Winning Influence (#FIREHOUR S4, E18)

I was in such a rush to come downstairs to do my shake and to get into, like, be ready. And my hair is crazy. Oh, Diana said— Diane said staycation in Anaheim with the kiddos. Gritty says with family. I love it. Isn't it so nice to be able to just, like, have that one day to be able to, like, be like, hey, we don't usually get this extra day. How are we going to use it? How are we going to do— what are we going to do? Um, I also saw my grandpa for his birthday. Um, well, we celebrated early, but it was his, um, it's gonna be his 93rd birthday. So it was nice to be able to see him, and I hung out with some of my girlfriends, uh, that weekend. So I have been listening to— have you guys ever heard of the book called How to Win Friends and Influence People? Anyone? Anyone ever read it before or listen to the audio? Or you've heard about it many, many times and you know it's a good one, um, and you should get to it, but you just haven't yet? How to Win Friends and Influence People. So, uh, I have the book at home, um, but with me, I just, I it's hard for me to read because every time I sit down and start reading, I, I fall asleep because I think it just helps me relax so much. And it just shows me like how tired I am sometimes by the end of the night. So I have been listening to the audio. It's been taking me maybe about like a month to kind of get through it just because sometimes I want to— I want to listen to other things like the radio, not the radio, but like Spotify or what have you. And so I've been able to finally finish like the last 15 minutes yesterday, and it's something that I've been listening to for, I don't know, a month now. Um, I've listened to it before, but I don't think I fully completed it before, just because if you guys have listened to the audio before, it's like, it's kind of slow, right? Like it's a, it's like a elderly gentleman voice that's a little bit deeper, and so you just kind of want to drift off, right? And some of the stories Um, they're relevant, but they're not. I guess you can exchange some of the stories with people and situations, right? So I got through it and I was like, you know what, this book is really good if you just hang in there and listen to the main points that the person is making. And, uh, from listening to it, I've just been doing my best to be self-aware when I have conversations with people. Uh, usually You know, when we talk to people, we don't really listen or we're only listening to respond, right? Or like have a comeback to say to someone as opposed to really listening to understand, you know, what is this person saying? So in the book How to Win Friends and Influence People, I'm just going to go over a couple of the points today because I thought it was a really, really good book when it comes to leadership and communication. And I finally finished the last 15 minutes yesterday. So Tiffany says, I have it but haven't read it. I have the book too. I haven't read it, but I did the audio. Sometimes it's easier for me to listen to audios while I'm driving or what have you, or taking a walk. And so, you know, one of the chapters is it basically, it says, you know, techniques in handling people, right? And I would say that these are all things that I've like made mistakes on before just because I wasn't aware and I didn't know any better, right? And sometimes we're not put in a leadership position, right? But in this business, we're all put in a leadership position at some point in time, regardless if we have someone on our team or not, right? And if we have someone on our team, We have to step it up rather quickly and learn how to become that leader that they need to guide them. And if you don't have anyone on your team yet, like, this is what to expect. So why not start acting right now, right? Because we have kids and we have communities and we have other people in our lives. We could always show up as a leader. And so the techniques in handling people, right? So don't criticize, condemn, or complain. Instead, focus on understanding others' perspectives, right? So sometimes if someone comes to you and you criticize them, or you see them doing something and you're like, oh, I don't think that you should do that, um, instead of, you know, criticizing them first for like, or pointing out what they're doing wrong, and it's not because you're doing it, you know, intentionally to hurt their feelings or to point out that they're wrong. Sometimes it's just because you're trying to set them on a different path, right? A correct path, the path that you know, uh, that works, right, based on your experience. Um, considering other people's perspectives and their interests and focusing on what they want and what they need and actually listening to them as opposed to criticizing or condemning them or complaining, right? Sometimes when we just take the time to be able to listen to them, we actually find where their chokehold is or what their problem is or what they're coming to you about in the first place, and we're able to you know, solve it or we're able to talk them through it. And so the next thing is giving honest and sincere appreciation, right? So when people are— people are more motivated by praise than they are by criticism, right? Like how many times have you been in a situation where you've had different bosses or different leadership and one person is criticizing you for all the things that you're doing wrong, But another person is actually, you know, is actually giving you sincere appreciation for all the things that you're doing right, right? So which one feels better and which one makes you feel that you're— this is something that you want to repeat? And so there was actually a study done with animals, and, um, the animals that were rewarded for good behavior actually did better than the animals that were, um, you know, disciplined for bad behaviors or what what have you. And so this kind of just shows it's the same thing with us, right? Like, if someone actually is like, oh hey, like, you're doing a good job, or like, that's great, or I see that improvement, or I liked how you did this, you're highly likely going to repeat that behavior or repeat that action, right, that got you, um, that praise, as opposed to even if, um, if someone criticizes you. So even if, you know, maybe it was something that you did incorrect— I mean, we're, we're all adults here, like, we can take accountability for our own actions Even if someone criticizes us for something that we know we did wrong, like to hear that criticism, it's like our ego kind of comes up and defends us to block that. Right. And so, you know, even though we were wrong, it's like all of a sudden it's like you're not going to like that person. Right. And that person's like, I don't get it. Like, I like that was true. Right. And now they're resenting you. So I think that that was like a good point. Right. The next thing in technique— techniques in handling people is you want to arouse the other person in an eager want. So understanding their desires and interests, right? Like what's in it for them? Not just what's in it for you and what do you want for yourself or what do you want for them, but what do they want, right? Like what do they want in life? Did you know what they want? Did you ask them what they want? Did you listen to hear So-and-so is looking for this, right? And so knowing what they want to be able to better align your interests and their interests is going to get you guys much further, right? When you are actually asking them like, hey, why are you doing like in this business? Like, hey, why are you doing this? Like, what are you looking for? And maybe someone's like, I just want to put food on the table. I just want to be able to cover this week's groceries. You know, gas prices are getting expensive and being able just to get one, you know, make enough to just cover one tank a month is, is the minimum, right? So actually listening to what they want and guiding them at where they're at. So, um, the next thing that I read was ways to make people like you. So, you know, I know some of us are like, introverted and we don't talk to a lot of people. But in this business, we actually start to talk to a lot of people. We start to become really self-aware of ourselves and how we react to certain situations. And we're in the people business, right? And even if you weren't in this business, you're going to be around people all the time, everywhere and anywhere you go. So how do you make people like you, right? People love themselves. Actually. They really, really love themselves. And so when you're genuinely interested in others, um, and you show curiosity and you listen, they tend to like you more, even though you're not talking about you. So you're not talking about yourself and what you've done and all your accomplishments and who you are and blah, blah, blah. You're asking them who they are. You're genuinely curious, like, where did this person come from? Who are they? What drives them? What motivates them. Like, why are they here? Or why did they start to take the product? Like, what was going on in their lives? Or why did they want to start to promote, right? So, um, one of the ways to have people like you or become a more likable person is to become genuinely interested in them and ask questions. And when you ask a question, take the time to listen to what they're actually saying. And if you're like me, sometimes I like drift off or I forget, like take notes, you know what I mean? Like it's, it's not a bad thing to take notes on a person, right? Because sometimes you forget, or if you're talking to like 20 people, you're going to forget, right? So if you take notes about them and circle back on that specific topic in the next conversation, they're going to be like, wow, this person actually listened and thought about what I said last time. They actually remember what I said. I must— like, they're going to feel important to you, right? So take notes. I have a project management board. We all have notes in our phones. Like, take notes of their birthdays. I remember when I used to talk to, like, a lot, a lot, a lot of people, I would always ask when their birthday was because for me, like, that was a good time to be able to touch base with them. And I would always ask, like, hey, like, what— by the way, like, when's your birthday? You know? And as soon as they told me, I would, like, put it in my phone. And whenever that year came up, I would just text them and just be like, oh, hey, like, happy birthday. Like, I hope you're going to have like a great day. Or like, what are you doing today? What are your plans? And they would actually be very surprised, right? Because it was just that one time that you asked them, you took the note, and then when their birthday came around and you actually had a reminder and you just sent them a simple text like that means so much to people. Because sometimes, you know, they don't know if you remembered or not, but it's just that simple act of kindness of actually, um, being considerate of someone. It's a, it's, it makes them feel special. Sometimes if you remember their kids and their dog's names too, right?

Well, I also like just to add to that, cuz that's, that is great, you know? Um, the, just the act of doing that, like the act of taking notes, the act of actually caring, you're putting effort. Right? That's effort right there. And so when you, when you put effort in, the effort shows. It does show. So that simple thing, it goes, extends to everything, right? There's a quote, they say, how you do one thing is how you do everything, or how you do most things. Guess what? This right here, if you, if you take notes and you're taking notes right now, for example, with Fire Hour, same thing. Like when you're connecting with someone and authentically connecting, like realistically being real and raw and building that real relationship. Then from there, if you wanted to take notes, like mental notes or even physical notes, in the next conversation, something might spark, or you might remember something, or something might fire, um, something inside your mind where it's like it connects the two different dots. So there, there's so many different variables that happen, but the cause of everything and the, and the effect of everything just is determined by your, your efforts. So That's a great— I think that's a great idea, you know?

Yeah. People like thoughtful people, you know, that really took the time to understand them and care about what they want or what they like. Angela says that she has Postable. Yes, I remember Postable. It's so good. She has all of her customers and team fill it out and it emails you when it's their B-day. That is gold, right? That is gold. So this is part of her system, right? And I know some of us have that same system as well. I think we were introduced to Postable maybe like 4 or 5 years ago, right? And it just makes it really easy to get someone's information. So if you wanted to mail them a sample, mail them a little something, email them happy birthday, it's like your system is automated to be able to do that. So not necessarily like you have a reminder, right, on your phone that tells you, hey, like you need to do this today. Because sometimes I will admit, like things slip by, right? Like I have a reminder for like everyone's birthdays and sometimes it slips by, right? Because just the day gets hectic or what have you. So having an automated system, you know, that automatically emails someone is great, right? And that comes with starting from the beginning, right? Every contact that you make, you ask them. And then—

Crazy notes.

Well, I mean, like, I put this together because I was like, I'm not going to remember everything. And I want to make sure that, like, I break it down so you guys could take notes very easily, right? Like, I'm a bullet point type of person, so I have things in bullet point format and, like, little sentences.

Um, that's good. Really good.

So, smile. A simple smile can create a positive impression. Have you guys ever noticed when you're just having a good day and you're walking around and you're smiling, or even a stranger is just like, you're just passing by a stranger. When you smile at people, they smile back, right? Like most of the time, right? And if they don't, don't take it personal. They're probably going through something, has nothing to do with you. But if you're just smiling at people, you know, they tend to smile back and they feel good and it feels good to feel good. So being self-aware if you're smiling or not, right? And I used to do this too. Like, I used to just have like a straight, like, RBF face. And it wasn't because of anyone else on the other side. It was just like I was resting. And so Chad would be like, hey, your face. And I'm like, what? Like, I wasn't aware. So now I do my best to remind myself, like, to smile. And when you smile, it triggers something in your body and it just makes you overall happy. Happier, right?

Um, yeah, it's true actually. Like if you— I, I for— there's something with the psychology behind it. Maybe someone knows, but if you just literally act as if, right? It's the, the framework act as if. So if you're feeling down or you're feeling, you know, if you're feeling anything that is not happy, then force yourself to smile. And when you do smile, it's gonna—

it—

something happens inside and it actually just Oh, it releases endorphins. Thank you. Nice. And so from there, it, you know, that one act, that one decision, that one act of doing it, it changes everything. It changes the within, right? So that is, just try that out. Okay. Try it for yourself. And it's, it's so weird because if you're not feeling happy or you don't wanna feel like smiling, it's obviously like very, like you have to kind of force it. But once you do force it, then everything else changes and the snowball effect starts to like happen. The compound effect starts to happen. So like smiling is really contagious. And not only that, but it's also like something that will help you. It's going to, it's only going to benefit you basically. And then the ripple effect that is created from that, it goes on and on. It's so simple though. No, some people need it. So I'm telling you right now, it's so simple, but it's helped me, you know, it's helped me a lot. Um, especially when going to network, when connecting, like sometimes I don't want to go network or connect. And but it's for business. And so guess what? Like, I got to act as if and put myself in a different state so that way I can execute, so I can take action, so I can actually cause the best and greatest effect possible. Right.

So, yeah, because if you think about it, like, if you see people, who are you going to gravitate towards? Like someone that's, you know, smiling and laughing and it's like having a good time and you're like, what are they happy about? Like, what's going on? Like, I want to be there. Or are you going to gravitate towards someone like who has the RBF face, who is like kept to themselves? Like, in the corner, right? Like you're going to gravitate towards the person that's smiling and that's laughing. And it was just funny because, well, okay, before I move on, but the ripple effect, right? Like when you smile at someone or you're just smiling for whatever reason, no reason at all, just to smile and people see you, they smile back. And when someone smiles back at you, like you feel good and you're like, oh my goodness, like they're happy or they smiled back and then you feel like smiling even more. So it's kind of like having that like reciprocated effect throughout your day, right? Smiling about nothing. And okay, so Virg says, our scientist says when you smile, you increase your own endorphins and it takes less energy than frowning.

Oh, really?

I didn't know that. I was always like, oh, I don't want to get wrinkles. So I always kept my face straight. But you guys hear his laugh like He has a signature laugh. And so I used to think that he did it on purpose because he would do this laugh out of nowhere and I would look at him and I'm like, when did you start doing that? Like, when did you make up that laugh? Like, because there's a specific laugh that he does, right? Like, I'm like, when did you make that up?

Give my secrets away.

I'm like, it sounds made up. And he was just like, you know, people want to have a good time and people want to be around positive energy. And so I think that you even thought that it was something that you do on purpose until our daughter started laughing like that. She literally laughs like him, and I'm like, oh my gosh, she laughs like you. It's not something that you do on purpose. It's like, what is it?

My laugh?

It's like, it's like your genes. I'm like, it's like, it's instinctual. It's like a natural laugh that you have.

Scott, the persuasion laugh.

Well, apparently our daughter has a persuasion laugh too, so she laughs literally the same way he does, and it's just so funny.

I've actually got that, like, I remember one of my old business partners when we first met, because he had like his guard up against me because he saw me as competition when I first entered like the company that recruited me to help them scale. And so I remember, I remember after we started to build our relationship, like, really strong, he actually asked me about my laugh. He was saying, bro, like, I always— because I was also, like, always smiling because I was just genuinely happy. And so he actually asked me, like, one day he asked me, he asked me, um, yo, like, why are you, like, laughing like that? Like, is it— is that for real?

Or—

because I'm always curious. But after he got to know me, he realized that it was just— it was real. It's just true. And like, it was just so funny because I get that all the time. Like, people do ask me, and the laugh is real.

The laugh is real. It's not made up. Our daughter literally has the same exact laugh. It's so funny hearing it from a little person. Um, okay, and let's see. Goody says, I love smiling. Yes, you do. If you guys ever see Goody, like, you'll always catch her with like a huge smile on her face, right? And like her eyes are always like lit up, right? And laughing all day. Yes. And if you guys hear Angela, you'll usually hear her like down the hallway or like on the other side of the room because she's always laughing, right? Like it's always good to be around her. So Virge says, I'm literally always smiling even when I'm upset. Try to smile, make myself feel better. Yes, you are always smiling. You're always smiling and your eyes are like always like glimmering too. It must be like a family thing. Rach says, I laugh when I'm happy and nervous and scared. Yeah, I get that too. I see people like that when they're nervous or scared. They're like laughing and it kind of just like helps you feel better, right? People talk— Ruby says, people talk about my laugh all the time. Yes, you have a very distinct laugh, right? Like, it's— when I hear you laugh, it's like very funny. And Julian, you can also hear a smile through the phone when talking. Yes. So there's this saying in sales or even in collections, and it's called smile and dial. Have you guys heard that before? Smile and dial. So every time before you pick up your phone, smile and dial, right? Like, or if you're picking it up and you're not dialing the number, right? But you're about to pick up, like, smile. Because so when you talk to people, it kind of starts that conversation off like this is a good conversation. It's positive. So whatever's coming your way, it's going to be like a bit eased, right?

Yeah, that was like a— that's an old-school sales tactic because I remember when I used to do phone sales, I, I did like over 1,000 phone sales. So when it comes to phone sales, like, I have some experience with it. I have a lot of experience with it. But one of the things that we had to do, and I had to teach other people as well, is exactly that. It's smile— like, smile and dial. It's smile. So that way the other person on the other end can literally feel like you genuinely want to talk to them. But not only that, there's so many more like little inflections of influence that come with the smiling process because people can literally like feel it. They get like, they can feel your energy through the phone whether they know it or not, whether they believe it or not. So smiling through the phone is like, it's really like, it's important. Same thing with DMs, okay? This, you can use this in DMs. Like when you do a voice DM, like, boom, like, same thing.

I thought you meant smile and like message the person. No, I was like, I was literally thinking, oh, I wonder how that works. I never tried that before. I never started smiling and then like messaging someone. I mean, I do, but like, not purposely. Like, it's just I'm already like, you know, thinking about it.

I see Crystal, she's like this and she's smiling. And I'm like, who are you talking to? But it's literally all of you. I'm like, it's just so funny to see.

Yeah, he's always like, what's happening? What are you doing? And I'm like, nothing.

It's so funny. It's just funny though to just observe, be an observer. All right. Jovina says, yes, people's laughs can be contagious. I also love Angela's laugh. I always have to smile or laugh when I watch your videos. That's true.

Everyone loves Ruby's laugh. Ruby, just come on right now. We'll unmute you and just start laughing.

That's awesome. Telephone customer service skills. Yes, you know. Oh, wow. Mercedes used to give us a mirror and they told us to look into it and smile before we pick up the phone.

Oh, that is so funny. That is gold right there. Oh, yeah. Because we used to work at Mercedes. I remember we were talking in San Diego at the Thrive and Mingle not too long ago, and she said she used to work at Mercedes. That is interesting. That is top-notch customer service right there.

That's good.

That is fine. Let's go. Now we need to go get mirrors and put it in. Yeah.

Actually, you know what? That's, that's actually, that's actually one of the tactics. I completely forgot about that.

Well, now we need mirrors because literally this is the psychology behind it.

I'm not going to explain psychology behind it, but basically, if you look at yourself in a mirror, like, what do you see? Right? And then when a customer, like a client comes in, what do they see? So the goal is to actually, for everyone who is a customer support rep or, you know, just front desk, anything, anyone that is client facing, like client relations, etc., actually having a mirror is, it's a 20% that gets 80% done because it's always adjusting your state. It's like, it's, there is a psychological trigger that you can activate and anchor within you. To that so that way you can actually change your state and correct it over time to make it a habit and make it instinctual. And then from there, sales should increase.

All right, y'all pull out your mirrors.

Just kidding about this.

Pull out your mirrors before you pick up a call or make a phone call.

I was just kidding about the sales increasing, but it does help. Okay. With the client relationship, I feel like it should though. No, it does.

It does. You know, people want to be happy and they want to be around happy people. So if you're always happy, you're calling them, you're checking on them, and when you're talking, you're smiling and they can feel that energy. They're going to feel good. And if they feel good, they are going to be like, oh, I should refer my friend. Like, this is like a good feeling, right?

That's actually what happens. So over time, the horizon, it does increase sales because the energy that you are reflecting, okay, the energy that you're reflecting out, it will bring back in more, more clients, okay? More new, new, new customers. But it's a longer horizon. Okay. Some people don't like pay attention to that. They don't think that it matters., but in truth, okay, if we think long-term and strategically, in truth, what happens to your employee or the, you know, the client, the front desk, like it within the, if they continue to rebuild and refine their skills, right? The, just the intangible skill sets. Guess what happens? They get better. They're happier. They're more fulfilled. They love their job. They do, they perform better. Everything happens just with one little thing., right? And then from there, that's just the employee. And then there's more benefits to that long term if they continue to that habit, right? But the, on the other side, on the other side, like your coworkers, right? Everyone who's a staff member, they also benefit too because the culture is starting to, the foundation of the culture is shifting and it's being set in the proper foundational framework where the long-term horizon benefit, like really benefits everyone. Okay, that's just the coworkers. And then from there, not only that, but the clients, the environment, everything starts to shape just from one little thing. So having that one mirror can, can do all this. Does that make sense? Literally that one mirror, that one thing, there is multiple benefits over a long term, a long horizon, right? And guess what? Like we want to think long term and set the foundation right. So actually having that is, is gold.

Yeah. And you know what this brings? So yesterday, like when I went for my massage, I was talking to a girl at the front desk, right? And she was smiling and she was so happy, which is great because you're at a place where you're trying to relax and you want good energy. And I was asking her like, hey, like, where did you work before? You know, like, and she was like, oh yeah, like I worked at, you know, another massage place before. And I go, you know, which place did you like better and why? Because I'm always asking people questions. And when I ask them questions, it's really things that I do want to know, like I care to know, right? So when I ask them questions, it's something I care to know. It's going to come out more genuine, right? Like I wouldn't be like, oh, do you have any pets? Do you have any dogs? Because I don't have a dog, right? So what am I going to talk to you about? Like, you know, I'm going to ask you a question that I'm actually genuinely interested in. And so she's like, okay, well, what I like about this place versus the last place was that everyone here is really happy. It's a really good environment. I love coming to work and I like everyone here. Everyone feels like a team. Everyone's always doing their best to help each other, and there's just good energy. We're always smiling and laughing with each other. And she goes, my last place, it wasn't like that, you know. Um, it was not like— people were not happy and the environment wasn't good. So I like this place better. And so for me, I was like, it's something so simple and it's so small, it can get overlooked so easily, but that little thing makes all the difference, right, in your home. In your work life, in your community, in wherever and wherever you go, right? So maybe if you go to a place where people are not happy, maybe you can be that energy of positivity and excitement and you can start that smile and start that little ripple effect because it doesn't take much effort, right?

So exactly.

Moving on to the next point. But that was a good one, right? Like so small. Abby, I type how I speak a lot of exclamation exclamation points and emojis. Yeah, you do do that. Like you're always happy and smiling and positive. And have to double take to see if it's Goodyear and— oh yeah, when you hear that they have the same laugh, right? They do. I think I could tell the difference though. Yeah. And B says, absolutely help my sales and even collections. Okay. So you were in collections before. That is so funny. I think we did talk about that before. But yeah, like I had a collection shop with my ex before. And yeah, it was, it was smile and dial, even though it's an unhappy situation, because when you put a little bit of positivity on it, like, you're going to get— it's going to get reciprocated, right? Yeah.

So Angela says, I see love. Yes, that's good.

So the next one. Oh, love that. Be Louise Hay started the mirror work so you can love yourself first. Oh, yes. Oh, that is so good. Trish says Dana Chuba handed out mini mirrors at the last palooza and said the same thing. Yes. Wow. So, and you're all, and you're all good that with the videos you do. New era mirror. Angela says heart-centered, transformational servant leader, intuition, vision, authenticity. Love, optimistic purpose, values, resilience, nurture, culture, and celebration. How I see myself is how I see others. I spend 80% of my time self-developing. Get to know yourself. When you really feel it, that's how you show up every day. Yes, it starts with yourself first, right? Like, how are you feeling and why are you feeling that way? Because if you don't do the work on yourself, then everything that you touch and everyone that you touch, it will reflect, right? And so this business, you usually have to develop yourself a lot more, right? Because you can say all the right things, you can do all the right things, but at the end of the day, if you don't feel good, then like it's going to mean nothing to you, right?

Yeah. And you know, like one of the beauty, one of the beautiful and just, just fire things basically about like this industry specifically about network marketing is that as a traditional business owner, you have to worry about everything in the backend, all the infrastructure, the fires, the bills, etc. There's so many things, right? But when it comes to network marketing, like direct sales, all you have to worry about is marketing, sales, operations, right? And, and operations, I mean, like your team, like building that relationship, building up the people, building up the team, etc. But then it's just marketing as well for income-producing activities. And then it's sales, which comes with marketing. And so those are really just the 3 things that you got to focus on, right? If you always want to refine the systems, the operations, it's with systems. But guess what? That leaves a lot more time and room and energy to actually work on something else. And that something else is yourself, right? If you think about traditional business owners, like sometimes you don't, they don't have time to work on themselves. Because they don't make the time because they're so busy putting out fires. But when it comes to, you know, this business right here that, you know, everyone who has Thrive basically or is in direct sales and network marketing, you have time, you can create time to work on yourself. And it's actually important to do that. And the reason why it's because when you continue to get success, right, when you're, when you're hitting success in network marketing and you've never been in a leadership position before or you've never worked on the leadership skills, else, like you've never, like, developed your leadership, right? Guess what? What happens, and this is what you will notice, okay? I want everyone to understand this because I'm just speaking from experience, but you will notice in every single team environment, right? When a leader is rising, if there's no leadership development or leadership mastery in place, there's no intention behind it, then guess what happens? Eventually the team, like the people that, like, you're essentially helping and serving, they will start to feel some type of way. And it's, guess what? It's only because like the leadership, it's the skill of leaders. It's the skillship, the skill of leadership. That's it. When you become a better leader, your people will naturally become better themselves because there's a, with John C. Maxwell, one of his leadership laws, right? It's the law of the lid. And what he talks about, the perfect example for him is when he says that a leader is like development and skill set is right here, everyone, everyone on your team is going to be capped right there. He literally goes like this. So if you're— if your skill set is right here in terms of being a leader, right, everyone that is following you and that's on your team, their skill set may cap where you are at. And so that's why, like, everything rises and falls in leadership, because you are the one that's leading the ship. And everyone here is a leader, okay? Just don't get me wrong, everyone here is a leader. You're leading your own life. You're leading your own ship, which is your life. So how high do you want to go? Like, how— what cap do you want to be at when it comes to your leadership development and skill set and mastery? Do you want it to be just right here? And then do you want everyone that follows you, like, to cap out right here? Or do you want to continue to raise the bar? Like, how high do you want to go, right? So there's no limit to it though. That's the thing. There's no limit. But that's only when you start to work on yourself. And also not only that, but there's, there's two things, right? One is just by like the knowledge that we're speaking. So maybe, maybe you've never experienced it yet though, right? You haven't, you don't have the wisdom. You have the knowledge but not the wisdom. When you have the wisdom, when you have the experience, now it's a different story because your lens starts to change. Your perspective on leadership starts to change because when you have to be that leader for others now, not just yourself, now you're invoking wisdom because you're learning through experience. And now this is a different game. Okay. There's a different level when you start to lead other people, because now everything that, everything that you do, people are always watching now. Yeah. They're every little thing watching and listening, watching, listening, and also talking. And so you have to be very mindful and intentional and not only that, but very masterful with how you act yourself. Yeah. It's how you act. And so there's so many more things that we can go on when it comes to that, but that's just just so we can keep moving. But as a leader, especially in network marketing in this industry, like, again, like the all of the reason why we have Fire Hour and, you know, one of the reasons, the main reasons is for leadership development is to work on the best project, which is you. The best project you'll ever work on in your entire life is you. So and not only that, but there's a quote that I really love. Like if like for things to change, you have to change, right? But when you change, you change the world. Because you're being the change that you wish to see in the world. And if you continue to reflect things that you don't like to see in the world, then you have to just point back to yourself. Like, what do you need to work on then?

Yeah.

Who do you need to become in the process to affect the world in the way that you want to see it? Right. So this is all directly correlated to you, to leadership, to everyone in the world.

Yeah.

If everyone in the world changed themselves for the better, the world would change for the better.

Yeah.

Right? And that's the work. That's why it's so difficult because people don't wanna work on themselves. Yeah. Right? Why is the world the way it is right now? It's because people are not working on themselves. That's it. It's that simple. But imagine, imagine a world where people actually cared about other people. They actually cared about themselves and others and the future and everything else in between. What would we see? What would, like, what would happen in the world? Right? And before, like, never before in history, okay, in history has there been social media where the world is more connected than ever before. This is the moment in time where we can change the world, change the future. We can change the future for our gen— the generations to come. This is the time in history that's never been done before where everyone is connected worldwide, globally through one device, a phone. Guess what? Now is the time to change. Now is the time for everyone to change and step up. Now is the time for everyone to do the work to actually see the things that they want to see in the world. That's why we're doing the nonprofit. This is— there's so many different things that happen, but everything is aligned, okay? Everything is aligned. That's why I'm so fired up, and I believe 100% that we can change the world through our nonprofit, through the work that we do within. Who's with Like, let's get it, you know? So I'm fired up. All right, I'm fired up because I just know what we have in our hands. All right, I know what we have in our hands. I know what we can do in the world. I know what we can change in the world. And that's why I'm so passionate about what— about human transformation, about life change, about helping other people become better, about helping other people get what they want, what they desire, helping other people go after their goals and dreams. Because I truly believe that it's possible. Because I am the catalyst to change. I am the human catalyst to change. You are too. That's why you're here. FIRE is life transformation. FIRE is transformation. It's change. It's life change. Why not you? What are you going to do today to make it happen? To make a difference in the world? To make a difference in your life? What are you gonna do to inspire the masses? What are you gonna do to inspire yourself? It's possible, 100%. Anything that you think, you can imagine, you can see, you can visualize, you can believe in, it's possible by your actions, your decisions, the things that you take action on. It's possible, 100%. I believe in you, all right? I believe in you. I believe in all of you. You guys got this. Do whatever it is that you want to manifest in this reality, in this world, in this time right now. It's possible.

And it starts with you.

Let's get it.

But yeah, someone was saying like, yeah, like the way you are and the way you act, it's like you, you're reflecting that with your clients, right? Like with your future customers. And guess what? Your future customers that absolutely love thrive, they are probably going to be your future promoters, right? So how would you want them speaking to their customers? Right. And how do you want your promoters speaking to their promoters? Right. So like what Shen was saying, like the change starts within you first, right? And you reflect it outwards and whatever you see outwards, that's what you're— that's what you're feeling inwards, right? So you can look at one person and you can be like, wow, this person's so great. Like, they're amazing. And you start listing off like like all these great attributes about them, right? And that's what you see in them because guess what? That's what you see in yourself, right? It's like a self-reflection. Someone else could see the same person and they could be like, wow, this person is like this or this person's negative or this and that. But maybe it's like the mirror reflecting back at you. Like if you're only spotting those things and not just the good, not all the good things, then maybe that's what's happening, right? Sometimes what's happening in our lives, our frustration or our stress is what we see outwards. But the thing is, it's not even outwards, right? Just inwards. So taking the time to personally develop yourself in order to become a lot more self-aware when you go out there and you talk to people and you see people. Sometimes you don't think that people know what's going on within, but they do because the way you speak, the way you move, and your energy will reflect that, right? And so we're always constantly working on ourselves because we're like, am I being aware of my energy and what I'm putting out there? And when I say things, am I saying it with like love and compassion, or am I saying it because I'm upset? You know, like I'm envious or whatever. Like, so really taking the time to slow down and self-reflect, right?

Yeah.

And the next thing— and Lena says, that's why we're different here. A lot of folks refuse to acknowledge their toxic behaviors. Simple truth that is hard for many. And it's so true. And like, can we say— can we honestly say that we've never been toxic ourselves? Else, right? I don't think so, right? Because we've all done something that we didn't like, that we didn't— when someone else did it, we're like, ew, I don't like that. But it's like, well, maybe we were that toxic person ourselves, right? And so it's looking at all the parts within you, the good, the bad, the ugly, right? Because no one is perfect here. No one, no one is perfect. Like, we're not perfect, right? Um, there's things that we constantly have to work on within ourselves and our relationship because is, you know, we're not, we're not always the perfect one, right? At some point you have to take accountability for the things that you say and the things that you do, right? Because you can say all the right things, but if you're not doing and acting with those things, then it doesn't matter, right? Because people will see your actions, and your actions will always speak louder than your words. That's why we constantly have to work on ourselves in order to make sure that the words that we say are the actions we also reflect, right? And if someone says something about you, good or bad, it's okay, but actually listen and take the time to be like, well, if this person said that about me, that person said the same thing about me, maybe it's a me thing. Like, maybe I am doing that. Like, maybe I should just, you know, be self-aware. Because sometimes we're on this subconscious programming and every day we're repeating the same cycle, the same thoughts, right? We have hundreds of thousands of thoughts or, you know, 50,000, 60,000 thoughts every single day. And it's usually the same thing over and over again. So what are we going to keep seeing. So there comes a certain point where we kind of have to like stop and like break ourselves like out of that like robotic system where it's like breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, work, sleep, entertain, drink my ass off, get drunk, and then have fun. And then the next day, forget. Not that I drink. We haven't drank, right?

But I don't drink.

But most of the time when you look, that's how most people live their lives, right? Like they eat their 3 meals or 2 meals a day. They go to work. They go to sleep and they entertain themselves. Right. And most of the time they don't like what they do. They don't love what they do, like how we love what we do with who we do it with. So, you know, they have to intoxicate themselves or do something really, really fun to like make up for all the things that they don't like. So the self-awareness.

Yes, exactly. It's just lack of self-awareness. That's it. Lena says self-awareness is the first step to change and grow to be the best version of ourselves. Exactly. 100%.

Yanis says, I didn't even realize how grumpy I was until I started taking Thrive. My mood changed so dramatically. Now people say they don't even recognize me anymore.

Yes. Good job.

Someone said I was the grumpy Care Bear before. Didn't know vitamins could do this. Yes. And it's gut health, right? When we take care of our gut health, our microbiome, our moods can change, our hormones can change. So, I mean, and maybe most of you might not know this, or maybe you do now, but your gut health is so important. The microbiome that is going on within your gut is important. It changes your— it affects your mood, which is your behavior, your attitude. It affects how healthy you are. You know, like, are you always getting sick? Are you always tired? Are you always this, that, and the other thing? And a lot of people, they don't know that. So it's kind of like they're asleep. Asleep, right? They're asleep in their day-to-day. And then once they put Thrive in their bodies and they start getting healthier and their, you know, their gut health starts getting better, they're happier, they're lighter. People are like, who are you? Who is this person? They— when, when people on the outside start to tell you of all the changes and the differences they see, it's like night and day. Like, you know, you have gold in your hands and you're like, who else can I wake up? Who else can I help? Like, who else is feeling that way that doesn't even know that they're feeling that way, but they can feel better, right? And we start to kind of just reflect that on the outside and we start that ripple effect. So good for you. That is so funny. The grumpy Care Bear.

That's powerful.

So I know we veered off topic a bit.

That's awesome.

But I think it's all like, I think it's all dealing with leadership, right? Yeah. So going back to the book and this is something that I'm guilty of, I'm going to be the first to admit it. But I admit it, but remembering a person's name, like I can get introduced to 5 people and I'm like, oh my goodness, like I just forgot pretty much all of their names, right? But someone's name is very important to them because it's who they associate themselves to be, right? So if you say their name incorrectly or you spell their name incorrectly, they're automatically like, oh, right. And they can't help it. Like it just is what it is, right? And so remembering a person's name, it's like the a person's name is like the sweetest word to them. And so if you can use people's names to make them feel important, you'll see the change in them. And so this is what I've started doing, just because I tend to forget. This is one of the things that I do. So if someone introduces me, and I'll ask them how they spell their name. That's actually a trick that I do. I go, okay, like, how do you spell your name? Like, even though it might seem like such a generic name, I always ask, "How do you spell your name?" And I do that because while they're spelling their name, I'm taking that moment to be able to hear them say their name again, and then them spell it, and then me repeat it in my head or out loud. So that's kind of a little trick that I do sometimes when they introduce, and I'm just like, "Oh shoot, I just forgot their name." And another thing is when I go to the grocery store, or when I'm in some type of store, or I'm somewhere, and I can see a name tag, I always thank the person and I say their name as I thank them, or I ask them like, oh, hey, so-and-so, like, how's your day? Right? And they're always shocked or surprised that someone called them by their name. Right? But it's just there. And so that's something else that I've been doing a lot of just because it makes people feel good. And when they feel good, they're happy. And when they feel good and they're happy, they radiate— they radiate that. And I get to feel that that too, right? So it's reciprocated, um, and it's also helping me with, you know, the memorization of names and putting faces to names. Um, so yeah, Vita.

Oh, there's a lot of—

oh, here, let's go. Um, okay, so, and okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is really good. Um, so Vita says, I had a professor who said my name wrong the whole semester and I just stopped correcting him after the first month. It happens, right? And so imagine, like, if we do that to someone else, like, how would they feel? And then Abby says— Abigail says, so good, I'm going to try that today at work. Yeah, saying people's name, repeating it, like, they— you'll see them light up. You'll see their face kind of smile, like, oh, you said my name, right? And then Cherry says, a trick when you forget their name, you say, what's your name again? They say it thinking, wow, they forgot my name. And they— and then you say 'Oh no, your last name,' so they think you remembered it. That's— I've never heard that trick before.

I've heard that one.

Oh really?

Yeah, it's a networking trick. Oh, um, networking tactic, not trick, but you know.

Okay, so I don't know how to pronounce that. Abri.

The lights, like, in my—

Yes, my name is unique, thank you, and most don't pronounce correctly. I used to not care, then realize this is my name, so I make the effort to help pronounce it correctly. Yes, you see, so not taking things personally and being like, I care how people say it, so I'm just gonna say it correctly so they can say it correctly. I love that. Thank you. I'm, I'm Anja's Beth for a while. Oh, Beth instead of B. Odette, my 8-year-old daughter does that everywhere we go. She looks at everyone's name tags and says, have a great day and says their name. It's the cutest thing. Oh, that is so sweet. Yes, teaching your children while they're young, you know, and when they see you do it, they're gonna do it. Like, your children, they're always watching, so it doesn't matter what you say to them. They're like, but I just saw you, right? And they're so honest, and, and that's the thing that I love about kids is when you're young, you're very honest. What you, what you see is what you say, right? And if how an adult reacts, it's like, that's them. Like, it's a them thing, right? Like how they're reacting. But it's like, I never want to have my children not reflect their truths based on how someone else's reaction is of the truth, right? Like, so I'm always like, I always tell my kids, I'm like, adults aren't always right because I was raised to respect adults, right? Like my culture, the Asian culture, it's always like you respect your elderly, respect your elderly. And yes, there is respect your elderly, right? Like there's a difference between respecting them but knowing like, are they right? Are they wrong? They tell me not to lie and they just lied, right? And so I always tell my kids like, yes, you should respect adults, you should respect other people, but at the same time, don't think that just because someone's older than you that they're right or that they're correct, right? I always say watch what people do instead of what they say, because what they say is what they want you to hear and what they want you to think of them. But what they do is who they actually are and what they are actually doing. There's a big difference, right? And so I said, when you see that, like, that's it. Just, just take a note and move on. But understand that, like, that's not correct behavior, right?

And it's important to, like, teach our children, right? If you have children, like, teach them, like, teach them what to look for. Because they can do it. Like, there's, um, one of my, my brothers, like, he— we were talking about how we, like, nowadays parents limit their children in terms of growth. Why? Because I think what Benjamin Franklin, at the age of like 16 or 14, he already was going traveling on his own, right? Alexander the Great conquered the known world back in the day, um, at like very young age, uh, in his teens basically, right? As a teenager. And, and there's just so many things that like our children can actually do if we empower them, right? If we empower them. So instead of limiting them, empower them. And like, again, you know, just because if you were raised like without being able to travel, being able to do like the things that a grown-up would do, then that's what you know. That's what the children know. So there's no limits to what they can know. There's no limits to what they can do. It's just about leadership. It goes back to here, like the Law of the Lid. Like, if you want to raise your children at this level, then that's where they're going to be at. And if you want to raise them here, same thing, same thing. Okay. So like, teach them whatever you want to teach them. But it's just fascinating to know history or to learn about history and then to see how we raise our children now compared to back then. It's completely different, right? Obviously the world has changed a lot, you know, since then. But again, it's the people haven't like really changed, you know what I mean? It's just the mindset and the awareness and like, what do we want to do? What do you want to— what intentions do you want to reflect out there into the world, right? You want to wrap up that?

I do. So another thing is, um, one of the other chapters, it talked about how to win people over to your way of thinking. And so when you're trying to win people over, it's really more like having them understand where you're coming from, right? And so most of the time, what do we do? We just argue our way there, right? Like, well, this is why I'm right, and this is why I'm correct, and this is why you should listen to me, and this is all the things that I know and all the experience, da da da da da da da da, right? But they're just talking instead of actually listening, right? And so So most of the time, that's how we think that we're going to have people understand the way we think is by like spitting all these facts and just kind of like, you know, trying to show like what we know or how much we know or how great we are, right? Because we're this, that, and the other thing. But really, it's— that typically starts arguments, right? And so in this book, How to Win People Over to Your Way of Thinking, the number one thing is to actually avoid argument. Right? If you can avoid an argument for something just because you guys aren't seeing eye to eye, it's the best way because then you're coming from a place of understanding and actually an active listening. And so it says respect differing opinions and avoid unnecessary conflicts, right? Um, show respect for the other person's opinions and give credit where it's due and let the other person feel that the idea is theirs and appeal to their ego. And yes, people, we do have ego. I don't care how much you work on yourself. I like, you know, we're not all monks and nuns here. Like, we have egos at the end of the day, but it's being self-aware enough to recognize the ego within you is reacting, as opposed to you being like, let me listen to what this person has to say and let me see maybe where they have a misunderstanding, or maybe I could be wrong and I have a misunderstanding, or you know, we're on the same path trying to get to the same goal. It's just we have different ways. So how do we reconnect to be able to kind of see where each party is coming from and work through it? Right. And that's where there's some compromise and there's some active listening to be able to see what do— what is— what is their understanding? Right. Because maybe they have a different understanding than you do or you have a different understanding than they do. Who knows? Right. But if you don't actually take the time to listen, to see where they're coming from, you're not going to be able to talk back to them in a way that they can hear you because they can hear that you weren't listening to them. And then that becomes an argument because it's like, you know, they're not feeling heard, right? And so like this happens within couples, right? Like, you know, Sean and I, we're a couple. Of course it happens between us, like between family members. Of course it happens, right?

It happens.

And his shit don't stink either. No. So, you know, it's, it's part of like building a relationship and building that trust and feeling heard and being able to like be like, okay, like how can we reconnect and, and figure this out, right? And so avoiding arguments is one of the best ways to win people over because then they feel heard, right? Showing respect for what they're saying, like what are they saying? Is that true? Oh, okay. Like, give credit to them. Like, oh yeah, that's correct. Like, you, you are thinking about that correctly. Or yeah, that is how it is. Right. And then, you know, sometimes you just have to let the other person feel that the idea is theirs because people are more enthusiastic about taking their own ideas and putting it into play than they are with taking other people's ideas and putting that into play. Right. Because it's their level of acknowledgement of their ego. It's not, it's not always there, right? But at the end of the day, if you're a leader, be the bigger person and just be like, okay, well, that was my idea and now you're running with it like it's yours.

Cool.

Well, the ultimate goal is this. So if you think that's your idea and now you're enthusiastic about it, I'm going to be like, that's right. That's your idea. It's such a great idea. Tell me how to help. And then you go along, right? Because ultimately the goal is This, the goal is that, right? So regardless of how you get to that goal, it's all about being self-aware enough in yourself to recognize the ego within you, to be able to put it down and to say, okay, like, I'm just going to do it that way, right? And so I've always heard this time and time again. And being in like the corporate, a little bit of the corporate world before, I've seen it, right? Like sometimes you have a great idea, your boss or your colleague takes it as theirs and you're like, like, okay, whatever, like, you want to take the credit for, for the idea that I gave to you? Cool, take it, right? But at the end of the day, it's like, what is the ultimate goal, right? Because it's, it's your ego that's telling you like, no, I need credit because I had that idea. No, it's like, what is the overall picture? What is the long-term goal? What is the overall, like, what is best for everyone, right? And what is best for everyone is for that idea to get executed regardless of whose mouth or who gets credit, right? And so that's another thing that I've also learned, like being in the corporate world, working with like a lot of other people that were always usually much older than me. And yeah, so—

Is that—

Well, yeah, so that's— No, that's that chapter, How to Win People Over Your Way of Thinking. So the next one, the last one, is How to Change People's Behavior Without Causing Resentment. Oh, this is a tough one. This is a tough one. I'll admit, like, this was one of my things that I really had to change on. Like, I was always training people and leading or guiding them in the business that I was in. I was in residential mortgage before. And so if you guys have been in residential mortgage, you did loans, you did real estate, you know how stressful it is. There is Tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of dollars on the line, and people's emotions are like this high, you know, you're asking them for a lot of things that they don't even show their spouse. And so you kind of got to keep it cool, right? And you also have to like, I had to like train and manage people. And so for me, this is one of the things that I had to work on a lot because even if someone was wrong or incorrect, or I, you know, talked to them about it 10 times and they still didn't get it, I would just get so upset and I'd be like, what do you not understand? You know, like, and so I was like, this isn't working though. Like, and when this was done to me, I didn't feel good. You know what I mean? And so you have to, although someone may be incorrect in the way they're doing things or the way they're behaving, you criticizing them, condemning them, or telling them that they're wrong and you're right. And you know what I mean? It's not going to help, right? They're just going to get mad at you, right? Because again, we all are driven by our egos, right? And so someone's ego is going to be like hurt because you told them that they were wrong. And although they were wrong and they knew that they're wrong, guess what? They don't like you now. They don't like you because of their own behavior. But it's the delivery and it's the way you said things to them and the way you made them feel, right? And so their feelings, because we're humans, we have a lot of emotions. Right? And so their feelings about you is negative. So it's not even they did something wrong, it's you're, you're a mean person, like you're a bad person, you made me feel bad about myself, therefore I don't like you, right? It builds a lot of resentment. And so if you want to change someone's behavior or the way they do things, you begin with praise and honest appreciation, right? So you always start the conversation off with what you appreciate about them, what they're really good at, and all the great things that you see them doing, right? On it. And you start the conversation like that because when you do that, their walls are down and they're listening. They're open, they're listening, and they're happy that you notice them doing that, right? It's like a dog, right? You give it a treat when it does good behavior. It's going to want to do good behavior again because it wants to get that treat. It's the same thing with people, right? Like if you tell them what a great job they did, they're going to want to do it again, right? But if you point out all the bad things and never the good things, then they're not going to want to do anything for you, right? It just— it's animal behavior. It's human behavior, right? And so coming to them with praise and appreciation and encouraging positive behavior— and this is the same thing with kids too. You have to appreciate and give them positive feedback more than you give discipline or negative feedback. You are this, you are this, you're that. No, it's the behavior not the person, and you want to be more positive than negative, right? And then you talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person because you're showing vulnerability. You're not like, I'm this high mighty person that never does XYZ, only other people do it. No, your shit stinks too. You made those mistakes too, which is how you recognize. And you're like, hey, I admit this is what I used to do before. Like I did that too, right? And this is— and once I realized it, like, this is how I went about, like, correcting it, right? Because then someone's like, okay, you don't feel like you're better than me. Like, you're saying that you did that too. You made those mistakes too. Like, we're human. We're like on the same level, right? And now you're saying this is how you recognized it and this is how you change that behavior. And so now you're like, you're, you're showing your vulnerability. Like, I'm not perfect. Right either, right? Anyone that tells you they don't make these mistakes and they're better at this, that, and the other thing, that's someone that still has a very high ego, that still has a lot of work to be done, right? And then asking questions instead of giving direct orders. Involve them in the decision-making process. And so usually this is what I do. I don't tell them really like, oh, like, do this or do this or do that, right? Like a dictator. Do this, do this, do that. You have to listen to me, other XYZ, right? I'm— I more so ask them questions to lead them to the answer that I know that they're already going to have. Right. And so getting really good at asking them questions. Right. Like, so it's as simple as when you're asking a kid if they did something and they're like, I didn't do that. And you're like, oh, well, do you think doing this and that, do you think that's a good thing or a bad thing? Right. Oh, do you think that if someone did that, What do you think they could have done better next time? Right? Like, what do you think they should have done? Or like, what do you think was the right thing to do? Guess what? Like, that's with us too. That's with adults. And so instead of directing orders, even though you know that's what is best for them to do, it doesn't matter. It's not about you. It's not about your ego. It's not about how you're high and mighty and your shit don't stink. It's about guiding someone properly without them resenting you by asking questions to have them think. And when you ask them questions and then they're thinking, they'll give you the answer. And when they give you the answer from their mind, their mouth, they're going to feel like I had power in that decision because I came to that decision. Although you basically guided them to that decision based on the questions you asked and the answers they answered, then they think that, oh, that was my answer. That was my idea. I'm going to take ownership of that because it wasn't someone telling me what to do. It's me coming to my own conclusion based on questions that helped me. Right. So I don't know if I went too deep there, but that's one of the ways that I have found has helped me when I was talking to a lot of people, like instead of pointing out what they did wrong and what they could have done better, I asked them questions to guide them because you have to trust that people all know what they're doing. They all have a sense of direction, right? Like, we're, we're all adults, we're all personally developed to a certain point, right? So ask them, guide them, let them come up with the answers themselves. And when they come up with the answer themselves, they're going to be like, oh yeah, I get it. You know, they're good. They actually have the thought process ingrained for how they're going to take their next action. So That's it. That's the end of the book. If y'all haven't read it, it's a, it's a good read. It's a good listen. Or you can just kind of look at the key points and read that over.

Mm-hmm. Goody says always positive comments. We do this a lot with our kids, trying to lead them where they need to. Yes, that's really good. It's a guide, right? Like in the hero's journey, like you are the guide. Everyone here is a guide to those who like who are following you, right? So, and not only that, but to your peers and then to the people that, that you look up to. So we can all learn from each other. Yeah, we're always the student and the teacher at the same time. And so depending on what hat you want to put on determines the outcome. And so when it comes and yeah, Giddy says making it their idea. Yeah, 100%.

Yeah.

So, uh, let's, let's wrap up the call with, um, with one more example then. Captain, right? Like this is something that I actually just learned. I'm taking like a $100 million like blueprint course right now. I'm almost done with it. But one of the examples they talk about, and they really just talk about leadership really. Um, and like there's a lot in between it, but one of the things that stood out to me, which is something that I never heard of before, um, but it just makes sense. It's when you are the captain of your ship, I'm making up my own example now, but when you are on a ship, okay., and you are the leader, right? You are the captain of the ship, right? Like I said before, captain of your life. Well, everyone that's on that boat with you, on that ship with you, they're going in one direction with you, right? And if you guys plant— again, remember, it's like when you desire to achieve something great, you're going towards a destination, okay? What is that destination that you're going towards? Does your team know that destination? Does your team know that vision? Does your team know that dream, right? So when it comes to your leadership and with everyone on your team as well, specifically with your team, you guys are all in the same boat together. If your team is rowing one way and your other team member is rowing another way and you're rowing this way and the captain's saying like, we're going that way, where is everyone going? You guys are all long-term still going towards the destination as long as everyone knows the vision, as long as everyone on your team, on that ship, on that boat knows the destination. So if your team is rowing this way and that's how they want to do things, let them row. If your team is rowing this way and they, that's how they want to do things, let them row. But just know as a leader, the captain of the ship, As long as the team knows the vision, the destination, the achievement of what you guys are going after, let them row. Okay, because it's all going towards the same place. It's all going towards the same place. And that right there, right, that is leadership. Okay, it's let them flow. Yes, not about you.

Let them flow. And you need people and also accountability, right? Like sometimes there's benchmarks. There's benchmarks to the way you're rowing and where you're going. Right. And so if those— there are certain— there's— along with that comes the communication. There should be a lot of communication within the goal, right? Like people are all trying to get to a certain place in their own way, in the own way that they know how. Right. But there's also a level of accountability. If someone said, I'm going to do this and this is going to— is what's going to happen, and then it doesn't happen, then there obviously needs to be like a conversation, right? It can't be like, oh, well, I'm not going to take accountability for how I do things or what I said that didn't happen. There has to be a lot of communication and conversations with which comes with accountability. So not only letting them flow in the way that they know how to best, but there's key performance indicators, right? And there's also benchmarks of of was this met? If this was met in a timely manner, in the time that they said that they committed to and they followed through with, then great. That shows that you can trust that person because it came out of their mouth and then the action happened. And when the action doesn't happen, they don't get upset at you for saying, hey, what happened? Like, how can we improve, right? So again, that's the ego. It's accountability and it's a lot of communication, right? Like open and honest communication about certain benchmarks, right? And yes, systems and tools mean nothing if you can't teach and help people where they are at. Leadership is bottom up, not top down. Yes, understanding where someone is at and if they're able to see, right? Because sometimes people have a hard time seeing their mistakes, right? They only want to point to everybody else. Else and avoid their own, um, but actually seeing like where someone is at, like where are they at? Okay, if they're there right now, like it doesn't matter how many times you communicate or have that. If they're there, I'm gonna love them where they're at and I'm gonna keep going, right? Um, yes, communication, open communication, and then helping guide them. But if they don't see you as guiding them because you see where the, you know, where the drop-off is, then there's, there's nothing that you can do, right? Like, love people where they're at and keep doing what you're doing and allow them their space to be able to grow and take accountability for things that they are or aren't doing and that they say that they can do, right? So allow everyone their process and let them do things the way that they feel best. And when they make the mistakes or years have passed by and they still haven't hit that goal, and they're like, what? Then they finally want to be like, what's going on? What's happening? How come like this is happening? I'm looking at you for help now. That's when they're receptive and opening and opening themselves up to listen. And that's when you're going to be there for them, right? So seeing where they're at and not trying to put them where they're not at, right? And then Angela says, it's the gap between where you want to be. Learn how to work with people. We are in the people business. We build people, not business. And it's so true. It is That is so true. Like when you're building a business, it does involve people, right? And so there's a certain understanding that you have to understand about them and not everyone is the same. So regardless if they say, I want to do this, I want to do that, I want to be here, I want to be there. It's like, so what are they doing though? And when they don't hit certain goals, are they taking accountability or is it the, you know, or is it never their fault, right? But anyways, that was just a little bit about leadership. Again, I'm not perfect. Sean and I aren't perfect. We're constantly work— like a work in progress, right? And so is everyone else here, right? We're always working on ourselves, admitting our faults, and kind of seeing like, how can we grow? How can we learn from one another? Like, where do we go from here? Yes, no one's perfect, right? And anyone who thinks that they're perfect and they know more and they know better, well, then they better be doing better their actions and what what they have around them better be better, right? Otherwise, you know, it's, it's just out of the mouth and not through the actions. Um, so we're gonna end it here. I know we went over. Thank you guys so much for staying on. Thank you for your time. We appreciate you guys so much for showing up for us. We show up for you guys because you guys show up for us, and we're so grateful for you guys. Um, this has been a great call, a little extended, so thank you for staying on. Um, we will see you guys next week. And yes, Goody said, don't want to be perfect, just want to grow. Yes, we just want to keep growing. We don't need to be perfect, right? There's always room for growth. Um, perfect is boring. It is boring, right? I love you guys so much. Have a great day. Have a great rest of the week. We will see you guys next week. We love you. Bye, Steph. Bye, bye, Rizelle. Better together. Yes, have fun. Have a great week. See y'all. Bye.