Coaching: Co-Regulation

And so when you think about co-regulation, it really is this process of using yourself to be able to influence someone else's nervous system. And then as we move into adulthood, we can calm other people through the process of empathy and perspective taking. And so when I say empathy, it would certainly be things like saying, wow, that's That sounds huge. Being able to acknowledge what somebody else is experiencing without getting into sympathy, but staying in that place of, that's a lot. The point I wanted to make around calm attunement was to think about what your voice sounds like. And so even now, decades later, when I'm coaching, when I'm speaking with people, I really have to make sure, especially if I start getting a little bit nervous and leaning towards the red zone, that I'm bringing my voice tone down so that it sounds more resonant, resonant, so it doesn't get fast, it doesn't get breathy. Um, the calmer that your voice can sound, the, the more you can influence someone else's heart rate, their vagal tone, etc.