An Analysis Of Donald Trump | Ep 120

People seem to forget if you change today, today will change your life. For a limited time only. For those of you enjoying the podcast, I'm offering a free coaching session. That's right, a free coaching session for those of you who want to improve in their performance or their business or their relationships or any other area where confidence is a key ingredient. Then on the Self Belief Chief site, on the podcast page, self beliefs.com podcast underneath the episodes, you'll be able to book your own coaching session for free with me or wherever you're listening to the podcast in the description. There'll also be a link to be able to book your session. I look forward to speaking to you soon. And let's get on with the podcast. We looked on in horror as a group of Trump supporters took over the State Capitol. It was one of those surreal moments that you don't really expect to see all stoked by a man who just defies belief really that that exists, that that person could be such a bad loser that they would create and cause such a horrific scene. And I was reflecting on this and amongst all the horrendous things that Trump has said or done, part of the equation has to be considered as well about the psychology of the man. And we don't have enough time today to go through all of it. But what is it that appeals to some about the Donald Trump? I want to mention a few things, maybe not even the things at the top of the list of why people, some people wanted him president, why some people see him as a good man when everything else says otherwise. I wanted to highlight a few things because nonetheless it is an interesting subject. But also his presidency has been a warning. Like in history many times there are warnings. There's a, you know, well known saying of if you fail to learn and appreciate the history that's come before you, you're destined to repeat it. There will always be difficult moments in history, but having a president like Donald Trump is something that I'm sure many, many people around the world will hope can be prevented again. Now there's one thing I think nearly everyone can agree on with Donald Trump. He's a narcissist. I once heard a psychologist speak of Donald Trump and say he now saves all of the videos of Donald Trump speaking because he knows that for his his lectures with his students there will be no better example in history of a narcissist then Donald Trump. And the thing is about the phrase narcissist is it's something I hear when I speak to new people all the time people constantly referring to other people as narcissists. It's one, it's, it's surprisingly common that people will go to the word narcissist. But Donald Trump is the true sort of exuberance of what being a narcissist is. Now, where, what does narcissist, where does it come from? Well, it actually comes from an ancient Greek legend of a beautiful boy called Narcissus who falls so completely in love with his reflection of himself in a pool that he plunges and falls into the water and drowns. Now, the story provides the mythical source for the kind of modern concept of narcissism, which is conceived as the excessive self love and the attendant qualities of grandiosity and a sense of entitlement. Highly narcissistic people are always trying to draw attention to themselves, and Donald Trump is clearly that. But I think sometimes when people look at others who are confident or arrogant or narcissistic, whichever category, you know, for people who show a sense of being comfortable with themselves, you can't help but think that there will be a percentage of people that look at that and wish that they had that level of self confidence. And yes, it's beyond self confidence, but they want to be that kind of big, brash sense rather than be the shy, timid person, which maybe hasn't served them in their life. But that's not, of course, the only thing. Of course it's not. I think looking at Donald Trump's body language is important as well. He knows what he's doing. He really, and as a politician, he really knows what he's doing. He knows how to hold and present himself. If you look at very simple mannerisms of, if you ever seen him kind of extend out his hand and put his index finger and his thumb together as he talks about, that signifies that he's sort of on point, that he can be accurate, that he actually is clear on the problem. That's what that presents was other people talk and sort of wave their hands. He's pointed in what he's doing and he's precise. Now, does it mean his actual policies are. No, but he's presenting that he is, that he knows what he's talking about. And he walks not a, not any real pace, but in his own stride. And that's also a characteristic of someone who's very comfortable. But it's also where we look at that, people can look at that and go, oh, he's sure. If he's sure of himself, he's sure of what he's doing this is probably one of the most telling ones, though. A real sign of social dominance or a desire for dominance. Look at any video of Donald Trump shaking someone's hand. He will grab the hand and roll his hand over the top of their hand. Now, having your hand on top of someone else's hand when you're shaking hands is a dominant position. People who are sort of more open and empathetic might roll their hand underneath, allow the other person to have their hand on top. But otherwise a neutral handshake is what's seen as reasonable and. And feels good to both parties. But he'll roll his hand over. Not only will he roll his hand over, there are videos on this, on YouTube. Watch how long he will not only just shake that person's hand, but shake that person's arm in their body with it. That actually he won't let go of the hand until he's ready. That actually he can move the other person's body and tug at them to give that. Give himself that edge that he clearly, clearly needs, that he clearly, clearly wants. And how he has his chin tilted up. If you think of someone who's shy or timid, it's. Everything's pointed down, sort of closed off. He presents himself wide and big and open, and it gives off this sort of level of, you know, confidence that you just, you. You rarely see. But with the, you know, with people looking through certain eyes, it demonstrates or it pretends or shows up as he knows what he's doing. He must be sure who. You can only be that confident if you're unbelievably good at what you do. Well, he's clearly not, but he presents that way. And that's part of the. That's part of what's got him to where he is in his life, is that ability. His body language demonstrates everything that he's in control of the situation. Why? Because he believes he is. But here's one of the main things. One of those motivations is anger is fury, is anger, is to drum up anger in other people is to tap into sort of the idea of contagion and that actually anything else that's not part of his group or his world or his people is infecting it. It's not just that they're different, is that it's infecting it. And it creates that siege us against their mentality, which does tap into the idea of social dominance. Anger in some people's eyes is anger, but anger is also can be easily translated to being dominant. To being in control. Think of when you're, think of when anyone's angry. Why do they get angry? Actually, if I get angry enough, the other person will listen to me. I am taking control of the situation. If I get angry enough, the other person will respond. And it's manipulative in that way. But he stokes that fuel, stokes that anger with the anger that people feel. They get addicted to a sense of control that they feel when they're actually feeling angry. Then they feel that kind of fury and anger, tap that into a siege mentality where that person who, who's using that anger and feels in control can look at other people and go, well, I'm part of a community or group that does the same thing, that understands that anger and that fear and that frustration and fury. And now you've got that siege mentality that's hard to reverse. Now, that was probably always under the surface, but now you're creating an even tighter group, neither even tightly, more tightly knitted group. But anger isn't enough because you see people who are angry, you see people who are angry and you know, they don't get anywhere and actually pushes people away. So why does the anger get there? Well, yes, he's stoking an anger that might be there in people. But here's the other trick. If you ever watch a comedy, have you ever watched a comedy where, you know, an hour and a half through the film, you've just been laughing the whole way through, and then they'll have a moment, a poignant moment, something sad, and it will completely catch you off guard and it will completely get you, and you might start shedding tears and you didn't expect it. Humor gets people into position where they're wide open, they relax, they settle back, they ease off. So then when you hit them with the message, there's a greater emotional intensity. Donald Trump uses humor in such a way. Whether intentionally or not, the humor is what pierces through people, even the people that don't like him. Before we get to the state capitol, we talk about the last year or two. People who didn't even like him would be laughing at him. It wasn't just anger and frustration. A lot of people be laughing at him, and therefore it feels sometimes less of a threat. Sometimes we kind of ease off a little bit and we're wide open to what he has to say next because we're laughing at him, not with him. But people will be laughing. Some people laugh with him. Even the people are laughing at him because they're now wide open. It's sort of receptive to whatever he's going to say. Not that you agree, but that you'll hear it, that you'll listen. Okay, that humor wasn't there. We wouldn't be listening. But we are listening. But here's, if anything, the state, the situation, the state capital, as horrendous as it was, and it's difficult to think of any good coming from it, because there isn't any when people lose their lives. But here's something that might result in the future. The attack on the State Capitol was, of course, not all Trump supporters. In the grand scheme, it was a very small percentage. It was a lot of people, but it was a small percentage of Trump supporters. And what that small percentage of Trump supporters did is maybe something that can't be reversed. That small minority of Trump supporters attacked the one thing that is most important to all Trump supporters, America. A small minority attacked the State Capitol of those Trump supporters, but the rest of those Trump supporters weren't a part of that, wouldn't want to be a part of that. And Trump stood for bringing back, quote, unquote, America or the United States or the good old ways, even though it wasn't the case. And people believed that. People can't believe that if they're attacking the thing they love most. So that small minority might have just pushed away all the other Trump supporters to no longer be Trump supporters, as you've seen with Trump's closest advisors or people, you know, cabinet ministers, whatever it might be, who just aren't with him anymore. A lot of people, a lot of former Trump supporters will no longer be Trump supporters because he calls the attack on the one thing they love most, America. And for that, and for that mistake and for that error and for everything else that he's done, hopefully now this is a moment where actually we no longer find him humorous, or we laugh at him. We didn't appreciate, we didn't respect, but sometimes we laughed at him, and we're not laughing anymore. And maybe if we're not laughing anymore, we'll completely close off to listening to him altogether. And enough people close off listening to him altogether. There may be, like the Greek legend of Narcissus, maybe this is the moment Donald Trump finally falls into the water and drowns. My name is David Holman. If you change today, today will change your life. So enjoy the rest of your day. Enjoy the rest of your life, and I'll speak to you on the next episode.