Unscripted: The Real Dr. Idriss Story – LIVE!

From this morning. Let's see. Share your screen. Close. Why am I hiring the volume? It's just me. You guys are. You guys are in the chat. Good morning, everybody. How are you? Or good afternoon. Let's fix this computer so you don't see them. I always sit very low. Are we all here? Are you guys here? Where are we going? Can you guys hear me? Tiff, am I live? There's 118 of you, but the chat is just sleepy. Is it Tuesday? It feels like Friday. Oh, there you guys are. Okay, there we are. Hello and welcome to our live. You guys can hear me. I'm doing it from my desktop, which is extremely rare. I turned this on like twice a year, but I had an interview earlier today on Zoom, so I used the computer. So I figured I would do it from here. Here. But it's so much better than on the phone because I can actually read your comments and I could see you guys in real time. From Montreal, from the Philippines. Holy bully. Don't know what that means. From Boston. It is tax day. Oh. If you guys need some comedic relief, welcome. It's fellow from Florida, Dublin, Ontario. I'm running away on tax day. Thank you. I did my makeup on an Instagram live this morning because you guys, some of you asked me about my makeup routine. I've never felt like I was qualified to do a whole dedicated YouTube on makeup because I'm by no means a makeup artist. So I shared that on Instagram Live. It's up on my page. I saved the live in case you couldn't join. But it is on my Instagram page now. I wish I could put the chat this way because I keep looking this way to kind of read the chat etc, but I just wanted to have a little, you know, informal live. There is no new product launches that I'm discussing today. There is. Thank you for the hair is hearing. I used the. What's it called that. Dyson? The brush. But I just wanted to have an informal live. I realize it's very interesting. So the challenge of being on social right, is that you feel like a narcissist, constantly talking about yourself. And then you get humbled when you realize that so many people still don't know your story. And so I came onto YouTube to share my story and the backstory. Now I've shared this story quite a bit on Instagram on various lives on Instagram stories. Not really so much on TikTok. And Charlie just Sheree just said, I love that you're on YouTube. I don't Tikt so yeah, well I have not really shared the story on TikTok anyway, but I figured I might as well kind of take you guys down memory lane. Now. I normally do this at 10pm when I am completely unhinged and at my wit's end in terms of my day. And so I usually tell the stories or I share stories in a very animated way. But I, I figured I would share with you guys my story. And Hannah said, well a lot of what you talk about is empowerment. That's not self centered in any way. I appreciate you Hannah. Thank you for that. Because I do genuinely feel like I am not someone prior to being on social. I never posted a single video of myself. I had Instagram Since 2011, a friend of mine started it but I never posted any video of myself because genuinely I hated the way I sound. I hated the way I came across on videos. I'm not someone who's like let me be the center of attention if you see me at any sort of event. I'm not like trying to be the center. It's not who I am. And so to talk about myself does feel a little bit self centered in a way and I don't like it. But I do recognize that there is an incredible story that should be shared from the brand's perspective and for the community to kind of know what is the background of how all of this started. And this is really with the hope of empowering you, with the hope of if you're somebody who's watching this, feeling down on your luck. If you're somebody who is watching this, who feels self conscious, if you're somebody who's watching this and doesn't feel like there is an out in your life. I hope you listen to this story and it inspires you to hopefully help yourself get ahead. Because genuinely if I could do it, anybody can is what I really believe. And so that's why I want to share it again with the YouTube audience and then we'll save the life if you want. I do think it's probably the only video I've ever done where I kind of talk about the background is in my know your worth. I did a video in 2021 when I left my previous job and I started my practice. Let us judge you. Thanks Mary Fitz. You are not talking about yourself in vanity. You do it in reflection for art education. That's genuinely why I'm doing this this way. But I did a video in 2021 when I left the previous practice and I said know Your worth. And I really, it was the first time where I talk about the trauma I had professionally speaking because I finally felt free and able enough to do so. So if you guys want go back and watch that video, I am a bawling mess when I recorded it because it was the day after I quit and I really go into it very, very deep. Okay, so let's get into this and stop prefacing it with a million prefaces. So there's a couple hundred of us on this live. Now. Martha, can I ask you a favor? Do you mind closing this if you're going to be packing stuff up? So I just want you guys to see my office really quick. That's Martha. She helps me with my life. She had Covid, I'm traveling, she's wearing a mask and so that's her office and this is mine. And so we are in each other's spaces all day, every day. And so she's going to be doing stuff and I don't want too much noise in the background. She's not on social. She doesn't know how this works. Okay, so I am a board certified dermatologist. You guys know me as that derm on Instagram, that derm on TikTok. That derm. Hi Martha. That term on YouTube. But I was not always on social. Okay. I've been practicing now in New York City for 13 years. So I've been seeing patients for over a decade in New York City. I may look like a fetus, but yours truly and even skin tone above all else is the name of the game. But before I even started with the skincare, I really practiced that and that's sort of what I believe. It's definitely what I believe and what I preach. I was my goal in life. So I'll give you guys backstory. I'm Lebanese. I am Lebanese. I am the only person in my family who was born here. And I hope I don't get deported or denaturalized story for another day. But my dad had a green card because he studied in the US and so I was very, very lucky that my father had the green card because when the war happened in Lebanon, my parents ran away. They went to Cyprus. My sisters at the time were four and three years old. They left my sisters with my grandparents in Cyprus and my mom was nine months pregnant, came to the U.S. popped me out. I was four days old when they sent me on an airplane with them back to Cyprus. I have no idea how a four year old, a four day old in January gets on an airplane. But they did it because they had no choice, because they had to go back. And we ended up spending the first year of my life in Cyprus. And then we moved to the US after that. And we moved to the US Because Lebanon was a no go zone. The war, civil war was breaking out. There was really, it was not a place to raise kids. And now that I had the American passport, I was so fortunate to get my sisters and my mother the citizenship and get them out as well. My dad had the green card because he was lucky to train in the U.S. he's also a pediatrician. So that's my backstory. Okay. I come from a family of immigrants. We came with nothingness in the sense that, yes, they had stuff in Lebanon, but they came with nothing here. My dad is a pediatrician. My mom wasn't working. And so it was all about. Everything they did was to make sure that their three daughters on the youngest of three had an education, had something to fall back on. And as any good immigrant family, it's like, make sure that you're not fully employed. You're a doctor, a lawyer, an architecture, whatever it is, engineer. But the reality is we just all happened to love medicine. And so we're all three doctors. And so when I went through school and undergrad and med school, I honestly never in my wildest dreams thought that being an entrepreneur was part of my picture. I. I didn't know it, I didn't premeditate it. I wasn't thinking about, how do I get rich quick? I wasn't thinking about how do I get rich. It was just like, I just need to do what I love and work. And luckily, what I love is what I do and make sure that I can have a living. Because my parents are not going to leave me with anything. They invested in my education and they made sure that that's what they knew was going to allow me to survive in life was being a doctor. So it was more like, go work, do what you love if you're really lucky, and make sure that you can survive. Because that's all you have is what's in your head. You don't know how life goes. You don't know when a war is going to break out. That was like the story every day. So when I graduated, she found, you can ask your question. I'm kind of reading, but this is like story time. I'm giving you guys the background story of who I am and why I do what I do. When I graduated from med school, I was not Engaged. I had never dated anyone. I was so busy and focused on studying. So I finished high school at 17 and I started undergrad at 17. I started med school at 20 years old. I was very young. I was on a mission to really make sure that I got my medical degree. And I had it in my pocket so I could do whatever the hell I wanted afterwards. I remember when I started med school, I was the youngest person in the class. And when we had our finals, everyone went out to go drinking. And I didn't even have a fake id. I couldn't go with them to the bars or the clubs or whatever it is that they were doing. And I had to go drive myself home. And then a friend of mine got me cookies and milk as a joke. And I was like, fine, I love cookies. I took the cookies, but on lactose intolerance, I didn't take the milk. But that was. I was 20 in med school, and so I was really young. And so I. I kind of got tunnel visioned and I took a year off in between my second and third year to go do research. And again, I had never dated anyone. I was just hyper focused. I focused on dermatology. I knew it's what I wanted to get into. It was extremely competitive. And I ended up getting into a dermatology residency program. And I'll take cookies and over drinks any day. As would I. When I was 24. 4, 25. And so I started residency at 25. I moved to Boston. I had never gone on any dates. I finally started dating. I meet my husband. Long story. It's a story for another day. Okay, we can do love advice. Live another day. If you guys are really depressed about your love life, we can do that another day. But I met my husband who lived in London, and we started dating long distance. And I. I used to say, I will never date someone long distance. I dated someone long distance and we got married long distance. Literally got married in Italy because he was in London. I sent him back to London and I flew back to Boston. And our first year of marriage was long distance. And so when I graduated, I'm telling you guys all this because when I finished residency from Boston, I moved to New York with the goal of just finding a practice that I liked that I wanted to work out of. That was it. I always had an understanding of my personality that I wanted to one day own my own practice, but I didn't really fully know exactly how I would do that. But I felt like being the true immigrant that I am. Don't be employed, own your own practice. That's the background. So I come to New York 2012, 2013, and I take the first job I get. I am an Aquarius. And the first job I get, the reason I take it so easily is because I didn't have to sign a contract. The guy gave me a sandwich. He literally handed me a sandwich in the interview. And I was like, he seems very nice. I don't have to sign a contract. I'll take it. When I show up for my first day of work, it's out in Long island, and I basically have to drive an hour out every single day. Not an hour. It's almost like an hour and 45 minutes out each way. So it was a three hour commute every day, a little bit more than three hours. And I get really carsick and I wanted to quit. My husband told me, no, you're not quitting. I spent a year doing that and it was my first year really living with my husband. It was my second year of marriage and it was a really tough year because here I was all excited to start my career, all excited to start working, to finally make money, because in residency you don't make money. I was getting paid nothingness in Boston. I would live off of like pastrami for like several days, which is a true story. And I was like, this sucks. I don't know how. I ended up meeting this rep who put me in touch with a very high end cosmetic dermatologist in New York who was towards the tail end of her career, or so we thought, who wanted to find somebody who would take over her office that she could continue her legacy through and who wanted to create her little protege. So I happened to be at the right place, right time, and I met with this person and ended up working at that office one year out after my first job. And I was there for several years and it was probably, it was definitely the best experience of my life in terms of my career. I learned so much what to do in terms of patient care, and I also learned so much of what not to do in terms of how I want to live my life and what I do not want to to do with my life. And so it was really an amazing time. And even though I got fired when I was pregnant from this place, which I'll get to in a second, I am forever grateful to this person for having put me on the map, for having taught me what she taught me both directly and indirectly. Yes, the first employer gave me a sandwich. It was a great sandwich. They did not give me a contract because I had nothing to sign. I said, I'll take the job. Truly. That's how I decided. And no one believes, everyone thinks I'm extremely type A. I'm not, I'm not pre calculated at all. I just follow my gut. And that's why I took that job. It was still good to do and I think grateful to that first job because it led me to my second job, which really, really built me as a human. So I took the second job for a couple of years. It was a time in my life when I was trying to get pregnant. It was a time in my life when I was building up my patient base. It was a time in my life when I was also honing in on my cosmetic skills. And there was a time in my life when I was dealing with a lot of personality disorders. So it was a lot all at once. And when I finally decided I couldn't get pregnant, I went through IVF at that practice and I finally got pregnant. And I got called into the office when I was 10 weeks, nine weeks, 10 weeks pregnant. It's like something like that. And I got fired. And I was fired on the spot with nowhere to go and a baby in my. Down there. Okay. And it was a very traumatic experience. Now taking a step back. I'm an immigrant. I am somebody who has fought my way through everything. I am somebody who has dedicated my life to studying, to being the top of what I do, and to getting into one of the most competitive fields, right? And now I'm fired. Imagine what kind of mind fuck that has on a hormonal pregnant woman. Okay, why did I get fired? The truth is somewhere between. She was not able to let go. I was too ambitious. Personality clashes and one sided personality disorder. And for me, what was the final blow is when she pulled me into her office and said, hey, you seem a little distant. I don't think you're happy here. And I said, well, I'm not unhappy. I'm not, not happy. Which was a lie. I was unhappy, but I am actually pregnant. I don't have a personality disorder. My old boss was a narcissist. She looked at me and said, melissa, sorry, I was answering your question. Do you have a personality disorder? I don't. My old boss was a narcissist. I looked at her and I was like, I'm finally pregnant. She looked at me and said, that doesn't matter. I wasn't like that when I was pregnant. And at that point, sorry, my phone is beeping when she said that, I told her, you know, I'm going to make this easy for you. I'm going to quit because clearly you do not want me here and you have a lawyer here, so you're obviously going to fire me. And she goes, no, you're not quitting. I'm going to let you go. And she made me sign the fire. Like when you get fired, the paper and the lawyer almost fainted. I could get into the details of how that happened on another day, but that's not the point of the story. Okay? But yes, she had a lawyer there and the lawyer almost fainted when she heard I was pregnant. And she still made me sign the piece of paper saying that I was terminated anyway. So I got very depressed. I got very depressed. I questioned my self worth. I questioned, is she telling people I got fired? How is it going to be perceived? Are people going to think I suck? I question my skill set. I question my knowledge. I question my own respect for myself. I questioned whether or not I should be a mother. I questioned, what am I going to do with this baby? I questioned, where the fuck am I going to work? I questioned, how am I going to make money? I questioned. I just become dependent fully on my husband. I question myself for questioning that. I question, I question, I question, I question. I question. I got depressed and I said it. I want to start my office because I don't want to think, maybe I don't want to work for anyone. But my husband was like, slow your role. You're finally pregnant. You've never been pregnant. We don't know what pregnancy entails. He's the voice of reason, honestly, he really is. What if you're on bed rest? What if you need X, Y and Z? You're going to start a business and have all the stress. And so I was like, no, he's right. I ended up then taking a job somewhere else. And I was very honest. When the person hired me, I said, listen, my goal is to own my own office. I don't think I'm going to be here forever. I'm going to work here for a few years. But this is not my dream. I think after finally being fired, working somewhere else, I know I want to own my own office. So just so you know, I'm not going to work here forever. I was honest as can be. I was a loose cannon, depressed. Shireen is even more of a loose, unhinged canon than what you have right now. So I took the job very clear with the person who hired me that this is not what I want to do forever. And that I one day I want to go open my own office. She still agreed to hire me, knowing exactly what I was. But she's a smart business lady, because I came with a huge roster of patients, and I brought those patients from one practice to the other. So I ended up working at that other office for a few years. I had my daughter December 2017, and once my baby was sleeping through the night, around June, July of 2018, that's when I turned to social because I was still depressed. It was a year after being fired. I had delivered my daughter. I had another job. But there is something about being fired when you are a. And I'm not a type a human. Neither am I a competitive human. I am a competitive human with vice. But there is something about getting fired and being told you're not good. When you are competitive with yourself and you are, and you have imposter syndrome, that really strikes a chord. And I was really down for a while. So even after my daughter was born, I had postpartum issues, breastfeeding with my mindset. I stopped breastfeeding in June, and I think that's when the cloud lifted off of my head and. And I turned to social in July. July 13, 2018, is when I did my first Instagram story. And that day holds a special place because we'll get into it on another story. But I believe in signs. It's the birthday of the lady who helped raise me, and she had passed that year. And so July, I didn't realize it at the time. I only connected it a few years ago. But July 13, 2018, I turned to Instagram, and in my delirious state, I start doing Instagram stories. Okay. And my goal with Instagram stories, and this was at a time when no doctors were on social, whether it was dermatologists, cardiologists, no one. And it was at a time when social was still in its newer stages that I turned to, yes, overachiever with imposter syndrome getting fired. It was fucking rough. And so I ended up turning to Instagram stories to help other people. And my thought was, what's imposter syndrome? Imposter syndrome is when you do not believe that you deserve a seat at the table, when you believe that you are not good enough. And I think part of being imposter syndrome is being an immigrant and being a woman, where you feel like you are kind of a fraud, that you are. Even though you have a million diplomas all over your walls, you still feel Like a fake. And that you are lying even though you're not right. And so it really just Fs you up. Okay. Anyway, had. Where was I? Where was I? Hold on. I got distracted by the question. Where was I in my story? Where was I in my story? I forgot. I forgot. This is where the add comes in. You don't know your place in the world. That's how I feel. Okay, wait, turn to ig. Oh, Socials. Thank you, Casey Morgan. Thank you, thank you, thank you. So I turned to Instagram with the pure intent that if I help somebody else feel better about themselves or if I help somebody else help themselves, I will feel better about myself in the process. That was my hypothesis. And it happened at the same time where a lot of patients were coming in, into my practice having done stuff, cosmetic procedures, not knowing what they've done or why they've done them, and also not able to explain to me why they're using the products that they're using on their face. And I was like, holy, all these people are just getting injected with stuff that they don't even know what they're getting injected. They don't know why they're using these products. They don't know. So I was like, okay, let's clear the air. Let's reset. Let's go on Social. Let's explain what X, Y and Z are for cosmetic procedures. Let's explain what X, Y and Z can do for skin care. And let's just do this for two weeks and I'll feel better and maybe I'll get over my depression. I was very naive and that's what I thought. I thought it would last two weeks. I thought pillow talk Derm would last three days to two weeks and I would be done. And the joke is on me that I'm still going eight years later. Okay, I am still talking eight years later. But that is how Social started. And Social started with that goal. And the only promise I made to myself, as it started to grow, and I'll tell you, as it started to grow, what happened, I was like, and I really have to thank my husband who's like, never take sponsorships. He was just like, never take sponsorships at all. But in the very beginning, in 2018, 2019, there was like a dirty word. But also, I never wanted to be owned by brands because I wanted to stay as honest in communication with you guys in a way that was always clear cut and very, very organic. And so for me, I didn't want Social to become a tool that I Used to live my life. I had a practice. I was making enough money to live very happily. I didn't need more in that sense at all, thank God. And so for me, I kind of stayed away from that whole influencer sponsorship land, where I probably left a lot of money on the table. I know I left a lot of money on the table, but I'm not saying this to appear virtuous. I'm telling you this because for me, it was very important that I kept my social channel as honest, as transparent with you guys as humanly possible. And so that is how I grew on social. And so Allure caught my Instagram stories. This is in 2019, 2018. They wrote an article, Their social team saw it. They wanted me on a YouTube video called a Day in the Life. Very honestly, in 2019, I didn't really know what YouTube was, and I was like, what? They want me to record my day? Okay, fine, you know, so I recorded my day. I had no idea what I was doing. That video hit over, I think, a million views for them. And all of a sudden I had a YouTube account with just one video that I recorded prior to my daughter being born. I had like, I don't know how many thousand people following me on a channel that had no videos. And that's how YouTube started, where I was like, what is this? And so that is where YouTube came into play. And then TikTok happened begrudgingly much later. So that is how social started. In parallel, I have been seeing patients five days a week since 2012, 2013. I have not stopped. I have never become just a social media doctor. I. I see patients every single day. And when Covid hit in 2020, I stopped working. I stopped working for a few months because my son was only five months old. I didn't think it was safe to go to the office for cosmetic stuff and put people's life in danger. And the city shut down. And that is when I started looking for office spaces. I started going around the city looking for office spaces. And I found the space that I'm currently in, and I decided I'm going to start my office and, and build it out. And so that is how I started this. The actual practice, Idris Dermatology, which we like to call our living lab, because I see patients every day. I see what's going on with their skin. I ask them questions about the products. I see new things that they're using. I see anywhere from 80 to 100 something patients a week. And so that is how I started in My practice. And my practice opened in September of 2021. But let's go back a tiny bit more. And again, I hope you guys are learning that moments in life when you get beat up are moments that you should take advantage of, because that's the best. When you are at rock bottom and you have nothing to lose is when the best things happen. And for me, being at rock bottom, getting fired, really getting humbled, being depressed, putting myself fully at other people's service was the best thing that ever happened in my life for my own personal growth and something that I hope I never forget. And so, going back in time, it's now November 2020. I'm with COVID in my room. I am locked up for two weeks and febrile at 103. And at that point, there was a sunscreen scandal where there was a sunscreen that was being mismarketed. Rock bottom pro, trust me, I've had another. There are several rock bottoms for me. Pregnancy, fired, this next one coming up. And so I lose my shit on Instagram stories. And I'm like, if we can't fucking trust sunscreen, who can we trust? What is this shit? Like, you know, why are they selling a sunscreen that's not labeled as it should be? Are they taking advantage of us? And I wasn't trying to be a conspiracy theorist or like, I was just really upset at the fact that the sunscreen was not what it was labeled as. Again, my fever was at 102. And then so I asked everyone, should we start our own sunscreen line? And within 24 hours, 10,000 people voted yes. And so for me, I was like, maybe there's something here. And that is when the brand was born. So the brand, the brand we decided was going to be called Pillow Talk Derm because that was the name of our community. Ms. You got it right. I'm not saying what brand it was because I'm not here to bash the brand, but that was the saga, if you're in the chat. But I thought, I'm going to name it after the community. It's going to be a community driven brand. It's not about me. It's about the education, the pillow talks, the derm backing, the pillow talks, us being one and creating now products that people want and need that really make a difference. Okay. Because I feel like there's still a lot of fluff in the market. And now that I'm in it, I know there is a lot of fluff in the market that people just sprinkle ingredients for Claims, but they don't actually do anything. So when I started developing products, I went first to big manufacturers and I realized I was the smallest fish in their sea. And then I ended up realizing, screw this, I'm going to go and hire a lab. So I paid for a lab and I wanted them to respond and answer to me, but I was still the smallest fish in their sea, okay? And so I was like, screw this, I'm going to hire a chemist now who's going to help me translate what I want to this lab so this chemist can also tell me what the lab is doing so. So that they're cross checking each other and no one is lying to me and, you know, selling me bullshit because I'm not a chemist. What do I know, right? I'm just a doctor. So I ended up hiring the private lab, hiring the private chemist formulating these products. And we said everything that we're going to do, we're going to have clinical studies to really back them, to make sure that they're actually delivering on what they do. And we're not going to put anything at bullshit levels and what are we going to stand for? So now go back to my office. All right? I had to narrow Smith it from scratch. Yes, I did. We narrowsmith that shit from scratch when you think about the brand and the product. So now there's a different brand name, but we'll get to this. This is another Bulldozer moment, okay? The brand name is a bulldozer moment. And I'm going to tell you guys about this bulldozer moment in a second. But what I wanted the products to be is I am a cosmetic dermatologist. I focus on cosmetics. I focus on people looking their best, feeling their best, so they could show up with their best foot forward every day. I think the reason I gravitated towards cosmetics is because I am the youngest of three. My sisters are gorgeous and they are darker skin tones. And I was always made fun of, okay? I was the white sheep of the family where I was pale as f told to get a tan or to go burn because I had no color. I always felt insecure about how I looked because I didn't have darker features. I had light hair. It was the opposite of everyone else. And I felt like just the ugly sheep of the family. And I guess I ended up going into cosmetics subconsciously because of all of this, right? Maybe dermatology was a way for me to justify me being so pale, you know, because of sunscreen and sun protection. But that's how I ended up in cosmetics. But anyway, I do think there's a huge underlying. I joke a bit, but there's some. I'm not joking about me feeling ugly. I really did feel very ugly growing up, and it was not like I felt if you had sisters like I have, you would understand. But anyway, I also think that when people feel their best and look their best, they do do their best. Okay? And so when I thought of my practice, patients come in all the time with lines and wrinkles and a little jowl or a little sag. Like, I have a line here, I'm a little bit jolly. Like, we all have it. And they're hyper focusing on this. But when you take a step back, okay, when you really take a step back, it's not that. That's it. It's their skin tone. It's the uneven skin tone, it's the brown spot, it's all of that. And so I would put these patients on these 10 step skincare routines that were not realistic for them to hold onto for life, to try to get them somewhere. So when I started my brand, I wanted to condense that into something very, very simplified. And that's when we started these three products to help you even out your skin tone. And this is where the major fade line started. Because I would always say, and even skin tone, above all else, even before I started the brand on Social, I would say this. And even skin tone is next to godliness. You can have all the lines and wrinkles in the world as long as your skin is even in color. You can fake it till you make it. You know what I mean? Or not. Because nobody ever makes it. We all end up six feet under or dispersed in. In the air, right? So that was always what I would say. And so I wanted the skin care to embody that. About evening out your skin tone, about looking more, you know, youthful in terms of your skin tone and not having the damage of the years or the sun show on your skin. And so this is how the skincare line was born. And then we launched, okay, on September 19, 2022. I am someone who is Lebanese. I believe in the evil eye. I have many stories in my life now that corroborate this. Okay. When I open my practice, the day December 22, 2021, I got hit with a lawsuit for my practice. This is for Idris Dermatology. This is the living lab, as well as a fire that broke out in my office a month after opening. If that is not evil eye, I don't know what Is. And I was being sued by my previous employer when I launched September 19th, 2022 Pillow Talk Derm. Okay? That's why there's an evil eye here. My daughter broke her arm that day. She broke her arm and I was in the emergency room that night. That should have been one of the happiest days of my life because we sold out within 36 hours. It was a hit. People were excited. But my daughter broke her arm and I have a picture of her arm that looks like an S because she climbed a bookshelf and fell. And I was in the or the ER with her. That next week I get a 300 page cease and desist from a multi billion dollar brand for Pillow Talk. And I had just spent. Now I'm going to take you guys back. Between opening my office, I had a lawsuit from my previous employer and I was defending myself, my colleague, and I spent now a quarter million dollars in that lawsuit to defend him and the office to putting my money into the skincare brand, to now having a lawsuit for the brand name. My daughter, who broke her arm and then on top of it, she had a weird reaction to some medication and she developed some weird condition called henox and couldn't walk for a bit. It was really all in one. Between September 19 and October 20, it was like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I was trying to keep it together and I didn't want to show it on social because I was scared it was going to attract more evil eye. And she couldn't walk. We had to call an ambulance. It was fucking scary. HSP is not a joke. Am I being told? Okay, I thought she said. I thought Tiffany was telling me to wrap it up. All of that happened one week after the next in that month between September 19th and October 20th. And on top of it, I was attacked on social because when we launched Pillow Talk during the major fade line, I had put a quote on the side of the box that I thought tied in my story. I was not a drug claim at all, but I couldn't afford a claims person, so I never had it run by claims. So I just didn't know it was melasma sucks, let's get even. And then these people online were like, oh my God, she's trying to be a shy. She's overstepping her boundaries. She's a liar. But I wasn't claiming Melasma. I was just literally saying it was my story. And so I had to throw all these old boxes because I didn't want people to Think I was trying to overstep anything and reprint them. And that's why we have this quote. Now for those of you guys who don't know which is bright enough, buttercup to that asshole on social, let's get even. But basically that's how this whole thing started. With massive slaps, punches, kicks in the face, gut punches to the stomach. I wanted to quit. I was, I thought I was depressed when I got fired. Talk about depression. When you spend now I don't know how many hundreds of thousands of dollars on a skincare line that you're finally excited to launch that you think you're doing good with to being shit on by people on social who have no idea what you've gone through. Your daughter who's sick and fighting, not just. I don't want to sound dramatic, but it really did feel at one point like she was fighting for. I don't want to say, I don't want to say it. But she broke her arm. She had hsp. We were in the hospital every week. She couldn't walk. To now being hit by a multi billion dollar company for pillow talk. It was insane. So this is a story for you guys. Find yourselves a support system of people who believe in you because you're going to stop believing in yourself many times, especially if you are someone who's starting your own journey, you're going to stop believing in yourself if you're doing it right. You should probably stop believing in yourself several times because it means that you are pushing boundaries and you are really trying to do what's right. And it doesn't mean I don't have the deepest pockets in the world. I did not take any external funding. I did not even take money from my friends or family. And so for me it was all about trying to do it and to learn with the community along the way. And everything I made in my practice went into this brand. And that's it. It was just like that's how I was doing this. Right? So it's not a joke that when you're trying to do something from the ground up and to do it differently, you're going to make mistakes. And if you're not questioning yourself and you're probably not making the right choices because everyone makes mistakes. But this is a story that I hope inspires you because I didn't quit. So I ended up fighting this multi billion dollar company for a year and a half from end of September 2022 to January, 24, 2024, because I fought them at first thinking I'M not going to change my name. Who the fuck do they think that you are? So I was gonna fight them, and then I realized, holy, I'm spending so much money on Bobby, who's my lawyer, when I could be spending money on new products and developing new things and clinical studies. What am I doing? But I'm like, bobby. I'm not going to tell Bobby what I'm doing, because I want him to really put up a good fight. So Bobby kept fighting for a year and a half. Okay, we made Bobby fight. But in the background, I was like, there's no fucking way I'm gonna win this, because how am I gonna win this? And I'd rather make better products and, you know, invest in clinical research. So we decided as a team in the background, we're gonna rebrand. And we came up with naming sessions. Do we call it Bedside Manor? Do we call it Derm Undercover? Do we call it. I don't know, Nerds? Do we call it I? We came up with so many names, okay, on trying to rebrand this until finally. And the team had wanted Dr. Idris from day one, but I refused because I did not want it to be about me. I gave up. And I was like, fine, we'll call it Dr. Idris. I actually called the psychic. I said, should I call it Dr. Idris? I don't know. Because I was like, I don't want to call it Dr. Idris. I don't want it to be about me. It's not about me. But anyway, it was too expensive to now pay the lawyers and rebrand to a different name that we had to teach everybody about. So we ended up just calling it Dr. Idris and going with my name, because that's what people knew. And on January 25th. No, January 20th, January 20th, 2024, we met with the people who were suing us. And, oh, no, it was not January. That's a lie. It was more like the fall. And I made them believe that I was never going to change my name. And so we were coming up with an agreement that they wanted me to sign that had all of these, like, restrictions. You're not allowed to say this, you're not allowed to say that. If an article gets written and refers, pillow talk, Derm, you have to bring it down. You can't do this, you can't do that. And I felt like. Like, I felt like I was doing this for them. So on January 25, 2024, the day before my birthday, I did a surprise launch, and we said goodbye. Pillow Talk Derm. We had sold through a lot of our inventory on Pillow Talk Derm. And we introduced Dr. Idris, and they no longer had a case against us. And I never signed anything. I never signed anything. I never signed any sort of NDA. I never signed any sort of agreement that got my arms tied up. I could say, I'm doing a pillow Talk Derm and I'm doing a pillow Talk Der right now. And that is what we are doing. And so that is why I still say every Saturday Morning on my YouTube, welcome to Pillow Talk Derm, where we are doing a pillow talk. Even though I am not sitting in bed, I am doing a pillow Talk Derm because I choose to do a pillow Talk Derm. And so Pillow Talk Derm is you guys. It's our community. You guys are Dr. Idris, because I still call it Pillow Talk Derm. And I still have Pillow Talk Derm light in the background. And yeah, so that is how the brand started. Now. It was a huge, huge, huge blow financially, emotionally. I questioned a million times if we were going to survive. I didn't think we were going to make it, especially when we. And again, I'm taking you guys back. 2022, 2023, there was a lot of stock issues, inventory issues. Covid was still coming out, right, people, There was still problems getting stuff. We didn't have inventory, we didn't have stock. I had spent all this money. I was fighting a lawyer. I was trying to create products, keep it going. But I also didn't want to have too much products because if I ended up going into court and actually becoming a real lawsuit, I didn't want them to think, oh, my God, I'm here ordering products as Pillow Talk Derm. I wasn't, because I was trying to change the name in the background. And so it was a fucking mess. I'm not saying this so you pity me. I'm not saying this so you guys, I'm not trying to blow steam up my ass. I'm not saying any of this to try to gain, like, no, like, I don't know what that word is. Like, empathy. All, like, I'm not trying to do this for that. And I only like to talk about problems once they've been solved, you know, because once they've been solved, there's hopefully a lesson you could teach. And so, yeah, that is why I'm sharing this whole story with you. And I think it's important that I share it. Not to talk about myself, but to keep it top of mind. So A, I myself don't lose focus, right? That I share it, not to talk about myself, but to keep it top of mind. So, A, I myself don't lose focus, right? But B, you guys are also aware of what this is about. This is not about Dr. Idris, okay? All of this prettiness like this, it's easier if I go. Like, this is not about just throwing creams on your face or washing your face or, you know, like, glowing. It is about that. Obviously, that's what we're delivering, but Dr. Idris is really for every person out there who feel like they have been the underdog, who feels like they have imposter syndrome, who feels like they are never going to make it, who are, whether it's an immigrant story, a woman story, a minority story, a person who's been down on their luck story, a person who has been shit on constantly. I don't want to cry. This is what you could do. And if you don't give up on yourself, but you're not stubborn. I could have been stubborn and just continued to fight that fucking lawyer. But if you are smart and you don't give up and you pivot and you go with the current and you try to think of how you can survive, you will survive. The only people, the only people who survive and who make it are the ones who try. And so that is what this pep talk is for. So the only people who ever make it, the only people who ever survive, the only people who live to tell their stories as a success stories, are the ones who never give up. If you give up, you will fail. And that is the point of this. Live. I could have given up. Multiple times, I could have given up. There was a million reasons for me to think I was not good enough. I could have given up literally before I even started. And my husband, God bless his soul, he gave me an out when my daughter broke her arm. And we were literally in the ambulance on our way to the hospital, not because she broke her arm, but because she couldn't walk with a broken arm. I was like, child Protective services is going to call on us. They're going to think we're abusing this kid. I'm exhausted. I can't handle these haters on social, on top of everything else questioning me. And when you have imposter syndrome, it really hurts. It's like. Like, you know, it's really fucking hard. Even though I don't know them, it was the least of my worries. I was more worried about my daughter. And on top of it now, Amar, I'm making us go through a whole legal battle with a multi billion dollar company. You didn't marry me for this shit. Like I'm not here to make your life harder. And he looked at me, he goes, listen, I will marry you through every shit, but if you want to quit, I understand and I'm here to support you. And I looked at him and I was like, quit. Thank you, but no. You know what I mean. But I was endeared and touched by the fact that he gave me an out in that moment. And I think everybody deserves to have somebody who gives them an out. But it is up to you to decide whether or not you want to keep fighting or not. And I am here to tell you, if you have the support system to keep fighting for yourself, you fight, okay? But if your support system is weak and you're fighting against yourself, you pivot. Okay? That is the difference. That is the real difference. Because the goal here is for you to survive emotionally, mentally, financially and everything. I don't know if I am blabbing. I don't know if you guys are bored. I can't tell because some of you guys are quiet on the chat and there's a lot of you here. I don't know if an Internet connection is good, but I almost got a little bit teary eyed thinking about everything. We can talk about products, but that doesn't seem stupid now. But I hope this was helpful. I could go on for hours. You have an amazing story. I'm not bored at all. Tiffany says, what's Sephora? What? What am I saying about Sephora? Oh, I forgot about Sephora. We're at Sephora. That's other part of the story. Oh, that's another obstacle. I forgot about Sephora, Tiff. I forgot. I just got into the story and I forgot. I completely forgot. I completely forgot. So the Sephora part of the story. Oh my God, I completely forgot. But yeah, I, I got into the. I was like, you know when you, they tell people, when you live a traumatic experience, don't keep talking about it because your body relives it. Your body honestly relives it. And I think I just got lost in my own story. I was just thinking about my daughter. But anyway, okay. Oh God, it was so traumatic. That month after we launched Pillow Talk during was the most traumatic month of my life. And I know those screen names of those haters. I know them well. And one day. And you know what the worst part is? I'll just say this. And we're Going to move on to the Sephora story. The worst part about those haters is that out of. Don't confuse stupidity for mal intention. It was my stupidity where I put the melasma quote, where I literally put it because I thought I was tying in my story, stupidity, naive, whatever you want to call it. But don't associate. Assume mal intention because of stupidity. Right? And it was my stupidity. But the worst part is when I owned it and I fixed it and I lost money because I threw boxes out and I felt bad for the environment and I changed the quote. They never once said, you know what? Thanks for doing that. You hurt us. You fixed it. They kept shitting on me after the fact for anything else. And then I realized the haters gonna hate. You know what I mean? But I did what was right and I didn't just do it for them, but it was kind of shocking to be like, you have the audacity to go and rip a human being apart. A human being who's going through literal shit at the moment and who is putting herself in more shit to fix a mistake she made. And yet you do not have the decency or the self respect to acknowledge that human for fixing their mistake up anyway. Sephora. Sephora. So Sephora reached. Humans are so malignant. They truly are. And this is the other thing. I just want you guys to keep it off, not keep it off. Keep in mind, don't assume mal intent when it might be stupidity. Don't mistake stupidity for mal intent. Keep that in mind when you're working with anyone. Because some people might not realize it, some people might not do it on purpose, maybe it's their nice day. But I actually, having been on the stupidity side of it or the naivete side of it, I really try to keep that in mind with anyone I'm working with. Like, don't associate mal intent with stupidity. Like, maybe the person didn't say thank you because they're dumb, but it's not because they're mal intentioned. Do you know what I mean? So I just think that's something that I learned, me being on the other end of it early on. And when someone makes a genuine effort to fix something and you're the one who calls it out, say thank you, acknowledge them, and change your perspective. Always be open to changing your perspective. That's the only way you grow and learn. Okay, Sephora. Who's texting me? Okay, it's Martha. She's not there. Okay, Sephora story. So the Sephora story. So before I even launched with the skincare line. Okay. I ended up getting calls. How did they find out? They knew I was working on a line because I was talking about it on Social. And so Sephora and Target and Ulta all had calls with me. And Sephora was the one that made the most sense. And I liked Sephora and I was. I used to shop there. Target. I think it wasn't the right necessary sort of clientele at the time. With what I was doing. It just didn't align. Alto. They were also. But they were very nice, very nice people. Ulta were also like, super sweet. They're based out of the Midwest, so nice. But they actually rejected me. Ulta rejected me too. They didn't. They didn't think it aligned. But Sephora made sense. It just made sense. And so Sephora wanted to have the brand before the brand ever launched. And the brand was Pillow Talk Durham. Okay? And so we had signed with Sephora to launch with Sephora in May of 2022. I launched my product in September of 2022. So Sephora knew that I was going to launch with them before I even launched to my community. And so that was very exciting. But when I got hit with the cease and desist, I was like, you only have one shot to launch. And I knew I could potentially really piss off Sephora, but I ended up pushing back. Sephora wanted to launch in their stores in January of 2023. Who. Who did that? You know, after he did that, I haven't watched him the same. Who did that? What are you talking about? What did you. Who's. Who did what? I don't know what they're talking about. I don't know who he is, but I don't know who you're talking about. But anyway, we were supposed to launch at Sephora in January of 2023. I ended up pushing back the launch like five times, okay. To March of 2024. And they were very understanding. I was shocked. A lot of people were kind of shocked that I kept pushing it back. But the reason I pushed it back was twofold. One, you only have one chance to launch, so do it right. You know what I mean? I think people try to run and base their decisions off of hype and steam and, like, you know, it's the momentum. You gotta go. It's the momentum, it's the momentum. You gotta go, go, go. But the timing is not right. Like, you don't have all your pieces in place and you feel like you're a train about to fucking crash. And January 2023 felt like we were a train about to fucking crash. So I didn't want to tell Sephora about the legal threat happening. So I told them, we're not ready for January, we don't have enough inventory, Covid all this stuff, et cetera, we can't do it in January. And then I pushed it back four other times. I made up several excuses. I was scared that if Sephora found out about the cease and desist because that company is such a big company with them, they would either tell me, we don't want you, goodbye, or the other company might be like, kick her out. Or I don't know. And I wasn't trying to create chaos in the marketplace, quite literally. And so I was just terrified. Like, I didn't want to be in that position. And then they were going to make me sign a bigger NDA. So I was threatened legally because of Pillow Talk. And my brand used to be called Pillow Talk Derm. And so I was trying to figure out in the background, between lawyers, the bills and rebranding to Dr. Idris, when do we then announce Sephora? So then we ended up pushing Sephora to March of 2024, six weeks after we rebranded as Dr. Idris. And very honestly, I think that was the biggest blessing in disguise for the brand because Pillow Talk Derm is a mouthful. It was a very long brand name and people didn't know the community. They won't know what it's about. They won't know who I am. They don't know the doctor story. They don't know our story. And so I think when you Google Dr. Idris, you can find Pillow Talk Derm much easier than if you Google Pillow Talk Derm, understanding who it is. But I ended up launching at Sephora at 300 stores in the US in March of 2024. And then we ended up going into all stores in the US In September because of your momentum. And we had zero marketing support from Sephora. We had zero marketing support from the retailer. Everything we ended up doing was just community born, organically born. And so it was really, really, really overwhelmingly heartwarming to watch and see. And for Sephora, which is the retailer, for them to realize the power of this community was even more incredible because they literally put zero money behind me. Zero. They just said, okay, you have a space. Good luck, launch. And I said, okay. And so that's how we ended up creating this. I see who you're talking about. And he's one of the people. Quetzala chito 69. But yeah, one person who decides to shit on a colleague. But that's not the main people. There are three. There are three other big haters. They're not big people on social, but they're big haters. But anyway, that's how we ended up launching at Sephora. So my other takeaway for you guys is if you are someone who is starting a brand, if you are somebody who is starting a company, if you're starting a project, don't listen to the noise. I remember I signed Sephora feeling like, oh my God, this is too soon. Before we even launch. It didn't feel very honestly. When we signed the Sephora contract before I even launched, I was against it. I was against it because in my heart I was like, this is too soon. I don't want to be. I don't want the pressure of a retailer. Very honestly, that is what I truly in my heart felt and even said, okay. And so when we signed in May of 2022, I didn't want to be in the retailer yet. I only wanted to be a direct to consumer with you guys, talking to you guys, being in the weeds with you guys. But it was an opportunity that came up and I was told, you have to take it. You have momentum, you have to take it, you have to take it. And so I took it. But thank God for that lawsuit, because that lawsuit allowed me. To. I don't know. Jen Skywalker, what's your question? I didn't understand what your question is. The. The lawsuit allowed me to push back the retailer launch, which is what I wanted to do from the very beginning. I didn't want to be associated and defined by a retailer. I wanted really to create the brand for us and I wanted to make sure that we could hone in on the products and the experience together and indirectly. And I didn't realize it as I was living it, because I was living so much that I didn't realize it as I was living it. I was more scared that Sephora was going to end up rejecting me completely. But in the process of me actually living it, we got to live out what I had originally wanted, which was not be at a retailer. Create a brand that could truly connect with people and talk to people and live it in a way that is very, very malleable and easygoing and where we can make decisions fast together and eventually grow into this space and into the mindset of being at a retailer. And so whether I didn't intentionally create it, but we ended up launching two years later at the retailer from May of 2022. We launched March of 2024 at Sephora. And so that's how the Sephora story happened. The haters. I don't know. They could be. You know, I. I don't. Who is it who said Jim Carrey said. Somebody asked Jim Carrey. I'm very bad at retelling stories that are not my own, but somebody asked Jim Carrey, how do you deal with all the people who hate you? And he goes, you know, knowing that you go to sleep at night and there are all these people who hate you. And. And he goes, I go to sleep naked so they can kiss my ass. And I thought that was very smart and very funny. I didn't realize Jim Carrey had a lot of haters. I don't have a lot of haters, but the haters came out of the woodworks when I launched my brand, and so be it. What it is. I tried to make sure that I corrected any mistake I ever made that was unintentional, and I never even got any sort of acknowledgment of that. So I just realized they're just fucking haters. And I hate to say. Say this, probably because they have their own issues going on in their own life. It's not a me issue. It's a them issue. And so, yeah, that's the Sephora story. What did Kathy say? What did Kathy. Everyone's agreeing with Kathy. I don't know what Kathy is saying. In Tik Tok, I defend you. I am a keyboard warrior on my free time. Thanks, guys. You guys are all very sweet. I appreciate that. I just think people have their opinions based off of. And you know what's funny? This weekend, I. I posted two threads on purpose. I did one on collagen, which was overly simplified, very straightforward. One sentence. It's a thread, like a tweet, X or whatever people call it. Blue sky. I don't know. Whatever. A thread on Instagram. And the other thread. Wrap it up now. Okay, okay, okay. Tiffany says wrap it up. I'm gonna wrap it up. The other thread was much more detailed about collagen. Nobody gives a shit to read the details. People just want to jump on things and want to hate on things, and people don't want to understand, and people don't want to read, and people don't want to, like, get into the nitty gritty of things at all. At all. I think the same goes with haters. Like, when you go back and you do the work to fix something, they don't want to Go back and say thank you. They just want to have their opinion and they don't want to even be open to changing their opinion. And you as your job, I think whatever it is, is fuck them. And live your life in the most honest way and genuine way to your own moral compass and really try to do good by you and by the people around you. And the rest will follow. And don't try to win people over. That's the biggest thing. Just try to win yourself over and make sure that you can go to sleep well every single night because the right people will follow you and everyone else will stay in your dust. I think that's the last takeaway. So I hope this live was helpful. I gotta go pack. I'm going to Dubai tonight. I hope you guys learned about the truth serum. Maybe we'll have a truth serum. I don't know. I hope you guys learned about the backstory. I don't know if you did. You guys know this story? Can I just see? Yes, yes, yes. No, no, no. I'm curious if you guys knew my story. Am I repeating myself too much? Let me know if I just want to see yeses and no's. No, you didn't. No. Yes. No, no. Some parts. No, we do now. No, you didn't. Wow. Okay. No, no, no. I'm going. Okay. No, no. Okay. You see? I guess maybe we should do this more often. And again. No, no, no, Tiff, they didn't know my story, okay? A lot of people did not know this story. I tried to keep it condensed. I don't know how to say it faster because again, I relive it. And when I relive it, I get emotionally into it and it's very hard for me to dissociate from that. But I hope you guys learn something for your own lives and I hope you don't give up on your own dreams. And I hope you keep realistic expectations while living out your dreams. But always, always pivot. And with that, Dr. Idris, you guys can shop for now at Sephora. We're still there. We have not been kicked out yet. Hopefully never. And yeah, I hope this was helpful. So I am going to save the slide. I. Tiff, I don't want to end it. I don't know how to end it without deleting it. I don't want to delete this, but we're going to save this live. I'm going to be on my phone, on Instagram quite a bit, I think, over the next few days, because I'm traveling alone to Dubai. And when I don't have my kids and my husband around, I am more present on social media. How do I end this? Say bye. Okay, Bye. End stream. Bye, Chom. Okay, deporting. I don't know what this person just wrote. I'm not gonna read that. Okay, Bye. Bye. Okay, my kids and my husband around. I am more present on social. How do I end this? Say bye. Okay. Bye. End stream. Bye, Trump. Okay, deporting. I don't know what this person just wrote. I'm not gonna read that. Okay, Bye. Bye. Okay.