EP 654 - Why You Need To Experience Failure In Order To Make Things Happen With Steve Sims

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This is the no Closer show where you get the latest developments in distressed note investing and learn the secrets of how you can control millions of dollars worth of property. For panties on the dollar. Get educated and entertained by someone who has closed thousands of deals and lives to support you in achieving the same. Now here's your host, CEO of We Close Nodes, Scott Carson. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, everybody. Welcome to this episode of the Note Closure Show. As always, Scott Carson. Excited to be here with you today. And I am so jacked up for our special guest this episode, somebody that I met a few years back ago in San Diego. You never know who you're going to be networked with and then showing up is half the thing. And when I started looking at what I wanted to do for 2021, I usually make a short list of who I'd really like to have on. And lo and behold, I'm not joking. Ten minutes after I write my list of names, I get an email invite from somebody who says, hey, do you want to have this guy on your show? And I'm like, he was number one on my list. No joke, no bullshit. I might be having a drink, but I'm not drunk. And so I am honored, very honored to have somebody I shared a Manhattan with a few years back in San Diego. He's known as the wizard of Oz for making amazing things and dreams happen for people. He is the author of an amazing book I wish was required reading for every entrepreneur out there because it covers so many great things. And we'll just touch the tip of it today on this episode. But he's the author of Blue Fishing and you can see it behind me if you're watching this on the green screen here and watching this as well. I'm honored to have the man and the myth, the, the bricklaying one day banker brothel bouncer, Mr. Steve Sims joining us today on the Nookliffe Show. What's going on, Steve?

Oh, everything good. Thanks for having me.

Honored to have you, man. You have such an interesting journey and interesting story and so many things that I think are relevant for entrepreneurs out there that are trying to make things happen. Our listeners are so many real estate entrepreneurs or investors or people that are working that full time job. They're kind of in that rat race and they want to get out of it into doing something else, but are often, you know, scared to pull the trigger or scared to take that leap of faith a lot of times. And you're a guy, I think what you say, you're a Blunt interest in it. You're, you know, you're not afraid to take action and make things happen. But it all kind of goes back to that kind of work ethic I think you developed as a young man, as a bricklayer. Would you agree to that?

Yeah, I think I'm more frightened of not taking action than actually taking action. A lot of people are scared of the outcome. Well, what if one of the outcomes may be you winning? You know, you be successing? See, the weird thing is I've noticed that some of my greatest growth has come from some of my most disastrous failures. I know how to make money from losing money. I know how to communicate and negotiate well by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. In learning shit, that's the wrong thing to say. So you notice that the worst things you do propel you into the greatest things. So people should be not scared of trying something. They should be scared of not.

You've talked about paralysis by analysis and overthinking things. And in your book you talk about how just getting the word done versus over preparing you actually go out, make those mistakes and are ahead of the market because you've tried and failed versus trying to prepare for every situation. Right.

Well, two quotes. A friend of mine, Jay Abraham, said that I have a greater icann than an iq and you joke about overthinking. My wife has never said I've overthought anything in my life. I've just gone and done it. And Ari Meisel said, get going, then get good. So when I thought about doing a podcast, I thought about it at 11 o' clock in the morning, by 3 o' clock in the afternoon. I did my first podcast. It was shit. But just because you did it doesn't mean you have to publish it. So we binned it and deleted it and then tried again and then tried again. So I. I get going and then get good. If there's a benefit to it. If the juice is worth the squeeze.

Oh, I love that quote. The juice has got to be worth the squeeze for sure. Definitely out there. You quote quite often throughout the book, your father's favorite sayings that you don't drown by just jumping in the water, you drown by staying there. And I think we see so many people, especially with what's going on in the market and Covid, a lot of people are just staying in the water versus pulling themselves out. Any advice or counsel you'd be willing to, to give those out there that are struggling to kind of get out of the deep end?

Yeah, so when I was a kid, I don't know, 18 years old, I took my wife to the movies on a Friday night and we ended up seeing a movie that is probably on one of the hall of Fame's man movie ever, Point Break. Yeah, And I'm watching it now. The funny thing is I'm watching it in the shitty end of London when it's raining. And it's all based around an area that now I live three minutes away. So it's very, very funny how it's actually come full circle on that. But during the movie and it's all very torstesserone and girls and guys and surfing and tough and hard and all that kind of stuff all the way through the movie. I'm engaged in the movie because as any good movie, you want to be one of the characters. And then there's a point in the movie where. And if anyone hasn't seen the movie, don't worry about it. But there's Boda Cipher, who is the main bad boy, good looking character, and Johnny Utah, the FBI agent. And Boda Cipher tells Johnny that he's going to rob a bank. And he's like, I can't do that, I'm an FBI agent. And Boney turns around and I remember this, turns around and says, don't worry, fear causes hesitation. And hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true. Now when he said that and I didn't know I was an entrepreneur. Yeah, this was back in the 80s when an entrepreneur meant you couldn't get a real job. And I was sat there in the movie and honestly, I'm not kidding you, I never saw the next 10 minutes of the movie. This single statement spoke to me so much that I realized people were controlled by fear. And how fear controlled them was to make them stand still. Nothing that stays still lives, it becomes stagnant and it dies. And I was like, oh my God. The danger isn't in going forward and trying. The danger is actually in staying still. And when you stay still, that's when they're all going to come at you. So it was that moment that I've used many, many times in my life. And then it was articulately brought to my attention many, many years later by a friend of mine, Joe Polish, who said to me that the definition of hell. Listen to this folks out there. If you don't listen to any more of this podcast, please listen to the next 10 seconds. The definition of hell is to meet the man or woman you could have been. Now when I heard that I was already living a life of going for everything, failing. But I would fail probably two thirds of the attempts that I took. But the third that I won put me way ahead of the game. And for anyone that doesn't know me, I've worked with Elton John, Elon Musk, Sir Richard Branson, Andrea Bocelli, the Pope. I've done some amazing things because I've gone for it, and I failed a lot more times than I've succeeded. But, you know, the funny thing is, once you succeed, no one cares about how many times you failed. No one remembers it. And a point in case. Yeah, let's pick on Elon Musk. Do you remember when he used to try and land the fuel cells on. On those floating platforms? Do you remember? It would fall over and explode in the flames. And we used to see that every couple of days on the news, didn't we?

Yep.

When was the last time you saw it? Oof.

I can't think of it now because he's been doing so well.

Bingo. The second that fuel cell landed and stayed upright and didn't fall over, everyone went, fuck it. It works now. And that was it. It's never made the news again because it works. It's irrelevant how many times it failed because it now works.

I love that that's so relevant, is that you learn more from your mistakes. You're learning from your lessons. You said it before, you know, staying still, the stagnant is what kills you. You start to rot. You start to just, you know, get bogged down. Whereas you're constantly. I love the rubber band analogy that you use throughout the book, how you've got to stretch yourself, that you can't go back to being that small kind of circle of comfort. You've got a new expanded circle by stretching yourself and making things happen. And we know with every fuel cell, that was millions, if not billions of dollars wasted for Elon Musk in a lot of ways. And failure cost things. But at that point, that success, the peaks of success are way higher than the values of failure at any given point. Right?

Well, we pay for a driving lesson, don't we? We pay for college. We paid for education. We paid for courses. He didn't waste billions of dollars on exploding fuel cells. He paid for the education, on what not to do. And had he not had fuel cells to break and blow up and explode, he wouldn't know what to do. I noticed there was one time I had a party in New York and it was in the Hamptons, and there were a lot of very powerful people in there, from Fortune 500 companies to media to rock stars. And I noticed that everyone in the room at some point in their life had failed. And I noticed something once I realized that, that I was in a room full of serial failures. They had just chosen to allow those failures to refine them and not define them. And that's where many people the point of failure is. You're only a failure when you stop trying. You know, when you go, oh God, this is it, I'm done. That's when you become a failure. Until that point, you're just being educated on what doesn't work.

Yeah, I love it because you do refer to that in the book. Definitely. Some of the biggest names of the most successful names out there. The Walt Disney's 300 times turned down. The Stephen King Carrie thrown in the trash before his wife digged it out there. I think us, as we grow as entrepreneurs, we get that thicker skin and know doesn't mean no, it means more. Not now. I just have to keep plodding forward and keep working on what I'm doing. What would you say though? And I really want your honest opinion. Okay, Honest. I'm not going to use the A word, the authentic word that you hate. Authentic is way overused, like you say. But your honest opinion, because I get so bogged down in entrepreneurs that they're always looking for excuses or they want the fastest and the shortest way to success. And I believe you've got to fail again and again to really be valuable and be able to go through those ups and downs. Everybody can make money in a up market, but it's when it's a down market or struggling market, that's when the true heroes come out. Would you agree to that, Steve?

There's no talent when the market's going up. You just become an order taker. So anyone can do it. Stick your dog in there for the day in a bull market. Here, make a dollar. That's the bottom line of it is I remember a while ago someone said to me, and it was on a podcast and I went, steve, if you could go back to your 18 year old self when he was working on a building site for his dad in East London, you know, what would you tell him to save him? And I thought about this because I'd never been asked that question at the time. And I realized I'd only tell him to stay off the shit whiskey. That would be the only thing. Because the success was not in those glorious moments of walking the red carpet or living in the hills or driving the cars or being able to dine at the fanciest restaurants. All the growth came from those shitty moments where you asked yourself, what am I going to do next? Those one o' clock in the morning, Wednesday mornings when you know you've got to make payroll or pay the mortgage on a Friday and you don't know how to run the credit card to be able to do it, or, or who you can call or what you've got to do to be able to pull it in, or when you suddenly lost a contract and you're being sued for quarter of a million dollars and you go, oh my God, what do I do next? It's those moments that you're suddenly revealed as to who you are. I will go out and there's going to be some people that I alienate on this and for that I apologize, but thank you. 2020. I am grateful for 2020. And it's exposed my strengths, it's exposed my weaknesses, it's established a better bond within my family, it's strengthened the relationships in my businesses and told me which ones I don't need to concentrate on. 2020 has been an amplification. Anything that you were good at, you became better at distribution, communication, online presence. Anything that you were weak at is killed. I think 2020 was a phenomenal time for us. And it was in a dark, vulnerable period that you really got taught what you're capable of. You know, and they always say that exceptional sailors are not made exceptional from calm seas. We need those moments of kind of, oh my God, what do I do next? To be able to realize that you have the capability now, if we can survive in the year that we've had, and it was a shit year, but if we can not only survive but in some areas become better, then over the next few years, when the vaccine's gone and everything's back to whatever the new normal looks like, how dominating are we going to become?

Amen to that. I totally agree that people this last year had learned to pivot. They've had to learn to do different things or delegate a lot of things. And I think those companies or those individuals that didn't learn the delegation side of things, like you talk really heavily about in your book, how getting time back is one of the most important things that you can't buy. And one of the biggest thing, I think the biggest aha moments was when you outsource your meal prep or your Monday through Friday dinners, you know, getting vegetables and rice. Can you make that happen for me five days a week. And you suddenly had what, 10 extra hours of the week to put to your passions or your work? Correct.

God, this is going to sound so precocious, but it was Tim Ferriss that was telling me about this and he was talking about trying to look at what you do and then quantifying how much it costs to do that. So you may be doing a deal on the phone and you may make ten grand, but then when you run down to the supermarket to buy your materials to come back home and do your sandwich, and that takes you three hours or two hours, including driving down and driving back, you know, how much did it cost you for that sandwich? And I actually wanted to see how far I could take this and how far I could test it. And one of the things that me and my wife, we worked together, there was a moment in the day that I used to hate every single day. At about 10 o' clock in the morning, she would go, hey, what do you fancy for dinner tonight? And after, I've just had breakfast, that's. I don't know, I have no idea what I fancy. So it would start this conversation. We'd be thrown off of our curveball on focusing on work. Then she'd have to drive down to the supermarket and pick the stuff up and then she'd have to come home and start preparing it. So what we did was we actually hired a chef. Now I remember at the beginning thinking, oh my God, I'm spending a grand and a half on a chef. Are you kidding me? My wife never spoke to me at 10 o' clock about that. We spoke about other things. We suddenly found that we had time when she was about to cook for the meal for the night. She didn't have to, she could sit down with the kids and do that homework. We gained hours, we gained family moments, and we ate better because we weren't suddenly thinking to ourselves, damn, we got to go and buy a hot dog, or we've got to go and get McDonald's or we've got to go and do it. All of a sudden, none of that stuff mattered anymore. Sadly. The guy, Mitch, Mitch was his name, went to England and he wanted to go back home. I tell you now, we would still have him here. It was the greatest experience and it was a pure example on how could I buy back the time? Because Tony Robbins used to say, don't get in a dollar for hours scenario because you're going to run out. And for so many years, entrepreneurs do that. We charge per Hour. Well, you've only got 24 of those you can sell. So what you've got to do is you've got to be able to distribute further by doing less. And that was one of the tests. We did it by doing the chef. So ask yourself, what do you do that you can get somebody else to do cheaper than it's actually costing you? It's a funny test to do and a scary one.

It is a scary one. Besides cooking, it can be dishwashing, it can be house cleaning, it can. It'd be doing the oil mowing your yard. There's a whole list of things that we could outsource and value our hour and expect. Because I'm a big believer in preaching that to our audience. Like, hey, if it's going to cost you 50 bucks to go do an oil change and you're only buying your time at 50 bucks an hour, let somebody else do it for you and go out, make some things. Now, are you still looking for a chef there in LA for you?

I think my wife would jump at the chance of that. It's funny, but we actually started really looking and we took that to the extreme. Now, there's a caveat. If mowing the lawn gets you into a good, peaceful, creative state, then that's a value. But if it's a chore, and they're called chores for a reason, outsource it to someone that can do it better, faster, and cheaper than it takes for your time. So for me, I've got a mailbox. I live actually just outside Malibu now, and my office is still in Los Angeles. The smart thing would be to move my office into the Malibu region so I don't have to go there to get the mail, because I don't go to the office. But every once a week, I jump on my motorbike, I drive down the beach route, the long route, to get to my mailbox. So it's an ending, but it keeps me calm for that period. Every week I have to do that drive, and it's calm for me. So creative, keep watchful, move away, and delegate out.

Is that the Angel Creek drive that you like to take on your motorcycle all the time?

We do Angel's Crest. We do. There's a Topanga Canyon. We do Pacific coast highway, which is just a nice scenic ride. A Latigo Canyon. I actually used to live in Palm beach. And I suppose this is the definition of knowing that you're successful, because it certainly was for me, being able to move where I wanted to, not where I needed to. And when I was living in Palm beach and I wasn't happy there and being able to go, well, okay, where do I want to live? What do I want from life? And being able to decide that really made me feel very wealthy. And I've always been very grateful to be here in Los Angeles. Not because I have to, not because I work with the studios, because I don't. Not because I want to work with all the celebrities, but because I don't have a lot of celebrity clients. I'm here because I want to live here, because it's the perfect weather, it's the perfect sunshine, and it's got all the great bike folks. And it's not bad for tacos, either.

Hey, I'll fight you on tacos here in Austin, Texas. The Taco Cafe.

Okay, yeah, no, I got you then. Yep. Okay. I probably think you'd do better for me than there.

Yeah, you know what? Fish tacos better in California than they are here in Austin. But we'll have to get together some tacos and some bourbon. Speaking of some of the things obviously passionate about with you riding your bike and working with people and doing the things that you basically painting your life, painting your dream board, stuff like that. You talk throughout the book about passion will overcome cash any day. And if you can have an experience or hit on somebody's passion, it will far exceed the experience and make memories more so than anything else. That really honed in with me because my father, who's been gone for years, talked about, hey, making memories are much better than punching a clock are getting paid for. If you can make a memory, go there. And I love what you share about how you take little things during your journeys to really highlight and make a memory. Can you talk a little about that? How you like to use the stationary or even the sky mall thing? I love that. As an entrepreneur and a business owner.

As people and as humans, we respond to triggers. We don't touch things that are hot because they burn. We have triggers. And you may be driving down the road and a tune may come onto the radio, and all of a sudden you're 20 years younger with the love of your life, or you're hanging out with your boys in that bar, or you remember this moment is creating a trigger. I gave you a trigger a few moments ago about the movie. Now, not only did that movie mean a lot to me, but I remember the cinema that it was in, in a shitty area of town with the woman that I'm thrilled actually became my wife in the end. So all of these triggers come from there. So what you want to do is, no matter what your job is, try to create a trigger. And because my business eventually was a concierge firm, I was traveling all over the world. Now I'm speaking and coaching. I'm again, still traveling over the world. A little tip and trick that I came up with was when I would be in a hotel and I'd be in, like, Poland or Ukraine or Japan, London, wherever. And you can do this locally, okay? Go down to a really cool hotel. In fact, it doesn't even have to be a cool hotel, but go to a hotel that has stationary. Walk up to the concierge and go, hey, I'm going to be over there having a cup of coffee, and I'm writing a few notes to my clients. Have you got any stationery? They will give you for free? Envelopes and stationery. Write the note and then put it in the stationery. Hand write the envelope and post it to someone. And in there, all you've got to say is like, hey, it caught my attention this afternoon that we had not spoken regarding the project regarding the. Send me a text as to when we can speak next, okay? And then send it in there. Okay, Send the letter. People are going to get that envelope. Now, if you're worried about getting past gatekeepers, anytime an envelope comes from a hotel and it's handwritten, the PA is going to think, oh, this must be a friend, and puts it on the. It gets through, okay? And then they open it up. Now, here's a couple of things to think about. In fact, I'll ask you this, okay? So here you go. Scott, I've got a question for you. How many fingers does it take to delete an email?

1.

How many fingers does it take to open up an envelope?

10.

Full engagement. Okay? It's like you're holding a steering wheel. Now, here's the thing. When you go to a nice hotel, you may actually get an envelope that's got a bit of a feeling to it, a bit of a texture, okay? It's got a little logo on it. It may say, you know, London, or it may say Malibu, or it may say San Francisco. And that's why you can go down to wherever you live. Bearing in mind wherever you live may be different to somebody else, even if they also live in LA and you go to an la, they're going to go, who do I know at this hotel? Okay? It creates curiosity. Now, whenever you get an envelope and it's got a glass Front on it, and there is a typed addressee that is you, and it's come to you. What do you think or know that letter is?

It's a bill. It's a negative response to think it's in a bill.

When was the last time you got a birthday card that came with a glass front and a typed addressee? But if you get an envelope and it's actually handwritten on the front, what do you think it could be?

Invitation, a birthday card, Something personal? Always.

You know, it could be anything. But the key is personal. You hit it smack on. So I've now got your curiosity, I've now got your expectation. I've now got you touching the envelope. You then have audible, because you're now ripping open that envelope. You're ripping something open. You are now engaged. Your head is going, what is this? What is this? What is it? I've got you so ready to consume whatever shit I write on that letter. I've got you, okay? And then it's nothing more than me just going, hey, Scott, I'm in la. Text me because I want to have a chat with you. That's not the most exciting thing in the world. And if I sent it to you as an email, it may get deleted. It may get deleted by accident. You certainly are not going, oh, this is so cool. He sent me an email, rubbish. But if I sent you that envelope, you're like, whoa. Now, I've been in restaurants and I've folded up the menu and shoved it in there and gone, hey, it's really cool here. And I've written on the back of the menu that note. And I've been in restaurants where they've got a cocktail of the month, and I've written on the back of that cocktail and done the same. I've even sprayed a bit of perfume in there. When I went to Japan, it was cherry blossom time, and there was a perfume that my wife got in Japan, that smell of cherry blossoms. It wasn't so cool when we got back here, but at the time, what we did was in every envelope, I sprayed this in there, okay? And then there was once I was in Mardi Gras, and what I did was I got some tinsel and I put some, like, little tinsel in. In every envelope that I sent from Mardi Gras, okay? And a client phoned me up and he said, steve, this true story, he said, I've got your letters from all over the world, and they always make me smile and they always make me grin, but how do you think my evening went when at work, I opened up your envelope to a bunch of tinsel and then had to go home to my wife with tinsel all down my legs, you know, and try and explain to her that it was a guy that sent me an envelope and not her thinking I've gone to some kind of lap dancing parlor. So that one probably wasn't my smartest move, but did it not create a trigger to the point that actually went to his party, he introduced me to his wife, and. And the story of the tinsel came up. So don't you want a trigger?

Definitely want a trigger. And it goes such a long way in that personal connection, especially these days. You said it right. Emails get deleted. It's so interpersonal. It also kind of goes with that whole social media thing. Everybody thinks that connecting with people on social media, Facebook posts or Instagram posts, is the way to do it. I agree with your concept that, hey, likes don't mean shit out there. It's that personal connection and being able to really connect and identify a need. Like you said, hey, I know you like Manhattan's. Here's a menu that I thought drink you'd like or menu stuff like that. I love that, love that, love that.

And the key, the key you've got to look at. And this is what I do. And it's not because I'm a cheapskate, but try to find something that's free or cheap, okay? That impacts the person. You mentioned about Skymore. I'm very famous for being on a plane, and this was before wifi, because WI fi has only been on planes for the last few years, okay? And Skymore doesn't even exist anymore. But for any of you that don't know what Skymore is, every piece of crap that was ever produced in the planet was for sale through this sky mall. So that when you're 30,000ft up in the air and you're on your 15th whiskey because you're bored, you think a manatee post box is a really smart idea and you end up buying four. And so what I would do was I would get these sky malls and I would rip out these pages of stupid stuff, and it would be a skeleton hand that came out like a piggy bank or a bib that had a big picture of a pig on it for, like, when you made ribs. SkyMall was where all the stupid stuff went to die that no one would even show on qvc. It was that embarrassing. And I would rip it out, shove it in an envelope, and With a silver Sharpie. Go Mikey. I hear you got the penthouse in Chicago. Congratulations. You need a dolphin post box. Here you go. And I would send it to and it was stupid stuff, but I became very well known for sending SkyMall Tripe to people. And people loved it. It was just funny and it cost me nothing. And I was on the plane and I had nothing to do and I would send it out.

I love it, I love it. But that's the little things that you're on their mind. You're thinking about them and it slows things down and make people be more aware versus such electronic and such a fast paced economy. I absolutely love it. And we do have still that thing, especially in all the hotel rooms. Think about all the travel or all the vacationing sites they have or the things like that. There are a lot of great things that you can use to share that you're thinking about people.

Oh, absolutely. You know, you could be down at a local cafe, you could be getting an oil change, you know, and just get the local flyer and right on the back of the flyer you're doing something that is different to what everyone else is doing. Everyone today is pitching perfect copy. You know, copy that was meticulously gone through and is articulate and uses words that you can't even pronounce, let alone spell. It's too perfect. We don't relate to perfection because I always say to perfection. It's a blue unicorn with three testicles. It doesn't exist, okay? We don't recognize perfection. If you remember, let's get it hard. How many times have you seen a movie where the building's blown up? Okay, Thousands and thousands of times. But when nine, eleven did it, that was ugly. That had paper falling, that had smoke, that had this. You couldn't see certain things. When it started to topple down, all the smoke and debris went up. You couldn't see it coming down. That was ugly. It was real. It wasn't perfect. Like the way they make the movies, okay? That's what affected us. It was relatable. When there's a mess, there's paper, trash, chairs, desks. It was ugly and it was impactful. Well, you've got to focus on today is what is impactful. Sending someone an email, sending someone a pretty newsletter, all of that stuff they get 30,000 times a day. Why don't you pick up this thing that you have probably very, very close to you as you're even watching or listening this your phone and video a message, okay? And this is gold for you people out there. Yeah, I've sent you an invoice if I ever find you, but all you do is record a video going, hey, I'm recording this video because quite simply, we have not spoken for way too long. Let me know when's a good time. We can jump on the phone and just catch up. Especially during COVID I want to know how you're handling things. And to see if I can help, let's maybe spitball some ideas to see how we can get over anything. Or more than anything, just check in with me. And with that video, text it to 50 people. Now, here's the first thing you'll notice. I didn't call out your name. Scott. If you walk into a bar, I wouldn't walk up to you and go, scott Carlson, how you doing? Steve Sims. How you doing, man? Why would I do that? We already know each other. You know, I'd run up behind, just slap you on the shoulder and go, hey, if you're buying the drinks, make sure I got one. How you doing, buddy? You don't introduce yourself to a friend. You don't have to introduce yourself in a text, right? That video that did not mention a first person's name can go to 50 people. And what will happen is it will suddenly pop up on that phone. Why? Because there's no junk mail for texts. You know, there's junk for emails, but there's no junk for text. And it will pop up with an alert of your stupid face doing this. And people will be like, what the hell is this? And they will push it and play it and respond. Text have a just under 100% open rate. Your emails have an open rate, if you're really good, of about 20%. Now also. Now let me ask you another question. I'm going to pick on you, Scott, If I sent you an email, what is the respectable time frame for you to respond without me getting upset?

I always tell people, give me 24 hours just in case of travel for the most part. But I think it's gotta be 48 hours, you know, And I think you've gotta set it. If I don't answer, and I get irritated when I get those autoresponders from people all the time, and they don't follow up in 24 to 48 hours. But 24 hours is kind of my thing for them.

Okay, so 24 to 48 hours.

Okay, let's not count weekend if you're off having fun and traveling.

So come Friday, if I've sent you an email, I May not be hearing from you until Monday or Tuesday. All right, okay, fair enough. Now, I doubt Scott's done this because he's got an honest face on him. Unless you've seen him. Do you know someone that maybe has said, oh, sorry, I didn't see your email. It was in the junk folder just to buy him an extra few days to respond.

Oh, I've heard that. I've heard that. Definitely. Yeah.

Okay, so we now know on that example, you've basically got one to seven or eight days on an email. How fast do you respond to a text?

That would be an hour or two, just in case I don't have exactly much speed.

Things much quicker, much briefer, much more conversation. Cheers for the email. Funny face. When should we chat? Oh, cheers, Scott. Glad you liked it. You're now in what's called a conversation, which is all we want. There's a new app out there that everyone's going. And it's making me laugh. Everyone's going nuts over at the moment clubhouse. Some stupid moron in one of the clubhouse rooms that I happen to be in that. I'm not kidding. I spat out my coffee when I heard this from her. She said, it's brilliant that I have this app now. I can push a button and talk to someone. Now, I hate to explain it, you silly cow, but you just described what a fricking phone is. Yes, it was hysterical. And she literally said that in a room. And I couldn't get over it. I could not. I had to blurt it out. So we've missed a lot of things in Covid. Okay, We've missed kicking around with family. We've missed going to the mall. We've missed going to a restaurant. But what have we truly missed? It's conversations and connecting with people. It's being able to walk up to someone. And as I gave you the example earlier, Scott, it's being able to walk up to someone, like at the secret knock event where we met. It's being able to walk up to someone in a room smacking them on the back and going, dude, let's grab an old fashioned. Let's grab a whiskey. Let's have a chat. Or I heard you bring this up. Hey, let's explore that further. Or I heard you had a problem with marketing. Let's have a chat. That's what we've missed. We've missed the tonality. We've missed the energy. We've missed the passion. No one is gagging to get into 2021 because they want to Go and buy a new car. No one is desperate to get out there to buy a new watch. I've not seen a single posting, heard a single message about, oh, my God, I can't wait for Covid to be over so I can go and buy a new Rolex. No one gives a shit. We want to go down to the bar and hang out with each other. We want to bear hug each other and we want to go, man, I'm glad I'm face to face here. I'm glad I haven't got a face mask on and I'm spitting all over you. Let's drink some beers, let's tell some rude jokes, let's connect. Hell, yes. But you know the thing, and I don't want to get too preachy on this, and I apologize if I already have. We started Covid ourselves with the invention of Friendster. We've been getting really bad at communicating for, like 20 years now. Covid has put the full stop on it. But it was five years ago that we started instead of phoning up our friends going, hey, come on over. We've got a baby. What did we do? We posted a picture of it on Facebook. Here's a baby bang. There's a picture. Oh, congratulations. Did you get off your fat ass and go and see him? No. Why? She had already said congratulations on Facebook. We started disconnecting from our relationships years ago when we allowed social to outsource relationships. Social? Is it bored? It's a poster board. It's where you post things up. That's why they're called posts, you idiot. Relationships are where you sit down and have a coffee and go, scott, you sounded a little bit strange the other day. What's going on in your life? Or, hey, Scott, congratulations on the baby. Let me come over with a bottle of whiskey and we'll drink to the new baby. You know, that's what relationships are. And I'm praying Covid has made us go, oh, crap. That's what I miss. Not posting a picture of me leaning up against a car I don't own on Instagram just to make sure that everyone realizes my life is better than yours. Covid has taught us that we need each other.

I love what you share. You shared. I don't know if it was on Joel Fear, Matt Wolf's Hustle and Flowchart podcast a while back or in the book as well, too. Talking about using the social things for a social audit to help you connect with people, to find out things about people so that you can help build that connection up. Can you share a little bit about what you mean by that?

We can cyberstalk anybody today and we can jump onto that. See, we don't really Google people anymore, you know, because if you Google someone, it takes you to that website. And that website's always got a picture on there when they were 20 pound lighter, probably even five years younger. And it's nothing more than a trophy chest. Oh, look at me. I was on cnn and I've got the same. You know, this was when I was on cnn. This was when I was on stage here. This was when I was at the Pentagon. It's your trophy display if you really want to get to know the person. What do we do? We look them up on social and we look up their Facebook feed, and we look up their Instagram feed and we see that all of their pictures consist of them with motorbikes or with horses or with dogs. And then we can take an assumption, once we've seen 500 pictures of them with that dog Bertie, that they love Bertie, you know, and there's something relatable behind it. So we can actually use social as discovery and research, not for the relationship, but to give us something worthwhile as an entry level to talk about. You may phone up and go, oh, I saw your dog Bertie. Looks like a beautiful dog. Yeah. Died last week. Okay. I'm so sorry. You know, are you okay? Yeah. Now, you may think that's horrible, but that's a worst case scenario that still engages a conversation. How long was Bertie with you? Oh, we had him for 15 years. How did Bertie come into your life? You know, you're in a conversation, people don't realize that it's conversational. Twitter is basically going up onto the Empire State Building, writing something down on a piece of paper, faxing it to a million people, or throwing off the top and that building and hoping someone gets it and responds to you.

Yeah.

That is not a relationship.

Yeah, so true. You outlined a story about talking with an actor who'd been bombarded in an event with the selfies, but you found out that he was interested in chair furniture.

Yeah, I've been able to work in some brilliant places and none of it has been by luck. The people that I'm going for, I attack with precision. You know, I'm better than the NSA for it. And the way that I do it is I do my research first. And I found out this guy that I was going after was posting about these shoes that he got from Venice. Handmade shoes. Always wanted a pair okay. And I started up a conversation because I went to a party and guess what he was wearing the shoes. And I went, oh, I love your shoes. Bang. He starts telling me about everything that I already knew, but he was telling me about it. And there was another guy that was an actor, famous actor. And after doing a bit of digging, he was in an article because he collected modern mid century chairs. Okay? I stood next to him at a bar. Now, anyone that's got any kind of profile, okay, Scott, I guarantee you've had it. I know I've had it. But when you're in the public eye, people come up to you and they go, oh, Steve. And you're stood there going, shit, who's this? Do I know them? Are they friends? Are they clients? Are they related to clients? Who are you? During that moment, you're panicking. The person hasn't turned around and gone, oh, you don't know me, Scott, but I listen to your podcast. You're just feeling very bloody uncomfortable. Celebrities get that times a million.

Yeah.

So I was stood at a bar with someone and I wanted to do business with them. I knew they were involved in a movie. And I went, oh, hey, how are you? And he's like. And he's obviously waiting for the, can I get a picture? Or we loved your latest movie, all the other shit that he gets 15 million times. And I turned around him and I went, so you like Herman Miller Chess? And he was like, you like chairs? And I went, do you know? I do, but I only like the modern mid century ones, you know, because that's what he was saying in the article. He's like, I love modern. I was like, wait, go figure, you know? And we start a whole conversation on quirky chairs. But you've got to focus on who you're going for. You've got too much information available to you now for you to be stupid enough to think you can just run away with it ad hoc. Now, if you're trying to get hold of someone, find out what interests them, because people will talk about what they love forever. You'll have to shoot them to shut them up. So if you want to get into a conversation, find out what they love, start the conversation on it, sit back and let them go. Happy?

I love it. Well, that's the truth. And then what? They're passionate about their charities. You've gave them some great advice on other podcasts and throughout the book of finding what shares, especially the guy from. I think the story about the getting the guy from Journey had a Charity event with autism or something like that.

Yeah. I got a client, client came to me and wanted to meet the rock band Journey. And that was too much of a waste of a request. And I found out that the guy that was asking me, the client, his brother's son, had autism. And I found out that the drummer, son of the rock band Journey had autism. So I was able to use that as a natural connection and go, hey, I want something. But rather than just having someone that could afford it do an amazing experience with you guys, because that's easy. Obviously it wasn't, but by saying it, it kind of like calms the way I was going, we could do this for money, but hey, no one wants to do this for money. Why don't we do this to raise awareness with autism? Would that be of any interest? Of course. The drummer's like, hey, my son. Of course. I knew it. That's why I bloody brought that up. And I'm like, well, why don't we do this and just raise the profile and anything I do, I'll promote the fact that it's all surrounding autism and bringing awareness to autism and Autism Speaks. And we did the whole event under the umbrella of Autism Speaks. Part of the proceeds went to autism. So we made a whole big chat. So everyone got the feel good factor. If you want to turn a celebrity away, walk up to him and go, hey, how much will it cost for me to do this? That turns the celebrity from a celebrity into a prostitute. No one wants to be purchased, so you've got to walk in with, hey, I've got this dream. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we did this and my client wants to do it and you are the perfect person to bring this. Wouldn't it be? What? Can you imagine how many years they will talk about it? Get them into the story, get them into the emotion. You're going to have to pay. But hey, that's just like buying a car and knowing full well it's got to be fueled. No one's ever bought a car, got home and gone. You didn't tell me how to put fuel in it. Paying for it, you know, you're going to have to do. But get them engaged in the project first. The money's just a side step that's got to be done. It's a mere formality.

Well, but I love it too, to find those things out. You're asking questions, you're diving deeper versus just being an order taker. And you say this throughout the book in a couple of fashions of taking a deep down, why do you want to do this? Why do you want to go to the Playboy Mansion in the book? Or why do you want to go to Napa? Or why do you want to do this? And really finding the cause or the true colors to somebody and what buttons to push to really dig that information out of them so you can really build a lasting memory in event form. Correct.

I know we're getting close to the end of our thing, but I'll give you a little story, if I have permission that does identify that a bit more. And I teach this when I'm coaching as well. Never give a client what they ask for. Give them what they want lust and desire for. And in order to do that, you've got to hit probably the most combative, confrontational word ever. And that is the word why. And I had a client to give you how I use it. Someone phoned up my office, got through to one of my team, and they wanted to get a photograph with Sir Elton John. And I was working for Sir Elton John with. It was his Oscar party here in Los Angeles. I did it for eight years, and my team member put it through to me, and they said, there's something off about this fella. Can you take the call? I said, certainly. Put it through. So the person came through, and I said, hey, how you doing? And I got this New Yorker on the phone, very abrupt, very loud, very full of himself. That's fine. Not saying all New Yorkers are like that, but most of you know you are. And he was kind of like, yeah, I want to get a photograph with Sir Elton John. And I went, oh, that sounds fantastic. Why? And he's like, oh, well, he's an icon. He's one of the greats. He's one of the last ones. Everyone knows him by Elton. You know, he's just famous. He's going to die soon, and I want to get a photograph of him for my desk. Okay. Is that it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's about it. Yep. Fantastic. Thank you very much. Let me do some digging, see what I can do, and I'll come back to you. Thank you very much. And I hung up. Didn't take his phone number, didn't take his email, didn't take. There was no substance to it. Okay. About a month later, and we're now about six weeks away from the event in Los Angeles. So about a month later, one of my team contacts me, and I had told them about this person, and they went, steve, I don't think it's him. But we've got another guy on the phone. He's another New Yorker. I'm thinking it may be his mate trying to get this picture because you never responded to him. Can you take the call? Yeah, yeah, yeah, put it through. To me was another New Yorker, equally as loud, equally as brash. And he's like, hey, how you doing? I'm like, it's good. I said, I hear you want to get a photograph with Sri and John. Yeah, I do. That's great. Why? Why do you want to do it? And he went, oh, he was taken back, by the way. And he went, oh, well, you know, he's a great. He's an icon, you know, everyone knows Elton, Everyone Knows Me, and starts basically going through the same list as the first guy. And then he went, ah, well, you know, there's things. And it was that there's things. And I remember this accurately, it was that exact there's things. And I said to him in a quiet voice, what things? Now there's a great guy out there called Chris Voss. He talks to you about. Never split the difference. And he talks about matching the person's voice with the same tone and then bringing in your midnight DJ voice to see if they will follow. So I was all enthusiastic, just like this guy's voice. And then I said, so let me know what things? And he went quiet and he said, I'd like to tell you about my dad. So my dad used to take me to school every day. He used to take me to school. He used to pick me up from school. My mom never did it once. She would always wave us off from the doorstep. But it was always my dad that would take me to school and always my dad that would pick me up. It was our thing. And in his car he had a cassette and the cassette was stuck, we couldn't get it out. And it was funny. It was Elton John's greatest hits at that time. And we used to sing all the Way to School, only a couple of miles. And then whenever he would pick us up, we would sing all the Way Back. Elton John on the way to School on the way back. And then he got a new car and this one came with a CD player and he thought it'd be funny to get Elton John's greatest hits. So on the way to school we'd sing Elton John and on the way back we'd sing Elton John. And then it got to my high school years where I was so embarrassed that my dad would still be singing Elton John on the way there that I would look out the window and not even look at it. I couldn't get out of that car fast enough, Couldn't close the door fast enough so people couldn't hear Ellen John coming out of the car. And I would walk towards the car and in that old John, he'd be singing. I'd quickly open the door and quickly jump in. I'd be like, dad, Dan, try and turn it down, but he would never turn it down. And he would drive home with me looking out the window while he would be singing out on John. He said, now, my dad died about 15, 20 years ago. So now I'll be driving down the road, I'll be driving my kids to school, I'll be with my wife. I'll be at a business meeting or on my way to it. And on the radio somewhere, I'll hear Elton John. And you know, every time that comes on the radio, my dad sat next to me in the car singing his lungs out. I want to say thank you to Elton for randomly, throughout each week, bringing my dad back to me for three minutes at a time. Now, when he told me that story, that's probably like nine years ago, and I still well up every time I tell that story because I can remember him telling me that the guy had substance, he had reason. There was a core when he told me that I could not wait to go to Elton John's camp and tell them the story and see if we could get those two together. And when we did get them two together at the party, the party was loud and they had to lean into each other and tell the story. But just by the client's face and. And by out and receiving it, I know what part of the story he had gone through. And when they both got to the end and they were both well enough and then they hugged each other, that was the reason. There was the cause, the money. Yes. There had to be a donation. People don't do shit for free. When they do it for free, it comes back three times as expensive. But we had discovered the why by asking, and then we could work on it. Once we knew what the core reason was behind it, we just had to position it and there was no way in the world they were going to say no. When we knew what the why was that. So strong, thick and heavy.

I love it. Steve. We could sit here and it's just an amazing story. You've got so many lessons. And I love the fact too, that you're actually doing more speaking and sharing a little bit More of your lessons and things that you've gone through and the things you're teaching entrepreneurs out there. You've got a thing called Distillery. Don't you share a little bit about that, how people can plug into that a little bit more?

Yes. So I screwed up. I actually made a course about two and a half years ago called Sims Distillery and It was a 16 step video course on how to communicate and build up relationships. And I hate it. I hated it because it was basically the diet book. The amount of people that go into a store, buy a diet book and think, hey, I'm going to lose weight because I bought the book. They don't do anything other than buy the book. And that concerned me about my course, so I changed it. So@sims distillery.com we actually have an online community. It's got loads of videos. Every time I do a video, I load it up there. Every time I do an AMA with one of my guests, I load it up there. But more importantly, as a member of Sims Distillery, I bring you into the conversation. So when I do an expert ama, I with Jim Quick, Ken Craigen with Jay Abraham, all my Sims Distillery members are actually in the conversation can ask questions to these experts and we hold you therefore accountable to grow, to be challenged and to benefit from these people's wisdom. So my online community is@sims distillery.com and it gets you not only into your own private portal, but it also gets you into my private community where you get to interact with me and with my guests.

I love it. I love it. Just signed up for it actually, so I'm really excited about it. So we'll bring it up for everybody there. Steve, what's the best way for people to connect with and find more out? Is it Steve D. Sims? SteveDogsims.com is the main website for you.

It is. SteveD. Sims.com is the main website you can also join. We've got a free Facebook group that gives you kind of an idea of what I'm about. So if you want to sniff out a little bit more to find out if I'm full of it or whether or not I fit your vibe, we've got an entrepreneur's advantage with Steve Sims. That's our free Facebook group. Or you can just Simon, stalk me at Steved Sims on Instagram, Twitter, clubhouse, anywhere you like.

I love it. And then the two most final questions I'm asking to let you get back to your day. Favorite bourbon. Is it bullet bourbon you were drinking the other night or you had a favorite bourbon that you like? What's that?

I would say it's probably bullet bourbon. I just think the bullet bourbon just works for me. It's good all round. Bullet. Yeah, I like bullet bourbon.

Okay. And I know you've got a variety of motorcycles and you probably hard but what's your favorite one that you love to ride there on a nice sunny, crisp day on the PCH or up Angel Crest? What's your favorite one to ride?

All right, so because you outlined it with the beauty of the day. I've got Harleys, I've got Ducatis, I've got new, I've got. I'm very spoiled. I've got quite a few motorbikes. But every now and then I like to like roll out either the 1975 Norton Commando, put my little open face helmet on and just cruise the hills. And I'm straight away transferred back to the 1970s with a little pea shooter exhaust. So I'd probably say my 75 Norton Commando.

Very nice. Very nice. Well, Steve, thank you so much for coming on the note Closure show. I really appreciate. It's good to reconnect through these years and look forward to doing some more stuff together. Guys and gals, go check it out. Stevedsims.com, check it out there. Sims distillery. You will not be disappointed. And just, man, go out and get the book Blue Fishing. Great read. You will not want to put it down. And I love the lessons and little recaps at the end of each chapter. You have for it as well too, Steve.

Cheers, man. Thank you.

Hey, thank you, Steve. All right, guys, that's going to wrap it up for this episode of the Nook Closure show. Go out, take some action. Don't be afraid to fall down and fail. You learn more from that. And guys, people don't remember the failures. They remember the successes. So keep at it, don't give up and you'll find success. And we'll see you all at the top, everybody. Bye.

Sam. Sa.