Spoken excerpt from a YouTube video by Tanya Hughes describing how to run appointments with couples. The speaker advises always having both partners present and focused during appointments (virtual or in-person), gives example scripts to invite the partner to sit and listen, and recounts anecdotes where having both present changed the outcome of the conversation.
So I have. I do get that one. And I'm not a confrontational person. I'm the person who will hide in the bush. But when it comes to appointments and when it comes to that, I'm more confident in what I'm doing. And so I'm a little better at that. But I think, for instance, if the husband's on there, and obviously I wanted to make sure they're home. Okay, is your wife there? Because at this time, I probably don't even know the wife's name or Barbara. What's the Barbara? Is Barbara there? Or is she. Where is Barbara? Oh, yeah, she's cooking. I'll say, oh, hey, Barbara, nice to meet you. And normally they'll come over and kind of wave. And I say, now it's important that. And I asked if this a good time for you guys, because it is important that I have both of y' all here so that way I can explain everything to both of you guys. It won't take long, but I do need to explain everything to both of you and that both of you are focused. And I know. I know if I'm cooking dinner and I've got my baby on my hip and I'm doing this and this, I'm not really paying attention to anybody else. And so I can't really. I mean, I'm good at multitasking, but I still can't. Still can't take everything in. Like, I need to. Like I said, it'll be quick, but I do need to go over everything with you guys. Is that okay? Are you available to sit down? If not, I can call you at a different time if she's really that busy cooking. But most of the time, they'll sit down. But when I explain to them that I do need to have both of them there, because you want both of them engaged. You want both of them engaged? Because most of the time if, like, in my experience, the wife is the one that wants it more than the husband. Because most of the time, like, last week, I had a guy who. He did not want his wife on the appointment. And I was like, look, out of respect for your wife, I need her there, okay? Because this is going to affect her. So we need to talk with both of you. And she's the one who ended up telling him, I can't survive without your income. What are you talking about? Are you crazy? And that would not have happened if I didn't have both of them sitting in front of that camera where I could paint the picture for both of them. Not one of them, but both of them. Because what you'll have is if the wife's in there cooking or she's vacuuming the floor, putting the kids to bed or whatever. When you have that, only one of them is paying attention, and that's the husband. And what's the likelihood of him being able to explain it to his wife as good as you just explained it to him? 0. 0. What they'll probably say is, this is insurance that if I die. But it's not. It's. They can use it while they're living. And so I just call that. I throw the elephant in front of the room and call them out. I need you to come sit right here. I love to see all spaces so I can go over everything with you.
