Ep 262: Why You Procrastinate...

So Beth wanted to move into a new career, and she says, look, David, there's something better for me. I don't want to be stuck where I am, but I have one big issue. I just procrastinate about everything. Hello and welcome to the Self Belief Chief podcast. You're here with David Holman. If you haven't done so already, please feel free to subscribe to the podcast so you can keep up to date with the latest episodes, hear the latest science, the latest research, latest experience and conversations I'm having with my clients. Otherwise, let's begin. So Beth is a procrastinator. If you're listening right now, you may well be a procrastinator as well. That might sound very, very familiar. We all know what procrastination looks like. You just can't be bothered to get on with it. There's something that you feel like stops you. And Beth's going, I really don't understand why I'm procrastinating because want to move careers. I want to change. I want to do something different. I said, okay, well, here's the key principle of procrastination. I said, beth, if I asked you to meet me to go for a run at 3am in the morning, what would you say? She kind of goes, not so sure I would do that. I. I said, okay. I said, beth, if I asked you to meet me for a run at 3am in the morning and if you show up, I'll give you a million pounds, what would you say? She goes, oh, I'd absolutely be there. Of course I would. I said, so really many ways, procrastination is not a thing. It's just about how important it is to you. You say you want to change careers, but do you really want to change careers? Is it something that you feel like you need or have to do? If it's important enough, you'll find a way. You will find a way if it's important enough. And everything that's about, you know, in terms of motivation and why we procrastinate is when we don't change, when we're not ready or willing to take action, we're associating more pain with taking action than not taking action. Even if it's just the effort to do something and to get up and drag yourself and maybe your back hurts. And actually it's going to require a lot of time and a lot of effort, and I'm not sure if it's going to work. And it's a lot of pain compared to actually, it's less pain if I had to stay here. I don't like where I am, but it's less pain. And that's what most people in life do. And they associate more pleasure with staying where they are, even if it's not pleasurable, but it's just more pleasure staying where they are than doing all the work of changing. So when I try and help people overcome procrastination or help try and make them make that change, I've got to help them see more pain with not taking action and more pleasure with taking action. In other words, I've got to make the concept of procrastination so undeniably painful, so incredibly painful that they wish to never do it again. So how do you do that? It's actually quite straightforward. I get Beth to close her eyes. I get Beth to slow down her breathing. I get Beth to roll up her eyes towards her eyebrows whilst her eyes are closed, very simply because her eyes will start to flutter. And that's called rapid eye movement. And that's what. When we're in a state of rapid eye movement, that's what opens our subconscious mind. So now we can actually get stuff in that will land in the back of her mind. And I asked Beth some very simple questions. She's in a deep, subconscious state. I asked Beth, how's procrastination affected your relationships in the past? She goes, well, I didn't really put in enough effort. I could have done more. I think maybe people thought I was a bit lazy. Maybe it's caused a few breakups as well. I didn't put enough effort in. I said, how is procrastination? How did it affect your finances in the past? She said, well, I could have probably had a few more pay rises, a few more promotions. If I could just get myself to work harder to push myself more, to take more action, I could be in a much better position. But in the past, it's probably cost me money. I said, how has procrastination in the past affected your health? She said, well, because I feel stuck, my anxiety and stress increases. I feel more and more uncomfortable. It makes me take less and less action. I said, in the past, how has procrastination affected your social life? Said, oh, I turn up late to things or just not turn up at all, or I'd put it off and I'd not see people and I'd let people down. I said, how has procrastination in the past affected your children? She said, maybe they've not seen the best of me. I said, Feel all of that in your body. Notice where in the body you feel it. She says she feels it in her chest, she feels in her stomach. I said, just live in that feeling for a minute. She. She's squirming ever so slightly. She's feeling uncomfortable, I can tell. And I ask her the same questions about the present. How are your relationships being affected in the present by your procrastination? How's your health being affected in the present? How's your finance and your career being affected in the present? Your social life, your children, how are they being affected in the present? So she answers those same questions and she's stacking it and stacking it and stacking and she's squirming more because she's getting more and more uncomfortable. It's in the body. When you start stacking all of that past and all that present and all the const consequences of all of that, in one moment it starts to get incredibly comfortable, uncomfortable. And then we do exactly the same in the future. How's your procrastination going to affect your career and finances in the future? She said, david, I might lose my job, the job I don't even want. I might lose it and not be able to get a better one. I said, how would that affect your children in the future? She said, I don't have money for them. She said, I would be letting them down. I'd say, mum, why can't you help? I said, how would it affect your health? She said, I'd take such little action, I'd probably stop exercising. My fitness would get worse, my flexibility would get worse, therefore my mental health would be worse. I said, how would your mental health in the future being worse, how would that affect everything else? She says, I wouldn't do anything. It'd ruin all my relationships, ruin everything. So feel it all in the body. And then I get her to feel all of that stuff in the past, the present and the future all in one go. She's saying her stomach is starting to cramp, it's starting to hurt. It's starting to feel really uncomfortable because you can feel it all deeply in a subconscious state, the discomfort. And I get her to sit in it for 30 seconds, a minute, two minutes. She's finding it really uncomfortable. We start conditioning and anchoring that feeling to something very simple, like a click or a clap, just so that anytime that happens, this feeling will return. We come out of the exhale, she opens her eyes. I said, beth, do you feel like procrastinating ever again? She said, I can't. I can't procrastinate ever again. I just. I can't do that to. I can't have this life. It's been unbearable. It's affected me so badly. My future is going to be awful. So rather than it just being something she wants to give up, it's now something where she's going. I have to emotionally, not just logically emotionally have to give it up. It has to change because now the consequences she's really feeling and it's about stacking as much pain as possible. And then now there's more pain with her staying in the way that she is a procrastinator than changing. Now she's willing to start taking action because the alternative is too painful. And that is by creating enough leverage. And that is how we can overcome a habit like procrastination. If you want to learn more, visit the Self Belief Chief website for more information. We'll put a link in the description so you can schedule time with me for free as well if you want to be able to work with me on an ongoing basis to help with something like this. My name is David Holman. If you change today, today will change your life. So enjoy the rest of your day. Enjoy the rest of your life. I'll speak to you again soon.