Creating the Marriage You Desire

Hey brother, are you the victim or the architect inside your marriage? Because I know for me, I used to be in a position where I used to just say, it is what it is. It is what it is, man. I used to tell people that, you know what, it is what it is. But the reality is, is it? It is what it is is basically saying that I'm powerless, that I can't change it, and that I'm a victim of circumstance. But brother, check it out, you're actually the architect. You can step into creatorhood. God created you in his image to do what? Create. Be ingenuitive. You've already built a business. You've already created amazing things in your life. You can create something new. And the problem is a lot of guys, their reward system isn't wired around success inside their marriage. It's like their reward system is wired around success inside their business because they get these dopamine hits and these dopamine spikes from accomplishments, from accolades, from validation. From achievements. Quarter 1, 2, 3, and 4. We know our goals, the trajectory. We know our milestones, our KPIs, and what we have to reach. But inside your marriage, you don't have those things set up. So guess what happens a lot of times? Well, you were motivated and inspired to pursue a goal, which was what? To get married. You were motivated to pursue a goal, which was what? To buy a house. You were motivated to pursue a goal, which was what? To have children. But then what happened? You didn't establish timelines, KPIs, milestones, and goals. A lot of what you've used to build an amazing business, you could use to build an amazing marriage, but you haven't wired your reward system around it. Ah, see, this is why you're not motivated, because dopamine motivates you to pursue goals, but you haven't established goals, real SMART goals, specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely goals inside your marriage. That's what we'll help you do inside the academy. Establish some real goals for yourself around specific milestones that you have intentionally established that you want to achieve. But see, here's the problem. A lot of guys, they don't have a process. They don't have coaches in their life. They don't have accountability in their life. They don't have a system where they can become objective and step out of their own subjective reality. They just live as if it is what it is. Yeah, I know, Tim, but it is what it is. You know, I've learned to live with it. And a lot of those guys who say that, they don't realize that they're making themselves a victim in a situation that they have the power to actually change. Hey brother, check it out. I want to tell you something today. You got the power to change the situation that you're in. You got the power to change the marriage that you're in. You got the power, right, to positively influence your wife to make the changes that you want to see when you model those changes yourself. You're at a standoff with your wife. You guys are both standing there. Who's going to shoot first? Who's going to be first in the breach? Who's going to take action first? And you know what? So many guys are in a situation where they think that they have time. You don't have any more time because as men, a lot of times we wait till things are on fire before we decide to do something. Why do you have to be reactive? You don't. You can be proactive. You can establish some guidelines. You can establish some rules. You can establish some real KPIs around what you want to achieve inside your marriage. Why are you not being the architect in this regard? Stop being a bystander in your own marriage. Stop allowing your marriage to to end by a thousand million slow paper cuts and die and bleed out. You don't have to try to resuscitate this thing and bring it back to life. You can actually allow it to grow. You can nurture it. You can pour into it. Because you know what you're going to get from your marriage? What you put into it. So my question for you today is, are you the victim? Are you the architect?