https://www.listennotes.com/e/cbe4ad0f444a436c889c8a70a699e6f6

Welcome. We've all decided we're blaming the moon.

Yeah, she's blaming the pink moon.

That we didn't.

Yeah, it's the pink moon. It's not mine.

Yeah, I don't know about you, but it's been dreary, cold and windy, and I'm just about ready for some beach time.

And where are we going?

We're not going to Mexico.

I don't want to brag, but it's 85 and sunny here.

It's supposed to be 36 this morning.

Yeah.

So, Ben, where are we going?

We're going to Kirasao.

There you go.

You see how my mouth is like Kirasao?

I called it karaoke, so.

I know when you first look at it, it almost looks like that chocolate word. What is that? Caco?

Kako?

Caco or whatever.

And then whatever that little. What is that little umlat thing? What is that called? The thing on the sea.

The little Astra keeping. I don't know.

The little tank sale.

Texas, y'all. I I don't know.

Til day.

I think you're right.

Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast for real estate Pros by real estate Pros with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Stephen Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic and raw perspective, you found it.

They type it in. Yeah, just go.

Part two.

Yay. oh, look at that. Okay, so Ashley asks, how did we first meet? Yeah, that is a very fun story. We in, in Midlothian, we have this wine festival. It's evolved over the years, but it started out as the wine walk. And our office was there. Why are you looking at me like that? No, I'm just curious. And I'll tell my version, then you can tell your point of view. So I was setting everything up, getting everything ready, and I'm standing outside with some of the. other agents who are also friends of ours. And my friend Brandon, we call him Rack, so if you hear that. So Rack walks up and he's like, Hey, this is my friend Colton and then disappears for the rest of the night. And I do not see Rack again until the next day. And then a week later, he's like, Hey, you're welcome for introducing you to that guy. And I was like, you didn't do that. He's like, yeah, remember I like introduced you and disappeared and now then we got married. That's basically the whole-- Two weeks, two.

Weeks prior to that event, I got a phone call from Mr. Rack and he was like, Hey, man, you got to meet this girl. And I was like, Nah, dude, I don't, I'm good. And I just moved back to Dallas, just got my first real job. And he said, Here's a picture. And he sent a picture and I said, okay, what are we doing? And then I showed up at the wine walk and I walked into the back of the office. The first person I met was her dad. Didn't know it was her dad. Met her dad. I was like, I'm looking for Brandon, or I said, I'm looking for Rack. And he was like, Rack? I was like, Brandon. So he points, and he goes, See that girl up in the front? And he points to Haley, and he goes, Just ask her. She'll be able to tell you. So I was like, oh, okay, that's easy. So then I walk up, I find Brandon, and he literally was like, Hey, Have you met Colton? And then just popped smoke and left. And then basically that day I met her mom, her dad, her sister, her cousin, her uncle. Then because I was very effective in my communication that day, I then went to dinner with all of them afterwards. And then like a year later she agreed to marry me.

Yeah.

So, yeah.

So, I'm really curious how the date went after a full day of wine walk.

Oh, wow. We ended up in, we ended up in Fort Worth.

Okay. I feel like there is more of a story that we weren't telling there and that's okay, but.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I did not know I was on a date. Okay. So Colton knew what was happening. I did not know. I think that RAC is just a horrible friend and just left his friend and I'll take care of him because that's just so rude. and we had a great time. And then, you know, we go afterwards. It's fun. We have a lot of fun. And then, you know, the next day I'm like, oh, I don't know. That guy was kind of cool.

Maybe he'll call me.

I don't know. Yeah. Real, real low key.

Yes.

Trying, you know, trying to be all, all cool about it.

And then we got married.

Yeah.

And here we are. Well, and then and then I texted her like, you know, because you got to wait at least a couple of days not to seem too eager. I think I waited like 24 hours. I was like, Hey, what are you doing on Monday? And she's like, I have work. And I was like, Let's just play hooky. And then we left, went to the zoo, and then did a little more wine walking without the festival. And yeah, that was pretty much that's how that one happened.

Yeah, that's awesome.

I love that. So do we go to Ben or Ashley to tell the story?

You got the short version or the long version?

I can make really short versions here.

Ben, let's hear it.

Yeah.

An abbreviated version, though.

What's that?

An abbreviated version, though.

Bullet points.

Bullet points. Okay. Bullet points. Let's see here. Well, okay, so Fridays I had off when I worked at my other construction job. So then I would go into Starbucks, and that's where my sister-in-law worked, and that's where Ashley's mom worked. So then every Friday I would go in there with the motorcycle, drive in, get a cup of coffee, talk. whatever. And then I've been doing that for a couple months, the summer months or whatever. And excuse me. And then after a while, those two must have been talking back and forth because I did not have a girlfriend or anything at the time. And then one day I came in there and then they showed me a picture. And then there's, there was two girls in the picture, and then I'm like, well, which. Which girl in the picture is the girl? And because I already had one picked out in my head, I was like, I like this one. Which is so weird. I'll pick this one. But anyways, it was actually the girl that I liked in the picture. And I can't remember how I got her phone number. I don't. I think I got her phone number. as well. And ah, so I was told that Ashley was going to call me. What's that?

You lost my phone number.

I did. I lost it for quite a while and like probably months. And then I think even in the meantime Ashley came back to Marsfield because she wasn't working in Marsfield. She saw me playing softball. I never saw her. And then We took a family vacation to the Wisconsin Dells area. And on just before I got into the car, I was cleaning the car a little bit. And then in between the seat and the console, I found her phone number. So I ended up calling the phone number. And so the Wisconsin Dells and where I went to college was in La Crosse. And I don't know what that is, an hour and a half away. and I actually ended up talking to her all the way from the Dallas to lacrosse. And then we ended up talking the rest of that week. And I think, like, that Wednesday or Thursday, I was like, hey, I'm going up to a friend's cabin. Do you want to come with me? Never really. I mean, I saw her, like, before, but never really met in person, and she agreed to it.

Baldy to a cabin in the woods.

So we did the vacation or whatever. I don't remember what holiday it was. Three-day holiday. What's that?

Labor Day.

See?

Labor Day. And that one. It was great. Had a good time. I do remember when I. When I picked her up, because I always. I have a thing for beef turkey. I really like beef jerky.

Y'all are a lot alike.

And she bought me a bag of beef jerky and gave it to me before we got in the car. And I'm like, I was like just sitting there like, this is amazing. And she's like, what? I was like, no one's ever got me like anything. So I mean, and you got me beef jerky. I'm like, she's a winner. And this is it. After that weekend, I remember coming home to my parents house. and I don't. I think my mom asked me how the weekend went, and I literally told her that. I said, I think I might have met the girl that I'm gonna marry. And then shortly after that, we started dating. So we dated for a year, and then we were engaged for a year, and then we got married.

So how long have y'all been married since?

08.

17 years.

Yeah.

Wow.

I'm horrible at math, so whatever that equals to.

Yeah, you knew the year. That's all.

One cool.

Yeah.

19 years of that.

But I feel like you're kind of missing a big. like, part of that story, though, too.

What's the big part? I was told to do bullet points.

That was not bullet points, but. Okay.

Legit.

I. I feel you broke your back shortly after you guys.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I didn't know how detailed, like, if you would. If I would have told you the story, like, the way I normally would tell it, but, yeah, I did break my back. I broke my back a month before we met. and then month after I met sunshine.

Yeah.

Isn't that what I said?

You said before.

Oh, whatever. And kind of a big. So, I mean, you know, somebody loves you when they wipe your butt for you.

I mean, yeah.

Real fast.

Solid metric.

And you had it broke the other way, you would have been paralyzed.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

I mean, we don't have to get all, like, morbid or anything right now.

I don't know, but I mean, that's a huge thing. You've only been dating someone for 30 days, and then you have to help them with every. Every activity of daily living. It speeds up the relationship real fast.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Yep.

Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

You're good. Ryan, tell us all about it.

Yeah, we met on Facebook.

I.

Took a shot and sent him a Facebook message. This would have been in 2007. August 17th, to be exact, I think. this is the date.

And.

We were both young then. I don't know when we technically started dating out of that, but.

I think.

We were living together, like, a year later, maybe not even quite a year later. So, yeah, not. I think something happened.

I mean, like, there's some peanut butter. There's, like, a box of pictures. I feel like there are some things that are.

Peanut butter. Ryan's allergic to peanuts.

I'm allergic to peanut butter. And our first date, we went to Sonic and he ordered a peanut butter blast.

Oh my gosh, that's what Ashley would order.

I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make it a thing.

I mean, I might die, but you go ahead and you have that.

So far you seem worth it.

Hey, I like you, but don't get too close.

Like, that's just a. Something that you skip over and you don't tell anybody, right? Then, like, later, he was like, yeah, I'm allergic. And I was like, oh, my. Yeah, that could have been bad. Like, it could have been real. That would have been great. No, I think it's so funny, though, because he messaged me on. On Facebook, and we're small town America, right? He went to. To Chapman only. 15, 20 minutes away, even smaller than Junction. And apparently, right? I mean, apparently he already knew who I was, right? My dad goes to the dealership that he worked at and his dad works at that dealership too. So if you knew me in passing, whatnot, send me a message on Facebook and I may have been a little talking back then.

Not forward at all.

Yeah, so I was like, what's your deal? Are you straight, bi, gay? What's your story? Why are you messaging me? I don't know who you are. And he was like straight-ish in parentheses. And I was like, oh, that's a challenge. We'll see about that. And yeah, Sonic and pretty much inseparable since then. So there might be I think when I was living with him, I don't know if we're moving or what was happening or I was just staying there and I never left. Found this box. He has a totally different version.

Yeah, it was a whole big box, I'm sure.

It was not.

And I opened it up and there's a newspaper article with me and when I cheered at K-State and it was like my announcement that I was going to K-State and got on the cheer squad and everything. So now I make fun of him that he had a shrine and all of this stuff before we even met and manifestation.

I do keep things, so I do have a box of keepsakes, but he makes it seem like I have a whole box of him and literally one newspaper clipping.

So he hadn't made any dolls with like your face on them or anything?

No.

Now they've been since then.

I was gonna say there might be a voodoo doll. Oh my goodness, I love it.

And then when did y'all get married?

We got married. We got engaged in 2017 and married in 2018.

Us too.

So, yeah, we were together 10 years.

Yep. It's been a long while for sure. So. And you have to realize, I actually.

Surprised him with the engagement, which is impressive.

Yeah, I ugly cried. Cancer took me a while to.

It's a good. It's a good video to watch.

Yeah.

He had a drink in his hand and we had just got our condo in Kansas City. And so I take the drink out of his hand and he's like, where are you going with my drink?

Wait, don't take that.

It was like not processing everyone recording around us.

That's awesome.

It was a good time.

Yeah.

And then, I mean, it is crazy just the things, the hurdles and the emotional roller coasters and everything. I mean, it is a ride. for sure. And just the complexity of each other's families and health and everything else that you have to go through. So kudos to all of us that we've made it this far and all of the challenges that we've already faced. And of course there's gonna be more challenges in the future, but really couldn't imagine doing without, you know, without a partner. And, you know, it's pretty freaking tough out there, so.

Yeah.

Yeah. I am very codependent and I am not ashamed of it. I am very good.

But you, you, I mean, you make a great team.

Right.

And I think that's the beauty of it, is that once you get through, at least for, for us, like, we had to get through a lot of, you know, challenges of, you know, how do we work together? How do we live together? How do we, you know, just kind of like the same conversation that you had with Keith on, on the podcast there, how do you do all of that and, and still not choking each other out and get a domestic and go to jail, right?

We have been able to avoid that.

We exercise social distancing.

Thank you for making it a norm to be able to stay away from me, right?

Yeah.

So.

Ashley, you had some questions. Didn't you already prepared or no?

Sure, I can find some.

Find some?

Yep, I can find some. Let's see, what do you think your biggest win has been as a couple in business?

Who's answering this?

Say that again?

Who's answering this?

Haley's gonna take it.

I will say there's two parts for me. First one is him challenging me to bring a big fat check to get him to quit his job and me doing it, which forced him to join in real estate. And then the second is after we went through all the changes and the baby and all of that, and then starting up property management and really defining our two roles. And that's probably the second. the second one and surviving covid with my husband and a newborn. I think that was pretty impressive.

Yeah. Yeah.

I it all. It all feels like such a blur and. And as. As dumb as it sounds, like, it's not like every day is a massive win, but I feel like. And it's not like we're, you know, we're not playing with that thin of a margin there, but it. I don't know. I think probably the COVID and baby thing was wild because maybe globally it's just their ability to adapt to this stupid wildness of life in the market and the changes in our businesses and figuring out a way. I remember laying on the floor in our living room with Kinley when she's a baby. And I'm watching the Masters while Haley's at the office making phone calls for two hours or three hours, and then she's going to come back and we're going to pass Kinley to her, and then I'm going to go do showings. And so it was just like overnight, everything changes and we adapted and figured out a path through. And I think that probably laid the foundation for the shifting and everything that's happening. just daily.

Yeah, I agree with that.

Brian, you go.

I mean, I think opening the office was obviously a big win, you know, kind of that shift from your grandma's brokerage and her style of leading.

And.

I don't know, just making it this far with all of our offices and agents and just keeping it going.

Still being married.

Still being married.

Ashley, what about you?

I think, yeah, I think obviously still being together, there are a lot of ups and downs. I think that People don't understand like when you're creating businesses and the struggles that have to happen behind the scenes and when you're starting out the financial mistakes that you make because nobody told you otherwise and having to work that much harder to get out of a hole that you were dug into. So I think for us probably our biggest win I think is some of our financial freedom which came from 80 hour work weeks, working every single weekend, working on flip houses, working on spec houses. You know, I actually had a couple in my office last night and I give them props. They're very young and they're buying, you know, like a $250,000 house. And they were talking about how their friends make comments to them about all they do is work. And, you know, they're like, but we want to buy like a nice house and we have nice vehicles. And, I mean, I literally said to them, like, I give you props. Like, that is not easy with your age to work. two jobs to give up time with your friends. And I was like, I promise you, if you keep at it, like it'll pay off when you're, you know, ten years down the road from now, which they really appreciated. So I think going through all of those ups and downs without having any direction, I mean, and then obviously having Frederick Construction be open for when is it 13 years now? You know, that was kind of a he was supposed to get a really big job. he was supposed to do, I think, a full house remodel. And I wanted to quit my job. So we were basically waiting for him to get this full house remodel, and then I was going to quit running an assisted living facility. And that turned into, I got let go the next day and wound up in real estate real fast. So I think having that construction business, like, just already started, and then me in real estate, and then. you know, here we are 13 years later with both real estate and construction still booming, I think is a win.

Yeah.

Ben, what do you have?

I think Ashley hit it right on the head. My, my answer to that was probably the, the flip houses. I think the, the first flip house that we did was actually probably because we got our taxes were done and it was way more than what we ever even anticipated at that time. And so the proceeds from that first flip house that we did actually went to go pay our taxes. So I think after we did that flip house, it just led to other things and it's not so much, I guess, like risk taking. but obviously there is some risk in that. And I think that's what brought us together financially and business wise and basically what got the, everything moving forward after that.

Love it. I wrote down really, I think, a huge win, even though it was detrimental at the time. We had a property manager that quit on us while we were in the Dominican on my birthday. And we both looked at it and we found out via Facebook, right? And so I think it's just, there's so many different things that we have overcome, but that's one that I distinctly remember, like, all right, let's, how are we gonna handle this? Our team was handling it extremely well, you know, back in the states and trying not to bOther us, whatever, but we both knew that we had to kind of pull up our boots and get into the shit a little bit. And it was just figuring out who's going to do what. And I think that we just have that great dynamic of being able to, we work towards our own strengths, but together at the same time, even though that we may not always see eye to eye on those things, we know when shit like that hits the fan, we get down and dirty and make sure that it gets done. I think another big win is just both of us pouring into our agents and our team. And really, I think that that's where, in my opinion, in leadership and in business that you build your people first and then the business and the money will come. And I think that we have sacrificed so much to make that work to, there's times and still times that we have to put our own commission checks into the business to float everything. but we don't want to jeopardize our agents and our team. We want to make sure that they're taken care of. So we do sacrifice a ton on that side, but we also know that's a long-term investment that we will get that re return later on. So I think it's understanding that there are hard times and that there are going to be financial struggles and. But at the end of the day, we're here and we can help balance one another and be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel is. pretty, pretty awesome.

You know, I think that, like, the bringing up the property manager thing, there's probably been two distinct times that were like, this is, this is bad. This is really bad. We had a top producing agent that 4th of July, we're sitting in the swimming pool at Steven's parents, and he's like, hey, can you come out front and talk to me? And we didn't think anything of it. And he's like, there's my keys. I'm out. No conversation, no nothing. And she remembered being like, what are we gonna do? Like how this is horrible. And it turned out to be the best thing that, you know, could happen to us. We got other agents that would have never joined us if he was still a part of us. You know, Shawnee had moved with her at the time boyfriend with the military. And so when we were sitting on the balcony that morning and both of us opened up Facebook to the same, like she only posted it to us. But we both looked at each other and he was like, what do we do? And I was like, We call Shawnee. And we FaceTimed with her and she was in a position to consider coming back, made her an offer and she was back a month, month and a half later.

Awesome.

And look at Shawnee now.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

And I think that's the, the beauty is that, like, yeah. Did we, you know, in the offer to get Shawnee back, like, we knew that she was a great fit for our culture and, you know, she is a hard worker and had learned so much. And so being able to get her back, like, we still even had to make exceptions and change things around to, to make it work for her, but we believed in her, and now, and I think that's the thing is When you build a team, people ask, how do you create culture and loyalty? It's not just overnight, there's not an easy switch. It's making sure that you believe in them and you build them up and empower them. And it's tenfold return over. And I mean, Shawnee is freaking amazing. All of our team is amazing now. And hopefully those people that did us dirty, thank God you left. Like, toodle-oo motherfucker, like, didn't see it at the time.

I think sometimes you're blind to see, like, you know, with the agent, like, we never saw that side of things until that happened. And then the production that was put on afterwards was like, wow. Like, how did we not see any of that? But everyone else outside of the company, you know, other agents and other brokerages were seeing it and like, oh, I could never work there with him.

Like, that's, Yeah.

Not a thing. We've had several agents that have come over that have admitted that over the years.

We were nosediving for sure.

Yeah.

Well, and I think that culture piece of it's really a delicate balance too because you're, you know, you have this idea of what is, you know, what do we want our culture to be? And how do you sort of flex out and take care of the different needs that you have? And I think ultimately that sort of becomes the culture.

Right.

In a positive way that like we really are meeting people where they are. And if you're, you're gonna need something different than this person. And so how do we make all these pieces fit together? Uh, and just from seeing how you guys operate, I think it's working.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like that's, I think that's a testament to that. And it's, it's pretty cool to see.

I think that over time too, like it just shows that like maybe 10 years ago, like, you would have reacted in a different way, right? And I think that's the thing is like, as these things continue to happen, like, I think it's just interesting to like reflect on yourself and each other, like things happen and you used to get upset about them and now you're just kind of like, I mean, happened for a reason, blessing in disguise, you know, I think that shows just like the growth of all of us to just be like, nope, moving on, not letting it drag me down and there's a better solution. And I mean, like nine times out of 10, something better comes out of it anyway.

Agreed.

Yeah.

And Colton, you said something that I wrote down here. It's kind of all a blur. And in kind of echoing off of Ashley, do you guys sit and reflect and truly ground yourself of like, holy shit, we just made it through that? Or, I mean, like bringing to reality. I think for me, it's always go mode and for the longest, I, when people ask me like, tell me, you know, something good or, you know, your win, it was so hard for me to pull those wins out because I didn't necessarily either see them as a win right then and there, or I was just in go mode that I didn't even reflect and recognize what that win or what that situation really was. So how do you guys celebrate those wins and successes?

Well, Colton is the good one at that. Like he keeps me grounded. He's the one that goes, can you just hold on a second? and re-say that and look at the fact that you did that, that we did that. Can you just stop? And I'm like, okay, yeah, that was pretty cool. I guess that was actually a victory, even though I'm stressing out. That is a victory. So he does that a lot. And then why did you say to me the other day? Because we were talking about the disc profile and all of that kind of stuff. And the first time I took it at 21-22, I was hi, I, and everything's great. And now I would be like, Aldi. And you said that if we aren't the same people we were even three years ago.

Yeah.

And so much has changed and happened and that, and it is a victory. It's not that, you know, oh, y'all just changed your art. No, we've grown and adapted to so much stuff that's been thrown at us.

Well, you're, you're a product of all your experiences, and I think, like, with the most latest one with the hole in the stomach last June. I think in the initial outset of the blast, if you will, it's go, go, go. You figure it out, you're plugging holes, you're playing the little Dutch boy, just figuring out what you gotta do. And then when you get out far enough away from that moment, you gotta look back and go, okay, so, How'd it go? Let's do a little after action debrief. And then I do think it's important to plant that flag because there's going to be another blast. That is an inevitable certainty. It's going to happen. There's going to be a broken back or a something, ideally not that, but there's going to be a demarcation of something somewhere that happens. if you can't look back and go, okay, so seven years ago this happened and we made it through that. And five years ago this happened and we made it through that. And so I think being able to look back and take the time and, you know, it's not days, but it's a couple, maybe an hour long conversation of...

In the car driving somewhere.

Typically driving somewhere. This thing's going on. What have we overcome in the past? How did we do it? And what what can you really take of it? Because, God, I mean, with the dumb stuff, like the random, like the big people leaving the business or something huge happening in your life, if you can't glean some wisdom or a silver lining or a standard operating procedure from that, then what the hell was the point? Yeah. You know, like, why? Why aren't we learning from it? And so I'm still. I'm still searching for a better. more tangible lesson from the hole in the stomach, but daily we, we're kind of squeezing the juice out of that one.

So, yeah. Ashley, Ben, what about for you guys?

As far as, like, as far as.

Like, how do you guys or do you guys or what do you do to be like, man, we made it through that. Celebrate the victory. Um, or do you, do you feel the, you know, like, again, my, my feeling is was just go, go, go. And I never really stopped to recognize and reflect that we made it through that. How do you guys have those conversations and. And ground yourself of, hey, like, this in reality was. Was a great win.

Go for it, Ben.

Well, I mean, I think we had kind of one of these conversations, like, a week ago or something, but. I think a lot of it is just like, oh, you guys were saying how you react different to it. Like, I mean, some of the situations back when we were first starting, you're just like, your mind is blowing because you don't know how you're gonna fix it. And then now it's kind of like, yeah, we got this. You know, we've been through that before, you know, just one of the recent things, because I said this before, but, like, taxes. I mean, sometimes you look at that and you're like, oh, my God, how we're gonna do this. But, you know, we, we talk together. We kind of come up with a plan, say, we got this. We know what we're doing. We did it before. So I think a lot of it is just, you know, talking as a couple, whether, you know, a married couple, business partners, all of that. I think just bringing it all together and coming up with a game plan is, is a big scenario on how on how we do things and we've learned so much with mistakes and all of that through the years. And I think that's the big way that we get through everything.

Yeah.

I think it's tough, you know. I think probably more so like Steven, like I just continue to go and I don't, I think it normally has to be like something that pulls you back, something that you weren't expecting or whatnot to maybe really sit down and be like, okay, we have done a lot. So I think for me, I still struggle with that. I just like to keep on going, and I just like to keep on pushing the pedals in the middle. But I think that when you actually. I think it's maybe when we're on vacations is probably a time that we can try to reflect with what's happened in the last year or the last quarter or whatnot. Otherwise, I think it's sometimes just like someone else that you don't see all the time that says something to you, and I think. Then that's sometimes a reality check, especially like when you've lived in a small town and people knew who you were when you were a full on eye and now they see you and they're like, who the hell are you? With a full on D in their face, right? So I think that that's been interesting. And then I think when people just send you like private messages about how you're inspirational or how you motivate them, I think like to me, like when I have a chance to be like, all right, like we are doing the right thing. we do make a difference. We have done a lot, but I would say for what we've gone through, I mean, it's nothing that's been tragic, which we've been extremely, you know, lucky for, but just some really shitty circumstances and situations and that we've pulled through and that we're at, where we're at today. And I will come back to the people that we surround ourselves with. So all of you on this call and, and others, we wouldn't have been able to continue to grow or. push past or have someone that calls you out and says, it's not that big of a deal, Ashley, we're going to get through it, you know, or same thing, like someone might just call and they just need to let the heat off and then they're fine. And I think having those friends that can pull you back to reality and sometimes tell you what you don't want to hear just so that you keep on moving towards the bigger goal.

Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's, I think a lot of it, too, is what Ashley said is sometimes, you know, we we're kind of used to doing certain things and then we just don't like celebrate something like just this last fall we bought a new house for a rental and then we're working on it and before, I mean, I always have an excuse to have a good drink or something. But then we were just talking at dinner and we were like, oh yeah, we bought a house today. You know what I mean? So then like before that was like a huge deal and it still is a huge deal. But sometimes you're just so concerned about like, okay, now we gotta like, what's the timeline on doing this and doing that? And then you kind of just sometimes forget about that celebration moment where I think sometimes if you do take vacation or if we talk to you guys and then you actually say like, hey, you know, you guys did this. And then we're like, oh yeah, that's right. We should actually sit back and celebrate this moment.

Yeah.

Yeah. So sometimes I don't think that happens enough.

And I have to agree with Ashley. I mean, those are the bullet points that I had. I mean, legit, like, almost verbatim of where I've recognized more that we're doing it is legit. When we're on vacation in a pool or, you know, at conferences last time when we were in New Orleans, we all went to brunch, and so we. We made our next 90 days. what are we going to accomplish in the next 90? Where are we at from the previous 90? And I just put it in a chat and green checkmark if it's done to be able to see that, Hey, we're knocking these goals out and/or do we need to pull those over and having those grounding conversations versus being in the daily grind? I think really we get nose blind to a lot of these different things that we do. but I also think that it's having those open conversations that you're not afraid to have, but even though that you don't want to piss the other person off, I'm gonna use Ryan in a recent one. We'll see where this is gonna go on that. But he told me that he doesn't like to coach and train. And I'm like, I'm sorry, what? He's like, I don't like coaching. That's what you do. I'm like, no. And so then he legit was talking about how he met with an agent and helped her through and, you know, went through these different things. And I said, what is that called right there? What? What you just. What you define that as? And he was like, well, I just helped her.

Yeah.

You coached her. You coached her.

And you.

And I think it's being able to say, all right, like, Wake up, you're defining it differently. You're great at this, but we have these words that we don't want to associate with. And then he did a session yesterday with all of our staff the entire afternoon and last night at dinner. I said, what do you call that? What did you do with your team today? Coaching.

Yeah.

Maybe it's something with a fun word for you, Ryan. We'll make up a new word so you don't.

Like, I guess I just view it differently, like as a leader, as the broker, you know, like that's part of leading and I understand that leading and coaching are very similar, same thing. But I guess I just view it different, different lanes, but I know that that part of it I have the ability to do.

Yeah. Yeah.

So I think it's just having those conversations of, hey, like, maybe you're not seeing it the same way that I'm seeing it, and let's Define it and let's, you know, let's make sure that our, our verbiage is the same on, on these different terms and whatnot, and that we're, we're having the same definition across the board. Because I, too, I mean, admittedly, like, I don't like the word coach. I don't like the word coach because I think people showboat it and put it out there and I'm not that person. But in reality, I can't deny what I do is coaching. So I think it's like having to make that exception and realization of where you are, but other people pushing you and making sure that they're not just letting you be complacent on there.

So.

We have time for one more question. Does anybody have anything? that third.

Well, my kind of one question is, so you live work life with this person, and maybe there's, like, an argument about the laundry or there's an argument about the dishes, and then you arrive at the office. Colton opens the office door for me, and now we're in business mode, and that laundry is still on the couch, and we can't deal with it. So how do y'all do that transition from literally your front door of your house to the front door of your office.

Does anyone's spouse blow the dishwasher wrong or is that just me?

Okay, hold on.

I got a quick round, I'm gonna do a quick round fire question for that, but yes.

Yeah, it's a tough one. The forks go in with the mouth parts.

That wasn't my question, my question was once they're washed, you pull them out with the handle.

It's an easy transition. It makes sense. There's a right way and a wrong way to do it.

I'm just happy you're doing the dishes. Like it's a win.

I'll tell you that the, there's one of the things we took from, I think Steven said it first was the chin check. And you said the term chin check and then you said that you run your house like y'all operate it like you do your business. in that, like, there's responsibilities. And you, and when y'all said that that time about the, I forget exactly how you worded it, but it was like this. We run it like a business.

Yeah.

I went, oh, my God, that would change so much if we, we should do that. And so we've, we've adopted some of that terminology and, and operating procedures within the household and mostly the argument from the home to the office, you know, grace, and just trying to compartmentalize your frustration and move on.

I think for, I think, I think.

For us, I actually think we're about to go through another, like, transition, if you will, of needing to make changes. Steven's going to primarily work from home. which I could not do. It's not a me thing. I can't sit home for days. But, you know, like, I think there's still a level of I'm coming home and, like, decompressing from my day and talking about it. And if there is a disagreement about, you know, the direction something's headed, like, we still have to have that cutoff of, like, okay, We're gonna go have dinner, we're gonna do, you know, whatever it is, and we're gonna table that until tomorrow or another time. Like not letting the emotions of the day carry over into, you know, that argument, if that's how it turns out, but conversation.

It's hard.

Yeah, I mean, with that. Like, let's be clear. I don't do the laundry, and Ryan does not let me do the laundry. And so, like, it is finding a teenager.

He puts everything in at the same time. I can't do that. That's why your stuff is blue.

Or I'll just go buy all brand new and, like, I don't really care.

Right?

Yeah. But I think really the, you know, we used to a lot. And we still have the overlap of, you know, bringing business home, if you will. Like, how do you not talk about it at home? But I think it's understanding that if they're really, if we know, I think we both do it unspokenly now, but if we know it's a conversation that we want to have or, you know, like, it's not just a, let me tell you about my day. It's a true, like, let's get done. You know, like, we, we need to have a talk. We'll, we'll be like, hey, let's go out to dinner. and like my goal is not to have those types of conversations at home because I don't want to sit and dwell on it and then jump around of now let's talk about the dishes and let's talk about these other things. So the way that I think of it is it's kind of like a, you know, a football tunnel, if you will. Like once you get out of that tunnel and you hit the overhang and you go onto the field, like now you have to have that mindset of Now I'm here to play, right? Like now I'm here to work, I'm walking into the office and let's work. And then when we are able to, you know, get to the house, it's the same concept of walking through that door. Okay, now we're walking, it's home mode. So I think it's just that it's almost that the door frame mentality, hitting the door frame. I'm entering now as, you know, the husband, the spouse, or now I'm walking in as the boss or, the agent or whatever it is, whatever role.

Well, and I think like this was probably more so during COVID and that weird time right after, but you know there would be things that would happen and the dishes would spark this argument, but it's not really about the dishes. Like that's just what set me off that you couldn't put the fork down.

That is such a good point.

I think we're all looking for a dish lady to come start taking over.

Seriously.

What about y'all, Ashley?

Ashley Ben, do you guys have anything to add to that before we wrap up?

I think it's a little different because we don't actually work together all day long unless we're working on one of our own projects.

But.

I think, you know, we have like a recap when we get home. I think that ours probably drag on a little bit. longer than what they need to. And it's just, that's just the way it is. But I think sometimes we'll literally just be like, I don't want to talk about work for the next, like, hour. Like, I just, like, I'm tapped out. And I think Ben will normally know because he'll ask me questions, and then they turn into, like, very short sentences. And then I think it's kind of a. A gist to him that we're done with these conversations, and I think it's just, you know. we all just need some downtime. Like, literally, like, your brain just has to rest for a little bit. And so it's easy to come home and continue to have those, but it's really not healthy for just, like, a quiet time. Like, we all need some development, rest.

Right.

Restorative time. So I think it's just recognizing. And if you're not, if you're done with it, just saying, like, we need a table. This for today, you know, but I think for the most part, it's those if we can have something outside of the office or we have, like, on Sunday nights, we try to just recap what we're gonna do that week, what plans we have. You know, I finally got Ben to use Asana, and it's worked well for him. He doesn't forget as many things, so, you know, trying to find ways to improve each other along the way as well.

Yeah, I think I've made some pretty good hoops in the last. I couldn't find him.

I couldn't find him, like, two nights ago. And here he was giving the cat a bath, which she has, like, never done. And I was like, what are you doing? And he's like, I'm a chain man.

He's been talking about giving the cat a bath for, like, two weeks. And then, you know, she was in one of those modes where Ben is quiet time for Ben. So I kind of just was like, I'll give the cat a bath. But I've been pretty good where I was like, is this quiet time now? Like, you don't want me to talk or do you want me to go down the bit downstairs? You want me to go outside? So I can't. Sometimes he doesn't even answer me, so I already just know the answer. But I kind of just walk away, and I don't even know sometimes that she thinks, like, she knows that I walked away.

But.

But I think it's just to that thing where you kind of know their personality already. So I'm like, yeah, I'm just not even gonna bother you, and then I'm gonna go do my stuff for a.

Little bit, and then you come back and I'm fine.

I'm good.

Yep.

Everything's okay.

So.

Oh, my guess is.

In addition, we're done.

Yeah, in addition, we're done.

Great. Well, I really enjoyed. Talking with everybody. Yeah, I have a feeling we probably might do this a little bit more, more often. Um, and even if it's not on the pod, podcast, it's great to just have conversations with like minded people, that are all cheering each other on and all here, you know, with the best intentions and best heart. So thank you, Colton and Haley and thank you Ben and Ryan for, for joining us for this special episodes and Thank you to the listeners. As always, if you guys have any questions or if you'd like to be a guest on our podcast, please reach out to us. We greatly appreciate you listening in and make sure you tune in to the next one.

Thanks guys.

Thank you.

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