#452: Rebuilding Self-Belief...

And open your eyes. Bloody hell. So how do you feel? You're amazing. Glowing. The story you're about to hear is real. A real client working with David Holman to achieve extraordinary results. David has worked with high performers such as Olympic athletes and business owners, as well as those looking to develop meaningful relationships. Aside from names and certain characteristics which have been changed to protect clients confidentiality, all other details are true. This special season is brought to you by the Self Belief Chief podcast. We're going to do something different today. I'm going to take a client through a strategy that you can do at exactly the same time. It's called scratching. If you imagine a record player, when a record plays, it has a sound, but when you scratch the record, it changes that sound. Well, we have pictures in our mind, pictures of what we want and pictures of what we don't want. And we can have painful pictures. Pictures have a lot of emotion inside of them. The picture we have in our mind has a lot of emotion inside of it. If I can scratch that picture, it changes how we feel. So the client's gone through a traumatic experience, but they don't even have to share it with me in order to do this exercise. I call it a blind strategy, where it actually saves the person from having to talk about the experience. They can just process it by following certain steps. I did this exercise a while back with a woman. She'd wanted to meet someone new, but a number of years previously, her husband had passed away and she'd actually had to turn off his life support. So whenever she met someone, I think it was about four years later, the idea of meeting someone else, she was just filled with guilt all the time. And that picture of her husband in the hospital bed with dogs keep coming back. So I did this very exercise with her. Six weeks later, she went on a date. She'd freed herself of the guilt, and it's because I helped her not only scratch the picture, but helped to create a new picture in her mind that whenever the old picture would come in, the new picture would follow it, and the new picture would be this bright, compelling, beautiful picture. So she could never dwell on the old picture, because as soon as the old picture came in, the new picture came in straight away. It changed her system, changed her feeling, and it gave her permission to meet someone again without feeling the guilt. If you're going to do this strategy at the same time, I say, please don't be driving or doing something else at the same time. Get comfortable, prepare yourself, and just allow yourself to relax and Switch off. Just follow the steps along. You'll get a sense of how life changing this exercise is when you hear the client's response at the end. Let's get into the episode. Okay. And we're just going through. Back through that box. Breathing again. We'll just do it four or five times. So when you're ready. After three. 1, 2, 3. Breathe in 2, 3, 4. And hold, 2, 3, 4. And out, 2, 3, 4. And hold, 2, 3, 4. And in 2, 3, 4. And Hold, 2, 3, 4. out, 2, 3, 4. And hold, 2, 3,4. And in 2, 3, 4. hold, 2, 3, 4. And out, 2, 3,4. And hold, 2, 3,. I just want you to settle and feel very accepting of however you feel. Keeping your eyes closed, I just want you to roll your eyes up to towards your eyebrows. As you do that, you should feel them flutter ever so slightly. Keeping your eyes there, we'll just go back into some gentle breathing once again. So after three, we'll just start breathing in. So 1, 2, 3, breathe in 2, 3, 4. Hold, 2, 3, 4. And out, 2, 3, 4. And hold, 2, 3, 4. in, 2, 3, 4.& hold, 2, 3, 4.& out, 2, 3, 4. hold, 2, 3,4. And just keep your breathing at that similar pace. And just let go of any tension in the body. And just allow yourself to settle and accept however you feel. Keeping your eyes closed, just relax your eyes back down to a normal level and you should feel yourself drifting ever so slightly. What I'd like you to do now is imagine yourself on a balcony looking over at the ocean, Feeling the heat of the sun against your skin, feeling the warmth. To the side of the balcony are 10 steps, 10 steps down that we're going to take together. And with each step, we're going to drift deeper and deeper and we'll take our time going down those steps. So when you're ready, walk over to the stairs. And in your own time, take step one, feeling the texture and temperature of the stairs underneath your bare foot. And step two. And step three, drifting deeper and deeper. And step four. And step five, halfway down. And step six, feeling the texture and temperature underneath your feet. And step seven. And step eight, drifting deeper and deeper. And step nine. And when you're ready, just take that final step down. And just allow yourself to drift and feel very accepting of however you feel. I want you to imagine a lemon in your left hand. Imagine taking a bite out of that lemon. Notice how the saliva starts building up in the mouth. Just even imagining taking a bite. That's how powerful the subconscious mind is. In this state, we can change things forever. I would like you to imagine you're in a cinema, sitting in the first row. I want you to sit down in that first row, looking up at the cinema screen. And on the cinema screen, I want you to place the scene that's been causing you pain, that's caused you worry, the scene that you can't get out of your mind. I want you to see the scene up on the screen. And I want you to imagine that scene. And just give me a gentle nod when you can feel that scene. And the worry and stress is at a 9 out of 10 for you. So when you can see that scene. Perfect. Good. What I would like you to do with that scene is to change the characters into cartoons. Maybe even make them cartoon animals. Change the colours, the sillier the better. Maybe give the characters silly voices or silly animal sounds. Make it bright and colorful, change the colors so it feels better. Change how they look, how you see them. And what we're going to do with this new scene where we've changed the characters into cartoons, cartoon animals with silly sounds, is we're going to play the scene forwards, then play it in reverse and forwards again. So I'll count you in. So after three, just play this new version of the scene forwards. So 1, 2 and 3, play this scene out forwards. And then play the scene in reverse. And play this new scene forwards again. And play it in reverse. And play it forwards again. And play it in reverse. What I'd like you to do is move three rows further back and sit down again. And of course, as you move further back, the screen starts to look smaller. Taking that new version of the scene, I want you to make it even sillier, even more cartoonish, even more ridiculous, even stranger noises, The sillier the better. And then make it sillier again. Change the characters completely, whether it's making them fluffy or giving them a tail. And with this new version of the scene once again, we're going to play it forwards and then in reverse. So after three, we'll play it forwards. So 1, 2 and 3, play it forwards. And in reverse. And forwards. And in reverse. And forwards. And in reverse. What I'd like you to do is move three rows further back and sit down again. And of course, as you've moved further back, the screen looks smaller again. Taking that news scene, I want you to make it sillier again, even more cartoonish, even stranger sounds, even funnier noises, As silly as it can be, Once Again, we'll play the scene forwards and in reverse. So after three, we'll play it forwards. So 1, 2 and 3, play it forwards. And in reverse. And forwards. And in reverse. And forwards. And in reverse. And forwards. And in reverse. What I'd like you to do is move three seats further back. And in fact, you're in the back row of the cinema. Just sit down again. And of course, as you move further back, the screen gets smaller. And as you take this new scene, I want you to make it sillier again. Make the colors brighter, more cartoonish, funnier sounds, stranger noises, as silly as possible. And again we'll just play this scene forwards and in reverse. So after three, we'll play it forwards. So 1, 2, 3, play it forwards. Hand in reverse. Play it forwards. And in reverse. Play it forwards, Play it in reverse. What I'd like you to do now is you're going to move behind the projector that's playing this film. And as of course, you move back, the screen gets smaller. You may even barely see the screen at this point. And once again, we're just going to make the scene even sillier, even more cartoonish, even stranger, even funnier noises, the sillier the better. Just a really silly scene with all these cartoon characters. And we're going to play the scene forwards and backwards. So after three, we'll play it forwards. 1, 2 and 3. Play it forwards. And in reverse. Play it forwards. And in reverse. Play it forwards. And in reverse. I now want you to take this new version of the scene and just place it in your mind in front of you. And in the bottom right hand corner of that picture. I want you to start thinking of a new picture, A new scene. Maybe it's a wonderful moment from your life. Maybe it's a wonderful moment from your future. Maybe it's a scene with all your loved ones partying together, saying all the things you've wanted to hear. You saying the words to yourself that you've always wanted to say. Maybe it's a scene full of fun and freedom. Maybe it's a scene full of love. Maybe it's a scene full of warmth. I'll just give you a moment to have a think and feel that new scene. A scene that makes you feel free. A scene that gives you every feeling that you could want. I'll give you that moment to think of that scene. And when you have that new scene and it feels right to you, just give me a gentle nod. Good. Placing that scene you've just thought of in the Bottom right hand corner. So we've got the cartoon scene. And the bottom right hand corner is this new scene. Every time I clap, I simply want you to bring that scene in the bottom right hand corner and imagine it bursting through the cartoon picture. Bursting through this new scene. Getting big and completely covering your focus and attention. And we'll do this a number of times. And each time that new picture comes through with more force. Shattering the cartoon picture and this new scene completely flooding your mind and body like a wave. So each time I clap, you just bring that new picture through with force. So picture the cartoon image for me. The cartoon picture with the cartoon animals, the silly noises, the funny sounds. Bring through that new picture with falls. Bring it through in your mind. Push it through. Bring it through that new picture, full of love and warmth and care. Now go back to the old the cartoon picture. Go back to the cartoon picture where the silly sounds and the funny noises, the cartoon characters. Bring it through that new picture with force. Breaking through that cartoon picture. Smashing through. Full of love, full of warmth, full of care. Like a wave crashing over you. You can feel it in your entire body. All of those feelings you've wanted to feel. Try and bring that cartoon picture back again. Try and bring the cartoon picture back. Full of funny characters, silly noises, silly sounds. A picture that's so silly, so cartoonish. Bring to the new picture again. Crashing through, breaking through. Full of passion, full of love through, full of care. Full of people, full of warmth. Feeling it all in your body all at once. Let it wash over you. Bring the cartoon picture back. Bring the cartoon picture back with the silly sounds and silly noise. Bring the new picture through again. Crashing through, breaking through. Full of love, passion, warmth, care, humour. All filling your body up right now. All of those feelings all in one place. Everything that you've wanted in one moment. Bring the cartoon picture back. Bring the cartoon picture back. Try and see if you're able to bring that cartoon picture back. It may even feel harder and harder each time. With the silly sounds and the silly noises, the cartoon characters, just a really silly picture. Bring through the new picture once again. Full of love, full of careful of passion, full of warmth. Like a wave crashing over you. All the people around you. Everything you want in one moment. All of the feeling, all of the humor, all of the love, all of the care. Every word you've wanted to hear in one moment. Crashing over you Like a wave. Filling your body up with every emotion and feeling you've ever wanted in one moment. Bring the old cartoon picture back again. Attempt to bring it back. Really, really try and bring it back. Bring through the new picture again. Crashing through, breaking through. Full of love, passion, care, warmth. Every word you've wanted to hear, Every emotion, every feeling, all in one moment. Like a wave crashing over you as you can feel it all. One sensation in your body. That's how powerful the mind is. Bring the old picture back again. The cartoon picture. The silly sounds and the silly noises, the silly characters. It's just a really, really silly moment. Boom. Bring it through again. Crashing through, breaking through. Full of passion, full of love, full of warmth, full of care. Every word, every emotions, complete swell, a complete wave over your entire body. Feeling it all in one moment. Really breathe it in, really digest it. Know that you can have this feeling whenever you want it. Bring the cartoon picture back one more time. That silly picture with the silly sounds and the funny noises. We bring it back one more time, knowing it will never feel quite the same again. Into the new picture again. Crashing through, breaking through, crashing through, breaking through. Full of noise, full of love, full of warmth, full of care, full of passion. Every feeling, every sensational, everything you wanted in one moment. You can create that feeling in any moment. You can have it in any moment. You can experience it. All the people that you've wanted, every word you've ever wanted to hear. That beautiful scene will always be available to you. It will now always be a part of your life. You will never think of that old picture without the new picture. Forever. They will be tucked together in tandem. And I just want you to live in that picture for a moment. Really feel it, Enjoy it. I would like you to do a deep inhale, just to really soak up every single part of it. That old scene will never, ever feel quite the same again. Sure, we might think of it from time to time. It'll just feel different. One day, you'll be walking somewhere near your home and you'll think of that old scene, but you can't even quite remember it. The same way you know it has not the same amount of power anymore. That your mind is incredibly powerful. This, right now, is one of those moments in life. Well, not only we can say enough is enough, But we finally set ourselves free. We're simply going to draw a line in the sand right now, And we're going to leave some footprints beyond it. Footprints that other people will want to follow as well. We were stood behind a projector playing that scene, and we forgot that we're the director. We produced the film, we wrote the script. All I'd like you to do is, when you're ready, is turn off the projector and open your eyes. Bloody hell. So how do you feel? Amazing. Just. Yeah, it became. It became so much harder to bring back the cartoon to the point where I couldn't. I just, you know, I get kind of, you know, when you get that kind of picture leech one where, like, you might have used an old film and you've taken the same shot twice and you can just about see it, but it just doesn't want to show through. Yeah, good. Yeah. And, yeah, I mean, thinking about that incident, actually, that brings a smile to my face. So, yeah. Climbing. I'm not going to say much at all because I'm sure that exercise has given you some food for thought. So all I say is, I hope that was useful for you. My name is David Holman. If you change today, today will change your life. So enjoy the rest of your day. Enjoy the rest of your life. I'll speak to you again soon, Sa.