Volunteering, Advocacy, and Leadership with Bobbi Slagle | LeadingLane Podcast | Episode 52

Absolutely. Yeah. It's a. We are like, what other industry do you have to work with your competitor on a regular basis to, to, you know, get to the end goal?

Sure.

It's a, it's a very, very unique industry.

Unique is a good word for it, for sure. And you know, I, I remember when I first got started, my, my grandmother was my, my broker. And so this was like in 2009. And the training back then with the company that we were with was, here's your, here's your bylaws, here's your rules and regulations, and here's your code of ethics, and go for it. And at the time, I didn't really understand, like, why do I have to know all this shit?

Welcome to the Leading Lane Podcast for Real Estate Pros by Real Estate Pros with your hosts Ashley Frederick and Stephen Birch. If you're looking for an honest, authentic and raw perspective, you found it.

Welcome to the Leading Lane podcast. We have a celebrity on our, our podcast today. We have the 2024 Delaware realtor of the Year.

Yes, sir.

Bobby, you know, you and I have known each other for quite some time and I don't want to dive into all the fun things that we've done. But first, how about you tell us, who are you? What, what's going on? Give us a little bit of background.

Oh, a little bit. I'm getting old, so the background gets longer. So I'm Bobby Slagle. I am the broker and owner for Next Home Preferred in Delaware. I opened the brokerage here at the end of 2018. I was the first to bring Next Home to Delaware. Since then we have some surrounding pop ups which are great. And let's see. So I've been in the business for 20 years. This year, August meets 20 years. And I became pretty actively involved in our association stuff probably. I think in. Starting in 2009, I became, I became a director on our local board on the Kent County Board of Realtors in I think 2014, 15, maybe somewhere around there. Tried to get off in 2021 and avoided their whole presidency thing for a long time. And like, no, I have other things to do. And then I got called back into the board like five months later to like help fix stuff. So then I became president of that board in last year. So I'm past president this year. And finally next year I am no longer on the board of Kent county association of Realtors. However, I will remain on the board for the Delaware association of Realtors. I am addicted, apparently unintentionally, to Volunteering. But that's because I'm passionate about what we do every day as realtors, and as. I'm very passionate about working with a consumer. And some days I'm just like, I just want to sell houses. I don't want to do all the rest of this stuff. But in reality, if we don't participate in everything that happens in the back end, then we have no right to really complain about it when it hits us and we're like, what is this? And, yeah, so that's me. I'm married with three kids, and right now, one dog. Probably another one coming soon.

You know, Ryan talked about the other day, we were sitting around and he goes, I think it's. We might get another dog. I was like, no, no.

So much fun.

Yeah. But, like, how do you. How do you manage all of that, Bobby? Like, you. And, I mean, I think you kind of. You missed out. Like, you kind of do some other things. Like, you have a property management company, correct?

I do, yes. There's a lot to list.

Yeah.

How much time do you have?

Yeah, we. I mean, we have a ton of time. Like, you are somebody that just amazes me with your constant ability to give back and. And to be able to truly invest into this industry. And so, like, kudos to you because I don't know if you've ever been frustrated with your association before. I definitely have, multiple times, but sometimes it's like hitting your head against a wall. And for the longest time, I didn't want to go away from that and get off the boards and everything else, because I felt that I had a huge impact in there. But there became a point where, like, I had to focus on myself. But that leads me to my question. So, like, obviously, this industry has shifted multiple times in the last 20 years, but the. I think probably the biggest right now is the. Obviously the nar, maybe just because it's the freshest, but the agents that are not investing back into the association, back into this industry. Do you think that there's a clear divide on who is actually producing the ones that are actually investing into it, or do you feel that you don't really necessarily see that return of investment for being on there?

I absolutely feel there's a return of investment for my own specific business. And I think that a lot of the agents that do participate also feel and see the return of that investment of time. And it really is about the knowledge that you gain while you're involved in the conversations because you can share that knowledge with your clients. It makes It So when I can sit down with, whether it's a landlord or a tenant or someone who's selling the house or buying the house, staying engaged in all the things that are happening on the back end of our industry allows me to have better, way better conversations with them than I ever would if I wasn't involved in those things and I wasn't paying attention. One of the biggest things that I, I hate, but I stay actively engaged in is just the public policy part of our industry. Because I can sit down with a seller and say, hey, look, these are the things that are coming down the pike. These are the things that, you know, conversations that are happening in our local legislation or our state legislation. And this is what you can anticipate how that's going to affect your ability to sell now or in the future or how that's going to affect the investments that you have in your home. The same thing on the buy side, like you can talk to them about, like this is what's, what you can anticipate. Are you investing? Are you looking to rent? Having all of that knowledge, I can have a way better conversation with them and I'm able to really actively engage their buy in to working with me very quickly because of being able to share that knowledge. So it's, I encourage everyone to get involved on some degree so that you can be a part of and hear those conversations and gain that knowledge. Because in the end, at the end of the day, it's all helping our clients.

I mean, competence equals confidence. And so I think that that is something that you have to be able to jump into. And I think a lot of people, when they hear roi return of investment, they're thinking, oh, I'm going to get that instant gratification, you know, like getting paid to go and be on this board. That's not what this is. This is an investment not only into the industry, but into yourself or your future self.

Right.

It would be amazing to get paid, but no, you're getting it. I mean our industry as a whole is, we all know is a, it's a long term investment, period. It's a long term investment. You know, our clients are making long term investments and we're, every action that we take is a long term pipeline investment. You can't look at the short term of what I'm doing today is going to earn me money tomorrow. It doesn't work that way. It never has. So it is competence and knowledge is what will keep people in the industry and have good long term successful careers.

Ashley what do you have for Bobby?

I think that, like, in our area, we find that. I think it's, like, intimidating for people to join the association. A lot of, like, you know, even people that have been in for maybe three to five years, because, you know, a lot of ours, it's kind of like the same six people in a different position, like, over and over again. So how do you try to encourage people that have interest but kind of are in that intimidating. I don't know everyone, I haven't been on the board type of situation?

I think that's. There's. There's two things to that. One is those same six people are begging for you to come help. They're tired. They want to have the future leadership come in and know that they can kind of teach and train and mold and help move the association forward so that they can move on into. Into other aspects of their career. But what do we do every day but put ourselves out there, right? When you go talk to somebody, to a client, to a buyer or seller you've never talked to before, you're putting on that face to talk to them. And you're doing a lot of listening, right? Like, the best agents are listening more than they're talking. So getting involved at the association where it feels intimidating, you have to remember that these people are just like you or were just like you early on in their career at some point. And the majority of them understand that about you getting involved, and they want you to be involved. And they. It's okay to go in and be a wallflower first, right? Like when I first started going into getting involved in committees, I would just kind of observe, watch, sit back, and listen and learn. It wasn't really until. It wouldn't be until maybe the following year where I would be able to have a little bit more input because I had a little better understanding of how they were working and how. What their goals were and where they were coming from and who they each were, you know, as a person and what their mentality. And we do that every day with buyers and sellers. We do that every day trying to figure out what their goals are, who they are, how can we best work with them, how can we adapt our. Our own personalities and selves to kind of help them through their process? It's really the same thing.

It's.

And you just have to look at. As people. We're all people, right? We're all flawed. We all have the ability to make wrong decisions. We all have the ability to think we're right when we're not. And then just kind of taking that first step to walk in the door and start with a committee that you're interested in.

Right.

Like, me personally, I could never be on the social committee. Like, that's not. I hate throwing parties. It's not my thing. Like, I'm in middle school, or I guess it was high school. I threw a surprise party for a friend and two people showed up, and I was one of them. Right. So this is not. This is not for me. Like, no, I don't. I don't want to do it. So I kind of. And financials. Like, I'm not. Yeah, I can do numbers, but I don't necessarily. I never. When I started, I didn't have a clue as to how budgeting works worked. But I went. I paid attention. I was one of those people were like, where am I dues money going? Like, what am I. What do I. What is this going towards? Right. And so by joining that committee, I gained an understanding and then was able to even just learn how to budget for myself better and my own business better by participating in that. And then bylaws was always something that I had no, no desire to be in. But somebody said, you should really be on bylaws. I'm like, this does not sound fun. But then I ended up, after about five years on that committee, chairing it for two years because you gain an understanding. You don't learn anything if you sit on the sidelines.

Yeah. Don't you agree to like it. It opens you up to, like, other people as far as referrals or people to just, you know, hey, have you seen this before? Like, I found that through some of those committee meetings, I found like a good referral partner or someone that just, you know, if you're not fair with something, it's just nice to run. Hey, have you ever had this happen type of situation?

Absolutely. Because the collaboration that we do, you know, there's 20 years. There's no way I've run across every single situation.

Right.

So we learn from each other. Collaborating, telling our stories, sharing our stories, giving ideas on how to do things. And that social aspect of getting involved. Even if you start by just going to an association event, a networking opportunity, I was, last year, I was running our new member orientations. It's. It's not something that is. Is nice to say out loud, but it's very true. You know, I'd explain it to the new agents like this. If. If I have two offers on the table that are the same exact offers.

Right.

They're same type of financing, same purchase price, all the same contingencies and terms. And I have two different lenders and I have two different realtors. I'm going to first look at the lender and say, what do I know about them and their ability to get to the closing table and to provide a proper pre approval and have vetted this buyer properly. And if I feel great about both lenders, then okay, or I've called both of them and feel pretty good, then I'm going to go to, all right, who is on the other side of this transaction? And I'm going to talk to my sellers about, hey, I know this agent. They've been in the business for this long, I know how they do business. They're very likely to get us to closing. This agent I don't know anything about. I never, I don't know anything about them. Never met him, haven't talked, talked to him, never had a transaction with them. That, that natural bias to go with somebody that you know is going to get the deal done is going to be there in the conversation with the seller. So by getting to know the other agents in your market through going to the association events, it's going to help you when you're on the side of the buyer, even with that agent, other agent on the other side picking up the phone. Right. I know that. What are they calling for? Right. That's very valuable in doing business for our clients.

Well, this industry is so unique as far as, like, those are your competitors that you're going to that social with. And so it's like, oh, why do I want to go and have a drink with these people? Like, I don't like them or, you know, they're my competitor or whatever else. Like, but really creating that co op relationship is so important. And then, you know, going back to when you were talking about like just getting involved, that's step one. There's somebody out there too that may not like to go to these events or never been to these events. And so just imagine if you create that relationship and then how that is going to be able to evolve. And from a leadership perspective, like when I was on the, when I was the president of our local association, that's actually how I recruited some of our agents. Not intentionally, but it's because I was speaking in front of people, like I was speaking my mind and they liked my approach on different things. And they're the ones that actually reached out to me because I was available in front of them and they were looking for the leader. So I really think that, you know, there's multiple different dynamics of why it's so important to be able to do it, but developing and nurturing those relationships are so important to be able to move you through those transactions and keep you in this industry even longer.

Absolutely. It's a, we are like, what other industry do you have to work with your competitor on a regular basis to, you know, get to the end goal? It's a, it's a very, very unique industry.

Unique is a good word for it for sure. And you know, I, I remember when I first got started, my grandmother was my, my broker. And so this was like in 2009, and the training back then with the company that we were with was, here's your, here's your bylaws, here's your rules and regulations, and here's your COD ethics and go for it. And at the time I didn't really understand, like, why do I have to know all this? I don't want to, I don't want to read all of this. And I actually think because I read it and understood it and knew the, the laws on top of the code of ethics and everything with the, the association, it actually made me a much better negotiator and it actually made me to where I had the confidence to be able to push back to when agents weren't doing things that didn't align with the ethics or the laws. But it also gave me the knowledge and ability to be able to know what is the next steps, to be able to accomplish what I need to. Not that I'm trying to go and get all of these people in trouble, but because I know this is outside of their lines, that's not okay. And I then got really wrapped into all of this. And one of the things that really got me intrigued was rpac. RPAC is something that I don't think that a lot of people talk about. How involved are you in rpac? What all do you do and what is rpac?

So RPAC in of itself? So I'm not on. I have been. You have two different, two different vehicles, right? You have like most associations have a public policy committee, and then you have your RPAC trustees. Right. Because RPAC in of itself is a political realtor, political action committee. Right. And you're absolutely right. It's something that a lot of agents don't understand what happens behind the scenes and what it's really for. But the RPAC funds that are collected through realtors go for a lot, a lot of, you know, we contribute to politicians. Right, but why do we contribute to politicians? We do that so that we can have a conversation with them. Right. So that they, when we call because of some sort of issue that's on the table legislatively, they're open to having a communication with us. And that's really what it does. And that's just the name of politics. Right. And then from the public policy standpoint, the amount of bills that we stop from ever even like getting to the public's knowledge is huge. It is. I know that our state Public Policy Committee this past year, this 2024, there were over 140 bills that we reviewed, discussed, debated and you know, made a determination of whether it's something that we can support, something we can oppose or something that we need to really sit down and have major conversations with the parties sponsoring these bills to help them understand the unintended consequences of the things that they're proposing and get a much broader conversation going. I met this morning with one of our, our state's House representatives in regards to some proposed legislation that has been at least it's been years in the making, but it's been on the, actually a bill proposed for probably the last five years. And you know, at this point in time it hasn't gone anywhere but we're very confident it's going to go somewhere. It's getting, got a lot of headway last year and our current legislation is very one sided. So from a public policy perspective and we're looking at, you know, it's not just all private property rights, it's also small business owners. Right. Because each one of us are small business owners. So how is whatever they're proposing going to affect the little man? Because a lot of times the target is the big guy, right? They're trying to solve issues from big perspectives and they forget about how it affects mom and pop. So that is what a lot of the time and energy involved with our public policy and RPAC contributions is how it's working behind the scenes. So it's just last week I went and testified at our Kent County Levy Court zoning and planning hearing because they are wonderfully looking to increase density in some of our smart growth zone areas where right now you can only put a single family home like per quarter acre. A lot of people don't realize that 60% of a builder's cost goes, goes out the door before they even break ground. And that's all of the zoning and the conservation and the development and the impact fees and the ridiculous bonds and the Traffic and everything that goes into it. So the builders from a viable, you know, monetary place have to build big, which is not in the affordable range, in order to be able to even run business. So it was amazing to go. And there were three people there that were going to make public comment on the bill. And before the public comment, of course comes out, the commissioners all have their say and what they think about it. And the lack of knowledge that they had in the conversation kind of blew our mind. You know, one, one of the commissioners had, his statement was, this bill is only going to help developers and realtors. You are completely missing the big picture about higher density for townhouses and condos and duplexes makes it more affordable for the builder to build affordable housing. Right. And who does that help? It helps everyone who works in the community instead of everybody that's coming to the community with money already.

Right.

So it's a big, big conversation which if we don't say anything, if we're not, if we don't have that organization and conversation and the task force behind the scenes and the ability for those legislators and commissioners to remember who we are because we supported their campaign, then we go nowhere. And the other thing that people don't realize, and there was a big article recently about the Property Owners alliance, which is related to, which is like a subsidiary of NAR's, you know, of NAR, period. And that they only contributed to a large number of like one sided things. But it's really not true. I mean, a lot of it is very bipartisan. I know our local pac, for instance, we will contribute to both parties on the same ticket. And you know, there's maximums that we're allowed to send. And so we look at what we have in the budget in the pack to be able to send. And our strategy is really to, okay, well, we don't really know who's going to win this. Right. And we need to be able to talk to either one of them. So we're contributing to both. And we're interviewing first and foremost and talking to them about housing policy. And then after our interviews, we kind of sit down and determine where those funds are going to go. And it's never just to one party or the other. It's really who's got the sensible housing, who can we support a little extra. And even if we don't necessarily agree with somebody and they've kind of burnt us in the past, we're still going to contribute so that we can. It just helps us have that conversation when we know we're going to need to.

A lot of people when they first hear about, you know, contributing to RPAC and political they're like well I don't want to give to this party or I'm part of this party. And you know, they think it's only party based and that is not what it is at all. It is policy based. And so you know, I, I think it's so important like we, we have a goal every year in our office to, for all of our agents to be a part of the 99 Club contributing 99 do dollars. And so that was something that, it was a huge. When I was a president and actually before I was a president that's what our local association did and then we did a merger and that went away for quite some time. And then when I was president I brought it back and you know, to be able to show that, you know, 30 something agents all standing up, getting recognized that our office is at 100% RPAC contribution. We had so many people come up to us afterwards like why, why is everybody doing that? Like why, why is everybody in your office contributing additionally from what is on that bottom line to a political affiliation? And so it's now creates this conversation amongst other members, member to member, that relationship that we're talking about. And a lot of people, they had no idea either the broker doesn't know or they're not involved. They just happen to be at that meeting. And one of the things that I always say that I remember going through was there was a time and I can't tell you which year, but they were actually looking at taxing our commission checks very, very much like a W2 commission type of model and stopped. And that was stopped because the contributions that were through our pack, you know, those were helped lobbied against that. And so that's one of the examples that I use all the time that's going against us as small business owners. We're getting taxed on top of like that's something I don't want to, I'm, I'm going to, I'll contribute $99 a year, you know, additionally to make sure that does not happen. So I think when you are able to find those bills that resonate and relate to the specific realtor at that level that they then start opening their eyes and then get more involved to now be a part of things like what you're talking about.

So one of the real, one of a real big win for us, you know, here was so, so we require $25 minimum, right? Like just give us $25. Like, please, like $20 is nothing. And well, we asked for, we don't require. But anyways, so that $25, we had a really big win where we were required to have a license. So we have a state license, right. For to. But if you wanted to put a sign in the yard in 30 different municipalities, you had to also have a business license in that municipality. Right. So we're spending a thousand dollars a year on, you know, having different municipal licenses in order to be able to do business in that municipality. About, I want to say it was about seven years ago maybe at this point we were finally able to like get legislation. This was, we did it locally that we no longer, we would have an exclusion within that, that business license rule for real estate agents, insurance agents had an exclusion but we never got an exclusion. So that we just had the one license and you couldn't give us a. We didn't need a license. For every little tiny municipality, the state has this license, that exclusion for 25 a year to save a thousand dollars a year. I mean that it's so basic. It's, it's like a duh, right? So a lot of people you think about just when people hear rpac, they think national too, right? It's all going to national and I don't want to give to that guy nationally or this guy nationally or whatever, but the majority of the money actually comes back to the state and to the local to be able to be utilized in local elections and, and for local issues. Part of the funds can also go towards outreach like, like public outreach programs to let the community know like we had short term rental tax this past year where we really needed. They kept hearing it from our side. But sometimes legislation will look as the, at the realtors as like that commissioner did. It's only going to benefit you guys. No, like this benefits the people. You're forgetting about the mom and pops. So we had to do a big campaign to try to bring in the public to talk to these legislators too. Like you guys are the ones they need to hear from from their constituents. So it's a lot of different, there's a lot of different things that we do. It's not just going nationally and it's not just, it's not just all housing. Like I said, it's small business.

Absolutely. Ashley, were you taking notes? No, sorry, I thought you, you looked up and I read your face wrong. My bad. Okay, so if you were looking back, Bobby, and knowing the things that you know now, what would you tell yourself your 20 self, 20 year old self, 20 year ago self. What should you be doing differently about your involvement within association and within your career?

I think if there's anything I would tell myself 20 years ago, I think it would be they're just other. They're just people. Whether I'm to not feel intimidated, right. Because I'm new to the space, getting involved in, in just the public policy stuff and you know, doing a testimony in the hearing or something like that, you know, the idea of it 20 years ago was like, you're out of your mind. I don't know anything about politics. Like I don't know how these things work. Like everyone wants to run by Robert rules in a meeting. And you're like, what does that even mean? Like I have to wait, vote. Like wait, we're not allowed to vote yet. We've got to do a motion. Wait, there's not a second, so don't talk about it. Right. All of that stuff, it was all very, very intimidating. And if I could tell myself, then I would just remind myself they are just people, just like you. And they all put their shoes on every day. They all put the pants on. Maybe one leg goes in the other one first, whatever. But they're all just people. Because I think that's the biggest inhibitor for people is that fear of not knowing, of being judged, of being out of place. But even the smartest guy in the world is still puts his shoes on every day. So that would, that would be.

There's like a, there's an aspect of getting like fresh ideas or fresh opinions because somebody that might be new to real estate just might think about it differently or you know, haven't had that. So I think that knowing that, you know, the newness of them can actually potentially benefit everyone if it's something they realize that maybe this ocean needs to train on better because no one seems to understand these types of things. So I agree with you. It's, you know, just a matter of showing up, right. And not being intimidated and know there's a spot for everyone.

Yeah. I mean the look, the older people in the business have get stuck in our ways, right. Like it's that we have our own bicycle. It's always been done this way. And the new people bring a fresh idea and a fresh perspective and geez, I mean our industry evolves so fast with all the. Since technology came into it. Like it's just what we did yesterday could be very irrelevant today. So I love the new perspectives and fresh ideas from new people in the industry. I mean, I was there once too, where I would be like, well, we've always done it this way. This is how we've always done it. And people will still call me all the time, Bobby, how have we always done it? I'm like, well, this way. But it doesn't have to be absolutely fresh. Perspective is wonderful. I just, just kind of like think about it this way. Like, if you don't, like I said earlier, you don't get involved. Like, what, what right do you have to say anything? Right? If you have issues about how something is going but you don't speak up, then there's no way to ever change it. If we all kind of sat back and looked at it as well, somebody else will take care of it or somebody else will do it, or I don't have the time, you know, that person will handle it or whatever. If we all thought about things that way, nothing would ever move forward. Like, imagine you're on the beach and you see, you know, you see a kid that's, that's flailing in the water and they're drowning and, and I sat back and I said, well, I'm in the middle of doing this. Somebody else will help them. And everybody had that mentality, somebody else will help them. That kid would drown. Right. So as much as it's outside of our comfort zone or sometimes we say, oh, we just don't have time for that, it's like an obligation if you're going to be in this industry to participate in one form or another outside of just working with clients every day. Right.

Well, and I think that kind of goes back to like, yes, you know, this helps with the confidence and everything. But the more that you're involved, the more that you are contributing, investing back into this industry and giving back, you know, you're also now creating your reputation and so which creates, you know, creating respect. And so you may be entering into this, this realm of, you know, going into volunteering and everything else. Maybe a bit timid out of your comfort zone, that's okay. But because of you're pushing yourself through that uncomfortable feeling, it actually may result into what you're actually going after and desiring is the respect and mutual peer to peer interaction that we sometimes combat with other realtors. I think that, you know, contributing and giving the fresh ideas and going in with a level head. One of the things that I always did, because if you guys believe this or not, I'm very opinionated and I'll speak my mind. I have no problem with that. So what I did was I constantly, when I sat in that board, boardroom, like, I had to look at it from, you know, an agent hat. What would somebody else think? What do. What would my agents think? What is my broker opinion? What, you know, put that hat on. And then from a board perspective, you know, for overall, everybody. And then let me put my president hat on of how does this change? You know, yes, it may be one little change over here, but how does that now affect different. Other clauses or bylaws or rules and regs or anything else? So you really have to look at it from multiple different perspectives. And I think once you can start sharing it and being able to show other people how your mind is working, I think that really helped me tremendously because I think a lot of people at first had this, well, Steven's a bulldog. Stephen's so opinionated, blah, blah, blah. Well, yeah, negotiations and a contract. I'm very good at that. But I do have critical thinking aspects, and I look at it from. Try to, you know, multiple different angles. I don't always get it, you know, good and spot on, but at least I'm able to start vocalizing that. And I think that opened up way more conversations and allowed other people to let their guard down. And then that actually created way better relationships. Later on, when I was selling that, I was no longer that bulldog. They understood where I was coming from because I was acting in the best interest of my client, just as when I was the president, I was acting in the best interest of the entire association.

Right. I mean, I think. I don't know how it is for you guys, but I think it's like this across the country. I tend to refer to the body of agents as, you know, we're very high school.

Right.

There's a whole lot of rumors around there about people or, you know, you're. You're in a transaction with someone and like, you say they're. They're bulldog, or they're being really, like, tough because they're negotiating for their client.

Right.

That doesn't mean that's who they are as a person. Or sometimes we. We judge somebody because of how something went in transaction. And it's not the agent that was making those decisions, it was the client. Right? And we're relaying those decisions whether we like it or not, agree with it or not. Our job is to do what not only, you know, is in their best interest, but what they tell us that they want to accomplish in whatever that situation might be, whether a transaction falls through or or whatnot. So we have those interactions and we, we tell somebody else about that and oh, that agent did this, or this agent did that or blah, blah, blah, and they're terrible or they're awful. And because we, as much as it's emotional for our clients, doing this is very emotional for us too. It could take a toll. So we allow our emotions to come into those conversations with other agents and forget to give each other grace sometimes. But when you actually start to network and get involved and just going to an association event, I know there's a one, she's a broker. And I know for years I just heard all these things about how terrible she was and awful and blah, blah, blah. And then so I kind of, you know, I always avoided her. I try not to judge based on what other people say, but it's natural. And probably about four years ago, I had the opportunity at an event where she was. We were engaged in conversation with a group and her and I started having conversations. And I have a totally different opinion of her now and the totally different level of respect as she does as well for me, just because we actually had a human connection and conversation as people, not just as. As agents in a transaction. So that is a huge, huge benefit of being involved, is people have a perspective of me because of how I am when I'm teaching or how I am when I'm leading the association or in a transaction. I'm very like, I'll quote the contract to you and say, no, this is how it goes. And let's, you know, and work for my client. And so they have an opinion of me. But when you, when you get to know me, I'm. I'm a wallflower. First of all, I don't like to put myself out there, but we have to in our industry. And I really am corny is all, like, so corny. And I just, I like to have fun and laugh and be cheesy. That's really, at the end of the day, who I am. But there's an idea of who I am just because of what we do transactionally. So I think it's a big benefit is getting to know people on a different level. It helps a lot in transactions. And when we deal with. With other agents on the other side.

Well, let's kind of dive into a little bit, shift gears here. Let's go into that. Having fun. Bobby, right? Like, so every time I see Bobby, like, I just love just saying her name, Bobby, and she gets this big old smile and like, the hands go up in the air. And, you know, like, this is. If we're at a conference or something, you know, just passing by, and it's just kind of this fun little game. And so you have this energy. You have this poise about you. I don't think that you're quirky in a bad way whatsoever. I think that's what makes you who you are. And that's where the energy, you know, attracts me to you so much. So, Ashley and Bobby, you're gonna have to tell the story because I'm not going to get it correct. We were at a conference one time, the three of us. Well, I think there might have been somebody else in the car, but we were going to an event, huh?

I think so.

Was it rain? Oh, yeah, it was. Yeah, it was rain. Kind of important, right? So I think we're going to go to topgolf is where we were going.

Yes.

All right. Well, what happened? Because all I remember really doing was just laughing the entire time.

Yes, that's pretty much what I remember, too. So, Ashley, I'm going to, like, pin this on you.

I vaguely remember. I think Bobby and Ryan and I were in the back seat and Steven was in the front seat. Because I do have a picture of you, like, laughing hysterically, like your whole entire body was shaking.

We're in an Uber going to this place, Right? Like, to top it off. Yeah.

This was in. I think this is in Salt Lake City, right?

Yep, I think so.

And I don't quite know how it came up. Oh, I think it came up because we were going to topgolf. So then this Uber driver starts telling this story about his friend that went to topgolf. He didn't say where at this point in time, but he started mentioning a topgolf. And then more or less, that his friend got shot at this, like, right in front of the top Golf. And then there's always this ongoing joke since I have a Cadillac, which Steven does now as well. And, like, how people, like, automatically assume that you're a drug dealer if you have a Cadillac. It's just like, one in the same. So we joke about it all the time. And then the guy's like, you know, because he rolled up in his gold Cadillac, Everyone looks at me. And I was like, no. So anyways, telling this whole story, I. I think he said the guy died, if I recall. Like, he was murdered at this topgolf because of his gold Cadillac or whatnot. Well, then I think Steven thought that it was the top Golf that we were going to like.

I Mean, a horrible situation. Right? Like, that's not what we were laughing at. Like, the actual, like, shooting or anything.

But you're driving us to the top Golf.

You're like. You're telling. Like, you started kind of talking it up, and then you're telling us about. Like, we're about to get shot up. I'm like, where in the hell are we going? You have no clue where we're at. Like, in your.

And then all of a sudden, I think he said something like, no, no, no. It was California. And then we're all like, oh. And then he's like, you know, I probably shouldn't have told you that story. I don't know why I told you that story. I should probably just stop talking.

Absolutely.

Then he just cranked the music up, just, like. Just jammed out. And I was like, this is the most awkward freaking Uber drive. Like, the three of you guys were squished in the back. Like, I'm over here. Like, I'm trying to hold it together, not laugh it. I did not do well at that because I didn't think. I just felt like I was laughing at him. But really, like, this whole story came.

Out of, like, left field. I mean, complete left field.

I'm pretty sure there are a lot of cracking jokes about how we were about to go die and everything.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, so we actually made it to the top Golf. I was. There was quite a bit of a sigh of relief.

My goodness. I just. Like, I couldn't get out of that car fast enough because I was laughing. I was like, I have to get out of here. Like, this was too. This is too crazy of a story.

Yeah. Like, we don't take a Uber home.

No, that's what I was gonna. Yeah. Somebody volunteered to drive, which I don't know necessarily if they were in the. The correct condition to. To drive us or not, but I.

Feel like we're going, like, 100 miles an hour down the interstate with, like, all the windows open and.

Yes. Yeah.

And just. I think the music blaring and just singing, and I was like, this is the most random freaking evening of my. I can't say my life, but, like, it's gonna fit. Yeah. For.

That was, like, the actual, like, first time I ever spent any time with Bobby. So I was like, oh, we made it through that. We'll be friends forever. We good? Yes. I do love it anytime. You know, again, it's even. I think it's just, like, not even our pack, but I think anytime you're going somewhere where you don't know a lot of people. Like, for me, I always say, like, I came into my franchise, like, in the middle of COVID so we didn't get a chance to meet anybody. And then. So you go to these conferences and you feel intimidated, right, because you don't know anyone, and then whatever. But what I love is, like, as you've met people along the way, you know, like, last time I saw, like, sorry in the hallway and, like, this random big hug. And, like, those are just the things that keep people coming back and, you know, keep feeling comfortable. So thank you for being you.

Absolutely. Yeah. The first time I went to a conference was when in Vegas. That. In 2019. March 2019. And, you know, don't know anybody. And this. Everybody's there, right? It's not just the brokers. It's. Everybody's there. And I think the first day, it was lunch that I was sitting there just trying to figure out what I'm gonna get, you know, kind of hanging out. And I was invited to sit some other next homies to have lunch. And that is just. That's the group of people, I think, that have been attracted to. To this franchise, to this brand, and to who we are as people. Just have fun, caring, collaborative. Like, we're all human at the end of the day. And that's absolutely one of the things that I. I love most about this group of people is the level of acceptance. And. And it just. It makes my heart warm.

And, you know, like, one of the things that I struggle with is going into big groups like that. And I'm really an introvert. Like, I love getting around people. Yes, it gives me some energy, but also it exhausts me at the same time. And I'm not really the person to go up and, you know, say, hi, my name is Stephen. Who are you? You know, like, let me. Let me show you the ropes. So I try to do better at that, because that, too, when I first went like that, opening open arms. Welcome. Like, I love that. So I need to do better at, you know, turning that around and having the other new people that are coming through have that same type of experience and bring those through. Let that be at a, you know, a conference for the franchise or let it be for an association. I think that we all can really do better at opening the door for others to invite them in.

Absolutely.

We have our.

Our holiday party tonight for our association. And as much as I know a lot of those people, as much time as I have spent with them, I still. I. I still Like, I'm gonna go, and I'm gonna be like, okay, who am I gonna talk to? Like, I'm standing there, I'm gonna look around. Like I said, I'm. I'm introvert. I'm wallflower all day. Like I said earlier, like, we've. We do this every day with our clients, right? We put ourselves out there, we have a conversation, we open our mouths and we get other people talking. Like, that's the best thing. Ask questions and get other people talking. And you can just sit there and listen. And so I. As much experience as I have had in all of these things, I still think about it before I go. I'm like, all right, I'm gonna have to have these conversations. Okay, what's going to be my dip out? Like, when am I going to leave?

Right? But.

But all the most. Every time, I'm one of the last people there.

Once you're there, it's just like the little hurdle of getting there is what it is.

It's gotta. Gotta just jump in.

It's like going to the gym, right? The hardest part is going once you're there.

Oh, no, I don't go.

Yeah, well, I know that's the hardest part. I'm with you. I'm saying that. But. So how do you feel about your personality? Like, if you're an introvert? Like, a lot of people don't understand this. Like, you know, I think listening to this or watching this, like, and be like, you guys are introverts. What? Like, we can sit here and talk because we know each other. So how do you feel that your personality in this industry, like, has that helped you or has that hindered you? Or, like, have you held yourself back? I know that was kind of a loaded question.

Yeah, that's definitely like a 50. 50 help hurt, right? I think that. I think that being introvert is helpful when I'm going into a new situation and I listen more than I contribute or talk the majority of the time. And that. That listening part is huge, right? Because you can digest, absorb, and then kind of figure out how to correctly respond, right? To. To the group that you're talking to. So that is a. Is a benefit. But on the other side, on the flip side, that introvert has definitely held me back, I think, from taking risks or doing things outside of my comfort zone. Look, I think a lot of us can relate to this whole video thing. Just even being here, this podcast, and putting ourselves out there is huge, and we all need to do it in the industry. But it's extremely uncomfortable.

Right.

I wish. I've been telling myself for years, I need to do video, I need to do video, I need to do video. But then you spend, you know, literally I'm 100% positive, like there's. I've got. Got blooper clips of me going, okay, for the hundredth time, like, let me try this again. And then you spend hours and hours trying to like, edit it. But then now with AI, it's amazing how simple it is. And also just like going, telling yourself, okay, this is what I look like. This is what it is.

So that's what people see when they see you in person.

Seem to be okay with that. So this morning I did my first video of a listing where I'm in the video, like introducing the house. Like, that's my first one. And it really wasn't that hard.

Right.

And then so the videographer is like gonna show me the three takes and I'm like, look, you're the videographer. You know what you're doing. Just do it. I don't need to look at myself anymore because then we'll, we won't talk again. So just do it. Put it together. And that's, that's probably where the inhibit, like of that wallflower, like, personality and has been bad. Yeah.

So I don't think it's bad. Right. I think it's good for you for recognizing that that is where maybe some of your weaknesses are in what, what you just did there is you. I mean, you did a self analysis. Right. Like you said, I know my personality. I don't want to look at myself. And I know that if you send me those three and I have to edit it myself or critique them or whatever, I'm never going to do anything with it. So put it in somebody else's hands. Delegate that out. So delegate out to your weakness. And then you're going to be able to figure out a system to be able to get those posted. So they're just not sitting in your inbox or in a file somewhere. Right. And so I think that makes you a great leader, actually, because you're able to look at that mirror and be able to say, hey, like, this is my issue. I know I need to be able to do it. Here's the gap that I need to be able to, you know, find that solution. And now let's, let's move forward because what I think you're going to do, and I'm going to make an assumption here, you're going to turn around and help other People, other agents, your agents with that same type of concept when they say, I don't like this, you just shared the story. Now, can you inspire, right. Can you motivate other people to be able to do that same thing that you just did? So I don't think it's a bad thing at all. It's the self reflection, mirror.

Thank you.

Mentality. Absolutely.

You make me. My whole body feels a little warm. I don't take compliments well. I'm very uncomfortable right now.

I know. I know nothing about that either. So, Ashley, like, I know you've shared before about, you know, being a female in the. Not just. Not really the industry. I mean, obviously you're a female in the industry, but your, Your issue was not necessarily with people within the industry. It was being a strong, very confident, beautiful woman. We have two women here that are. So, Bobby, my question for you is, has that happened to you in your area and what did you do to overcome it?

Absolutely. I had. And this was. I was probably only in the business, I think maybe five years, and I was. Had changed offices, and I'd been there maybe about six months or so. And one of the staff members of that office, she made a comment, she goes, I really thought you were a bitch. And I was like, okay, well, I'm not. I don't think I am. But that, that. So I have. I'm 5 10. Well, I'm probably 510 now. I used to be 5 11, but, you know, you get older and you shrink. So I'm five. I, you know, I'm not. I have a stature. And when I walk in a room, like, I, I didn't. I. I like to wear heels because if I don't, my heels actually hurt on flats.

So.

But people will say, oh, you're so tall. Or like. And people that are short and like, oh, my gosh, why are you so tall? So it made me uncomfortable because I have the stature, and people think when I walk in a room that I'm a certain. I'm a certain way, or that I'm a bitch because I have a stature and I'm a wallflower. So I don't want to, like, jump in and start talking to everybody. And the only thing that I can try to do to com well combat that is work to be more open, work to put myself out there more so that people don't feel that way about me. But I've definitely heard that people feel that way about me. And I don't know that I've. I've ever Come up with a specific way to respond to that, other than laugh and be like, well, now, you know, I'm not, so. And I've. I know one of some of my best friends, we did not like each other at first, at all. You know, they were of their personality. I have my personality. And we're looking at each other from afar going, right. Come to find out we're very similar and we're like best friends. So it's just the only thing I could do is just try harder to put myself out there, I guess. What about you, Ashley?

How do you.

How do you deal with that?

It's tough. You know, it used to. It used to bother me. I don't think that it bothers me as much. But you're right. I mean, some of my closest friends would always be like, I thought you were the biggest bitch. Like, you know, and it is. I don't really. It doesn't bother me anymore. But mostly everyone says that I have a resting bitch face. And I used to. It used to bother me. And like, now I just say, like, I've got a really strong jawline. I'm sorry that offends you, you know, but it comes over time. It comes over time with people. What I think I've learned is that sometimes that has to do with more so with the other person than it does have to do with me. And I think that, like, as I got older and as I found other, like, strong female friends in my life, when I would tell them these stories about people saying that, you know, they thought that I was a. Before they met me or whatever, they were always like.

Like what?

Like, the thought never crossed my mind. Like, I have never thought that about you, you know, so it's so amazing how people can think so differently. And I. And then I think I just started retracting that. That that's because, like, they're comfortable with themselves in that fashion. So they didn't see me as any type of threat. So I think when I've looked at it more so that way, it doesn't bother me as much. But you are right in the fact of, like, I understand in general that females that are confident and strong are just intimidating to anyone. I mean, it's just a lot of men are taken back by it. Other women are in the same sense. There are women that are attracted to that, that are like, ooh. Like, Neva is a prime example. Like, in Steven's office, like, the first day, like, she saw me, she was like, oh, my God. I know. I knew That I needed to meet you immediately, you know, so you have those types of people. But you're right. And then I tried to be just a little bit more aware and maybe just do the, you know, hi, how are you? As much as like nails on a chalkboard for me. But. Right. It's just that part of it. But I think, think really it's just a matter of trying to understand that it's more of a reflection of them than it is for me. And normally when I tell people, if I hear those things, I just say like you should ask any of my friends, like that's your loss, not mine. Like I'm the most loyal human you will find. You know, and if you just. People will kind of get past that. And I think you're right. People will say like, I can't believe I thought that about you or whatnot. And we're all human, we all make assumptions. I think if we all just try a little bit harder to realize a lot of other people have things going on at home or things that we don't know about. And sometimes it gets portrayed in their outwardly features when in all reality they just need someone to say hi and ask them how they're doing.

Yeah, we have to give each other grace. Absolutely. I think most of my girlfriends nowadays would absolutely. If you ask them who's the troublemaker? They're always pointing at me like I'm the instigator and I don't know that I am. I think some of the other ones are.

But Bobby, I think that we were at a bar in New Jersey, right? Yeah, you were the troublemaker.

It's just so much fun, you know.

Like one, one of my favorite things that Ashley, your, your comeback to this like is. Is spot on. So we'll see if we can get it. Ashley, you're intimidating.

Am I intimidating or are you intimidated?

Facts.

And I think like hearing that and being able to realize that like typically it's coming from the person that that's hurt or hurt. Hurt people. Hurt people. And I'm not saying that everybody you know is hurt by the judgment because I think that we all do pass judgment on this. But you know, those feelings that we have typically start from within ourselves first. In, in Bobby, I think you, you hit the nail on the head. Like we have to give each other grace. And I think what it is too is getting great minded people like this group right here together to be able to have these conversations that I don't think typically people have. Typically people, you know, will bottle everything up and think that that is the way it is and, you know, like, we're never going to be willing to be able to share stories and everything else, but ultimately my goal is to be able to impact lives and to be able to bring other people with me in that journey that want to be a part of a difference and making a difference. So I appreciate both of you wonderful ladies. I think that you guys are freaking phenomenal. And just the investment that you guys have back into this industry is huge and constantly raising the bar and raising the standard. I think that if there were more people out there in this industry that had our same type of mindset, not that they need to have the same opinions by any means, but mindset and future growth, it would really change the industry and impact industry in a very dynamic way versus having such a negative reputation as realtors. So kudos to you guys.

You're freaking awesome.

Well, thank you. Well, thank you.

All of that.

Right back at you.

Thank you. Thank you. Well, I appreciate everybody tuning in today. If you have any topics or if you'd like to be a guest on our podcast, please do not hesitate to reach out to us and we'll catch you next time.

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