Shelley Rude breaks down the first seven seconds of meeting someone into ten controllable areas: hygiene, style, a memorable phrase, asking questions, and emotional impact. Self-grade each one from how coworkers see you, then pick one or two to improve before your next interaction.
Chapters
Wait, that was it? No, no, I wasn't ready. Yeah. Let's do it again. Seven seconds. That's what you get to make a killer first impression. We're all human beings. We with voices and perspectives that are valid. You are worthy of being heard. The question is, does the other person agree? In this short lesson, our mission is to master this first impression moment so you can influence more people and make a greater impact in your community. I'm giving you a list of 10 key areas to own to seize your seven seconds. And we'll quickly address five specific areas of notable difficulty. So let's start by defining the moment. From the first time someone lays eyes on you, that countdown begins. And what they perceive within the first seven seconds of being in your presence sets the stage for whatever opinions they're going to be formulating of you in the future. If you make a lousy first impression, it's that much harder trying to win them over later on. Now, there's a lot that we can't control. Like maybe they're into cannibalism and your ears look especially delicious. I don't know. I don't know. I can't control it. There are 10 things that we can control, and as we go through each, I want you to take a moment to quantify how you're currently doing in that area. And don't overcomplicate that part. But I do want you to grade yourself like a student. You'll see how this works in a minute. The first area to own is hygiene. Did you shower today? Did you? No. Oh, well, how about yesterday? No, no. Last week? Dude, you need to shower. Now go ahead and assign a grade to yourself with how you're currently doing in that area. But do it through the perspective of your co workers or your network. He's giving himself a B. No, dude, write down a D at least. Gosh, I'm scared to ask you the last time you brush your teeth. The second area is outward physical beauty. Don't go crazy here. Just stick to what your mama gave you. Your teeth might be clean, but are they white? Your hair. It's washed. Sure, but is it pleasing to the eye or did you just throw that wet hair in a bunch? You did again. Third day this week. Yeah, maybe a B, maybe a C. How would the people around you grade your sense of style? Think about your go to outfits every day and even think about what decade they're from. Next. Have you established a signature style for yourself? Whenever it's appropriate, I like to speak wearing combat boots Or a tactical belt. Why? Because people recognize my signature style and they'll know who I am immediately. You know, like that lady in accounting that always wears purple. A signature style creates an environment of familiarity, and when done the right way, it also creates an immediate bond. Do you have a signature movement? When I think of my friend Todd Fathbrucker, I immediately think of his guns. He just does that. I don't know why, but it makes me laugh. Be sure to ask your network if you have a signature movement, because you probably do something without even realizing it. And how about a memorable phrase? Susan McCain always says, Bye for now. If you can't come up with anything, go ahead and give yourself an E. It's okay. But then ask your network and I'll bet you'll be able to raise that grade pretty quickly because they recognize things in us that we don't see. On to lucky number seven. To make a killer first impression, you need to identify commonalities with those around you. If I'm speaking at a military related event, I'll wear my grandfather's lapel pin from the Army Air Corps. It's a great conversation starter right now recording this video. I'm about nine months pregnant. When people see me, they feel the need to comment on my physical status. So I take it a step further and I try to figure out what they have in common with my pregnancy. I've been asking, do you have kids or other than me? Do you know anyone else who's expecting a baby? Identifying commonalities is easier than you think. If you notice animal hair on their suit, okay, don't point it out, but do ask if they have pets. And one note here, don't make it about you. Keep the conversation on them. Which brings us to number eight, be inquisitive. People love to talk about themselves, so give them the space to do so and they'll think that you're a wonderful person for being interested in them. Also, make it a point to pique their interest. If someone brings up morning sickness, for instance, I could say, oh yeah, it's tough, I'm getting over it. Or I can say, hey, at least it's not like my first baby. I was throwing up on the shooting range and I still qualified expert. Fun story. You've got a little interest, a little intrigue there. And finally, the most important area to own when making a first impression is considering how they feel after that moment ends. Humans are emotional creatures, and whatever they're feeling is that first observation of you. And they carry that with them. Into their next interaction together. That's it. Here's a quick recap of the 10 areas to own to make a killer first impression. Hygiene outward, physical beauty, sense of style, signature style, signature movement, a memorable phrase, Identify commonalities, be inquisitive, pique their interest and most importantly, how they feel. If you haven't already done so, your homework is to grade yourself on how you're currently doing in each area. Yeah, you have a D. And then pick one or two areas to work on before your next social interaction. Before we go, let's quickly address five specific areas of notable difficulty related to first impressions. If you're tall, make it a point to show submission. If you're short like me, make it a point to show confidence. If people don't like you, then make it a point to compliment them. And if you don't like people, well, let's think about what it is that you're actually offering them because the way you react to others speaks volumes. And lastly, if you converse awkwardly, remember that conversation and human interactions or skills and skills can always be improved. I'm Shelley Rude and that's how to seize your seven seconds so that you can influence more people and make a greater impact in your community. Are you ready? Are you? Let's go.
