Tim Arrigo talks about his wife's affair and the real lesson he learned: he'd abandoned his own worth long before she cheated. He regrets not doing the inner work sooner, arguing that self-love has to come first if you want real intimacy.
So if you go back and, and you, you dwell on remorse or regret in any way, in any shape or fashion, it should be in this— not about what I messed up to force my wife to cheat on me because I'm not good enough and I failed as a husband. Fuck that. That is a totally irrational frame. Hmm. It's the opposite. It's how did I disown myself and get so disconnected from what I deserve and what I want in my life that I was willing to settle for a dynamic where I felt disconnected, where I felt afraid, and where I felt like my intuition was firing off, but that I accepted a relationship that was so far below my standard that I remained unaware for it for so long, to the point where my wife could have a full-on affair under my nose and I didn't realize it. So you know what I'm really regretful about? You know what I'm really remorseful about? The fact that I didn't do the work I'm doing in Beyond Driven 5 years ago before I met my wife, before we were together. I'm blessed. I got 2 beautiful boys out of this. I'm blessed. But aside from that, I'm really mad at myself for not seeking and finding the love inside myself, for myself that I needed to have before I could have any type of intimate relationship.
