The 1 Thing More Important Than Love & Happiness | Ep 124

People seem to forget if you change today, today will change your life. If you're enjoying the Self Belief Chief podcast and you're looking for a online coaching partner, make sure to check out Self Belief Chief vip. It covers the five key areas. Performance, relationships, health, finance and career and spirituality to really create a transformation for you in your life. You can visit it and find out more information at. Self Belief if you're on the Self Belief Chief website listening to this podcast, he'll be underneath the episodes or on whatever medium or platform you're listening to this podcast. There will be a link in the description, but just visit selfbeliefchief.com VIP to access your online coaching partner with hours and hours and hours of content that's consistently being added to. So hopefully I'll see you there very soon, but otherwise let's get on with the podcast. I often get asked what's the most important thing in life? Love, happiness, fulfillment. Lots of different words that people use. What's the most important thing? A lot of people listening will think it's love to be happy. Some people talk about being content. So so many different options. But I want to give my opinion on this because it's backed up by a lot of the reading and research that I do. But I think makes a huge difference. The quality but also the consistency of your life. Because that's the thing, isn't it? You might have moments where you are happy, but is it consistent? You might have moments where you are content, but is it consistent? You might have moments where you feel love, but is it consistent? I know for anyone that I speak with, they want change, they want results, but something they never mention. But I know they do want more than any of that is they want all of that to be permanent, they want it to last, they want it to be consistent, they want it to stick around. I think that's incredibly important. Now there's a lot of stuff out there and I'll tell you what. Most people, how most people live their life, possibly including yourself. Most people live in a particular centric type life and what I mean by that is some people live a work centric life, their life revolves around their work. Some people live a family centric life, life revolves around their family. Some people it's a relationship centric life. Some people it's a self centered life. Some people it's a money centric life and so on and so forth. And there are so many categories out there and you might have a think whilst listening. What category am I in? You know what Category. Am I actually in here? What is the predominant focus of my life? Now, there's nothing inherently wrong with whatever your answer option is, except for, of course, they're all external things. They're things that provide, you know, a sense of feel good, but it's not an internal source. And if we're not in control, then how can we ever find consistency in how we feel? What I find from my experience is that there's only one type of life or way of living that really works consistently, and it's what you'd call a value centric life. A value centric life. What's a value centric life? A value centric life is where you live by a set of your own values. You don't live based off your family or your work or this or that. You live off your own values and you make decisions from those values and you make sure that you hold your standards of those values. Now, you might have heard me talk on previous podcast episodes about values, but living a value centric life is really important. It doesn't mean you put the other things to the side. It just means that you make decisions from a place where it meets those values that you have. Now, what your values are are totally down to you. Here's the thing, though. If I asked you, what are your top five values, would you know? Would you know what your top five values are right now? I'm guessing you wouldn't just be able to read them off straight away. You'd think, I'm not sure, really. Well, that's a bit of a problem, surely, isn't it? We don't know what our values are. So what would happen is we would be sat down together and we work them out. Eventually you'd write down five. You go, you know what? This is how I lived the last 10, 20, 30 years of my life, through these five values. And then we ask the question, okay, what order do they have to be in? Or what changes do we have to make to your values for you to be happier? Here's the thing. With all the experience I have, not one person has ever said, no, those values are in the right order. 100% of people always make a change. They move the order, it takes them out, they put some new ones in, and at least they can better hit the target of what made them happy. Now, what are values? Values could be anything. Values can be family, it can be love. Values can be honesty, they can be loyalty, they can be passion, they can be health, they can be humor, they can be certainty, they can Be security. They can be, you know, what else could they be? Contribution. And so on and so forth. On a plane, when the oxygen masks come down, they tell you to put yours on first before helping everyone else. We don't know how to take care of ourselves. That is what our values are. How can we take care of anyone else? So if you want to provide more value, if you want to contribute more to other people, you best know your own values. Because otherwise you're going to run out of oxygen because you haven't taken care of yourself as well as you could do. The better you take care of yourself, the better you meet those values and live by those values, the more energy you have to give everyone else, that means even more value you give everyone else. Wouldn't that be something? Wouldn't that be special? That'd be an incredible thing. And so living by a set of values is incredibly important. And I'm going to show you, I'm going to tell you a story that really outlines the importance of this. My dad, when he was working, he met a guy in another country. Never met him before. And my dad found him a really interesting person. Very much knew who he was. Very much calm and controlled and confident, seemed very at peace. My dad said, what is, what is it about you that allows you to be that way? And he said to my dad, you know, I actually found out a while back that part of my heritage, or my great grandfather or my grandfather, whichever one it was, was a Nazi. And he said, it broke me because it basically corrupted my identity, corrupted everything that I came from. I was, you know, being a family centric person that actually it shifted my whole identity to something I obviously didn't want it to be. And he said, but the way out of it was to live by a set of my own values. And he created his own values. He created a value system to live by those values so he could be at peace with himself because his family might have had ties to Nazis, but he certainly didn't. But creating a set of values allows you to shift your identity. And the thing is, you want to have happiness, love, confidence, whatever it might be. It's not just a thought or feeling. You have to shift your identity. You have to identify as a person that has those things, that gets to experience those things, that deserves those things. You have to shift the identity with that. Shift of identity changes everything. Rather than being someone who walks around going, I don't get. I never get these things. I can't have these things. Or somebody walks around going, when is my life when I'm going to find some consistency into some peace more often because I just want to feel calm and more relaxed and bit more content more often. Rather than just all these things around me affecting me all the time. They're affecting you because you're basing everything about you on those things. You base them on your own values. It doesn't really matter what the rest of the world is doing. Actually, when you live by your own set of values, the rest of the world kind of helps you along. That's a fairly nice thing. If you change today, today will change your life. So enjoy the rest of your day. Enjoy the rest of your life and I'll speak to you on the next episode.

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