The 6 sources of self-belief | Ep 52 | Ask Self-Belief Chief | #selfbeliefchief

1, 2, 3. And we are live. Welcome to episode 52 of the Ask Yourself Belief Sheet podcast. This is the podcast where people streaming from Instagram Live and whatever questions they've got going on, whatever's going on in your life, holding you back, you know, even a story of how you succeeding or doing well or whatever it is, then just let us, you know, let us know in the comments box below and we'll get round to all of your questions, all your comments. I'm obsessed with self belief. I'm obsessed with the concept of self belief because I really, really struggled with it. And you know, what I want to do is talk a little bit about my story and my relationship with self belief or the lack of it and actually how I've developed it and got myself in the position that I'm in now to train to coach people from all different backgrounds, industries all around the world, connecting with these people and developing, you know, really great relationships with some people who have managed to help and push through their particular boundaries. You know, in life it can be a bit of a struggle, can't it? So I want to, I want to help you push through that, those boundaries. Now I'm going to give you something which is a system I use a system I use to help anyone understand why they do or don't have self belief in a particular area of their life. So it's called the six sources of self belief. And what I found was through loads of research and understanding of self belief that self belief can be described or explained in terms of whether you have it or not by six things. And it's only six things that you need to have self belief. I did research based on neuro, linguistic programming, game theory, psychology, sports psychology, the different fields, counseling therapy. I wanted to find all the stuff, anything to do that was related to the concept of self belief and understand and put a really, really simple process in place for people so that they can make the change. I don't have the answers for you but I'm going to help you make the change. So before we get on to that I want to talk a little bit about my story with self belief. So I, in essence the main things for me were I, I had a career as a footballer growing up, you know, from the age of about 10, maybe, you know, 12, 13 years, 12, 13 years as a footballer but just constant injuries, constantly underperforming and just complete lack of self belief to deliver when it really mattered most. Just want to say hello to the first few people have joined. So we've Got Anna, we've got Safi as well. So. Hello. So you've got any questions, leave them in the comments box down below in on Instagram. So as an athlete was a real struggle, you know, to perform in front of an audience, in front of a crowd. And you'll be able to understand that, you know, whether you work in corporate, business or finance or you are an athlete or you're a student or whatever, to perform under that kind of pressure in front of people is a real, real challenge, is a real, really real struggle and we're going to be able to tackle in some way now. What didn't help me was something that, you know, I experienced at school in terms of bullying. I'm part Christian, part Jewish, and some of the things that people would say about me being Jewish were really, really difficult to hear. I'll give you one quick example of a boy who. Well, I was at the center of a group called the Hexagon of Death, which sounds cool, but it wasn't that cool. It was six boys who took upon themselves to score points on how much mental, physical and verbal abuse they could inflict on me. So being part Christian, part Jewish, you know, racism, that would score 10 points being hit, that would score five points. At the end of the year, they tally up the points and they pick a winner. So I had to these boys and one day I was playing football on a gravel tennis court right at school, play football on a gravel tennis court. And all of a sudden smoke starts to descend across the court. And one of these boys goes to me, david, can you smell that burning? I went, yeah, yeah, I can smell the burning. And I saw the smoke coming out from a chimney from a house across the road. I pointed the house and said, I think it's coming from there. The boy said, yeah, I think you're right. He said, david, why don't you go and knock on that door, see if they let you in? I said, what do you mean? Why would they let me in? He said, they're burning all the Jews in there. Now, obviously, you know, I dealt with it, I handled it, but that was the sort of thing I would experience growing up. And it wasn't particularly nice, especially more so when I came to realize later in life that I actually had relatives in the family who unfortunately lost their lives in the Holocaust. So, you know, not pleasant. And between that and, you know, football career that was going nowhere, I was really, really, really struggling for self belief. So I had to learn and develop and understand, you know, how I could help myself. And in turn that led me to help other people. So I said, I'll talk about the six sources of self belief and these are the six things. If you want self belief in any area of your life, these are the six things you need to address. Firstly, clarity. The clearer you are of what you want, the closer it comes to you. The. The second one is focus. Whatever you focus on, you feel. So if you focus on the good stuff in your life, guess how you're gonna feel. If you focus on the bad stuff in your life, guess how you're gonna feel. The third one is pain, the ability to turn pain into power. If you know how to deal with a disappointment before it happens, it gives you great confidence. And also you're less fearful, less anxious of the consequences of something happening because you know how to deal with it. The fourth source is energy. Everyone needs energy. Changing the blood flow changes the biochemistry and you know, changes how we think and feel. So energy and that can come from anything. It can be how you move your body, what you listen to, what you watch, whatever. The fifth thing is momentum. Okay? So everyone worries about not having momentum. We have momentum developing our entire lives, we just don't recognize it. I define momentum as how we add up the moments in our life. How we add up the moments in our life. The sixth source is growth. We've always got to have another level to go to, to strive towards, to look forward to. So those are the six sources of self belief. If you are struggling with self belief in any area of your life is because you're missing one of those six things. Clarity, focus, pain is power, energy, momentum, or growth. When you have confidence, you'll be hitting all of those six things at a very high level, I promise you that. So that's the six sources of self belief and that's how to tackle any issues to do with self belief. So before I continue on this road, I just want to address some of the questions I've been asked today or got on Instagram live as well. So first question, what have we got? Let's have a look through. First question, I lack self belief. When I feel like it's a big moment, what do I do? So when it's a big moment and you know, we can pretend it's not a big moment, or we could try and downplay the moment, but you know, it's an emotional thing. A big moment is a big moment for you. It might not be a big moment for someone else. Fine. How do you deal with the big moment? When it comes how can you be confident? Well, I told you those six sources of self belief. But when it comes to a big moment, that will likely be anxiety and pressure. And fear is physical, fear is physical. So my main thing would be energy. How can we change and move the body in a particular way that is more in line with being confident and feeling strong and feeling controlled and calm, rather than what we do with our body when we're fearful and when we're anxious? Okay, so we can change our posture. So think of how a confident person stands or in fact think of a moment in your life where you've been confident and what do you do with your body? How do you hold yourself? How do you know? Keep yourself composed, what do you do? You know? So that's what I would suggest in terms of big moments is actually just change your body beforehand because when you feel anxious, you feel like it's big moment, your shoulders will curl over, your head will go down and you, you'll start to worry and be concerned. Stand up straight, chest up, look up, smile, be light on your feet and you'll be in a good place. So thank you very much for the question. If you have any more questions, leave them in the comments box on Instagram below here. I'm just going to scroll through and see what else I have between the different platforms. Let's have a look what questions we got now. Okay. Any questions on self belief in particular. Have a look. Next question. I want self belief to do the thing I want to do, which my parents telling me not to do. How can I be more confident in what I do so that I can show my parents that I'm good at it and can do it? Okay. So thank you for your question. I think I got it. So this is a common thing I get is that, you know, depending on. It's quite a cultural thing as well. In terms of parents saying you need to go down this particular line. If there's something you want to do, just say to them and always start with this because this is for any parents, this is the weak spot. You start with I love you. And if you start with that, that wall will come down, that sort of tension or whatever will come down, say, I love you, I appreciate everything you've done for me. There's something I want to do and I want to dedicate 18 months to it. 18 months trying to commit. And if I, if I can't build the leads or contacts or I can't show any sort of development, then, you know, I will go back to doing what you want to do. So just frame it, right? Just show them that you appreciate what they've done for you. You have all the rest of your life to do something that maybe they want you to do, but just be confident and just spend a finite period doing what you want to do. So hello to a few more people have joined. So we've got Kavuk, Miss Cutie Pie, Beth. Hello, all of you joining. Next question from Anak. Can you tell me some body language hints on how to tell someone is lying? Are you playing poker at some point? I'm not trying to use this for. I don't have a superpower or trying to manipulate people with it. I'll give it a go. You know, body language tips in terms of people lying. Interesting. There's a few things which some studies have proven or, and then other studies have disproven, but there's a few things. One of them is if you're talking to someone, if they look off to their left, up and to their left, usually lying, I would say just a general lack of eye contact when you're asking the question. If they can look you in the eye, then it's a sort of a signal that they're, you know, confident in what they're saying and they're trusting in what they're saying. If they look away, it's. They're trying to come up with a story or concept. Other things that might do is they, they shift their body away. So if they're standing straight to you, everything is pointed to you. Usually their person is feeling quite confident and quite honest. If they start to turn their body so slightly, then, you know, it suggests that maybe they're less comfortable with what they're saying and that could hint towards some lying. But that's not the sort of question I'm looking for, but thank you. It was an interesting one nonetheless. And by all means, hopefully you're on a. Maybe you're on a poker table and that's going to help you make a load of money. I don't know. Hello, Zara, who's just joined as well. I think what we'll do is we will wrap up the podcast, take those tips on board those six sources of self belief. I want to leave a question for you today which is by all means, you can DM me on Instagram, you can leave me an email@self beliefchiefmail.com or you can just message me on my website or wherever else, Facebook, blah, blah, blah. LinkedIn. Question for you today is what do you do when you lack self belief do you find you crumble? Do you find you rise to the occasion? Because you can work it out? What do you do when you lack self belief? So email me at self belief self belief chief gmail.com or my website@self belief chief.com you can DM me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, wherever and or you can connect with me on LinkedIn. But otherwise, thank you all for joining. Thank you for your questions. My name is David Holman. If you change today, today will change your life. So enjoy the rest of your day, enjoy the rest of your life, wherever you are, and I'll see you on episode 53.