A man recognizes a pattern across multiple marriages: he says yes to everything and feels ignored anyway. The speakers argue the problem isn't his partners but his own unhealed wounds, likely rooted in childhood, that keep him choosing the same dynamics over and over.
That means that you have been in another dynamic where somebody did not take your feelings into consideration before they decided to act or behave in a certain way, knowing that if you found out, it would definitely hurt you.
Correct.
Right. So that means that being in this type of dynamic is— this isn't the first time, correct? It's not the first time that I've been in a marriage where I haven't been considered and I felt disconnected. And that someone has chose to do something selfish that only serves them without any consideration for me, despite the life we've created together. So the question here is this: what is unhealed in you that makes you enter and remain in dynamics where there's no regard for you?
Yeah, is it that you're— it goes all the way back, man.
Yeah. Is it that I'm a yes man, right? Is that I'll do anything?
I'll bend over backwards.
I am a people pleaser. I'm a yes man. So immediately, what do I know? That this is about me, but it's not about me the way that I thought it was about me.
No, no, no.
This was inevitable. This was inevitable. It's called the inevitable factor. This was inevitable, just like it was inevitable in my last relationship, just like it was inevitable before that relationship, just like it was inevitable in my marriage. This is inevitable because we're talking about patterns. We're not talking about people. We're talking about patterns. We're talking about behavior. We're talking about cycles. We're talking about programming. We're talking about pathology. This was inevitable. And here I am again at the precipice of learning and growth. To find out again why and what it's about. Really, it's the same reason why right now you're not able to stand up, look yourself in the mirror, and say, this has nothing to do with me, I don't deserve this. The reason that you can't stand up and look yourself in the mirror and say that is the same reason that this happened.
Oh. Hey, just taking that one in.
