The True You Revolution with Mim Abbey

I believe in not just, you know, a really great resume or a really great application or a really great interview. I believe in becoming the right person for that next role. Becoming the right person for that next role.

If you could start a meaningful revolution in the world right now, or you're living one right now, what would you call it? What are the components of it? And could you tell us all a little bit about what that means for you?

I would say the meaningful revolution would be called the true you revolution. When you're in a really tense situation, and it's typically a situation where you would say something to someone you wish you hadn't said, or you'd kind of fly off the handle, or you'd get super tense if you found yourself being able to stop yourself and you didn't say that thing or pause and go, you know what? I don't need to get so wound up about this. You probably just touched your. Your true self because that's your wiser voice saying, you know what? Don't say that thing. Not a good moment for that.

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the Meaningful Revolution podcast. The podcast where we hope to inspire you to live into what you find fulfilling and meaningful in your life. And I'm your host, Sean Butner, certified high performance coach. And today's guest is an established leader in the fields of both professional and personal development. With more than 20 years of experience helping people and companies become more effective and reach their personal, professional, and strategic and relationship goals. She brings an unmatched depth of expertise that combines her with her authentic approach and dynamic delivery to equip people with the tools that they need. So as a result of her speaking, workshops, coaching, or virtual work, people and teams are ready to take on their next steps plus maintain the necessary momentum to achieve and exceed their targets. And she has expertise helping Fortune 500 companies across the globe grow, including Asia, Europe and the Middle East, Africa, north, you know, all the continents, you know, working with companies like Yahoo, Microsoft, Cisco, Bloomberg, Pfizer, Goldman Sachs, kkr, JP Morgan, Tiffany, and so much more. It is my distinct pleasure to welcome my friend Mim Abby to the podcast. Mim, welcome.

Thank you, Sean. Such a pleasure to be with you today.

Right on. So today's topic, we're talking about how to get promoted, essentially, but it's part of your larger soul of success brand. So I've been asking this new question to start off the podcast. If you could start a meaningful revolution in the world right now, or you're living one right now, what would you call it? What Are the components of it. And could you tell us all a little bit about what that means for you?

Gosh, what a great question, Shawn. We certainly are in a world where we need some meaningful, meaningful revolutions that advance us personally, that advance our world. So, yeah, I'd love to jump on that wagon. What comes to mind for me, first, the thing that has been driving me for the last several years now as my career has unfolded, and that it's taken twists and turns, as many people's do, but. But it comes out of a conversation I had with a client some years ago. And I'll cut to the chase and say, I would say the meaningful revolution would be called the true you revolution. And the strong statement I would make about that, and then I'll tell you that quick story is that in my observation and in my experience, you've heard I do this. This work all over the world. So in a lot of different countries and a lot of different individuals and. And groups, large companies. And of course, what I really care about is down at that individual level, us as. Us as people. What I've observed is that we get triggered as human beings all the time. Stuff pushes us, pushes us out of our comfort zone. That's a good thing. But it also brings up these triggers and people will argue, people will disagree. Stuff. Stuff just comes up that can make us crazy. And what happens is unbidden, without our realizing it. We downshift typically from this part of our brain that is logical and makes good decisions, and we downshift from that part of our brain down to the part of the brain that just. We go into fight mode. We go into, well, fight or flight mode. And that's a survival instinct. So it's not bad. It's good to have survival instincts. It's just that we tend to take our survival instincts to our important relationships. We tend to take our survival instincts to our important projects and pursuits. And it's just again, survival is an important thing. But when you're having to make delicate decisions about projects and about a direction to take and about a sensitive conversation with someone who's important to you in your personal life or in your professional life, if you just bring your survival instincts to those situations, it causes trouble. And so really, when we downshift away from what I'm just. What I'm going to call in many ways the true self, the true you, the part of you that's wise, the part of you that can take a step back and is more objective, the part of you that it's like that deeper knowing part of you, and there's more to it. There's certain parts of the brain that are, that, that are associated with it. But, but all that to say if, if, if we could, as individuals and then larger, just as people on planet Earth, if we could all spend more time making decisions and interacting with situations and with people from our true self and not what I call the starter self, the, the, the more reactive self, it'd be a better world. We'd be happier people, maybe healthier people. And it came out of. Sean, if I may, it just, it came out of a conversation with a client. And I was, I was coaching this team on, here's how you deal with someone who's being very reactive with you, and here's how you help them to. Without them knowing you're not patronizing them. But it's. Here's how you help them to move out of that reactive place so that the two of you can really have a good productive discussion. And this gentleman said, he said, okay, I, this is great. This is a really, it's. It is a powerful process. It's a powerful process for how to communicate with someone who's in that reactive brain. But he said, like, what do I do with myself? Because I get triggered. So I'm in my react. I'm in that brain. So how do I deal with myself? And it's a really good, really good question. And so I developed a body of material around that for how do we, how do we just be our truest best selves most of the time, as opposed to just a little bit of the time which so many of us are. This is a long answer to your question, so totally.

And I love the true you revolution of. I mean, as high performance coaches, we're always trying to get people to be in their, their best selves.

Yeah.

Excuse me. And you know, operating in that mode really is about that lifestyle of living with joy, a sense of relaxation, a sense of vibrancy in life, which is so, so powerful. So, yeah, I love it. And your story on how it got kicked off that conversation was pretty awesome too. But I'm curious now if you could tell us a time maybe when you were in your starter self and then you figured your way that, oh, there has to be a better way, and maybe finding your true self, maybe in an earlier moment when that wasn't as accessible to you, or maybe it was always, and that's your superpower. However that goes for you. But how does that resonate?

Yeah. Yeah. Great, great. Thank you so much for asking that. It's so true. I mean, I've had. The reason this is such a passion for me is I lived so much of my life in reactive mode and in, I'm going to say stress mode and in even fear mode. I mean, I'm a professional speaker and I've been a professional speaker for many, many years and you know, coaching people. And earlier in my career, I was aware how incredibly stressed I would get any time I spoke in front of a group of people and I spoke in front of a, of people several times a week. I mean, this is, this is my, this is my job. And I remember being aware then, wow, this is a really good job for me because it's, it's, it's forcing me, it's pushing me to learn, to learn to do this. But what I will say is that I, that was the hard way, just, just forcing myself, Forcing myself. And I really do believe, and the more we put ourselves out there, we build our confidence, we build our competence. So that's all good stuff. It's just if I had had the tools earlier, the tools earlier to. In the moment, if you're feeling like, ooh, like here's what I, here's what I'll. And I'll get around to answering your question. Like, what I'll do now is I'll, I'll really be aware. I'll go, wow, I'm about to be in this high pressure situation and I can just, I can feel in my body that I'm feeling small, I'm feeling scared, I'm feeling like I don't know that I'm up to this. And, and because I've used the tools over and over and over again, it's just like, take a deep breath, ask myself, who am I being right now? Am I being my starter self or am I being my true self? And I really do mean the true self. It's like, I believe it's always been there. It's just been waiting for, for when, for when I was ready for yours is, was waiting for when you're ready. But I'm able to quickly access it now. So I would say when I started to become aware of that, there was another option. I developed a little process for myself and the process starts and I've developed it into something I work clients. But the very first step in the process is stop. Is stop. Because what's happening, you know, is you, you're on a, you're on a track and there's a lot of selft talk that is, that is associated with it. So in that situation, the track might be, I've got this high pressure presentation to give and, you know, am I going to be able to hold it together in a maybe stressful, know, relationship situation? The self talk actually might be directed at the other person. Ah, you know, she's so selfish. Or he, you know, he, he doesn't know what he's talking about or like, the judgments will start flying. So whether the judgments are to myself, whether the judgments are to other people. So earlier, earlier on, when I started become aware, hey, there's another, there's another me that can handle this a whole lot better than I can. It was really a matter of start. Like that first is just like, stop, ooh, stop that thought train. And it's really helpful. You stop and you take a deep breath and you're able to look and go, oh, look at where I was going. And when you can get that little bit of a space, a little bit of a distance to look at yourself and go, you kind of step outside yourself. It's like that wiser self really kicks in. That true self just kicks in and says, oh, look, I'm going down that track. I'm getting caught on that track. And that, I mean, sometimes that is all you need. You go, oh, and I have another option available to me. So just at least with that, stop breathing as part of that. And then the next thing would be just observing, observing yourself, observing your, your, your, your reactivity, observing how you're, how you're triggered.

Right on. Yeah. It's so simple. Stop, breathe, observe. You know, it's basically, I feel like so much personal development is based around content that's you could boil down into stop, breathe, observe.

Isn't it so well said, Sean? Yeah, it's true. And in the, in, in the soul of success, in our content, one thing that we do all the time is called soul practice. Soul practice. And it has to do with getting you back in that right brain in the correct, not the right versus left brain, but the, but your best brain. That is, that really is the seat of your true self. And that helps you to be making decisions you want to make and interacting and behaving and just, just experiencing life in, in the most productive way. So a lot of soul practice.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

So I, I'm curious, as you know, we were talking a little bit before the call about you had your soul success. You have a new thing that we'll talk about soon, you know, to kind of tease it for the audience.

Right now.

And we talked about starting out the true you revolution. And I absolutely love. I guess I knowing you for a while, I see how all this is connected. I'm curious, so you're talking about how you love to help people get promoted. Can you share like maybe a little bit more about. I'm guessing your work experience had a little bit to do with that. Like how do you, how did you stumble into that part of this, this work? Maybe you didn't stumble. It's probably with a lot more intention. You know, words do matter. But could you explain maybe your journey, I guess getting to here and now, helping people, individuals with their getting promoted at work or leveling up their career?

Yeah. Oh no, it's great. And Sean, by the way, stumbling, I really, I have look, I look back at my career and go, wow, I really stumbled into this. Into this, into this. And I do believe that, that we take action on things that matter to us and we learn things and doors open. We learn things and doors open. We learn things and doors open. And that's how. So I do feel like there is some really kind of, I would say blessed stumbling that happens along the way. Yeah, you know, a couple things happened for me. So I've been. Yeah, I mean, honestly, it's been like 30 years doing what I do, but I. And it's grown and changed. But in essence I've been. I mean I really started my career, career in. In the corporate world in a learning and development capacity and helping people to be more effective and more successful in their. In their roles. And that, that, that entail. I was in the computer industry and I ran an internal university. So I managed that internal university and I. There were technical programs that people would go through. There were communication and leadership and management programs. I would teach those program. So I really come out of the corporate sphere and a couple things happen with me along the way. Number one, I'll just say with the. The soul of success brand was grown out of that experience because, Because I, I did, I did my corporate experience like flat out. Like, I just, I, I didn't take lunch. I just worked and worked and worked and because, you know, my parents taught me it's like strong work ethic. So which is a good thing. But ultimately I can totally burn myself out. It was, it was just. I didn't do it the smart way. And so Sola success was born out of, you know, there's. You definitely want to, you want to go to the heights, the highest heights you can go professionally. And you also want to have a great time personally doing it. So that's where the soul of success mountain was born. It's the three level mountain and there's the life areas of thriving and then on top of that is the relationship areas of connecting and at the top is the professional area of achieving and has to do with purpose and meaningful purpose, et cetera. So there's the path that goes up the mountain with all the success principles, etc. So that came out of me just like working like a crazy person and needing to, needing to. And like my body started breaking down all sorts of, you know, it's like, okay, that's way too many aches and pains going on. This is not just, just my feet and just my jaw and just my hands. It's like something systemic. And the systemic thing was just my inner approach. So, so, so that was going on and that's how solo success was born. And love helping people with their life, life, whole life professional and personal success. Then as, as part of that, there I am in these. So. So now you've asked me about the career accelerator, which is, which is a.

Yeah, before you go. I have maybe an interesting connection here for this part of the story. So yeah, we talked about living your true evolution. You talk about, you know, being taught to be a hard worker. And I think, you know, I like that was my parents growing up is you work hard, you give it y everything 100% and then you ended up burning out because of that process. So if you're trying to live your authentic self and your authentic self, here's the question. Was your authentic self the workaholic, you know, burn the candle at both ends person, or was that the starter self that wasn't. Hadn't realized there was a higher way of doing things.

Yeah, yeah, right on. And it is the starter self. So, so the way I define the starter self is. And the starter self, you know, you gotta love your starter self. And I mean it like love and respect and gratitude and appreciation because your starter self came into the world and said, oh, okay. So. So like for me, I'm the youngest of four, so I came in and there was already a whole set set. Like things were already set. The family had the this is the way we do things, etc. So I kind of got that. Pretty, pretty. I had my own ideas, but they, I kind of got, you know, it kind of got hammered into me. It's like, no, this is the way the Abby family does things. So I, I like learning those things. And so that, that wasn't Necessarily my true self, but my starter self went well, if I'm going to survive in this family, I'm gonna, I'm gonna learn to do it that way because that's what's acceptable and approved of, etc. So it's just things like that. Like you just learn the starter self is the one that's scrappy and figures out how to stay alive through your, through your aughts and through your teens, etc. And it's just the issue is if for most, I'm just gonna, I am gonna say most people because we don't think about this. You know, you're, you're, you're in your third job and you still are operating from your starter self, which will tend to be reactive and adaptive and not deeply in touch with, just with, with, with the truest. And I'm going to say wisest. I'm not talking about selfishness, I'm talking about everyone's got their inner wisdom. We really do. We have that higher voice and are we listening to it? So that's, yeah, that, that, that, you know, I got to do it this way. I mean I was really taught on my parents, pick yourself up by your bootstraps, stiff upper lip, you know, sounds like you were too, Sean. So you, you know, you know what that's like. And yeah, there's a, it's like that wiser self knows I can still achieve a lot professionally. Like I can go to the heights and I can also have a, have a life and I can also do, do it in a way that is sustainable and takes care of myself. And I, I was not, you know, bless my parents, they, they weren't taught to, you know, they came out of depression era families and so they weren't taught to take good care of themselves. They were taught just really survival. So. Yes. Yeah.

But that's awesome. And I hope I forgot to, I always forget to tell people grab some notes to, to take notes. I have a pitch notes here and I, I brought that question up because I, I feel sometimes we trick ourselves into thinking we're being authentic when we're hurting ourselves. It's kind of, I know I've had that in my career where I would, anytime anyone asked me to do anything, I'd say yes. And then I'm stressed out because I never got any of my projects done. I feel like I'm not enough. I feel like I'm not keeping up, I'm not getting ahead of things.

Yeah.

And you know, so it, it's really tricky to know when you're operating from that, that elevated version. So I just wanted to make that point. And you so elegant, eloquently like shared that and I think the key word is sustainable. Right. You're not really going to be able to work at, as hard as you possibly can if you can't get out of bed because you destroyed your body or you're miserable because you don't have anyone to talk to because nobody knows you're around because you're working so much. And that's, it's really two heavy hitting things that I see in my like coaching practice. But I wanted to just call that out so it's really good.

And, and Sean, by the way, I totally relate to that. Just like doing everything for like, because you want to be a kind and generous person. I mean that's, that's part of your, you know, personal, personal ethic. It's just, and, and so I, I, I didn't have the, my starter self was like, oh, you just gotta say yes to everything. And so it's like, oh, have you read, ever read, you know, boundaries Codependent? No more anyway. But, but you know, the, the higher self and the, and the wise self knows like, you know what, you got to say no to this so that you can keep saying a larger yes to those who ultimately depend on you, you know, personal or professional life. So yeah, it's doing some of those tough things.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

So, okay, so we were, so you did the sole success in response to this phase of burnout and really like pushing hard and reevaluating and elevating. So take us, you know, forward from this part of your story.

Oh yeah. You know, I, so I, this work that I do in organizations, in inside of companies, it is truly, I mean there's a reason why I keep coming back and I keep doing it and I keep, you know, I went from communication and leadership coaching and branched out then into sales and business development. And I still do of course the leadership piece. But, but the thing that, that they all have in common is they help people grow in their careers. They help people get to the, get to the next level. And I, I looked around because I, I've worked in big companies. You named some of them that have these extensive programs that, and some of them are better than others that teach people some important things that are going to help them grow in their careers. But a lot of companies don't, a lot of companies don't have that or the stuff that they do have internally, the training and the Growth opportunities. I mean, I've gotten, I've gotten earfuls and earfuls and earfuls from clients saying, wow, most of the stuff that are, that's offered in house, it's not helping me to get to the next level. So I realized, you know, there I am, I'm working all over the world. I'm working with leaders. I'm seeing what got leaders promoted. And I'm seeing the thing, I'm behind these closed doors where they're talking about what are these promotable qualities and what aren't. And somehow there's a disconnect. I mean, people I've had employees say to me, well, I want to get promoted, my boss is going to help me. Right? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Anyway, all that to say what I never found was a really comprehensive set and a really good, good, like a right on set of here's the tools, here's the skills, here's the qualities, here's the process to, to get you that next level, get you that substantial raise or get you that promotion. And so I saw that as something that was missing. And, and I, and I really have a heart. I do have a, My, you know, I love my work with organizations, but my, My heart is, is really with, with, with the person, with the individual. And so I, I decided I'm, I know the process because I see how it's working for the, for the leaders who are getting promoted. So I created this process and I thought, I want to take this to people who might not get it. They're not going to get it inside their company for whatever reason. Either there's not that level of training or the training isn't great, that, that. And that happens, or the boss isn't helping them for whatever reason. Reason. And so, yeah, so I put, I put together. So I got the process that I've seen work and I am so excited about, and I put it together in a program. It's called the Career Accelerator. And it's a, It's a coaching program that I personally walk people through. And so it is tailored, it is customized to each individual. But it's a, It's a lot. I mean, if yours. And if you've got, if you know people, Sean, who are serious about getting that promotion and they're ready to put in the work and work with me, you know, I don't bite. So I'm, I love, love helping people be successful and I've, I've stubbed my toe and I've made the errors and the mistakes and you know, my most embarrassing moments and, and all of that. I totally been there. And so, you know, I've seen it all and I've done it all, probably. So that's what that program is. Yeah. And it's. You're gonna love this. The, the process is actually called the raise process, and it's, it's, it's an acronym, but it just sort of appeared because those are, these are the steps that you got to take in order to get a promotion. And the other thing I'd say is, it's just. If I, If I may just. Sean, I'd see, like, people would try to get a promotion and they would do it by like, okay, I'm just going to, you know, I'm going to work the resume or I'm going to, you know, in a big company, maybe I'm going to. I'm going to post for this job. There's job posting, so I'm going to post for. For. For this job. And it's, it's like, those are, those are great, and those have to be done. They're just, they're just tactics. And so with the career accelerator, we go a lot deeper than tactics so that you just don't leave any stone unturned and making sure that you're the one. You're. You're the one.

Right on.

Yeah.

So I guess the first question that pops in my head, in your extensive experience, what types of things generally cause people to stumble when they're going for that new position or that next position or that level up? Because I'm thinking about the advice I was given and my career in tech. I had some good advice, but I'm curious, like, you know, what. Where do people stumble or struggle or just don't know what they don't know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really good. You know, it. There's a. There's. There's a variety of areas, which is why the, the program is, is. Covers. Covers all these areas. Like, one I would say is, you know, there's this thing going around right now, Sean, where there's a lot I've seen on social and I've seen out there, which is about just like, just sort of do. Do your job, do your job and don't do anymore. And it's, you know, don't be used by your company. Just do your job and, you know, go that extra mile because then they're just, you know, they're, they're getting all this good stuff out of you and you're not being rewarded for it. And I would say that's. You want to, you want to run away from that, folks. You, you want to. I would say to your audience, Sean, you want to, you want to go that opposite direction. You want to set yourself apart. You want to. It's, it's again, getting down to the human level if, if we don't bring, and I'm not talking about getting walked all over big part of that we talk about in the program is confidence and then bringing your, your bravery, your boldness and your confidence to the process. So there's a. You don't want to get stepped on and yet you want to bring it really. Again, it has to do with your ethic. You want to bring this. I'm going to say, you know, personal generosity to the prayer. You want to lead with generosity and, and in general, the energy you bring to thing. I really believe the energy you bring to things comes back to you. So if you bring a. I'm just going to do what's required and nothing else until they do, until they make a move to give me more or something. I, I, it's going to be a while until they make the move to give you more. So you really want to distinguish yourself with your generosity of how could you go the extra mile? So one of the things that we talk about, I've got this really, this little innovation incubator built into the program. Where are you? Somebody who is looking out for ways that, whether it's just taking initiative to be helpful or even creating innovations that are going to, it's above and beyond your what, what you're doing. But sometimes it doesn't take very long to just look under the surface and find something that, huh, here's something that I could make a case for and a way that we could streamline processes. We could make the department run a little run, run more smoothly and make my boss's life easier. So that's one. I would say don't get caught up. Everyone in the, in the, this sort of fad right now of just do what's required and don't do anything more until they promise they're going to give you something more. Say you take that first step of generosity.

Right?

So that's, yeah, that's one. Yeah. Yeah.

I think they call it quiet quitting. Right?

Isn't that the, they call it quiet quitting. It's just terrible. It is this thing. Yeah, it is this thing right now. And yeah, obviously you've, you're, you're familiar with it too, Sean. So I would say you Know, be that person. And, and, and one, I, I work within. One of the groups I consult with is a, the, an accounting group, a financial analyst and accounting group within a major, major company. And they, these employees there, you know, a few, couple or just a couple or three years in and they come maybe from these public accounting firms and maybe there's this sort of, you've been here for two years and you automatically get a promotion. There's this automatic expectation and it's just for most companies, it's not that it's not that way. It really is merit based and so you want to distinguish. It's not, I've been here this amount of times, so I get the big raise or so I get the promotion. It's hey you. And I've, I've had these, I have had leaders in this company say please, please help our, help the teams understand this, that it's up to them, they gotta, they gotta step up. And it's. You know what, that's exciting. I mean it's a, it, you know what it comes down to, Sean, I really believe this, that as you, as people grow in their careers, it's yes, it's about the money because this is a, this is a weird time for our economy and you've got to be making more money for, for yourself and for your family because otherwise you're going backwards because you know, prices are so high. So it is in a sense about the money, the status. That's a good thing. I mean you've, you've earned this thing. But really ultimately, and I'm so deeply believe this is. As you go on the journey to get to that next level, the journey you go through, at least that we go through with, with career accelerator, you actually become a better person. And that's the most important thing. It's like the gosh, the money and the status and all that stuff, it's like the icing on the cake. You, you, you're you, your life gets better. Not just because of the paycheck and not just because of the new title. Your life gets better because guess what, you got better in the process. It's actually quite exciting. So that's another ad I'd say that I really, really believe in Growth is. Growth is about the. It's. Yes. It's not just the external stuff. Is the icing on the cake?

Definitely, definitely. On those lines of beliefs and mindsets, is there a belief that you have that other people in a similar position or that help people advance in their career so that maybe Other career coaches or I'm not sure what the right. I mean I always hate giving people buckets, but I'm just trying to find a point of reference. But your peers, what kind of mindset or belief do you have that others don't?

Oh, wow. You know what? I would, yeah, I would link that to that last bit we just talked about. About really what you get out of the process. Because I, my, the, I mean in, in the raise process and in the career accelerator. Yeah, you're, I mean we are going to work on your resume, we're going to work on your LinkedIn, we're going to work on your interview skills. Like all that is within there. But those are kind of the tactics that lay on top of. What I really believe is it's not about the tactics, it's about the strategy and the strategy that I have people and we do it pretty quickly. It's 90 day process. So, so what I'm about, I say that just because what I'm about to say, I don't want people to feel like, oh my gosh, that's going to take forever. Doesn't take forever. It's. It's a matter of if you're motivated to adopt certain things. And this is the thing that I believe does set it apart. I believe in not just, you know, a really great resume or a really great application or really great interview. I believe in becoming the right person for that next role. Becoming the right person for that next role. So it really, I mean I've baked in, we baked into the, this why we baked into the program. All these things that I have seen, I've coached people to. And then I've also seen people get, get promoted from. And it has to do with that, you know, crafting that innovation. It has to do with how they're showing up in meetings. I know people who are showing up in meetings and they're scared because it's with their boss's boss's boss. I mean it's with some pretty major heavy hitters and it's like I'm gonna open my mouth and you know, make a, make a fool of myself here. So, so there's how to speak up in compelling ways in high level meetings like that and like how to, how to make a case for something. It's how to deal with pushback and resistance. It's how to deal with tough. You know what, what about if your boss isn't a big fan of yours? How do you still go around that and get. So it's really in depth. It's, that's what I say. It's, it's, it's comprehensive. And what happens is you adopt these things. You start practicing these things. It doesn't, it doesn't take long. You actually, we talk about your reputation quite a bit in the program. And one of the things is literally within three weeks, four weeks. I mean, you're, you're, you have a different reputation in your company because people are seeing you show up in different ways. So there's, that's what I believe. It's not about doing the tactics, although the tactics are included. It's really about more than that. And it's about becoming and being the only candidate for that, for that role, for that next role.

Right on. Right on. So let's see what the next best question might be. So could you talk about maybe some influences you pulled on this topic? So as you came together with the program, as you progressed and kind of figured this out, who are the leaders in this field, other than yourself, that you looked up to or found inspiration from or are like, I'm going to borrow, steal, utilize that little bit. And my work.

You know, I'd say it's really, Gosh, it's really. Over the years, and it's more like corporate. Like, when I've been in companies, like, for example, I've developed a. So there's not a name behind this. I've developed a. Like, what do you do when people don't like your idea? Like, how do you deal with still being strong and assertive, but not combative? So how do you deal with. Or there's conflict with somebody. So how do you maintain your gravitas without being combative? But you also. So like fight or flight. You don't fight and you don't flee. What's that? Door number three. So I, So I coach people in that. And that's. I, Gosh, I've seen all the models within, within corporations. I, you know, I've been through it all. And so I've, I've pulled the best of the best. So there's not really a name behind that. So a lot of my stuff is from this, from over the years. Like, who do I listen to? Gosh, I listen to Brendan Burchard. I, you know, I love. He's. His emphasis on growth. It's like the old saying, progress, not perfection. And I come from a perfectionist background and, you know, it's gotta be perfect. And you know, it's like, that's such a, it's such a bust. Nothing is perfect. And so that's been a learning process for me along the way and for some of my clients. So, yeah, so I'll listen to Brendan and then I'll read. Like, when I think about a lot of coaching that I do with people is really around communication and messaging, and so a favorite made to stick with Chip and Dan Heath. Love that. There's so much in that. I'm actually looking over at my bookshelf here in my, in my home office. Brain rules by Dr. John Medina, just how the brain works in terms of. And these have to do with creating, you know, messaging and how to, how to, how to get it out there. So those are, those are some of the names that I follow. I love listening to Ed Bylet. That's such a great podcast and all the people he has on, I typically will learn something for, with his questions. So those were just maybe some of the, Some of the people.

Right on. Yeah. I mean, Brandon seems to come up nearly every time, so.

Yeah. Yeah. It's got a lot of. A lot of wisdom, isn't he?

Yeah, a lot. Yeah. A lot of good, inspiring things, too.

Yeah.

And of course, he's the guy who made the high performance coaching curriculum we both follow.

Yeah.

All right. I'm not sure if you do that in your programs. I follow. I can vouch for that.

Yeah. I, I, Yep. I have got my own program. I know that the certified high performance coaching is fantastic. I have had my own thing for, you know, coming out of the corporate world for, for a long time that I use now for people with work or for personal, so.

Right on. Super, super cool. So next best question. All right, this, this is. I've been asking this one. It's been interesting. Is there something you could share on the podcast that you haven't shared on stage or on another interview or podcast or any of your content tent? So just something new that, that people don't know.

I'm thinking, Sean, I think you might have stoked me here.

That means it's working. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I think I'm, I'm. I'm putting it all. I'm putting it all out there. Yeah. Let me run that in the back of my mind. And if something comes up and Sean, you're just talking about something for, like, anything I haven't shared or something new I have going on that I haven't shared.

Just anything.

Yeah.

You know, hopefully it relates to, you know, living your meaningful revolution of the true self or the true you revolution, but it could be anything related to your products or story. War stories from figuring out this process to help people or anything like that.

Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, I mean, I guess I would say with the true you thing, it's. It's really. I found it insidious because I, it's not like I, I mean, I, like from a larger perspective, I am an extrovert and I'm a communicator. I always have been. And so look at the field I'm in. I help people learn how to communicate better as part of what I do. And I, you know, and I'm a speaker. It's like. So I. And I, I mean, I, you know, stumbling into our careers, I. I fell into this career in corporate learning and development, which I'm now, you know, I'm not inside anymore. I'm this external consultant but. And coach. But I mean, I fell into that when I was 22 and they read out of. Right out of school. So, I mean, I got on a really right path for who I am. So you could say, oh, well, she was being our true self. So it's. But I, But I, I wasn't, you know, underneath I was judgmental of myself. Underneath, I was like, I was. I. I was kind of hiding my light, so to speak. I was, you know, bringing my serious professional self to my serious professional role. And my sort of. My naturally expressive self just. Just kind of, kind of went away. And, And a lot of the joy that I, That I could have been experiencing, a lot of. A lot of the inner freedom I could have been experiencing, I wasn't because I really wasn't listening to that wise self, to that. To that true, true self. I was just kind of following those marching orders that that starter self learned. So I would say, I would. What I would say to people is just to beware of that. Like, like, if you're wondering, am I following my starter self, am I listening to my. To my true self? I mean, just get quiet sometime. If you meditate, you know, ask that question in your, in your. In your meditation, see if you can listen for that again, that higher self, that high, higher voice. And you know, if you've got a higher power that you, that you talk with, I mean, ask. Ask your higher power for help in. In this. If you've been what I. What I. Here. Here's a quick way to know. Are you. Are you. You know, are you accessing your true self is when you're in a really. And it's typically a situation where you would say something to someone you wish you hadn't said. Or you'd kind of fly off the handle or you'd get super tense if you found yourself being able to stop yourself and you didn't say that thing or pause and go, you know what? I don't need to get so wound up about this. You probably just touched your, your true self because that's your wiser voice saying, you know what? Don't say that thing. Not a good moment for that. Or, you know what? You don't need to go on this, you know, on this inner journey of tension here. You, you, you can stop right now and. Because there's nothing you can do about this maybe, or let it go, or if you're going to do something about it, you got to have a calmer brain to do it. You probably touched your, your true self. So that's, that's a way to think about it and to access it in regular life. But I, I would, I would say, hey, get out. Take a walk. Get out in nature, Close your eyes. You know, not maybe when you're walking, but, you know, at some point and just get quiet and, and, and listen for it. Don't necessarily think, oh, because I'm sort of following what I. Seems like the right career for me, like I did. I must be listening to my. Because I really, I really wasn't mostly touching base with my true self. Right.

Excuse me. I love that because part of what I've found this podcast, as I'm stumbling through this process of making the best podcast I possibly can. One of the things ideas I think that has come up has been to create a life that you've designed and not that's been, and not live a life that's been designed for you. And I think it's a different way to say exactly what you're saying. You can't be your authentic self if you're following a path that your parents laid for you, your job laid for you, society laid for you, culture laid for you, friends, family, teachers, all those types of things. And really, there's some comfort in knowing the direction, but the work is to figure out which paths you want to be on in life. So, yeah, I definitely hear that in your story, and I want to recognize that in your story of, oh, yeah, there's a different way, there's a better way, there's something a little bit more my truth that I can show up as. So that's pretty amazing.

Yeah.

So if we were to maybe speak in general, if somebody was trying to level up their career in an organization, or as a business owner, and they're just getting started in that process. What would be like two or three starting strategies, starting habits, starting things that could help get them in the game as they push to, to move forward in that area of their life.

It's great. Yeah, Sean, thanks for that. I, I like. Right off the bat, I mentioned reputation earlier. We, we, we typically think about our reputation at work, and your reputation is everything. I mean, it's, it's gonna, it's the thing that is or isn't going to propel you forward. If you have the right kind of reputation now, you're in the, you're in the running. So that's just sort of the starting thing and, and absolutely essential. So for most of us, we think about our reputation. We think, oh, yeah, I probably have a pretty good reputation. You know, I show up and I'm doing the best job I can, et cetera. But we don't, we don't think about. I wonder what it really is, though, because we can't know. I mean, I, I know what I think, you know, inside my head and what I'm trying to do, but my intentions and, you know, what's inside here isn't necessarily what's going on with other people's thoughts of me. So seriously, number one, I would, I would, I would step forward and ask someone I trust in my professional sphere, I would ask a couple of people for candid feedback on my reputation. And, and I would tell them why I'm asking. You can't just ask, what do you think my reputation is? Because they're going to think, are you going to hold it against me if I, like, should I lie here? Should I? Is this safe? So you're going to tell them, hey, I really want to be doing the best I possibly can, and I think I'm doing well, and I think I'm in good standing here. But I, I don't know. I mean, I want to know what it looks like from the outside. So just see if there's a couple of people who would be willing to be candid with you and give you the good and give you the maybe not so good. And that in and of itself could just give you some marching orders on some things that you could work on and some things that you can iron out and that for some people, like, that's going to be the thing. And all of a sudden they start showing up a little bit differently and people start perceiving them a little bit differently and their reputation gets better and they, they. And they go on a list and I mean the good list of their bosses. So that's, that's a number one thing that I would say a number two thing is it's amazing how people, again, I mean, part of this could be linked to reputation, but it's, it's really on your interaction skills. And for me working with groups for, for so long, it's fascinating when you're with a group and, and I'm maybe facilitating a discussion and I'm asking a question, there's somebody who speaks up all the time and there's somebody who never speaks up. And so I, I, that's, I would, I would highly recommend that you really take a hard look at your interacting skills because if you're either one of those extremes, if you're the person who speaks up all the time, guess what? There are, there are people out there who think you speak up too much, that it's just the thing because other people might be processors, so they just needed a couple of more seconds to think before they spoke up. But because you're not, because you're a quick processor, you just, you speak up first and so they don't. So if you have found yourself in that position a lot, I would say you start to give it another couple of beats so that you demonstrate to people that you're collaborative and not dominant. You don't have a desire to be dominant, it's just your communication style versus theirs. And, and conversely the other person who is a, is a slow processor. Then I'm going to say you got to think of some ways as you start going to your meetings where you can speak up more quickly. So that might be some extra preparation ahead of time and finding out maybe what the main topics are going to be and then formulating your thoughts on those and maybe a couple of points you want to make before you, before you get to there. So just, just interaction is people want to enter, people want to promote, people who interact well with others. It's just besides your, I mean, haven't hit the other piece, I mean the technical piece. So number one, what's your reputation? Number two, what's your interaction? And number three, what's your technical prowess? And that's sort of table stakes, which is why I didn't even mention it, but that the idea is be sure you're good at your job, you know, be sure you're doing your job well, that you're technically executing on whatever it. And by technical, I just mean the aspects of your, you might be a, you know, an Illustrator. You might be whatever you are, maybe you're in, you know, something with design, but there's, there's always, like, what. How do we execute on the job? Are you executing on the job well? Are you doing it timely? Are you doing it quality? So be sure that those things are well, are, are good and are solid. So those would be. Yeah, how am I doing on my job in general? What's my reputation and what's my interaction like?

Gotcha. Gotcha.

Yeah.

Super, super solid. Sometimes it seems super common sense, but as we know from our mentor Brian, for sure, common sense isn't always common practice.

Common practice, yeah, we know that.

I have one more kind of question about this in relation to how do you. Because we were. I feel like we're having two different conversations as I'm like, processing as we go of this really great work of how do you advance in career or advance in life? It could be very interchangeable in that and living your authentic self. Like, how can I, as Sean, engage in a reputation, engage in or think about how I'm interacting and, you know, really do a good job at my job and do it authentically? I think that maybe be might be the tie to kind of merge those two conversations that we've kind of been having. Yeah. Do you have any, any thoughts on, like, how do you find your authentic self? That's not, that's the sustainable authentic self. Not the. Just your, I'm trying to find the words, just your normal authentic self. I don't know, maybe there's a third level of that sustainable authenticity.

Yeah, it's really, it's really right on, you know, I, I. The longer I am on Earth, the more I really believe that just about everything comes down to practice. Come down to practice. And so the authentic self, you know, as I'd mentioned, it's, it's actually associated with, or the true self is associated with some specific parts of the brain. And you want to, you want to access those parts of the brain. And I gotta go back to meditation if you're not meditating or praying or whatever it is for you. But I highly recommend that you engage in that because especially in our world today, I mean, I reflect on this more than our parents or grandparents who, I mean, the onslaught, the onslaught 24, 7, you know, 25, 16. I mean, it's just like overload. There's information, there's talk, there's interaction. There's something coming at you, and it's really, really easy. Really easy more than ever before to stay on the surface. Of life and to stay on the surface of yourself. And so it takes a choice to turn off the devices, like all of them, and to really give yourself some empty space. And that's scary for a lot of people who have not done that. Who am I when I'm not engaging in all my stuff that's on my screens? But I highly recommend it because who you are is. Let me cut to the quick. If anyone's listening to this and going, I'm kind of scared of that, I have good news for you. It's. It's all good. It's all good. Life is only going to get better as you start giving yourself the chance to access your. Your true self. So what you want, you want your true self available to you as you go throughout your days, and you get in, you get in discussions with people and you get in tight situations and projects, whatever it is. And the, the more you practice accessing that true self, the more it's going to be available to you. So I really do recomm recommend that you give yourself some quiet time. Lots of great apps for this. You got the headspace, you got calm, you got all these apps out there that are available. But Insight Timer, I really recommend that you do one that's not all talking all the time, but just that gives you a little bit of space. If you want to have a little music in the back or some ocean waves in the back, that's totally fine. But literally that just gives you a little bit quiet space. And just be sure that as you know, your chatterbox thoughts are coming in, that you're allowing them, just as any of those apps will teach you. You know, the thoughts drift in and the thoughts can drift out and just give yourself that open space. I have, honestly, Sean, had some of my best brainstorms of new product ideas and just content ideas come out. They just like, boom. I. It's come out of those, those meditative times and it's not like I was thinking about them because I was actually concentrating on giving myself some, just giving myself a break and some open space. And within that space, boom. An idea came so, so in, in, in. In solo success, we do it with soul practice and we do this soul practice thing that we do consistently every day. And we do something we call success setting, which we do every day. And it just starts to train the brain to listen to, to access that, that true self. Because it's true. It doesn't just happen. You can't say, okay, let me listen to my true self. If you're not. You got to get yourself in the practice of it.

Yeah, totally. And so, yeah, I love that it all comes down to quiet space. I have a huge, huge believer and proponent of slowing down. I mean, I'm introverted, so of course I want the quiet spaces and a lot more. But like, so I can step in and do things that expend energy or, you know, serve at a higher level. And I think at the end of the day, if you're living in your authentic self, you're able to give more, which helps your reputation, those interaction skills and just helps you be better at your job. So what a great way to wrap up a fantastic interview. So Mim, how I'll have links below in the show notes for you, but what's the best way for people to follow up with you if they'd like after this podcast?

Oh, that's great. Thank you, Sean. Yeah, I mean, just reach out to us@infosolofsuccess.com Infoolofsuccess.com Would love to answer any questions and talk with you whoever's, whoever's interested. And we love supporting people who are looking to improve their lives and improve their careers. And Sean, I know one of the links will be got a, got a hot off the press workshop that's a free on demand workshop for, for getting those promotions called how to win the promotion and accelerate your career. So and walk you through and I walk you through the process. So happy to really delight it if that is of help to you, but just reach out to reach out to me at any time.

Awesome. Awesome. Well then thank you for your energy, thank you for your presence. Thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge about living into that true self and how that's been a through line through a lot of different chapters in your career in corporate and learning. So always fantastic to talk with you my friend. So thank you so much, John.

I love talking with you, love talking with your audience. So what a privilege to be here. I really, I'm really honored and let's do it again sometime.

Absolutely, absolutely. So with that folks, please be sure to if you love this episode, comment on Apple Podcasts. That really helps us out. Share this with three friends if you would, if you found it helpful. And we'll see you in the next episode of the Meaningful Revolution podcast. What is your Meaningful Revolution? Right on the podcast we talk about people that have done a lot of work and getting clarity about what their mission is, what they find fulfillment in, what is helping them engage in their life more and more in the hopes of inspiring you to do so for yourself. But how do you go about doing that, right? Maybe you are new to personal development, maybe you're new to wanting change in your life and you don't know how to get to that next step. Well, good news. I got a three day challenge for you that will help guide you through just that. It's the Meaningful Revolution challenge where we'll spend three days together, one hour each, where on day one we'll talk about clearly defining your personal meaningful revolution, which is your fulfilling transformation. It's your purposeful impact. It's that authentic movement that gets you up and excited out of bed every morning to go out and chase and create in the world. Because I believe if we have more people living into their personal meaningful revolutions, that we will have lot more people engaged in their lives, which helps us out in society, it helps us provide more for our families, it helps us feel better about our lives. And these are all things that we all strive for, right? I feel like we all strive for joy, growth and impact in life. And a lot of that revolves. If you can achieve those three things, you have your personal meaningful revolution. So I'd love for you to join us in this free three day challenge, which is live. And so like I said, on the first day we'll go through clearly defining your personal meaningful revolution. The second day we'll talk about building your plan and the components of that so you can know your next steps and follow through and you know, feel a little bit of momentum there. And then the third day we'll talk about your commitment to that vision and habits, strategies, tactics to help make sure you follow through. So I love doing these challenges because one, I get to know you guys more. You know, I get to understand, ask you questions, you know, there's a place each day for some question answers and for some one off coaching if you're struggling with something in particular. As a certified high performance coach, I am a coach first. I love coaching people. It's my bread and butter and it's not me telling you what to do, but it's us co creating and figuring out a solution together to whatever is getting in your way. So love to do that for you. Join us in the Meaningful Revolution challenge by clicking on the link below wherever you're watching or listening to this podcast. So see you in the challenge, guys. You got this. This is the year to step up that vision for your life, to really build into that vision and to get some momentum going into this new year. So join us. See you there. This is Shaw Butner signing off. Sam.