A man trying to control his wife needs to lead differently. Real influence comes from personal discipline and becoming the gold standard yourself, not quick fixes. The work is internal: confront your shadow side, reconnect with your purpose, and model the behavior you want to see.
You want to know the number one way to help your wife? It's to inspire her. You're trying to control, you're trying to develop dominance in the relationship when you should really be creating influence. You don't inspire your wife. You're upset. It's like you're waiting for somebody to change. When you know that you need to be leading. Leadership requires investment. It requires determination. It requires you to get up and make a change. Discipline. You need to be the gold standard for the relationship. Be the change that you want to see. And here you are in a dynamic where you're getting upset because She's not changing. You know how much emotional damage has been caused over the years because of your behavior? I know because I've been there. So you can't have an expectation that after one week of making these changes that she's going to come around or even just believe in what you're doing. She doesn't want to invest any more energy into what you're trying, these quick fixes. And that's all you've done is these quick fixes. Why? Because you have an instant gratification mindset. You don't want to actually do the difficult work. You don't want to look within yourself and have to acknowledge all the things that are in your shadow that you've been suppressing for decades. You think that a lot of your problems are this relationship? Or do you think that this relationship just brings out that darkness in you, brings out those dark parts of you? And here's the thing, so much of the time you're not even connected to the greatness in you. You're not even connected to that. And here's my question: Why are you not connected to that greatness? Why are you not connected to that power? Why are you not connected to what God gave you and what God put inside of you? Why do you not affirm your worth and value? Why do you not know what you're— why do you see yourself as nothing more than the things you do, the things you can provide? It's your energy, your energy. When you're at home, how do people feel around you? Are you a safe person? Are you? Do people come to you with their concerns? Do they come to you as a voice of reason? Because if they don't, then stop asking yourself why you feel the way you do.
