Ask Self-Belief Chief | Ep 44 | How can I appreciate myself more? #selfbeliefchief

Hello. Welcome to episode 44 of the Ask Self Belief Chief podcast. The question I've got today is how can I appreciate myself more? And this question came to you on Instagram from Vidu Seth. So thank you for your question. If you want to follow them, it's V I D H U S E T H. Thank you very much for your question. How can I appreciate myself more? And in essence, this is what I'm trying to help people do every day. Whoever I work with is that they can understand the power of what they can do, the power, power and ability of what they have, the power they have to change, the power they have to change the people and appreciate those aspects. Because if we keep just expanding and developing and doing this and doing that and we're succeeding or we're failing or whatever, the reality is, if you don't actually appreciate the lessons you go through in the tough times and appreciate how beautiful the great moments are, then what's life really about? And it's probably the thing I find most difficult, actually, is to just be in the present and appreciate what I've got right in front of me. I can appreciate things, but appreciating the actual moment, it's a challenging thing. You know, depending on how you are and your experiences, to allow yourself to just embrace what's in front of you can be quite difficult, especially when you're someone who's always got visions in their mind of how they want the future to look. When the future becomes a reality, can you just sit there and embrace it for a second before you move on again and develop the next thing? Time is required to appreciate and embrace what you've done and who you are. And it's a challenging thing. But I want to give you a few. A few tips based on some pretty sound research from various people that I've. That I've watched, listened to, learned from, met up with whoever. The first thing to do is we can, you know, intellectually, we know what we appreciate in our life. If I said to you right now, and I want you to think of the answer, what do you appreciate in your life? You'd be able to think up of at least two or three answers. The problem is that we forget. And when we need it most and when we, looking at how bad the situation is, we forget the things. Even though no matter how small or big, we forget the things that we do really appreciate in our lives and things that really do truly make a difference. The things that I appreciate my life, I appreciate generally. My health is pretty good. You know, it can be up and down every so often, but you know, in the grand scheme of things, it's pretty good. I appreciate the friends I have in my life. You know, no matter how busy I busy I am, they are still able to be a part of it. My family, you know, for the love and support they've always given me. My partner, again for similar reasons, and always backing what I'm doing, you know, even this podcast as well, super supportive. And the fact that I can, you know, I've got the Self Belief Chief brand which allows me to engage and educate people in terms of their self belief. You know, those are things I appreciate. And what I do is, and I really suggest you do this, is you spend time the first thing in the morning to go through the things that you really appreciate. Whether it's your job, whether it's your family, whether it's your children, whether it's your parents, whatever it is, the list of things that you appreciate, that as soon as you wake up, you think of those things because at that point your, your brain waves move at a slower rate and you're more easily persuaded and convinced and influenced. So if you can be influenced by the things that you really appreciate in life and it's the most beautiful emotion that's out there, maybe up there with pride, then that lasts for the rest of the day, that influences the rest of the day. Your brain, you know, it goes, it goes through the filter. Everything goes to the filter of what it started the day with, which in this case is appreciation. So start with that. Eventually what will happen is you'll just wake up and because you've done it so often, you'll wake up and the first thing you think about is something you appreciate about, not just consciously you've thought, okay, what do I appreciate? Things will just come to you straight away as soon as you wake up. And that is a beautiful, beautiful feeling when your mind works in that way. Always thinking, what do you appreciate in your life? Sometimes it is going to be tough. So when it's tough, appreciate what you can take away, but otherwise just appreciate your life. Because at points it's going to be very challenging and you'll look back at the good times and think, I really wish I soaked that in. I really wish I took everything in in that moment. The next thing I want to suggest is actually write it down, actually take note of it, actually record it. It's the best way of not, you know, not forgetting it. On my wall, I've got a three pieces of paper going Vertically upwards. And I write good things, positive things, things that I've achieved, things people have met. Anything that has done good in my life, I write it and write it and build a tower of positivity, as I call it in my book, Thinking Lies. I talk about two towers of the mind. We have a positive tower and a negative tower. And everything in life, we add up things to build a positive or negative tower. Now the negative tower requires no conscious effort because we identify negative moments and negative things in our life and we add them all together. Okay, so you lose your car keys in the morning, okay, maybe then meeting gets cancelled, okay, maybe your friend cancels on lunch, okay, maybe, I don't know, your partner doesn't put the toilet seat down. And we just add up all these things together and it builds us this huge negative tower that at one point the tower will just fall over and that can be later, just, you know, an angry reaction or a sad reaction, whatever, or, or it can lead to something way more serious. Being able to deconstruct that negative tab is important. Now the brain subconsciously adds things up anyway because your brain isn't designed to make you happy, it's designed to help you survive. You've got a 2 million year old brain which, you know, looks for danger, looks for, you know, life threatening situations and creates a fearful reaction to, you know, keep you, keep you safe. But we don't have this quite the same fears anymore. Instead we worry about social media or we worry about if we got enough followers or whatever. So that's the negative tower and the ways to deconstruct the negative tower. And I would suggest you just listen to different episodes of the podcast to learn how you can deconstruct it. But build your positive tower and try and build it two, three, four times bigger than that negative tower. Build that positive tower. All the things, the people in your life, the things you've achieved, the, you know, holidays you've been on, the personal characteristics you like, the feedback you've had, whatever it is, just add it all together. No matter how big or small, the feeling you get through your body when you read everything you've done in your life, everything you've experienced in your life, everything that has been said in your life, and you've got it all down in one place. That feeling, that overwhelming rush you get across your body is like few things in life. And many people talk about being overwhelmed. Why don't you overwhelm yourself with all the positive things that are going on in your life, with momentum building our entire lives, but we just don't recognize it. So overwhelm yourself with how much positive stuff you do have in your life. And I know it can be difficult. I know there will be tough moments. You might be going through a tough moment right now. I know. And it is, you know, it's not easy to just smile and laugh it off or whatever. It's challenging. But if you can just find the things that you appreciate, are in your life, were in your life, or will be in your life, then you'll always be in a. In a. As good a state as you can be. You know, it doesn't necessarily when, you know, when something bad happens in your life, it doesn't necessarily correct all the wrongs, but it at least gets you in the best state possible, the most optimum state possible, and therefore the best chance to perform your highest ability. That is how you can appreciate yourself more. And if you are your best, you know, best performance level, it gives you an opportunity to give more, to grow more, and to be more grateful. For me, those are the three elements of fulfillment and those are the things we've really got to strive for. Just breaking off parts of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. So I suggested two things. Firstly, think about how you're influencing your day. First thing in the morning, think about the things that you appreciate in your life and that over time, that will make the ability to appreciate things more easy. And the second thing is to write down all the things you appreciate, maybe stick them on your wall, read them over and over again, read them multiple times a day and just overwhelm your mind with how positive your life could and can be. Life might not be where you want it to be right now, but you can change it in a second without having to even get up. Just appreciate your life more. So my name is David Holtman. If you change today, today will change your life. So enjoy the rest of your day. Enjoy the rest of your life. Make sure to follow me on Instagram, which is where I predominately am. For more episodes, catch me up on YouTube, Spotify and iTunes sending your questions to self belief chief, you know, on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Or you can send in question through my website and you can email them in. But otherwise I hope you have a great day. Hope you enjoy the rest of your life and I'll see you on episode 45. Cheers.