Ask Self-Belief Chief | Ep 38 | How do I prepare for the big moments? #selfbeliefchief

Hello. Welcome to Ask Self Believe Chief, episode 38. The question today is how can I have confidence in the big moments? We all have big moments in our life. And I think this particular person is going through their exams at the moment. They want to know how can they keep their confidence in those moments? And it is tough, isn't it? Because we go through periods where what we love to do, we absolutely love it. But then a moment comes to achieve a new level, to grow us, you know, to grow our skills, to develop our expertise in that area, to reach the heights that we once thought were impossible. And finally, you know, they're in touching distance and we want to make sure that we achieve them and we want to get the best chance of holding on to them. And it is tough. So I want to suggest a few things to the. To this person who sent in the question. And thank you again for that question. How do you have confidence in the big moments? I was watching the other day Kobe Bryant pick up his Oscar at the Academy Awards for Dear Basketball. And it's a really beautiful. If you haven't seen it, it's a really, really beautiful poem. And it's his dedication to the sport of basketball, which he'd played 20 years for the LA Lakers, absolute legend of the game, and he was saying goodbye and they were retiring his jerseys. In the video or in the poem, he talks about how from a very early age, you just put a bin at the end of his bed and roll up his dad's socks and he'd throw them in the bin every single day. Just over and over and over again. No let up. Just over and over and over again. Gets into his early childhood, puts out some cones, finds a basketball, dribbles between those cones for hours and hours and hours and hours, becomes a teenager. His basketball coach is getting ready to start practice. He's there early. Walks into the gym and finds Kobe Bryant practicing in the dark where no one can see him. Kobe Bryant's been there for two hours before training has even started. And the lights haven't even been turned on in the school. Just practicing and practicing and practicing and practicing. He gets to the NBA. He finally achieves his lifelong ambition. But he works harder than everyone else. He works, he works, he works, he works. After training, end of the season, they've won the championship. Everyone's partying, everyone's holidaying. Everyone's like, yes, this is our time to relax. Kobe Bryant's back in. More drills, more drills, more drills, more drills. LA Lakers win another championship. And another. He goes down as one of the greatest basketball players of all time, Kobe Bryant experienced so many big moments, took so many game winning shots in the last few seconds of games. You love basketball, but many players, they struggle under that spotlight, under the lights, when everyone's watching them. It's their chance to achieve glory. Can you handle the, you know, can you handle those big moments in front of millions and millions of people watching Kobe Bryant, probably better than anyone else could handle the big moments. And what struck me about that poem was that through his whole life he'd immersed himself. And if you look for anybody with talent, anyone who's ever achieved anything, anyone who's got this incredible drive and passion for what they do, it's the dedication they have to what they do. They completely immerse themselves in it. When they're in it, there is no other thinking, there is no other focus. It's in there and they're zoned in. You can be good, you can be good, you can do well and you know, do a little bit here, do something else, do a little bit here, do something else, do a little bit here, do something else. You can be good, but good doesn't achieve help you achieve in the big moments. Good is what you can do the rest of the year almost in cruise control. But that's not what greats do. What greats do is they immerse themselves. They practice, they practice, they practice, they work, they work, they work, they shoot, they shoot, they shoot, they write, they write, they write. They give everything, all they have. You wouldn't fight with one arm tied behind your back, would you? No, you'd fight with everything. You wouldn't fight with your, you know, your legs tied together. No, you'd fight with everything. Whatever your big moment is, you have to be able to fight with everything. If it's your exams, you have to fight with everything. If it's that game, you have to fight with everything. If it's a game winning shot, you must fight with everything. Whatever it is, you have to fight with everything. You can't lose concentration, you can't lose focus. So I need to give you some practical tips in terms of how to actually do that. Now there are three things that change our state because it is tough in the lead up to a big moment, especially if you've not experienced it before, the level of nerves that kick in, you know, the uncertainty and not really sure what the results are going to be. And something like an exam, you don't know what the questions are going to be. How do you change your State. There are three things to change your state. What you focus on, the language you use, what you do with your body. Now in a few episodes I've spoken about what you do with your body. Something called neuro linguistic programming. For those who aren't familiar. It's the muscles in our, in our body, over time they develop new associations with the brain. Over time, we train ourselves so that when we smile, the muscles around our mouth send signals to the brain going, you're happy when you jump, it's excited when you frown, it turns your brain, you're sad and it changes those emotions. So what I need you to do is with your body is get yourself in a good and positive state. You know, shoulders back and down, sitting upright and actually preparing yourself. And get yourself in a good state when you're revising, when you're practicing, when you're rehearsing, when you're training, practice that movements with those movements of your body, get yourself a good state over and over and over and over and over again, immersing yourself that when the big moment comes, that body language is natural and a positive body language comes out, sends the right signals to the brain, wakes you up and helps you deliver in that big moment. So find out what your triggers are. But I've talked enough about that in previous episodes. The language you use now in the lead up to exams, it's easy to highlight that you're worried, it's easy to highlight that you're not sure. It's easy to highlight that you're a bit anxious, you know, in the lead up to a big game, in the lead up to a big meeting, in the lead up to a job interview, it's easy to admit that you're anxious, that you're frightened, that you're scared. But the language used again, it sends signals to the brain. And even if you do feel anxious, you know, you feel anxious, you don't need to say it. How about you say to yourself, I'm going to practice, I'm going to learn, I'm going to develop, I'm going to grow, I'm going to consume as much information as possible. Something like an exam, it's not the biggest thing in the world, but actually all that information that may come, you know, that may be super important for the rest of your life. Forget about the exam, just have a thirst for learning language. You use to say, I'm ready, I can do this, I can do this. Because you can. If you do the work, you can do it and say, I've done the Work. And it's hard to say that if you haven't done the work. So do the work. Then you can say, I've done the work. Say I can do it. Say, I will do it. And use that positive language. And people might say, oh, that's fake. No, fake it till you make it. Because eventually, over time, you do that enough, it'll become routine. You start changing the language you use with your friends, with your family, whoever. The positive side of you will come out and you're just. Your state of life will be better. That's your language. The third thing, it was your focus. Okay? And as Tony Robbins once said, whatever you focus on, you feel okay. So can you focus on the good aspects? Can you focus on how much good work that you've done? Focus on that. Your exams may be nearly finished. Focus on that. Once you've done that job interview, you can just, you know, it's out your control. You can sit back and relax and just wait for the phone call when you've got that big game, just focus on the fact that you're playing and doing what you love to do. And not many people in this world necessarily get to do that. Can you focus on all those aspects? Appreciate all those aspects in your life that have allowed you to get to this moment, all the great work you've done, because you have done so much great work. Don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes. We all fail. You must first fail before you learn how to succeed so you can do it. So what can you focus on? What are you doing? Well, the language you're using. Talk to yourself, talk to anyone else about what you're doing right rather than what you're doing wrong. And think about how you hold yourself, what you do with your body to get yourself in the right state. I've got to get myself in the right state before I do this podcast, because I've got to convey and get the messages and the passion across to you. But you have to immerse yourself, as Kobe Bryant does. And if you immerse yourself, it starts to change. A funny thing happens, it starts to change your way of thinking. Funny thing happens, you start talking differently, Funny things happen. You hold yourself differently. And the funniest thing of all is you start achieving results that were once unimaginable. Get yourself stuck in. And once you do it, and even if it's for something that you don't, you're not passionate about, immerse yourself for that period of time that you need to. And when you come out. You might think if I immerse myself with the thing that I love most in this world, maybe, just maybe, I might do something quite special. My name is David Holman. If you change today, today will change your life. So enjoy the rest of your day. Enjoy the rest of your life. Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, subscribe on YouTube. Full episodes will be on Spotify, itunes and YouTube of this show. Watch my new series Break Limits in minutes on YouTube as well and send in your questions with asksbchief or sending questions via my website as well self belief chief.com and on my website I'm giving away a few 20 spaces to my no Limits University training program as well. If you want information on that, comment below. Now if you're watching live on Instagram or just send me an email@self beliefchiefmail.com otherwise you can find that on my website and you get my book and load of training videos as well. So I'm giving 20 places away for that. But otherwise I hope you enjoyed the episode. Send in your questions and I'll see you on episode 39. Cheers.