3: The Power of Ritual w/ Nicole Sugihara

Welcome to the Meaningful Revolution podcast where we talk about people's passions and hope to inspire you to your own. We also answer the question, what if you could just add 1% more meaning to your life every day for the next year? So join us on this Meaningful Revolution. I'm your host, Sean Butner, certified high performance coach. And we have a really great episode for you today. So let's get into it. Hey everyone. Welcome to the Meaningful Revolution podcast. I'm your host, certified high performance coach, Sean Butner. Today we're with one of my good friends, Nicole Sugihara. She is the creator of the seven Step Fierce Love Ritual. She's a holistic high performance and wellness coach and overall badass, as you'll find in today's conversation. I am really excited to have this on the Meaningful Revolution for you. So, Nicole, welcome.

Thank you, Sean. I appreciate the opportunity and the chance to talk to you and your peeps. Thank you. Thank you.

Awesome. So, you know, today we're going to be talking about the power of ritual. And you know, as we start to explore this topic today, can you tell me a little bit about what ritual is for you? How you maybe came to be super excited about this and then maybe why the topics important to you?

Yeah, for sure. So I recognize that over my lifetime, I, as an athlete, as just a person in the world, I began to do things over a course of time that would create a sense of grounding, a sense of purpose, a sense of intention and things that were collectively like, I would start noticing that we're in like in the collective conscience, right of, of people and how they would. How they were going about preparing for things, creating intention or mantra for an activity or for performance, for. For competition of sorts. And then things that they would do afterwards to be able to like reground themselves in the present experience. And so for me, ritual is really a set of things that you do or I do that help really ground. For me, it's about grounding into the heart space and in that sense of love. Because in that space of love, I think like anything and everything is possible. And it's also where healing is. That's where healing lives as well, which I think is really important. And so that for me, it's a set of steps that I do. It can take 30 seconds, it can take three days. It just depends on how it goes. But, and that's. And it really has become the foundation of everything that I teach and that I coach with people. And it's also really fun. Like, you know, it's it's a, it's. It's a. It's a lot of fun. And, and really what. For me, it's about the other big thing that it's about. It's about the ability to be able to transform the mundane of. Of just everyday life or existence as some people. I mean, that what it is for some people is very mundane and bringing the sacred to it one simple step at a time. Like one little. One little bit at a time, and bringing awareness and attention to what we're doing to make it more meaningful, more powerful.

Awesome. Awesome. So, you know, you mentioned a little bit that, you know, comes from like, sports and it's something that you do as your career right now. So how did you get started in kind of like ritualizing the ritual, right? Like, like, how did you, like, where was. Is there a moment in time or story where you're like, oh, I need to. There's some common components. I need to start organizing this in a way to replicate it.

Well. Okay, so for me, that's two separate questions. One is when did it start? And the second one that I heard you say is how did I basically create it to now be the seven steps?

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

Okay. So I. I started, you know, like, some of my earliest memories include elements of ritual. And I didn't recognize it until I got. Obviously, like, until I got a lot older and. But my mom was a really great teacher for me in that she was able to teach me, like. So I was born in the 70s. So as a time frame, right, I was born in the 70s. When I was six, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. And. And in the mid-80s, early-80s, a lot wasn't known, right, about. About cancer, about breast cancer, about any of those things. And I already came from a pretty. I called the Woo Woo house, where, you know, we already practiced herbal medicine. My grandfather was deep into herbology and was a medicine man for different places. And my dad was starting to begin to practice it. And then that path over essentially what would be the next 20 years of my life really was informed by bridging the magic of what we would consider allopathic medicine, which is kind of what we think of now as like regular medicine and alternative medicine therapies. And so I learned a lot about meditation, visualization, crystal healing, herbal healing. A lot of those things that people kind of consider the woo Woo of back in the day also probably still a little bit today, although it's lots more common and how we basically, you know, how I learned to use A lot of that. And, And. And what I recognize is in the using of a lot of that. It created it. Create it. Like it lends itself to the process of ritual, of lining these things up, using meditation, using intention, using mantra, using prayer, using, you know, I use oil anointing, the cleansing process, however that works. You know, there's a lot of ways of different. Of cleansing and creating that to be able to. And honestly, Shawn, to really get me through what would be a lot of hard times. Okay. I mean, growing up with a mother that was pretty much consistently ill and, you know, bordering on that edge of not like, of grabbing each day, you know, for the greatness that it is, and then also not knowing what the next day was, what the next day was going to bring. And so it did help, you know, those processes did help ground me from the day to day so that the overwhelm and, you know, the wildness of our days didn't take over. And sometimes it did take over, but for me, it's really about grounding. It's really about, you know, being intentional about how it is that we're choosing to live as much as we possibly can. And a way to. Also, when I need external strength to help guide my inner strength, it's available too.

Right. I love that. And, you know, I think we mentioned this off the podcast earlier or before, but, you know, in the late 80s is when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. And so that.

That.

I love that setting intention. I really connect with that part. I'm not sure I need to now think about, did I develop rituals and stuff to help kind of do that. But the intention with our family was always optimism was, you know, my mom went through chemo, lost all her hair, and she would make fun of herself, you know, and try to normalize it. And like, you know, those types of, you know, we'll look back and laugh about this really terrible situation. She had a lot of, like, dark humor.

Yeah.

Which is understandable, I think. But I love that idea of having something to ground you, having something to help you process to live a better life so you don't get overwhelmed and get stuck is kind of how I'm interpreting it.

Yeah. For sure.

So. And as you develop this ritual, then when your mom was ill, to kind of help stay sane during that process. Is there any other. This is an awkward question, but how else has that type of intention helped you in your life? You know, so maybe not with. In that particular situation, how have you applied it to work or relationships or health or anything? Like that.

Yeah. So I. That's a great question because yes, it. I mean, it did help me through different times or. And I would say I learned more about it in. In those. In that process, like, of my younger years, I think I really started to practice it more knowingly in. And became more aware of, you know, calling it a. Calling it ritual and what ritual really means and also in the. In the process of. Yeah, like, in just kind of an everyday fashion, really. When I was in. More. In my grad school, I did my master's in art therapy. And that was a really cool experience to be able to explore how creative therapies have. How these things that I had practiced on and off for my majority of my life, meditation, visualization, intention, how all of that then lent itself into more of a whole practice. And I've always also been very, very connected to my physical body. And I've always used my body as. And movement as a positive way for me to process through emotion and with emotion and. And with feelings and just really ground, like, being able to use it as a grounding force as well. And so I do do movement in there. And so being able to utilize it, like going back to, like, as an athlete. Right. Athletes can be very superstitious. They can be very quirky people and, you know, wear the same socks or wear this. Make sure you're wearing the same underwear, the same outfit, or the, you know, your hair has to be a certain way or you have to wear this certain thing. Right. Like, there's a lot of stuff that athletes, I think, naturally do that are ritual and. Or can be considered somewhat superstitious because they are trying to optimize that experience. Right. When they're in their. That. That performance state, they are trying to optimize that moment. And so I think we create sometimes these. These bits and pieces that we add to the experience just to give us that external, like, umph. Right. And so, you know, there's been times where I've had different challenges. Like, you know, I use ritual if I know I'm going to be going into a challenging conversation with my partner or with, you know, with my boss or somebody at work. I, you know, I'll ground before I go in. I'll use a mantra before I. Before I do that. I'll use my essential oils to kind of, you know, bring in that plant magic and, you know, recite my mantras in the shower as I'm, you know, scrubbing myself down and really just infusing so that, like, into my daily experiences. So that they're just, they're like reminders, right? They're reminders throughout the day. And I will set them, you know, I'll set my mantras as an attention to my phone and my alarm. As we've learned to do through, you know, certified high performance coaching. I have post it notes like all over the place. I have things written all over my windows and my mirrors, in my office and in my bathroom of, you know, who I say I'm going to be or that I am being or that I am, you know, working on being. And so those are some of the ways I just do it in a daily way. And because I think when we think of ritual and ceremony, I think a lot of the time people think it's got this. Got to be this big to do, right? Like it's. It's the wedding, it's the celebration of life. It's the all the things, right? It's the birthing of a new human. It's whatever we're like, or it's a big birthday party. And it's like, it can really be a simple process. It doesn't have to be this huge thing. It can be, which is super exciting too, and. But it doesn't have to always be that way. It can simply just be really honestly taking five minutes before you walk in the house and reminding yourself of who you say you're going to be and who you are. And like taking a few deep breaths and going, okay, I got it. Here we go.

Right?

Like checking your energy, checking your space before you walk into somewhere that is in my day, in, in my world, I consider that to be ritual.

Okay. I love that, you know, and that setting and that again with the setting, an intention for space, for an experience. I know as a coach also that a lot of times helping clients set that intention before they go and greet their spouse after a long day of work so that they don't just, you know, lay out on the couch and become a couch potato for the, you know, five hours they're with their family after work or whatever. Usually, like, people are so surprised that it's so simple that it could just be a very simple meditation, as you said, or those questions or like, whatever you have to do sense. And you know, maybe it's plant magic, maybe it's classical conditioning, I don't know. But I think it's powerful, you know, so that's really cool. So now for me, when it comes to structure, which is sometimes how I view rituals, I am so anti structure. Like, I like to be able to, you know, tweak things and, like, kind of freewheel. Even though I know deep in my heart, when I have a methodology, when I have a structure, when I have rituals, it's really better for me, you know, it's. That helps me keep consistent and disciplined on the things that I need to do. So I'm just wondering, have there been times in your life, as you've been on this ritual journey, really immersing yourself in it, where it might have backfired or kept you from being flexible? Then I'd imagine knowing you, it's probably just an opportunity to tweak the ritual, to be more encompassing. But I'd love to hear if there's any moments that come to mind on that type of.

Yeah, that's an awesome question. So has it backfired? I'm not sure I've ever had it really backfire because you know me well enough that you actually answered part of the question yourself already in that I'm not a real rigid human being when it comes to a lot of things. And, you know, and so, like. So, like, allowing for space, right? Allowing for grace and allowing for space and allowing for flexibility. So, like, just to give you an idea, like the seven steps, I'll just. I'll just say what they are. We can. You can pinpoint, you know, if you. There's certain ones that you want more information about. But. So the seven steps is setting an intention. Second one is anointing. And I usually do that with an oil, but you can do it with water or ashes is another classical way to do it. Dedication, mindfulness, which is where meditation and teaching come in for me. Movement, I can be as simple as 10 body squats, or simply just like, shaking your hands out. And then cleansing is the next step. And then holding the space, or what I also call witnessing, is the last step. And so, and I said at the beginning that it really. Like, these steps really can be done in, like, 30 seconds, right? If, like, I have a little piece of paper, it's like a little cheat sheet, and you can, like, go through them super quick, or you can take your time with what you want, or realistically, you can be like, I just need number one today, or I just really need number three right this second. Like, it's. For me, it's about the awareness of the things that help bring that. That sense of joy and grounding and awareness, right? Like, and I keep saying the word awareness, but it is true. Like, awareness is such the key part, because once we're Aware something, then we can do something about it. And so. And also, like, the steps just help put things into action because sometimes we're like, oh, I'm just going to think good thoughts and everything's great. Well, yes, and we also know that putting things into action are really helpful, which is also why the movement part is super cool, because you can start infusing that intention into different parts of the body. I work with the chakras a lot and the different energy centers in the body. There's seven to multiple more of them, depending on which tradition you follow. And so it's a way to enliven the light part of that, you know, of that energy center, and also a way to process through the shadow part. And so being able to move in a way that activates that part of the body can be really powerful. And. And again, it can be super simple. It can be like just shaking out my hands. I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm just shaking my hands because that's like an activate 4th, 4th chakra, like my heart space, because they're an extension of my arms and my heart. So here we go. And then, you know, like, holding the space and witness is really like the last step because it's really how we choose to take all of what we just created and activated out into the world. So it's like the daily reminder. It's the consistent reminder. Like, if I'm wearing a certain color, if I'm eating certain colors of foods, I know intentionally that that's activating that center of my body. And so. Or it can just be as simple as wearing your very favorite, like, shirt or your necklace or a bracelet or favorite shoes or your socks or favorite pair of undies, like, whatever that you know that it's like a hidden superpower that you have. And so I love that. That can just be your own secret, right? It's like it's your own little thing that you've your own little sass that you're bringing out into the world. And it just helps us. It helps me exude that throughout the day and throughout my life. Hopefully. That's like the intention is for the whole life, but however long that lasts. So.

Right, yeah. Okay, so what I'm hearing is it's not so much a rigid structure as maybe a toolbox that you're constantly reminding yourself to access. Is that.

Yes, both. It can be both. It can be your toolbox or it can be the structure. If you want it to be the structure.

Okay, awesome. Okay, that's good to Point out. So I'm now wondering now. So we talked about a couple of different scenarios when you might use a toolbox of ritual like this. Right. So it's when you have to set good intentions and bad circumstances. Maybe because you're dealing with an ill family member regularly, maybe you need a ritual to calm those nervous and excited nerves before having to perform either as an athlete or, I'd say, any type of performative art. Maybe that comes to mind for me when, you know, it's part of your everyday life so you have this to access. But if you were to be talking with someone who maybe didn't have any rituals in their life, how would you connect? Or what would you look for as hooks on, like, oh, may, or, you know, we talked about before, or when you're transitioning from work to home, and maybe vice versa. Like, what. What are the hooks that you're looking for when you're working with someone on, like, oh, you need to, like, you know, be a little bit more mindful or you need some type of cleansing thing to improve the energy here or how you're feeling about this before you get into the next phase.

Okay. So let's see if I can answer that in how I'm understanding. So let me just make sure I know what your. The. The word hook is getting me, like, a little bit confused for a second.

So maybe it's how would you diagnose someone and be like, oh? Or how would somebody maybe self identify and be like, oh, I need this in my life? Maybe that's a good way to phrase it.

Okay, perfect. Okay. Yes. That one makes a lot more sense. Okay, thank you. So I think that. So. So there's a couple of ways that that can be. That we can go about it. First of all, I think that everybody can benefit from any of these things. First of all. So I'd be like, anybody, I think, or I'll just say most people. Let's just, you know, I'll give it the caveat. Most people can benefit from intent. Setting an intention in, you know, the beginning of the day or the evening. Right. I think anybody can set an attention. I think anybody can benefit from looking. So in the dedication step, that one doesn't get a lot of credit sometimes, but in the dedication step, one of the first ways that I learned to use that in a real, like, felt like a very impactful way in a really cool way that really did shift how things. How I did things is before a workout or a training session, and more specifically, really before a race For a couple of years, I was a Spartan obstacle course racer. And so before each race, I would dedicate that race to somebody else or to somebody's. Else's. Multiple people.

Okay.

And so I share that because I don't know how many. And that's not uncommon. Right. But I also would ask, how many times do we wake up in our day and think this day is going to be dedicated to this person or these people or these things? Because I know that my extension of love could make an impact, like, from my heart. So when I'm saying dedication, it's. It's an offering from like my heart space to that person or those things. And they don't even have to be alive anymore, but it's like, it's keeping that energy alive. And so for me, that is, you know, that can be a 15 second process before I'm getting ready to get on my bike, before I go for a walk in the woods. And I love being able to do that. And I oftentimes do it for people that I know that can't do it. Right. They can't move their bodies or have been injured or whatnot.

We hold on for one second. I have a feeling the mower's about to go and I'm like, not present because I'm.

Yeah. Oh, okay.

Thank you. I hear it coming. Messing with my focus.

So.

As you were. I'm sorry.

Okay. Take me back to that question that you just asked me. I'm trying to remember what the question was. Um, now that we got off on the.

We were talking about hooks. You're talking about dedication and how keeping that energy alive of dedicating to someone that's here, maybe not here with us is really important.

Yes. And it was back to the. What the. Yes. It was the question of the hook. But I can't remember how you restated it. So I was like, oh, yeah, that's. That makes sense.

It was like, how do you self identify that maybe you need a little bit more ritual.

Yeah. And diagnosing it. Okay. With other people. Okay, got it. Okay, thank you. I have to reorient for a second. Okay. So, yeah, so I share that piece about dedication because I feel like that is very helpful when. And it's just a different way to go about our day and it's a way to bring in. So I think for me, the dedication piece is about getting out of myself, but also as an offering. And so you kind of ask, like, how would I diagnose what somebody needs? Right. So. And I started that Saying, I think everybody could benefit from any of these pieces. And I think that they could. People can benefit from all, all seven of these any one time. And so I start off teaching anybody, like, here are the simple seven steps. Like, it's just like, here's the super basics. And then each one of them I can go deeper and deeper and deeper on. And one of the ways that I could go deeper, like getting more in depth with your question, is if somebody is having. We'll take a really simple one. If somebody's having relationship problems or relationship issues or wants to expand their relationship with their person or their significant other or their children, right? Then I look at that as being a fourth chakra, love experience and being able to tap into the fourth chakra. So for each chakra, so for the seven of them that I work with, that each of those seven steps gets correlated with that. So I, I have like seven different rituals essentially that are, that can be really specific to that energy center of the body or to that intention of life that if somebody is experiencing or wants to experience more fully or wants to work through. So the shadow side of love is grief. And so if somebody's also coming to me and they've just had, you know, a loss in their life and. Or they're grieving something or they're processing through a grief process and they're not quite sure how to do that because, like, who really knows exactly how to do that? That's just kind of something life throws out of sometimes. Then working through those, the seven steps as they relate to the fourth chakra, then they can start activating, balancing and cleansing and clearing out that particular chakra and that energy system of their body and really just the energy of their life in general. And so if the word chakra freaks you out, like, that's okay. Like, erase that from the conversation and just think about if I want more love, if I'm dealing with a sense of grief and a sense of loss, like, how then do I deal with this differently? And that's really what it comes to, comes down to. And so for me, that's kind of. So somebody comes to me with a specific issue that they're dealing with, right? So if they're coming to me and they want to work, they maybe they're working on their business. They want to expand their mind, right? They want to expand their mind, they want to shift their mindset and they want to be open to what's happening and they want to get more creative when they're, you know, their mind Juices. Right. Then I'd work with their six chakra, because that's in. That's like the brain center. And so you can support that in lots of different ways and be able to, you know, work through these seven steps as they relate to that particular space and that intention and helps, you know, invigorate that. Right. So, yes. Does that answer the question? Hopefully that was simple enough, but I can make it simpler too.

What I'm hearing and what I'm getting out of it, in particular with grief, if you like. And because we're both high performance coaches also, like, the thing that I locked onto is like, when you're stuck in a particular emotion in life, so grief being one of them, you know, it's okay to experience it and it's human to experience it. When you know, if you're going three years without being able to get out of bed because you're so grief driven, like, that's an issue, quality of life, of how you're showing up in the world, that maybe there's a different way and maybe you need to access or cleanse or, you know, be mindful or, you know, any one of these steps to kind of help get you over that, that hump. And I would imagine when you're trying to create abundance, when you're trying to be creative, you know, I know I have rituals myself when I need to do writing or videos or what I do before these podcast interviews to try to get my energy up and in the right zone so that I can listen and focus and do all that kind of stuff in. You know, when we're interrupted with lawnmowers, inevitably because the world knew. So, yeah, so that, that's kind of what I'm hearing. It's when you feel stuck in a particular area of your life, maybe it's time to do these rituals. One to diagnose and say, hey, is it, what's my intention here or do I have an intention? If not, that's where you land if I need to anoint. And you can explain what that maybe means a little bit more. You do that type of thing. That's kind of what I'm hearing. Does that sound correct?

Yeah. Yeah. And. And then also the invitation is to, you know, that, that for me, that's the. The shadow side of each of the shockers or that energy center of the body or that intention. So sometimes, you know, we need, we need help shifting out of that. And maybe we're stuck. Maybe it just kind of keeps coming in and out. Maybe, I mean, Everybody, I mean, here's the reality, right? Everybody, at least in my opinion, everybody's, everybody is going to experience grief, shame, attachment, like, you know, shaking of their foundation, right. Of a variety of different ways, a variety of different kinds, on a fairly, I mean, I would consider that probably in a fairly regular basis and just by being human, right? So there isn't anything wrong or bad about any of that. That's literally just dealing with human life. And so not only is it if somebody is, is stuck in that situation or, or in that emotional state, but it's also really to help us learn to. I heard a quote a long time ago that said, build your robustness now so that when like, crap hits the fan, crap, it's a fan, that you're prepared. And so part of what I, why when I talk about these processes, it's so that we're building our robustness for life. Because inevitably these, some things are going to happen, right? Like crap is going to happen. And so building the practices and building the processes and just being aware of these things helps us so that when those things happen, not if, when, if those things happen, but when those things happen, you have again, we call that your tool belt, like your toolbox. To be able to dip into that and be like, oh, okay, I remember how to do this thing. Like, I remember I can, you know, practice this. I know that this thing gave me a lot of strength last time or it gave me a lot of hope or a lot of just a sense of peace. And so I'm going to practice that. And so it is a practice like this is nothing ever to master, right. It's like, it's a practicing and it's a playing with. And some things might feel more natural to us than other things, but being able to use these things so that hopefully we keep ourselves from getting into places of being stuck. Right. Like, so that we have tools to consistently move us through and with these things. And I think that's also part of the power, is that if we do find ourselves stuck, great, we have them. And it's also a way to keep things more fluid. Right. It's like constantly kind of priming the pump and oiling the gears and moving things through so that nothing really big, like takes a hold and then knocks.

Us out right on. Locks up the whole system.

Yeah. Which, I mean, which is okay too. I mean, I've had that happen and you know, a few times. So it's, it's. That's also just, it's also life. And these are the Things that have helped me get out of that funk.

Gotcha.

A hundred percent. Or through some very difficult challenges. Right. Like, just different. Here's an example. You asked another, like, for a real life example. Yeah. Um, so In August of 2019, I was doing a spartan race in Colorado at, like, 10,000ft altitude, and I was going through one of the overhead obstacles, and I fell off the obstacle, and it landed on my bum and knocked the wind out of me. I crawled out of the way, and I thought something not great just happened to my body, but I wasn't quite sure. It ricocheted up to, like, right behind my heart, and I felt it go up and just, like, go. And I was like, oh, dear. Well, I was on, like, a mile 11 of about a 15, 16 mile race, and I had, I think, 11 more obstacles that I had to complete. And so I was in an extreme amount of pain in that moment. So this is, like, one of the ways that I used this practice to be able to help move me and get me to the end of the race. Um, they didn't medically evacuate me. I wouldn't let them because I was just a little stubborn. And I use them. I practice the mantra, and I don't know if I can swear in here, but I'll be like, I'll kind of bleep it out, but it uses all of them. But my mantra that got me through that is, I am a badass mother effer warrior goddess. And I probably said that no less than 100 times in those, like, last 11 miles. And I honestly think that it was, like, one of the things that really did get me across the finish line. Now, I'm not saying I probably should have gotten across the finish line. I probably really should have been medically evacuated. But at the time, like, it was really powerful to be able to harness that, because it's something that I had practiced, right? Like, I practiced it when I felt good. I practiced it when I felt like I was on top of the world. I practiced it in my car. Like, I practiced it when I was doing bicep curls. I practiced it whenever. And so when I say we. We practice these things to be able to build our robustness, that was a time where I could tap into it, right? We, like, what is the point, honestly, of practicing positive mindset, practicing healthy practices, you know, wellness practices, whatever you want to put in that line, if, when we really need them, we don't know how to do it and we forget about it. It's like, what was the whole point of the last five years.

I love this point because I think this is where for a lot of people it might have sounded like a lot of woo, but this is where the rubber hits the road. Like, this is the practicality of the mindset, the intention of the ritual, that like, you know, psychology is kind of the same way, where it can be very abstract and how people behave and all the stuff. But when you realize that, like when you're kind to somebody, they're more inclined to be kind to you and it impacts you. And in that real life sense, I think that's super important, super powerful. And I'm also like, obviously you're okay. Did you go to the hospital afterwards? I want to resolve this story for everyone.

I won't leave you hanging. Yes, thanks for asking. I did go to the doctor when I got home. I needed to get myself back into my home state and go to one of the doctors there. So I did. And that was like the next part of the journey was I was originally told that I hadn't broken my back, that I had just compressed my discs and of T890 10, your thoracic spine. So the space right behind your heart, essentially. And it wasn't until the next February of 20, February of 2020, right before, like the world went wild, that I actually had an mri. I'd asked for an MRI a few times and I wasn't granted one until February. And. And then I found out that I'd actually compression fractured three of my vertebras. And so that was a very long healing process. And just now, I mean, we're now what, 2022. And I can say just within the last few months, I'm back to actually feeling much better and a lot stronger. I've just now started to incorporate more strength training, light strength training, not a lot of like anything crazy, but just more strength training, more core work and building that space back up again because I really did lose a lot of strength in there and through that healing process. So, you know, that was a personal journey that I was able to utilize a lot of the practices that I do. And you know, that really did get me through a lot of that. I mean, and again, that, that positive mindset. And again, like, for me, ritual really is a lot of it. Like, I'd say, I don't know, let's, let's say 85, 90% of it is really about creating positive mindsets and, or healthy mindset, like a wellness based lifeset mindset, whatever. Like, I don't want to use the word like positive all the time. Because sometimes it's like just reality. But it is about the psychology, it is about mindset, but it's, it's in a holistic term where we're incorporating the process into our entire being so that like not just our brain gets it, but like my body gets it, my spirit gets it, like my emotional body gets it. Like I get it on a holistic level. And so it's not just about like, you know, that I can turn my brain into being this really positive, amazing thing. But you need the rest of your body to join you.

Exactly.

It's a whole, you know, you need all this going on with you if you're going to go down the trail. Like you need the whole thing. So. Yeah, so that's, that's the, that's the continuation of the story. Um, and I have, and people might ask, have I raced again or do I plan on racing? Cause that's always something people ask me. No, I, I do not plan on doing any more obstacle races. There's just too much about them that does not feel good to me yet. And, but I, and yet I did do a trail running race. So I have gone back to a spartan race, but it was their trail series so there was no obstacles except for the trail involved. So yes and no to that question.

Good. You know, I was. You took my next question out of my mouth on that. So. Awesome. So kind of just moving along. I'm curious, when you take a look.

At.

Other people that do rituals or facilitate rituals, like, what do you think a like top talent looks like in your space?

Wow.

And we're getting into the questions that kind of get, get into people's heads normally. So take, take a moment if you need to.

Okay. What does a top talent look like? Well, okay, this may not be the answer that you were looking for, but. Or I don't know that you're looking for any question or answer necessarily, but I'm going to answer it in a different, in a different way of how does my process maybe look different than somebody else's? Okay, like what, what actually makes it maybe more unique? Because one of the things that I would say that would probably be considered like I want them to be accessible. Okay, Right. Like more than anything else, I want the process of ritual, whatever works for that particular person to be accessible. I don't want it to come off so woo woo or so like way over here that it's not grounded in reality. And what I often see a lot of the time is that the stuff isn't grounded in reality. And so when somebody starts talking about it and maybe that's how it came off at the beginning of this conversation. So I'm glad that we can kind of like wrap back around to this. This situation is that I want it to be accessible for whoever wants to do these things, right? It isn't only for the insanely spiritual person or the person on their vision quest or you know, the person like banging on their drum. I have a drum, I love it. And like it can be the average person, right? Like it can be your. You're just like, like your everyday human being. Like we're all everyday human beings wandering around in the skin suit, like wondering what's next. And so, yeah, so, yeah, so I. So for me. So I guess that answers the question too. To me, somebody that would be, you know, a, like an awesome person in my space, which I would consider, you know, ritual and ceremony and you know, personal empowerment. It is that it's accessible. It is that it's not so far off the deep end that other people can't quite understand it. And it's okay if it is. Right. Like that's great. There's a space for that too. For me, I want it to be accessible. I want it to be in our everyday actions. I don't want it to be so far removed from our everyday experiences that it's like it's a 45 minute setup and that you have to like get all the things ready. And as many of the things as I do have things, right, I do, I do create and sell things and it can all be done without it, right? You are your own best vessel for how this is going to go. Like your heart, your mind, your soul, like that's all you need. You don't need the smudge sticks and you don't need the oils and you don't need the whatever, right? You don't need the feathers. Like I love all of it. I use it all. And at the same time you don't need any of it. You just need your own being and an intention.

Right on. So that's exactly what I was looking for. Just kind of how to assess that because like when I also think of people that are in like the ceremony space, probably for a lot of folks you might go to like there's the woo woo, I guess side, there's religion, I think is a very kind of set ritualistic thing. I think health practices could be a very ritualistic thing. So like your peloton instructor could be a Master of ceremonies of sorts, where, you know, you get on the bike. They do.

I don't.

I've never done peloton, so at this point I'm just kind of guessing what they do.

But I can tell you. And you're right. Yes, you're right.

Get the intention in. They set up the thing, put on some good news. I've done cycling class, so I imagine it's similar to that. So, yeah, I love that it's accessible, it's grounded in reality, and it's just everyday actions we can take to find our way in a sometimes chaotic world. So on this topic, too, of people in this space, do you have one to three different influences that informed your process or that you borrow things from or that you're like, oh, I really like this. I need to spread the word. Like, everyone should know if you're interested in creating your own ceremonies, whether you use your process or another one that's accessible and grounded in reality and grounded in everyday action, like, who would you point people to?

So, okay, so there's a couple of. So, okay, so where did it. Okay, okay. There was again, there was a couple of questions in there. So where I mostly really became, where it started to really coalesce for me is I would say from practicing yoga and becoming a yoga instructor. And that was like, what I did for a good chunk of my life. For I say it was like I was doing yoga before yoga was cool. And so there's a lot of ritualized practice within the yogic space. And, you know, I mean, a class is a ritual, right? I mean, it is actually. Well, it could be. I would say it. It's rituals that create a ceremony. I mean, every class could, depending on how it rolls, could actually be more of, like a ceremony in many respects. And so. So that's where I really started to use it. Learning to use it differently and using it like, and in a. In a regular way. Because the practice of bringing your body to the mat is considered a sacred act, right? It is. It is a sacred act. That is then where you are communing, like, you know, you are connecting mind, body, spirit in movement and breath. And so. And we're learning to tap into that breath, which is the creation of life and space. Right? So it's like, without the breath, we're not here anymore. And so you're learning to utilize that and create that. So that in and of itself was a very big turning point for me. And then your next question was, so who are my influences then in helping create that so I'd say that one of. And these are yoga teachers and at least for that particular conversation. So Sean Korn, she was one of my, like, original mentors back in the day. And it's S E A N E and then corn, like the vegetable. And Johnny Cast was another one who was very, very influential in bringing that ritual and to the mat and taught me a lot about ritual. And he's amazing. And so those were a couple of people. People can, you know, check them out and in. Aside from like the yogic space, Danielle Laporte is one of the most, like, amazing women that I have not met her yet, but she's amazing. And it's. Laporte is la and then P O R T E. She's incredible. She talks a lot about rituals, talks a lot about the heart centered space. And there's a lot of different practices for that. And then I know there's more. I mean, Brendan, he's one of our, you know, he's one of our good buddies, Brendan Burchard. And so he, he. What I've recognized over the time of recognizing where the different pieces have come from. Like, if you look at most spiritual practices, whether they're, you know, they can be religious, they can be spiritual, they can be from any walk of life, honestly.

Yeah.

They're all grounded in these same principles and, you know, from Native American to Buddhist to Hindu to you know, different, you know, sections of Christianity. And like, all of them have these different elements that can be utilized and they utilize on a regular basis. And so what I did is I saw. Oh, okay. And experienced multiples of them and then brought them together in what seemed like a functional, fashionable, like, way for me to do that. That was simplified and it was simple, but also could expand.

Yeah.

And so I learned a lot of that just throughout the years, like I said. But then, like, some of these people were really big influences. I integrate it. Was able to integrate it more. And I was just trying to think of like, other people that they can look to for these practices to another. Let's see. I'm just looking around to see if I have anything else.

Yeah.

That, that'll be it for now for what I, what I'm thinking of. But I can think of more as we. Yeah, had you off on that one.

Sounds good. This is always interesting to see how we're. We're influencing the relationships that we rely on as we go deep and into our obsessions and passions and the things we nerd out about. So that's why that, that question's there. So yeah, let me know if there's anything else. I could put them in the notes in the podcast afterwards too. So. All right. So kind of starting to bring it all home. If somebody was new to these rituals and ceremonies. So like a beginner, like what would be like one to three things that you would recommend a beginner to do in order to get involved in this space or topic for themselves to improve their life?

I would. First thing is to look at, to play with. To play with the seven steps. Like the seven step Fear of ritual. It's. It can be super basic like I said it can. And again, it's very expandable. So if there's something within those that you're like, oh, that's really fun, then I would say, okay, like hang out that for a while. You know, if you're digging on dedication, like hang out there for a while and just see how you can practice on your daily experience is like dedicating and offering up your heart to, you know, somebody or something or something and see what that does for you. Like practicing it. All of this comes down to really just practicing. And I have a super simple meditation that I created called the May I be Love meditation. And I can attach that for the show notes. And it's super basic. Like it's, it's. Well, it's simple. I'm not going to say it's basic. It's very simple, but it's very deep. But it takes literally, it can take you 30 seconds if you want, like 15 seconds even I'm just spends on like how quickly you can like say the words but. Or think the words. And so that's another super simple practice that somebody can start utilizing. And what that the May I Be Loved meditation does is it helps ground you in your heart space and in love before we do anything else. And it does tap into each of those energy centers as you go through it. And you don't even have to know the energy centers to be able to do it. It will do it by the virtue of you doing it. So that's a little bit of a little piece of magic. And then the other another quick step that would be is. And I'm trying to keep it like really basic for people. So okay, the like. So I call it the five minute peace out. And maybe it's a one minute piece out. So one way to start practicing intention and connecting to breath, which again is our life force. Right. Like without breath we're gone. So it's a good thing to be able to Practice and is even if you have to like, hide yourself in your bathroom or in your car or somewhere if you're getting like, and I would say before you're in the stressed out space, because again, we're building our robustness and we're practicing this before we need it. So practicing it when you are in a nice calm space and just going and literally breathing into your nose, out through your mouth for a couple minutes, maybe 30 seconds, that is all you got. And if you have one word that you really want to bring into your body and life, like if it is love, if it is compassion, if it is abundance, if it is strength, just think of that one word, one word, that's all you need. In and out through the nose, in the nose, out to the mouth and just hang out with it. That's it. Like, that's a super simple practice to be able to do that can very quickly shift your state of consciousness, your state of mindset, your state of gratitude. And then after you know how to do that, which doesn't take you any more than about 30 seconds to go. Okay, I got that. Then that is a very, very, very powerful tool when stuff gets crazy or you feel like you've just got knocked off course, like that practice can save you a lot of trouble and a lot of, like, a lot of issues later. If you can just hang out for 5, 2, 2 minutes, 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 30 seconds and just take a beat.

Right on. I love this, this particular habit. I'm already thinking, how can I incorporate this in my life? Because I know there's times when I want to be more intentional and like, things that I do are like post it notes and stuff. And the risk is like, you're aware of it and then you don't do anything about it. And so nothing changes. And so I'm like, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna definitely use that. Oh, go ahead.

Oh, I was gonna say, I mean like a way to. Okay. Because that, that takes me to like, that brings. That reminds me, like, yes, we can say we're gonna do these things, but as we've been taught, like to be able to incorporate them into action, right? Like you can say all of these things all you want, but if you don't put them into action, they, they fall short. So if somebody wants a simple practice like the 32nd piece out, anytime they get in their car or out of their car, okay, stop for 30 seconds and just go, what's my one word? Okay, I'm going to take like 10 deep breaths that will help you get into a practice. Because the car, the car now is going to be like the positive affirmation trigger, right? Yeah. So.

Oh, I love that.

Yes.

Every time entering or leaving the car, the 30 second, one minute piece out, however long it takes you to do 10. Super simple. Okay, So I love that. And if you're working with someone that is a little bit more experienced or has their own type of rituals, are there some more intermediate or advanced habits or things you might recommend? And this could be like, this question I think really gets people in their head, which I love. I'm not sure if it's entirely applicable to this, but you tell me, like.

Yeah, like, because, yeah, because as we've said, like, this like can be as simple as somebody, you know, wants to make it. And it can also be expanded. And so any of these things, I mean, part of, part of, like trying to create the email sequence explaining the seven steps, part of the challenge for me is to be able to simplify this. Like, you know, simplifying intention, you know, the expression, like how to do it, like, what's, what's the background and how, where does it come from? And all like into like a couple of paragraphs is really wild. I'm a lot better being able to explain it in its expansiveness.

Yeah.

And so, you know, the seven steps, I'd say to create a more advanced version of that. It's not, it's not hard to do that either.

Okay.

And so I give guidelines for each of the things on, you know, on in my information. And it's like, so in the mindfulness step, it says that you can do the May I be love meditation. Well, you could also do your own meditation that you love if you practice transcendental or the release meditation or whatever. Like if you want to take that 30 second meditation and turn into 30 minutes, totally, you can do that. You know, the cleansing step, if you want to. You know, I have like, I make little. I make body scrubs that are scented with different essential oil blends for each of the chakra chakras. You can take that cleansing step and make that an entire like bathing ritual. Like it can be 30 seconds in the shower if you want it. You know, you're scrubbing along and you're thinking your words and you're doing, you know, appreciating your body and giving yourself love. It can be that simple or it can be like it's an entire process for a very specific purpose. And you know, you've got the flower petals and you have your Epsom salts, you've got your big like, you know, you can make it, you can expand and contract any of these as much as you want. So I, I work with people in monthly ceremony in a more expanded version. It's, you know, I work with them in like a three hour ceremony instead of a three minute or 30 second ceremony. So there are ways to, you know, and also like a really simple way to explain expand more. An advanced way, I guess we want to call it that way is really that last step of holding the space and witnessing, challenging yourself on. How intentional and aware can you be throughout the day for what you said you were up to? Like, for what you said you're creating in the world for who it says, you know, for who you're being. Like, what are the ways that you can create that in as many different ways as possible and not as a place of overwhelm, but like, so if I'm focusing on love, the second the, or the fourth chakra is color is green. Like, I can put on a green shirt, I can put on, you know, my Aphrodite necklace, I can put on a green bracelet, or I can put on like my fancy green socks or I can wear something and, and literally every time I look at that, it's going to remind me, oh, I said I was about compassion today, Right? Okay. Every time I eat my salad because it's full of green vegetables, I'd be like, oh, yep, I'm infusing that with love because that's coming into my body and it is going to like circulate all the goodness through me. It is also about like holding the space as a coaching and or therapeutic term. But I think about holding the space of like, we are the container as that coach or therapist or trainer of sorts. We're holding the space for that person to come in to our experience. We're holding it out here. We're not taking it in, we're holding it out here. And as we're holding it, like, we're just, we're being gentle with it, right? We're guiding it, we're holding with love and grace. And then when it's there, we're done working with them, we're like, okay, I release it, it's yours. Carry on with your world. And, and so how do we individually, if you want to be, you know, more advanced about this, how do you take that and you be the container for what it is that you say you're going to be in the world, how do you express that. How are your words showing that? How are your actions showing that? And, like, on the daily. Right, like on the daily.

Yeah.

And how are you interacting with people? How are you being with people? And that, for me, that's really what it's about. It's like it incorporates, again, holistically into our experiences so that we become what we say. We're. We're. We are.

Right.

And that's our expression in the world, is that. And it can shift and it can change and we can dance with it and play with it and try on different colors and different expressions and different ways of being, you know, from day to day. So that's how I would say to the basic, you know, a simple way to kind of. And it's not simple. That is not simple, by the way, especially in today's world. Like.

Yeah.

Saying that you're actually, you know, to hold the container for love and compassion.

Yeah.

Is, you know, that's. That's a big one.

The tough order. Yeah.

And so needed.

And I can't agree more with that. Yeah. And to hold that space and to show up authentically as yourself and have all the different chakras or areas of your life, you know, all the different things that comprise being human aligned towards holding that authentically. I think maybe is another way to say what I think you're getting at. That's how I'm interpreting. And you're shaking your head. Yes. So if you're listening, I think that's.

It's an affirmative. Yes, it's an affirmative.

It's on the right track. So. Okay. I love. So, yeah. So taking your rituals to the next level, it's just figuring out your authentic self and living. It's tuning everything to live more into it is what I'm getting.

Yeah. That's a great way to put it.

So for sure. Cool.

Yeah.

So, all right, then. Last question before we start wrapping up is do you, like. Since this is the meaningful revolution, we're thinking about adding meaning. Do you have any rituals or any habits or any processes or things that help you keep on purpose to your mission every day, every week or every month? I like to end with that.

Yeah. I would say. That any of that. Any. Anything that we've talked about, if there is something that, you know, for my. Okay, so I'll say it for that for your people listening and then also for me. So if there's anything that we've discussed today and chatted about today that really lights you up or you're like, oh, that sounds really cool. Or I want to learn more about that, or I want to practice that and see what happens. Like, jump on it. Right. Like, start filling your heart with that, like, right now. And because again, it can be simple. It can be more complicated, you know, more. More complex. It's not complicated, but complex. Yeah. And then also, like, for my own self, it really is. Like, it's. It's. I bring it to, like, I bring it very intentionally into my existence sense. I get into my awareness. And I know we started with that and we've said it a million times throughout this conversation, but it really is about bringing, like, we have to be aware of it. If we're not aware of it, then, like, then it's nothing. Right. And so. Creating my life in a way where I have consistent, constant reminders. And because, you know, I need them to write, like, I need those reminders. I need that consistent. I need the consistent reminders for the action that I am creating. And so, you know, so I practice these things regularly, every day. Like, sometimes I really, really focus on one thing versus another thing, but I really do, you know, it has to be an awareness first. I mean, without, like. Yeah, beating it over and over again. But, I mean, I do. I mean, if you saw my office, like, I mean, I really. I've. I've taken to getting, like, the chalk markers and writing, you know, the things that I'm up to on my window. So as I'm sitting here in my office in my studio and I'm looking out my window, not only am I seeing, like, the beautiful trees and the birds and all of the fun things, the mountains, I'm also seeing, like, all of the things, like, that I am about. Right. Like, my intentions, my. Like, my things that I am doing I have on there right now from our conversation earlier in the week or last week. Be willing to bet on myself. I have that on my window right now. I have it, you know, Like, I have other stuff in my. In my bathroom. So, again, like, creating your world where, like, there's a willingness to step into it and the ability to then create it. So, again, I mean, my bathroom may look a little wild. People might kind of question me coming into my bathroom and being like, why do you have us on written on your mirrors? I'm like, because that's what I say I'm up to, and I need the reminder. You know, it's like, so it's. Again, it's like, it's the awareness. It's as much or as little as you want, and the willingness Right. The willingness to be, to become aware of these things and seeing what lights you up, seeing what doesn't really light you up. And practicing consistently more often than not, the things that really light you up. And that'll open up the door to all kinds of other things that are amazing for you.

Right on. So I, I love that, I love the reminders everywhere. Even if you kind of like are beautiful minding it, maybe, you know, that's totally cool. You know, I love that ending on that question. Because everyone has their own little habits. So if your habit doesn't isn't a beautiful mind like thing, you know, Check some of the other podcasts as you know, before we wrap up. As we were talking about today, is there one thing that really stuck with you through the conversation that you really love, that you really thought highlighted the best of the conversation as we move on to the rest of the day?

I think just really what I just said, I mean as far as like a takeaway that I would want people to take is, Is really like for me healing is one of our primary goals on the, on this like in this lifetime and to be able to. And why it's important is because I believe that the more that we can clean up our own, I call it cleaning up our own side of the street, the more I can clean up my own side of the street, the more it allows and gives permission for other people to do so as well. And when we can do that in the space of love, in fact I think it does have to happen in the space of love. But when that can happen in the space of love, then what we are creating is more and more beauty, more and more love in the world, more and more compassion in the world and you know, ground like being able to have practices to be able to ground into and with love and that heart centered space is of utmost importance and I think is one of the ways that we can change the world for the better. And so for me it's, it is a gift and an offering like you know, my, the seven step ritual really is a gift and an offering from my heart to whomever wants to use it because it comes as a healing practice from that space of that heart centered in love and compassion place. And the world needs a lot of that. It always has, it always will. And so like I'm happy I get to be a part of that.

Right on. And I'm happy you get to be a part of it too. I know you do a lot of really good work and you've helped Me along the years. So, Nicole, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I just love this talk about ritual and it's helped. I've had a ton of notes from our conversation. I'll probably go back and listen to this again, pick up some new ideas and things and I'm really excited. So is there any way people should reach out to you if they wanted to check out your seven step process? Is there something they can look up? Where can they find you on social, that kind of stuff?

Yep. My social is on Instagram and it's Fierce Love Life and seven steps are on there. All the goodies are on. Lots of goodies are on there. More goodies are coming daily and then the same website, fiercelovelife.com will be coming shortly. It's being, it's being newly created right now, so I don't know when this is going to air, but for sure on Insta you can always DM me, reach out to me and I will always get back to you. So.

Excellent. So, all right, yeah, I'll have those. The link to your website, hopefully if it's up by the time it should launch, probably at the end of July. So whenever you're listening this, just know we recorded it before then. And so I have. Yeah, I'll have those links and how to reach you again. Thank you so much. This is so much fun and hope to talk with you soon.

Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity. Sean, you're doing great work. I love this podcast and I can't wait for all the other episodes to jump in there. So, yes, thank you and thank you for the amazing, beautiful person that you are and the great influence you've been in my life too.

Thanks.

Thank you.

All right. I loved that conversation with Nicole and as you'll find out after this episode, we have a bonus episode or bonus. Yeah. Episode of just talking about how to approach apply rituals in a very tumultuous world. So that's added for you right after this. Go listen to it. It's really, really impactful and great. If you'd love to learn more about Nicole Sugihara, you can check her out online. The links are in the show notes below and Instagram accounts and all that good stuff. So what we learned today on three things to really kick kickstart your ritual is to remember one, to implement and practice the seven steps that she talked about. You know, intention, anointing, dedicating, mindfulness, movement, cleansing, and then holding space. So we want to really be practicing that. We want a five minute meditation each day and then we want to do that five minute peace out where we just find our piece in our center. So if you would like to help out enjoying the meaningful revolution, please go to Apple Podcasts. Subscribe and make sure you add a comment or download an episode that speaks to you. That really helps us get the word out. That really helps me. If you want to learn more about your host Sean, you can go to www.sean coach that's s a jwn coach to learn more about his coaching programs and personal development and updates and all that kind of good stuff. So on the next episode you'll see is the bonus one from Nicole where we talk about that applied stuff like I mentioned before. After that we got my good friend James Holgren who will be talking about teaching, his passion for teaching having done it for 17 years. He's one of my oldest friends and of course I love that conversation. I know you will too. So we'll see you there, guys. Take care.