast better now. So this is the best of times to look at things, to take some time, to do some resets, to figure out relationships. I'll tell you what. We could ignore a lot of things when we had distractions, but those distractions have been viciously and brutally ripped away from us. And I wonder. I wonder what good there may be in that.

That's the truth. Hopefully you love the one you're holed up with. For the most part. Steph's laughing from below. She heard that.

Yeah. Hope you have a. I'll tell you. So our middle son and his wife, and they have a new baby. And they live in an apartment in our house, but we share a kitchen. And I've noted because of we're around each other a lot more. A lot more. I've noted everybody's fairly tidy. Everybody's fairly well behaved. Okay, we can do this. It doesn't always end up that way. It's a time to talk, actually. And I will tell you the story, too. I want to tell you a story if we have time. It's fairly quick, but it actually goes to that. So if you are listening to this and you are struggling with the people that are around you, I want to tell a quick story. So Erin and I travel a lot, and we have had rotating families come and live with us because we have four kids, and that's how it works. And I've made it a rule at our house because I love coffee. I don't drink tons of it, but I drink it every day. And I've said, because we travel a lot, look, I'm buying the coffee, and I don't care that you drink my really good coffee, because I think it's a sin to not drink really good coffee. But I want one cup when I get home. That's all I need. So, because I mentioned there's a new baby at our house, we got back from our trip recently, and there was no coffee left in the house. And I was like. I was like. I mean, seriously, it was like I was an addict. I'm, like, walking, and I'm like, I'm sure there's one behind this door. And there wasn't anything there. How did you record that? I thought it was just in my pantry. So Scott was there, clearly. So, anyway, so I'm pounding around my kitchen, and Aaron kind of got. He was like, are you gonna flip out on the kids? And I'm like, no, I feel angry right now. I just had some feelings. Anyway, so I pounded around for a bit. And then later, a day or two later, I said to my family, hey, I'm sure something probably came up. And this is the part that I wanted to tell that story, because even in the best of circumstances, people tread on us. We're betrayed with coffee. I said, hey, I know that things probably came up, and you and I have had a conversation about this in the future, what I'd love to have happen is I will buy three bags of coffee before I go on a trip. And two of them are yours. Have them. The third one's mine. And my son said, noted. And that was the entire conversation. So I got to have my feelings, which. I'm sorry, Scott, what were my feelings again? I had my feelings.

Yeah.

That's how that morning was. Seriously, Erin's eyes were real big because I was swearing. It was the morning. There was no coffee. Don't blame me. Anyway, I had my feelings. And then we had a discussion about it, a reasonable discussion, where I said, these are my boundaries. And everybody else said, yep, we see that, because nobody did anything wrong. And the truth is, no matter the circumstances that you're stuck in, even if you're getting your last nerve stepped on, people aren't doing it on purpose. They're unaware of it. And so when we can speak our needs and say, this is what I would like to have happen in the future versus why do you always. Then we can really. We actually can mend some of these relationships that need to be mended.

Yeah. And we're all going to have this period of time whether, hey, you go to go to put dirty dish, the sink fills up with dirty dishes like.

We all have so fast.

And other things a little bit more stressful. Like, I got a closing that's been delayed for two weeks now.

And I'm like, yeah, that's worse than the coffee.

It's worse than the coffee. You know what? Sometimes in the moment, in the morning, the coffee is just as important to get you through that.

I was a crazy face. I was.

Yeah, but that's the thing is, hey, okay, vent it, understand it, and let's move on from there.

You know what I found with my clients, Scott, and in my own life as well, when people's emotions are acknowledged and when I say people's, I mean when we acknowledge our emotions to ourselves, like, what they really are. Because a lot of times when somebody says, I'm just so aggravated right now, what they're trying to say is, I feel scared. And when we can really identify what's going on, if somebody does, if there's betrayal involved, we may be. I'm angry. You don't get to talk to me like that anymore. I don't allow that in my life. Or if somebody yells at us and say, I hear you yelling at me and you sound angry, but I'm wondering if you actually feel scared. It's the most amazing thing when I employ those things which sound really clinical. They do. And I was uncomfortable when I first learned them, but I didn't know how to say it any differently. So I said my clinical words. Nobody ever turns around to me and says, that sounds so clinical. Stop trying to analyze me. They say, yeah, I really am feeling scared. And you did this. And then I felt more scared. And then we can have a real conversation. So everybody, let's check in with ourselves, see what the actual emotion is. Because I'll tell you what, those emotions will tell you what your next best step can be.

That's really, really good stuff there, Michelle. Definitely. Because it's fearful. You hear all this worse stuff. You pay attention on Facebook, you see also stuff. It's very easy to internalize all these other emotions that are being poured out in different places. Well, frustration being poured out can turn into emotions.

Sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. Yeah, it's. You go on Facebook and you see people, you know, yelling at each other. And honestly, I don't have that. I don't have people that do that for the most part on my feed. But you see people, you know, getting up in people's faces. Actually, I saw it yesterday. There's Washington just had a stay at home order, and there was a feed. A woman asked about teaching her teenager to drive during this period of time. And a couple of people went off on her, like, hardcore, like, great, why don't you kill the emergency people? Because you yourself. And they called her names and they went after her. And I think it would have been really fascinating, first of all, to be in a room and say, are you gonna say this in person? But secondly, to say it sounds like you're really scared because this is a world that we're not used to. Is that accurate? And I think we would get a very different response. It doesn't mean people's behaviors, we allow them and go, oh, well, they're just scared. So they get to be mean to us. It does mean that there is something else under there. And if we don't address that, either with them or with ourselves, I'll tell you what, our emotions will start, like, spewing out onto people whether we know it or not. And that's the scary one. It's like, I'm sorry, my husband was like, are you in a bad mood? And I was like, no. And he's like, well, you're really super scowling. And I'm like, apparently I am in a bad mood. And that's a minor one, I promise. I've spewed my emotions worse than that before. But we do, if we hold them in, pretend that we don't. If you pretend you're not scared right now when you're actually scared, or you pretend that you're not angry right now, if you're feeling angry about something that does not go away, it will eventually spew all over everybody. So pay attention. What am I feeling? Is there something I want to do about that? If not, great. Put it aside. If yes, choose when and move forward. Because they don't. They're not going to go away.

Yeah, they don't. You can try to bottle up your anger and just like you said, it's going to creep out in some sort of fashion, either yelling at yourself, your spouse, your pets, or just getting angry.

Or getting an ulcer. I'll tell you what I Know people that are very, very good at shoving emotions and not great at not having ulcers.

Mm. That's the truth. What is the best way for people to get ahold of Michelle if they want to see what's going on with it? Would it be going to michelleyoungcoaching.com and.

Michellyoungcoaching.Com I'm a fabulous coach and a terrible tech person, so you can go there. And I think that 21 day life by design link actually works. Right now, I think honestly, the best way is either michelleplaymail.com it's M I C H e L L E a T P l a y mail.com or also I have Michelle youngcoaching on Facebook as well. And you can get to me through there?

Yeah, definitely. Well, we want to say thank you for taking time out of your very busy day of rocking it up.

Did I actually make poached eggs this morning? I did because I had time.

You know, that's the thing. Besides the poached egg, what's one thing that you really like, you spend a little bit more time doing that you're excited about?

Okay, so I'm an artist, and honestly, there's this giant painting in. Well, I had a tiny painting that I did years ago that was not fabulous. And it was either stolen or broken or lost. We had it at our beach house and I've been working on a paint this. I got mad when I thought somebody thrown it away because they didn't like it because we share a house. I thought somebody didn't like it. And, you know, I got all up in my own head. I thought, well, screw you. I'm gonna make a three by four foot painting of this now. So that's what. So I've been painting a lot more. And actually it's fun that you asked me this because I just ordered. Cause I can't go out. I ordered some ink pens and they just arrived because I wanted to start doing some pen and ink drawings.

Very nice. Very nice.

Okay, now you.

I'm enjoying some cooking. I enjoy cooking for the most part.

I bet you're a good cook.

I can't complain. Nobody's ever done.

You fed me enough good meals, Scott, that there's no way you're not an excellent cook. There's. You've taken me to enough restaurants where you're like, no, you totally gotta eat here.

This is.

No, just order anything. And I'm like, no, I will follow you wherever you cook.

Well, thank you. Yeah, it's Just like a chance to cook everybody's stockpile stuff. Like, okay, what do I cook that if I don't cook it it's gonna go bad. Like the vegetables or the stuff like that. It's like I gotta figure out what to cook so we actually can put stuff away a little bit, you know what I mean?

Oh yeah, yeah. I have leftovers. So you're not cooking every minute.

Exactly, exactly. So just enjoying the cooking and spend more time doing that. I mean we've been doing online events for years and online stuff so it's not too big a difference. Just some of the places where there are closings getting delayed and it's skeleton crews working in a lot of the state offices. So we can't, can't really close.

Yeah. Oh yeah.

Okay. Let's reach out, let's connect. Let's connect with some realtors. Let's reach out to our borrowers and say, hey, what's going on with you guys? Do you need some time? You know, that kind of stuff. But yeah, it's, you know, I've always tried to work out for the most part so kind of working out remotely here, which is not too difficult. I've done that. But the cooking I think is the most thing. That's probably the thing more so that what I can say on camera anyway, for the most part.

Good on ya. Good on ya.

All right, dear, so many loves, so much. Give our best to Aaron there as well.

I guess you will give Steph a hug for me.

He's under love. We'll see you later. All right?

All right, thanks Scott.

Thanks. Alright guys, that's going to wrap it up for this episode of the note closure show. Like she said. Go over and check her out. Michelleyoungcoaching.com or michelleaymail.com and that first at is an at, not a amber sign. So michelleplaymail.com she'll spend some time with you. Great, great person. Love what she does and you do that and this, this best of times or worst of times might just come out being on the better side of life for you. So go out, take some action everybody and we'll see you all at the top. Bye.

Sam.