Tim Arrigo describes taking young men at a mental-health facility to buy suits and see themselves in mirrors, helping them imagine a future self. He argues that today's decisions shape tomorrow's identity, and asks: are you doing something now that your future self will thank you for?
You know, sometimes we're so trapped in the identity of who we are in the moment that we can't see into the future, into a version of ourselves that we will become. There's such a large division between who we are and who we truly are because we can't just envision what that version of ourselves is going to look like. You know, years ago, I used to work for a mental health facility in Costa Mesa, California. And many of the young men that came through the facility, they would want to leave the facility within a couple weeks of being there. And, you know, everybody would come and try to talk to the guy. They would try to talk to him, talk him off the ledge, but inevitably it never worked, right? If anybody knows anything, when somebody wants to leave a facility and multiple people come and talk to them, they just perceive it as an attack. So I saw this, and instead what I did is I created an experience for them. So I would take them, I'd take them to In-N-Out, I'd give them some food, right? And then I'd take them— if they smoked, I'd buy them a pack of smokes. And then I'd take them to the mall, and I'd walk them through the mall, and I'd spray a little bit of cologne. And then I'd take them up to Macy's and ask them, hey, you know, what size suit do you wear? They'd be like, oh, you know, 38 regular. I put them in a suit, and before you know it, they'd be standing in the dressing room in a brand new suit. And tie with brand new shiny shoes. And as they were staring into the mirror, I would ask them, I would say, does a guy like that make decisions like this? And every single time in that moment, they were able to step outside of themselves into a future version of who they could be and realize the decisions that they were making today had an impact on who they would become in the future. And see, so much of the time we're not thinking about this. We're not thinking about a future version of ourselves. And I would come back to the facility every time. People would say, man, what'd you say to the guy? I said, I didn't say anything. I just created an experience. I gave him a shift in his identity. I allowed him to see who he could become if he would pay more attention, be more mindful of the decisions that he's making in this moment. And see, that's my question for you today, is are you doing something for yourself that a future version of you is going to thank you for? Are you doing something today that a version of you in the future is Thanking you for—
