Beyond My Reach: End of 2023 Reflections

Welcome to Pain, Passion, and Purpose. I am your host, Shakeeta Torres, where I share mental health education, biblical teachings, and tips to help you to heal on purpose so you can walk boldly in your God-given purpose. This podcast is sponsored by Empowered Purpose Academy, a certified online Christian academy where where we provide services such as certification for Christian life coaches, mentorship for master's level aspiring and existing Christian therapists, mentorship for Christians, and continued education courses for the body of Christ. You can visit www.empoweredpurposeacademy.com to learn more and to download your free guide. If you like today's episode, please subscribe and leave us a raving review so that others can tap into the knowledge and wisdom that will be shared on this podcast. Thank you so much for being here.

Hey you guys, welcome to Pain, Passion, and Purpose. And so this podcast episode will be exclusively on my podcast only. I will probably turn, um, some of this into clips for Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook. But I really wanted to just share, um, this message today and share with you all some end of year reflections for myself. So this particular episode is personal. I feel like all my content is personal. I'm very transparent. I do share with people, you know, parts of my life to really drive home points and really teach you, and to also understand that, you know, I'm on a journey like everybody else is, okay? I'm not exempt from, you know, pain and suffering. I'm not exempt from anything per se. But with God, I know that all things are possible. I know that God loves me. I love the Lord. I love his people. And with that, sometimes it comes with persecution, to be honest, it does. And so today's episode is called Beyond My Reach: End of Year Reflections. And so with that being said, I want to share with you a podcast that I'm not— podcast, but a blog I had written. Maybe let me look at it. I'm gonna bring it up real quickly. I wrote this blog, I can't remember the exact date. I would say maybe about 3 weeks ago, and I was listening to J Moss. I love J Moss music. Um, he definitely has that soul type singing, sometimes a little bit of R&B type, right? But it's all, you know, music to glorify God, and it's full of scripture. I love that. And so one song that he had written, it's been many years ago, called Beyond My Reach., and it triggered a lot of memories in me, and it triggered a lot of, uh, things that has happened and also reminded me of how far I've come. Let me take it back just a little bit. So in the beginning of 2023, you know, typically, you know, most believers do, you know, end of year fast or New Year's fast. Well, I was doing a fast, I think around maybe January sometime. And the Lord told me specifically, he said, I want you to fast and ask me and pray that I will increase your capacity, right, to expand you. My God. And when he told me that, of course I knew what it meant. I knew that God wanted to give me more responsibility. I knew that he was stretching me more in prayer. He was stretching me more in so many different areas, you guys. But I did not realize also what I was about to endure this year in the area of relationships, to be honest. Okay, I did not see that coming. And so as I share this with you, I'm not going to call anybody names out. This is not up here to bash anyone. This episode is not any of that, but it's to share my truth, to share a little bit of my journey, and hopefully and prayerfully it will encourage somebody else. I also share a whole bunch of highs, okay? So with that being said, um, in February I hosted my first women conference. Actually co-hosted, let me take that back. I co-hosted a women's conference. It was amazing. It definitely did stretch me because I was also planning, um, uh, the, the Faith and Mental Wellness Summit that I also had in March. So I had my very first summit in March as well. So I was definitely stretched. Um, I felt, you know, okay for the most part, but definitely felt the stretching. Okay, that was in March. You know, April came around, God told me to create the directory. Okay, and around this time, the Lord just started showing me, you know, people's hearts towards me, um, how they saw me, their motives, and so much more. And the funny thing about it is, for some of these people, I kind of had an idea of what was going on, but I tried to keep those boundaries up with them. But it came to a point where I had to just like let them go completely because God was showing me that they were dead weight, they were a distraction, and eventually they would betray me in a sense. And some of them had actually already betrayed me, and so I was wounded. I was wounded, okay? And my husband, you know, he was there for me. My best friend was there for me. You know, my aunt was there for me. And I thank God for the people in my circle, which is very small, which is fine by me. I want people that God has ordained to be in my life, right, at that level of closeness.

Okay.

And so I was wounded, and I even had a dream where, you know, I was on crutches and I was going into the pool, and my husband was like helping me to get into the pool. So if you don't know what that means in scripture, you know, it shows— it talks about how, um, the man of God kept trying to get in the pool to get healing, but he was walking way too slow, right? He kept missing it. He didn't get up and go, right, in time enough. So I'm paraphrasing that scripture, okay? Um, but for me, I'm always pursuing healing. I'm always asking God to heal me, just to, you know, show me my heart. God, show me any areas in my mindset that needs to be corrected or needs to be altered or whatever it needs to be so that I can be effective So I'm not operating from a place of bitterness and unforgiveness because I know what that looks like on other people. And I've also experienced people, you know, bleeding on me because of their own past experiences. And so because of that, my prayer has always been, God, I want to always pour from a pure place. And so looking back, I definitely recognize that the enemy was trying to threaten the very message that I carried, which is to heal on purpose for your purpose so that way you won't bleed on other people, okay? That is the core of my message, okay, in my ministry. And he was throwing some of everything at me. I'm talking about in my dreams, y'all. I was going through so much spiritual warfare this year, okay? This whole year I've had to depressed. I have had to persevere. Um, there are times when I'm like, God, I'm so tired, I don't want to get up, I don't want to go live today, I don't want to do this today. But God said, I need you, my people are waiting on you. And so I had to go before him, cry it out, get it out, because I refused to get in front of a camera and try to minister to God's people from a place of brokenness. And God hid me, God equipped me, and God, most of all, he healed me. And here's the thing, when it comes to broken relationships and friendships, there is grief involved. So I definitely grieve some of these relationships depending on the nature of the closeness of the bond I may have had with them. And so again, I forgive them, I don't hold anything against them, I don't think that they're bad people. It's just some areas that they're I'm not going to have to surrender to God and let God deal with them. And I pray for them. I did like a mini Instagram Reels, uh, little series where I was sharing with people, you know, the word of God says pray for your enemies and your foes. And so I was literally walking that out myself. This ain't the first time I had to pray for my enemies and foes, but this is the first time where I was very consistent on social media and also going through this too. I had a limp, okay? I had a limp, okay? And the Lord was showing me, I got you, I got you covered. You keep your heart before me, keep your— keep everything before me. And I had to fight and push to do that because again, I did not want to show up, you know, operating from a place of brokenness. And oh my gosh, you guys, yeah, God is so faithful. And I've definitely had a lot of highs this year. Uh, this year I have written, oh my gosh, how many books now? I think 6 books altogether. Um, you can check those out, you know, on my, uh, at the academy. I'll put the link in the description. Um, visit www.empoweredpurposeacademy.com and you can, um, see everything I've been doing. I have been building and doing everything God has told me to do. I've been obedient. In. Okay.

Hey, hey, hey! I hope you are enjoying this episode so far. Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a raving review.

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And so some things didn't make sense to me. I'm like, God, why am I doing this? And the Lord was like, it's for your purpose, it's for your future, it's for what my people need. So I had to just stand on that. I'm like, okay God, I don't I don't understand why I'm doing this, but okay, I'll do it. So that's the lifestyle that I live. I live a prophetic lifestyle. I live a life of obedience, not perfection. When I say obedience, I mean in doing the best I can to obey the Lord, okay? Sometimes I miss it, okay, but I'm not doing it intentionally, right, to hurt God. I'm not doing it from a place of trying to earn my salvation either. Get that right, because I know God love me. Okay, and so, um, it— y'all, I say relationships and people, I'm talking about like 10 to 12 people, okay? It wasn't like 2 people, one person, it was people. And so with that, you know, God had to toughen up my skin a little bit because to be honest, like, I love people. I am— I won't say I'm sensitive, I wouldn't say that. I'm not a person who is like easily offended, but I do give people chances and I'm very patient. But if a person keeps showing me who they are, then I would let them go. And I'll be— when I'm done, I'm done. I'm done done, okay? Because I understand people are not perfect, and I definitely understand how the enemy works and operates. And sometimes some people are not aware of that because of their level of maturity. And so God even showed me the level of maturity that I walk in is a lot greater than most people that I, that I actually was like associating with. Okay, um, so again, um, I'm praying for them. If you are listening to this podcast and you're one of those people, I love you, I forgive you, I'm praying for you. I know God has purpose for you, and I'm praying that everything that's there that's not supposed to be there, that you allow God to remove it. That's my honest, sincere prayer for you. Um, and then also, you know, that long-suffering— many people, I feel like, in the body of Christ do not talk enough about long-suffering for Christ's sake. And so what that means is when you decide to give God your yes and you decide to fully surrender to him, then that means that you are signing up for persecution. You are signing up for long-suffering, and everything is not going to go your way, and you're gonna have to endure some things. And so I've had to endure a lot of things this year, um, things that typically I wouldn't want to sign up for, but because I caught a revelation of where God wants to take me and a revelation of what God was doing in my life, y'all, I surrendered. My goodness. And I had to surrender over and over and over and over and over again. Okay, um, yes, okay, like, whoo, over and over again. And so I want to let you know that when you sign up for yes with God and you want to really operate in purpose, you're going to experience long-suffering. Okay, also when I, you know, co-hosted a conference in February, that was the first time I had publicly said really in that type of arena and platform that I was God's prophet. Now let me say something. I've been known since 2013 who I was, and I wasn't quick to share that with nobody because I came from a ministry where I was surrounded by prophets. And so I knew what they endured, I saw what they endured. One of them was my mentor, and she shared things with me, and I was scared at first. I'm like, God, you got the wrong address. Like, this is not for Shakeeta Torres, like, this is not for me. Not realizing that I was already on that journey and already enduring some things already. And so since, you know, 2013— not 2013, yeah, yeah, that's right. So I got saved in '08, 2013, 2012, 2012, God began to reveal to me, you know, who I was and what my office was. But I also understood that I had to grow into it. I had to grow into it, meaning allowing God to do a work in me, allowing God to teach me, train me. You know, I signed up for books and courses and different things But even with that, most importantly, I had to build my relationship with God. And guess what? Deal with the spirit of rejection. Because if you're professing to be anything of God, being God's voice, whether you're a prophet, a prophetic ministry, you're going to experience rejection. And I did not want that yet. And so I also know that by me publicly saying that's who I was, the enemy was coming after me even the more harder, because he did not— he wanted me to shrink back. And one of the things that I would do over the years, you know, was shrink back a little bit. I would go forth a little bit, then I would shrink back, go forth a little bit, and I would shrink back. And the Lord told me this year, no longer will you shrink back, no longer will you not walk in your full authority, no longer will you not, you know, really show who you are in me. Because I definitely have been holding back as well when it came to like social media. Now, in the background, you know, behind the scenes, y'all, I was already operating in my office. But publicly, I was like, nah, I'm good. I just come up here, you know, give the word, you know, share about mental health and faith. And God was like, I've called you to more than just that. You are mine. I want you to— he said, your platforms belong to me. So of course, for most people, you're probably going to see me do more of like the ministry part than mental health at times, because I'm literally obeying what God is telling me to, you know, talk about, or board, share, uh, share his word, right? Share his message to his people. So I'm very, you know, I'm a great therapist, I'm a great life coach, right? And so, you guys, it's just, it's just so many layers to who I am. And honestly, that's how it is when you are— honestly, people in general, we have layers to us. We have many different gifts and talents and callings, but it's up to us to pursue it and to press in it and to walk in it. And for me, I felt like I was almost like suffocating. I couldn't breathe at times because I knew that I wasn't really fully walking in the totality of who I am boldly and unapologetically. And so, yeah, so I am all those things. I'm a therapist, I'm a life coach, I'm a prophet, I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a daughter of God, right? You know, I love people. It's layers to me. It's layers to me. It's layers to you. And don't be afraid to walk in your God-given authority wherever you are in your journey. And I'm still growing, I'm still learning, and I'm humble about that. I'm very teachable, okay? But once again, y'all, walk in your authority. Obey God, okay? The next thing I want to talk about is the spirit of jealousy. I deal with that a lot, a whole lot, and it sucks. It sucks because because you guys, I do not relish in the fact that people are envious of me for whatever reason. It could be something so simple. It, it never amazes me because these are people that I know that, that, you know, are doing good for themselves, that, you know, they're in their ideal job. I mean, they're doing great, but they still are envious of me. And I'm like, for one jealousy is dangerous. If you look at King Saul and David, um, God had me go and read that, um, whole story about them and how, you know, Saul tried to kill him spiritually and try to kill his name, his character, and kill him as a person. And so yes, people are not trying to kill me physically, but they're trying to kill me spiritually. They're trying to kill me and, you know, discredit who I am in God by trying to find fault in me or trying to, um, impose, uh, or project their insecurities onto me. And you guys, once again, I love people, and I know that, you know, I know in scripture it says that we all have, have an assignment, right? Somebody's the hands, the feet, the legs, the arms, right? And so there's no reason why we should be envious of each other. We're supposed to sharpen one another. Iron sharpens iron. And so I even had to push past that because I don't want to deal with that spirit. I don't want to deal with, you know, the pushback or opposition from people who operate in jealousy and comparison. And here's the thing, all of us at some point has compared ourselves to someone, or there has been jealousy provoked at some point. Me, everybody. But here's the thing, what are you doing with that? Do you recognize that you're doing it? You have to kill it. You have to kill that thing. And I know it's so many different layers to this, you know. It could be something simple. Oh well, she has a family, I don't have a family yet, right? That can provoke someone to be jealous. Oh well, she's building this but I'm building that. Like, there's no comparison, you guys. And so again, I encourage you to focus on what God has called you to do, and I'm going to continue to do the same. Thing. Okay, um, and then, uh, the next thing I want to talk about is my year so far is building with God. I am an obedient person, but I have not always been disobedient. I've definitely have missed it. And so because I've missed it in the past, I've missed assignments, I've missed deadlines, I've missed opportunities, I've missed things that God was pushing me to do because of my own fear, because of insecurity, and because of rejection. Not because of— I'm not lazy a person at all. I mean, at this point, I think you guys probably know that I'm not lazy at all, but because of all those things. And so I set out the past couple of years, okay, Lord, no matter what you tell me to do, I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to do it. Because I recognize this, that whatever God is telling you to do in a particular season is to prepare you for the next season. So my best friend was the one that told me that, Shakeeta Torres. She was like, best believe that everything you're doing is not in vain. If God's telling you to go left, you go left. He say go right, go right, because it's not just for your now, but it's also for your future. So whatever God's telling you to do now, I don't care how small it might— it may seem, or how minute it may seem, obey the Lord because he is building you up for a greater vision, a greater assignment. Right? It could be something so simple, so simple. Just do it. And I know at times it can be scary. I know at times you can probably doubt yourself, but you have to remember that you were doing it under the power of God. You're doing what you're doing in God's strength, and lean on that. My God, give me strength. God, give me strength. And so yeah, so build with God. Build with God. I'm thankful that I've been doing that this past 2 years because If I was not doing that, I would not have been able to really build up the academy the way I have so far. All right, and so the last thing I want to go over here is, um, prosperity and success. Um, that's one of the things that God has been dealing with the body of Christ about over the past, uh, few years. Sometimes we can get so focused on success and prosperity that we miss God. And it's not that God does not want us to have nice things and be successful, but more than anything, he wants us to have a relationship with him and to have our purpose to be, you know, in him, right? And so out of that, that's why God had me write the book called 10 Stumbling Blocks for Christian Leaders. And one thing I talked about in that book was ambition, having healthy ambition. And God desires for us to have healthy ambition, okay? And so for me, I never been a person that chased, you know, money and fame. That's not what I'm saying. But do I want to be successful? Yes, I want the thing that I'm doing to be successful. And sometimes things flop and sometimes things don't work out. But in that, I recognized that God was testing me because there are things that did not work out for me this year that I thought would and did not. But in that was lessons. Lessons. He was pruning me, preparing me, testing. Oh God, testing. God will test you. So, you know, if you follow me for a while, I did a series called Seize the Season, and it was 10 different areas God told me to teach on about, you know, how our life is to be compared to the growth of a tree. And so you want to hear that, be sure to go back to other podcast episodes on my YouTube channel, or I think some on Instagram too, to listen to those particular, um, videos. At some point I'll be doing a whole workbook, um, around that series to really help you to navigate your journey and your walk as a Christian believer. It's going to be amazing. I don't want to rush it. I don't want to just put something out there. I want to make sure that I'm doing it under, you know, the power of the Holy Spirit, for one. And that too, I do that, I complete that book in excellence too. Um, and so I think that's it for the most part. So here we are, it is December 2023, and I want to say that I am proud of myself. I am proud of myself not because, um, I'm so great or I'm so this or I'm so that, but because I endured. I endured. I did not back down. I did not forfeit. I did not compromise my walk or any of those things. Uh, my words have been seasoned with salt. I have not retaliated against people. I have not done all the things that the enemy has set out for me to do. My heart has remained pure, and for that alone I am grateful, because out of your heart flows the issues issues of life, okay? And you do not want to be consumed by pain. My God. So I thank God for healing. I thank God for setting me free. But anywho, let me go on into the good stuff as well. That's good stuff too, don't get me wrong, but other things that God had me do this year that was amazing. So I launched my Certified Christian Life Coaching program in July, and I had some students to sign up, and they have finished for the most part. Most of them have, and it has been amazing, okay? They are amazing. It's an honor and privilege to be able to serve them in this capacity, and I'm excited about their future. You interested in being a certified Christian life coach? I said that pretty fast, right? Uh, be sure to go check that out, look at the testimonials, the reviews, and all that good stuff, okay? Also, um, let me see, that was in July, August, September. Um, so my fam, my family is doing great. My children are thriving, my husband is thriving, we're all thriving. Listen, best believe that, you know, I've had my challenges and spiritual warfare, my family has too, okay? The enemy don't just come to attack one person, he comes to attack the whole unit, which is my family. So yes, my children have been through warfare, um, that's nothing new, but this year it has been heightened. Uh, my husband's been been through warfare as well. He's been having to endure some stuff as well. So I'm not in this by myself, okay? I got my family, okay? Um, but many believers this year have endured warfare for sure. Absolutely, they have endured a lot of warfare as well. Um, and so yeah, so I thank God, you know, for unity. I thank God for, you know, my Awakening Prayer Hubs family. Um, I'm a part of, um, a prayer hub leader. I've still been doing that. It'll be 2 years in April 2024. 2024. Yeah, 2024. And I love my regional leader, um, I love, you know, fellowshipping with them and praying with them, and we just encourage each other. It's been amazing. Okay, and so finally we're at the end of the podcast episode, you guys. So, um, recently I just launched a faith and mental wellness podcast, so I'm going to put that link in the description. And the Lord gave me that in November of 2023 to add that to the Faith and Mental Wellness brand, which is a summit and which is the directory.

Okay.

The directory and the podcast are for faith and mental wellness providers who want to share their services, market their services. For those, if you are an individual with a testimony about mental health and faith, I invite you to be a guest on the podcast. I'll also put the link link to that as well in the description. It'll be one link, so this one link will have the different links to the podcast, the directory, the summit, if you want to be a guest, if you want to pitch an episode idea. And I'm excited. I'm so excited, primarily because I look forward to meeting other people in this profession that I've never met before. It is amazing. We have some amazing providers out here, you guys. Okay. Oh, and we also have the Faith and Mental Wellness Virtual Meetup that I'll be having bi-monthly. So every other month, uh, we'll be having a meetup to fellowship, encourage each other, um, share, you know, what's on our hearts and mind when it comes to our profession, um, pray for one another. We only had one thus far, and they're excited, and I'm excited. It. Okay, so that fits you, please come and join us. That link will be in that one link as well. And that's pretty much it as far as the Faith and Mental Wellness brand. Um, as far as Empowered Purpose Academy, um, that is thriving. I have so much to offer in that, and I'm still adding to it. The Lord told me, he said, you are a resource. I'm creating you to be a resource for the body of Christ when it comes to this arena, to this area of mental health, faith, you know, read, you know, books, courses, training, all that. And I also will be speaking more in 2024. So I've definitely been speaking, you know, for a while, uh, but the past year, year or two, the Lord have been, um, having me take it more seriously. And I take it seriously, but what I'm saying is that's going to be a big part of my career, um, is now is speaking, um. And so I am transitioning into that. So I think that's all I have for you guys. Let me think if I can think of anything else that I want to share when it comes to 2023 reflections. Hmm, let me think. I think that's it. So I'm gonna go into a prayer and then I'll be, I'll be done. And so, Father, I thank you right now for all my podcast listeners, all those who follow me on social media, how they've shared my content, they like my content, it has blessed them. I thank you, God, for their support. So, Father, I ask you to bless them. Um, Father, I just pray, God, that as we enter into 2024, that we, that we will learn and we will operate and we will move in Being relentless. Being relentless. That's right, the Holy Spirit just reminded me of the workshop I had called Be Relentless in December, where, you know, I'm showing you how to plan your goals with God, how to hear God for instruction and strategy. I also have, uh, resources in there about imposter syndrome, um, fear, anxiety, perfectionism. Things that we come up against whenever we're trying to, you know, plan out our God-given goals. Okay, so yeah, he just told me to remind you guys of that and share that with you all. That link too will be in the description box. And so I just thank you, Lord, again for 2023. I thank you for every lesson. I thank you, God, that nothing is wasted according to Romans 8:28, and that everything will work out for my good and for your people's good. Um, Lord, I ask you, God, to be with us. God, guide us, oh Lord God, as we go into 2024. Order our steps, God. Sharpen our discernment. Help us to see at a deeper level. Help us, God. Give us the strength and stamina to pursue you, God, like never before. To be obedient to you, God, like never before. And to pursue and do what you're calling us to do. Lord, I thank you. In Christ's name I pray. Amen and amen. That's all I have, and I will talk to you guys next time.