#706: pt 2 of 2 Olivia Came Out the Other Side

I was having this conversation about how excited I feel, and it's ridiculous because I feel like a teenager. I haven't felt like this for years. Even the past two relationships that I had, I didn't get this excited.

The story you're about to hear is real. A real client working with David Holman to achieve extraordinary results. David has worked with high performers such as Olympic athletes and business owners, as well as those looking to develop meaningful relationships. Aside from names and certain characteristics which have been changed to protect clients confidentiality, all other details are true. This special season is brought to you by the Self Belief Chief podcast.

In the series finale, we revisit with a client who we met back in episode one, who was struggling with heartbreak, regret and rejection and had got herself to a point where the idea of meeting someone again was too terrifying and that there was too much risk of pain, that she didn't know whether she'd be able to be with someone again. Well, after months of working together, she got a smile on her face. She's grown magnificently in so many different areas of her life, including her career, her hobbies. She feels that she's more cared and supported by her friends than ever before. She has better relationships with her children. And in between one of our sessions, she sent an email. It was an email with some good news and I couldn't wait to hear all about it. How was your. Did you go on your date on Thursday?

Yeah. Did. Yeah.

Is that. Is that a good smile or is it like.

Yeah, no, that was that. This is a good smile.

Okay.

You know when. You know when you meet some. I've never. I was having this conversation about how excited I feel and it's ridiculous because I feel like a teenager. Haven't felt like this for years, even the past two relationships that I had. But I didn't get this excited. It just makes me laugh and he gets me. And his humor is so like mine. But it's great because it's just. We understand. Yeah, we just understand the humor. Nobody else gets it, but. Yeah.

What sort of hue. What. What are you laughing about?

Just when he messages, I can imagine him talking and it's making me laugh because it's just funny because, like last night he messaged me. He said, oh, I'm just ringing, I'm just messaging. You say sleep tight. I don't know why I'm saying sleep tight because I don't think you're tight with money. And then it goes off on it. Yeah, you see, you're laughing. I think that's really? And then he's going, I don't know where that's come from. I might have to Google it, because it's got to be a saying, hasn't it? So then that makes me Google it. So then I messaged him back and said, oh, it's to do with bed springs when you were younger.

That makes more sense. Yeah, that makes more sense, but you.

Know what I mean. So he's. He's sparking ideas in me to go. And it's just. Yeah, it sounds ridiculous, but it does make me laugh. And he wings me all the time. And. Yeah, he was. He was really generous when he came down. He insisted on paying for everything and he was a real gentleman and he said it was nice to. He said it was nice to peel some of the layers back about Mises, because I think you're very deep and you come across as this really positive, happy person. But I think there's more to you than that, which I thought was quite insightful of him. So we didn't talk about him. Heavy stuff. But we talked. We touched on it, which was lovely. I didn't feel like I was at an interview. And he said he didn't feel like it was an interview. He knew my daughter was coming, which was great. So he messaged me on Friday and said, have a lovely time with your daughter. I don't expect to hear from you, but if I do, it'd be lovely. So I went out of my way. Not went out of my way. I made a point of ringing him on the Saturday morning and the Sunday morning, and he thought that was. He says, oh, thank you for thinking it's all because I wanted to. But, yeah, he's. Yay. He makes me smile.

Lovely. So when you. What's your future plans?

He's bringing me tonight and we're going to arrange to meet again, but he's told his sister about me, which I think is very strange. Yeah. Is that good? I thought that. I thought. I think it's good. Is it? He went out with his sister on Saturday night to the theater and he said, oh, I've told my sister about you.

It's not a bad. It's not a bad thing.

Yeah, that's quite good. So, yeah, and he's. He just asks me the kind of things I like to do and he says, what I love about you is you were always doing stuff and you're always having adventures. He says, I've never met anybody like you. And he said, I have imagined that if I just said to you right, Pack a bag and I'm not sure where we go. I'm just going to go in the car. He said, you'd just say yes, wouldn't you? He said you wouldn't even ask, would you? I went, no, I wouldn't ask. I just get in the car. So he quite likes the adventure, fun side of me, so.

Well, it's very nice to hear.

Yeah, thank you.

Well done.

I'm putting all. Everything that you've taught me into practice.

It's an amazing feeling as a coach, when your clients, they implement the actions and they see the results they've always dreamt of. It was nice, the words that she said at the end that she just put what I'd said into practice. But the truth is, as I said in a previous episode, life is not about learning, it's about implementation. And I can show clients how to improve the ability to implement, but I can't do it for them. I can ask the right questions or show them the right frameworks or models. And in this case, I took her through five steps in order to know how to attract your ideal partner. Which? Step one is the vision, clearly of what you want. The second step is closing the gap. How do we close the gap between where you are and your ideal partner? Step three is the marketing plan. Step four is take action. And step five is test and learn. Like anything in life, she followed those actions down to a T. She implemented it in her way that she could best do. So I'm incredibly proud of her. Life is a really funny thing. Sometimes it can feel like the darkest of places for such long phases of our life. Sometimes it's hard to see the picture when you're in the frame. So I'm going to help you right now. What? You didn't really think we'd get through the whole series without me helping you as well? It's called how can I change your life? So let me, in the next couple minutes, plant a seed for you that will grow into something. I want you to imagine an empty chair opposite you. Or you might be able to see an empty chair right now opposite you. And I want you to look at that empty chair, wherever it is. Go find it and look at it. And in that empty chair, there's actually someone sat there. I want you to see someone confident, capable, successful, full of love, kind, warm, can handle almost everything. They're friendly, they smile, they're gentle, they're efficient, they're productive. I want you to see them in this chair and I want you to imagine how they sat? What do they do with their legs, their arms? How do they hold themselves? How do they carry themselves? Where do they look? Are their feet pointing towards you? How do they talk to you? I want you to imagine all of that. Imagine how they breathe when they love life. I want you to now imagine them standing up. Standing up. And again, how do they look? Someone that absolutely loves life. They have meaningful relationships, great support, wonderful people around them. They're a great communicator. They light up the room. They make people feel good about themselves. They, as an individual, feel good about themselves. I want you to imagine everything. Do they look at you? Do they stand up straight? How do they breathe? What do they do with their arms? Are they jumping? Are they spinning? Are they dancing? How do you know that they love and enjoy life? I want you to imagine all of that right now. This is the key part. What I'd like you to now do is go and stand in that spot in front of that empty chair and look back to where you're currently sitting. I sincerely mean do it now. Go and do it, because this will change everything. Go and stand there and look back where you were once sitting and stand in the way that you just described that person standing. Focus on how they breathe, what they do with their arms, what they do with their body, how they move. Focus and concentrate on all of that. What do they think about? What do they focus on when they love and enjoy life? How do they treat people? Look back to where you were sitting and talk to them and give them advice about what they could change or what they could improve to really upgrade their life. How can they change their physiology and therefore the hormone balance in the body and change the biochemistry? How can they change their language? How can they be that loving, warm presence that they want to be? How can they have more love in their life? Give them all these answers. Because standing in this spot, you have them. And as you stand here, in this version of you, confident and capable, and you feel different, you feel stronger. I want you to give this version of yourself a name. A name that you'll never forget. A name that represents this version that you're standing in right here, full of love, full of care, full of beauty, full of warmth, kindness. Someone who's successful, capable, full of love and meaningful relationships. Give this version of you a name, whatever it is. And this name, this version of you, is something you can always come back to. And I'll leave you with this. What one change today would change your life, Sam?