Why Every Athlete Needs a Will (and a Plan) Ep 107

Every endurance athlete remembers the moment when things finally click. Your swim feels smoother, your pacing makes sense, your fueling works, and suddenly the sport feels not only easier, but more fun. And for many athletes, that moment happens at training camp. That's exactly why we created the Endurance Edge Triathlon Training Camp happening April 22nd through 26th at Lake Jocassee in South Carolina. For 4 incredible days, you'll train in a small group with expert coaches, sports nutrition support, and sports psychology guidance, all designed to help you train smarter, race stronger, and finally connect the dots in your performance. We swim in crystal clear mountain water, ride beautiful and challenging roads, run scenic trails, and spend the rest of the time recovering, learning, laughing, and eating some seriously amazing chef-prepared food. Mm-hmm. Camp is intentionally small, just 20 athletes, so you get real coaching, true connection, and amazing breakthroughs. So if you want an experience that can transform your entire season, we invite you to join us. Head to theenduranceedge.com and click training camp and reserve your spot with just a $100 deposit. Come train hard, learn a ton, and leave stronger than you ever imagined. I'll see you there. This is gonna be kind of an interesting episode. I've got my guest here, Erin Edgar, and we are talking all about legal issues. So let me give you some quick background before Erin introduces herself. So I had an aunt who passed away a couple months ago and Through that process of obtaining her will and the ensuing things that are going on right now with extended family that we maybe weren't very close to and all these other things that are happening right now, I'm going, wow, this is a very important thing that probably not a lot of people know about. And sure enough, I was having this discussion with some of my athletes in our strength class and I was floored to find out how many people either don't have a will or don't know anything about these things and are not prepared. So I want to educate everyone out there through Erin's expertise. So welcome, Erin. I'm so excited to have you here.

Thank you, Kris. I'm so excited to be here.

Yeah. So give us a little bit of background on how you fell into this process and why this matters.

I did fall into this. I worked for a legal not-for-profit law firm for 11 years and did anything but this work. We did public benefits, we did like housing law, we did foreclosures and landlord-tenant issues. And then my grandmother died in, uh, 2018, and her death, her will and everything was a hot mess. Not because she didn't have one, but because she hadn't updated it in 20, 25 years or so. And, um, she got sick and everyone who was assigned in her documents, not even her will, but her other documents to protect her during her lifetime, um, had died. It was very sad. And so it was very difficult for the people who were alive and were her closest family to help her when she needed it. And also upon her death, we thought she may have had different inheritance intentions, but we weren't sure, so we had to abide by what was in her will and her trust documents for the family business. And that caused some rifts and stress in the family. Fortunately, we were able to wrap it up and it was satisfactory for everyone, but emotionally it was very difficult. And I always knew that I wanted to help my community, which was why I was working for the not-for-profit. We were very community-oriented. And when this happened in my family, I made a commitment that I still wanted to help my community. And I wanted to ensure that this kind of hot mess, hot legal mess, did not happen to families in my community if I could help it. And so that is how I fell into this work in 2020 with COVID looming. There was a point at which I, like many people, went through a value assessment and said, what's really important? A, helping my community, and B, helping my community in the way that I am uniquely suited to do so based on my own experiences. And so that is when I started my own law firm. I realized that I cared a lot about people. And so I began calling myself the caring attorney and moving forward to ensuring that the help that I gave to the people who came to me was carefully constructed, was thorough and customized to their own personal needs.

That's amazing. So what I'm thinking, and we brought this up before we were, uh, recording, is that now people are gonna be like, oh, I just need a will. Let me Google, how do I do that? And a lot of things are gonna pop up, I'm sure. Oh, absolutely. So what sets you apart from something like that they can just execute online? What is the whole process they go through? And it, and it, I know it's, it's pretty amazing. So tell us about that.

Sure. So you can go online and find all kinds of ways to just go through this process. We call it estate planning online. Get your will, get some, you know, HIPAA documents, some healthcare power of attorney and whatever online. You can go to Dave Ramsey's site, you can go to LegalZoom website. I'm telling you all these things so that you know that that is out there. And at the same time, it is really worth your time and your treasure, which is a fancy way of saying the expense of coming to an attorney such as myself and asking questions, telling an attorney about yourself and asking the questions to determine how a plan can be custom tailored to your situation. These online plans are, are not. You go in and you say, I'm, this is my name, this is my spouse or partner. This is, these are my children. And you may not know whether or not the will or the documents you construct are really the right ones for you. You may say, for instance, oh, I just want my assets divided among my children. That may not be the best plan for you based on your family dynamics. You may say, oh, I just want my husband to handle my healthcare decisions if I get into an emergency and, and go to the hospital. That again may not be the best plan for you given your husband's emotional stability in the face of a healthcare issue that you're facing. Maybe another family member could be a better fit. And so I always tell people, these documents are not about you. They're about your family. They're about your team and ensuring that you have the right people in place to support you. And the attorney's job, well, we create all the legal documents and they say all the legal things that you, we need them to say. And on an online service, you may not get that. They're creating them based on your answers to a bunch of computer-generated questions. The attorney's job is not only to create those documents, but also to guide you personally through a, not only a series of questions, but also a series of counseling I say legal counseling. We're not therapists, but we're legal counselors in the sense of we know how to ask the probing questions, which computers don't, to determine who are the best people to be on your team to help you do all of these really, um, heavy, sometimes uncomfortable tasks to ensure that not only are you supported during your lifetime, but also that your hard-earned property that you own at death— property is anything: money, cars, land, clothes, anything that you own at the time of your death that your hard-earned money purchased for you— is given to those that you love, is given to any charities that you support. And these things change over time. And also, that's an attorney's job to make sure your plans are updated over time and to make sure that you have the right team in place supporting you how you would want and to acquaint you with all the options that are available to you based on your situation and give you what you really want for your intentions.

That's great. So tell us a little bit about your process and how it's unique, because I find this fascinating about the way you do things. It's not just like you're going on like you had described a computer-generated form and filling all these things out, you're really asking some of those probing questions. So can you give us maybe some examples?

Absolutely. And I will say my process begins with a computer-generated form, but it doesn't stop there. So I offer people a 20-minute, it's called, I call it a Protect You and Yours consultation to get to know you. And many attorneys actually they kind of hand this off to their paralegals or their assistants to do, cuz we're not asking deep questions. However, I really like to do these myself because I find getting to know you on a personal level and becoming acquainted with your personal concerns, even on an initial level, is very important to me and how I process information. So, and also important to you because, you know, you get to know me as well and we can determine whether we're gonna be a good fit to work together. I find that's very important. Because some people respond differently to, you know, our personalities may not work together. That is completely fine. I am not attached to working with everyone who comes to me. I want the personalities to mesh because I find that's very important in our collaboration process, which is how I see this work. And then if we agree to work together, my next step is a 2-hour paid consultation, which does begin with that computer-generated questionnaire because I need to know in order to design an estate plan that will be customized to you, not only your contact information and your assets, but also the concerns that you have. And I have places where you can put your own concerns if they're not addressed. And I like to have all of that in one specific place, not only for me during that consultation, but also for you to take with you after that consultation. So that consultation is a 2-hour deep dive into you, into your circumstances as they exist now, into your history a little bit and why you have the concerns that you have so that we can design a plan that takes all of this into account. Again, your will is not just about your assets. Your planning is not just about that. But in my opinion, your planning is about your values. Any, I call them intellectual and spiritual assets, any wisdom that you wanna pass down to future generations or to the people you care about, and also supporting the people you care about. It is not just about your children, it's, and or your spouse, it's about anyone that you care about to let them know that they are loved and supported. And so during that consultation, we talk about all of that and all of the values you have, even causes you support and why, so that when we design your plan, we can take those into account. So at the end of that consultation, you have a choice, and this is always the client's choice. We design the estate plan that I highly recommend for you. We talk about if it's the one you want. If there's some other things that I did not include there, they come up as well. And these plans all include like a will, powers of attorney for your healthcare and finance, HIPAA documentation if you don't already have that. And also any trust planning that I think would be right for you or that you say that you want. And I tell you at the end of that meeting or towards the end, you have a choice. You can either purchase these planning packages, which are all flat fees. You know exactly what you're getting. And if you decide you don't wanna purchase that, you can go on your way knowing that you have gotten valuable information from me in terms of the estate plan that I recommend. And you can take that with you and hopefully act on it and go to the attorney that's right for you and create that plan. There are always things that, again, computers don't take into account. Even if you try really hard, they're not going to incorporate value statements or anything like that in, in your planning. For your intentions. And so if you decide to go forward, then we go through what most attorneys go through, the whole drafting, signing. We have some meetings where I explain things to you that I may have uncovered that I may have needed to include, or you get also, should you choose to read through the entire plan as it is drafted before we sign it, the opportunity to do so. With the understanding that the process lengthens a little bit when we do that. And I also wanna be fully transparent with people and allow them to read through things. I do not have a signing that a lot of attorneys have where you're trying to ruffle through everything and I'm trying to explain things to you at the signing. When you're doing this uncomfortable activity, you've got notaries, you've got witnesses, you got papers flying around. You don't wanna have to have the attorney explaining things to you at the last minute. So I make sure that's done beforehand. And then when your documents are signed and executed, I give you a 3-ring binder containing everything so they're not floating around in the envelopes, which a lot of attorneys give you a file folder, an envelope. I make sure they're bound together and they're bound in such a way that you can take them out and take them anywhere you need to go. And depending on what you decide, we can either call it a day or We can continue our relationship, which I believe is very important to continue that client-attorney relationship because these plans are not set in stone. They are dependent to some extent on the transitions that you go through in life. And so what if, you know, you get married? What if you start needing some extra emergency planning because now you've taken on a very intense Sport, for instance, and you need special advice to people who may find you in an emergency about who to contact and how, and that's not in your initial plan. Maybe you moved and we need to adjust things. Those kinds of things I can help you with by reaching out to you if, if there is a retainer for that, reaching out to you every so often and helping you to put these new things together. You change your mind about something, for instance, those things should be reflected in your plan, and I have a way to allow us to keep in touch to ensure that those things are carried out. So that in a very long-winded nutshell is my process.

And you also will help execute some of these things, correct? In terms of, so tell us about that, cuz it's like, okay, well now I have this binder.

Mm-hmm.

And then, you know, who do I tell? Where do I share it?

Oh, absolutely. What do I do with that?

Right.

So, um, In the, in, you know, as this process goes along, we talk very much in detail about how do I, once these plans are executed, which is what we call signing them, what do I do with them? Who do I talk to? How do I have the conversation? Because, you know, we could write down, we could write a letter to the people that you appoint or, you know, put on your team to support them in knowing what to do. And actually I do that and I also give you some thoughts about how to have the conversation with them, because while it is your decision, some people may be really uncomfortable with doing that and they may want a little bit of guidance. I remember, for instance, when my parents re-executed their estate plan when they moved initially to another state, I was not old enough yet to take on the responsibilities and they didn't know whether they want to give me that responsibility. So they gave it to my cousin. Initially. And, uh, he seemed to be a very responsible person. And then they talked to him about it and he was kind of like, I don't know whether I wanna do this or not. And so they had that discussion with him and eventually they changed their minds and talked to me about it. And I said, absolutely, there's nothing that I would love more than supporting my parents. It's an honor because, you know, parents don't wanna burden their children. It was primarily their reason. And, uh, I said, you know, it's an absolute honor. I agreed. And then they changed it because we had a conversation about it and communicated about it. So I give people thoughts on how to have that conversation with their, with their loved ones, with the team members that they appoint to support them.

That's really cool. And, and what's coming up for me is, um, you know, similar situation with my aunt passing away. We had one of our clients who's His father recently passed away and apparently he had most of his things in order, but some of these, um, you know, to be, say, um, someone who actually executes this will, am I saying, hopefully I'm saying that properly. Um, there's a lot of responsibilities. Um, we, we actually had an employee of ours who was at the time in school and in her early 20s, and she was blown away. With how difficult some of these things are, especially since, you know, her father at the time who had passed away was not very well organized. So tell us a little bit about that and how maybe it makes it easier perhaps, or changes the story, right?

So yes, absolutely. And, um, this is one of those situations in which, especially with a younger person or persons who have family members that were not well organized, And they have papers just everywhere. This is one of those situations in which an attorney can be very helpful to people who have been named. The, the signing of the documents is the execution. You know, what happens after a death is called the administration. So, um, that's the process in which, you know, people take these to the courthouse and they say, this person died and what do we do now? And they get qualified as the administrator, or as we call it in North Carolina, the executor. Um, I should say disclaimer, anything I talk about is true in North Carolina, and I'm not really licensed to talk about anything in another state, but this is North Carolina specific here. The person can be very overwhelmed by these responsibilities. And so that is where an attorney becomes helpful. If people come to me and sign up and pay the lifelong lawyering, they pay for that, then one of the things that I offer to their executor, in other words, if they die, the person that they appoint to handle their will and all the responsibilities that go with that, one of the things I offer the executor in that plan is a complimentary 60-minute consultation, which is when I can talk to that person about what their responsibilities are. You know, again, and we send them a letter, we can do that. You can have the conversation with them about that while you're living. But then a death just really overwhelms people. It does things to people. I mean, like, it's a scary time. And some of these, you know, some administrators can look back at that letter and say, I don't understand a word of this. I thought I understood it, but now it's too confusing. They can, they can go to an attorney. And if you have hired me, for instance, you, they would come to me because my name and firm are all over the documents and say, "Look, I'm really stressed out. What can I do?" And in that case, I can consult with them and tell them, this is what the process is. And the, you know, and then if they wanna hire me, especially if their family is really unorganized, their person who died, then we can do that. We can go through the process together as far as they want. Some people just hire me to do the whole thing. And then I do that and I file paperwork on their behalf. I help them put together inventories of what people owned. I help them sell or donate things if they want my help with that. Basically, I'm just there for them as a support for whatever it is they need. But an attorney's help with an initial consultation after death is very beneficial because the courthouse just gives you a little packet and then sends you on your way and expects you to do everything. That you need to do, and an attorney will help guide you.

So what I'm hearing you say is how, in my mind, can you be more organized so that there is less headache for your loved ones afterwards? And that's really where you step in, right?

Yes, that's where I step in. I help people do more work on the front end so their families have less work to do on the back end. Um, I had a client who put that to me in that way once, and I said, well, that's, you know, nicer than saying I help people clean up a hot mess, because really you didn't intend to leave things in a mess, but that's how it ends up if you don't take the time and put the energy and, yes, the money into ensuring that your intentions are all written down and your things are all straightened out, because you're worth it. You're worth giving this gift of love and caring, not only to your family, but also yourself. And this is a, in a sense, a statement of love to them. You're doing this so that they can have less to deal with upon your death because they want to remember you from that vantage point of love. They wanna have their own time to grieve while recognizing that they need to handle some things and you make sure that they handle them in the ways that you would want because you've already written it down.

So yeah, that's great things to think about. And, and as you're speaking, I'm thinking of all like, okay, let's pretend I died tomorrow. My name is on a house. I have bicycles. I have bank accounts. Just trying to jog people's memory of like, what are all the things that you own and what would happen to all of it? Right. Uh, is there anything I'm missing?

All the things that you own and what would happen to all of it and all the people you love, who you want to provide for, who do you wanna have a memory of you? And when we leave behind, I mean, you know, our bodies go away and at the same time we have things that we leave behind, property, jewelry, anything. So do we want to leave something specifically to a certain person? Or do we want to leave things to, you know, just at large, a certain number of people? And if we want to leave something specifically to a person, why do we wanna do that? What is the intention behind that? Maybe she loved your— let's make this easy. I know you're married, right? Yes. Chris. So maybe you have a wedding ring and a diamond engagement ring that you want to keep in the family and you want your children, maybe if you have a daughter, you want your daughter to inherit that. Maybe not to give to her to use as her engagement ring or anything, but just because it's a special thing and you wanna keep it in your family. Whether or not that's true or not is, you know, not necessarily important here. It's just a demonstration that not only do you just leave your property to certain people in certain amounts, but your will gives you the ability to gift that to a specific person. If you own a house, we wanna know Who also lives in it? Because maybe you wanna gift that to someone. Maybe you don't really care. Maybe you just want it to be sold. Maybe you want your husband to continue living in it, and if it's not titled properly, he won't be able to continue living in it unless you say so. And then what happens when your husband dies to that house? What do you wanna have happen to it? I know some people, for instance, I've had clients who say, I know my dad wanted to rent out this house. To continue getting income from it. He wanted to turn his house into investment property. Well, did he say that in his will, for instance? And some clients, they do so that their will makes clear what they wanted to have happen.

These are really great examples of things to get people thinking. So in North Carolina, if I didn't have a will, or anybody out there does not have a will, What happens to at least your stuff?

That is an excellent question. So if somebody out there doesn't have a will, what happens to your stuff is dependent upon like laws that the state has. It's like a default estate plan for what happens to your stuff. It's based on these sort of medieval legal principles that were in Good old England in North Carolina, in, uh, England before we colonized the US. In some states, believe it or not, it's based on principles from Spain and France, which we will not get into here. But what ends up happening is that your spouse inherits a very small amount. This is contrary to what most people expect. Your spouse inherits some of your money and a portion of the real estate that you owned on your death. Unless it's titled properly so they inherit all of it. Many people don't expect that. They expect everything to go to the person that they're married to, or if they're not married, to their children. And it may or may not do that depending on who's living at the time of your own death. So what happens to you may be different than what happens to, you know, somebody else down the street, and it can be seen as a little bit random. Unless you understand the history of it. So it, it can feel arbitrary and surprising for people. And if, for instance, you have children, not all the children may inherit unless they're, you know, legally yours in the sense of their names are on birth certificates that list you. I had a situation, and I know other attorneys have been in this situation where like clients come to them and say, well, I have A child that I know is mine, but his name's not listed on his birth certificate because his mother didn't know who the father was. And so we can account for that in a will, and you can account for that in a situation where you don't have a will, but it requires a lot of court process and the family may or may not be able to make that happen. So having that will, you can say, I want also to have X considered as my child so that X can inherit from me. Those are the kinds of things that a will can open up to have happen. Whereas with no will, either they don't happen or there's no process to be assured that they will happen.

Interesting. So what's coming up for me is what if you've been divorced? What if you have been living with someone and you're not married and you sort of consider them your partner, but you're not legally married? What if you have stepchildren? I'm assuming all of these things apply if you didn't have a will, then that's where it can get a little messy.

All of these things apply. If you didn't have a will, all these people would be ignored. Not necessarily your new spouse, but if you didn't have a will, your partner, your life partner would be ignored unless they had other inheritance rights, like to your retirement accounts or your life insurance or something, they would be mostly ignored. Your stepchildren would probably be ignored unless again, they had beneficiary rights to something else that you had. But for the most part, all of those people who are not biological relations to you or tied to you in some legal way, like marriage, would be ignored. Wow.

Okay. So even more important to have all this looked at. The other thing I'm thinking of, especially since this, as a dietitian, this is something that we are trained in, in terms of advanced directives, you know, like whether somebody is fed or not fed depending on their situation. So I'm also thinking of a woman who was in our community who was struck by a car a few years ago. And I don't know what her legal situation was, but has had some lasting brain injury issues. So, you know, a lot of us are out cycling on the road, or, you know, we drive cars. I, I mean, there's 8 million different situations that we could probably think of. What are some of, some of the hard questions that you're asking that we need to consider when it comes to some of these things? Because when I went through this process, I was like, oh my gosh, I did not even think of that. Wow. You know, in, in our heads we're like, oh yeah, if this happens to me, I want that to happen. But then the scenarios just keep coming and they do.

Wow.

Yeah. So tell us about that.

So yes, this brings up a lot of things that are very uncomfortable. Like we don't know what's gonna happen to us from, from day to day. Uh, today for instance, I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying at home and working from home, but tomorrow I'm going like to 8 different places. At least it feels that way. And what if I get into a car wreck tomorrow? What would happen to me? I'm in the hospital unconscious, and if I have no planning, who's gonna make my emergency decisions? I can't fill out a HIPAA form for that hospital. You know, a lot of times you do that before an operation and they, that puts that into place. But if I don't have one for the hospital I'm taken to, who's gonna make decisions about my treatment? Well, the hospital will, and they'll make them based on their policies that they have. But what if I wanted different decisions? Or what if they have a choice? What do they do? Well, they could ask my husband, but first, before they contacted him, they'd have to know that I was married to him. What if I didn't have any ID on me and my ID doesn't necessarily say I'm married to him? It just says my name and, you know, my address. They'd have to investigate and really drill down who lives at this property and ask all these questions. And honestly, do they have time to do that? So they'd make a decision based on their policies. Maybe it wouldn't be the one that I would want. Your friend, for instance, had to have probably really complex surgery. Did, you know, did they know who to notify before any kind of complex surgery? You know, I don't know, but those are the questions that people need to consider, especially if they're athletes. But, but if you're athletes and something happens to you and you're alone, I was thinking, you know, people who bike a lot, they're on these biking trails, maybe they're not in a group, something happens to them, they get in an accident. Who's in their court to make these decisions for them, or who would they want contacted? So for starters, I would suggest having a simple emergency contact card in your wallet or something that you carry around just to have a person that you could contact. Who would you want to be, to rely on, who you trust and who, you know, loves you and knows you sufficiently enough to agree to, you know, give you care and what kind of care you would want. And the second thing I would suggest is legalize that. And put it into, you know, uh, we would call it a healthcare power of attorney here in North Carolina, some legal form to not only tell the person who finds you, but to tell the whole world who you would want to make these decisions. What if you have to be transferred to different hospitals? You have different doctors attending you. That's the benefit of that type of document. And it's really worthwhile having an attorney walk you through what that you know, what these documents can and can't do, because the authority that you give someone can be limited according to what you want it to be limited to. But not everybody knows that. And again, LegalZoom won't tell you that. And even if it does tell you that, you won't know the limitations probably that you want to give unless someone walks you through scenarios of what could happen if you actually allow these things to play out.

Wow. So So if somebody were to get this, you know, they're inspired now, they're like, okay, I'm going to fix this. How do people get ahold of you? What's that process look like?

Sure. So the link to my website is in the show notes. You can find out a lot about what I do there. The best way for people to get ahold of me is either to email me or to call me, and that information is on my website. And will be in the show notes, I trust. You can also fill out a contact form and get ahold of me that way. And I respond relatively quickly and we can set up a mutual time to get connected and go through the, uh, complimentary consultation process.

Love that. So it sounds pretty easy, Erin, the caring attorney.

Awesome.

All right, Erin, this has been a wealth of knowledge. Thank you so much for educating us all on this process and how we can better care for our loved ones.

It's been a pleasure to be here.

Yes. Awesome. All right. Thank you so much. And again, like we had mentioned, all that information of how to reach Erin, and it sounds like you can work with anybody in North Carolina.

Mm-hmm.

Correct.

Absolutely.

Okay. So all that information will be in the show notes. She is very timely in her responses. I can guarantee you that. So Erin is fantastic to work with. Erin Edgar, thank you so much for working with us.

Thank you, Chris.

Thanks for listening to the Find Your Edge podcast. If you like what you heard, don't forget to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. And if you're interested in learning more about our endurance coaching, sports and wellness nutrition, metabolic and sweat testing, triathlon training team, or our triathlon training library, be sure to check us out at theenduranceedge.com. And don't forget to follow us on social media at The Endurance Edge. Thanks again, and we'll catch you next time.