Tim Arrigo tells men who feel intimidated or devalued in their marriages that fear is the real problem. He argues they've lost touch with their God-given identity and calls them to step into their spiritual purpose, live transparently, and break generational patterns.
I was speaking to a gentleman earlier and he said, Tim, it's like I treat my wife like she's my mom. I constantly feel like I'm in trouble all the time. It's like nothing I ever do is ever good enough. I feel devalued, disrespected. I feel emasculated in my own home and I feel insecure. I got to walk on eggshells. And I said, brother, that's because one thing, you fear your wife. You have a fear of your wife's reaction to who you authentically are in God. And the only reason that you truly walk in fear is because you yourself don't have belief in who you are. You don't have belief in who you are because you're not fully stepping into the fullness of who you are under God's authority, who God called you to be. He's calling you to something greater. You know that you're not living at your full potential, and so you feel fear because why? You feel like a hypocrite. You feel like a liar. You feel like a fraud. You feel like a fake. You feel like a phony. And you feel like, you know, that behind closed doors, if people were to come watch you in the way you live your life, you wouldn't be proud of it. You hide behind your wall of success. Everybody thinks you're a success. You have the answer to every problem. Everybody comes to you for answers to problems. Yet ironically, you can't solve the biggest problem in your life and don't have the answers to it because you won't ask for help either. You're embarrassed of having to reach out for help, and so you'd rather walk on eggshells and live in fear, far below what God is calling you to, not recognizing that you're constantly under spiritual attack every single day, forfeiting freedom and choosing bondage instead, choosing to live in the darkness, choosing to live in hibernation, hiding the gifts that God has given you, the talents that he's given you, the ability to reach other men other people in the dark, to lead your family, break generational curses. You refuse to do that work because you are scared, you are afraid, and that is normal. See, fear does two things: it paralyzes you in the moment, and it forces you or urges you to return back into hiding to where you came from. But here's the issue: you're not going backwards. You're not going back to where you were. You're going on to something greater. God is calling you to a great place, my brother, and it's your time right now. You're at the fork in the road. You're no longer in survival mode. You built the business, you have a beautiful family, you've established yourself, you have security in your life, but now it's time to focus less on the external and more on the internal. It's a season of growth. It's a season of harvest. It's a season of planting. It's a season of building something new inside your life. Stop living in fear. Stop walking on eggshells. Because guess what happens when you become the 2.0 version of you who feels like he's living in alignment with the purpose that God intended for his life? When you become purpose-driven, guess what happens? You don't live in fear anymore. Now you live in truth. Now you live in transparency. And you're not afraid of people seeing that in you because you are who you say you are. And that right there is your ticket to freedom. I'm not afraid to be honest. I'm not afraid to be open. I'm not afraid to be who I am. Because why? I have nothing to hide. I have nothing to hide. You want to talk about freedom? That's freedom.
