Speaking To The Blind Blogger | Ep 141

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Per month when network is busy. See terms people seem to forget. If you change today, today will change your life. To keep up with the latest episodes, make sure you subscribe to the Self Belief Chief podcast Facebook group. Download your favourite ones and this episode is brought to you by Odd Health, the easy way to speak to a nutritionist. Take control of your health and your body with the support of Registered Nutritious Online through the Odd Health app, you can even take a free questionnaire so that they can understand more about your goals to help with your first consultation. If you want to know more on the selfbeliefchief.com podcast page underneath the episodes, you'll be able to find more information. Hello Max, thank you so much for joining. How are you? How are you coping and doing in this crazy world that we're living in at the moment?

I'm doing pretty good this morning. And how are you managing with it?

Yeah, well, no, we were talking a little bit about this beforehand, but yeah, I count myself as fortunate at the moment. I think a lot of people are struggling. I know you're in the southern part of the US at the moment, which is a sort of a hotspot for pandemic at the moment. So. But the restrictions are loosening at our end and hopefully, hopefully we can see the see ourselves coming out the other side. But who knows? I mean it's just in Covid and everything else has been a very, very, very crazy year, but it's much better to have you on the podcast and speak to people such as yourself.

So yeah, just one point about the COVID You know, for me as a blind person and for many people that I know who have disabilities, many of us have been pretty much operating as if, as if we were in the pandemic and we were in quarantine to start with because as often quite many barriers to transportation and to meeting people in person face to face, which is one of the reasons why I do podcasts and why I've been doing them since 2013.

It's interesting that you said that. I think a lot of people, you talk about disability, a lot of people talk, maybe they suffer from stress and anxiety as well. And actually a lot of people have said that they've experienced less anxiety during this time because everyone's in the same boat. Maybe some of their day to day pressures aren't there at the moment. They've got new pressures, but otherwise day to day pressures on there. So a lot of people who usually suffer from anxiety because they're fearing that what if the worst happens? Well, for a lot of people this is the worst and they're actually doing fine. I don't know about yourself, but I can sort of understand that sentiment to a certain extent. So it's interesting that you said that.

Yeah, this Corona. The last couple of weeks I've done several interviews where I've been given the opportunity to think out loud about the stresses of Corona, how they apply to everybody and then to me specifically. And you know, as I mentioned before we went on, we haven't went anywhere since March 9, but it's not like I went a whole lot of places before March 9th. And here in the US I've been talking to people who up until like last week weren't really all that concerned about their financial situation because they had this safety net from the federal government that's going to go away in a week or so because they have what they, what we call unemployment, which is basically you and your employer pay into a pool and after you're, if you let go for some reason, you get so much a week. Well, our federal government decided to supplement that for the first few months of Corona. And so I've actually talked to people who have paid down their debt, have had less concerns over their money issues up until right now because that extra money expires on the 1st of August. And of course there's lots of pressure being placed on our, on our elected leaders to extend it so that people don't have that stress. But yeah, you're right. I've talked to some people who, they have different stresses, but a lot of their anxiety has gone down because like you say, we feel like we're all in this together. That's probably even more so in other countries than the U.S. because the U.S. is more fragmented than most other countries. But yeah, there does seem to be a sense of community. What is the expression we're finding out that we can become or we can come together and be closer apart, I think, is the expression.

That's a good expression. And, you know, for people such as us to help hopefully do a small part in helping reduce people's stress or give them a bit of direction in terms of navigating all of this stuff, which is obviously very new, but using our experience to help people do that. And you obviously do that through your blog. And as the blind blogger, which I would love for people listening, if you could tell us a bit more about how, you know, you just started the blog, but maybe start right from the beginning, Max, in terms of telling people your story, because I know you're passionate about people sharing their story, I'd like to have you share yours, if that's okay.

Yeah, I'm definitely passionate about sharing my story and helping other people share theirs. The world needs every story we can get. And thankfully this, this time is actually allowing a lot of people to tell stories they couldn't or didn't before. And I like to say don't wait until you feel like your story is good enough to start sharing it, because it never will be. Me, I started off. I grew up in a family of carnival owners from Texas. My grandfather started the show in the 50s. My uncles and my dad also operated a traveling carnival. Also, I. By the time I was five years old, I knew that I was going to eventually lose my vision to RP retinitis pigmentosa. But most of my family treated me as if it was an inconvenience rather than something that would make me different or prevent me from being part of the family games or family business. So eventually graduated from a traditional high school, traditional college, achieved the rank of Eagle Scout. I'm one of the few blind eagles. Also, after college, I worked in the family business. I did the event bookings, operated kids games, set up and took down rides. I did pretty much everything except drive. And, you know, we never could figure out a way for me to do that or maybe I'd still be in the business after. After my dad passed away, we realized pretty quickly we weren't capable to keep the business going. So we joined up with my uncle's carnival and I could see that it was just a matter of time before I was not going to be in the business and needed something else to do. So I started a website called the Midway Marketplace in 2007. I didn't have the first clue what a website was or how I would build one, but people said, max, if you're going to sell anything, you really need to be online. So In September of 2007, I filed for the domain name. Like I say, not having a clue. In order to get online, I eventually had to learn how to hand code HTML and then of course, recruiting clients, setting fees, building an email list, writing ad copy, doing social media as it started to come along. Because when I started, there was no Facebook, WordPress or Wi Fi even. And lot of places people started noticing what I was doing to promote the equipment sales. And they started telling me that I was inspiring, that basically when they saw me do things, they asked themselves, if Max can do it, then what's my excuse? And I was finally convinced that my story is compelling. I started a second website as the blind Blogger to share my experiences of being an entrepreneur who happens to be blind. Also to encourage others by, you know, I share pretty openly. Pretty much everything that happens gets out on the blog sooner or later or on my podcast. What's your excuse? After I started the website, I was challenged to write a book and wrote my first book in 2014, Leading youg Out of the Darkness into the Light. A Blind man's inspirational guide to success. Just published my fourth book about my first travels as a public speaker and doing book signings. As a result of wanting to promote my businesses, I went on podcasts. I did my first radio interview in 2013 and have loved being able to share my stories all over the world without having to leave the house. I eventually was invited to do a talk for an event in Philadelphia called DreamCon. So I've been sharing my story through public speaking at national conferences and local advocacy groups. I found my voice as a singer and now sing in public. I coach people on using podcasts to promote themselves. And I host a little show called what's your excuse? And basically I just do the next thing that's in front of me. And for some reason, the rest of the world seems to find that inspiring.

Because it is Max, that's why. And I think often when it's. When you're in your own shoes, you just. I often find that there's either experience or knowledge I've built up over the years that you kind of just take that for granted that, oh, everyone knows this stuff and they don't. And similar to you, where you've got just that, the period of time that you've just covered, which is obviously a significant period of time, what you accumulated over that period is stuff that we just don't. Most people don't.

Well, the other thing that I've learned and I've. And I've. And I've accepted that I have to do this for myself on a regular basis. Is we can forget how special something was just because we don't think about it. So sometimes you really have to either make a mental list or get out a piece of paper or open a file on your. On your computer or your device, List the things that you've done in the last week, month, or year and think about how special that was to you or how difficult it was for you to accomplish that thing or things and remind yourself. And that's kind of a gratitude exercise. But it's also, you know, we generally don't start out being who we are now. We generally have to start small and work up. We have to challenge ourselves in different ways, learn the things we're capable of, and then. And then use that as a way to motivate us to try things that we're. That we're scared of or that we don't have the first clue about what we're gonna do with. So sometimes you just have to make the list of things you've done. And I find it, like, I'd say probably about once every couple of weeks, a podcast host will stop me and you'll go, max, you're an Eagle Scout. Or, Max, you learn how to code HTML or, you know, so there's things we've all done that are amazing to other people, but they've become just part of the story to us. And so a lot of times that's what it takes. It takes just going back and thinking, man, that was important. That took a lot of effort over an extended period of time. Really need to go back and think about that every so often.

Yeah, absolutely. And taking that time. And I'm someone who schedules. I actually have it, my calendar and diary to do those things because it's one less thing to think about. You just get a prompt in your calendar to do something, and you work on yourself in that capacity. So I agree in terms of writing things down, scheduling. Absolutely. You mentioned about people telling their stories, Max. What is it that makes someone good at telling their story?

Well, the one thing I've learned is the story and the storyteller get better with the telling. So the thing that I think, you know, there's a couple other things I want to mention, but the most important thing that I think makes a storyteller great is somebody who has. Has found the freedom in their own mind to tell it, to tell it often, to tell it as. As honestly as they can. I kind of get tired of using the word authentic, because it's become one of those words everybody uses. But, I mean, I coach people on sharing their stories on podcasts, and the one thing I always tell them is the way you tell your story the first time you tell it will not be anything like the way you tell it the 20th or 30th or hundredth time. And one of the great things about having done hundreds of podcast interviews is I've been asked a lot of these questions before, and I've gotten to tell some of these stories before. And in fact, when I do public speaking, people ask me, max, how do you keep your talk straight? I'm like, well, I just decide which stories I'm going to tell today, and I tell them. And that's. So it does come down to being honest with yourself and your audience, telling the story often. And of course, it doesn't matter if you're not telling it to an audience, because, I mean, yeah, it's great if I tell my story to you. It's great if I tell my story to my family, but it's even better if I can find those platforms where I could share it with even more people. And it's also even better if I share it in a way where people can continue to benefit from my story. So I don't. You know, I still don't think of myself as a really good storyteller because I grew up with some. With some great ones. My dad was one of those people that even when he died, I still couldn't tell you when he was telling the truth and when he was telling you a fib, I just. And I spent better part of 15 years going up and down the road with him, and I still never knew he was a great storyteller. In the carnival business, there's a tradition of storytelling, because when there's. When you get rained out or when there's not people on the midway, or when. When a piece of equipment breaks and you're stuck somewhere, you tell stories. And so I. I'm not really a great one. I'm getting. I get much better every time. But I think that's one of those things where I'll never know. I'll never believe I'm a great speaker, a great singer, or a great storyteller, but I find my way to just keep telling the stories. And I'm fine with the fact that quite often I tell stories people have heard me tell before. But one of the things about a great story is people don't mind hearing it again.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, no, absolutely.

Not.

And you mentioned about your father and just going most in the research beforehand, you spoke about how it possibly spurred you on to make some changes in your life. Can you talk about some of the changes that. The sort of. The new purpose, the new drive that. That unpleasant experience, what did it spare you want to do?

Right. Well, it was. It was a combination, the things. My dad passed away, we lost our carnival. We had to connect up with my uncle's carnival, and we had competed very bitterly with them for bookings over the years. So it was not something that I personally wanted to do. I like to tell people at the time, I thought, well, if we have to lose, do we have to lose to them? I mean, there are other carnivals. We could go work with somebody else. But, you know, family being family, that's what happens. So I'm not happy. I'm putting on even more weight. But I've never been a healthy person to begin with. And I finally almost got thrown. Throw. Almost got thrown out of a motel in Port Lavaca, Texas, for peeing on their linens. And that was a scary thing that required me to go to a doctor. And the doctor said, you know, Mr. Ivey, if you're not going to change the way you do things, you're not going to be around much longer. And he said, I'm not talking years, I'm talking months. So I had seen my dad pass away from cancer. I'd seen him struggle with his weight over years and years. And so I went home and found a regular primary care physician. First thing she did was notice that I probably had sleep apnea. So she had me tested. Turned out, yes, I did have it. I have a fairly severe case of it and have probably had it since I was a teenager. If I had listened to the people around me, most notably my mom, my grandmother, and some of the other women in my life, I would have been tested for it and treated for it when I was 18 or 19. And who knows where I would be now, because when you're not getting quality sleep, especially from apnea, that means you're not getting air. So it leads to fatigue, falling asleep during normal tasks, lack of interest, fuzzy thinking, poor choices, especially where it relates to food. It can cause high blood pressure, put you at a higher risk for heart attack and stroke, and cause impotence in men. So after she talked me into having the test and putting the. Using the CPAP machine, I found that I had more energy and more passion and really was at that point where I could tell the family, look If y' all want to steal carnie, y' all can carney. But I'm gonna go home and work on my website because this isn't serving me anymore. This is not healthy, me being here just because y' all think I should be here, even though I'm not making any money and y' all are having to buy my stock. That's not serving anybody's purposes. So I went home and started focusing strictly on the. On the Midway Marketplace and, you know, started putting in like 14, 16 hours a day on the website. And, you know, part of that was. Was improving the website. Part of that was finding new clients. Part of it was promoting the website and building social media communities. But I just. I had, you know, I went from something that was pretty much who I was for, you know, let's say till I was 40, to something brand new, but something that was mine and that it would either succeed or fail on my own merit and would not be tied to my family or my extended family in the carnival business, many of whom, I still wonder if they want me to be successful even now that I'm not in the business with them anymore. It's just one of those things where, you know, you have conversations with them at family gatherings and you're like, you know, I'm great with my life, but y' all still seem angry. You know, y' all still seem like there's some of this old family stuff back when there was. Back when the. A family with six kids in it own four carnivals. You know, just imagine that family dynamic where you've got that. Where pretty much the entire family is competing against each other during the year, but at Thanksgiving, Christmas and other holidays, you. You make nice like you like each other. So. But this. This, you know, the Midway marketplace, it was totally mine. There were all these new people that I was meeting online who were. Who were. Who were hoping that I would be successful and, you know, would. Would cheer me when I figured out something new on the website or when I got a new client or when I sold, you know, when I sold rides. These people that, you know, many of whom I didn't know them personally, that they really wanted me to be successful. And it wasn't like, well, it'd be nice if he sold my ride. That would be good. No, it was. It had nothing to do with. With a vested self interest on their part. It was just people that I've met online, and I like to tell people, if more people knew how supportive the online communities can be, that just about everybody would have a blog or a podcast. So my dad didn't start me on the road to getting healthy and changing my lifestyle. But seeing how he had struggled at the end of his life with cancer did make it easier for me. And then a little later on, I would be asked to at least explore having gastric surgery. I didn't want to do it because I thought a gastric surgery was quitting. It was a quick fix. It was, you know, admitting that you're a failure and you need somebody to do this for you. And I found out at the seminar that only, like, 40% of people who have a gastric procedure lose the weight and stay healthy long term. That unless you change your lifestyle, your opinion of yourself, your habits, unless you really make serious changes as part of the surgery, it doesn't work. And once I found out there was hard work involved, I was in. You know, it's like, tell me something's easy. I'm not interested. Tell me something is hard. Yeah, I could do that. So I lost over £250. At this point, I'm still very healthy. You know, the blood pressure, the cholesterol, you know, all the things that we monitor as far as whether or not somebody's healthy, I'm doing very well. And I'm. And I'm actually really impressed with where I'm at now, because I am 54 years old now, but I basically abused my body for the first 40 years of my life with food. And I'm very, very lucky that the worst thing I have to show for it now is a little. Is a little pain in my right knee. I could be a lot worse off.

I mean, the progress is fantastic. And so for. It's interesting that you spoke about the need to make it into a challenge, or it needs to be a challenge of some sort in order for you to feel compelled by it. What are the lessons that other people can take away from that story that you just mentioned?

Well, I think one of the important things is I didn't start out by having the gastric surgery. I started out by finding a doctor that I felt I could trust and communicate with and be honest about what was wrong with me. And then, you know, we started by getting my blood pressure under control. We, you know, we did several things along the way, and my doctor was smart enough to realize I'm gonna have to wait until he's ready to ask him for this, to take this next step. And when she thought I was ready, she did so. Relationships with service providers, whether that be medical or coaches, or mentors or website developers, whatever it is, open, honest relationships. Because if you can't trust them and you can't share everything that concerns you, whether it's wrong with you, then you can't make the progress. And then just about everything is going to require. Is going to require effort. That effort may not be physical effort. It may be changing the way that you think about yourself. And that's another thing that you're not going to do overnight. I still struggle a little bit. If somebody says in that latest picture, you really look sexy, you know that I sometimes still have a problem with hearing that said about myself. And it's just, it's, it's. But it is a continuous, it's been a continual progress. It was first being scared to death and then, well, what can we do about it?

And you know, it's weird one fear, isn't it? Because it can be the hindrance or the motivating for factor for different people. And to speak of emotions, I want to mentioned, I think you said at the age of five, knowing that essentially lose your sight, what you might have been too young to process this. I don't know. And to ask the question, what was it like emotionally to know that was going to be the case at that time? Or was it just. Was it just not really just too young to have an awareness?

Well, we didn't really have a conversation about it to where I'd say I was aware until I was say 11 or 12 or 12 when the vision, when the vision got well, plus at that point the vision got worse. So I went to, I became, you know, what we would call legally blind at that point. So then you have to, you have to start taking measures. And the only way you can do that is to actually have a conversation or explain it to the. To have it explained to me. So at that point, you know, I was started to. To learn how to navigate with a white cane, started to wear Braille and. But before that, you know, it was, well, y' all kids, y', all, y' all are gonna have to figure out a way so that Max can play too. And you know, so sometimes they had to change the games. One of my. On a good day, one of my favorite memory memories on a bad day. One of my worst memories was when the. Was when the elementary school teacher decided to make me the picture of the kickball team. She said, look at this way, Max. Both teams will have the same picture. The game will be fair. And that was basically because nobody wanted me on their team. You know, so, so that was, you know, that's kind of an example. You know, I was, I was very bad at any game where you had to run or chase people or find people. So. But as I got older, you know, it became more apparent that my vision was worse. I went from reading a, you know, regular print books and having a love for reading and being able to read in low light, to having to have really bright light, to having to have larger type books, to having to use a closed circuit monitor to put the screen up, the text up on the screen, to eventually audio and braille. So it was one of those things. But I grew up, I had two really big advantages. One, I grew up in a family of people who did things because in the carnival business you don't have the luxury of feeling sorry for yourself because nobody really cares what happened to you during the week or during your year. All they want to know is, are you going to be open on Thursday night? Can they ride the Ferris wheel or the twist and can they get a funnel cake or a bag of cotton candy? So, you know, you, you grow up in a family of people who do that for a living. There's not a lot of self, self pity or feeling sorry for yourself allowed in that kind of a family. And then the other thing is here in the US the school you attend and how good the teachers and the resources are, a lot of it depends on how much money the people in the district have because the schools are supported by property tax revenue. So I was lucky enough to be in a very good school where they actually had orientation and mobility instructors on their staff. They had more than one teacher who had been actually trained in, you know, special education and helping somebody losing their vision to find different sorts of ways in order to do their schoolwork. So I was lucky in both those ways. And, you know, also being in a family like I was, I was outside of school, I was kind of insulated from, from a lot of people in the world. And of course, it was a different time when the population wasn't as large here in this part of Houston as it is now. So had a lot of things going for me that made it less difficult, less traumatic than, you know, I've heard it has been for other people losing their vision. I did lose mine gradually instead of all at once. You know, I didn't lose it to an accident or an injury. So a lot of things that worked out for me to the better. And as I would enter high school, I became, as I mentioned earlier, I became part of a Scout troop here in the Houston area for boys who were visually impaired. So had a lot of great experiences through that group, especially, you know, on the weekend campouts and things like that during weeks when I wasn't out on the midway work in the carnival that on the weekend. So I think it could have been a lot harder for me and I think it is a lot harder for many people who find out. And it seems like the later in life you find it out, the harder it is. And it is a struggle. And here lately I've had a couple of opportunities to connect with people who are losing their vision now. And it's. It's really kind of scary because I don't claim to know what I'm doing, but apparently, you know, other people think that I can help them with what they're doing. So I just, I just do my best to encourage them that eventually they're going to find their own, their own way to deal with their vision loss. And of course, the worst ones are the ones who get. Who get trapped in the fear of I'm never going to be the person I was before I lost my vision. And you know, just like with, with people during Corona now, there are going to be some people who Corona jump starts their career or their passion or their hobby. They're going to do things they never did before because they have the time and the freedom from their job, and they're going to be other people who this is going to crush them. They're never going to be the same person again.

And that's the tough thing, isn't it? But one of the things I always say to people is you can't control the events, but you can control what they mean. And I think that's the best you can do, really. It's one of those things that you can control. But giving something an empowering meaning, though, however, is a difficult thing to do.

You know, I love that you just said that. I've heard that expression in other ways, but the way you just said that is, is different because I've heard it. You know, you can't control what happens. You can control what you do about it, or you can control how it affects you. But what you just said is actually more to the point, you get to decide what it means. That's really different than the way everybody else is saying that. And I'm glad I was here today to hear you say it.

Yeah. I think people are always, whether you believe in a higher power or God or life or force of some, whatever is, we always Want to try and find a reason to make sense of things. It's why death is so difficult, is because unfortunately there isn't much of a meaning when it comes to death. There are things that can. It can spur us on to do things, but finding a meaning, we don't understand it. So it's hard to find a meaning. But when it comes to the end of a relationship or most other things in life, a meaning can be found, I think, and it's if people can find a meaning. And I tell a story of someone who passed away in my life that's been struggling with it for a while. Remember going to Seville in Spain? I went to a cathedral and I looked up at the ceiling and something came to me in that moment that whatever you're going through in life, that there's beauty somewhere in the world and that it's our job to find it. And I think that's part of meaning as well, is if you can find beauty because it still does exist, that's one of the things you can guarantee that there is beauty somewhere to find a meaning for those experiences. And by the way, when I say that, it sounds like a nice saying. I'm not, certainly not here to trivialize anything that anyone's going through. To find a meaning and to genuinely feel it takes one, takes time to find two. It's hard to get to the point where you trust that meaning. But that's about, that's what you have to strive for, I guess. I guess that's what you've done.

You know, I've got a big smile on my face as I'm hearing you explain this because it is so in sync with something that a couple of things that I tell people, one is that a lot of these methods that they hear about on podcasts or from self help books, the reason they don't work is because they all take practice and effort. None of them are going to work for you day one. And some of them may not work for you for a year of day ones. But the thing that you were talking about there is something I love to try to get across to people is that there is, there's good, there's positive in every aspect of your life or there, there can be. But we have to decide it's there and we have to look for it until we find it. And so, you know, your decision that there's beauty somewhere around you, everywhere, that's, that's kind of one of the things I live my life by is that, you know, I obviously can't look out the window and see the. See the birds or the sky or whatever, but because I can't see it, I get to decide what's out my window. If I. If I want to decide that it's, you know, it's a beautiful sunny day out there, I can do that. But I like to use the example of what do you do when you've lost anything, anything else? If, if you've lost your keys, your smartphone, your TV remote, your glasses, the first thing you do is you decide that it's there somewhere. Because you already know. You know you lost it. Maybe you had it five minutes ago, but you know it's there somewhere. And so you just start. You start looking for it, and you look for it knowing that it's there. And you know that if you just make the effort, you will find it. And then sometimes, even after you've looked for a while, you might have to ask the family to come in and help you look for something. And back when we had a crazy white dog that was my mindfulness coach, sometimes we'd even ask the dog to help us look. And a lot of times, when you find that remote or those keys, the living room is a mess. You know, the cushion, sorry about the cushions are everywhere. The furniture is misarranged, you know, but you have that big smile because you found the remote. You could change the channel to that favorite show, or you found the keys so you can go outside to your car and go to that destination you were thinking about. So there's great stuff around us, whether it's a person we're going to meet either in person or online, whether it's an experience. And that could be something as simple as a new food, a new glass of wine, a new song on the radio or on your MP3 player. You know, these people, these events, experiences, they're around us, they happen every day. And we just have to keep our hearts and our minds open to finding. We have to make the effort. We have to get up in the morning and go. I don't know what the positive, great, good, beautiful things that are going to come into my life today are, but I know that they're going to happen. I just have to look for them. I have to be on the alert so that when they show up, I'm ready to enjoy them, to appreciate them, and to give thanks for them. So I hope people will go out today and find their beauty in their lives. And I think it's really should be assigned to your audience that while we use different language this is something we both agree on and we both do and have done. So. I mean, come on. I had no idea he was going to talk about this. He had no idea I was going to talk about this. But here we are, people, so hopefully y' all will get. Maybe. Maybe you can take a nap so you can wake up again and start your day over. Looking for something beautiful.

Yeah. It's something I always bear in mind in practice. Can I. Do I always get it right? Absolutely not. You know, like everyone else, you go through pain, you go through difficult moments, you go through stress, and. But to have that as some form of guiding principle, it just gives you that faith when it does get difficult and when it is hard and when you don't feel like looking for it, that at some point you should be.

Looking for it again. Yeah. And that's where. And that's where your. And that's where your community comes in. That's where your friends, your family online. Because. Because I had a horrible failure in the fall of 2018. I went off to do a three week speaking thing and I was going to Philadelphia, New York and Pittsburgh. Those are all three cities in the Northeast. I was going by train. After the first week, I got sick, but refused to just go home because I felt like I told him I was going to come, so I was going to come. And I had trouble speaking that week, so I wasn't able to sell any books or book any new clients. So I was sick. The money was running out. I was in New York City about to be homeless, and that's not a fun city to be homeless in. Not that any cities are good, but New York is especially bad for somebody from out of town and blind that doesn't have a place to go. So. But I just kept asking my community online through Facebook and Twitter, and eventually a friend from California provided me with the money for a hotel room for the night. And another friend from San Antonio provided me with the cost of the train ticket back home. And when I got home, some friends from church picked me up at the train station and brought me back to the house. They said they must have thought I was really sick because they made me wear gloves and a mask to get in their car or their truck. And they thought about for a minute making me ride in the bed of the pickup instead of in the cab, because I was. But, you know, it's just I. When I did get home, I was, you know, I was very disappointed, disgusted, felt like a failure because, you know, hey, Max, who do you think you are that you're going to go off and do this, and you should have had more money. You should have had better plans in place. But it took the better part of two months before I was at that point where I could start being Max again. And that was only because people finally said, you know, Max, it's been too much since you've written anything or done a podcast interview or so. Where are you and when are you going to stop feeling sorry for yourself and try to do this? But I was physically sick. I had. Was dehydrated to the point that my balance was off. I couldn't. It took a month before I could talk again. It took six weeks or so before I could sing again. And there were some songs I couldn't sing for another month or so after that. And I was actually scared that I had done real harm to my voice. And as a. A speaker and a podcaster, ruining your voice is, you know, that's like career suicide. So. But it just took a long time for me to feel like I was ready to put myself back out there. But it happened quicker than it would have on my own because I had people who were. Who had been following my progress, who were friends of mine, connected with me on social media, and they were like, you know, Max, you. You know that eventually you're going to get over this, but this is taking way too long. You know, this is. This is not how you usually do things. And eventually I decided, well, you know, Max, how many other people would have a network where they would have people that would, you know, just for somebody they pretty much don't know from. From Adam and spend several hundred dollars each on them to make sure that he gets back to his house? You know, the power of community and the people that have decided to be part of my story over the years, that was one of those first early things of beauty that, you know, helped me to start sending out emails again and start saying, you know, hey, I guess you have me at your event again. But the one thing I did do is I stopped agreeing to go to events where they weren't going to at least pay my living and travel expenses. So I approved a little. But, you know, like you said, there are going to be times you get knocked down really hard, and it's going to take a while before you. You start finding the beauty and things again. But there, again, it really helps if you have some people in your life. Those at least four or five people that you know are going to tell you the truth, even when you don't want to hear it. Who will challenge you to start finding the beauty again?

Those people are really important. Really, really important. And I have people all the time. My clients will say to me, oh, I help everyone else, but I can't help myself. And I'll say, david, you know, you spend all your time working with all these different clients. How do you then manage yourself? Well, you have to schedule that in to manage yourself. But also, you have to have the right people around you. You have to. And even if you want, you know, even if you could do it all by yourself, do you really want to? I don't. I don't want to do it all by myself. I'd rather do it with other people. So I want to. I want to. Of all the things that you do, you've got the what's your excuse? Show. When I read that title, I wanted to ask if you've ever heard an excuse where you thought that's actually quite a good excuse. I don't suppose you have. I don't suppose that does come up. But is.

No, no, actually, I've got a good. Actually, I've got a good story for you on that. It has to do with me personally, actually. Okay. Because, you know, I generally agree that, you know, occasionally there will be a good excuse. I haven't heard one in a while, but I was giving one for myself for a while. You know, I have the podcast I started in 2015 with the help of a co host from Canada, because I felt like if I had somebody to handle the tech, where all I had to do was show up and talk, I could actually have a podcast. And so when he stopped doing the tech side, I had to do it on my own. And I had a lot of trouble with uploading the audio and getting the audio out into the world. And so it was frustrating me. It was taking my joy of doing the podcast away from me. And I finally decided, well, Max, who says you have to release your podcast in audio? I was recording in Zoom, where you. I was recording the video anyway. And so I decided, you know, there's nothing says that I have to do audio if I don't want to do audio. So for about two years, I only posted the video. And I said, well, you know, Max, you've got a great excuse. You're blind. This stuff ain't easy. But last summer, I went to a conference in Kansas called In Level, called Level up, put on by a group called Envisions, that is a organization that trains the visually impaired for work and also Provides work, provides work for them in their manufacturing. And I was there to teach them things like elevator pitches, job interview skills, grooming, tying ties, things like that. And while I'm there, I'm looking at some of the things or listening to some of the things these people are investigating as possible careers for themselves. They're studying about aerospace and aviation. They're studying about electrical engineering, culinary arts, music production, not just performing music. And at the end of the week there, so many of those of the men told me how the fact that I had helped them with tying a tie was something that would give them confidence in their interviews and how I changed their lives and the way home. I'm thinking, you know, Max, if these high school kids, you know, they're, they're wanting to do things you would have never thought of and neither would any of your teachers ever thought of when you were in High School 30 years or so ago. If these kids can see these kinds of dreams for themselves, there has to be a way for you to put your podcast out on Apple and Stitcher again. And you really need to, you know, just stop making excuses for yourself and go. And go do it. So I connected with people I know have podcasts, and we came to the conclusion that Blubbery would be the most accessible audio platform for me to get. My podcast. I relaunched on July 1. It's been a little over a year since people can now listen to it as well as watch it, because I probably recorded at least 50 interviews that most people have never heard unless they're one of my, you know, hundred or so YouTube subscribers. And eventually I've got to get these past interviews that I've recorded that people haven't heard out onto the podcast platform. But it seems like every week I'm talking to new people and recording new interviews. But yeah, there are legitimate excuses. And a lot of it, a lot of it comes down to timing. You know, we're not always ready to do something at a particular point in our, in our lives. So if somebody's making a short term excuse or giving a reason for a month or six months or a year, that they're not ready to do something, then I think that's perfectly okay. The problem comes when a year later or two years later or three years later, you still haven't done it and you're still using the same excuse and you haven't taken any action to overcome the excuse. You know, if you're not, if you're not trying to find some way, some. Some way to solve that problem, Then you're allowing the excuse to hold you back and to keep you stuck where you are. And, you know, I like to say that it comes down to making a decision. You can decide to find solutions, or you can decide to keep making excuses. And a lot of times it just comes down to getting to that point in your life where you're like, I'm tired of this excuse. I don't want to live with this particular excuse anymore. And not everybody always gets to that point. There are some people who, you know, been saying for five or 10 years they're going to start a podcast or they're going to write a book. They haven't done it. And there's probably still using the same excuses. You know, one of the most common excuses we all hear is I'm not good enough, or my website isn't good enough, or my podcast isn't good enough, or even just the equipment I use to record my podcast isn't good enough. So I say that an excuse isn't necessarily a bad thing. The question is, how long have you had the excuse? What have you done to overcome the excuse? If you're not capable of overcoming the excuse by yourself, who have you asked to help you overcome that excuse? What education have you done for yourself? Either self learning or reaching out to a coach or a mentor? Because, you know, if you're actually doing something to get rid of that excuse, then that's fine. The problem comes when you stay with these kids. I used to have a really good friend who sold novelties on our midway. He say, max, there's nothing wrong with being dirty, but there's all sorts of things wrong with staying dirty.

Yeah, I like that.

There's nothing wrong with a temporary excuse, but there's all sorts of things wrong with an excuse that persists for your entire life. Hmm.

One of the things I've never understood is a lot of people will complain that life is unfair and life isn't fair isn't. And having an expectation that it should be can cause its own pain and pressure. One of the things to understand, though, is, say a lot of people say life is unfair. So therefore, if life can be unfair, the natural answer to that is we have to take decisive, massive action in order to control the future that we want. But people go, life is unfair. And they go, well, what's, what's the point of me doing anything? I won't bother doing anything. Well, if we don't do anything, then who are we giving the autonomy to? We're giving the autonomy to life the same life that we say is unfair. So it doesn't work for me. Logically, it's never worked that if we believe life is unfair, then why would we kind of give up control and just see what life does for us? Because you don't. Is a guiding principle for you that you don't think is fair. So I've never really understood why people are so resistant taking action. I understand that probably myself, like yourself and many other people in this sort of, I guess, self help space probably have a level of drive that not everyone else has. I understand that might be part of the case. Some people have more drive than myself, some people have less. I've never really understood that. And so when. What do you think is the number one thing? I've got my own opinion. But what's the number one thing that gets someone to take action?

Well, part of it. Let's start with the part where people don't take action. I think most of us will agree that it's a combination of two things. One, it's comfort. No matter how difficult their life is right now, it's familiar and comfortable. And the second thing is fear. They're afraid that by taking action things could actually be worse than they already are. And for me, I use the example of whatever program I'm watching on the television. I may not like the program that's on the channel now, but with a hundred and some odd channels I may. With a hundred and some odd channels, if I start looking, I may find something worse or I may not be able to make it back to the. I may not be able to make it back the channel I was already on. So a lot of times it is, it is, it is comfort and it's fear of things getting worse than where you're at right this minute. That's a lot of it. I mean, a pair of shoes that hurts your feet, you know, they're your shoes, they're familiar and you've already broken them in. And the chances that the next pair of shoes will be more comfortable or could possibly be even less comfortable is part of our problem. But as far as taking the action, I think it comes down to the pain. When it gets to the point that not doing something hurts you more than taking action or then taking action scares you, then you'll usually do something about it. You know, if for me it always comes down to decision which, which would bother me more, deciding to do something I'm maybe not ready for and having a failure, a setback or not doing anything at all. And Missing the experience. So to me it comes down to which, which, which do I, which do I hate more? The possibility of failure or the possibility of missing out on a great experience. And for me, I usually will decide on just going ahead and doing it, which is why I end up sometimes in situations where there's a level of difficulty for me to get out of those situations. Or as my editor Lorraine regularly likes to say, you know, Max, you get yourself into more shit than any one person I know of, but you always manage to come out of it smelling like a rose and with a really good story to tell because I will. You know, I've. When I, when I went to New York my first time, I had $400 in my pocket. I was going to be there two weeks. The smart person would have stayed there but home. But I felt like if I went, something would happen. I would either find ways to enjoy the city for next to no money or other money would show up while I was there. And both happened in the first week I found things to do that didn't cost me any money. And the second week money showed up and I did some other stuff that cost me quite a bit more money as a tourist. So it comes down to which bothers you more, looking silly or missing out. And for a lot of people, it really does have to get to the point of pain, to the point where they are going to pass on an experience that's on their bucket list, let's say, something they really want to do badly that they're not ready for, or something they really want to avoid badly, but to do that would require them to do things they're not ready for. And they get to that point where one thing becomes more painful than the other, where inaction is more painful than or is not as scary as what might happen if they fail.

Yeah, I agree. I think a lot of things are about pain, pleasure, balance, aren't they? And, and what you associate pain to and what you associate pleasure to. So totally agree with that. And as we move towards the end of this conversation and I want to make sure that people know where they can get your get your new book as well, which we haven't spent much time talking about, you humbly haven't mentioned.

But I know you've got your book out. Yeah, well, you know, you know, me and you, we talked about this. We see these as conversations or chats rather than interviews. And so, and you know, when you're having a chat with your neighbor or your. Or your mate at the pub, you generally don't talk about, hey, I got a new book out. But you know, people, people can find me@theblindblogger.net they can search for the Blind blogger on Amazon to get any of my books, including my latest one, which is the Blind Bloggers First Speaking and Signing Adventures. It's about how I went on a very exciting six week trip in 2017 to promote myself as a writer by doing my very first book signings of Public Speaking. I talk about how the trip came about. It actually started by being interviewed on a podcast and having the podcast host invite me to come to his event. And once he invited me and the word got out, I was actually leaving my house. Other opportunities showed up, other people volunteered, but I talk about things like missed trains, canceled events, lack of money, also facing the fears, not only the fears of my, of my own, because while I face fear very well, people think I'm never scared. I still have to do that whenever I head out my front door. And then also I have to face the fears of my family and the fears of some people in my online community because there are some people out there in the world who are going to go, max, you sure you don't want to take somebody with you? And, well, who wants to go? Nobody ever wants to go when I want to go. So it comes down to do I want to stay home or just want to go ahead and go out there by myself. So I go by myself. And I did, you know, I did public speaking, book signings. But I also talk about great experiences like the fact that one of the canceled events led to my getting to spend some time with family I hadn't seen in 30 years. You know, talk about how my health almost impacted my trip and how important caring for our bodies, especially our feet, is. So it's a, it's, it combines a. My usual brutal honesty with myself and with the experiences that I had, my wide eyed, childlike approach to the world and experiences. And it also includes a lot of key takeaways and important lessons for people that are thinking about going on an adventure. And I know we're Corona, so we're all pretty much stuck at home now, but to me, an adventure and experience, it can happen in your home, in your backyard, across town, halfway around the world. It can happen online if you're willing to let it happen because some of my greatest friendships were made during podcast interviews. And they can find the book@theblindwater.net on the, on the, on the blind blogger.net store and they can Also find me on Amazon. One of the great things about, about allowing people to call me the blind blogger, or accepting the name the blind blogger six years ago is now if people look for the blind blogger, they find me everywhere. So I'm very happy, very happy I didn't fight that harder than I did and allowed, you know, people to hang that moniker on me. And, you know, I also available for public speaking. And that's of course, virtually right now is everybody's doing it. So, you know, if you have a club, an organization, a company, you need a little motivational storytelling. Get ahold of me theblindblogger.net or just askattheblindblogger.net because I want to help people. I want to help people share their stories on podcasts and radio shows. I want to teach people how to use these platforms to make the kind of connections that me and you have or that I have with other people. I want to free people to have the. To have the ability to ask for help and ask for opportunities in their own lives. I want to help you. And if it's something I've done and have experience with and it's something that other people are struggling with, I just want to connect with these people and see if I can help them and worry about whether or not I get paid afterwards. And quite often I meet people and I can introduce them to somebody that can answer their question. And that's one of my favorite things to do, is to make connections, to make introductions and basically just see where they lead. Because in my life online, I've been online for 13 years now, I wouldn't be anywhere near as far as I am now if it weren't for the help and support of many friends and strangers that have come along on the way. Sometimes I openly asked for the help. Sometimes they just saw that I was struggling and showed up and offered their help. Sometimes I've paid for it, but many times it's been for free or for less than they would usually charge or on installment plans when they didn't usually do installments. So without the people out there, I wouldn't be where I'm at now. So I do my best to help as many people as I can. You know, of course, we have to sustain ourselves. We have to make a living. And so you have to think about that some of the time. But to me, I just enjoy meeting people, having conversations, and seeing where that goes. If I can help them find, if I can't help them find, we may still be friends and Someday, when we're allowed to travel again, they may find me in their hometown having a coffee or a latte or beer or a margarita or whatever.

Beautiful. And so that leads me on to the final thing I wanted to ask you, which was very keen to ask you, which is talk to us about from the moment you decided that you thought, you know what? I use a phrase, which is get out of your head and help someone instead. And in that spirit, which is you made a decision at some point talking about defining what something means to help other people, to contribute to other people. And at that point, you would have had a vision of what you would have liked to do, the footprint that you would like to leave. The question I want to ask Max is, what did that footprint look like? Have you surpassed that footprint? And what is it? What's the footprint you'd like to leave people now?

Well, this is a hard question for me to answer because I think that I've had two of those moments, because when I originally started, my goal in 2007 was to help people sell their surplus amusement rides so that they could purchase newer equipment or so that they could retire from the business. And my goal was to help those people do that in an ethical way that would allow me to build a business and support my family. That was my initial goal. And for years I told people, hey, I'm not anything special. I'm just a guy who shows up and works his butt off every day, build the business to help his family. That's all I'm doing. And, you know, I've been very blessed to help quite a few people in the amusement industry. And after I did that for four or five years and people started suggesting the blind blogger, my initial thought was, well, everybody talks about, if Mike's can do it, then what's my excuse? Then I would probably be ideal to coach people on getting unstuck and going after their. Their big goals and dreams. My plan was to help people accomplish their goals. Unfortunately, that wasn't what people wanted me to do. I had a couple. I've had a few exploratory calls. I've helped a few people informally because I like helping people. But it turned out the thing that they all wanted me to do was to help them connect with podcasts and other opportunities to share their story. So it went from, okay, Max, you're going to be a coach, to you're going to be a service provider, a consult, somebody who helps people understand the power of their stories, teaches them to tell them more effectively, and teaches them to use their stories so they can grow their passion, their business, their brand, however they see themselves. It could be even just they want to grow their. The reach of their use of their hobbies so they can help other people in the same hobby. So my thought then was, max, I want to help people share their stories with the world so that they can grow as a person, they can grow a business, and that they can also help people in the world. Because every time I tell my story, that's great, but every time somebody I'm connected with tells their story, that's even better. So that's where I thought I was going. And that's the one thing I do that is the most sustainable financially, that provides me the income for my writing, traveling, and speaking habits. And I call them habits because half the time I'm not, you know, you don't. I'm not at the point yet where I'm making lots of money off of those, but I'm fine with that because I'm very satisfied with the work. And so, you know, going from helping people get on podcasts to doing my own podcast to public speaking, it's all been about helping others understand that they are capable of more and helping them get unstuck and doing it in a informal, implied, as opposed to a direct coaching situation where, you know, you work with one person or a group of people. And so my vision of myself now is that I just want to continue to share my experiences, to help other people share their stories and experiences, to inspire and motivate as many people as I can in the world while providing myself a reliable, sustainable income that allows me to continue doing this, because that's one of the hard lessons to learn when you're in this kind of a business is you have to sustain yourself emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually. If you're not sustaining yourself, you can't continue to help other people. So I really love helping other people. I love having conversations, finding out that hidden thing about somebody that would make them even more empowering to the people around them and the people in the world. I love finding hidden goals that people have that they're scared to talk about, or getting them to talk about parts of their history, their story that they've never talked about to anybody else, and having them realize, hey, this is hard for me to tell people, but this is the kind of thing that when I tell them, you know, that it will really, really change lives. You know, I mentioned my editor Lorraine regularly earlier. I was part of helping her understand that sharing the story of being raped as a teen and as a virgin, and that going and going into drug use and prostitution, that. That wouldn't make her less of a person in the eyes of people. It would make her more of a person in the eyes of people following her story. So those are the kind of things I like to do to help other people understand the power of the story. Because if it wasn't for a woman named Adrienne Smith, who I like to call my blogging mama, I'd still be doing nothing but selling carnival rides because she was the person who did the most to help me understand the whole package of my story, of how I have a built in excuse and don't use it. Other people don't have excuses and still find reasons not to go after the things that they're passionate about. So I would say at this point, I'm probably on my third or fourth idea of what my future is, but it's. It's basically helping others understand their story, embrace their story, and tell their story.

Fantastic. And with that, Max, I want to thank you very much for joining me.

Well, I want to thank you very much for having me. I understand as a podcaster especially that you're putting a lot of time and effort and a fair bit of money into doing this, and without people like you, I wouldn't have the platforms that have given me the opportunity to share my story and encourage other people. So without you and people like you, there wouldn't be other blind blogger or what's your excuse? So thank you.

You're welcome.