10+ Ideas To Deal With Isolation | Ep 82 | David Hulman

People seem to forget if you change today, today will change your life. Hello, you're here on the next episode of the Self Belief Chief podcast with life coach and author David Holman. And right now we're going through this really strange, unprecedented time where it's causing a lot of. A lot of strain, a lot of pressure of anxiety on people. And so I thought what be really helpful in this week's episode is to talk about dealing with this level of self isolation or dealing with this period where we've got to keep to ourselves and we feel like maybe we're losing contact with the outside world. Well, firstly, lots of people are feeling exactly the same way. So you're not alone, you're not isolated in a. In a very strange way, actually, when we've never been more connected. Connected with a similar thing that we're all going through that we're all sort of struggling with, where actually that. That need to, you know, to feel other people's connection and affection. Everyone is feeling that right now. And so actually taking some of the emphasis off ourselves and thinking, actually, how can I serve others? You know, this is an opportunity to be able to serve others. And we might not be able to serve people in the way of getting out and about and doing this and that, but there might be some other ideas, some. Some different ideas of things that we can do even from home, how we can be serving people who might be really, really struggling. We're all feeling it, we're all feeling the pressures of it, but some people will no doubt be feeling it worse than others. And hopefully this episode will just be a very small part of my effort or my attempt to help ease some of the burden that some people may be feeling, but also some other things that hopefully I can do to make a difference to other people as well going forward. So this is just a little start, but I understand, okay, we're all experiencing this really strange uncertainty and just not really knowing what to do with our time and how to best use it. And actually, you know, whilst some of us may still be working, others may be off work. Some people may be, you know, spending more time at home with their families and kids, whatever it might be. There's no doubt been a shift in your life, an adjustment, and I've had lots of people messaging me saying, you know, how do I. How do I not be in the office? You know, how do I not have this routine in this schedule. Schedule that I'm used to? And now I'm taken out of it, and now my life. I Didn't realize life would feel so different if I just stepped out my routine just for a few days and what might now be a few weeks and a few months and possibly even longer. And routine is incredibly important. So I've had lots of people reaching out, both friends, clients, and others who've just really wanted to understand what they can best do. And trust me, I'm still working it out. Okay? This, as I said, this is something that's totally brand new for all of us, and we're just trying to work it out as best as I can. So. But. But having my own business and, you know, perhaps not being around the same people all the time, you know, my routine changes a lot, and there's a lot of sort of, you know, I can't always see the same people every day, and I can't always spend time with the same people every day. And, you know, it's. It's very, very strange at the moment. And so those experiences that I've had might be able to help serve people now, but also actually listening to some other people and some other information that's been passed my way in terms of what people could be doing, I actually thought was really useful and that might be worth sharing as well. So here's a list. Okay, here's a list. I don't know how long this list is going to be, but here's a list of things that we could be doing, a list of things that actually might be able to, you know, help make things a bit easier for us, but also a list of things to bear in mind, you know, to keep on top of this. Because the isolation and the sense of loneliness that some people will be feeling, it really does affect people's mental health. And so both in terms of taking care of your mental health, but also actually how you might be able to help other people, you know, who might be suffering from the loneliness and isolation, you know, how you can help them in terms of just giving them some time, you know, for you. For you to listen to them. Okay, so we're feeling a lot of uncertainty now. One of the things that really impacts the tone of our day is what we do first thing in the morning. Okay, Scientifically proven that the first 20 minutes of our day, how we use those 20 minutes when we're still in a state of REM, or rapid eye movement, which is the same thing that's happening when you're sleeping, we've got to open up that, you know, that subconscious is open in those first 20 minutes of the day. So that's why it feels very stressful or anxious or very impressionable in those first 20 minutes. So I want you to think about how you're going to fill those 20 minutes every single day. And here's the thing. Of all the things we talk about that you can implement into a routine, I just want you to take one of them. I just want you to take one idea. I might list off 5, 10 different ideas, but take one, just try one and stick with it. And then when everything calms down in the world, that we actually keep it up. And we find it's this positive habit that really does enforce our life and, you know, enforce what we're trying to do and what we're about and keep things on track. Okay? So dealing with the uncertainty first thing in the morning. That's first 20 minutes. I want you to think of three things that you could be incredibly grateful for. Three things that you can be grateful for. Whether it is family, whether it's a partner, whether it's friends, whether it's your career, whether it's your body, whether it's your health, whatever it might be. Three things that you can be incredibly grateful for, even if it's something really simple. Really simple. That. The fact that you can go for a walk outside. I know there are a lot of restrictions, but you can still be outside. You still go for a walk just around your area. You can see sunlight, you can get fresh air. All things that we take for granted all of the time. And perhaps the things that we have been taking for granted at the moment, you know, all those things that we've been taking for granted and that we can't do at the moment is an opportunity right now that actually we recognize how important and valuable they are. And that when we are. When those things are back present in our life, that we actually do continue to appreciate them. We don't just fall back into that habit of, oh, yeah, well, I expect this. Trade your expectations for appreciation, especially in this period right now. Let's remove some of the expectations of how life should be and just appreciate what we do have. I want you to start your morning that way. And then I want you to find either two songs or, you know, two songs that give you a huge amount of energy and a smile and make you want to dance. And maybe you've had a past experience where you've just felt alive with it and you've just felt, you know, awake and you've just felt vibrant. It just shifted your whole body. Two songs that you can listen to at that point and listen to multiple points the day. Alternatively, listen to something that makes you smile or makes you laugh. That's the thing I do is I want. I want to feel laughter because laughter, you know, sticks in the body for quite a long period of time. And so it can, you know, it's a way to positively reinforce the message in the body of wanting to feel happy and, you know, have laughter and smiling and all of those stuff, all of those things when things around us in the external world may be making us want to feel a different way. And so I want you to implement those things in the first 20 minutes of your day because that will impact the tone of your day, that will change how you feel the rest of the day. So take pride in those first 20 minutes that you take control. You know, I don't hope to wake up feeling good. I make sure that's the case by what I do every single morning. I've been doing it for years and it makes a huge difference. The other thing is a cold shower. Now most of you be going, oh, no, David, you lost me now. Absolutely no way in hell am I doing that. And that's fine. What it does is it, you know, removes the lactic acid in the body, you know, brings in new. Fresh blood, new oxygen, and it helps to sort of, you know, kickstart your body and kickstart your day again. It helps reduce fatigue and tiredness and those things, you know, energy is the oxygen to confidence. I always say that. And so fatigue and tiredness, it's just going to make. It's just going to bring you down, and it's just going to make it harder and harder to have that positive enthusiasm that you're. That's required at this point to keep yourself moving, to stay motivated, to stay encouraged, to do the work that you could be doing right now. Okay, next I want to talk about is loneliness. And there's a. There's a quote in a film, which I think it was Green Book, where it says the world is full of lonely people waiting for someone to make the first move. You may feel lonely and isolated right now. No doubt there are other people in your life who feel exactly the same way. Just as much as you would appreciate someone reaching out with a text or a call or whatever it might be, is, why don't you do it for someone else? Someone else who might be struggling. And, you know, whether it's every other day or whatever, you just send a text to someone with no other nothing else, just to say, you know, how are you doing? Is there anything I can help with that? You're not asking for anything in return. You're just giving unconditionally. Being able to give unconditionally is one of the most beautiful gifts on earth. And continually giving, giving unconditionally. It's strange how amazing that feeling is because we all think we would want something in return. But when we actually give to people without wanting something in return, actually from the goodness of our heart, you get a different feeling, a different sense of fulfillment. And that's what I want you to experience even more. So, you know, whether it's once a day, once every other day, once a week, whatever, you just reach out with a text to someone just to see how they're doing and then just let the conversation warm up. Maybe it's someone you haven't spoken to for a while and you want to get back in touch. Not get back in touch and say, oh, let's do this, let's do this, let's be, you know, whatever, but just something warm to them. Just, you know, how are things going? I know it's been. I'm spoken for a while. It's a bit crazy. I just wanted to check in and just see if everything's okay at your end. You have no idea how much people appreciate that. I know you would appreciate it. And so why don't you give first? Why don't. At this point when we've stopped, we have put no time to think that we actually think, rather than, how can I sort things out in my life? You know, how can I give to someone else right now and, you know, make sure that you take care of yourself as well. But actually giving to others, it will make such a difference to you as well. Okay, so we've talked about the morning, we've talked about reaching out to people. Now I want to continue this kind of feeling of daily routine. Okay, so we've got the morning sorted, right? And some point in the day we can reach it. Maybe same time each day, you just send a text to someone, whether it's 11:00am and you just go, you know what? I'll reach out some of the text, just see how they're doing. Now the other thing we need to incorporate in our routine is exercise again. Now, some people might be thinking, oh, David, exercise is not my thing. Well, let's make it your thing. Okay, let's make it your thing. Because you don't need equipment, you don't need the world to, you know, be watching for you to work out, you know, at home. That you. You decide to put a plan in place, by all means, reach out to me if you want to. Also help in terms of actually, you know, what's the workout that I'm doing at the moment? Okay. So if you want any help, then feel free to reach out to me. But, you know, keeping that blood flow, you know, recent reach, it releases endorphins that help us, make us feel better, make us feel good. Actually. It helps us tick something off each day. Like, actually, I've done something good. I'm growing and I'm progressing. Maybe your body's in really good place and you're actually worried about losing gains and whatever. Okay. So life is, you know, is testing us. Let's. Let's find a way that actually we can keep up and we can work out in a completely different way. And actually we realize, wow, we've got so many options, right? To stay fit, to stay strong and these sorts of things. Learning what you might learn now for when you travel in the future, when you go to places but you want to keep up your exercise, you now know, having learned through this period. Actually, here is a routine that I can do that, that really works for me. And the thing is, don't do it once and go, oh, I feel this. That. Commit to four weeks minimum to say, you know what? For the next four weeks, I will exercise every day. Okay. And then we'll have a progressive overload. Whether it's more reps or bit more time doing it or whatever it might be. But just say, whatever happens, four weeks, four weeks, I'll commit to that level of exercise and actually I'll feel better for a bit and it'll actually help me with my mental health and I'll actually feel more positive and it'll keep me strong and it'll keep me motivated during the day. You know, when you feel like your body is kind of wasting away to a certain extent again, it just makes you feel a bit meh, you know, you don't really want to do too much, so you don't really feel. And there might be things that you have to do right now you have to keep on top of with the pressures around us. So exercise will be a huge part of keeping all of that stuff. Now, the other thing is, yeah, we want exercise now. You've got to find exercise that you enjoy, but we've also got to find during all of this that whilst this is a difficult time, we're going to find ways that we're actually rewarding ourselves. Okay, how are we giving Ourselves time or rewarding ourselves, the exercise or whatever. How are we actually making sure that, you know, we're saying, you know, David, well done, like you've managed to get this done today. Good on you. Here's the reward, you know, whoever. How are you going to reward yourself and whatever stimulation it might be, Whether you've got like a, you know, your favorite TV show at the moment that you're going to schedule in each evening that actually I'm gonna watch an episode, and I know that might be very, very hard to do because you're going to be end up binge watching about seven episodes all at once. And I'm watching Ozark at the moment. And gonna be honest, I'm struggling to. I struggle with the discipline of not watching more than one episode. But. But anyway, whatever it is, whatever, whatever program, whatever show you schedule that in, in your day, that you actually go, yeah, that's something to look forward to. Whether it's TV program, whether it's a book that you're reading, whether it's, you know, something to learn, whether it's, as I said, reach. Maybe that's the time you reach out to someone. Okay, Whatever it might be. And you know, that might move us on to the second thing in terms of stimulation. You know, love and connection is such a huge part of life, but there is a difference between texting, calling and seeing someone via video. Okay, Texting to the one which just feels incredibly impersonal. Speaking to someone on the phone. I know some people think, oh, can't actually call someone now. I have to leave like a voice note or something. Well, why don't. We actually could learn to call people again. You know, actually this is what people used to do. And back in the day when, you know, you didn't have all the other functionalities of a phone, people actually called people. So why don't we actually just practice speaking to someone on the phone, actually improve our communication skills. Even better than that. You get Skype or Zoom or something like that that you, you know, you and a handful of people close to you get all get it. And you just maybe for half an hour each day or every other day or whatever, that you just connect and you can go on like a group video call, you can have a discussion, you can like stay connected with people, and that will be, again, really healthy for your mental health. So that's another way to keep stimulated, you know, but the other forms of stimulation, whatever, entertainment, whatever, you enjoy doing something that you can do inside the home or literally just outside the Home, whether you've got a garden or just somewhere that you can just not stray too far, something that you enjoy or find something new that you would enjoy, something that you've put off for a while, then here's an opportunity, okay? Because we can see this period of isolation, this period of, you know, social distancing and all of this stuff as a problem. And it's tough and there are pressures, but what are the opportunities within all of this? Okay, so that's what you could be doing at the moment. What else? Now, all those, aside from the simulation, what are the jobs that you've put off for a long time that actually were causing you anxiety, causing you pressure, because you weren't getting around to doing them. You weren't getting around to doing them. And so actually, now it's like you've got this perfect opportunity to actually remove anxiety, remove stress in your life, but getting those jobs done by actually, like clearing up this or doing the DIY or fixing or whatever it might be, whatever you need to do, you know, sort out, blah, blah, blah. Why don't we actually spend some time removing that stress and pressure that we've left for ages and had been increasing the level of pressure on you? Yes, there's different sorts of pressures now, but let's take away some of the pressures that we couldn't take away beforehand and actually start to feel a bit more comfortable, a bit easier about everything again. Now, one of the things that I should have mentioned when it comes to exercise is yoga and Pilates, right? So I've been doing. I do yoga once a week. I do Pilates twice a week, okay? I am obsessed with it because both in terms of how your body feels after performing the exercises, and it releases all the strains and tensions in the body, but actually the sort of. What's a meditative aspect to it, just your mind just kind of just drifts and wanders. And so, you know, whether you can go on YouTube and watch like a yoga video or a Pilates video or whatever, just start to feel you've got a bit of peace and relaxation. You don't have to have an intense workout all the time. Just be able to unwind and relax. And it gives you that. It gives you. Helps your brain sort of take a step back a little bit so you can see the whole picture, see everything strategically. What are the dangers of when you're in isolation and you're trying to be busy doing all of this and that whatever is actually. You get too involved in the work and you end up Just working for work sake, almost to stay distracted, when actually you can create, you know, if you just take a step back somehow to see everything strategically it works out okay. I just need to do this, this and this and that's. It's as simple as that. Things like yoga and Pilates are really good at just helping your mind take a step back just to kind of let your thoughts drift a little bit, just to ease everything that might be going on at the moment. So other things I wanted to mention on top of exercise, getting sunlight, you know, releasing that vitamin D and whatever makes a huge, huge difference of getting sunlight, eating a balanced diet, okay, your greens, you know, that helps to reduce, that's your greens, your veg and everything like that. Being alkaline, it helps to reduce the acidity in the body. And reducing the acidity reduces the inflammation. The body inflammation is part of what fatigues us and tires us. So make sure you're drinking enough water and get enough greens involved that actually, you know, it's going to start alleviating some of the inflammation. But actually just in that in itself will give you the energy that you need to again, crack on with your day. We can still go walking, we can still go running, we can still go cycling. There's so many different things we could be doing with this time. But one of the biggest things I wanted to mention, and again, some of these ideas have been, you know, some I've thought of, some of which have been, have been shared with me by other people, but one that my, my mum actually mentioned to me, she thought of a few of these ideas, but one that she mentioned to me was when it comes to actually spending time checking on what's the latest with coronavirus, you know, it can be, can be kind of addictive to sort of check the news and check the latest and check everything that's going on, check the scale of things and actually creates a lot of stress and anxiety. And you know, you are what you focus on. You know, like people say, you are what you eat, you are what you consume, both in terms of what you watch, what you listen to, all of this stuff. So we need to keep up to date, we need to keep informed of the latest. And so we can check once a day, you know, check once a day, but no more, you don't have to. And I know it's hard to be when you're being on your phones and you know, the news is always there and stuff like that, so I'll come to that in a second. But not sort of Checking the news as often or keeping in touch with all of it. Because what my mum would say is, you know, save. Save some space in your brain to think about other things. Okay, so again, it's. It's one of those things. Yes, it's the news. If you watch the news all of the time, every day anyway, you'd be stressed out your mind because the news is going to show you the tough things that are going on in life. So some of you might be listening and watching the news more than usual or if you've been doing it anyway, it's not just because it's coronavirus, you watch the news all the time. It is tough, it is scary. Okay, so I sort of limit the amount of time you watch and listen to the news anyway. But this time just maybe once a day check in just to see what the latest is. But that kind of idea that actually you don't have to be consumed by this. There's lots of other things that we could be focusing on that can entertain us. And one of, one of the key things I'll get to in a second, one of the key messages, why this video is so important. Get to in a second. But just to touch on the social media aspect. You know, it's. Social media is great because it does allow you to stay connected. But. But I also want you to control the use of it. We have to be disciplined. Don't, you know, don't use social media first thing in the morning. Don't use it last thing at night. Use it to stay in contact with people and stay in touch with people. That's why it's there. Right, but aside from that, you know, we don't have to be scrolling through for half an hour now. Just put your phone aside for a little while. You got to do work. If you've got other things going on, whatever it might be, just have some space away from your phone and actually learn how to not be addicted to your phone. Learn how to enjoy and be entertained by other things. And that kind of leads on to the main thing I wanted to say in this video. At some point in your life, you're gonna feel lonely. You're gonna feel isolated again, not just now. At some point in life, you will feel lonely and isolated. I know lots of people who feel that way. I have felt that in the past. You will feel lonely and isolated because you just go through different phases of life. And understanding two things. One, how to actually enjoy your own company is really important. But the second aspect is how can we get Better at connecting with people and staying in touch with people and giving unconditionally to people. Those two things, how to enjoy your own company and how to stay connected with people. I want you to use this period right now to learn those two lessons, however it looks for you. If you use any of the ideas I've mentioned today or any other ideas that you may have heard of, you know, whatever it might be, learning how to do both those things is going to serve you so well in the future. So well that you've got a reference point to go back to that you're not going to get this horrible surprise. At least when you do it now. At least when you do it now, you know that everyone else is trying to. Trying to. Is finding it difficult to try to figure it out. Another point, if you had to learn this lesson, you might have felt like you are just doing it on your own and everyone else is fine. At least right now you're learning it whilst you know everyone else is struggling with the same thing. Okay? So understanding both those aspects, how to enjoy your own company and how to stay connected with people, it's going to serve you so well in the future. So do not miss this opportunity. There are too many pressures, too many problems that are coming about with all of this stuff to not also recognize this as an opportunity to grow and further and better ourselves, hopefully get through this difficult time a little bit easier. Okay? So I just wanted to share some ideas with you. I know it's a difficult time. We're all struggling with it. We're all in it together. And I feel for you. And look, if you ever need someone to reach out, you can certainly reach out to me. But this has been David Holman. If you've changed today, today will change your life. So enjoy the rest of your day. Enjoy the rest of your life. I'll speak to you again soon.