Dr. Shereene Idriss is live!

Hold on. What is this button? Oh, what is that? Oh, this is what? I didn't know how to work. All right, let's do a Little Live on YouTube. It's been a day. It's been a day. It's been a day. Let me get water, actually. Hello, guys. Hi. Good morning. Good morning. Good evening. Good morning. I'm so delusional. I don't know what time it is. What time is it? Hi, guys. I'm doing my lives. I'm gonna do my lives without anybody knowing what I'm doing because they're not scheduled. And I want to live an unscheduled life. Hello from Hong Kong. Hello from Toronto. Hello, Ronnie, it's morning somewhere. It's morning somewhere. It's like, you know how they always say it's 5 o' clock somewhere? For me, it's morning somewhere. There's not enough hours in the day. Hello from Texas. New York City. Montreal, Massachusetts. I lived in Massachusetts for five or six years. Oh, hello from India, Canada, Seattle. We are all over the place here together. And it's an intimate group. I think we're like just 80 people. But I figured I would do a little live with you guys. Oh, that's a zoom in Mexico, Italy, Missouri, San Francisco, upstate New York. Well, I. Last week. Is it last week? Can I tell you, is it Thursday? What day is it today? I saw today 28 patients or something. So I kind of. Today's Tuesday. Today is Tuesday, but last week I think it was like Thursday before the weekend show went down. Like the world fell apart over the weekend again. I was like, I want to do, like random YouTube lives. Why? Because I am sick of a scheduled finger stuck life. Clearly. All right, my. Okay, there we go. I am. Oh, my God. I am sick of things being so scheduled. I'm sick of, like everything being so pre planned, pre organized social media, not being social, just being media. And I don't want to be on media. I want to be social again and I want to just communicate and I want to interact and I want to have actual, real conversations with humans. And so that is why I wanted to do lives now on Instagram. I used to do this quite a bit. I'm just curious. Actually, you know what, let's try the little features here. How many follow? Okay, you're gonna have to. You guys are gonna have to deal with my typos on ig, okay? It's supposed to say how many follow me on Instagram. Oh, can you guys vote there? Start a poll. Hold on. So on Instagram I would do this quite a bit, and then I kind of fell off because the crowd on Instagram got really weird. Okay, if you guys followed me on Instagram, have you guys ever been on one of my lives on Instagram where I would do this more regularly? Because when I would do this on Instagram, I really used to enjoy it and I loved it. And then something happened where, like, the people on the lives were really fucking weird, all right? Like, they were, like, sexual trolls. I found myself getting completely confused because I'm trying to block people during a live, and I didn't want them in the live and I didn't like what they were saying. And I'm like, what is going on? And so I just. The idea of lives on Instagram ended up stressing me out more because it wasn't just the community. It was like a bunch of weirdos who came in and I was just like, listen, I'm all for the weirdos. As long as you're nice, I don't care. But if you're like a sexual predator or. Or writing weird, no, I'm not into that. So I basically stopped going live because I was like, this isn't fun. I'm not here to be shouting at people. Like, if I shout because I'm shouting describing a story that I live throughout the day and I'm talking, like, you know, passionately about, like, some up thing that happened, that's one thing. But if I'm shouting because I'm getting pissed at how stupid the comments are becoming, I don't want to do it. Like, I've got too much on my. Like to go. I'm not here to, like, patrol people. So I stopped doing Instagram lives, but maybe I should go back at some point to reevaluate, but we'll see. And I just feel like Instagram has become a place where there's a lot of anger. A lot of anger, which I understand, because the world is really. But it's also a place where you just keep getting targeted and I keep spending money on, like, things that I don't need. So I want to go back to being social. I'm going on a complete tangent here, and you guys are catching me on a complete delusional 9:30 tangent when I've been up since 5:00am, 5:55am but hi. Hello. We're going to do a little skincare together. We're going to shoot the. I'm going to tell you guys about my day. I will share stories that I heard from patients not in Any particular order? So it's not like somebody I saw today. It's not a story that I saw last week. It's not a story that I heard in the last month. But, you guys, I literally. Can we do moderators on YouTube. I don't even know. But I had to get. I had to. Like, I'm slowing down, scrolling on Instagram for my mental health. I'm not kidding. It's just too much. Too much of too much. So I can't sit down and scroll too much on Instagram like I used to, but I was literally telling the team. So for those of you who don't know, because a lot of you guys don't know, and that's okay, because I actually don't talk about what I do every day, except for what I'm teaching you guys. I have, like, three businesses. Okay, really two, but really three if you count social. But I have the skincare brand, which, again, if you know, great. But I'm not here to promote anything. But it's the skincare brand. And then I have a derm practice, Idris Dermatology in the City. So I go to work every day and I see patients. And the funny part is I'm obviously living with me all day, every day. So I think that people who work with me hear and see what I see, but they don't, obviously. And so I'm on repeat, or I'm hearing stories and I'm doing whatever. And then the skincare team, I go, and I'm like, oh, my God, this story happened. And they're like, what the hell? And so there are so many stories that happen in my practice that I never share anywhere other than between the four walls of my practice, between me and my medical assistant, that I learned so much from patients, not in terms of skin care, but in terms of life. What is ig? IG is Instagram. Maybe I'll do videos about, like, a day in the life. Maybe. I don't know. Again, I'm not addicted. I don't view myself like an influencer, so I don't think of actively recording things. Like, if I'm at a dinner with a friend, I will never pop up my phone to record something so I can post it. And so I miss a lot of things for social because I'm living in my moment, and I'm not someone who's an influencer or, like, someone who thinks that I need to be recording. So I. I'm sorry if I haven't done it when I'm on vacation. I'm recording videos for, like, my own family fun that I save and I'll post them because they're so funny. But the ski trip was really funny. But in my practice there are so many freaking stories and it's just amazing. And like, the lady that we just hired for the skincare brand, who is the chief marketing officer, is asking me a lot of questions because she, like, wants to what it is that I do and like, how people, you know, why they come in, etc, And I'm like, I do what I do because I love to see people feel more confident. But it's amazing. People don't come in for the same reason, to feel more confident. Like, you have patients who come in who are either having. They're 50 years old, they want to change their jobs. They, they don't feel old and they don't want to look old and they don't look old. And so they want to do this to feel more confident so they can feel like they're up to par with their peers at work. Then you have people coming in who tell me about, like, them having had an affair and the toll has taken on their relationship, but they're not having a divorce yet. And they are hoping to feel better in their skin. Even though I tell them this is not going to make you feel more confident. It starts from within. But if you can give you the tools to kind of get past that you have to work on it becomes like a whole relationship therapy session. And I'm by no means a therapist. Like, by no means am I a therapist. Which is kind of nice because then I could say what I think as like, from a friendly perspective without the repercussion of a therapist. So you have that. Then you have people getting married. Then you have people who are single who are dying to meet somebody in their life and they don't know where it's going to. Then you have, you have so many stories that it's wild. My third job, and I know it doesn't sound like a job and you'd have to really follow me day in, day out. But it's like content planning for social. Like, I write my YouTubes, I have to do the research for the YouTubes. I have to record the. You do the first random edit and then someone else takes it. Tiffany. And edits it. My. I used to do pillow talks on Instagram at night. I can't do it as much anymore because I'm wild. I didn't ever. I didn't do the gift yet. Alison Sabi so on these YouTube lives that I'm gonna do, I'm gonna send out a special gift who fill out a form. And I am doing that. That was Allison saw Alison B. That was last week. I got it. I got the Google Doc ready. I have a link. I don't know fully exactly how it works, so I'm gonna try it. We can try to do it today. Sure. I think people tell you more than they would an actual therapist. You have no idea. So I kind of feel like I will share a story today. It's a little bit triggering of a story from a patient, but the reason I want to share it is because you should never accept this situation for yourself. Okay. And maybe every day I'll share a story that we can go through our skincare. I need to wash my face. I haven't fully washed my face yet. So the sink is over there and I'm sitting down. But this story is just. It's wild. But I had a patient, lovely human come in, and it turns out this person's coming in for textural issues on their face. And I don't know how this discussion came up, because in order to deal with texture, it's not about you. Filled out. There is a form. Is the form already on my page? Hold on. Maybe Tiffany put it and didn't tell me. Allison B. Is the forum on my community page. Oh, it is. Okay. Do you see? I didn't know Tiffany took. This is where I gotta get a pet. Tiffany has to. Full close circle. Okay. I didn't know she put it. But thank you, Allison. But it's not. It's not. That's not something that you're filling out once I'm going to be. It's funny that it's on my page because I want to put it under each live. So whoever watches the live fills out the form and has a chance to win something. So it's not something that should be living on the community page. It should be on each live. So I don't know what Tiffany put, but it shouldn't be on there. Anyway, this woman comes in for her texture, and I explained to her that, you know, with texture, it's not. And I'm somebody who does mostly, if not just cosmetic dermatology, my practice. But I'm like, when you're talking about texture, it is not just lasers. It is not just resurfacing. It is not just micro needling. It is not just subscision. It is not. You got to do multiple different treatments at different levels in your skin. In order to address texture correctly. So we're addressing all of that, and we're talking about all of that. And she tells me, you know, yeah, it's. It's been a rough year. And I say, okay, why? She goes, because I moved from California. I was like, oh, amazing. You know, like, congrats on the move, or I don't know if it was California, somewhere on the West Coast. And this person ends up telling me that she was in a very abusive relationship, that they ran away from that relationship. But that relationship was not typically abusive. There was stabbing involved. And it's amazing when you see somebody's confidence level that is low, because her first words were, I don't know why he did it that many times. And it sounds crazy as I'm repeating the story, but when you see the human and you see their confidence at such a low level, Some people accept really bad situations for themselves, and they come into the office to try to start feeling better about themselves. But working on your confidence is not just from the outside in. It's from the inside out. And so I had to stop this person and be like, never say those words again. Because you're not allowed to want that for yourself, okay? And you can't give anybody any sort of excuse, no matter what. And you cannot allow yourself to be treated as the back burner or an afterthought where this is, okay? And so it ended up becoming a much deeper discussion. But that's just, like, one tip of the iceberg. And I went home that night, and I. I share stories with my daughter, who's 8 years old, because I want her to learn that these are stories of people that actually exist, and they're very real, and they can actually happen. And this is a person who seems, like, from the outside, very confident, very good. And then once you start talking and things come out, you realize, wow, it's because they don't believe in themselves, and they don't believe in the value of themselves. And it was heartbreaking to see when somebody doesn't realize that they deserve better. And so that's one reason. That's, like, one extreme example, right? But you see that in my practice, through multiple different levels, completely multiple different levels. So my point here is, I want to share these stories with you guys because I learned from it. My heart broke for her. But I saw this person back, and I promise you, they look better already. The demeanor was better already as well. And so people make fun of cosmetic procedures, and they make fun of, like, skin care, and they make fun Of I remember my cousin, my first cousin. I love him. So I say this wrong with. He was like, I don't know why women bother, dude, okay? It's a dude. It's a dude. And I'm like, what do you mean, why women bother? And he's like, like, why do you do all these things, like injections and fillers and all that stuff? And I was looked at him and I was like, what are you talking about? And he's like, I don't understand why they bother. Like, you're gonna age, like it doesn't matter. And I looked at him and I said, that's funny coming from you. And we were at a dinner table, okay? Other people were around, and he goes, what do you like? Why is that funny coming from me? I was like, why did you bother with your hair transplant and his face? You know, Because I think a lot of people project their own insecurities of what others do onto what others do. And it's very interesting. Their own projection of their insecurities becomes extremely judgmental. And it's not until the mirror is turned on them that you know what I mean that something can click. So that was like, bound bomb, done, never spoken about again. He never brought it up. Never brought it up ever again. That being said, I had another patient who's young, she's like 31 today, and she caught me off guard because she was like, I will never do filler. I was like, stop right there, okay? This is not because I am trying to push filler on you, but don't be married to such extreme statements at such a young age. And she looked at me like, what do you mean? I was like, you're saying, I will never do filler, and you're saying, I will never do filler. Because you look at people who look, quote, unquote, crazy or weird, and you're projecting. You're judging that person for how they look. And so you say, I will never do filler. But the reality is you haven't yet started to actively age. And so by the time you hit 50, 55, 60, and you're starting to actively age, your DNA is so married to the idea that you will never do, quote, unquote, to help yourself, but you don't like the way you look and you want to help yourself that you are going to be in an internal conflict with yourself and you are going to hate on others because you can't help yourself because you're so judgmental towards others that that judgment is going to land back on you and you're going to turn into a bitter older person. And she looked at me like. And I'm like, and I'm not pushing you to do fillers. This is not me telling you you need to do fillers. But watch the words that you say and the judgment that you are projecting onto yourself indirectly without even recognizing it, because that is going to have an impact on you in the long run. And I see it every day. And my worst patients are like my 50 plus patients who've never done anything, who come in because they want something done. But there is so much judgment of what others have done that they're judging themselves now for wanting to help themselves, that they are in this internal conflict with themselves, not knowing how to help themselves. And I see it every single day, every single day. And it's amazing to see because I have to tell the patients, no one's here to judge you, and you should not judge yourself. And how are you helping yourself in a body positive way, in a healthy way that you can actually help yourself move forward so you can feel more confident in the skin that you're in without changing the essence of who you are. And that's really what we do. People who judge are actually hardest on themselves. And it's sad. It's projection. And that is absolutely a hundred percent. Now, how about let's not be so judgmental? Sure, easier said than done. But it's these like very grandiose statements at a young age that get so embedded into who you think you should be. Like, oh, I'm all natural, I'll never do Botox. And then you wake up one day and you're 45 and the line's really deep and you always look angry and you want to help yourself, but because you've said you've never, you'll never do Botox, you feel like you're going against who you are. You feel like you're betraying yourself. And then it becomes like this really messy situation. And the person who loses the most is your insides because you become bitter. And it's true. It's absolutely true. They become bitter. My grandmother used to say, one is as pretty as they are in peace with themselves. Absolutely. The most beautiful people are not. The ones with the biggest symmetry, because that doesn't exist, are not the ones with the most beautiful bone structure. The most beautiful people are the ones who have that inner confidence because they're so comfortable with themselves. They're not trying to project a different image of who they are. They're not trying to Be something that they're not. If they want Botox, they say they want Botox. Now the goal is to find the person who keeps them looking healthy and keeping it positive. So it's a two way street. A relationship is always a two way street. Two way street. And so you want to make sure that you have a person that you're working with that gives you, but that also pushes back and does it in a healthy way. So you're not always asking, you're not spiraling. But really true beauty starts from you being at inner peace with yourself. And everything else is an add on. Like how do you make it better? How can you add it on? How can you give yourself a little bit more? And it's, that's, that's really how it starts. I told myself I would never get my eyes done because I am Asian and I should be proud. I finally did it and none of my friends noticed, even after I told them. Big difference to me. And I love it so much. That for me is the best outcome, because I don't, I think I genuinely believe this. And it's crazy because my husband always asks me this. He used to ask me more, but now I think he just knows me. I could find beauty in every single person. Even objectively not beautiful people, there is something beautiful in them, especially when they're so at peace and confident with who they are. I swear to God, it's true. I'm not bullshitting you, it's true. So for you to still be who you are without changing the essence of who you are, where you're from and your, you know, your background, but you feeling more confident because you have less weight or you can see a little bit better, or it gives you that tiny little detail that gives you that extra pep in your step is the best part. Because for me, it's not about changing your identity and becoming a different human. And I think that is the biggest misunderstanding when it comes to cosmetic work. It's not, you know, having all of a sudden cheekbones like this because you're trying to have like your cheekbones. And that's not the goal of cosmetic work. It's not about, you know, getting rid of this so that you can look like a completely different shape. It's about how do you keep the essence of who you are alive, but making it the best for you to feel your best. Because there's going to be stages of life where we're going to age and things are going to change. And it's about how do you like, grow with your Face and be confident with yourself and not go against who you are, but also stay really body positive about it. Is all therapy worth the price? Beautiful. Aging is happening. So Gil Gonzalez, is all therapy worth the price? Those ongoing cost of going to these treatments is also a big hurdle for many of us wanting to make changes. So you feel only the rich can afford the look they're best with aging. Okay, hold on. Before we talk about Gills Jills, I forgot question about all therapy pricing, which I was going to say, it depends where you are. Truly, this is a very important statement. How do I pin this? Because I think Carrie Shapiro said something that I think is an important, important statement. Am I mixed? Am I. Is my practice expensive? Sure it is. Of course it is. I'm in New York City, okay? And there's only so many hours of the day and I'm trying. The cost of goods is very high. So I'm not going to lie that things are not expensive. They are expensive. But the ongoing cost of wanting to do these treatments is also a big hurdle for many of us. I hear you and I see you and I read this and I completely understand you. And this is when I tell patients, everybody has a different budget. Whether that budget is $500 or $5,000 or $10,000, it doesn't matter that you have your budget and you have to find the provider and not the deal, but the provider who is helping you within your budget. Look at the long term game of this is how much money I have to spend on me. And that's something you got to figure out for yourself. Maybe this year it's zero and maybe this year it's 500. Whatever it is, what is your budget for yourself that you can afford over the course of a year? And within that budget, what are we addressing? And that's why I tell you guys in skincare the same way I tell my patients in my practice. What is your biggest problem? Is it volume? Is it color? Is it texture? Is it elasticity? Is it line? And like, let us focus on your biggest problem now. Most people, their things that change the fastest and the most are going to be lines because Botox wears off. And volume because your bone structure actively shifts, especially in your 40s and 50s. And even though you're not necessarily losing volume because your bone structure is shifting, it's playing with your volume. And filler is not meant to fill. It's meant to play with the proportions very lightly. Where I chase you as you age. And so you have to understand that most patients maintenance right Is very light filler. Very light filler. Okay. And you let Botox wear off. You let it wear off before you do it again. I want movement to fully come back. I don't want you to always be frozen. That's your quote, unquote. Maintenance once or twice a year, and then every year, in order to age seamlessly the best that you want, you find. What is your one project that you want to address? Is it your skin tone? Skincare can do a lot. So with prescriptions it can be very good. Is it your texture? Is it your under eyes? Is it your hair? Is it your neck? Is it whatever, whatever it is, we have a project and we work on that tiny project within your budget to get you there. And that's how you have to think of it. If you're actively thinking. There are so many things I need to always do and so many things that I always need to keep up with, and so many things. And it's so expensive and it's like a whole crazy budget and only rich people can afford this. You're thinking about it wrong. Because the goal is not doing everything all the time. That's not sustainable. Emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, it's not sustainable. And so you gotta figure out, first, what is your budget? Second, what are the things I need to actively maintain for me to feel like my best or to follow my face the most? And then every year you find what is my biggest problem that I want to address slowly but surely. So when you look back over 10 years, it's not just Botox that you got done, Because I have never seen an 80 year old or a 90 year old die. And on their tombstone is it written, what a beautiful forehead my grandmother had. No one's ever complimented a forehead. So you have to look at the aging process as a whole. And when you look back over 10 years, you haven't just done Botox, you haven't just done fillers. You've addressed every aspect of the aging process slowly, over time, within your budget. So no money helps. Of course it does. But money is not going to block you from being the best version of yourself if you're thinking and planning and thinking ahead and not just thinking in the moment as a knee jerk reaction. Carrie Shapiro, I'm sorry I put you on the spot, but I love this comment and I felt like it really deserved a moment to be highlighted. If you're still with me, please let me know. And I'm trying to read the comments as I'm doing this live. And I hope I didn't sound preachy, but this is something I feel very passionate about because within every budget, you can help yourself. Obviously to the extent varies, but that doesn't mean you can't help yourself. And that doesn't mean that, that you have to let yourself go and just like get depressed about how you look. I feel very, very strongly about that. Is Carrie still with me? Because I don't know if I lost her after I pinned her comment. Why am I doing the live stream now? Because I want to connect. I'm sick of social media not being social. Carrie Shapiro. Okay, did you, did that make sense? Did I, did I change your perception a little bit? Carrie, I'm curious. Please let me know. Let me know. Diane, put it in the comments. But the reason I'm doing these lives is because I genuinely love humanity. I love people. I love what I do. I like connecting with people. And that's why I started on social. That's why I started Pillow Talk during my Instagram stories. I hate the algorithm game. I hate the idea of having to create content for views. I hate the, the concept that people are just gaming the system and all trying to copy one another. And like, where is your perspective? Where's your passion? Where's your discussion? Where's your back and forth? How are you discussing things? How are you changing perceptions? Like, where is she? Did she. Answer me. Does she change her perception? I don't know. Did Carrie Shapiro change her perception? She didn't put her little comments in the comment section of, like, how she could be helping herself. And so for me, being able to go on a live, I'm also somebody. I am not a rehearsed human being. I hate having to pre think my thoughts and I want to tell you guys what I'm thinking. I may make mistakes in the moment and hopefully we can always address it and fix it, but I don't want to pre think my thoughts. I want to be able to talk like.