25 Strategies for Building Healthier Relationships

What's up guys? Hope everybody is doing amazing. Thanks for joining me for another Facebook Live. I'm here also on TikTok, TikTok Live as well. Um, but most importantly, I want to just thank you guys for being in this group. Thank you all for your participation, your engagement, your involvement in the group. You make, uh, the Total Breakthrough Group really what it is, right? Transforming your life from the inside out. And that's what this whole process is. And that's why the process, right, that we created, that I use, that I created with all the clients is it's called the Inside Out Method, right? And tonight what I want to talk to you guys about is I want to talk to you guys about 25 strategies for building healthier relationships. 25 strategies for building healthier relationships. You know, in doing this work for over a decade, working in and out of the clinical setting, I've worked with thousands of people, right? I've been on TV, I've been in magazines, I've, you know, I've worked with some of the top performers in America. And what I can tell you right now is that the one area that a lot of people struggle in is relationships, right? Because relationships are where our deepest needs, right, are met as a human being. Um, by the way guys, if you're actively struggling, please take advantage of my free resources. They're in my bio. All the free resources are in my bio. Please take a look at the free resources. They're in there for you guys. I created them for you guys, so please go and take advantage of them. Um, I created them again for you guys. So they can offer value to, to you. If you haven't downloaded the Downshift Technique yet, I really encourage you to go get access to that. If you haven't watched our free training yet, please go and watch the free training. Um, it's an opportunity for you guys to learn and understand, right, what might be missing in your relationship. So I want to ask you guys, right, tonight, right, have you ever been in a situation where it's like you're trying to solve the relationship, the problems in the relationship, but you can't figure out how to solve them, right? You feel frustrated. You're wondering, should I leave this relationship, right? You feel stuck and hindered in the relationship. And, you know, sometimes, like I tell you guys all the time, right, some people prefer— they prefer the broken version of you in the relationship. And sometimes they prefer that version of you is because what they've become accustomed to. What's up, Steve? Where are you joining us from, man? And for the rest of you guys, if you're just joining me, please type in the comments where you're joining from. I'd love to see where you guys are coming from, where you're joining us from right now. How many guys can relate to that, right? Trying to solve a problem in your relationship, doesn't matter, it seems like no matter what you do, it's never enough. It's never good enough. It's never enough. Or, right, you're stuck in this situation in the relationship where you know you're the problem and you can't seem to fix it. So I always like to say there's a, there's really a couple different types of people. So you have the people who are attackers, people who are overly emotional, they are passive-aggressive, they have angry outbursts, they project, they're extremely defensive, they react. And you have the passive type, right? Passive type are more the avoiders in the relationship, right? People who are Avoiding change, right? Avoiding conflict. They're really avoiding a lot of stuff in their life. They're avoiding mainly having those hard conversations with their spouse, right? They're avoiding the conflict. They're avoiding the deeper conversations. They're avoiding getting to the root cause. They're the avoider types. And then you have the pushover type. So the pushover types are they, they allow themselves to get just steamrolled in the relationship and they don't do anything about it. They complain a lot about their spouse, but they don't take action to remove themselves from the relationship or change the dynamic. So a lot of times they're the enabler in the relationship. So we all have a role in a relationship and sometimes we don't want to look at that because it can be hard for us. Um, and sometimes we get trapped in these dynamics with people. So it's important to look, right? It's important to look out, you know, what is my role in a relationship? I tell you guys this all the time, right? I've been in— I've been on all sides of a relationship, whether it's, whether it's I'm being the scapegoat or it is my fault, whether it's— and I share this with you guys because that's why my first relationship ended in divorce. My first marriage ended in divorce. My first marriage ended in divorce over 15 years ago because because of me, right? Because of me, because of the behaviors that I wasn't willing to change and I wasn't willing to look at. And that's what, right, drove me among many other things to come into this space, right? Um, and work in the clinical setting, right? And doing everything else that I've done over the years. So I provide these groups to you guys, these videos for you guys, right? Most importantly, just to offer you guys value. Call me crazy. I like to see people succeed. I like to see people win. I like to see people change. It's my passion. It's my purpose on this earth. So I want to share with you guys 25 strategies for building healthier relationships. I see some people in the comment section. So I got Marcos from Florida. What's up, Marcos? How you doing, brother? Sean from Louisiana. What's up, Sean? We got Juan from Texas. What's up, Juan? And for you guys just joining me over here, if you want to go in the link in my bio, you can have access to our free Facebook group. Just check out the link in the bio and you can access the free Facebook group in here. I got Ivan from Chicago. What's up, Ivan? How you doing, brother? Um, so I'm glad you guys were able to join. So I want to talk about this tonight. Tell me if you guys can relate to this. Let's kick it off. Number 1, becoming aware of your attachment style and its association with your triggers. Okay, so identifying which situations and people tend to trigger your attachment style and planning ahead to manage those triggers. So first of all, what is your attachment style? Okay, your attachment style is— attachment is a necessary bond that you develop with one or more of your caregivers in your early life. Right? So it's the way that you do relationships. And if you had inconsistent parents who were emotionally unavailable, or you went through experiences in your early life, this is going to fracture your attachment, meaning you're not going to be very trusting of people, right? You're not going to be very open in relationships. You're not going to seek emotional, emotional closeness. You're not going to really learn to be vulnerable. You're not— you're going to have a more guarded approach. You're going to feel more insecure in relationships. You're going to be more anxious. And so it's important to know your attachment style. And it's important to know its association with your triggers. Right? It's important to identify which situations— what I mean, when you look at a trigger, right? I tell you guys this all the time. Is it a trigger or is it an opportunity? And this is the work that we do in the Total Breakthrough Academy, right? The Total Breakthrough Academy, my personalized coaching program, that I have over 85 people in right now, right? In this program, it's focused on, right, helping you understand how to actually solve the problem. Not just the knowledge, not just some, you know, video that I watched and not just some information. Information is whatever. Yeah, it's powerful. But what's more powerful is what you choose to do with it. Information can become transformation through what we call application, right? It's when you start to apply what you're learning. A lot of people have trouble with this, and that's why I created a proven process inside the Total Breakthrough Academy that helps you do that. Now, what's the process? Well, number one, we need to explore the problem and pain. We need to help you get clear about the one problem that's causing the most pain in your life. First. Second of all, we have to examine your brain and body. We have to teach you the process of how to rewire your brain, how to engage your brain in what's called neuroplasticity, and how to move beyond these mental blocks that you have. Third, we have to expose. We have to do a self-inventory, right? Leave no stone unturned, man. You got to be looking in every nook and cranny, right? You got to be looking at your life. Why? Because you can't heal what you hide. You guys hear me say this all the time. You can't conquer what you don't confront, right? So you have to make a connection between your past and ex— between your past and beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve you. The second part of the program is called Engineer. It's all about alignment. It's all about forging new synaptic connections and aligning your inner man. All about that. It's about evaluating, it's looking at your values, your self-worth, and then envisioning. So it's about making sure that your values are in alignment with the man that you want to be. So it's making sure that you eliminate your guilty conscience, you eliminate any forms of shame and guilt that are self-induced, and you eliminate any sense of cognitive dissonance, lying to yourself, right? You can get into alignment with yourself, which is what— where confidence comes into play, right? That's where confidence comes into play. Confidence comes from being good at something, right? You're confident in something because you're good at it. So what does confidence mean? That I'm good at being me, right? Right. And I tell you guys this all the time. Is it a trigger or an opportunity? Things in your life are only triggering when they're connected to something else. For example, if you had an addiction to alcohol and you're like, man, that liquor store really triggers me. The only reason the liquor store is a trigger is because your brain and body have connected that stimuli, that liquor store, that place with an experience of drinking alcohol. The only reason it's a trigger is because you drank alcohol directly afterwards. So when you look at these triggers in your life, it's important to understand, right? When you're triggered, it's just revealing something within yourself. A lot of you guys think these problems that you have in your marriage and your relationships are because of the relationship. No, it's not. It's because the relationship is where your deepest needs are met. It's where all your shit comes out. Everything that you haven't done, all the work that you haven't done. And the irony is that a lot of people, they end up sabotaging and pushing away true love, unconditional love, because a part of them actually believes they don't deserve it. I know, because I've been there. So the first strategy is to know and understand your triggers. And to learn how to manage those triggers. Next is to seek out relationships that are supportive and encouraging. So you got to develop a relationship with your spouse that's based on mutual respect, right? So many guys always ask me, they're like, man, how do I gain back the respect from my wife? That's like my favorite question. It's like, well, do you respect you? You're so worried about what you need to say rather than worried about what she needs to see. I mean, do you respect somebody that talks down to you? Is there anybody in your life that you respect that talks down to you? Personally, I've never met a single human being in my life that talked down to me that I respected. Doesn't exist. When people like what they see, they're more likely to listen to what you say. When people like what they see, they're more likely to listen to what you say. Hence, respect, right? Now, here's the thing. When you get to the point where you're so consistent with these tools that I teach inside the program, one of them being, right, available to you inside the Downshift Technique, If you haven't checked out the link in my bio, please go do that now. Right? Again, guys, I create these, uh, I create these resources and these assets for you guys. Uh, they're for you. It's free information that I give away for you guys. And, uh, they're available for you. If you guys are interested in learning more about the Total Breakthrough Academy, um, again, this is a private program. And we do not work with anybody. We're not holding your hand. We're not coddling you. We only work with serious people who are serious about making a fucking change. If you're not serious about making a change, then don't click the link, please. Oh, I'm kind of interested, or maybe not. You're either going to be all in or you're not. You're ready to commit, you're ready to change, or you're not. If you're not one of those people, then just please utilize the free resources now. Now, right? Tommy says, so because when you were going to liquor store, you're going for liquor. Yeah, absolutely, man. That's, that's what creates the trigger, right? A trigger is any internal or external experience that your brain is hardwired with, with whatever stimuli is there. So it's important that we understand, right, working on developing communication skills. Can't use the same communication skills you use in your business in your marriage. You can't use the same communication skills you use with your employees in your marriage. I communicate a certain way with my employees, right? With the guys, my whole entire team that works with me in Beyond Driven. I communicate a certain way with my guys. I'm not going to communicate the way I communicate with my guys with my wife. That the two are like oil and water, man. You're talking about an intimate relationship with my wife, and then you're talking about, right, a work relationship with my employees. So you have to learn to become multi-dimensional. You have to learn to meet the moment with what the moment requires from you. Let me say that again. You have to learn to meet the moment with what the moment most requires from you. So what does the moment most require from you? I'm going to tell you, some moments require violence. If you attack my family, then you're probably going to get that side of me. But some moments require compassion. Some moments require love. Some moments require empathy. Some moments require listening. Some moments require silence. Some moments require stoicism. Some moments require you to observe. Some moments require you to offer encouragement. Some moments require assertiveness. Some moments require you to be grounded. Some mo— you got to learn to meet the moment with what the moment most requires from you, how to best solve the situation in the moment that you're in. Trying to fit a round peg through a square hole with those same communication skills that aren't working. Let me say that again, that aren't working. They're not working. They don't work, right? So many of you guys are like, man, I gotta, I gotta win every argument with my wife, bro. Winning every argument with your wife, your version of winning is a fucking version of losing. Let's start there. Your version of winning is a version of losing. You're losing the intimacy. You're losing the connection. You're losing respect. You're losing the love. You're losing the relationship. You're losing your sex life. You're losing your sanity. You're losing sleep. So to win the argument is actually a concept of losing. You gotta learn how to create win-win situations with her. You gotta learn to be 3 steps ahead. You have to learn to read the environment. You have to learn to tap into your intuition. You have to learn and understand what goes on with you emotionally. The reason that you can't tap into, right, you can't tap into the small and intimate details with her is because why? This requires you to tap into a different side of you, which is what? The emotionally available, emotionally intelligent version of you. A lot of guys have a really high IQ. You're really smart. In fact, a lot of us that have started businesses, we— a lot of us that have built big shit, we know and understand this. There's intelligence there, there's IQ there, right? Thank you, love that filter. So, uh, there's intelligence there, right? But here's the problem. What there isn't is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is social awareness, relationship management, empathy, motivation, social skills. You have to have emotional intelligence to have the most dynamic of relationships because relationships are where you connect emotionally, especially, most importantly, an intimate relationship. So that means that I have to practice self-care and prioritize self-love. Because guess what? When you invest in yourself, guess who gets a better version of you? Every single person around you. When you invest in you, that is an act of love. That's why you have to make sure to take care of yourself. Practicing self-love, taking better care of yourself so you can better nurture your relationships. A lot of us, we've been Father the Disciplinarian, right? Oh, wait till I tell your dad, right, what you've done. We've been Father the Provider, feeling like a paycheck. We've been Father the Audience, right? Hey, show Dad what you did today in school. But a lot of us have never been Father the Nurturer. See, the nurturer is the protector. The beautiful thing is, is when you are a type of man who doesn't need to prove himself— a lion doesn't need to prove that he's a lion. A lion doesn't need to prove that he's a lion. He just is. He knows his truth. He stands in that truth. See, that's the real power move there. The only reason people get emotionally reactive and overcompensate is because their ego is involved, because they have something to prove. When you understand this, you live and walk in your truth. Exalting yourself over your wife, belittling her, putting her down. It's like, think about that. Why would you want to tear down and destroy the person that you have to spend the rest of your life with? What is that about? What is that about? No, really, what is that about? So The most important part of this is doing the work on yourself. That's what the Total Breakthrough Academy is, brother. The Total Breakthrough Academy is you becoming the best fucking version of you. That's what this is. This is an act of self-love. This is you aligning yourself with becoming the best version of you. 'But my wife, but my wife, it takes two to tango.' That's the— that, that is the epitome of a victim mentality, with every excuse under the sun as to why you shouldn't invest in yourself. Every, every excuse under the sun as to why you shouldn't invest in yourself. Nothing on this earth should ever separate you from your greatness. Greatness is in you because greatness made you. Greatness made you. Greatness created you. It's not a matter of whether or not you got greatness, man. It's why don't you have a relationship with that? Why do you put that off? Why do you procrastinate that? Why do you not invest in yourself? Because not investing in yourself shows the type of relationship you have with yourself. Behavior never lies. Your self-destructiveness, your bad habits, your lies and deception, the bargaining, everything that you do to try to avoid your truth. But let me tell you right now, because I know— I believe me, I, I know that truth is so piercing And no matter how much you try to drown out that guilty conscience that you have, it's still— you could still hear the whisper of it. Jeff Seymour knows because he joined the program. Jeff Seymour got massive breakthrough, right? Jeff, if you want to type in here what type of breakthrough you got in the program. Jeff's killing it, dude. Jeff's killing it. Jeff Seymour says— "Best investment I've ever done. Wish it was there 30 years ago." Guys in my program are crushing it. That's why I tell you guys all the time, right? You want to get on a team with a bunch of guys who are on a mission to improve who they are and become the best version of themselves. And you want to align yourself with those individuals. Here's the thing. What you're doing right now isn't making you better looking, and it's not making you more money. It's not making you more successful. It's not solving the problems in your marriage. It's not making— it's not bringing any value into your life. It's this. This is 2023. You got to become a high-valued man. And what makes you valuable is when you realize that everything you need to succeed is in here. Because when you make— when you create the success on the inside, when you create the success on the inside, when you become a success, when you become above reproach, not some average Joe with your vices. That includes the relationship you have with your physical body. Includes the shape you're in, includes the way you talk to yourself, the way you carry yourself, the way you treat women, the way you treat others. That shit's rare nowadays, and it's sad that it's rare. It's sad that it's rare. Why? That's why I love my guys. Right? You should do that with or without a team. Yeah, definitely. But a lot of times that bar that you set was actually really fucking low, and it isn't until you get around some individuals who are really crushing shit that you see that. Because a lot of times I realized that my ceiling was now my new floor after you break through that ceiling. Yeah, can you get there on your own? Yes, you can, absolutely. But why not shortcut your success? Because guess what? Success leaves clues. Success leaves clues. And when you've seen another man get success through a proven process, why would you not want to implement that into your life? See, that's the real question. Why would you not want to implement that into your life? So I gotta— you gotta be honest, right? And you gotta have realistic expectations about your relationships. Understand that relationships require effort and work, and you got to be willing to invest the time and the energy into making them successful. How do I know? 'Cause I've been there. How do my guys know? 'Cause they've been there. And here's the thing, man. The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with who? The man in the mirror. Some of my guys said they couldn't even look themselves in the mirror and tell themselves that they were worthy. That they deserved love. So they sabotaged it. They sabotaged the love. They sabotaged the love. And if you guys are trying to reach me, best way to reach me, right, is to come into this group in here, right? What's up, Ronald? Come on into this group right here. The link is in my bio. It's our free Facebook group. So you got to be honest and open also with your wife. You got to express your needs, boundaries, your expectations in a clear and direct way. It's learning how to carry yourself, man. Stop giving away your power. You got to express your feelings, your emotions, and be sure to share your feelings and emotions with your partner so they can understand how you're feeling. But here's, here's the difference. Here's the difference. Podcast is coming soon, by the way. Here's the difference. A lot of times you just try to solve the problem. She doesn't want your perspective, man. She just wants you to listen. She wants you to empathize. She doesn't want you to solve the problem. And see, that's the hardest thing for a business owner, entrepreneur type. You want to— you solve problems all day in your life, in your business, but it's like you're the guy that everybody comes to for answers to problems, yet you can't seem to solve the problem, or find the answer to the biggest problem in your life. Problem in your relationship. Because the problem in the relationship isn't happening in the relationship. That's why marriage and family therapy doesn't work. Ask yourself this: have you ever seen somebody who joined marriage counseling see their marriage turn around? I've seen it go the opposite direction and get worse. Because usually it's a last-ditch effort, and you're, you're asking, like, the most important thing, man, is, is you, the guy that shows up to the relationship. It didn't get like that overnight. Think about it. When you guys got married, it wasn't that bad. It was great. It was beautiful. It was healthy. It was strong. So what made it get to that point where it was destroyed? If your behaviors could destroy the relationship and fracture the relationship to the point where you're ready to get divorced, then you don't think changing that stuff could improve it and heal it? What did I say last week? The only difference between a relationship that's damaging and a relationship that's healing is safety. Safety and security. But my wife, but my wife, cuz she doesn't feel safe, bro. She doesn't feel like she's in a safe environment. See, that's why so many business owners and entrepreneurs, they understand this, because they understand the power, the power of true leadership. They understand that. They understand influence. Not dominance. See, that's where some people get it twisted. Like, I need to dominate to get my wife to change. My— I need to dominate over my wife. Now you missed it. It's about influence. If you're bringing out the worst in her, then understand you can also bring out the best in her. You can bring out the best in her. That's true leadership. That's why the guys in the Total Breakthrough Academy, in my program, Right? You can see the guys in my program and the change that they create in their relationship. Because why? It happens from the inside out. It happens from the inside out. My man Ronald, happens from the inside out. It's called the Inside Out Method. So what's the next process? Is, well, once you do that, envision that self-realization process in this program, you have to then establish the skills, all the necessary skills you need to become a multi-dimensional leader in your home. And guess what? You don't think that affects your business? Because it does. Because it does. Because it does. And then you emerge. What's the goal inside of Emerge? Breakthrough. You ex— you get the experience of what? Putting the tools into practice every day. Once you learn the tools, you have to embody the tools. You have to practice the tools. The cognitive communication skills that I teach inside the program, you have to learn them, master them, go from philosopher to initiate to master, from thinking to doing to being. I thought about it, I did it, and now it's a part of me. That's the shit where my guys are like, man, this isn't some information that I learned inside Beyond Driven's Total Breakthrough Academy. This is my information now. It lives inside of me. And brother, when it lives inside of you, that's when that truth comes alive. Because why? Now I have it memorized. And if I have it memorized, that means it's a habit. And if it's a habit, that That means I can make it just fire in my life. And guess what happens? Your life starts to shape and form around those habits. And then you can what? Repair the damage in the relationship that's been caused by the old you. You tried everything. You didn't realize it was an inside job. Happiness is an inside job, man. This whole process is an inside job. This is all about you looking at yourself. It's all about you just tearing everything away in the moment where you're like, all right, man, fuck, I'm not gonna blame anything or anyone again right now. I'm stopping. I'm just gonna take radical extreme accountability for my life right now, man. I'm gonna raise my hand and say, hey, I fucked this up, but I can fix it. And the day that you do that is the day your life changes. And it doesn't— see, here's the thing. Well, what about my wife and the marriage and if we're going to stay together or not? At the end of the day, let's all hope and pray that you can save it. But regardless, don't you understand that everybody wins? Either A, someone's not getting abused anymore. B, you become a better version of you and you're not unhealthy anymore. Or I mean, think about the outcome in that. Everybody loses if you don't take action. Everybody loses if you don't take action. Are you going to be the first one in the breach? Are you going to be the first one to take action? Are you going to sit back make excuses and wait for your partner to take action first. So think about that. So I'm going to wait for the person I'm in the relationship with to take the action so that I can follow and do my part too. Damn, man, how does it feel to put your success on the fucking back burner and in somebody else's hands every day? How's that feel? It doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel good. So the real goal, right, the real goal is to invest in yourself regardless. Regardless, man, you got to express the feelings and emotions you have. And that's the reality. So most important thing, most important thing, right? Most important thing is that you invest in you. Got to know your partner's love language. You got to spend quality time with them. Some of you guys think, man, I got to I got to work less. Like, I can't— I don't have this work-life balance anymore. I can't figure this thing out. This work-life balance is killing me. Well, check it out, man. Maybe it's not about your work-life balance. Maybe it's about the time that you do spend with her when you're not working. And maybe that time isn't even quality time. Lauren, before we even talk about price, we would need to determine if we'd even be a good fit working together. Like I said before, we don't work with anybody. So if you're interested in learning more, we can have somebody from our team reach out to you, brother. Yeah, Tommy knows what's up, right? Everybody's rely— everybody's responsible for their own stuff, man. So I got to practice empathy. I got to practice understanding. I got to listen to my partner. I got to put myself in their shoes. I got to think from their perspective. How are you going to help somebody if you can't see something from their perspective? Imagine somebody was on the edge of a building and they're ready to jump and they're, you know, ready to take their own life. And you have to try to talk them off that ledge. Some of you guys are in situations like that in your marriage every day. You got to make sure that you understand one another. You got to practice forgiveness and acceptance. You don't hold list. I'm sorry, man, but some of you guys holding resentment, it's It's like, come on, bro, really? You're holding the big list on your wife? Come on, man, really? Don't dwell on past mistakes. Be willing to forgive. Look past the imperfections. Go ask any 90-year-old couple who's been married for 70 years, hey, how'd you guys stay married? I just did this. I was just surfing down at the beach about a month ago, and this couple comes up the beach, and I said, hey, I'll ask you guys a question. How long you guys been married? And they go, oh, we just met on Tinder. And they're like, no, I'm just kidding, bro. They're like, I'm just playing. Um, they said, we've been together for 70 years. We've been married 70 years. This couple is 90 years old, man. I'm like, okay, this is crazy. And I said, what do you think is the number one thing that has kept your marriage alive? And they said, looking past imperfections. And you know, the sad part is some of you guys are trying to get somebody else to change so that they'll accept a version of you that's far below the standard that you should be living at. You want your spouse to change so they can accept the version of you that's fucked off, some version of you that's so far below what you're capable of. So much better than that, bro. Capable of so much more. My wife's nagging me. No, she's not. She's holding you accountable. She holding you accountable, man. You know what's right or wrong. See, that's the crazy part. You know the difference between right and wrong. You do. Learn to celebrate your wife's success. Man, your wife is starving, starving for validation. Starving for you to recognize her successes. And all it is for you is expectations. What's what you should do. Oh man, fucking killing a good thing, dude. It's trampling a beautiful flower right outside of your doorstep. You don't appreciate the way the sun hits it. You don't appreciate the way it glistens. You don't appreciate the way it grows. You don't appreciate the way it goes through different seasons. And then you get offended when people don't appreciate it in you. So offended at the way that people treat you, yet you don't get offended at the way you treat other people. So offended when people violate your boundaries, but not offended when you violate your own boundaries every single day. Not even know how to apologize. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's not an apology, man. An apology is when you actually correct the behavior. Your sorries are just ways to avoid the consequences and just appease or placate your wife so you don't have to feel like shit about it. How do I know? Because I've been there. I've been there. That's why for you guys, you feel the conviction in me, because why? I've been there. What am I passionate about? I'm passionate about you finding your truth and living in alignment with the best version of you. Why? Because guess what happens, bro, when we do that? That creates a ripple effect. And one day that's a part of your legacy. Somebody in your family tree has to metabolize this poison that's come through your bloodline. Who's it going to be? See, that puts me on a mission. One of my clients last night in the group, he said, man, that inspires me when I think about that. Inspires me. Inspires me. Inspires me to change. Inspires me to change, man, because what does it do? It inspires me to make a difference. Why'd you stop showing appreciation and gratitude for your partner? Man, I tell my wife every morning how grateful I am for her. Thank God every day for my wife. Me and my kids wouldn't have the life we do without her. You don't make time for fun anymore. You don't have fun. You don't share the lighthearted moments, man. When was the last time you laughed with her? You laughed? Was the last time you guys laughed? Laughter so healing, man. When was the last time you sat around and laughed and giggled and smiled like kids? And here's the sad part. I say laughed and giggled like kids, but then there's a whole nother side of it, which is your wife doesn't want to raise another child. Here you are with your emotion dysregulation. Can't manage the stress, taking out your anger out on everybody, or just shutting down and stonewalling and being passive. It's like your wife already raised kids. She doesn't want to raise another kid, man. She doesn't. How many of you guys are connecting with this? Real talk. And again, that's why I tell you guys this information, is because it's a call to action, man. It's to help you. Because why? I needed somebody in my life that was gonna wake me up, man. Like, hey, you're so much better than that, bro. You're capable of so much more. You're settling for less. You're tolerating a life that's far below your capability, Tim. And the worst part about it is that shit ate at me every day. It was like, I knew it, I know that, and it kills me, but I don't know what to do. I don't know how to change. If that's you, type info in the comments right now. Type info in the comments, man. I want to connect with you. I want to help you. I want to show you the path, show you the process. It's not too late. You can change. And don't worry about what's going to happen with this or what's going to happen with that, bro. If the whole entire world got stripped away from you but you were still happy, you were— you still had peace Would any of that matter? See, it's not the external result that you want, it's the feeling you think that's going to give you. Oh, I want this and I want that with my wife and I want this. No, you don't. You want the feeling you think that's going to give you. What if you find out that you got all that stuff and then it did nothing for you? That's why a lot of people, they chase money, they chase success, they chase dreams And then they get there and they realize, wow, just like a lot of celebrities, damn, I got everything I ever wanted and my life is empty. You got to strengthen trust, man. You got to be transparent. You got to be honest. You got to stop telling lies. The relationship is so filled with lies, bro, and nobody knows what to believe anymore. And that, that trust has to be built back. You got to show support. You got to show support. I tell my wife all the time, your dreams are now my dreams for you. Your dreams are my dreams for you. Encouragement. Why? Why? That's, that's somebody that— that's an asset in my life. That's somebody I'd live with, man. It's like you're really at war with yourself. The war that you have with your wife is a reflection of the war that goes on within you. Come on, man. You can't be at peace with— you can't be at war with the world and be at peace with yourself. Doesn't exist. So stop running from that. Stop hiding from that, man. You got to become independent. What happened to your interest? What happened to your— the things that made you feel most like yourself? What happened to that? What happened to you prioritizing the relationship? What happened to you resolving conflicts? What happened to you making compromises? What happened to you actively listening? What happened to you showing affection? Check it out, not all affection is physical, bro. Verbal affection. The tongue has the power of life and death. Are you speaking life over her? Bro, that's the mother of your children. Why would you want to tear down someone that has to raise your kids? What is that about? You know what it's about? It's about a hole within you. It's about a fractured part of you that you've been running from for 20, 30, 40 years. It's a part of you that is so desperate for love that can't— but, but can't even receive it when it's right in front of him. And I know All you've ever known is performance-based love. I got to perform, I got to show up, I got to work, I got to do these things, I got to provide, but it's never enough and it backfires. And everybody in your life, they're like, I don't want your shit. I just want you. I just want you to be present. I just want you to be available. I just want you to love me the way I know you're capable of loving me. Don't you know that's why your wife sticks around? It's because she has a fucking fantasy of who you're going to become. She has a fantasy in her mind about the man that you're going to become and hopefully one day revert back to, and she's waiting. And all you've ever done is shit on that and made excuses about how it's ridiculous and outlandish. Man, there's a compromise in that. I get it. But think about it, the version of you that she wants you to be, is that so bad? If your wife left you for a better man, what would he have that you didn't have? What's the cost of you not changing? Everything. Everything. So look, man, There is no donation link on my profile. It's only the stuff on my profile is free resources. So I don't know what this guy's talking about, donate with the link. There is no donation link. Everybody else that's out there using my content and using my shit, this is my only page. Anybody else that's using my page is a fraud. Don't respond to them. This is the only page. My page has all the links inside my, my bio. So guys, if you're interested in learning more, check out the links on my page, please check them out. Made them for you guys. And if you're interested in learning more here on Facebook, type info in the comments. Somebody from our team will reach out to you, man. You're not alone. It's 2023, man. It's time to change your life. It's time to get off the fence, stop making excuses. It's time. Love and respect, man. I'm here for you. I'll be here next week too. And the week after that and the week after that and every week after that. Because I'm committed. I'm committed to holding you accountable to being the best version of yourself. Period. Stay strong. Love and respect.