Why You Are Stuck | Ep 112

People seem to forget. If you change today, today will change your life. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you very much. First question. How many of you have experienced doubt, stress or fear in your life? If you experience one of those, put your hand up. Doubt, stress or fear, keep your hand up. If you're experiencing all three of them. Right now, just me. Okay, Excellent. I want you to turn to the person on your left and your right, shake their hand and say, if you change today, today will change your life. If you change today, today will change your life. Left and right. Do that now. Do that now. Too much, too much, too much. Right, next thing I want you to do is I want you to put your hands out in front of you like this. Everyone put their hands out in front of you. Okay? And all you've got to do is follow me. So if I do something, my right hand, you do it with your right hand. If I do it my left hand, you do it with your left hand. Does everyone know their right and left? Because I do this a lot and people get this wrong. Some firm no's. Okay, this is your right hand. Lift your right hand up. This is your left hand. Lift your left hand up. So after three, just follow me. Ready? One, two, three, go. Don't miss a step. Do not miss a step. Pay attention, pay attention. Good. Right, turn your hands over like that. Clasp your fingers together and make sure that your right thumb is under your left thumb. That your right thumb is under your left thumb. Right thumb is under your left thumb. Excellent. Okay, now do this with your fingers. Do this with your fingers. Some people are so confused. Keep going, just keep. This is about self belief. Just keep going. Do this with your fingers. And finally do this with your thumbs. Now if you've really been paying attention and there is a reason why we're doing this, you should be able to do this. Anyone got it? Anyone got it? Not one person. Right. Firstly, I'm going to need you to pay way more attention because that was rubbish. The second thing is this. Let's call this position the end goal. The objective, the thing that you want, the way you want to feel. And the rest of this is your self belief. It's up, down, here, there, everywhere. If you don't know how to control it, it's very difficult to get to that, that place. In fact, none of you did just then. I want you to make the sound, a sound for me. Not just any sound. I've got a sound in mind. I want you to make a sound for me. When you're going through something difficult and someone simply says to you, just believe in yourself. Okay? After three, the sound when someone goes, just believe in yourself. One, two, three. Exactly. Exactly. Because it has no meaning, does it? What the hell does that mean? It has no meaning, it has no weight, it has no substance. And in fact, I believe phrases like that have caused a bit of a problem. I have a question for you. There's a study done recently on mental well being in the workplace. How much do you think poor mental well being in the workplace is costing the UK economy per year? How much do you think poor mental well being in the workplace is costing the UK economy per year? Someone shout an answer, any answer, shout it out. Per year. So there was a study done by Paul Farmer recently. That's unacceptable. That's crazy. That is. And how have we got to this point? And what it shows is that do individuals, businesses, organizations, do we really know how to keep our momentum up each day? How for colleagues to keep their state, improve their state every single day so that we're not going towards some sort of negative spiral towards what we might regard as mental health issues? So what I want to talk about is some really simple strategies that will help you maintain your state each day. And we deal with the problem at the root at the start, so we don't have to deal with anything else for three reasons. One, because if we can start dealing with it at the base, at the root cause, we can cut into this 99 billion, that's one thing. As a second thing, as colleagues, if you're enjoying your business, you'll be advocates for your company. And as a third thing, we just want to be happy, don't we? When we're confident, when we're happy, when we're feeling good, things are just better, aren't they? So that's what this is about. So the mission today is how can we generate maximum self belief with minimum time and effort? If I can give you strategies which require this much effort and give you this much reward, you're more likely to adopt them, aren't you? If it doesn't take any effort, but it increases your self belief significantly. And not only that, I want you to be able to share it with your teams and I know it's a big ask, but getting your businesses to think a bit differently, because as colleagues and as a generation coming up, things are moving so quickly. We need self belief like that quicker than we've ever needed it before. My name is David Holman. I should probably tell you a little bit about myself. So I'm an IVF child, okay? So they got my dad's sperm, they got my mum's egg, they put it in a dish, they put the dish in the freezer and they tried various combinations to have a child. Now they put three dishes in that freezer. If you come from dish one, this is the best sperm and the best eggs. If you are from dish one, you're gonna be a superchild, okay? You are the best of the best, the best sperm and best egg, right? You're gonna be a supercharger. There are rumors. Don't know there are rumors. Some dish one children can fly. I don't know. Rumors. So they tried dish one and. Yeah, and dish one didn't work. And there were three dishes. Some of you may see where this is going. They tried dish two. If you're from dish two, you could be. Okay, you could be a bit average, you know, probably just. You should just have the ten fingers and maybe just the one nose. But they tried dish two and dish two didn't work either. So they tried disc three and disc three. I mean, I'm pretty sure when you ask the doctor for disc three, the doctor's like, oh, you're serious. Okay. Really? Well, in that case, yeah, sure. Why you're at risk of growing like an extra shin or scales or a really long tongue, like some sort of weird snake child, right? G3 is not a good dish to be from. But they tried dish three and here I am a dish three child. What a confidence booster that story is when you hear it for the first time a year ago. So we move on. Seven years old. Seven years old. And I diagnosed myself with something called thinking lies. Who here's heard of thinking lies? No? That's because I made this shit up. And let me tell you how ridiculous thinking lies was. It was a way to explain the lack of belief or distrust I had in my own thoughts, memories and recollections, right? So to give you an example, I stood at the top of my parents stairs and I knew I had to go down and tell my parents something that would change the way they saw their little boy. So I start walking down the stairs and I can smell the varnish from the banister. So I know they're up because they've just cleaned the house. I walk up, I go to the kitchen, see my parents sat down. I go, mum, Dad, I. Actually, you can be my mum and dad. You're the mum. Do you want me mum? No, Mum, Dad. Excellent. You both got speaking parts just to let you know, so Mum. And actually I was shorter than them whilst they've sat down, so obviously I need to. Yeah, of course. So I said, mum, Dad, I have something to tell you. And my dad says, what is it, son? What is it, son? That's. What's a little bit deeper. What is it? So perfect. Yeah. And I was, you know, I don't know if I can tell you. My mum said, you can tell us anything.

You can tell us anything.

She's a bit higher. You can tell us anything. There we go. I said, okay, Okay. I think I've put some nails in your bed. My parents run up the stairs, whip up the duvet, and they've seen I've not put any nails in their bed. Now, I'm not crazy, I'm just a. This three child. So. But this is what thinking lies was. It was just rubbish that was making up in my head, you know, whether I brush my teeth or not was a common, constant problem. And I just make up all this stuff. It's the sort of lies that we all tell ourselves. I got to university. My health psychology lecturer suggested it might be in the form of something called memory distrust syndrome. Whatever it was, it was just severe doubt. We move on. One year later, eight years old, final part of the story, and then we'll move on. Eight years old, sitting in my primary school classroom, I'm looking out the window. It's a beautiful summer's day. I'm really excited to go and play football and watch the clock tick down. It goes 5, 4, 3, 2. And Ms. Townsend goes, David, can you. Can you hold on a second? I see all the kids run outside. I'm like, son of a bitch. Ms. Townsend, what do you want? Ms. Townsend goes, David, we got that end of your assembly at the church, right? I said, yeah. She goes, I would like for you to do a speech at that church. I said, well, how many people are going to be there? She said, over 100 people. I was like, oh, hell no. No way am I doing that. But of course, she convinced me to do it. You know, I was eight years old. I wasn't going to tell her no. She turned away and she turned back and went, oh, by the way, we're going to practice every single day for three weeks. So that's five school days each week. So we're going to practice three times, morning break, afternoon. So that's three times times 15. That's 45 times. We're going to practice 45 times in the lead up. Great, see you then. I was like what I hadn't even realized, but I'd effectively sold my soul. I'd given up my football, given up my freedom. And at 8 years old, that's everything, right? My life sucked. So 8 years old and not only did, my life was now taken away from me. I had this horrible thing to look forward to. Who's here? Just nod your head if you had something coming up and you've been super nervous or terrified about it. Just nod your head if you had something like that. Yeah, my God, I was terrified. And you know, as I got older, more difficult things started happening like it does for all of us. You know, started losing people close to me and you have your setbacks and I'm half Christian, half Jewish. People didn't always appreciate that is difficult, right? And self belief, I became obsessed with it from a really early age because I wanted it, I didn't know how to get it. So I studied everything around self belief in game theory, neuro, linguistic programming, psychology, everything I keep my hands on. And then eventually set up this business, wrote my first book and I speak to businesses and individuals now to try and teach them some really, really simple strategies that anyone can learn. I just went and did it. So I want to show you a very quick framework which is called the six sources of self belief, which is something I created and this is the backbone of the talk. And then I'm going to properly engage all of you. So these are six areas. Any area of your life that you have or lack self belief, it's because you either have or don't have these six areas. Okay, so think of an area of your life right now that you lack self belief in. I'll explain them quickly. Clarity brings what you want closer. You've got to have a picture. Focus. Whatever you focus on, you feel, you focus on the good stuff, guess how you're going to feel. If you focus on the bad stuff, guess how you're going to feel. Pain. If you know how to turn pain into power. When those setbacks arise, you know how to deal with them. That will give you increased confidence, energy. What are your physical triggers to get yourself in a good state? Momentum. How do you add up the moments in your life and growth? We always need another level to go to. You see it with celebrities or lottery winners, seemingly have everything. But why they're miserable because you always need another level to go to. So they're the six sources. Now if we had more time, we would go into this in more detail. But in the time we have, we're Just going to talk about these two. Pain and energy. And I want to give you some strategies to actually how do you improve these areas? Because the other four you understand intellectually. Those two, you have to feel. So we're going to start with energy. And there's three things I want you to get from today, specifically with energy. We're going to talk about your physiology, what you do with your body to get yourself in a good state. Physiology. Then we're going to talk about pain. How to turn your pain into power, how to deal with setbacks when they arise. Physiology, pain. The final thing is progress. 99 billion is not. Okay, so what can you take from this session or what are you going to do when you leave this session in terms of thinking, how can I make a difference for myself? But maybe with your colleagues and maybe with your families, because this session might not be for you, but it might be for someone you know. Okay, so that's that part. Happiness starts with a smile. It's a quote from Coca Cola and I just want to, I want to test this. Had to throw a Coca Cola quote and obviously brownie points. Put your hand up again. If there was an area of your life. Sorry, at the beginning when I asked you who's experienced doubt, stress or fear, if you had your hand up at that point, raise your hand, your hand up. As most of you, keep your hand up. If there's an area of your life right now which you wish you had a little bit more self belief in, keep your hand up. Excellent. Okay. Keep your hands up. Can I ask you and can I ask you. Can you two both stand up? Everyone else sit down. Give them a round of applause. Thank you so much for volunteering. I'd have never been brave enough to do that. What's your name? Where you from?

It's Gareth. Burnley. I'm from Leeds, working for Allerfield.

Very nice. Oh, nice shoes. Where are they from?

No idea.

No idea. Okay, you had your hand up. I don't want to put you on the spot. I've already done that though. There's an area of your life that you would like more self belief in. Do you mind telling us? You know, there'll be plenty of people who are thinking exactly the same thing as you right now. Do you mind sharing what that area is?

Yeah, it's getting out of her comfort zone. From the position I'm doing at the moment, I'm trying to decide where I should best be fitted next within the company.

Excellent.

That's why I'm here.

And what's holding you back?

Confusion. I just don't know.

I have conflicts of.

Yeah, same thing for 17 years. And it's a matter of what's the next step.

Okay, stay standing. Thank you very much. What's your name? Where are you from? Craig, from Glasgow International. Excellent. Amazing. What's the area of your life that you like more? Self belief in? Good first impression with key contacts. That's a really cool. And that's such a common one as well. What's holding you back? It's kind of lack of confidence. So in terms of being more specific, if you thinking lack of confidence, what's the starting point when you get into that situation? How do you feel when that comes? Nervous. Perfect. Thank you. Now who can tell? Just nod your head if you can tell that these two people lack self belief in these areas. Just nod your head if you can tell. How can you tell? You can tell by through their body. Obviously you can tell by what they said. Okay, but through their bodies, how they stand. No offense to you guys, but how you stand. I know you're on the spot, but it doesn't project confidence, does it? So I want to test something. Can I ask you two to both come to the front? Everyone give them a round of applause. Again, This is where it gets a bit weird. Okay? So I'm going to get them to think of two moments in their life. Okay. And then I'm going to get you guys to guess what the, you know, what state or mood they're in. Okay? Right, so group huddle. Just talk about yourself for a minute. Group huddle. So what I need to do is I want you to think of the saddest moment of your life. And then the best moment of your life. I want you to show through your body, through your physiology. Don't say anything. How. Right, Stand there, Stand there. Okay, so it's a bit awkward, bit uncomfortable. Yeah. But we're stepping out your comfort zone and we want to make a good first impression. So after three, I want you to do the first one. Okay? One. You nearly gave it away. Okay. One, two, three, go. Okay, stop. Okay, the Oscars are coming up soon. I wouldn't get your hopes up though. Can you do the second one? And the second one as we talked about, really go for it. Actually show them what you do in this moment. Okay. After three, you properly go for. Only works if you go for it. 1, 2, 3, go.

Y.

I mean, he's done. Fair enough. Yeah. Okay, now I think we'll all remember that, won't we? Okay. So what was the state or mood in the first one? Shout or something? Yeah. Okay. And the state or mood in the second one? Oh, I love some of these. Elation. Ecstatic. Excellent. Now you can tell because of what they do with their body and their physiology. Both stay here, you're nearly done. This quote here, happiness starts with a smile. It got me thinking. When we're happy, we smile. Great. But does smiling make us happy? Science proves that it does. Neuro linguistic programming. In other words, muscle memory. There's patterns of movements with our muscles that get us in a good state. So when we smile, the muscles in and around a mouth send signals to the brain saying, oh, you're happy right now. So what do you do when you're confident? What are your physical triggers when you're confident? I stand up straight, shoulders back and down, head up, chin up, smile, and then I'm there. We all have physical triggers, so think back to the moments where you've been most confident. And I tell you this now, they'll be pretty much the same things over and over again in all those moments. So work out what your triggers are. Nearly done. As I said, I want you two guys to stand shoulder width apart like this. Hands and hips like this. Excellent. And look up and don't do anything. Just stay there. Okay, Everyone else, put your hands on your heart like this. Hands on your heart like this. Okay. Some scientists found out some things which are amazing. Okay, first thing keeps you good. So you guys first. So hands on heart. I want you to think of something that you really appreciate in your life. I want you to take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold and breathe out. Scientists have found this is amazing. If you do that for two minutes, right? So your ECG and your erg. So your brain waves and your heart rate, they're those lines that do that? Yeah, they are completely all over the place, the two of them at all points. If you do that for two minutes, They sync up. Your brain waves and your heart rate sync up. How amazing is that? Now what's the benefit of that? Terms of relaxation, in terms of appreciation, in terms of your body all pulling in the same direction, you know, rather than have some of your body going over there, there, there, there. It's that feeling of being centered. So think of something you appreciate. I suggest you do that first thing in the morning. Gets you in a really good state. And first 20 minutes, keep going. Yeah, perfect, right? That's a really good thing to do in the morning. Now what are you two guys doing? Obviously you don't know. So the first thing is this. As a scientist who worked out, if you adopt a power pose such as this, there are various different poses, something like this, you do it for two minutes, it boosts your testosterone by 20%. That's a key hormone for confidence, obviously. And it drops your cortisol, which is the key hormone for anxiety, by 25% in two minutes. That's a 45% swing. Now, I think for two minutes a day, we would do that. And when you do it enough times and you get the feeling of how that actually feels, you're to going become addicted to it, I promise you that. So two minutes there, two minutes there. Great appreciation, great confidence. Have a think about that. Thank you both very much for volunteering. On your way back, I want you to get as many high fives from the audience as possible, because obviously you're now confident enough to give them and you guys will really appreciate them, huh? So you've got to run past the second row and you're going to get as many high fives as possible. And obviously a bit of music gets you in a good mood, gets you in the right state. So after three, I want you to get as many high fives as possible. Ready? Ready? One, two, three.

Keep going, keep going. More high fives. Yes. As many as possible.

One of us is missing.

Where's one of the. There he is. Yeah.

I thought we lost you. Come on, run back.

Come on, come on, come on.

Home straight, home straight.

Yeah, give them a round of applause.

That's too much. So we move on to the next area. We're going to talk about pain briefly, and I believe in this quote up here, which says the amount of pain you experience is directly correlated with the amount of power you receive. We go through tough moments in our life, all of us, unfortunately, and you don't always feel like smiling or jumping up in whatever. When I was 15 years old, I was playing football in a gravel tennis court. And at school, I was in the middle of something called the Hexagon of Death, which was six boys who took it upon themselves to score points on how much mental, physical and verbal abuse they could inflict on me. So, as I told you, I'm half Christian, half Jewish. Racism scored quite highly. Being kicked, that was 10 points. Being hit, that was five points. And they tally up the points, at the end of the year, they'd have a winner. I was playing football on this gravel tennis court, and one of these boys came up to me, went, david, can you smell that burning? I Said, started sniffing. And all of a sudden smoke started to descend across the court. I looked over, I saw the smoke, and I said, the smoke, it's coming from that chimney, from the house over there. He said, yeah, David, I think you're right. He said, david, why don't you go and knock on that door, see if they let you in? I said, what do you mean? Why would they let me in? He said, because they're burning all the Jews in there. And he turned back at me and he said, gas virtue. Gas virtue. Other boys started joining in, and there have been a few instances like this, and we were young and possibly don't understand the. You know, didn't understand the nature of what that was, but it's no excuse. And. And I'd experienced a number of these moments, and I knew what they were waiting for. They were waiting for my chin to hit the floor, because they knew when my chin hit the floor, they'd succeeded. They waited for that chin to hit the floor. And I knew also that when my chin hit the floor, I'd go home, back to my bedroom, back to my comfort zone, back to no dreams, back to nothing. And so they wait for that chin to hit the floor. That particular moment I just described, I laughed at that. I laughed at their ignorance. I laughed at the fact they were scared of what they didn't understand in terms of me being part Jewish. Because I laughed, that moment has no power over me whatsoever. The reason being is this. I was studying memory, and there was a line, and that line said, when you look back at an event, you never look back at the event itself. You look back at how you saw the event. So if that's the case, first impressions are incredibly important. So I want to share something with you. 60 seconds to interpret a setback. 60 seconds to interpret a setback. That first impression is incredibly important. Finish the sentence for me, we should never judge a book by its. But why do we? Because first impressions are really important. When we meet someone, we form a complete perception of who they are. Might change over time, but that first impression is incredibly important. So what you do in that first 60 seconds. Yes. I'm not saying you've got to be happy with the moment, but you just have to pull something from it because that's how you'll remember it in the future. So when I laughed, it sort of almost took the power away from that. And, you know, I just wanted to stand there. And that time I just thought, no, my chin's just going to stay there. It's just Going to stay there. So the more abuse came because they wanted my chin to hit the floor. And I said, no, that chin is staying right there. If the chin never drops, the dream never stops. That's staying right there. I looked up and I thought, I look up to those that motivate and inspire me. I look up to those who are no longer in my life, but I wish they were. I look up because anything I want is not down there. I look up because someday someone will be looking up at me. What will they see? Someone will be looking up at you at one point. What will they see? And I didn't realize the importance of defining your moment until 10 years later. In fact, this year. In fact, one month ago, at the same school I went to, around the same age I was a boy took his life after some of the boys threw meat at him in the canteen. He was a vegan. And it made me realise not to get into that anymore. But we all go through lots of difficult moments and we all stand here at some point and we all define our moments differently. And it's how we accumulate all of those moments over time. So what I want you to think is that whatever you're going through. When my grandfather passed away and it was really tough, a few months later, I went to Spain. I was in this cathedral. It's a beautiful cathedral. I looked up at the ceiling and something came to me that whatever you're going through, there's beauty somewhere in the world. Whether it's a deserted island with beautiful blue ocean that you can see for miles. Whether it's one of those embarrassing moments that is not funny at the time but eventually you find hilarious. Whether it's your children laughing, somewhere in the world there's something really beautiful happening. I just think that's amazing. And you can have a great time whenever you want to. Have a great time. You know, if we wanted to, we could have the best three minutes of our life right now. In fact, why don't we? Why don't we? Why would we not have the best three minutes of our life right now? Three minutes starting now. This is me in 1995, okay? This is me with a Spider man cap, sunglasses, T shirt tucked into my trousers. Forget the fact that my parents dressed me up terribly. I'm about to fall over. No. And the key part of this video is this. 1995. So this proves something. I am the inventor of twerking, okay? This is my thing. Forget Miley Cyrus or anyone else. This is my thing. I do twerking. But Fun. Free to excitement and everything. Right? It's just amazing that we could do this. Everyone stand up. Everyone stand up right now. Everyone stand up. Okay, I want everyone to face this way. Everyone face this way.

And in front of the person in.

Front of you, if you can reach them. Little karate chops on their back. Little karate chops on their back.

Little karate chops. Little karate chops.

Yeah.

Excellent. Keep going. Do not stop. Do not stop. Okay, stop. Everyone face the other way. No karate chops. I'll turn the key. Keep going. Quicker, quicker.

Yes.

Everyone face me. Face me. I want you to do this. Always put your left hand out like that. I want you to put your right finger out.

No, you're not a teapot. There is a reason we're doing this.

Put your right finger over someone's left hand. You're gonna try and catch a finger. You're gonna try and catch a finger and move your finger. After three. Does everyone understand move? No one understands.

Amazing.

Love that. Anyway, 1, 2, 3, go. Other way round. So left finger, right hand. Left finger, right hand. Perfect. But this time, this time, no cheating.

No cheating.

Definite cheating in the front row. Off to three. One, two, three, go. Final one. Left hand. Again, right finger down with your eyes closed. Eyes closed. This is an important moment. Get in the zone. Get in the zone right now. Focus. This is the most important thing you're gonna do. One, no cheating. Two, there's definite cheating going on. Def don't even know what you're doing.

What?

1, 2, 3, go. Turn to the person, your left and right, shake the hand and say, define your moment. Shake your body out. Shake your body out. Shake your body out and sit down.

None of you expected that this morning, so obviously that wasn't the best three minutes of your life, was it? You know, you could do so many things in three minutes. No, not that, please. Sorry. Not running that kind of show here. What would the best three minutes of your life look like? And the thing is, it's not as complicated as we think what the best three minutes of our life would look like. So maybe that's a piece of homework for you just to think, what can I do in three minutes that would just change my state like that. It's really not that hard. Now, there's a few more things to cover. I want to take you back to the speech I had to do that Ms. Townsend had asked me to do for the church assembly. I just want to say, so far, thank you for the volunteers and the engagement, because this only works if people engage with it. So it's been fantastic. So thank you for that. So I take you to the day of the speech. In fact, I'll take you to the night of the speech. And I was absolutely terrified. I could not do this, no way could I do this. But practiced 45 times and, you know, walked up to the church shaking like a leaf. And I got there and you think they would sit me at the front. So I walked to the front. But no, they sat me all the way at the back. Took her all the way to the back of the room and sit down. And I am shaking like a leaf. And it's, you know, I'm listening for an hour to people just talking, just anything. I don't know, I couldn't even hear because I was so nervous. And it was only because my friend was nudging me that I actually got up because I wouldn't have got up otherwise. So he kept nudging me. I love to say that. I got up at the front and I was like, yeah, I've got this. Yeah, nice to see you. Nice. No, none of that happened. It went a bit more like this. And I stood there, my hands were shaking like a leaf. I looked at the paper, thought, I can't do this. I looked at the audience, I thought, I definitely can't do this. There's about as many people as there is right now. And then I looked back at the paper and I realized something, that if I had to do anything in this moment, it would be to do this speech. See, Ms. Townsend obviously got me to practice it 45 times, but she taught me how to stand, how to posture myself, how to get myself in a good state. I had the pain of looking out the window every single day, watching those kids play football. But defining it as this is an important moment, this is an honour to do this. And you know, this is significant and I can grow and I can expand from it. And I just want to read you the end part of the speech. I believe and therefore I have spoken. That was the final line. And I want to ask the question, if your colleagues had some great ideas, some great solutions, but didn't have the self belief to share them with you, and people in your business never knew those ideas. They never came to fruition. They could have been great ideas, but they just stay your side. What if you have a child? You have a child or you're going to have a child and they have all these dreams and aspirations of these amazing things that they could do, but they never had the self belief to tell you they never had the self belief to go and tell other people in the world. Now put yourself in your parents shoes. What if your parents knew that you had all these dreams and ideas but that you didn't have the confidence to tell them and they knew that? How heartbreaking would that be? It's just something to think about. And I think for the generation coming up in particular, as I said, things are moving so quickly now and we need confidence like that. Just believe in yourself. Just believe in yourself is not a phrase that helps in any way. We actually need some ideas and we actually need to make progress in some way. Our generation has more resources than anyone ever before, but we are the least resourceful generation. That's the truth. People used to speak up in history at the risk of being killed. Now people don't speak up at the risk of being laughed at. People walk around as if waiting for a sign from God or higher power or someone else telling them to finally start their life. People walking around saying, when's it my turn? When's it my turn? When's it my turn? We've all had a moment, we've had our sign. It was the day we were born. Not waiting for anything else, we're all waiting for you to just show up and £99 billion, it's just crazy, it's just too much. And I just want you to think, whether it's these strategies or something else, or just go do some research somewhere else, or just go find something, how to improve your own state. But as teams, as business organisations, if you work in learning development, how, how can you make progress with colleagues that they've got ideas every single day. So just think about that. So I wanted you to get three things from today. I wanted you to one, talk about your physiology in terms of your physical triggers. How are you going to get yourself in a good state? What do you do when you're confident and think about what those triggers are? We also went through the hands on your heart power poses as well. So just explore some of those ideas, do some research, go and find even more about it. Because they're more better experts about that sort of stuff than I am. We Talked about pain. 60 seconds to interpret a setback. How do we deal with a setback when it arises? I know it's not easy, but you just gotta pull something from it and that one thing can completely change the momentum going forward. And if you do that, day after day after day, that positive tower builds up instead of that negative tower that we all do. You know that moment where you've lost your car keys and you're like, oh, I've lost my car keys and oh no, now someone's cancelled my meeting. Oh no, someone's missed lunch. Oh no, my boyfriend's not. Put the toilet seat down. Oh, I've not done this. And it all stacks up and then one little thing happens and we all explode. How do we change that momentum? Okay, so we talked about physiology, pain and progress and how do we redefine the moment so that instead of someone saying that they're a dish three child, they, they might say, my parents loved me so much that they would do anything to have me. And as colleagues of teams, you might not feel like you're in a position to share these ideas with your teams. That's what I want you to do, I want you to share them. But if you don't feel like you are in a position, then I'm certainly here to help as well. So I've got variation of this talk. I've got three other talks. I do half day and full day training sessions with teams as well. I have an online program called the no Limits University. So you can do it from the comfort of your own home and I do one to one sessions as well. Or you can just follow one of the social media channels as well. So they're just a few things where if you're looking to make progress on research, then you can explore one of these ideas. But whether it's my ideas or someone else's or something else you hear today, just go forward and make progress in some way. So 99 billion pounds, how are we going to eat into that? We've all got responsibility in this room. I want to put that onus on you to think about it. Even if you don't work in that area, just go and share something with your colleagues. My name is David Holman. If you change today, today will change your life. So enjoy the rest of your day, enjoy the rest of your life and I'll leave you with this. The next time your colleague, your customers, or maybe even your child is lacking in self belief, instead of saying just believe in yourself, maybe you can tell them how to. Thank you very much. Thank you.