Michigan Women of the Military Peer Support Group Program Overview

I'm Shelly Rude and I'm one of the community facilitators of the state of Michigan's female veteran peer support group program. We just launched this year off of a grant from the mental health community. It's our goal to bring like minded women together who have served in the military and help them engage in conversations so that we can improve their mental health and their mental stability. We're going to take you through a journey with some pictures and some videos and I want you to hear from the women themselves of just over the last three months how much this grant has helped make a difference in the women of Michigan.

With my experience just these last three months and then the prior year doing a lot of volunteer work in the veteran communities, I really got like hands on face to face with a lot, mostly male, when I was downtown and when I was given the opportunity to do this female peer support program, I thought, oh good, now I can step out of that feeling like I'm almost being looked at as an object and I'm embracing who I am, what I was born for and, and realizing that God's not done with me yet. I still have a lot to learn and I have a lot to give and share.

One of the joys of my life right now is running a female veteran peer support program for the state of Michigan. Next to me is Ms. Kirsten. She's one of our members and she's also stepping up and helping us take a leadership role with some of these peer groups. Now when you hear peer support group program, a lot of you are probably rolling your eyes, but what I would like you to think of is recreational therapy. A lot of our women have had the opportunity to go out on some incredible events over the last couple of months. Kirsten, tell us what type of events you've been able to participate in.

Absolutely. So the first event was a mixed martial arts event and then that has led to other events. So whether it's through the Massilia Women's support group or it's through other connections as we've met other veterans, we've also done salmon fishing, we've golfed with the pros, which none of us even knew how to golf, but they were so, so patient with us. And we have a riding event coming up in July at Raining Warriors Ranch. Yes. And I know that Shelly is working on some other fantastic opportunities in the future. So as Shelly mentioned, it's not just sitting down and talking, it's really connecting and healing through activity as well. And that's such an important Part of recovery, really.

So if you are a women of the military, whether you're serving now or you have served in the past, I want to encourage you to check out shelleyrud.com military you can read all about our female veteran peer support program and you can go ahead and apply now. We're taking applications for our next cohort, which starts in October. That Website again is shellerude.com Military women

who have served and that are coming out of the military, I really believe can benefit from being mentored or supported by peer support group because allows you to kind of digest what you've been through and have something to look forward to. But having somebody like almost hold your hand or your arm to say, you know, you're gonna get through this, I got through it. But whatever you need and whatever the military or your benefits don't provide, that's where women come into play. And I didn't find like, that I needed women until probably my mid-30s after having my son. And I guess I didn't really appreciate that camaraderie and that like, the genuineness that comes from female needs that differ from male needs. And to respect that, like, to the utmost. Whether you like to wear makeup or not, whether you like to wear skirts or not, you know, those are all individual choices. But I think women that are in the military, we don't mind wearing uniforms. We don't mind standing in line and waiting and doing things that typical, you know, women, at least for my generation, you know, would rather not be doing so. I just, I think it helps give us a voice too, and help us understand why we did what we did and what we still want to do. Like, that's the most exciting thing because the most exciting thing is this knowing that you have a plan and that you're moving forward. The scariest thing is not knowing that, is knowing that you don't have a plan and you're not exactly sure what to do next. And sometimes those who are wandering aren't necessarily lost. As one of my friends, and I say, so wandering necessarily isn't bad, but it's kind of a time of reflection and finding out where else you fit in.

I am army veteran Shelly Rude, and next to me is combat army veteran Crystal Jeffords. Hi. If you are an army veteran and you live in the area of Traverse City, Michigan, we want to encourage you to join our females of the military peer support group. Crystal is head of the group. They meet once a month, and it's a special cohort of very small groups. We divide you out into three to five women and help encourage and connect you to like minded women so that you've got some other really great people to connect with.

I like to investigate things before I jump in and once I jump in I'm 110%. But I had a lot of questions

and

like women's groups can be a little catty and so I wasn't sure what this was going to look like or be like. But I knew I needed the support from other women at my age and you know, with similar likes and just doing some things that I used to do when I was in the military, I really missed that part of my life.

So as Kirsten and I were just chatting, she was mentioning that it's kind of hard to be a mother, a new mother, and to make friends in that circle now. Something that one of my counselors told me years ago was that I should stop looking for mothers and then be friends with them and I should start finding women that I have things in common with and then pick the mothers out of that group. So Kirsten, tell me a little bit about your transition from active duty into your social life now.

So exactly. Shelly mentioned that she first started seeking out other moms and that's exactly what I did. Immediately coming off active duty, I went right into the stay at home mom role and I quickly learned that something was missing. I was meeting some great, wonderful women and connecting with them and doing things with them. But there was still something that I felt was missing in my life and emotionally too. And that's when I was linked up with the women's veterans group. And that has transformed my life just physically and emotionally and really has, I think kind of jump started the healing process for me. Just being around other women that you can share experiences with and gain some insight from them has been fantastic. And while I still have those great moms that are stay at home moms, it's just a little, it's different in terms of the, the veterans, you know, what they can offer and I'm thankful for both. But I'm definitely excited, you know, seeing the snowball effect of just meeting all these women that are connected, have some, you know, have some connection to the

military, like minded women. That's what we're all about.

I had a veteran friend in the St. Clair Shores Memorial Day Parade who asked me if I would ride in his car and I said absolutely. I was planning on being there anyways, working for the city and take a picture. So he made a large magnetic banner for the side of his car. And at that moment, being in that parade, thinking that I did something that was significant was pretty cool, you know, And I knew it was cool at the time. But for those that haven't served, I don't know that they understand, like, the pride that I felt inside and that the pride I denied for a while because I didn't really. It was an honor to serve. It was something I wanted to do to better myself and to face a fear of mine that I had about war. You know, whenever I'd hear an airplane, I would always think, is that like a domestic airplane or is that a military airplane? And living so close to Selfridge, we had a lot of air traffic, so that was a common fear. So from 93 up until 2018, I got out in 93 in April, and our son was born in July. And so up until this past year, until I started volunteering for veteran organizations, did I genuinely feel. Actually, it was a few years prior to that because I worked for the city of Sinclair Shores as a special events reporter for a little while. And that's when, like, city members and co workers were saying, oh, you were a veteran. Will you be on our parade committee? And I didn't really think it was that big of a deal. So I think that's when I was first, like, looked at as, like, wow, you're a female and you were in the military. And I'm like, you know, it really wasn't that big of a deal. And, you know, and so I always downplayed it.

So you went from active duty army to staying home with the kiddos. That must be a really, really tough transition.

Yes, it was. It's bittersweet. Definitely a. I'm learning a lot being a stay at home mom, like, where your keys are, like, how do I have my shoes on when I'm running out the door? Do I have my Crocs on? No. But I greatly am so excited to be, you know, involved with the veterans here in Michigan State and really giving back back in that way and staying connected. And it's been an awesome opportunity and look forward to more adventures.

Well, we're so excited to have you walk alongside us. I'm Shelly Rude, and it has been my joy and my honor just to show you what we've been able to accomplish. Over the last 90 days. We've changed the lives of roughly 90 women. We've brought them together in fellowship, and we've helped improve their mental health. I hope that if you are a woman of the military, that you'll consider joining our peer support group program. We have a space for you, and we're taking applications right now for the next cohort. Thank you so much to Chaplain Webb, to the state of Michigan, to our grant providers, and to anyone else who has helped facilitate and be a part of this incredible program. We will see you as we continue to serve.