Shelly, a digital peer-support assistant for women veterans, helps a user decide whether to assign work to Nicole (a Violet who needs protected time) or Tina (a Daisy with flexible capacity), then walks through three key questions to ask organizations interested in the Wildflower Assessment: who they serve, how it fits their programs, and what support model they need.
Chapters
Hi, I'm Shelly's digital mind. How can I help?
Uh, good morning. I have to put together my workshop curriculum for next month. I'm trying to decide between my teammates Nicole and Tina. They both say that they want to to do it. Nicole is a Violet and she's got a lot on her plate right now. And Tina's a Daisy and her daughter's headed back to school, so I think she's got a little extra time on her hands. I'm worried about the best quality product. So walk me through how to think about this.
I'd think about this differently than just who has the most time on their hands. A Daisy naturally adapts to whoever needs her, right? Right, she reads the gaps and fills them. So if Tina's got breathing room because her daughter's back in school, that's real capacity. But here's what I've learned: capacity and quality aren't always the same thing. Nicole's a violet. Violets do their best work when they have space to think deeply, to get into the nuances of what they're building. When a violet's overloaded, you get rushed work, and that shows. But if Nicole's already got too much, forcing the curriculum onto her plate isn't fair to her or to the workshop. What I'd really ask is this: Which one of them has the headspace to do this well, not just do it? Can Nicole protect the time she needs to make it excellent, or is this going to be one more thing pulling her under? And with Tina, is her extra time a gift she's genuinely choosing to give, Or is she saying yes because that's what daisies do?
That's a phenomenal observation. Um, I suppose if I ask Nicole, the violet, if I ask her if she has the space and capacity to take it on, do you think she'll be honest with me? Or do you think she'll just tell me what I wanna hear?
Honest answer, a violet will likely tell you what she thinks you want to hear, especially if she cares about you or respects your leadership. Violets process quietly, and they're reading the room the whole time. She's probably already weighing whether saying yes will disrupt things, whether it might let you down, what the burden really is. The thing that might help is asking her differently. Instead of, "Do you have the capacity?" try something like, "I need someone I can trust to do this well. It matters to me, but I also need to know if this is something you can actually take on without burning yourself out." I'd rather hear the real answer than have you stretch yourself thin. Then give her space to think. Don't fill the silence. Violets need room to land on the truth.
That's great. Thank you. I have an opportunity to expand the work that we're doing with the Wildflower Assessment. There's a group in another state that wants to implement it into the women that they work with. My first discovery conversation with them is tomorrow. What types of questions do you think I need to ask?
For a discovery conversation with a group looking to implement the Wildflower assessment, I'd focus on 3 things. First, understand their terrain. Who are the women they're working with and what specific challenges are they facing? Are these veterans processing transition? Burnout, relationship strain, or something else entirely. The assessment only lands if it speaks to their actual pain. Second, ask about their vision for how the assessment fits into their existing work. Are they looking to use it for community building, one-on-one coaching, organizational development? How they want to integrate it matters because the framework needs to serve their mission, not the other way around. Third, get clear on what they need from you. Do they want training for their own facilitators, licensing, ongoing support, curriculum development? Know upfront whether this is a one-time partnership or something you're building together over time. What's the organization doing now and what made them reach out about the assessment specifically?
Those are great questions. And she took the assessment herself, the leader did. And was really appreciative of the way it made her feel.
That's wonderful. When someone takes the time to do that and feels genuinely moved by it, that tells you something important right away. She's already experienced what the assessment can do, so she's coming from a place of understanding rather than skepticism. What I'd be curious about is whether she wants to implement it the same way you do, or if she's thinking about adapting it for her context. The way a group uses the assessment matters as much as whether they use it at all.
