Are You the Fish That Doesn't Know It's Drowning? | LeadingLane Podcast | Ep 99

I'm not hoping and praying. Things come to me. Like, I'm not hoping and praying that, you know, all of a sudden, it's gonna all fall in my lap. You are the designer of your own world, and if it is something that you want, you have the ability to create it. It's your life. So luck is something I don't feel that you can create. So therefore, I feel that prepared is something that you can create, because that is the actual something you can contribute to.

Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros, with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Stephen Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic, and raw perspective, you found it.

All right, welcome back to the Leading Lane Podcast. This is a random one because we couldn't figure out a topic, so I'm just throwing Ashley on the spot.

Love it.

My question for you, Ashley. Do you think a fish realizes it's in water?

Yeah.

Okay.

Not where I thought we were going, but.

Okay, we're gonna have to make sure we go back and get your facial expressions on there. All right, so the question is, do you think that fish realize it's in water? The answer is they are the last to discover they're in the water because that's all they know.

That's what I was thinking is, like, when my. When my fish jumped out of the fish tank, it was gonna die.

So, yeah, they. I mean, they thought there's gonna be water. They didn't know, right? There's gonna be something else. Well, so what I did is I pulled up, like, my favorite quotes and just random things that I've seen over the years, and I thought this was really interesting. I remember typing this out, and like. Like, I thought it was the most bizarre thing, but in reality, it's so true because there's people that are, you know, always stuck in this constant rut, if you will, or they have this same story that they continuously tell themselves. Like, they don't realize that they're in the water. Right? Like, they don't know anything different. They don't know anything different other than the victim mentality or whatever it may be. And I think that's where, you know, I keep on calling us the disruptors. Like, we have to help those people. And, you know, that's kind of the goal is to be able to push them through and have them see from a different perspective and realize that, yo, you're. You're over here drowning, and you're creating this chaos yourself. So don't be. Don't be a fish. Okay, my next one. It's not a question, though, so I just want to see what your opinion is. Urgency versus important. What's the difference between urgency and important?

I think that people misconstrue them often. What is that saying? It's like, something about, like, your lack of preparation doesn't constitute an emergency on my part. I think there's something like that. So, like, important is not necessarily urgent. So important, I think, is just something that needs to be addressed. Everyone is aware of where, like, urgency is. Like, if this doesn't happen in the next 30 minutes, something bad's gonna happen.

Yeah. I think I wrote when I did a training with my team on last night. Important is knowing where the bathroom is. Urgent is you're about to piss your pants. Like, you can find that bathroom right now. Like, there's a difference. Right, Right. And I think the other thing here, too, is, like, it's understanding that you may think it's urgent and you want it right now, but that may not be perceived or received on the other side as the same. Like, we all, you know, know, prioritize things completely different. And it's how we interpret whatever the task or whatever is being brought to us. And so I think that that clearly goes back to making sure that you. You have clear communication of if this is something truly important to you and urgent. And there's timelines and deadlines. Like, you need to articulate those, and you have to be able to put that to the other person so they. They know where you are at and they can meet you where you're at if they have to adjust those timelines accordingly.

I think, like, just finding out, like, what. Because all sellers are different, right? Like, and buyers. Some buyers, some sellers, like, don't bother me unless you think I need to know about it or other ones want to know everything all the time. Right. So I think, like, it's also a matter of just having those conversations with your clients. Of, like, you want me to touch base with you even if there was no showings for a week? Do you want me to touch face with you every two weeks just after shines? Right. Like, figuring that out. And I had to figure that out the hard way because, remember a transaction where she had said, like, I don't want to hear from you unless there's a showing. And this was the market when houses would sit for a year or two. Right. And so I hadn't talked to her for probably, like, three months, but it was also, like a $700,000 house, which also super unlikely back in the day. And then yeah, she told someone she hadn't heard from me at all. And then I called her and I was like, I thought you told me not to bother you until. Yeah to showing. And she's like, well, you could still let me know that there's not a showing. And I was like, well, I mean I obviously you know that there's not one, but I think that it means I should just give you an update as far as like any traction online, any views online, any other feedback. I mean like we're in this for the long haul, so just know like weekly ones and if you really want that. She's like, no, no, no, I don't want you calling. So I think, right, like it's just a matter of maybe someone thought that their expectation might be that. But then when it came to reality and they're like, oh, maybe I don't like that. So maybe even just rechecking back in.

And I think there too is like, there's a level of your own expectation. Right. Like I may not want those weekly emails or whatever else, but from my side as the agent, I never want the, the seller to question like what's going on? And so I try to make sure like I do make sure that like we have the NLD program, the National Listing Distribution program, right. I put my sellers on a weekly email, very simple. It automatically goes out. It looks like it's branded to me that I put this together and really what it does is I think that that's part of. Even though that they say, oh no, I don't want it. Sometimes you just need to continue on with whatever your services and your what you provide and be consistent with it and not allow others to be able to dictate or have you try to remember when you're supposed to be reaching out to them. So systems for sure. Let's see, what's the next one? Ooh, committed versus non committed agent. I think we kind of talked about it before, but kind of one of my favorites. What's the difference between committed versus non committed?

I think people like to put that towards a part time versus a full time, which I don't think is true. I think that you can have someone that is full time not committed and someone that is part time committed and vice versa. So to me, committed is putting in the time and effort showing up right, like doing the trainings, going to the places to meet people, doing all of the things that you should be doing where the non committed is you never see them, you never hear from them. They're not doing anything to better themselves. They're not taking any ces, any additional designations. You might not hear from them in months or weeks or see them. So I think for me, committed is the people that are actually like showing up and investing in themselves.

Totally agree. Like you can have somebody that's full time that clocks in at seven in the morning, clocks out seven at night, and does jack shit during the day. Like, they're not committed. They're just here to clock in, clock out. So I think that's all about what somebody's willing to invest. And I think that goes into the investment. You either have time or you have money. In my opinion, you do not have both. Right. Like, it's very rare that somebody has time and money. So if you have all the money in the world, that means that now you can invest monetarily into something to be able to help you buy back your time or starting out committed with no money. So what you have to be able to invest is your time to be able to then make that money in the future. So definitely fun little things that I've written out over here.

I think that's too, especially with new agents. Right. Like we talk about it, but everyone's looking for the shiny object that fixes everything. When in all reality it's literally the time that you invest into your business.

And I think too sometimes it's people over complicate it and have it so elaborate and so wild and like this huge. It's. To me, it's not like that. Like it's get down to the basic kiss it right, keep it simple, stupid. And really the things that are make you successful in business are the things that are not sexy in business.

Right.

Like it's not the sexy stuff that you get to go and do all the time, the fun stuff all the time. And that's how the business thrives. It's the stuff that you have to be committed to and have consistency and. And it's not fun. They're not fun tasks, but you got to do them. Let's see what the next one is that I have on here. Luck favors the preparation. I think my opinion of this has changed over the years too.

That's a tough one. Luck favors the prepared. I think I can see how that happens over time because I feel like over time, when you're prepared, you end up being in the right places at the right time. Is that luck? I'm not sure. Right. But I think that when you're prepared for the unusual, the out of the blue, the random phone calls that you're not expecting. I think it, it happens sometimes because of luck. It's just a matter of the right place, the right time, or the right person. But if you were unprepared, you might not be as lucky because you wouldn't be able to handle it or you're not prepared to answer those questions. I think that they kind of work together.

You know, I think that that's what, you know, when I first heard that, I was like, oh, I like that just because, like, you know, I get what it's saying. Like to me, like it comes to you lucky, but like, I'm not hoping and praying. Things come to me like I'm not hoping and praying that, you know, all of a sudden it's going to all fall in my lap. You are the designer of your own world. And if it is something that you want, you have the ability to create it. It's your life. So luck is something I don't feel that you can create. So therefore I feel that prepared is something that you can create because that is the actual something you can contribute to. So I don't think that necessarily my opinion of it is the same anymore because I think that opportunities come to those who are prepared. Luck doesn't just fall in their lap because they are prepared. They create those opportunities as they are prepared. So definitely has changed over the years of what I once thought it was versus where it is now.

I think that that's also right. People say like, oh, like she's so lucky or he's so lucky, which I I not a fan when people say that because I don't think that people understand the years of preparedness, the years of work that you put in to get the quote unquote luck, when now it's just really your hard work is re Notes for more.

Absolutely. I had a thought, it flew away.

Bye.

I don't know where it was like, well, okay, anywho, so what are some of. I know you have some very catchy phrases and different quotes and such that you have, and you may not have them right there, but what are some of the ones off the top that you constantly relate back to?

I think one that we've used for a very long time is be the change that you want to see in the world. I think that that probably gets harder. I don't know if it's at the times or my age, but I think that overall we probably live in a little bit of a Narcissistic, negative, ish world. I think it's easy for people to fall into that trap. And I think that I just try to really think more so of maybe somebody just needed that smile today. Maybe somebody just needed that reconnection or just the simple how are you? Because a lot of people don't ask that even anymore. They just assume you're okay. So I think it is just like, if you could have an effect on people, like, what would that be? And I would hope that it you would choose to be kind. I don't know if we talked about it in one of our podcasts, but it's kind of like the, I don't know, it's like Dateline. They like set up where like somebody falls and then. Or like there's the blind person that's trying to cross the crosswalk and like, no one helps them. And like, that is always mind boggling to me because I always feel like. Which I think Ben probably like, hates. Like, I'm always the one that, like, I see a car like on the side of the road, I'm like, oh my God, we should stop, you know, or like, there's an animal. Or like, I think I've told this story about like, my friend's like, dog is missing and like, we have to help them, you know, And I always try to relay it back to like, if that was me and my dog was missing, or if that was me and I was stuck on the side of the road and no one, I didn't have any help, I would hope that somebody would help.

And that is how Ashley dies. Stranger on the side.

But also now I've been watching that stupid about like, right? People like, play this thing about like, needing help on the side of the road and all as it is, is a scam to like, kidnap you. So now I feel like I might not be as likely to help people, which isn't necessarily true.

Maybe don't do it alone.

That's a good idea. It was even funny. We were golfing a couple weeks ago and of all people that need help, there's like a sheriff pulled over to the side of the road with his hood up. And then I was like, we should probably stop. And I think, like, I don't know, it's like radiator fluid or something. So he's like, there's nothing you could do to help me. But I appreciate you stopping, you know? Well, I mean, I would hope that someone would stop.

I mean there, there's a lot of that, not a lot of that nice, genuine, just wanting to help people, at least. I don't see it very often. And I think right now is the time. And it's almost. It's crazy because I feel like over the. What year, two years that we've done this podcast now that we always say, like, you know, do better, help others, et cetera, et cetera, and we continuously say, like, the world is crazy right now. And I feel like the world continues to get crazier and crazier. It's almost like a reality TV show that, like, this really can't be real. This is happening, and we're living in that reality TV show. So be the spark in somebody else's day that they.

I mean, it's as simple as, like, holding the door open for someone. Like, I'm. I. That happened, like, the other day, and I was. I was shocked because it doesn't really happen that often. And I was like, oh, thank you. And I think too, like, it's just so easy to just give someone a compliment about, you know, like, their shirt, their earrings. Something so simple could just change the trajectory of someone's day. So I guess that's why I've always. That was like a back in college thing that we, like, had shirts or graduated that said, be the change you want to see in the world. And then stuck with me for a long time.

I love it. You know, it's really funny because in between our recording of the two episodes here, Ryan handed me a card. I was like, why do you need this? And then I didn't read it all yet, but I will. And I just looked at the name, and it's Caitlin Hall. And I was like, how do I know that name? Like, my brain is not working today. And then as I'm sitting here, and I think that's where my, like, thought and flew away went, because I was like, Caitlyn. So it's even simple things, like a handwritten little card thinking of you, right? Like, it's so freaking simple that. How big of an impact that they. Maybe that's something that somebody needed that day. And I think it's great to be able to just slow down a little bit. I continuously say I need to do better. I do emails and messages, but the handwritten cards, like, that's unheard of anymore. I think that that's a huge impact in something so small.

Yeah, I think, you know, the other one is just. It's just really, you know, just honestly, just like, how can you help someone? It's not necessarily just being Nice. But, like, I always tell people that if somebody could just, like, lend a hand, like, follow me this way, or. I always think about it, you know? Right. I feel like high school maybe wasn't the best for me, and I'd love to go back today only as the person that I am today. But you think about, like, the people that, like, sat at lunch tables by themselves, right? And I think we've talked about this now, like, when I am somewhere, and, like, you'll see someone that has, like, sat down by themselves. Like, it's. It's. I don't know what it is for me, but there's, like, this immediate, like, need to be like, hey, like, we got room over here. Like, let's make this circle bigger. You know, like, just those simple, simple things. I just don't think people think about enough. And maybe it's just because I've had enough experience of being on the other side of how that feels, that I think that if people could just literally just try to help someone else that looks like they're out of. Out of touch or they're not fitting in with the group. And, you know, I know that girls are. Are mean. I mean, let's be honest, right? And, like, they don't like it when there's, like, an odd number, which. I remember this happened to me, like, 10 years ago, like, this group of set. Like, she'd get mad if there's, like, a group of three of us because, like, one person should be left out. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, I can't. Like, right. Like, all those things are beyond me. So just those things of, like, realizing how simple it is to just include other people.

It's.

It's simple. Just ask them if they want to join, ask them if they want to sit down. Ask them. Other day has been. But I mean, you know, you always look at too, like, when you go to these conferences and, you know, people try to, like, group themselves together, and then you'll see this, like, table where there's, like, two people left or, like, someone's walking around by themselves. Like, just be like, hey, we have an open spot over here. Like, don't know who you are, but here, like, there's no good spot. So just trying to figure out ways to, I don't know, brighten someone else's day.

I mean, you see the people, same people all the time, right? Like, that's something. With my team, I always try to encourage them to go sit with other people at a conference, like, go mingle. Like, we see each other all the time. This is the time to go make an impact and broaden your reach to everybody else. So I think it's challenging yourself to step out of that comfort zone that may be so normal for you. So love it. Love our little random pop up conversation that we didn't know what we were going to talk about. So thank you for going with it because I had no idea what the topic is going to be.

Okay. It was great.

All right. Thank you guys for tuning in and make sure you listen next time.

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