Rethinking Motivation: Beyond the Buzzword | LeadingLane Podcast | Episode 51

And I was like, all right. Like, I. I just don't think real estate's really your passion. Like, you're good at it. Like, that's fine. You're a people person. You want to help people. I get that. But go pursue something that, like, is drives you and your passion. And she wants to help family. She wants to share her story about Brady, her. Her son. And so she went, and now she's worked her way through, and she does amazing events for St. Jude. And I get messages from her every once in a while and saying, because. Because of me, she. She actually took the leap and she moved from Kansas down to Memphis. And, you know, like, to me, her saying I motivated her to go take this leap, and it was being able to find that her finish line or her goals did not align with mine. Not that that's a bad thing, but I helped her and hopefully pushed her to inspire her to go and pursue her passion. We do that.

Welcome to the Leading Lane Podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros, with your hosts, Ashley Frederick and Stephen Burch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic, and raw perspective, you found it.

Welcome back, everyone, to the Leading Lane Podcast. This week, we're going to talk about a hot topic word that I think many people take differently. There are different meanings to it. I think there's different things behind it. And that word would be motivation. So, Stephen, can you tell me what motivation means to you?

To me, motivation is movement, right? Like, it's creating movement. It's inspiring people. It's making sure that you're. You're being a leader is to. To motivate somebody. You know, I look at it as a football coach, a basketball coach. Like, to me, they. They're there to motivate. They're there to move and score, right? Like, they have players that they're. They're working with, where this is coming from. I made a post on Facebook and asking the question, what do you do to motivate your team? And, you know, there's different people's opinions, and everybody is entitled to their opinion. That's totally fine. But some of the. The comments on there were very. I was taken back by just more so that, you know, that, you know, you can't motivate anybody, and they have to motivate themselves, as I know that that is true. You can't want it more than. Than somebody, but sometimes people can't see, you know, their own potential in themselves. And I think it's our job as a leader to be able to pull that out and help them see that and shine in a different light and motivate them to move them, to move them forward to their goals doesn't mean that I need to motivate them in the fact of, at least to me, motivation isn' just, you know, bringing pizza to, to lunch and having champagne and orange juice at meetings. Like, yeah, those are little things to help with culture. But to me that's not motivation. I think that's more so just like I got the ick when I used to work for corporate America and all we got was a pizza party because we did something great. Like that does not motivate me. So yeah, that's kind of my breakdown of motivation. What is, what is your take of motivation?

So it's funny, I googled it so it says motivation is the internal state that drives people to eng. Engage in a goal directed behaviors. It can explain why people start, continue or stop a behavior at a specific time. It is a complex phenomenon that is studied in psychology, neuroscience and other fields. So I think that you're correct and that there is like a, a bad misnomer that's tied to motivation, if you will. And people just think like it's a buzzword, what it is. But I do think that you're right. If I even just try to look back at, you know, my own history of things, it's, you do have to have the internal. But let's be honest in that sometimes people's lights might get dimmed and they need something to help move them forward so that they do have a brighter light, if you will. And I think that that comes more so, like you said, from leadership, which comes from accountability, which comes from check ins, which also I think comes from chin checks, you know, because sometimes people might be stuck and if no one's actually having a conversation with them about why they're stuck, like we've talked about, sometimes it can be something personal at home, you know, it can just be something that was potentially misinterpreted, you know, in a conversation because we know that even via text things get, you know, misinterpreted and people sometimes, I think, you know, fester on those negative things. And I feel like if we're not being accountable and we're not checking in with people, that's when people's drive can change. Where I think if you put people in a room where drive type of conversations are being had, you know, that's its own internal way, I believe, of motivation by even just watching other people. So sometimes it has to do with some people's drive is competitive. Right? Because like, we're not competitive at all. And you know, again, like, if you're just out there in like La La land, it can be different where if you're kind of set in a room with people or that you can have conversations with people about what those big life long term goals look like, you can start to think about things differently. I agree with you that there are like. I remember, like, right. Even going back to like elementary school, I think it was. We got like a personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut if we read a book or something.

Yeah, right. Pizza Hut was my very first job, so I know all about the buckets.

Yeah, but do you know what I mean? It's. It's funny when you like, look Back to like 30 years ago, like, food was motivation then.

Well, look where the world is now. Maybe that was an issue.

They read too many books, damn it. Right, so. But it is like we like to use food here not as motivation, but we use it more as collaboration, if you will. So like, we do it for like lunch and learns. But I think the point is just, you know, in reading through some of these comments, you know, it was all just directed at people having to do it themselves. And you're right. I. I think. What's the book that we have both read that talks about. I think it's Kobe or is it Michael Jordan?

It's Kobe Driven.

It's gonna bug me.

Which one is it?

Driven or purpose or.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to look it up.

Yeah, it's gonna bug me. But anyway, you know, there is like the. There is an internal part of that, that they just wanted to be better, but they had a coach. Right? So, like, had Kobe not had a coach, would there have been the same type of outcome? Because there was someone that was pushing.

Them along and, you know, it's really funny. I'm going to call his ass out. Sean Carroll, Okay. Sean Carroll is the one that actually we were having dinner and he told me about this book and I'm trying to look it up on the books that I've read and told me that is this is the one that I should read and really was one of his favorite ones and blah, blah, blah. And so he motivated me, Sean Carroll, you motivated me, if you're listening to this, to read it. And so then there were. Therefore what I did was then pass that knowledge on and it gave it to Ashley and I motivated her to be able to read it too. And I think that's where maybe the. The context of the word of motivate is taken out a little bit too, too much as this buzzword. Right. Were you able to find the book? Because it is driving me freaking nuts. No. Winning and relentless.

Yeah.

Great book. And, you know, like. And I think that's where, like, you know, I'm looking at it too, and some of the different people that were on there. And again, I'm not bashing any of them. I have no problem telling them straight to their face or on a podcast. But, you know, it's funny because there's people that were on there that were. Were running for position on their local association board, board of directors. And to me, like, when. When I see that people don't like this word, you're there motivating other people to go and vote for you. Right? Like, you're, You're. You're legit doing the term, in my opinion. Now, I can't tell them that they have to have to vote for me, but I'm out there trying to inspire them. I'm showing them the path, the reasons why. Right. Like, I'm giving them the. The pathway of the reason why I should get them from A to B and vote for me. So I don't know, I just kind of think it's kind of. It's kind of funny, the context, you know, and it's no different than when we had Valerie Garcia on here about, you know, the 10x and grind, grind Away and, you know, all of these different buzzwords. Every. There's buzzwords that I hate too, but I think that's where, you know, going into leadership, maybe it's figuring, at least for me, I had to realize some of my definitions of these words. I hate the word coach. Right. Like, I hated the word coach because I felt like everybody was going out there and putting coach behind their name. And so I think it kind of more so made me feel some sort of way. So maybe instead of deflecting and trying to say I don't like said word buzzword, what is the real reason why it doesn't resonate with me? And is that truly this the correct term that we should be using when we're talking about the, you know, this type of things. So I don't know.

Yeah, I mean, and I think, you know, the question was, how do you. How do you motivate your team? I believe is what the question was. Right. And I think if you, like, if you do think about it, it's not just, you know, in the office, but if you think about, you know, at a sports, you know, like an actual game, right? Like there are ways, whether it's, you know, giving the ball to the not expected player. You know what I mean? Like if you were watching the history of like, now I know Riley, follow the Chiefs now, right? So shout out Taylor Swift. But anyway, you know, like there are people that people always think that it's going to be Travis Kelsey, right? And now he knows that. So like other people have had a chance to shine because he's helped them with that opportunity, right. Or whatever that might look like. But when you give people those opportunities, like they get better, right? So like that's the other part of it is like it's not just like motivation, it's. There's so many other words that fall into that, in my opinion, like accountability and opportunity and recognition. I mean, let's be honest, there are some people that do well off of recognition. And I think that's where it comes back to the leadership of really getting to know your people. Because there are definitely some people in my office that hate recognition. And so I wouldn't spend a lot of time on that where there are other people that, you know, feed off of that. So I think it's really just a matter of like, literally like what does motivate them. And you might hate that word, but like what makes your people perform better. And I can tell you that, sure, it might be self driven, but I've also seen in people, like when you've come from a toxic work environment, right? So like Charles is a prime example. When we were at our old brokerage, like everyone was unhappy and sure, like it's a. The office in general was negative, right. But then it does start to wear away at a person. Like, same with myself, right. I stopped going to the office. I thought about quitting real estate. That's because of your surroundings. As much as you, as much as you personally want to try to change that and do it, you can only be worn down for so long. So to me it's always interesting, like when you actually move people out of those and put them into a healthy environment that they can flourish, right. So then Charles moved over and like found his love for real estate again, right. Like I moved over, we opened the brokerage, had my best years in real estate. After I just thought about quitting. Like it's a matter of the environment plays into how people, you know, it does affect their internal drive.

I agree. I mean there's. I can't motivate or make you do Something you have to have that spark definitely there. But there are outside influences that bring everything together. You know, I. It's the. Shared this with you a little bit ago about. There was an activity that I did about. I mean, it's been a little bit with my team, but it was giving them a can of soda and being able to, like, I made them drink it or dump it out, whatever. And I did a competition. I said, okay, let's see who can crush this can the. The best. Right? And after we went through and we were talking about it, after everybody crushed it, then I said, okay, now let's put the can back together, put it back in pristine condition. And you can't. There's no way that you can pull that can back without the ripples and everything else. And so, like, that's the outside influence in this conversation of, you know, there is negativity, there is the toxicity. Right. There's the different things that people say. You can never take that back because, you know, even though that they can once. To make me get back to perfect, nobody else can make it other than, you know, that internal person. And it's. What is the. If you put a piece of fruit right next to a rotten fruit, it's gonna rot way quicker.

No, it just happened to my avocados.

Damn it. I can never keep my avocados, like, at all.

Because you can't buy them, like, green. Green. Because then you can't, like, use them.

And then.

Yeah, I got next to something and I had to throw them away this morning. But anyway, yes, you're very right. It spoils what's right next to it. Go ahead.

No, because my brain's still on avocados. I buy frozen avocados now for my smoothies in the morning.

That's a good idea.

Yeah. So anyways, motivation, you know, like, there's different words, though. Like the appreciation. Like you were saying, there's the. The five love languages, but there's the profile. Yeah, well, it's the. There's like, an assessment that you can do, but I can't remember the author for it. We talked about it before, but it's figuring out what is their level of appreciation or what do. How do they want to receive appreciation. And I think as a leader, you. When you motivate somebody, you want to understand what. How they like to receive that appreciation. You also need to know what is their underlying why. And that's another. That's a buzzword little phrase that I don't like. But understanding their why, where do they want to be able to go, I can't just throw all of this on. On top of them and say, this is what I want. If I'm really trying to help somebody get them to their goal, ultimately their. Their finish line of wherever that may be. I need to know a lot of these different factors. And when you talked about the chin checks earlier, you have to challenge people and you have to be able to allow them to see things from a different perspective. We're not looking at it all from the same lenses and the same areas of the journey in life. And the more that we can get down to the nitty gritty of that individual, I think that's the quicker that we can light the fuse to get them there faster to that finish line, whatever it may be. But let me flip this around. Like, let. Let's say that we're in an environment and we don't have a leader. We don't have necessarily the. The positivity. And everybo get to go do their own thing. And we're really like just kind of out there. How do you think those people perform without having any outside influence, Positive. Outside influence at all? And they're only relying on that internal motivation and that's it.

I don't think that they're probably performing to their capability. Right. So when I think that it's just in general, like when you're stuck in a rut and then there's no one to have those conversations with or no one to look up to, I actually feel like those people can start to just trickle down. I mean, I think that's. We're seeing it right now. I think our board president said in the state, or I can't remember how she said it, but like, less than 50% of the agents had had like one transaction. And like, that's mind boggling for me. Right? And, you know, a lot of them have called her to complain about things. And you know, I guess my question then too is just like, where's that energy coming from? Or where's the other part of that energy? So instead of like taking the time to. And we see it on, you know, like on Facebook groups too, like, people will complain about how slow they are or whatnot. I mean, question is just like, if you were put in a different room where somebody was challenging with that, or like, instead of spending an hour online complaining about something, like, could you be going out and meeting someone or could you be having coffee with a lender? But right, if. If you're just stuck with all the people that Then like, throw on there. Like, it sucks. This market sucks, right? And then like, I'm turning around and being like, if we're. Our office feels like it's July. So, I mean, like, that's because we're like, healing it. And like, what you're promoting is coming in. And I think that that's an opportunity where people do need to find outlets, whether it's buzzword coach, you know, whether it's something like what Neva does, the rise and thrive, right? It's an hour, twice a week to try to fill your mind with positivity and things you're grateful for. And it is, you know, Neva's very big on mindset, which I believe in, and visualizing things where you're just stuck in this, like, black hole. Like, that's all you're going to see is the black hole, right? Like, you have to be away, find a way to find that light somewhere. And I think even for me, that goes back to, you know, Imran, where I called Imran one day and I just said I was struggling and I was like, I need help. Like I need help in some fashion, right? And then he turned me onto a coach, which, you know, changed things. And it's the ability to ask people for help, whatever that might be, whether it's just, you know, I remember one time, like, I wasn't in a good mental space and I just like, wanted a friend to go to a pedicure with me because I just needed like an outlet for an hour. Right. And I think that that's really important this time of year as well. Like, I can feel it, like, right. It's dark at five o'clock here. It's dark when you wake up. Like, I feel like I go to bed at seven o' clock every night. I might have gone to bed at eight o' clock last night. Right. It's like, it's somewhat depressing and you have to have those people that are willing to check on you and make sure. Okay. And I think it's just, it's okay to ask people or just say, like, something's not right so that they can try to help. You know, I've tried to tell people about Rise and Thrive or told people to, you know, take some time off, whatever that might be. But unless we're. If we're all silent about it, like, you know, we can't help one another or find whatever that internal motivation might be. And it might just be a simple conversation that somebody need to get something off their chest, Right?

Yeah. No. And. And, you know, like, I think with this, too, like, you kind of went with it on, you know, in real estate, like, I think as a leader in here, sometimes, yes, it's recognizing people's pot. But in real estate, sometimes real estate isn't for you. And I have a story that Katie Mortimer, she was an agent for us for, I think, about a year or two. And, you know, like, she's a great gal. Love her. And maybe I think that she would be great as a guest on here because her story is absolutely freaking amazing. But she. Her son passed away very early of cancer, and so she did a lot of volunteering for, you know, St. Jude, and just a lot of different things. And there was an opportunity that came through, and we were. I think it was towards the end of the year, and I was like, all right. Like, I just don't think real estate is really your passion. Like, you're good at it. Like, that's fine. You're a people person. You want to help people. I get that. But go pursue something that, like, is drives you and your passion. And she wants to help family. She wants to share her story about Brady, her. Her son. And so she went, and now she's worked her way through, and she does amazing events for Jude. And I get messages from her every once in a while, and saying, because of me, she's. She actually took the leap and she moved from Kansas down to Memphis. And to me, her saying, I motivated her to go take this leap, and it was being able to find that her finish line or her goals did not align with mine. Not that that's a bad thing, but I helped her and hopefully pushed her to inspire her to go and pursue her passion. We do that, I think, as leaders, naturally and organically. If I don't like the word motivation or not like it is what it is, but it's that simple nudge to be able to say, yep, I need to go do that. Yep. I mean, I shared with you, I mean, things that I'm going through and whatnot. And there's a lot of negativity in life, and you told me, hey, maybe it's time for you to go back and look at therapy. And so I am. Right. So, like, you motivated me to go and do these different things, so maybe I'm just a little bit more passionate about it, because I think that, yeah, it's easy to jump on and, like you said, be negative on forums or, you know, comment on different things, but you don't really know the impact of your words. You don't really know the how. Just, you know, a couple of interactions or a dinner with somebody or pedicures with somebody, what that will lead to, what your suggestions or recommendations are for them, where they're going to go with that. You can't force them to go to therapy. You can't force them to go and do these other things. But you're there to like, I think we're. That's what humans do. Not just leaders. That's what, that's what I like to think that humans should be doing for one another. Humans over houses.

Right. I think that's, that's the point of that, of this conversation. Right. Is that motivation is such a. It's. There's so much more behind it. And I think that we're actually, we should all be motivating each other in some fashion, you know, whether that is via just checking in or accountability. And I think I'd encourage people to look at the word differently and to just show up for one another instead of being negative about it.

Agreed. It's okay. We don't like the buzzword, but I'm gonna go motivate people. Yeah, that's right. So. Well, thanks for tuning in today. If you would like to be a guest or have different topics you'd like for us to talk about, please reach out. We would love to be able to have you on and we appreciate your support.

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