Mastering Routines and the Powerful Impact They Have | LeadingLane Podcast | Ep 3

Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros, with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Stephen Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic and raw perspective, you found it.

So we're just going to go into it, I guess. Right? Like, because I'm going to get scolded that I don't have a morning routine. New Year, new me. Maybe that's. Maybe that's what I should start on. Right?

Yeah.

To be honest with you for, like the routine aspect of it, I used to get up because I could not sleep at the most absurd times in the morning.

Go to the office.

Yeah. So, like, I would get up and I would have this like, anxiety that I would like because I'm up, I should be working and doing productive things. So regardless if it's at 3, 4 o' clock in the morning, I would get up, get ready, and I would go into the office and start working at three or four o' clock in the morning. Um, and so I don't have. Yeah, it's horrible. Like, why, why do that to myself? And I would stay all day. Right. Um, but no, I never had a healthy morning routine whatsoever. So I would love to hear what you have laid on me. Let me know so I can start taking notes and see if I can start implementing it.

All right. I am pretty much a stickler for morning routines and I think where that came into. Right again, like, it's all this like self development etc. But I am a firm believer that if you aren't taking care of yourself, you can't take care of others. So you know that I'm someone that tries to help everyone, wants to be there for everyone, but I felt like I was wasting my mornings. Like I was getting up late, I wasn't making healthy choices. And then at the end of the day, like, that makes me crappy. That makes me, you know, I don't feel like it makes me as prepared for the craziness that comes up in one day. So I really got. Actually, it started with I read the 5am Club.

I've read that too.

You have read it?

I have read it, yes.

And we're just not implementing right now.

Well, I think I took it like I was trying to go the extra mile and be the 4:00am Club, apparently. So I don't know.

So I didn't necessarily take it as like, quote unquote, the 5:00am so originally after I read it, I was like, there's no way I'm waking up at 5am and sorry to start it with 6. But it also helps because I started in the summer and it's light out. But over time like I just felt like I still wasn't getting done what I wanted to get done in my morning routine. So I get up typically in between 5 and 5:30. Now it is pitch black right now, so I will say that that makes it a little bit more easier to press the snooze button. But I also changed my alarm as of recent and it's who Runs the World girls. So that's my alarm to get up in the morning. So literally, literally the minute I get up I'm already thinking about running the world. So that definitely helps. And then some shifting obviously too as to what I'm doing with Maya. But within the first like 30 to 45 minutes there has to be some type of physical activity. So weights have always been a really important thing for me. I'm. I've done the cardio like I've done the 5Ks. It's really just not my cup of tea. So there's a lot to be said about strength training. Right. But I think I told you that as of recent she considers my adrenals to be in a crashed state. So. Yeah. So lifting weights is like on the not to do list right now. We'll get back to it. So right now really it's just a matter of like a 20 minute walk on our treadmill and then normally have some type of protein shake within the first 45 minutes too. So like all within that hour. The really big thing that I struggled with to do like when I'm not on the treadmill is to not go on my phone. But I really don't like check anything until like 7 or 8 at this point in time. So like that's reserved for like me time. So on my treadmill it's actually, I think I sent you a picture the day like you can pick beaches and whatnot but they actually like will give you history lessons too. So I learned a lot more about Mexico this morning. Another place we can visit. You know, I think something else was like some. It was in England and there was a tower and it tells the history. So it's kind of just cool to listen to that. Otherwise I'll listen to that audible while I'm on it. But like hardcore, not doing anything social media or email related. I have my shake and then you know that I'm a Shakti Mat fan. I think you do yours at night. I like to do mine in the.

Morning for, for those of you that don't know what. Like, I call the shiitake mat. Like, it's not a shiitake, Matt. Like, what is it? How do you pronounce it?

You'd have some mushrooms.

Yeah, that's what, like, I tell Ryan, like, I'm gonna go do my mushroom mat. But it's legit. Like, these spikes. Like, it's a. It's a mat that has these spikes. It's basically for, you know, control. There you go. Bedded nails. So anyways, go ahead. Sorry.

No. So I remember somebody put it on Facebook a couple years ago, and I used to do acupuncture. So I was like, I mean, if I could do that at home. Um, so, yeah, it's like literally this matte bed of nails. You can actually have, like, a cushion too, like, that you want to. If you want to put underneath your neck. So I have both. And the goal is relaxation. So really, I aim for like, 15 minutes when you first start. I mean, it's a little intense. Like, they say that it feels like a sunburn, which I would agree with. But it is oddly strange that by, like, you know, eight to 10 minutes, like, you're just like. I mean, I could fall asleep if I wanted to. But I've tried to change it more to like, like, meditation or Because I like to multitask. Like, lately I've been, like, laying down and like, reading a book at the same time. Because, you know, why not make use of your time? So I do that. And then I really like to. After that, or if I didn't read while I was doing that, I like to just read 10 pages in a book. I'm a big proponent of either, like, reading or audible, so that's like the first, like, hour. So like, literally, I haven't, like, talked to another human being. I haven't looked on my phone. It's just been all things to more or less, like, mentally and physically prep myself for the day. And then when I get ready, I normally listen to a audible, all kinds of things. For me, it's normally things to keep you motivated, things to help you problem solve. And then about like, 7:30 or so is when I'll start to check on things because I just feel like, so easy to get distracted. Or like, if somebody said it, sent a stupid email. Like, I don't want that to ruin my morning. So that's why, like, that morning routine is protected for me, so that I can get through it without interruptions.

And so, like, what time do you typically get to the office?

Probably like 8:45 to 9. So our office opens like at 8:30 and the girls are typically there at 8:30, 8:45. But I like that time too of like just quietness at home, kind of like digging out the first couple things that need to be done. I'm also a huge proponent for like scheduling messages. So like in my email and in my text messages, you know, sometimes I, I mean I think that everyone should work on their boundaries as far as time and like we shouldn't necessarily be getting text messages at 5:30am so a lot of times I'll, if I do something at 7, I'll schedule it for, you know, descend at 8 or whatnot. So to me like it's a good chunk of time, but it's an uninterrupted like no, sorry, that doesn't happen. Can't happen at that time.

Well, I think it's most important like you. So it was very eye opening. A. I don't really have again a true routine in the morning. But I was working with somebody once and she told me, she was like, you know, if your business, if something were to happen to you, what would happen to your business? And I said, well, I am my business. And she goes exactly. She goes like, so you, you are your business and you're working so hard on your business, but you're not working on yourself. So therefore you're not really truly working on your business. You're neglecting half of your business essentially. So I, I did change my mindset of I am my business. And so I have to work on myself first to be able to then start work truly giving my true authentic self to everybody else and being able to help everyone else. And you know, I really think that this also goes to for me of who you surround yourself with in those different professional development or different opportunities to grow and learn. Because if I didn't surround myself with people that I have in the past three, four years, even with that, even the people that I eliminated out of my life in the last few years too, to like, I have to make sure that I'm taking control in setting those boundaries for myself. And I'm, I'm now recognizing that. So with Maya, I do have a written out what my routines are going to be and very similar. Those are the things protein. You know, within the first 45 I learned that my entire life I have looked at food in a completely different way than a lot of people. Um, I cheered D1 and so therefore I was around people constantly that were, you know, we Would have a celery stick or a cucumber. And, like, look at portion size. Like, that's it. And so it was all about calories and the. The sizing. Well, after working with her, like, I'm not getting nearly enough protein. And so with my sleep schedule, I'm in fight and flight. Like, of course, my body is so out of whack because I. And I'm not gonna be doing things consistently, so I have to force myself to do that, but I first have to take care of myself at the. At the end of.

So, yeah, I think, like, the biggest thing for me is, like, right, we need to, like, feed ourselves via nutrients of food. And I. Right. Same thing. Like, we've been pushed so hard on, like, calorie in, calorie out. Right. But, like, that's what we've always known. And to be honest, like, obviously it's not worked like I've wanted it to. And I think my body is like, I mean, F you for screwing me up for all these years. So, yeah, it's a matter of being aware. And like, you know, I pack. Okay. I don't. My husband packs my snacks and my lunch for me. I know I'm 110% spoiled.

He takes good care of you.

He does. But that's the other thing, right. Is like, especially in real estate, I felt like. Was it like two summers ago when, like, you could barely, like, find time to pee? I mean, like, I wouldn't eat all day. Like, all day, same. And then, you know, you get up and you do it all over again. And I can, like, looking back, like, I wasn't in my best form. I definitely wasn't mentally prepared for all of the things that were coming on. Like, had I just done those few simple steps where, like, now I, I. It's like a. It's a cooler I take with me because. Right. I don't know if I'm gonna be at the office. I don't know if I'm be at the road or whatnot. But now I have, like, my snacks in there, my lunch in there. So, like, if I keep myself fueled mentally and via food throughout the day, like, that just helps. Throughout the whole entire day.

Absolutely. Like, I mean, that is. It's literally like putting a log on the fire. Like, if you don't. If you're not putting the log, your food into your body like that, you're just going to fizzle out and you're going to have the ambers and like, whatever. I mean, smogging up or Whatever it is, the terminology. But no, like, I wanted to be running on all cylinders and I have to be versus forcing myself, which then I was truly neglecting myself at the end of the day. So it is, it is very eye opening. And you know, I think it goes back to when we were talking about, you know, it must be nice and these different struggles that we have in real estate and sales, business, entrepreneurship. I mean, you, you have to be able to go and that's what you're making money. And so when money is the number one driving factor, you're not really looking at anything else other than what is going to produce that income for you. And it's. You have to go, go, go. But in reality, it's not a go, go, go. It's a, it's making sure that you're smarter. You're not, you're working smarter, not harder. And I definitely was putting my body into overload. And so I'm working on it. We'll see how all of that goes. And you know, what are you going.

To implement for the morning?

So I really like to read in the morning. Yeah. And so I'd like to like, if I force myself right, like, or get in the habit of doing it, to me it's something that I want to be able to learn and typically I'm reading, you know, professional development type of stuff. So it helps me truly start my day in my mind as a, A leader in making sure that I'm able to contribute at least something new to the world that I learned and pass it on to the next person. So that has been a. Definitely something that I am going to re. Implement my challenge to myself. It's. So it's gonna be really difficult. Is my phone like, I feel like my phone is like my, like attached to me constantly. So. But my goal that I'm going to be doing my challenge is not getting onto any of the emails or checking my text messages or checking anything on social, like use it for my alarm, maybe even buying a new alarm. Just putting my phone somewhere else. Um, because that sends you out a spiral really freaking quick. Um, and I already have adhd, so, you know, I'm looking for. Yes, I'm looking for that dopamine hit really quick in the morning. But I don't want to get sidetracked by others. Other people's worlds wouldn't. It's then going to be bringing my world down and then affecting my entire day. That's not the best version of myself showing up whatsoever.

Like, do not disturb.

Yes, My. My Do Not Disturb is on, like, almost 24 7.

Like, so mine, like, so it doesn't notify you if somebody text message you or something. Oh, well, mine does that.

If you had an iPhone, you know, you would then, like, the other iPhone user sees on their side that I have mine on Do Not Disturb. So.

So mine is just like, I think it starts at nine and then it doesn't come back on until seven and then I don't get any of the notifications. So, like, Facebook, whatever. Like, they'll come through at 7. So I think that's helped me, like, train to not look at it. But I think it's just a matter of trying to be aware. Right. Because, like, it's so easy to. I think it does. Like, I don't necessarily have ever been like, adhd, but, like, I can't sit still. Like, that's my problem. Like, that's a very hard thing for me to do, even at night. But. Right. Like, if we're not feeding our brains with like, the right type of stuff, then I think it's easier to get distracted. So I think that'll be a. I think maybe you'll just have to have like, Ryan hydrophone for the first, like, hour. It could be like a game. Where's Stephen's phone?

Oh, sometimes that. That is a true game. That happens. But, you know.

Oh, well, best is when I'm on my phone and I'm like, where's my phone?

It's attached to your face. So I. I asked my agents, of course we're going through, you know, doing goals and everything else. What is something that you're going to stop doing? What are you going to stop doing in 2024?

That's a good one. Are you asking me?

Yeah, I'm asking you. Yeah. You put me on the spot, I'm gonna put you on the spot. What are you gonna stop doing?

What am I gonna stop doing? That's a hard one. There's so many things I should stop doing. So, I mean, the phone is obviously one thing I'm working on because I just need to, you know. And like, we used to do it when we would go out to dinner with friends, which we just don't do as much, you know, with COVID but we used to all put our phone in the middle of the table. Whoever touched it first had to pick up the bill, you know, because I think that it's just like you go to. Out to restaurants right now and you, like, watch people and they're like, not talking to one another.

Right.

So like twofold, like not be on my phone as much so I can be present when I need to be present. There's obviously reasons to be on your phone, but it's a matter of actually when we talk about like a morning routine is like finding a better nighttime routine because, like, my nighttime routine is like, no good.

Yeah.

So I think that that comes into like, not using my phone to put me to sleep. Right. Like, I watch TikToks because I think there was like a thing that said, you know, like people that are like busy all day, it's like almost like watching that, it's like a release for them because there's like no responsibilities in that. And I, I definitely relate with that. But in the same sense, you know, it's the whole blue light before phone type of situation. So for me, and it's like really trying not to use my phone the hour before that. I mean, that'll be a hard, hard thing, but I think it'll be. Be worth it in the long run. And then my other things, I like to snack at night and I just. That's not good for you either?

Good. No. And it's, it's amazing when we do goal setting and everything else that I think the typical person wants to add. All these things I'm going to start doing when really the simplest things that have the biggest impact are right in front of us, that we already are doing that we need to stop on doing some. So, yeah, I think that's really intriguing. For sure. Mine. Mine is my phone. Yeah, like, like more. More so like feeling like I have to respond right away. Like I'm, I, I'm almost, I almost allow myself to be too readily available and respond to things super freaking quick. So I want to be able to slow that down a bit on things that don't need that response that quick that can sit there. So. And you know, the, the real thing with the phone and it's very eye opening. Um, somebody, when we were talking, used this analogy with me. Like when you're in your vehicle and you're on the highway and you're going 80 miles per hour, what would happen to you if you were just to stop and go to zero instantly? Like you go into a crash, right? Like, like you, you're. It's going to be crazy. It's going to be chaotic. Um, you're going to hit a wall really freaking quick and it's going to freaking hurt. Well, that's exactly what our brains are doing all day. And so we're going 80 miles per hour all freaking day in our brains. And so when we're on our phones constantly, even you know, laying in bed watching TikToks or Facebook or whatever we're doing, like then we turn our phone off and then all of a sudden we're expecting our brain to shut off and go to sleep. Well, it's going to take a little bit of time to wind that brain down so then you can get the good sleep. And I mean there's, there's so much behind, you know, having your phone that there. Like yes, it's a great thing, but also it's a, it's a double edged sword and it's a negative thing too.

So I think we've done exercises with people as far as I couldn't tell you for an iPhone, but you can go somewhere on your iPhone and you can look at your usage on those apps. And I know we haven't figured it quite out yet on the Android when they got a new Android, but I think like I had done that before because you can actually set like parameters, you know, like you, like, whatever, it'll notify you if you, if you used Facebook for like an hour or whatnot. So I think that like people that maybe don't know that or I think if people were like actually go back and like look at that and be like, oh my God, I was on Facebook for five hours this week, like, what could I have done for five hours this week that would have, you know, helped me or helped my family or helped my spouse or helped my kids played baseball in the yard for an hour? You know what I mean? Like, I think if you can relate it to that, it starts to really like chip away. And I really try like, you know, Facebook, I try to keep it in chunks of time. And it's funny because people be like, oh, you didn't like my post or whatnot. And like sometimes it's like I haven't been on yet today. You know, like there's times where I know like I'll go down a hole so I leave it off until I feel like I, I have that time. So I think like as, as everyone is just like more aware of how they're spending their, their time.

Absolutely. And that's, that's one of my favorite activities and I start that out with every single one of my clients and I do with my, my agent as well, pulling up that screen time. And I want to know, you know, what you're spending your time on, how long I want to know how many notifications you're getting in a day, how many text message emails, all of these different things twofold. On that. Is that when they say, oh, I didn't have time to do it, or, you know, I didn't have the availability or whatever, giving me a BS Excuse. Yeah, let's pull that up and let's see. Could you really. Right, like, so you're telling me that you didn't have the time, but it's because you were filling your time. It was not a time issue. Is a priority issue. It wasn't a priority to you. And then the other part too is like, with the notification aspect of it, I don't think that we realize how long it takes our brain to get back on to topic once we get disrupted. So interruptions. And I want to say the stat is like, it takes you on average 23 minutes to get back on topic, back on your wavelength. That from getting interrupted, right? So imagine every single time that you get interrupted, then tack on 23 minutes to start focusing on that same topic or whatever task that you're working on. Like, that's insane. That. I mean, my phone goes off. I'm sure yours does too. Like, it's like freaking Jingle Bells 24 7. And so like, and then people walking into my office or going on the appointments or running into somebody at the store, like, that's not even working. That is just dealing with people. And so no wonder I wasn't getting my task and everything done. So I had to realize it for myself first. So I love being able to do that for other people. Chin check for sure. And then be able to check in another 30 days, 60 days, 90 days out, seeing if we can go ahead and reduce that screen time and reduce the notifications at least, or figure out a way to be able to manage that a little bit more. That's going to be more efficient for you versus just trying to have everything right at your fingertips, literally 24 7.

Bring in that like that time blocking, right? Or like really trying to use your calendar, like in your. That. I mean, if that makes you happy to like be on Facebook, then like schedule it, you know, but you don't want to leave, you know, your, your clients hanging or whatnot when you are using time elsewhere. I mean, we're all guilty of it, right? Like, I'm not perfect by any means, but I think when you really start to sit back and think about, like, how does, you know, how does that affect my morning routine? How does that affect my nighttime routine? Like, what Are things that we can be giving back to ourselves so that we are fueled for the whole day. And, you know, I think that I've found that, you know, there's been some things going on in the office or whatnot. Like, feel like if I were stressed out to the max and not taking care of myself, like, I would not handle them the same way. Like, I look about like, actually two years ago would have been like, maybe a little bit of a hot head. For like now she's like, okay, like, super not cool, but we're gonna handle it this way.

Right? Right. I mean, totally valid, random story. And so, you know, Kim. Kim's our Director of Operation. O.P. director of Operations. There we go. That's her title. So her son, Jace, he got in trouble. Not gonna say what he did, but he got in trouble. And I didn't know this, but on her, on his phone, she put a. Whoa. A one minute limitation for social media on his phone per day. Like, and I was like, one minute per day? Like, you're like, that's torture. Come on now. So when we were at dinner one night, like, you can see him just looking at all these Snapchats and these notifications on his phone. And he's just waiting. So he tries to wait. Are he was waiting? Yeah, he was waiting to the very end to see how many people snapped him. And then so he would do one snap, go through and like highlight all these people really quickly. And then he was done. I was like, man, that. That is real torture. I'm so glad that nobody has the power over my phone like that because that would drive me insane.

Yeah.

Yeah. Didn't know that was a possibility. So there's a tip. If you know, Ben knocks out, then.

You can file that. You need to get in line. Just max it out for one minute.

Golly. Who thinks of that like that? Kim. Kim thinks that. But yeah, and I think that it's fun that we're. We're seeing a correlation here. At least I am. Like, we continuously go back to health and like our. Our personal health, mental health and all of these. And it's. It's quite astonishing how much I have neglected myself in the past and definitely having that realization and the people around me to support me to be able to be a better version of myself and grow into the person that I truly want to be.

I agree.

Cool. Well, thank you guys for listening today. We're excited about the next topic, so make sure you drop in and listen in. Subscribe and we'll see you the next time.

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