Finding Your Voice Without Losing Your Business | LeadingLane Podcast | Ep 90

You know, for me, I think my big struggle is I don't like being salesy, right? I don't want it to be that I'm constantly posting and I'm constantly selling and, you know, not contributing any. Anything else. And I struggled with this for a long time and still do struggle. I've gotten a lot better at doing it. But, you know, at the end of the day, I've learned that social media is there for. For you and I think not meaning that you can go on there and just get behind the keys and, you know, throw everything of your opinion out there. Like you are entitled to your opinion. I'm not saying suppress it by any means, but really the way that I look at it is social media and your online presence is your resume. And so I think it's making sure that when you are posting, or at least when I'm posting, I'm like, is this something that I want to present to the world, that a client or a potential client or whomever can go and Google me up, search me up, and would I be offended or would I be embarrassed if they were to see it? And if the answer is yes, then I just stay away from it.

Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Stephen Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic and raw perspective, you found it.

Welcome back, everyone, to the Leading Lane podcast. Today we thought we'd talk about something that's a little interesting and I'm sure has lots of opinions, but kind of, if you will, I would call it like a social media dilemma of what do I post, what do I not post? When it comes to both real estate and personal, I think we have all seen like all realms of maybe somebody shouldn't have shared that or tmi. There are a lot of people that get super involved in comments and like the back and forth keyboard warriors, which don't have time for that, you know. So I also think it's funny when you'll get like a memory on your Facebook that pops up from like 10 years ago and it'll be like, I'm having popcorn tonight. And I'll be like, man, Facebook totally changed from what you used to post then to what you post now. But I think as realtors, and I think other people that like, are involved in like, sales or like your brand is what you sell. I do think it's a interesting conundrum of like this happy medium that you want to be yourself. You don't want to offend people. Like how, like how do you find that happy medium to just be able to share freely. So, Stephen, I know that you struggle with. With that as well. So tell me a little bit about that.

You know, I. For, for me, I think my big struggle is I don't like being salesy. Right. I don't want it to be that I'm constantly posting and I'm constantly selling and, you know, not contributing any. Anything else. And I've struggled with this for a long time and still do struggle. I've gotten a lot better at doing it. But, you know, at the end of the day, I've learned that social media is there for you, and I think not meaning that you can go on there and just get behind the keys and, you know, throw everything of your opinion out there. Like you, you are entitled to your opinion. I'm not saying suppress it by any means, but really the way that I look at it is social media and your online presence is your resume. And so I think it's making sure that when you are posting, or at least when I'm posting, I'm like, is this something that I want to present to the world that a client or a potential client or whomever can go and Google me up, search me up, and would I be offended or would I be embarrassed if they were to see it? And if the answer is yes, then I just stay away from it. Because I definitely was one of those people that I used to share my opinion very loudly about a lot of local topics, local politics and you know, and really it didn't get me anywhere. All it did was create me anxiety and focus on the negativity versus being part of the solution. So I think it's this fine line of like, I want to share and be my authentic self, but I don't want to be too salesy or I don't want to be too opinionated. And it, I don't think it's any longer of too opinionated for everybody else. It's being too vocal, too opinionated for myself of representing who I truly am, if that makes any sense.

Yeah, I think the other part is, you know, I always tell people that I think in our roles, like, I'm not just representing myself, I'm also representing my company. So there's this fine line of right, like I don't want something that I say to be representative of my company and my agents. So there's that fine line too. But you know, I think it's funny when you say like an online resume Because, I mean, we've done a lot of hiring and I'll be honest, like, we pull up their Facebook pages and a lot of times I'll be like, yep, no. That is a no for me. Like, right, what? The things they shared or the things they complained about. Like, I just couldn't imagine bringing that into this office. So sometimes that's been an automatic no for me. You know, I think to. I struggle with, like, the negativity. Like, I just. We live in such a negative world anyway, and I. I feel like I go on Facebook one for some news type things. But, like, secondly, like, I want to celebrate other people, so I want to celebrate what people are doing well, you know, married, those types of things. And like, when I see people that it's just like one negative comment after another or complaining about something like one, I feel sorry for them because that's a shitty place to live in. But a lot of times, like, the unfollow button is like my new favorite friend. Like, unfollow, unfollow, unfollow. Doesn't mean we're not friends. But I don't need to see that craziness every single day, you know? One thing I didn't think about before we were talking about this too was, you know, in a. In a real estate transaction, we talk about not discriminating on color, 6, sex, sexual sexual orientation, religion, etc, right? But I can tell you that, like, nine times out of 10, because sellers get a copy of the offer that I presented to them, what does that seller do? They turn around, they look at them on Facebook and then, same thing. They'll be like, oh, what a cute little family. Like, I didn't tell them that. They can't make those decisions off of that. Or they'll be like, so I saw them on Facebook. You know what I mean? So, like, are people thinking when they're going to post something that it might affect their home purchase? Probably not. Should it? Probably not either. But it's just the reality that we live in now, you know? So I think that that's an interesting thing. But, you know, it's just this. There are a lot of times I want to say something, but again, I think, I guess I just look at it from the bigger picture of, like, is it worth it in the long run? Like, is it worth it to keyboard warrior with one person and then get like, negative thoughts and feelings all day long? Or is it easier to just keep on scrolling or unfollow? I just want people to come to my page to be more so. Like, I try to do things like what's going on in the community, ribbon cuttings. Like, I want to. I want people to view, like, when they see my name, they know it's going to be something fun, positive, etc. Not something that is negative or demeaning to others.

And, you know, I think that I shared this last week. I don't remember exactly what I said. We'll see if I can pull it up.

But baby elephant.

It was the baby elephant saying that they're the largest babies in the world, weighing, you know, £250. The only other bigger, bigger babies are those who are complaining about male cheerleaders in the NFL or. Or something to that effect. Do I really try to, you know, throw all of that stuff out there? And I don't even care. Like, that has nothing about your political party or anything else. Like, to me, it's funny. I mean, I cheered in college at a D1 university, right? Like, and so to me, I thought it was very funny. I don't care what other people do in their lives. There's been male cheerleaders for a very long time.

Very long time.

A lot of different. After different aspects, and for just the amount of, like, clickbait and the negative comments that are out there, it just is wild. So to me, hate.

There's a lot of hate.

Oh, my God. So to me, it was something that was funny. Kind of poke fun at the, you know, the. The current topic, if you will, and move on, right? Like, I don't need to sit there and rant and go on about how all these people are and everything else. Like, they're not doing anything with my life. They're not contributing to my life. Like, I thought it was funny. Share. Move. Move on to the next thing.

So, all right, like, maybe somebody will look at that and be like, okay, like, if they were complaining about it, they could be. Like, it is really stupid and childish for me to complain about something that has nothing to do with me at the end of the day.

But I mean, even with that, too, like, what if that helped one other person? Or what if even by me sharing it, maybe somebody that respects me, that doesn't know my whole life or anything else, that doesn't know that side of me. Like, maybe that can have them pause for a hot second before they go hit, post or comment on something. So. And again, everybody's entitled to their opinion. It is what it is. Don't really care. But also, like, let's laugh about it. Let's Bring a little bit of, like, fun back into this and make it social and engaging versus they hate keyboard warriors. Like, it's just wild how people are.

So, yeah, I was just gonna say, you know, like, how you said, like, it's salesy. I struggle with that too because, like, I do have a lot of listings and I have a lot of closings and, you know, I don't nearly post as many, like, just folds as I used to. And you know, someone did once, I think it was actually Emeran, that said something to me about how that's unfair to the sellers that you've worked with or the buyers that you've worked with. Like, what if they were looking forward to seeing that on your wall or whatnot? So, you know, it's always just this, like, weird. Yeah, weird. Like, you did sell it, so that's great. But then, like, if you just keep on posting just sold, like, people are gonna be like, I mean, actually, I know what people say. They're like, oh, she's rolling in the dough or whatever, which has nothing to do with anything. Like, no one knows that. People don't know my expenses, those types of things. But there is obviously sellers, I think, that look forward to seeing those posts. I think it's easier with buyers that are excited and you get to have like a sold, you know, post or whatnot. But I think even just in the story, like, because in the same sense, I look at it and I'm like, gosh, people could think I'm not doing anything as far as real estate because I just haven't been posting them. But it's like overly obsessive to post 3 in one day. Like, right? So it's, it's just again, like, why do we care what other people think if at the end of the day we're just being ourselves and someone always want to look at it, they don't have to look at it. They can just keep on scrolling.

And you know, it's funny that you. We have this unfollow button. They too have this unfollow button. And that is they. If they don't like what we're posting, unfollow, unfriend me, right? Like, if you really don't like it that much, you're not my friend. If it bothers you that much, then unfollow.

Well, I think the other thing we talked about too, we've talked about it before, is even because people don't interact with your posts, they're still reading them. So, I mean, people, I'll see people out in public and then they'll say something about something I posted last week. I'm like, oh, interesting. Because they didn't like, comment or whatever, but. Right. They're still seeing it. So just because you're, you know, people are very strange about how many likes they have. And I think people get caught up on in that nonsense too. Like, it's just putting it out there for the world. Again, there could be people that are looking to interview you as an agent and they'll check out your Facebook profile beforehand. And that might also prevent them from reaching out to you as far as, you know, working for them as a buyer's agent or a seller's agent.

I saw there's something on Instagram that I follow. I can't remember who it is, but basically it was, you know, talking about the. How we fixate over the reactions, the likes, the comments and everything, the engagement. But it. It showed him in a boardroom with 10 people. And so imagine being able to be in front of 10 people that you're talking to. Sales or coaching opportunity, workshop, whatever it is that you do. Ten people is quite a bit of people that you're able to sell that are truly right in front of you. So I saw that and I was like, huh? And then it showed a hundred people, a room of 100 people. When was last time you were in a room of a hundred people? But yet a hundred likes on. On Facebook or social is not good enough. And then it showed a thousand, you know, people. A thousand people is in this big old lecture hall and what that looks like, you know, from a selfie standpoint, and that's how many people that are represents. So if you really think about it, that, okay, if you're trying to be in front of 10 people, 10 people, one on one can be extremely difficult to do. But if you are posting three, four, five times a day or times a week or however long, or how many of your cadences, like, great. Like those are more eyes that are on your stuff that you are doing that you are promoting or you're selling or you are helping. And I think the other thing too, that I really try to change my perspective is if I don't post this, and this could help somebody, if it's one of our podcast videos or, you know, some tip or whatever else. Like, I'm not staying true to myself of my goal, just to impact one life, right? Like, that's all I'm looking to be able to do. So I'm actually holding myself back and it's wild because this is what we coach to. This is what we talk about all the time, right? That we our own worst critics and we're in our own way. So f what they think, who cares? Like, I, you know, recently have been working on getting new listings and everything else. And, and I have not been posting, you know, properties for sale or just listed or just sold or anything. Just because from. It's not been my, my role for the last, however many years. Five, six, seven years. So this last week or two weeks prior, I took a few days and I was like, let me just see. Get back into this because we have a new design center, we have new tech stuff that I haven't used in a long time with listings. And I will tell you, I posted three days in a row. That's all I was messing around with, right? I got three different inquiries. One person looking to buy, one person had two properties to be able to sell. And then the last one is looking for a rental property, an investment property here in the area because I posted. So imagine if I did not post, like, and it wasn't a just a post. Like, I, I posted those on my stories and so I felt like I was like, well, maybe if I take my stories and I can do the just like new listing, those type of promotions and then my actual post, like I currently are doing on my newsfeed, maybe if I took two different views of it, if you will, like two different road maps of how I'm going to market and use social media, maybe that might help me think a little bit differently since it's not constantly just on my newsfeed. So, yeah, post, right.

I think the people too, that will always say that they don't want to do like, video or whatnot because they don't like the way that they look. And the question I always ask them is like, okay, but when you meet your client, is it going to be any different than how you look now? Like, what's the difference?

But also with that being said, like, when we first started the podcast, I know I'm. I'll speak for myself. Like, worried about the perfect camera, worried about the, the lighting and everything else. How, like, what perfect topic are we going to talk about? What happens if I stutter or, you know, mess up a word or whatever? Like, that's me. That's who I am in real life, right? And now, like, I have no problem jumping on a webinar or a podcast or recording or anything else. Like, give me a camera, it's fine. So the more that you do, it truly does. It gets easier and gets better and you're more confident on it. And are there still things that I can improve on? Of course. But how am I supposed to improve on it if I don't start from square one? That's where every single person starts is episode one, Right?

So how do you feel about, you know, like, people that maybe are stuck in a rut of sharing negativity or going down the political roadmap, which is a hot topic right now? Like, how do you. Like, what is your suggestion for people that maybe feel stuck in that or get absorbed into that? Like, what. How can people maybe move past that?

I think it's truly still write it out. Like, I think that for some of people, it's therapeutic and that's how they express themselves. I think that still write it out, save it for 24 hours, and then come back to it. Is that. Are you still that passionate that you want to share with the world? I also think that, um, some of my clients actually have other platforms or other profiles that they will share those very specific things about, because they still want to express it and put it out there, and it's important to them, and I applaud that. Still do it. So I think it's making sure that you understand that if you are using your Instagram, your Facebook, whatever it is, whatever the platform it is, what is the purpose of that? And if you're trying to make that your true resume, your online presence, and you're selling, you know, real estate on there or services or whatever else, like, if that is the Persona and the online resume that you want, rock out with it, go for it. But if that's something that you feel that needs to be separated or you need to tone down, like, find a different platform, put it somewhere else, right? Like maybe broadcast it in a. A blog somewhere or do a personal website or something, that you can still put that out there. Because I know that, you know, people do engage and react with those, and I think it's almost addicting because I think that negativity sells. I actually think in marketing, it used to be sex cells, right? And now I think it's negativity sells and it's the clickbait that sells. So when you are being negative, people are posting these different things out there. It's getting a lot of engagements. So therefore you think that it's working for you and working for your algorithm. But I actually think it's probably hindering and hurting more than it's actually enhancing Your business.

I think you know, even to like, I think like if somebody just wants to, if they really feel like they need to get something off their chest, you know, they could always make it so that they're aren't comments available. You know, there's, there's that which.

Yeah.

You know, think of how much time did you spend going back and forth in the comments? You know, like I guess where, where could that time be of spent? Maybe in a healthier manner if you will. But. Right. I mean I think we all want people to be true to who they are and have the right to post about those things. I just encourage people to just not go down a rabbit hole, if you will, of waiting for that one person that they know is gonna have a derogatory comment and then going back and forth and again like is that really like proving the point or helping the situation? Like I don't think so. I think using other platforms is great or I think you know, just trying to fine tune so that they could, you know, you could maybe say your feelings but then try to leave it with a, a call to action for people or you know, what's a positive way we could turn this around or something just with a different light to it so that it's just not all kind of gloom and doom. Yeah.

There's also different groups out there that you like. Private groups that you can go into and be able to for sure how these discussions. You know, form wise you can also create custom friend list so if there's certain people that you know that you do share this same and it doesn't have to be the same but like you want to share with. Right. Put them into a close friends group and organize your, your friends list and Facebook so when you post you're only posting to that specific custom friends list and it's not broadcasted to the entire world. And you know, I keep on going back to like if that's what you want to do, you do you boo. Like go for it. I just think that you know, learning from my experiences and things that being so vocal and everything else, looking at it differently now like I wish I wouldn't have right. Like there's things I wish I wouldn't have posted. We all mature and, and look at things differently. Our perspectives change as we get older. But just be very conscious of making sure that you know, once you put it into the world stays there. It's screenshotted. I mean if you don't think people are liking or they're not commenting, bet you they're screenshotting you.

I screenshotted some yesterday. It was like a something I thought I was like, I can't believe someone that's like someone that I know. I'm like, I cannot believe that someone that I know like actually commented those words. Like it's not for anybody for me. But I think it. Because then it was like part of me that I wanted to, I wanted to comment something like I can't believe like that's such a one sided view to look at something that way. And then I was like not worth my, my time and energy. But I'll screenshot and I'll laugh at it later because I sad that we, you know, live so one sided. But I think that is, it is like you want people to be themselves and. But I do think, you know, there's just a point of if you live in that negative bubble all the time, like it just festers and I think it gets bigger and I think there's always things right. You know, so like again like is there just a different light? Like can you still like put your thoughts and feelings out there but spin it in a different way? And again like you don't ever know who's watching. So there could be somebody that's, you know, struggling and then they see all this, you know, continued negativity. What maybe it's a person that needs like a light at the end of the day and they read your post that made them feel like, oh, like they're feeling it but they're going to, you know, take it on a different avenue. And I think, you know, or just like when you're engaging with people, trying to keep it somewhat PC, right. Like sometimes I just like I see people's interactions with people and I, I'll just kind of think to myself like, how did we get here? Like you would, I would never imagine you saying something like that to someone if you saw them like face to face. Right. You know, so I think just remembering like, what if you do see that person face to face? Like, are you gonna have that same connotation or same, you know, heat in it? So I think again, just maybe cooling it down, trying to be thinking about like what, what posts can actually like be helpful to people? Like what can you do to try to lead others to positive direction, positive outcomes?

You know, I think the thing that really helped me is like sharing quotes and not just opinions and finding the ones that resonate. Like you can still deliver the same message, I think for sure. And without having to be so on defense or so attack mode, you can find quotes to be able to help you articulate and express what you're still feeling. And those people that want to know more or whatever, they can send you a private message and you can have a message offline. So. But being true to yourself and make sure that you are very conscious of what you're doing, contributing to the online platforms and how that is truly affecting you on the day to day. This world is wild right now and we don't need more negativity to be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.

Well, I think one really good activity that you do with a lot of people is you have them take out their phone and look at their usage. And I remember I did that here and I don't know, somebody was like, I spent like 21 hours on TikTok last week, week, you know, and like again like there's plenty of good to absorb, right? But like is it all good? No. But if you turned around and you took half that and you put like 10 hours of that into your business or into your personal development, like could you imagine, like that's one hour, you know, not even one hour, less than one hour a day like to put into yourself instead of just the scrolling non stop.

Yeah, it's addicting. Screen time is tough, notifications are tough, the distractions are extremely tough. Right. So it's bringing, bringing back to yourself and bringing back that peace and not allowing those outside influences to create even more chaos and in life and you, you know, throwing that chaos back. So good topic. Love it. As always. Thank you for listening and tune in next time. Love to have you.

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