If you wouldn't let your spouse see your phone, you're living in secrecy that breeds anxiety and self-doubt. The speaker argues radical honesty with yourself and your partner, though painful, is the only path to real freedom and the first step toward lasting change.
I got a question for you, and whether or not you answer yes or no to this question is going to determine immediately in 5 seconds the level of trust in your marriage. You ready for it? Here it comes. Would you let your spouse open up your phone and look at your search history? Would you let your spouse open up your phone and look at your phone, look into your phone? Because the answer to that question very quickly should determine the level of trust, the level of secrecy, the level of transparency, the level of vulnerability, the level of openness that you guys have in your relationship. And if you answered no to that, secretly answered no to that, then that should tell you everything about why there's issues in the dynamic. Don't act confused when you know that you're part of the problem. Don't act confused when you're living a life in secret. Don't act confused when you're like a house divided, when you display one type of behavior but then in secret exhibit another. You know what that's called? A lack of integrity. And you were called to be better than that. You were called to be a leader. You were called to exhibit greatness because greatness made you. So my question is, why are you living a life of secrecy? Why do you try to weave, bob and weave in between these issues? Why do you tell people things that you just think they want to hear instead of living a life of honesty? You wonder why you're anxious. You wonder why you're nervous. You wonder why you constantly second-guess yourself. Why? Because you're a lot of times caught in your own web of lies. And like, you're stuck in your own web of lies and you wonder, well, how do I get out of this problem that I created. But your biggest fear is being radically honest, radically transparent. Your biggest fear is doing this work because what does that cause? Well, that causes potential problems because some people aren't going to like the truth. But here's the truth about the truth: the truth hurts, but it also heals. And see, you think, oh, I can just put it off until another time. They say time heals all wounds, but time won't heal what you won't face. And you can't keep waiting, you can't keep procrastinating, because inevitably you're not getting healthier, things aren't getting better, and you're pushing off your happiness until a later date. And what kind of message do you send yourself when you do that? You know what the message is? The message is that you don't matter. You're basically telling yourself that you, your happiness, your life, your freedom doesn't matter. And when you hold the keys to your emotional freedom, and when you're enslaved by your own emotional incarceration because of the lies, because of the mistrust, because of the self-doubt, because of the fear that you live in every day, well, it takes a radical decision. And when you have major problems in your life, right, when you got a drastic problem It requires a drastic solution. So what's the first step to that drastic solution? Take off your mask. Stop living in denial. And if you're going to be honest with anybody, at least start by being honest with yourself.
