Ouch! That Feels Great

Hey there, Shankar here. I'm crisscrossing the country for a series of live shows this summer. I'll be sharing 7 key insights from the first decade of Hidden Brain. These ideas have made my life better. I think they'll do the same for you. Stops on what I'm calling the Perceptions Tour include Clearwater and Fort Lauderdale in Florida, Portland and Denver, Minneapolis and Chicago, Austin and Dallas, Boston, Toronto, Phoenix, and more. To see if I'm coming to a city near you, please visit hiddenbrain.org/tour. If you've heard my voice for years, it's going to be fun to come see me in person. Again, that's hiddenbrain.org/tour. This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. Some years ago, psychologists at the University of Virginia and Harvard put people in an empty room. They gave the volunteers a simple task: sit quietly for a few minutes without distractions. No phone, no books, nothing to do but think. Before the session, the study participants were also given a device. It could deliver a mild electric shock. Using it was not necessary. It was completely optional. The results were Well, shocking. The majority of men and a quarter of the women chose to shock themselves rather than sit in silence. This held true even after they rated the shock as painful. We are led to believe in everything we hear and read that suffering is unpleasant, something to be avoided. Every ounce of common sense tells us we should avoid something as unpleasant as an electric shock. So what would compel people to voluntarily hurt themselves? Today we begin a 2-part miniseries about the upside of discomfort and the curious pleasure human beings take in seeking out some forms of suffering. When Pain Becomes Pleasure, this week on Hidden Brain. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Planet Visionaries. Professional climber and environmental advocate Alex Honnold hosts Planet Visionaries, a podcast spotlighting the people tackling climate challenges with real, hopeful solutions. Throughout season 6, Alex brings together extraordinary changemakers for powerful conversations about grit, determination, and the power of hope to fuel our fight for a better future. In partnership with the Rolex Perpetual Planet Initiative, this is Planet Visionaries. Listen or watch wherever you get your podcasts. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Southern New Hampshire University. The brain isn't fixed. It's flexible. That means we're always capable of transformation. A master's degree from SNHU can help you build the skills to become whoever you want. A leader, career changer, dream chaser. With no set class times and low online tuition, SNHU makes grad school possible because it's never too late to learn something new. Get started at snhu.edu/brain. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Progressive. Whoever says saving money is hard doesn't know that new customers who bundle and save with Progressive save hundreds. Because switching your home and auto insurance is better than cutting down on those iced lattes you love. Switch to Progressive and see if you could save. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, affiliates, and other insurers. Not available in all states. The year was 1974. Chinatown and Blazing Saddles were in movie theaters around the country. Queen and David Bowie on the radio. James was a high school senior in Toledo, Ohio. He requested that we not use his full name.

I was one of those 18-year-old impulsive, adrenaline-filled guys who just loved being social, ran track, but also was on the high school newspaper and Lots of good close friends, but just kind of one of these bouncing-off-the-wall kind of guys.

There was an unusual fad making its way across the United States at the time: streaking.

Streaking was basically people would run without any clothes through populated areas with just tennis shoes on, typically. And it was sporting events. There was even a a song called They Call Me the Streak. It was a country song and it was like a number one song.

Well, yes, they call him the Streak. Fast thing on two feet.

The song was catchy. James couldn't get it out of his head. Inspired by the growing trend, the 18-year-old gathered up a few friends. Together, they came up with a plan.

I think a couple of the guys at my church, I think we talked to them initially, and then I think we had another guy from another high school. Actually, I remember, and then a third guy was from my school. So I think we started just talking about it and, you know, this small group gathered and we said, let's do this. And so we're going to go to this local mall, very large mall in Toledo, and just run through the center part of the mall, which is a very big area. So the center part of the mall, we were going to enter at one specific entrance and exit at another exit. So we knew where the getaway car needed to be. Where he needed to drop us off and where he needed to pick us up.

James and his friends planned the whole thing like a bank robbery. But as their excitement grew, they let their plan slip out. Very quickly, word got around. On the big day, James and his friends bundled into the car with a getaway driver.

And we arrived at the mall, and we all went in with Fully clothed, just to case the joint. When we came into the mall, it was extremely busy, crowded. We actually recognized some people from our school, a couple from our church, and we noticed a lot of security guards.

So when you walk through the mall initially and you see people whom you know, and you see people from your church, and you see people who are security guards, Did a thought cross your mind that perhaps this was not the best idea?

You'd think. You would think that would happen. But no, it did not. I think it was more of a challenge. Okay, let's do this. We've got an audience here. You know, let's, let's, let's hit this.

James and his 4 fellow streakers had what they felt was a foolproof plan to protect their anonymity. They would wear masks.

We definitely wanted to cover our faces. So we come out of the mall, get into the car, we get into our sneakers and our masks. That was it. And we go in and the entrance was kind of like a fire exit, I believe. So we got in that way. I can't remember how we actually got into that door. And we were going down this long hallway. And I remember thinking, this hallway is really long. We really want to just get this done.

At this point, you are all completely naked.

Yes, sir. You get sneakers and the masks. And we got up to the double doors. I still remember this, the double doors that has the push bar on it. And we all kind of looked at each other and said, okay, 1, 2, 3. And we just burst out, just burst out of those doors into the crowd, running pell-mell into the crowd.

The next moments were sheer adrenaline and pandemonium.

Total panic. Just wanting to get out of there as fast as I can. And I know— I knew which direction that we had to run because we had walked through it earlier. And so we're running very fast and security guards are trying to get through the crowd. So having a large crowd actually helped us keep the security guards away. But there was one point where I was running and a security guard was coming toward me. And I had to use a couple of innocent bystanders as kind of a basketball pick. So they kind of caught the security guard and I was able to run around and keep going. And I have no idea if those poor people— I just don't know what happened. But that actually saved me. I was able to keep going and get out of there as fast as we could.

But in any group of antelopes being chased by lions, There is always the slow one who gets caught. The guards captured one of the naked runners.

I still remember the one gentleman who got tackled and caught was yelling at us. And I remember he kept saying, come back here, come back and help me. And we were like, sorry, sorry, our friend, we're out of here. He was marched back through the crowd to the security office, which was up some stairs So he was kind of the quintessential walk of shame. Totally naked. I mean, just sneakers, his mask. But I think he actually had his mask— they took his mask off by then too. So everyone knew who he was.

What was your feeling as you were running through the mall, James? Was it a sense of just panic, embarrassment? What was going through your head?

I think just more panic and just focused on the goal of getting out of there, you know, just wanting to not get caught. I mean, that was it. Don't get caught, get out of there, try to find your way as best you can. And that was really it. I wasn't thinking about any repercussions or consequences, of course, just, just pure adrenaline, you know, go, go, go, don't get caught, don't get tackled, etc. So.

And so the 3 of you now who are remaining sort of burst through the mall doors on the other side. Was the getaway car waiting for you?

Yes, exactly. Thank goodness. There he was, and we just, we literally dove into the backseat and just told him to hit it. And what I remember is he then ended up taking us back to our own homes while we were getting dressed in the car. So our clothes were still in the car. So we're getting our clothes on in the car and just, you know, You know, yakking, you know, high adrenaline, just, you know, very verbal with each other. Can't believe we did this. Oh my gosh, I can't— you know, did you see how many people were in there? And so-and-so, he got tackled. And oh, you know, and just going, just, you know, that kind of, kind of vibe in the car.

Were there any consequences that came from this?

Uh, yeah, I guess we could say that. So, um, when I got home, you know, I was Pretty— adrenaline was up and just kind of thinking, wow, what have I done? But that was crazy, is interesting, and went to bed. And the next day, um, I was in the kitchen, you know, I was getting ready for school, and my mother came into the room and she was very angry because I thought I'd kind of gotten away with this, that my parents wouldn't know about it. Well, she had gotten a call from one of her— from the women that she went to church with who had actually had been there the night before and witnessed this, witnessed everyone running through, including me. So she, yeah, she saw me, all of me, and my mom just could not believe it.

Let me take you back for a second. You said you were wearing a mask, so how did anyone spot you?

I think several of the other guys had gotten the word out a little bit. So that's why I think we had a lot of people there who knew us. including this woman, because I think her daughter went to one of the high schools, and I think the daughter heard it, so she passed it on to this woman from the church and somehow identified me. I think she— it's a good question how she identified me. Uh, she probably knew how tall I was. Let's put it that way. We'll leave it at that.

And did you try and deny it when your mom brought it up at the table?

No, she obviously had a witness, an impeccable witness. And, you know, so I just— I had to admit it. And I apologized profusely. And I don't remember any consequences necessarily. I don't know if I was grounded or anything like that. But yeah.

What happened when you got to school? Because, of course, if word of this had gotten out and more— lots of people actually had gone to the mall, essentially not to go to the mall, but to basically see this, They see the spectacle. They must have known that it was you who was running through the mall. What did your friends think?

Yeah, I think there was some buzz in high school if I do remember it afterwards. And, you know, I got a couple of high fives and maybe a couple of, you're an idiot. You know, it was a mix of that kind of thing. So, yeah, the word had gotten out a little bit in the school.

When you look back on the incident now, James, do you look back at it fondly? Do you look back at it with regret? Do you look back at it with embarrassment?

Maybe a little bit of both, all of those. I, I think it was, again, the mindset of the 18-year-old at the time who wanted just to take a chance. Maybe it's just the allure of, of, I gotta try this. I— it's, it's way out of my comfort zone. It's— that's unknowable, actually, until it's, it's a testing, you know, of, of oneself to see if this really could If you could get away with it, um, if, you know, how would that feel? You know, all those kind of things went into this as well. And, and probably, I don't know, I won't speak for everybody, but probably not thinking, thinking less of consequences and more of what's this experience going to be like? What could this possibly be like?

What compels us to do embarrassing things like run naked through a crowded mall of people we know? And what does streaking have in common with horror movies, spicy food, and mild electric shocks? The answers when we come back. You're listening to Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Progressive. Whoever says saving money is hard doesn't know that new customers who bundle and save with Progressive save hundreds, because switching your home and auto insurance is better than cutting down on those iced lattes you love. Switch to Progressive and see if you could save. Get your quote today at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, affiliates, and other insurers. Not available in all states. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Quince. We all have those pieces in our closet that we can count on. The versatile jacket, the perfect t-shirt. These are the pieces that make getting dressed easy. And that's what Quince does best. Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials in designs that are timeless, thoughtfully crafted, and made to be worn again and again. And when the temperatures start to drop, Quince makes it easy to build on these everyday staples with versatile layers designed to keep you warm and comfortable all season long. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, Or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Hidden Brain. This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. We generally think of pain and suffering as something to be avoided. See a sharp thorn on a bush? Don't touch it. Scary movie on TV? Change the channel. A menu item with 5 peppers in front of it? No thank you. At the University of Toronto, psychologist Paul Bloom says that as much as we are wired to avoid these experiences, we may also be wired to seek them out. Paul Bloom, welcome to Hidden Brain.

Thank you.

It's great to be here, Shankar. Looking forward to talking.

Paul, we just heard from a man named James who, against all better judgment, decided to run naked through a mall with his buddies when he was in high school. Now, I'm assuming you've never gone streaking yourself, but you have engaged sometimes in doing things that were unpleasant.

Like what, Paul?

I have, and I bet you have too. I eat spicy food. I eat food so hot it makes me sweat and makes me uncomfortable. I go on social media, I think this is going to make me upset. I read it, it makes me upset, but I do it, and then I do it over and over again. I watch movies that frighten me. I look at things that repel me, even in little examples. Like a lot of people, I don't like the feeling of velvet. I just— it just makes me— it's a scrunch up. And some people could see me, they'd see me, I'm all scrunched. And yet When I see velvet furniture, I can't resist running my hand over it and going, oh man. Well, my wife looks at me and laughs. And so I find this fascinating. You know, a very simple story of human nature is that we seek out pleasure and avoid pain. And I'm interested in the counterexamples where we sometimes avoid pleasure and seek out pain.

You know, some time ago, one of my friends was growing some peppers in their backyard. And it turned out these were called ghost peppers. These are one of the spiciest peppers that have ever been grown on the planet. And I just couldn't resist cooking something with it and trying it out. And in fact, just cooking it was so difficult and so unpleasant because I was in these intense coughing spasms. I could barely breathe. It was so spicy. And yet there was a part of me that said, I have to try this.

We're drawn to that sort of thing. So there are limits. Some people won't go near spicy foods. Even somebody like you who will try ghost peppers, you probably have a limit as to what you'll try. So we like some degree of control. And I think the control is really important to keep in mind when we talk about these things. We like to know what we're doing. But with this control in place, we then seek out experiences that push us to the limits. They push our tolerance for pain. As in the ghost peppers. They push our tolerance for embarrassment and shame, as in your streaker. And in some cases, they push us in moral directions to doing things that trouble us morally. They push us with regard to sort of psychological pain. You listen to a song like— I listen to Adele, love Adele, but it makes me sad. And if I'm sad anyway, they tear up a little bit. So it's such a neat puzzle why we do these things.

So when you start to look, you see versions of this phenomenon everywhere. You know, traffic slows down when there's a car crash because people want to rubberneck and get a glimpse of something awful. Here's a clip of the mixed martial arts fighter, Kerri Stellar, interviewing another MMA fighter, Josh Rosenblatt.

It definitely takes a special kind of human being to punch people in the face and to enjoy being punched in the face. Because at the end of the day, not that you like love it, but I mean, there has to be some kind of enjoyment factor out of it to be able to get there, get in there.

I mean, if you take a beating, Yeah, no, you gotta kind of like it. You have to kind of like getting punched in the face.

Do you think he's exaggerating when he says you have to kind of like getting punched in the face, Paul?

I don't. I think it's complicated. So you'd be a very, very bad MMA fighter if you liked it too much. Presumably, he really should get in the habit of liking punching other people in the face. But there's something to it. I read a passage which he— in another interview where he talks about, you know, when you start off, Getting punched in the face is the worst thing.

Yes.

And then you sort of start to feed off of it. And, and here's one thing which, which is really important, which, which, you know, this interview you just played really illustrates, which is for a lot of these things, I think for just about all of the suffering that I'm interested in, we're going to talk about, it has to be voluntary. I don't doubt that when he's in the ring and gets hit in the face, he says, this is the real thing. This is what I'm here for. And it fuels him. But if he's standing in line at the movies and somebody runs up to him and pops him in the face, there's nothing like that at all. You know, if you're cooking the ghost peppers and you're eating them, you're tearing up, you're sweating and everything, but you put that in there, that's one thing. And that's a source of pleasure and challenge and anticipation. On the other hand, if you, you know, wanted to sit down for your morning oatmeal and somebody stuck some ghost peppers in there as a joke, You're not gonna be very happy. I, I've written about this and I've talked about this, and some people say— and people get angry and they say, look, I live a life of chronic pain, or this terrible thing happened to me. Who are you to tell me this is fantastic? And my answer is, I'm not telling you it's fantastic if you don't choose it. Suffering that's unchosen is typically terrible. We're interested now in the chosen stuff.

So on the surface, these different things might seem like they have nothing in common with each other, you know, streaking or touching a velvet sofa, doomscrolling, rubbernecking, getting punched in the face. But you say they all illustrate the idea of benign masochism. We've talked about this on the show before when we featured the great psychologist Paul Rozin. But can you explain what benign masochism is, Paul?

Yeah, so this term comes from Paul, who's a brilliant psychologist. Benign masochism is when we seek out pain and suffering in limited, controlled extents. So Rozin is not talking about people who seriously damage their body or set themselves on fire. He's talking about everyday stuff. So he gives examples of spicy foods, really hot baths, so hot you're just kind of cringing as you get in, you know, saunas, cold baths. Various things like that. Exertion. Running until you could barely run anymore. Your heart's pounding out of your chest. You're breathing in gasps. That's benign masochism. Seeking low levels of pain in ways that don't damage your body permanently, but ways that shake you up. And Rozin is interested, and so am I, in why we do this and what it tells us about human motivation.

Hmm. So I want to understand how our brains are wired to seek out things like this. And to answer that question, you say we might first have to look at why we might be wired to seek out unpleasant experiences. You once knew a grad student who told you about an unusual game that people play in Mexico City. It's called toques. What is toques, Paul?

So toques, he wrote to me and told me about, is people go out and they're partying, they're with their friends, they're with their family, and these are these tubes, and you put your hands in the tubes and you get an electric shock. And I gather you could turn a dial to determine what kind of electric shocks you get, and people compete into how much they could take it. And this to me is a super interesting case of benign masochism. It has some features that not all benign masochism has. It's public, it's social, it's fun. And I think in this case, not all cases, but in this case, we see the social effects of benign masochism in different ways. So one way is it's a way to show off. My son, I talk about my son Zachary when he was a teenager, and he would get together with his friends and they'd be arguing. He'd be trying to stick with sobriety. up their nose and see who can get the most wasabi there. They'd have slapping competitions. They would, as a way to sort of in a friendly social way see who's the toughest, who can take the most. But another thing which is super interesting is that sometimes when you and I experience a painful event together, we're both in a sauna together, we both dive into the ice-cold water, we both zap ourselves It brings us together. And there's actually a lot of studies suggesting, doing this in a laboratory, looking at it out in the world, that shared pain, more than shared pleasure, shared pain brings people together.

I'm thinking about a time when a friend and I went, you know, swimming in the ocean in New England, and it was still winter and the water was very cold. Very, very, very cold. I could barely stand there. It was so painful. But yet, I remember that so vividly now as you're talking, Paul, because the memory of standing there with my friend was, in fact, a bonding moment.

I tell the story in my book of this friend of mine who was hiking in England with a friend, and they got lost. And they got lost, and it was getting dark, and they were cold, and they didn't have any food. They didn't have any water. They were getting really worried. And then they ended up popping right in the middle of a small town, of a pub. And like an hour later, sitting outside in a pub, they're drinking beer, they're eating fish and chips, they're laughing. And this is an experience. She told me this. This happened like 20 years ago. She told me, man, that was a great experience. Well, if they just had a normal afternoon, had a lot of fun, saw some sights, and then went to the pub, it wouldn't have this force. Shared suffering just really connects us.

I'm wondering if this might also be connected to the story that James told us about streaking through the mall. Not only was he doing it for, you know, the edification, I suppose, of the people in the mall, but he was doing this with 4 other buddies. They were running through the mall together. This was a bonding experience for them.

I think streaking alone is probably no fun at all. You want to streak with your buddies. And this sort of thing shows up in other ways. It shows up in religious rituals. So my friend Dimitri Igeladas talks about— studies rituals that involve pain. He talks about this Hindu festival they have in Mauritius. Where people walk over hot coals and they have skewers plunged through their cheek and their tongues. They have hooks dug into their body and then the hooks are attached to chariots. And the men will spend hours in the afternoon dragging these chariots up to the top of a hill. And this all sounds, it sounds, you know, barely, somebody like me could barely listen to it. But it has all of these effects. It brings people together. For the young men who do it, it increases their standing in the community. It increases— how attractive they are to the women. And he has done research finding that if you watch this and you're with a community, you see people suffer for your religion, for your community, you become more willing to give money to the community, you care more about it. It brings people together.

We had Demetrius on Hidden Brain some months ago, and I remember him telling me toward the end of our conversation that at one point— I don't think this was in Mauritius, I think it was in another location— But he had spent a lot of time in this place and gotten to know the people, and they also had a firewalking ritual. And on the big night, someone turned to him and basically said, okay, it's now your turn, and he had to actually walk across these coals. And of course, there was a voice inside him that said, this is not a smart thing for an anthropologist to be doing, but there was also all of this social pressure around him, and he says that once he did it, it transformed the way he felt and his connections with the people around him. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that's the difference between an anthropologist and a psychologist. I'll sit in my office and I'll read about it. And I think I'm very brave for reading this heavy-duty stuff. But Demetri goes and he does it.

So one reason to do painful or embarrassing things is they make us look tough or they connect us to others. Another reason might have to do with the idea of contrast. Tell me about your experience shoveling snow as a child in Quebec.

Oh, this is a— it's this fond childhood memory, um, and, and it's actually very simple. I bet everybody listening has done something like this, but I'd go out and we'd be in— we would get snow. I'll tell you the stories, you know, really. And I, I'd shovel the walk and I'd shovel the driveway and I'd get nice and cold, and then I'd come in and my mom would make me some hot cocoa and she'd make me a bath and sit in the bath, and I would be so happy. And There's a logic to this, which is that sometimes we suffer— and this might sound really strange— but sometimes we suffer because the end of suffering, the contrast where we get out of the cold and into the bath, it feels so good.

My—

it's this dumb joke my father— dumb joke he tells about the guy who's banging his head against the lamppost, and when asked why he does it, he says, it feels so good when I stop. And I'm glad, I'm glad you like it. Are you being nice and pretending to You shouldn't humor my father with these dumb jokes. But, but, but in some way, I think we often seek out unpleasantness because the release from unpleasantness feels so good. There's nothing like a hot bath after you— a hot shower after you've been hiking or camping for 3 days. There's nothing like jumping into the cool Finnish lake after you've been roasting in a hot sauna. And so some of it is contrast. And there's laboratory studies finding that you could feel a neutral experience, something which would normally be neutral, feels good if it was preceded by a painful experience. That our minds work on contrast. Everything we experience is sort of relative. Whether or not a bath of water feels hot or cold depends on how it felt before. And so too for pain and pleasure.

You know, I've sometimes heard people who go to a chiropractor or a massage therapist who subjects them to really intense Intense pain, but when you talk to them afterwards, they'll tell you that the experience may have been painful, but afterwards they felt bliss. I mean, that's the same contrast theory here.

That's right. That's right. And a lot of— now, you have to be willing to go through the pain, and you have to in some way do the math. And I think we do this unconsciously, figure out is the pain worth the relief at the end.

You know, my daughter recently started her freshman year at college, and right before the term started, they went on this hiking trip, which was really in fairly primitive circumstances. There were very few showers. They were sleeping outdoors. It was uncomfortable. They spent 3 days, and of course, they went through this period of suffering. They bonded with each other tremendously, but then they show up back on campus now as soon as the semester starts, and they're moving into their dorms, which are really not that great, but compared to what they had just dealt with the previous 3 days, the dorms felt like the Four Seasons. They all move in, and they say, my God, these dorms are the best things ever. I thought this was kind of genius on the part of the school to basically put the kids through a— period of suffering before introducing them to, you know, campus housing.

It is fairly clever. It is fairly— you probably— the cafeteria food tastes better too if you were living off the food you had to kill in the woods or something.

There's a study related to this idea that looked at how people spend their time over the course of a month, often trying to balance out their feelings depending on whether they're feeling good or feeling bad. Can you talk about this work that's being done?

It's very interesting research. They did it with tens of thousands of people and used a smartphone app to record people's activities and how happy they were when they were doing these things. And what they found was that people tended to work on a principle of hedonic balance, which is that once they did something that was fun, they would then do something that was less fun. They would then choose, well, now it's time to, you know, clean the bathroom or, you know, work on my taxes. And when they did something unpleasant, they would then— that would be the time to go, you know, to go for a nice walk or, you know, have a whiskey, watch a fun TV show or something like that. They would hold their life in balance. And I think this sort of hedonic contrast is really interesting. It says that we often seek out these contrasting experiences. It might be that after a difficult experience, you know, A pleasurable experience is all the more pleasurable. And that might push them in that direction.

But isn't it interesting, Paul, that it's not just that we do something difficult and then we seek a reward or we seek a treat, but sometimes if we've had a lot of treats and a lot of rewards, we actually might be interested in saying, okay, let me try my hand at doing something difficult. So the scales balance in both directions.

I think so. And I think there's a few different things going on here. What psychologists call the hedonic treadmill, which is after a while having a good time, you get bored with it. You habituate is the term we use. And so you need to switch off and do something else. Now, one thing you could do is find a different pleasurable activity that scratches a different itch, but it might be time then to recognize I'm getting diminishing returns from my pleasurable experiences. There are taxes to be done. Now's the time to do them.

When we come back, how we sometimes seek out unpleasant things in order to punish ourselves. You're listening to Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. Support for Hidden Brain comes from Instagram. Instagram Teen Accounts' automatic protections limit who can contact teens, the content they can see, and the time they spend on the app. Teens are automatically placed into Teen Accounts. Teens under 16 will need a parent's permission to change any of those settings to be less strict. Learn more about Teen Accounts and Instagram's ongoing work to protect teens online Working as a dedicated Fidelity advisor, I always ask, what's important to you?

I'll look at those priorities and goals alongside your full financial picture to build a comprehensive plan designed to help grow and protect your wealth. With proactive portfolio insights and an eye on taxes, I'm here to help you make the most of your money.

I'm Laura Maxwell.

And I'm Laura Maxwell. And I'm a dedicated Fidelity advisor. Learn more at fidelity.com/wealth. Investment minimums apply. Fidelity Brokerage Services, LLC, member NYSE SIPC.

Support for Hidden Brain comes from Air France. Air France Business Cabin offers comfort throughout the journey with priority check-in, boarding, and lounge access. Onboard, enjoy menus from renowned French chefs, wines and champagne selected by a sommelier, and free high-speed Wi-Fi. When it's time to rest, settle into a fully adjustable lie-flat bed with added mattress comfort. The art of travel elevated, because Air France Business Cabin goes further in every detail to make your journey exceptional. This is Hidden Brain. I'm Shankar Vedantam. Psychologist Paul Bloom is the author of The Sweet Spot, The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning. He says there are many reasons we seek out perverse pleasures. We seek attention. We wish to experience the contrast between pain and pleasure. And sometimes we just like the challenge of it. Paul, you told me about your son Zachary when he was a teenager, but when he was 4 years old, he was watching a cartoon one day and it had a violent chase scene in it. How did he respond to this?

So he began— and I should tell you, I have his consent to use these stories. He's in his 20s now, and he still— he rolls his eyes a bit, but I could tell these stories. He was— there was different cartoon characters chasing each other, the sort of thing you and I would watch and be fine. But he was a kid, and he'd gotten scared. He started to cry a little bit and shake a little bit, getting really upset. And I said, hey, Zach, don't worry, man, I'll turn it off. So I reached to shut it off, and he yells at me, saying, don't turn it off, leave it on. And then he stares at it and he starts kind of crying and being upset. And I think there's something very human in that where if, if you and I were watching a horror movie together or a thriller and we're just like, oh, this is extremely heart-pounding, very stressed, and then somebody said, oh, don't worry guys, I'm going to shut it off, we'd say, hey, no, I mean, why are you doing— What are you doing? Why are you doing that? What are you doing? We're enjoying this, and maybe we paid to see And that's a sort of paradox. Why, why are experiences that are normally negative, like being afraid, become pleasurable in the context of fiction? If you're sitting in your house alone and it's the middle of the night, you think you're alone, and all of a sudden you hear footsteps, that'd be the worst thing you could imagine. Your heart would be pounding out of your chest, and that would not be fun. But you'll watch a movie where that happens to another character and maybe your heart's pounding a bit anyway, but this is fantastic, this is great, what's going to happen next? And I think fiction is an extremely clever invention. There's a lot of reasons why we like stories, but one of the reasons, which is what we're zooming in now, it connects to our theme, is that it offers us tension and fear but is entirely safe.

I'm wondering if there's also an element of predictability about it. There are some forms of fiction and some movies that have sequels to them that, in fact, are very predictable. If you watch the Die Hard movie sequence, for example, what happens in Die Hard and Die Hard 2 and Die Hard 3, fundamentally, the plot is not changing. What does that do for us as we are watching things that are very dramatic and perhaps even stressful or thrilling? But we kind of know where it's all going to end up.

That's right. And you've had kids. You know, one of the agonies of having kids is reading Go, Dog, Go for the 10,000th time. Because at first, kids are sensitive creatures. And at first they hear a story and it's often going to be too tense for them to sort of cope with. So they say, read it again, read it again, read it again. Tell me the part again. There's a tremendous safety in knowing what's going to happen. And the bad parts of the excitement fade away, and the good parts are intact.

I mean, in some ways, it's almost— as you're describing this, it's almost like a form of exposure therapy. I mean, kids are not quite psychiatrists, but that's kind of what they're doing, right? When they're basically saying, expose me to this scary thing over and over and over again. And after some time, it starts to just become a thing I can enjoy. Rather than something that terrifies me?

You know, I never thought of it that way, but I think that's a, that's a deep point. I, I've always been interested in the idea that for adults at least, our, our love of fiction is motivated by a desire to experience worst-case scenarios, which is why we don't just appreciate happy fiction, we, we appreciate fiction where everything goes to hell. Zombie movies and war movies and movies of relationships that, that end up, you know, in, in pieces. And you wonder why. Why don't we just watch happy things? And one answer is because we want to prepare ourselves for bad things. And one way to do so is to, is to go over it in our head as a sort of simulation, just like you might use a flight simulator to simulate what's going to happen if you're flying and, you know, one of your engines fails. The idea of that exposure could be part of this process is a good one. Maybe there are things in your life which you're going to experience sooner or later, And fiction toughens you up. It gives you a little taste of what it is so that when it really happens, you're in a better position to deal with it.

Do you think the same thing is at work when it comes to the fantasies we have? Many of us, of course, have pleasurable and pleasant fantasies, but lots of us also report having unpleasant fantasies. Now, when it comes to a fantasy, we're the scriptwriter, we're the director. It's a movie that we're making in our own heads. Why do you think we come up with fantasies that are unpleasant or scary?

Yeah, I think that's exactly— it's exactly the same sort of process. So you might be going for a walk, and instead of filling your head with happy thoughts or fantasies about awards and great riches and true love, you say, what if my wife left me? What if I got fired? What if something happened to my kids? There are studies which sample what people think about day to day. So you're walking around and a beeper goes off on your phone. You write down what you're thinking about. And to a surprising extent, over half the time when you're free to think about anything you want in the world, people's minds go negative and we think about bad things. And I think that this in some way makes our life less pleasurable, but it makes adaptive sense. There's no, there's no value in you imagining what you're going to do if you win a great prize, because, you know, you stand to stand up and accept a great prize. That's not— good things typically are really easy to deal with. But what happens if your relationship is destroyed, if, you know, your government falls apart, if people attack you? That's the sort of thing where it really pays to think about, even if it makes our life quite a bit less pleasant.

The psychotherapist and podcaster Esther Perel talks about the idea that sometimes The fantasies we have, including the sexual fantasies we have, are often at odds with our own values and proclivities. So in other words, we have fantasies about things that in fact are at odds with what we actually want to happen to us in real life. And I'm wondering if that's actually a manifestation of what you just talked about, which is when you're going for the walk and you imagine your child being kidnapped, you're not actually asking for your child to be kidnapped. You're just exploring what that would be like and trying to figure out what you would do in that circumstance.

I think that's exactly right. There are studies on what people seek out in pornography and what they do with the fantasies that they have. And to a surprising extent, people, and more often women, have fantasies about violence and bad treatment. But what's really important to keep in mind is, in some sense, they're fantasies and that you're thinking about them, but it's not what they want. In fact, they're having these things run through their head exactly because it's what they don't want. But they have to worry about more than men have to worry about. So our mind will often reenact things that are our own worst-case scenarios.

Can you talk about the idea that some of our interest in playing with unpleasant experiences has to do with play? That, you know, when kids, for example, use their imaginations to come up with games, they often involve, you know, horrific scenarios— being chased by a monster, being eaten by a lion. They also include the possibility of injury. For example, kids play fight, for example. Talk about how games can sometimes be unpleasant and painful, Paul.

It gets at the theory we've been talking about from a different direction. So evolutionary biologists have long asked the question, why do animals, including humans, play? Like, it seems like, you know, you spend your time learning about the world and establishing social relationships and, you know, accumulating resources, but instead, We chase each other with toy guns, or we go watch football. So what's the purpose of play? And I think there's an answer. I think there's actually a really good answer, which is play is a form of safe practice. The reason why young animals, including young humans, play fight is because fighting is a useful skill. And one way to get good at any useful skill is to practice at it. And play is a very clever trick where you go through the practice of what you're trying to do, but in a safe way. And so it's not just— we're talking about people, but like dogs. Dogs play fight. They have a sort of signal, what they call a play bow, where they communicate together, we're gonna fight, but it's gonna be for fun. We're not gonna really hurt each other. And then they proceed with fighting. What makes humans unique then isn't play. A lot of animals play. It's that we play in our heads. And I think everything from video games to horror movies to rumination is a form of safe play. We reenact these things that we want to get good at, like combat or planning or fighting, that sort of thing.

I want to play you a clip from the TV show Fear Factor.

You guys are each going to have to stick your head Inside this box with these 50 tarantulas for 3 minutes. And if you don't think that you can remain absolutely motionless for 3 minutes, I want you guys to back out now. Because besides their 8 legs, each one of these tarantulas has 2 huge fangs and all of their venom.

So this task involves covering yourself in tarantulas. Now, the participants are trying to win a prize, Paul, but as viewers, We are not trying to win anything. So what's the appeal? You know, Fear Factor had millions of viewers.

There must be some satisfaction to think, thank God it's not me, it's other people. But I think we are— we have a vicarious interest in seeing people push themselves to the limits, just like we sometimes do it ourselves, both in the real world and in imagination. There's a fascination in watching other people do it. There's a fascination watching other people compete in sports, compete in games, and, and also put themselves at risk in interesting ways. And, and maybe it's a kind of vicarious satisfaction that I'm not them, look what they're doing, or maybe even a sense of superiority. But I think the most important cause is just this fascination in seeing worst-case scenarios, what happens when people are put to the limits.

So in a more serious context, some people take the idea of pain and unpleasant experiences to an extreme and actively subject themselves to self-harm. Some people cut themselves, others subject themselves to intense pain. Some of these things can be extremely dangerous, even life-threatening, and they become medical problems. They become disorders. Can you talk about how this kind of self-harm might also be related to feelings of powerlessness, but also feelings of control, Paul? Sure.

So I know less about this. I know less about the sort of pathologies of— not the benign masochism anymore, but the heavy-duty masochism where people will seriously harm themselves. Sometimes it's a byproduct of some form of mental illness like schizophrenia and falls very much outside the normal phenomena we're talking about. But there is a connection between these forms of self-harm and the sort of more benign forms of self-harm. One of the connections is they both may be forms of signaling. In some way, an adolescent, say, cutting herself or harming herself in some other way, could be a signal to people, I need help. I need help, and my need is so serious. You're not listening to my words, and I get that. The words could be fake, the words could be dishonest, but I'm going to damage my body to persuade you. That this is serious business. And so one, one explanation for cutting and other things like that is that it's a cry for help. Another explanation is that there is almost paradoxically a sort of anesthesia effect for certain sorts of self-harm, that it takes you out of your body, that the infliction of pain under the right circumstances makes other pains go away.

We should note that there are resources and support available for people struggling with cutting and other forms of self-harm. To access those resources, you can call or text 988 in the United States at any time of the day or night. So, Paul, researchers have examined people's propensity to punish themselves after they've done something that violated their own values. Can you describe these studies and what they found?

So it's an old observation that sometimes people hurt themselves because they believe they did something wrong and want to punish themselves. There's a story about Galen, the 20th— the 2nd century physician. He had a friend of his who beat up severely a slave, and he felt horrible about it. So he went to Galen, went to his house, stripped himself naked, handed him a whip, and said, you have to flog me. for my crime. And Galen tried to laugh it off and said, oh yeah, we won't have to do this. No, you have to flog me. And it might seem like a strange example, but I think we see this impulse in ourselves where when we do something wrong, we're moralizing creatures. This is what I'm very interested in. I study this in children. I study this in adults, our desire to punish wrongdoers. And the most obvious cases are when the wrongdoers are other people, but sometimes the wrongdoers are ourselves. So there's now several studies of the form where since you give people some opportunity to hurt themselves in a mild way, give themselves painful shocks, stick their hand in freezing water, which is very unpleasant after a while. And what these studies find over and over again is that if you tell people ahead of time, I want you to think about something you did that was wrong, I want you to think of a time when you hurt somebody, people will then inflict more pain on themselves. So the role of morality, the role of a desire to punish wrongness, is I think one force that could explain something that goes on in masochistic pleasures.

I'm wondering, Paul, if the same thing might happen on the sports field as well. We've all seen, you know, athletes who mess up or someone who plays a bad shot in tennis and they get so angry with themselves they want to punch themselves or actively hit themselves. You know, again, you're inflicting pain on yourself, but it's the same kind of thing. How could you have made this mistake? I'm punishing you. for making this terrible mistake.

It's exactly the same, the same process. I've seen it many times, and once or twice, you know, I've kind of smacked myself and I say, dummy, how did you do that? And I think it's almost a mystery why it doesn't happen more often. I mean, think about how we want to punish people who mess up, are cruel or indifferent in real life. Doesn't it make sense that when we see that our step— that we ourselves are lazy or cruel or indifferent, we want to punish ourselves. We want to sort of treat ourselves badly the way we think we should be treated. Now, as I'm saying this, it doesn't sound like the most healthy thing in the world. I think in small doses, I think it's fine. I don't think much badly about a tennis player who hits himself on the head with a racket after missing an easy shot. I think if it gets taken too far, And you start thinking that you're worthless and you want to sort of destroy your own life, that could be awful. But in small— like a lot of things we're talking about, in small doses, I think it's part of a full life.

In our companion story on Hidden Brain+, we examine how pain and pleasure can intertwine during sex, and how, at the extremes, pain and pleasure can start to resemble one another.

People who are intense— in intense pleasure, intense happiness, they're hard to tell apart from people whose faces are in intense pain.

If you're already a subscriber, that episode should be available in this podcast feed right now. It's titled The Zen of Pain. If you're not yet a subscriber, please go to support.hiddenbrain.org to sign up. If you're using an Apple device, you can go to apple.co/hiddenbrain. Your subscription gives you access to exclusive episodes. It also helps us build the show. Again, those links are support.hiddenbrain.org or apple.co/hiddenbrain. Paul Bloom is a psychologist at the University of Toronto. He's the author of The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning. Paul, thank you so much for joining me today on Hidden Brain.

Thank you. This was terrific.

If you have follow-up questions for Paul Bloom and you'd be willing to share those questions with the Hidden Brain audience, please record a voice memo on your phone and email it to us at ideas@hiddenbrain.org. Use the subject line Pain. That email address again is ideas@hiddenbrain.org. Hidden Brain is produced by Hidden Brain Media. Our audio production team includes Annie Murphy-Paul, Kristen Wong, Laura Quirrell, Ryan Katz, Autumn Barnes, Andrew Chadwick, and Nick Woodbury. Tara Boyle is our executive producer. I'm Hidden Brain's executive editor. Next week in our 2-part miniseries about the pain-pleasure continuum, why we fantasize about living a life of leisure and why this might be an error.

So definitely people, you know, when they think about a future that's desirable, that's fun, enjoyable, it's about relaxation. It's about being lazy. It's about being at the beach and just kind of sitting. So we see this all the time.

That's next week on the show. I hope you'll join us. I'm Shankar Vedantam. See you soon.

Some of the most important design choices are the ones that go unnoticed, the details that together make an experience feel intuitive, comfortable, and above all, exhilarating. At Acura, that means looking closely at how every detail could make your experience behind the wheel more rewarding. Every lesson learned and every idea refined becomes part of what comes next, and it lives inside every MDX, ADX, and Integra. That's precision-crafted performance.

That's Acura.

This podcast is supported by Nurtec ODT. Rimegepant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time, and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtec. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtec can provide pain relief in 2 hours, which can last up to 2 days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtec is right for you, because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take if allergic to Nurtec ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NURTEK or visit nurtek.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

Trick or treat! No one's home! I see you inside eating a Reese's! Why do people ignore trick-or-treaters? Do they not have treats? Or do they not want to share their Reese's?

Perhaps it's true, everything happens for a Reese's.

Haddaday presents, in the red corner, the undisputed, undefeated Weed Whacker Guy! Champion of hurling grass and pollen everywhere!

And in the blue corner, the challenger, extra strength Haddaday!

Pataday!

Eye drops that work all day to prevent the release of histamines that cause itchy allergy eyes!

And the winner by knockout is Pataday! Pataday, bring it on!